Being there for your kids - Hearing and Listening are Very Different

Episode Date: December 25, 2018

     At this holiday time of the year, what greater gift for your child than to really listen to her. Not just hear her words, but interact with your whole body, mind, and soul. That's the power of active listening. You are all there, all in. When your child knows she has your undivided attention, she feels free to really express herself and to let her into her world of needs, behaviors, and feelings. Give your children the gift of really listening, and spending time with them, this holiday season and every day of the hear. Happy Holidays!

Hi, I'm Dr. John Robinson, and this is Teachable Moments. A question for you. Are you listening? What? Oh, sure, honey. Yeah. Her dad was peering intently at his computer screen while eight-year-old Alexa rubbing her elbow. She didn't think her daddy was listening, but he said he was, so she went on. Why do they call it my funny bone? There's nothing funny about knocking it on the doorframe and getting all tingly. She paused and peered at her father as her dad's focus continued to be glued to the screen. It hurts, Daddy.

I think I broke it. Uh-huh, was the only response she got from her dad. Alexa sighed, rubbing her elbow, and concluded, Oh, never mind. She then walked away. So, Alexa's dad may have been hearing her, but he certainly was not listening. He was in his own world where Alexa didn't exist

or, at best, was an intrusion. No parent intentionally puts their child in that position of invisibility. hearing is a neurological phenomenon where sound waves enter the ear connect with the auditory nerve convert to neurotransmission and are sent to the brain for interpretation it's medically very elegant one of god's ways of alerting us to our surroundings but in relationship hearing is only the tip of the iceberg in the ocean we only see 10% of the floating iceberg 90% is underwater similarly hearing is only 10% of relationship listening is the other 90% listening generates interaction with your child.

If Daddy had been interested and really wanted to hear Alexa, he would have done several things immediately after she came to him. He would have paused the computer program and turned the screen blank. He would have turned from his desk and faced Alexa straight on at her eye level. If he was unsure of her comments, he would have asked her clarification. Seeing that she had physical pain, having bumped her elbow, he would have asked to examine the injury. Knowing by her words and actions that she had an understanding,

emotional fever, he would have gathered Alexa into his arms for a hug and then used active listening to help her understand her feelings. As he saw Alexa's emotional fever lesson, he might have turned to the funny bone comment and had a teachable moment with his daughter. Listening is much more than hearing. Are you listening to your spouse and children? I'm Dr. Jonathan C. Robinson, licensed clinical psychologist and Christian author, and this has been Teachable. Teachable Moments, building blocks of Christian Parenting is available online at AmazonBooks.com and in local and national bookstores. More on Dr. Robinson at TMC-P-I-N-C.com.