Being there for your kids - Help Your Child Stay in the Moment

Episode Date: March 13, 2019

        When you are able to help your child stay in the moment, you are clearing out the potential emotional baggage that clutters life decisions. Focusing on past situations and issues tends to ramp up depression. Focusing on future situations and potential issues tends to ramp up anxiety. Mindful parenting promotes focusing on both yours and your child's needs and feelings at that moment. It is the best opportunity to successfully sort things out. It can also be a source for teachable moments and will enhance emotional intimacy. Be a mindful parent and help your child stay in the moment.

Hi, this is Teachable Moments, and I'm Dr. John Robinson. There has been some recent research that has introduced a new concept to the field of parenting. It's called mindful parenting. Pre-teen Amy comes home from school and bursts through the kitchen door. They're the girls who are being mean to me. I hate them, she cries as she melts into her mama's arms. You hug and console her using your best active listening to help her through her hurt feelings. Amy feels better, but concludes, I'm never going back to school. Your continued active listening brings her emotional fever down.

She soon feels better and loses interest in talking any further. Tweenager is a term for children who are no longer children, but not yet teenagers. Tween age drama is universal. You did your best in helping Amy with her immediate upset, but there's more talking to be done. Later that night, during the bedtime routine, you speak up. Sweetheart, I'm so sorry those mean girls got to you today. Let's pray that tomorrow will be better. Afterward, you lead with, you know, Amy, I have some thought.

Do you want to hear them? Whatever your child's age, asking permission to talk to them, perked up their ears, and almost always leads to a yes answer. Generally, drama comes from two sources, either worry or sadness. Worry starts with a question, what if? What if they stay mean to me? What if I can't get over it? And so forth. Sadness usually starts with a statement, if only. If only I'd walk down the clear hallway. If only Kathy would have stood up to them for me. Being a mindful parent involves helping your child understand their feelings in the moment by active listening, then help them stay in the moment as they interact with you and others. Consider my stretched out arms to be the ends of a straight timeline. The timeline stretches from

way in the past on my left through the present to way in the future on my right. Take the midpoint and sweep your hand left. Sadness is regretting the past. Take the midpoint and sweep your hand right. Worry is fearing what lies in the future. By bringing your hands together from the outstretched ends to the midpoint, you are being mindful and staying in the moment. Mom's explanation to her daughter, Amy, was a profound teachable moment that helped Amy take care of her own problems and not let stuff get to her by being mindful and staying in the moment. Help your children be centered in their lives. I'm Dr. John Robinson, licensed clinical psychologist and Christian parenting author, and this has been Teachable Moments.

Teachable Moments, Building Blocks of Christian Parenting, is available online at Amazon books.com and in local and national bookstores. More on Dr. Robinson at TMC-P-I-N-C.com.