Being there for your kids - Kid Health Issues

Episode Date: December 9, 2021

Stuff happens. As parents, we are charged with helping our kids when stuff happens. In our first letter, mom asks about psychosomatic tummy aches her 6 year old daughter is having. Yes, psychosomatic illness is real, not "all in your head." I give her some hints for easing her daughter's pain. In our second letter, mom wants help with her middle schooler having to wear an eye patch the rest of the school year. Cognitive reframing is at tool mom can help her son use to adapt to his awkward, difficult circumstances.

Hi, I'm Dr. John Robinson, and this is Teachable Moments. I have a few more letters for you today. Here's the first one. Dear Dr. Robinson, my little eight-year-old Amy says that her tummy hurts a lot. Sometimes she's just patting it, but sometimes she's doubled over in pain. We've taken her to her pediatrician, and she ran all the right tests. All came back negative. She's our oldest child. She has brothers ages three and six months. She loves being their big sister. The doctor thinks Amy's tummy aches might be psychosomatic. What's that? Does that mean she's faking these pains just to get attention? Signed, perplexed.

Dear perplexed, I'm so sorry that Amy and all of you are going through all of this right now. It's got to be puzzling at the least, but also maybe a bit terrifying. Seeing Amy have these tummy aches and not having infection allergy, something, anything that seems to be causing them. But wait, you do have a cause for her pain. Psychosomatic illness is still an issue. illness. A medical illness has medical causes. A psychological illness has psychological causes. They are every bit as real as medical causes. They just come in a different part of Amy's body. She's not faking anything for attention or for any other reason. If her pediatrician had found

a medical cause for her pain, the pain sensation from her tummy would have been signaling to her brain that there was an infection. Psychosomatic illness gets bad pressed because people assume that is, quote, all in your head. Body pain of any sort of. is an alarm system, alerting you that body defenses, the immune system, are under attack. Actually, it's a blessing that Amy has no medical infection. Her thoughts and feelings are confusing to her right now, and it is taking the form of tummy aches. You and her daddy are the very people to help her unconfuse her thoughts and feelings. For doubling over pain, use a heating pad and have her take deep breaths until she feels some relief. Also, use the 1 to 10 pain scale

and help her notice when the pain is less, that is lower numbers. For mild tummy aches, make a practice of talking with her about her day. Use active listening to say what you think she's feeling. If you're right, she'll agree. If you're wrong, she will tell you what she is feeling. As your family has added a new member recently, give Amy, quote, big girl status without necessarily loading her up with extra responsibilities. Also, perplexed, make a point of having, quote, just us girls' time,

at least once a week, with daddy taking care of the little ones. These things will, over time, really help unconfuse her thoughts and feelings. Tummy aches will soon become a thing of the past. Blessings, Dr. John. Here's another letter. Dear Dr. Robinson, my seventh grader, Adam, just had eye surgery and has to wear a patch over his right eye. He was going to try out for middle school baseball, but the patch will be on all season. He's in his room right now, and he says he's not coming out, quote,

this dumb old patch on my eye. He understands the need for the patch, but seems embarrassed and fears people will make fun of him. Ideas? Signed, Arr. Dear, Arr. Your signature tells me you have a sense of perspective and humor on the matter. Not to tease or make light of Adam's feelings, but humor and perspective do have healing qualities. I took my granddaughters to the movie Wonder a while ago. Aubrey's classroom teacher had read the book to her class. The story followed a family where the son had facial disfiguration from birth. He actually got through his embarrassment and fears by drawing attention to the obvious

and being the kid with facial disfigurement. At times, he made jokes at his own expense. He lifted the mood around him, and, as movies go, all worked out in the end. Now, Adam's eye patch is temporary, but he might like a good read. Also, encourage him to help out with middle school baseball, even though he won't be playing this year.

Give him a wall calendar for his bedroom, to count the days until the Patch's history. Help him create a tongue-in-cheek narrative about being kidnapped by pirates, sailing the seven seas, and barely escaping with his life by swimming away after he was forced to walk the plank, L.O.L. These measures will help him have control over his circumstances, rather than letting his circumstances have control over him. Hang in there. Blessings, Dr. John.

If these letters stir questions of your own, contact me through my website at www.org.org.org.com. or email me at John Robinson 0.0 at bell south.net. I'm Dr. Jonathan C. Robinson, licensed clinical psychologist, and author of Teachable Moments, Building Blocks of Christian Parenting. And this has been Teachable Moments. Teachable Moments, Building Blocks of Christian Parenting, is available online at AmazonBooks.com and in local and national bookstores.

More on Dr. Robinson at TMP-I-N-C.com.