Being there for your kids - Moving from Being Stuck to Soaring

Episode Date: November 7, 2025

Being a one and done thinker is the origin of your stuckness. As you become more curious, you challenge your stuckness and open the door to being more resilient. More options equal more opportunities to embrace you healing journey. This is your path from being stuck to soaring. Blessing, Dr. Jon

I'm Dr. John Robinson, and this is Teachable Moments. Let me ask you, are you a one-and-done thinker? Don't bother me with the facts and options. My mind is made up, Stan concluded, ending our discussion. If you identify with Stan, then you embrace a one-and-done mentality. Such a mindset cuts off any possibility of nurturing a sense of resilience when adversity comes your way. Last week, I introduced the first path on your healing journey, that of moving away from focusing on what's wrong with your circumstances and moving toward embracing what's right.

Your symptoms identify what's wrong in your life. Your process toward upward spiraling identifies what's right. This week I will introduce the second path, that of moving away from a one-and-done mentality and toward expanding resilience in your thinking. Stan is stuck in a one-and-done mentality, that is, don't confuse him with the facts. He's made up his mind. There's no sense of resilience. No considering other options. Considering other options would expose Stan to the possibility of his being wrong, and that just can't happen. A one-and-done mentality is the very definition of being stuck. Not being open to other options generates a downward spiral.

Stan had reluctantly sought therapy with me at the goading of his wife. When I asked him to describe his presenting problem, he implied social anxiety. You see, Doc, I'm just a homebody. I work my shift, come home, grab a beer, and sit down to relax. That's your comfort zone, huh? Yep. Now, Cindy, she's my wife. She's a go-getter.

She's into everything and in everybody's business. Me, I've got my tools, my work, and then my recliner. That's all I need, Stan concluded. Stan and Cindy had been married for 23 years. Their son and daughter were gone now, and with their being just them, things were different. So, things have changed for you and Cindy. and it's been tough getting used to your new reality. I can help with that.

I explain the concept of resilience to stand, giving him a few examples. It's not about giving up what you're comfortable with, rather it's about expanding your comfort zone gradually. Let new thoughts and feelings come to you, kind of wash over you, and gradually expand your comfort zone without giving up who you are. I don't want you to change.

Just think about being curious. With mental and psychotherapy, that is MPT, I helped Stan develop a sense of mindfulness to avoid one and done thinking by staying in the now. I helped him move from what's wrong to what's right in his life by incorporating elements of positive psychology in his thinking. I challenged his stuckness with cognitive behavioral strategies like successive approximation to increase his comfort level in social situations. In my new book, The Healing Journey, Overcoming Adversity on the Path of the Good Life, I share other examples and conversations that identify one-and-done thinking as a source of our adversity. Developing resilience frees you from your constrictive thinking and sets you on your healing

journey to the good life. Check out my new book at amazonbooks.com. Blessings, Dr. John. If my comments stir questions of your own, contact me through my website at www. Thereformykids.com or email me at John Robinson,000 at bell south.net. I'm Dr. Jonathan, Robinson licensed clinical psychologist and author of Teachable Moments Building Blocks of Christian Parenting and my new book, The Healing Journey, Overcoming Adversity on the Path of the Good Life. Blessings. Teachable Moments, Building Blocks of Christian Parenting is available online at Amazonbooks.com and in local and national bookstores.

More on Dr. Robinson at TMC-P-I-N-C.com.