Being there for your kids - Me Time? Wait, Is That Allowed?

Episode Date: May 22, 2019

Not only is "me time" allowed. It is essential for you to be at your best as mom and dad. In Matthew 22:36, Jesus calls us to "Love one another as you love yourself." It's hard to give your all to healthy parenting if you don't take care of yourself. This is not an either/or. It's a both/and. Consider the Pyramid Effect. First, God is above the pyramid on which you perch. As your relationship with God is healthy and loving, you have resources to love your spouse. As your marriage is loving and healthy, you have resources to love your children, and so on. Set these priorities. Also, delegate and set boundaries through family meetings, to make sure you set time and opportunity aside for yourself, to recharge your batteries for taking care of your family. "Me time" is both allowed and essential. Not selfish, but self-caring.

Hi, I'm Dr. John Robinson, and this is Teachable Moments. Let's talk about MeTime. Uh, what's that? Your phone is ringing, the baby is crying, your toddler's just spilled his juice all over the floor. The clothes dryer is buzzing, and you haven't even put up the clean clothes from last night. Is your head exploding yet? Mine is. Feeling overwhelmed can be a normal, common state for well-intentioned parents. People tell me things like, my parents were never there for me, so I'm going to put my all into being the best parent. ever. My mom and dad sacrificed everything for us kids. That's just what parents do. The Bible teaches me to be submissive to my husband and a servant to my kids, so that's what I'm doing. Wow, I've actually had parents say these kinds of things to me. Again, well-intentioned, but a setup

for feeling perpetually overwhelmed. So, Mom and Dad, how can you get back on steady course for the right reasons? First, recognize and use the pyramid of family relations. You are at the top of your pyramid. Above your pyramid is God. If you're not right with God, your relations with your spouse and family will be full of issues. Some parents build a prayer closet, literally, for time with the Lord. Others set aside 15 minutes per day for personal devotions. Jesus said, I will never leave you nor forsake you. Take him at his word. Second, as you take time for yourself, you make time for your spouse. Jesus also said love one another as you love yourself. Self care makes quality of the care possible. Healthy diet, sufficient sleep, exercise, all facilitate healthy interaction with

your spouse. Setting aside couple devotional time as well sets the tone. Further down the pyramid are your children, extended family, and friends. Third, the keys to multitasking and balancing self-care with other care are prioritizing, delegating, and setting healthy boundaries. In assessing the tasks, hand your toddler paper towels to clean up his mess as you go to the baby to soothe her tears. These are the immediate priorities. You don't have to answer your phone until you have the time. Your phone stores the call and it will be there when you're not so frantic. If the buzzer on your dryer loops to recur intermittently, take a moment to shut it off after you settle the baby. Help your toddler clean up his mess telling him what a big boy he is for getting started without you.

With immediate crises averted, sit down and take a breath. Life will go on. God is good and so are you. Later, with your spouse in a family meeting, you can set healthy boundaries by compiling lists of house rules and individual chores. Delegate chores to children consistent with their ages, put everybody pitches in. Build me time into your schedule. If you wait for a good time to take care of yourself, it will never happen. I'm Dr. Jonathan C. Robinson, licensed clinical psychologist and Christian author of Teachable Moments, Building Blocks of Christian Parenting, and this has been Teachable Moments. Teachable Moments, Building Blocks of Christian Parenting is available online at AmazonBooks.com and in local and national bookstores.

More on Dr. Robinson at TMC-P-I-N-C.com.