Being there for your kids - ;Mile Markers for Effective Therapy

Episode Date: March 20, 2025

In effective therapy, there are 4 stages. As you go on your healing journey, these mile markers will guide you. Check them out. Blessings, Jon

Hi, I'm Dr. John Robinson, and this is Teachable Moments. Let me talk to you about therapy stages on your healing journey. Getting into therapy is a big, big step. First, you are acknowledging that your life, or a piece of your life, has gone sideways. Second, you want to change things, how you feel, what you do. Third, you conclude that you are worth the effort. Great for you. There are four stages of your healing journey in therapy.

Having your first therapy appointment is actually the beginning of the second stage of therapy. In the beginning, we are all at the stage of unconscious ignorance. What that means is we don't know and we don't know that we don't know. We're just trolling along with our life, not realizing the issues that impair our journey. Our stuckness has been who we are for so long that we don't realize we are stuck in unhealthy habits. If issues come up in our lives, we simply dismiss them as indicating, that's just who I am. am. Addressing issues and changing thoughts, feelings, and behavior are not even considered. Why should I? There's nothing wrong with me. However, eventually a precipitating event comes along.

Rather than initially being a big deal, usually it's more like a series of events that begin to nudge you out of your comfort zone. Rarely does anyone have a eureka a moment where they say, aha, I have issues. I want to start therapy. Most often, someone you love or someone who is close to you notices. Are you all right? This isn't like you. What's wrong? When stuckness is brought to light, we naturally try to correct the circumstances ourselves and with loved ones. False starts and good intentions follow. Somewhere in the meanderings of recognizing stuckness and trying to make positive changes, we begin the stage of conscious ignorance. Here, we know that there's a problem, have tried to work on it, and yet the problem continues. We are aware, but we don't know what to do about

it. With encouragement from well-intentioned loved ones who want you to get over yourself, the first therapy appointment is usually made. With patience, after introductions and settling into my office, I ask, how can I help? Often, a reluctant patient responds, well, my wife thinks I need therapy. With that, I think, okay, here we go. Sometimes people are more attuned and start, well, we just got our daughter off to college, and I miss her already. I'm not handling it well. Much of the therapy process is a healing journey from conscious ignorance to conscious awareness, the third stage of therapy. With mental and psychotherapy, what we call MPT, we help patients move from why questions to what

questions, focusing on that over which they have control. Mindfulness helps them stay present and observational, while positive psychology helps them move away from being reactive and toward being proactive with their lives, focusing on what works for them. Cognitive behavioral therapy strategies help pace embrace boundaries and functionality. The final and fourth stage of therapy is when your brain kicks into high gear. Having practiced new thoughts and behaviors with your therapist in session, and having carried them home to engage family and friends differently, your brain has all the while begun developing new neural pathways. In therapy, you are moving from conscious awareness of your actions

to unconscious awareness. You find yourself soaring away from stuckness in time and with consistency. Your brain uses its neurogenetic abilities to create new neuropathways for healthier response patterns. Instead of intentionally making changes, you are changing without even thinking about it. You embrace the new you. These four stages of therapy are markers on your healing journey. You will still have bumps in the road, but now you have skills to address them in

healthier ways. Soaring through life works great. Blessings, Dr. John. If these comments stir questions of your own, contact me through my website at www.org, thereformykids.com, or email me at John Robinson 0.0.000 at bell south.net. I'm Dr. Jonathan C. Robinson, licensed clinical psychologist, and Christian author of Teachable Moments, Building Blocks of Christian Parenting, and my new book, The Healing, the healing journey overcoming adversity on the path to the good life. And this has been Teachable Moments.