Being there for your kids - Mission Accomplished, Teen to Adult

Episode Date: May 12, 2019

A space launch is a great metaphor for shepherding your teen into adulthood. The journey begins at birth, and you will always be his mom and dad, but letting go helps your teen launch into adulthood. You and extended family are part of his launch crew. The lessons you have shared with him along the way, the teachable moments, are all part of his training for mission. As he leaves Earth's atmosphere (your home) and ventures into outer space (the real world), he will have occasional mid-course corrections to reach his target destination. This is where your wise counsel guides him. It's his life now, so be careful not to give advice, but rather to ask for permission to share your perspective. This is your consultative stage of parenting. As you beam with pride for the young person your teen has become, it's mission accomplished.

Hi, I'm Dr. John Robinson, and this is Teachable Moments. Let me take you on a ride, a space launch, to be exact. Ever been on one? I didn't think so, as there have only been about 100 or so American astronauts. This space launch is a metaphor for how your teens become adults. As shown in the recent movie Hidden Figures, and more fully in the past movie, Apollo 13, it takes a team for any space launch to be successful. There are a whole bunch of people at ground control.

For the United States, that's Houston, Texas. Remember the famous line from Apollo 13? Houston, we have a problem. Also, these launches take years, decades of preparation, with new technology always adding to the mix. And astronauts are groomed, prepared, and meet certain criteria of stamina and expertise, even to get it into the astronaut training program.

No space launch is exactly perfect, so the spaceship trajectory is adjusted mid-course corrections by the ship's pilot in consultation with ground control. I know you see where I'm going with this. As we prepare to launch our teens from adolescence to adulthood, we see the parallels to manned space flights. We, the parents, are their primary ground control, although we ask extended family and experts to give us help and counsel. When did ground control start its work? When your son or daughter was born. Their entire life is a preparation for launch. Finally, the day arrives. Your child fills their car with their stuff and is off to college or work with a different place to live.

Suppose he gets lost. He talks to Siri. or consults his GPS app on his phone. Suppose he runs shorter funds. He goes to his local ATM, or more likely he calls you for a, quote, loan, end quote. There are mid-course corrections of his spaceflight, for which he is primarily responsible, but not without your wise counsel. As he continues his space journey of exploration, are you hawking over him, ready to advise or protect? No.

Advice-based parenting was appropriate in his teen years. When he becomes an adult, you switch to consultative parenting. I have some thoughts about what you're going through, son. do you want to hear them? And then you wait for him to give you permission. What about Sunday dinners back home with you? Mission to ground control. We have successful space launch to adulthood. I'm Dr. Jonathan C. Robinson, licensed clinical psychologist and Christian author, and this has been Teachable Moments. Teachable Moments, building blocks of Christian parenting is available online at AmazonBooks.com and in local and national bookstores. More on Dr. Robinson at TMC-P-I-N-C.com.

Thank you.