Being there for your kids - Kids Will Help Each Other Grow

Episode Date: June 11, 2019

If you are not parenting an only child, then you contend with sibling rivalry. That doesn't have to be a bad thing. Younger children tend to look up to their older siblings and want to be just like them. Help you older children be good role models for the younger ones. Siblings close in age tend to grow up together. If there are 3 years or more between the siblings, they tend to have separate peer groups. Siblings may fight likes cats and dogs together, but let someone else pick on one of them and they stick together. They also always want to know which one of them you love better. Don't fall for that. In fact, you love each for the unique qualities each brings to the family and to the world.

Hi, I'm Dr. John Robinson, and this is Teachable Moments. If there is more than one child in your family, then you have to deal with sibling rivalry. Ugg! Sibling rivalry sounds like such a bad term. What good can come from sibling rivalry? Well, actually lots. While there are some famous accounts of bad sibling rivalry, think Cain and Abel from the Bible, siblings are the second most influential and important people in our lives. At 12 months, Joy was enjoying being breastfed by mama. While feeding, however, he noticed older brother Andy scampering across the room toward them. Andy came over and tickled his younger brother, who interrupted his lunch to squeal and delight. Later, while scooting on his hands and knees in pursuit of Andy,

Joey stopped next to the couch, pulled himself up, and tentatively let go of the couch. With wobbly legs, he fought to balance himself and took several steps toward his brother before lowering himself back to the ground. Both his brother and mother clapped and gave him words of encouragement, Joey beamed after taking his first tentative steps with much more to come. Every parent revels with delight as their child takes their first steps. Those steps, however, might have been delayed for a while had Joey not felt a certain jealousy and sibling rivalry toward older brother Andy. Andy was his role model, and both Andy and Mama were his cheerleaders.

The combination of role model and encouragement led to Joey's momentous first steps. Of course, children without older siblings learned to walk as well, but usually, a little bit later without the peer role model. Sibling rivalries have a me, you, us quality to them. As parents, we want to encourage our children's individuality, parenting them accordingly. Developmental differences come into play as well. Usually when parents have children who are less than two years apart, they are parented jointly and grow up as playmates.

When the children are over three years apart, they often have different developmental needs. To avoid negative sibling rivalry, it's important to encourage the older child to be helpful with the younger one. Children born in the no man's land of two to three years apart can have more contentious sibling rivalry. Because of sibling rivalry, younger children tend to reach milestones sooner than their older sibs did. Active listening, encouragement, and presenting options can promote positive sibling rivalry. I'm Dr. Jonathan C. Robinson, licensed clinical psychologist and Christian author, and this has been Teachable Moments. Teachable Moments, Building Blocks of Christian Parenting,

is available online at amazonbooks.com and in local and national bookstores more on dr robinson at t m c pinc.com