Being there for your kids - Helping Your Child Thru Transitions

Episode Date: February 17, 2020

Normal daily transitions for all of us include asleep/awake, to/from work or school, coming home, day/night activities, and awake/asleep. These and other unusual or specific transitions all can give us pause, if not trouble. In particular, children are susceptible to disruption around transition activities, unless you plan and prepare for the transitions ahead of time. Usually, a 5-10 minute transition time is sufficient to help smoothen it out.

Hi, I'm Dr. John Robinson, and this is Teachable Moments. You know, transitions are always tough. Recently, I posted my top 10 tips for parenting success. Now I am elaborating on each item on the list. Parenting tip number two is this. Allow at least five to ten minutes of transition, both at the beginning and at the end of changing circumstances. Transitions are always tough for all of us.

For children in particular, quickly jumping from one act, to the next, can throw them for a loop. Giving children a five to ten minute heads up before a change and five to ten minutes to debrief after a change can go a long way toward their acceptance of the changing circumstances. Without such transition time, you likely may have to deal with attitude, disrespect, stalling, and other forms of acting out. Oh my gosh, Kelly's mom popped out of bed after sleeping through her alarm. Kelly, baby, she called out. Sweetheart, we overslept. Hurry, get up. You'll be late for school. Kelly turned over in her bed and pulled the covers up around her neck. Huh? She mumbled. What? Mom raced to Kelly's room, explaining again to her,

rousting her from her sleep and helping her seven-year-old get dressed. Breakfast was a toaster pop-up and juice bag in the car on the way to school. Kelly grumbled as she got out of the car, dragging her feet through the school doorway, just as the first bell rang. Like most parents, you've probably been there done that. Unfortunately, what follows is likely a bad school day for Kelly. Her good night's sleep was disrupted by her rapid wake-up call. Her breakfast was speed-diled and unnutricious. Without adequate transition and adjustment to changing circumstances, her response time in class is likely stalled, not the best of beginnings to what might have been a productive school day. Of course, this scenario falls under the Stuff Happens category. Not much you can do except make the best of it.

Here's hoping mom at least apologized to Kelly on her way to school and tried to help her settle into her day. When possible, however, give your child at least a five to ten minute heads up before change and a similar debriefing time after change. Darling, remember that you have a doctor's appointment at 4 p.m. after school today. When you get in from the school bus around 3.15, let's have some milk and cookies for settle down time before we go to your appointment. And after the appointment. So, how did that go? Do you have any questions the doctor didn't answer? How do you feel about the lotion she gave you for your itchiness? Do you want to help me make supper tonight? Such before and after conversations help smoothen transitions and lessen the likelihood of blowback. While transitions can be tough, you can help ease your child through them. I'm Dr. Jonathan C. Robinson, licensed clinical psychologist and Christian author of Teachable Moments, Building Blocks of Christian Parenting. And this has been Teachable Moments.

Teachable Moments, Building Blocks of Christian Parenting is available online at AmazonBooks.com and in local and national bookstores. More on Dr. Robinson at TMC-P-I-N-C.com.