Being there for your kids - Not too hard, not too soft, but connected, just right parenting

Episode Date: October 5, 2018

Do we want power or relationship with our kids? When you come off as dominant, my way or the highway, you parent by fear, not by relationship. When you are too submissive and buddy buddy, you do so much for your child that they never learn how to do for themselves. As a benevolent despot, you have the earned authority of relationship, without having to use raw power, you direct the family according to everyone's needs and feelings, and you teach your children how to do for themselves.

This is Teachable Moments. I'm Dr. John Robinson. Are you a benevolent despot? What is that? As parents, we are the leaders of our homes. The dominant parent gets things done by fear, control, and manipulation. Because I said so is the only reason this parent knows. They barrel through their family getting their way and use anger to make others conform to their expectations. The submissive parent gets things done by doing it all themselves. Please like me and be my friend is their mantra. They are tidying, putting everything in his place, and asking, what can I do for you? Ad nauseum. Children end up feeling entitled without consequence. The better question is, who's in charge?

As a benevolent despot, you are both the strong leader of your family and you exercise servanthood parenting. As a despot, the buck stops with you. You make decisions, you direct, you delegate. Your leadership is welcome because of your benevolence. You listen. You understand needs and feelings. you encourage, you include. House rules and chore lists are not demanded.

That's what a dominant parent would do. You don't do at all. That's what a submissive parent would do. As a benevolent despot, you call family meetings and direct a cooperative effort. You understand and serve their needs and their feelings. Grow your children up in the ways of the Lord so that when they are old, they will not depart from him. Be a benevolent despot in your home. I'm Dr. John Robinson, licensed clinical psychologist and Christian parenting author,

and this has been Teachable Moments. Teachable Moments, building blocks of Christian parenting, is available online at AmazonBooks.com and in local and national bookstores. More on Dr. Robinson at TMP-I-N-C.com.