Being there for your kids - How are you faring during the pandemic?

Episode Date: January 23, 2021

A year has passed since the first coronavirus infections in the United States. We are all finding our "new normal." Many listeners have been emailing me with questions about adjusting to this new normal in our lives. Today starts a new series on my podcast, where I will be sharing with you some of these letters and my responses. Today, mom laments changes in how she will celebrate her 6 year old's birthday party. Also, another letter decries all the changes in family functioning for everybody to get things done. Message me when you have questions of your own. I will respond personally and within a subsequent podcast. Blessings, Dr. Jon Robinson

I'm Dr. John Robinson, and this is Teachable Moments. It's been the middle of July since I last produced a podcast. Lots going on. Today is the beginning of my next series of podcasts. Over my 43 years of private practice as a licensed clinical psychologist, I've had many opportunities to respond to questions that parents have about how to raise their children. You know, my belief is that as parents, our responsibility is to raise independent, responsible, socially conscious adults by the time they leave the nest. From scripture, Proverbs 226 says that we are to,

quote, raise our children in the ways of the Lord so that when they grow old, they will not depart from him, end quote. Over the years, I've collected questions from parents and responded. Now, through my podcast, I have an opportunity to share some of those with you. Here are a few. Dear Dr. Robinson, Megan, my precious six-year-old daughter, is having a a birthday in a few weeks. In normal times, her first grade teacher holds a birthday party in class for each of the birthday children as their special day approaches. This year, with social distancing and all the other cautions to safeguard during a pandemic, there will be no birthday party at school. Poor Megan is sad and confused. Any thoughts? Signed, heart goes out to Megan.

Dear heart, such are our times. My heart goes out to your little girl as well. Even having an at-home birthday party is iffy. I know Megan misses special times with all of her friends. Although it is confusing for many of us, we are all in this together. We are either part of the problem or part of the solution. What a great time to teach Megan the blessing of giving to others. First, if you haven't already, give Megan the six-year-old version of what's going on, why the safeguards, and how we can all pitch in to do our parts. Be sure to active listen to her frustration and impatience and her questions about why all the fuss. Then, brainstorm creative ways to make her birthday special for her.

Do you have a capacity to Zoom online? Could she get six or eight of her friends online at the same time on Zoom? Could you even have a virtual present opening and blowing out the candles on her birthday cake? Talk with the parents of her friends to coordinate a silly birthday dance online in her honor. After the Zoom call, you could create a scavenger hunt in your home with clues for her to find each of her birthday presence in the house. Of course, make it a special family birthday party as well with all of you who share living space and maybe even invite her teacher by Zoom for a little while.

Hope these are helpful hints. Blessings, Dr. John. And here's another one. Dear Dr. Robinson, our whole world is turned upside down with this pandemic, what with masking, social distancing, handwashing, and stay-at-home requests. I've lost my job in the service industry. while my husband, thankfully, can work his job from home. Our two kids, however, ages 10 and 12, are driving us nuts.

How can we stay sane, find work, do our jobs, and homeschool our kids until in-school classes start again. Signed, going bonkers. Dear G.B., I hear you. All we can do is all we can do. I don't mean to placate you, but I feel confident you are adapting the best you can. With household income taking a hit, I imagine there's a little panic thrown. in there for good measure. Thankfully, your kids are old enough to take some responsibility for

their homeschooling. Start with a family meeting to lay out the circumstances, active list and stress, and brainstorm duties, chores, and activities. With a written plan of attack for these times, families are less likely to implode. Remember to balance self-care with other care. Me-time is essential for you and for each of your family members. Also, plan fun activities as reward for completing chores and school work. Get exercise. each day while also maintaining safeguards. Stress management ranks right up there with sleeping, eating, and interacting. Also, physical spacing and dedicated time are important to get all tasks completed daily. Use a dry race calendar if possible to allocate time and to plan ahead.

Plan something fun for the family as a whole on a weekly basis and put that on the calendar as well. When things seem hopeless, it's important to have something to look forward to. Each of the four of you needs to create personal workspace and time separate for yourselves. For example, you job hunt online at the kitchen table. Each of your kids has a schoolwork desk and computer in their bedrooms. Hubby settles into the home office to do his job remotely. Check in with each child at the beginning of their school day and help them make a plan for that day. Set the timer in the kitchen hourly to monitor their progress on their schoolwork.

In most homeschool situations, a six-hour school day can be able to make a time. be contracted into three or four hours, of course, with hourly 10-minute breaks for gaming and snacks. This kind of format will help all of you survive the circumstances and each other during these hard times. Stay in touch with your social network through Zoom or Skype, get a good physical workout daily online to sweat your stress out, and maybe a Zoom meditation or yoga class to clear your brain out. Hang in there, stay in touch. Blessings, Dr. John. If these letters stir questions of your own, contact me through my website at www.

Thereformykids.com or email me at John Robinson 0.0.0. at bell-south. I'm Dr. Jonathan C. Robinson, licensed clinical psychologist, and Christian author of Teachable Moments Building Blocks of Christian Parenting. And this has been Teachable Moments. Teachable Moments Building Blocks of Christian Parenting is available online at Amazon Bookst. and in local and national bookstores. More on Dr. Robinson at TMC-P-I-N-C.com.