Being there for your kids - How to Tell the Difference Between a Mood and Symptom

Episode Date: December 3, 2018

Moods come and go. We don't like it when our child is in a mood, but we deal with it. "This isn't like you. What else is going on here?" is a great way to start active listening her. If it's attitude or disrespect, confrontation and consequences may be in order. Symptoms, however, are more enduring and require more time and attention. The 6-8 week rule helps determine whether she is in a mood or has a symptom.

This is Teachable Moments with Dr. John Robinson. Is what you're going through a mood or a symptom? You know, we all have moods, good moods, bad moods, in between moods. We all have symptoms, fever, chills, achy. Thankfully, symptoms are rare in our lives. Moods, however, they come and go with greater frequency. While the symptoms of physical ailment are rather obvious, not so much with emotional upset. When your child becomes whiny, fearful, clingy, withdrawn, these may be signs of a mood.

or they may be signs of anxiety, depression, relational issues, or other emotional malady. What to do? How to tell the difference? In over 45 years of clinical practice with children, teens, and their families, I've come to develop the six to eight week rule. That is, if you notice these signs for less than six to eight weeks, they probably are evidence of a mood. If they persist for longer than six to eight weeks, they might be symptoms. The keys, of course, are vigilance and relationship. Hey son, I notice that you've been kind of edgy lately. Want to talk? With healthy relationship, he will want to talk with you. If not, make sure he knows that you're available when he does want to.

Active listening is your go-to response when you notice your child's emotional fever spike. Vigilance might involve tracking your child's feelings and behavior over time to notice if they persist. With persistent worry, you could guide them through changing thoughts from what if to I wonder and attaching positive outcome to the I wonder. With persistent sadness or withdrawal, you could guide your child through check-ins daily and helping them rank their days from 1 to 10 with higher numbers being better days. If the signs persist longer than 8 weeks, talk to each other and with your child about getting professional counseling.

Just as with persistent physical symptoms that might impact your child's quality of life and you would take her to a pediatrician, so too with persistent emotional symptoms you would take her to a family counselor. Mooder symptom, you have the tools to help your child. child handle it. This is Dr. John Robinson, licensed clinical psychologist and Christian author, and this has been Teachable Moments. Teachable Moments, building blocks of Christian parenting, is available online at AmazonBooks.com and in local and national bookstores. More on Dr. Robinson at TMC-P-I-N-C.com.