Being there for your kids - My Place or Yours?

Episode Date: April 24, 2026

This is a pivotal question in a growing relationship. Kinda taking it all to the next level. Taking time to talk through such questions with your partner and your therapist gives you a leg up on getting it all right. Begin following Hayley and Jamie's healing journey and learn the 4 stages of the healing process by listening to this podcast. The "rest of the story" is in my new book, The Healing Journey: Overcoming Adversity on the Path to the Good Life. Go to amazonbooks.com to buy your copy. Follow this link: https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Journey.../dp/B0CY9PQXMZ Blessings, Dr. Jon

I'm Dr. John Robinson, and this is Teachable Moments. Have you ever been asked the question, My Place or Yours? Haley and Jamie met at school. They were in the same class and bumped into each other exiting the doorway. Siverously, Jamie let Hayley go first. Each was a college senior, and they dated for six months before they slept together. They entered that fateful portal when Haley posed a question, My Place Are Yours?

In my last podcast, I asked the question about when the right, time is to start psychotherapy. I introduced the four stages of psychotherapy and dove into the first two stages. Before therapy begins, we are in the stage of unconscious ignorance. We don't know that there is a problem, and we don't know that we don't know. Usually, after a precipitating event, we research the kind of therapy we think we need, and then we find a suitable therapist and take the plunge. As we get our footing in clinical treatment, we move from unconscious ignorance to conscious ignorance. That is, now we know there is a problem, but we don't know what to do about it. The hard lifting of therapy is moving from conscious ignorance to the third stage of therapy,

that of conscious awareness. Haley and Jamie came into my clinical care after being together for a year. They had graduated from college, gotten jobs, and moved to their new home in a different state. There were no deal breakers, but just some bumps in the road that were piling up. They were also talking about getting married somewhere down the road. As they accepted, me as their guide on their healing journey. I explained the tools of mental and psychotherapy, that is MPT, that would be helpful to them. They settled in and Jamie opened up, this is just typical. He sounded exasperated, a theme in their marriage. We had agreed that whoever got home first would start dinner. Nope, not last night. Haley chimed in. You don't remember

my calling you at work today and offering to take us out to dinner? Turning to me. You see, Doc, He never listens to me and then blames me for everything. I put my hands up in a stop gesture. Both of you, breathe, get centered. You really want to hear and be heard today. Each sat back in their chairs and complied. As the session continued, I reminded them of how they practiced active listening the last session. Jamie chimed in,

Yeah, you tagged us about preparing to talk rather than actually listening for each other's feelings. I turned to Haley. I appreciate you're bringing up your frustration. about Jamie forgetting your going out to dinner option. But if you want him to hear you, be careful to avoid absolutes. What were they again? Haley replayed her words in her mind, sighed, and then answered, Um, never and everything?

Okay, I got it. I smiled and encouraged her to modulate her extreme off-putting adjectives. The stage of conscious awareness involves learning and practicing in therapy, parts of the healing journey that will become automatic over time. Stage four, that of unconscious awareness, is the goal. Follow Haley and Jamie's progress in my new book, The Healing Journey, Overcoming Adversity on the Path of the Good Life. Buy your copy at Amazonbooks.com. If my comments stir questions of your own, contact me through my website at www.org, thereformykids.com,

or email me at John Robinson 0.0.Belsouth.net. I'm Dr. Jonathan C. Robinson, licensed clinical psychologist, and author of Teachable Moments, building blocks of Christian parenting, and my new book, The Healing, Journey, Overcoming Adversity on the Path to the Good Life. Blessings. Teachable Moments, Building Blocks of Christian Parenting, is available online at AmazonBooks.com and in local and national bookstores. More on Dr. Robinson at TMC-P-I-N-C.com.