Being there for your kids - Own and Use Your Superpower!

Episode Date: May 27, 2023

Every parent has a superpower, but often it goes unused. When things are great at home, at work, with your kids, well, life doesn't get much better than that. When things are not so great, that's the time to invoke your superpower. Resilience is your superpower. In this column, I explain all the facets of resilience and give an example of mom using resilience to recapture equilibrium. Check it out.

Hi, I'm Dr. John Robinson, and this is Teachable Moments. I have a question for you today. Do you have a superpower? Most parents do the best they can with what they've got. You make it through the day. You do what has to be done. You tend. That's tend to your kids, tend to your spouse, tend to your job, tend to your boss and co-workers, maybe even tend to your garden on that slip of side yard out back. It's a fulfilling life. You sleep well. Your needs are mostly met. You are pleased with your yourself, but what if the best you can do does not meet the challenges of the day? Your efforts fall short. There's just too much to get done and too little time to do it. Time to invoke your superpower. Mandy was driving home from work thinking about her day. She was exhausted bailing out her

boss, letting her co-worker cry on her shoulder of lunch with her boyfriend drama, trying to settle herself before getting home. When she got to the Citrus house, Dylan was not ready to come home. He threw his five-year-old fit to stay and play, even though all the other children had been picked up. He enjoyed having the sitter's undivided attention. Mandy used her active listening to calm his feelings and then packed him into the car. She wondered as she drove home whether Steve had started supper in her absence since he was home by now. With the TV blaring as Steve watched the news and 13-year-old Jenna buried in her iPhone trolling social media as Mandy came in the door, she knew her answer was a resounding,

No. She calmly put her briefcase down on the hall table, took a deep breath, and told Dylan to go pick up his toys in his bedroom, and replaced them in the toy box before supper. She then went into the den, removed Jenna's earbuds, and clicked off the TV. Both Steve and Jenna protested. But Mandy simply put her hands up and said, stop, my turn. Mom, what the heck? Jenna squeaked. Honey, are you okay? Steve puzzled. I'm for you. fine, but we're not. She concluded as she swept her arms in front of her to capture the chaos of her home. Let's get it together so we can enjoy our evening. She followed with her instructions. Steve, you need to put a load of wash in before supper if you want us to have quality time later. Jenna, you can make a salad while I get the rest of the meal together. I'll tell Dylan to set the

table after he finishes getting up the toys in his room. Mandy and Jenna talked about their days, how they managed the stressful parts, what they made them feel happy and fulfilled, even if it was just a tiny detail. Mandy checked on Dylan's job, praising him for pitching in with setting the table. Steve came back from getting a load of wash in and asked what else he could do to lighten his wife's load. After dinner, the evening went well. All could have been much worse if Mandy hadn't invoked her superpower. What's that? In that deep, cleansing breath, she drew after sizing up the disorder in her home.

home, Mandy demonstrate her resilience. As parents in these types of situations, resilience is your superpower. When you are resilient, you don't let the multitude of details overwhelm you. You focus on the now and one thing at a time. You delegate when you can. You prioritize. You make time for yourself as well as for others. You state your feelings and your needs. You direct others in their helpful activities. You heat praise on others as they lighten your load. When adversity is striking, you, you reframe even the worst as a blessing in disguise and then regroup. You ask for and get help you need both behaviorly and with your feelings. You nurture yourself and others. You take whatever time it requires to get it all done. Defer what can be left for another time and then relax and feel

accomplished. If this is new to you, let others and your family know that you are trying to get on top of things and that you will need their help. That way when you are using your superpower, it won't be a total surprise to them. I'm Dr. Jonathan C. Robinson, licensed clinical psychologist and Christian author of Teachable Moments, Building Blocks of Christian Parenting. And this has been Teachable Moments.