Being there for your kids - Handling Change in Your Family’s Lives

Episode Date: July 8, 2023

The only 3 universal events all of experience are death, taxes, and change. Change happens. It's how we handle it that matters. The tone you set for your kids will greatly impact how they handle change in their lives. Here I offer 2 rules of change. Get these rules in your head and you can set the tone for how well your kids handle inevitable change.

Hi, I'm Dr. John Robinson, and this is Teachable Moments. I have another tidbit for you today. Let me ask you, is it time to change? When does change occur? All the time. How do I know things are changing? You're alive. What generates change, time and circumstances? What can I do to deal with the impact of change adjust accordingly? Ben Franklin, or some other famous person, noted one time that the only thing inevitable in life are death and taxes. L.O.L. I would add death, taxes, and change. No more school, no more books, no more teachers, dirty looks.

The kids sang in unison as they came in the front door. They had just finished the last day of school year and were looking forward to fun, stress-free summer off from school. At ages 8 and 10, Mandy and James were always full of energy in life. They kept their parents on their toes. Remember, guys, their mom, Becky, started. After dinner tonight, your dad and I have skis. scheduled a planning meeting for our summer activities. Both children groaned,

Oh, mom, again, we do this all the time, Mandy complained. James held his nose and muffled, Boring. I know, I know, Becky repeated. Not your favorite activity. We'll try to keep it brief. We want to share fun things we can plan on for the family this summer. We need your input, so put your thinking caps on. Change is coming. How can families handle the best? Becky starts off well by giving her kids a heads up. When she calls the family meeting after dinner, they will be expecting it, even if groaning, and more likely they will engage. The first rule of change is anticipate and plan for it, if at all possible.

If both of you work outside the home, the kids will have to get used to daycare and or planned summer activities, such as camp, vacation, and sporting events. Where a venue is new to them, if possible, take them to the venue before engaging it. so that they can check it out and begin to adjust to their new normal. If one of you is the stay-at-home parent, go over with them the rules and expectations you have for them as they go through the day. Maybe something different, like pay for added chores or repair activities, will incentivize them to follow through. In addition to planned activities, give each other children alone time for part of each day and planning time if they want to invite friends over. Also include family time for some of the evenings when the working parent can join in.

As a caution, don't let the television, iPad, computer, or gaming be your babysitter. Limit electronics, especially social media, to know more than two hours a day. Such planning time and family meetings will help the kids feel involved, anticipate, and lead to more fun and less stress. Spontaneous change is also a part of our ongoing lives. Sometimes kids are thrown into a ringer when something, unexpected happens. As parents, we can set the tone for our kids. The second rule of change is stay calm and go with the flow. Give your children opportunity to express their feelings and

active listen to them until their emotional fever subsides. Also, if possible, reframe the changing circumstances in a positive direction. For example, when my kids were four and one, I had them in the car driving somewhere. We were on a four-lane highway and I ran out of gas. I was 50 feet from an overpass and could see a gas station on that road. We took off with my four-year-old in hand and carrying my one-year-old. Both kids were nervous about the traffic rushing by. I kept an upbeat mood, explained how we were going to walk to the gas station, climbing up the embankment of the overpass, get the gas can, and bring it back to the car so we could continue our trip. As they calmed down, I concluded, so, guys, let's have an adventure. It all went off without a hitch, and they had a story to tell Mommy when they

got home. Both planned and spontaneous change happen with the universal one being moving from school mode to summer mode. Anticipate and plan ahead when you know the change is coming. Keep your cool, model adaptive behavior and reframe stress to adventure when unexpected change happens. Blessings, Dr. John. If this tidbit stirs questions of your own, contact me through my website at www.org.org email me at John Robinson 0.0 at bell-south.net. I'm Dr. Jonathan C. Robinson, licensed clinical psychologist, and author of Teachable Moments, Building Blocks of Christian Parenting. This has been, Teachable Moments. Teachable Moments, Building Blocks of Christian Parenting is available online at AmazonBooks.com and in local and national bookstores. More on Dr. Robinson at

T-M-C-P-I-N-C.com.