Being there for your kids - Planning for Summer Activities

Episode Date: May 13, 2023

Home stretching the school year. Time to get summer plans started. In the first letter, mom frets over summer expenses, kids' activities, and not getting enough me-time. Planning ahead and delegating, with accountability, works wonders. In the second letter, mom is all over an upcoming residential move ruining summer fun activities. I encourage planning for both/and, rather than either/or. Families can both get the packing/moving/unpacking successfully done and also make time for fun during planned breaks.

Hi, I'm Dr. John Robinson, and this is Teachable Moments. I have a few more letters for you as we head into the summer season. Here's the first one. Dear Dr. Robinson, last summer was a chaotic nightmare. My kids started with no more school, no more books, no more teachers, dirty looks, and they ran amok all summer. Kids look forward to summer break, while parents, moms in particular, dread it. The child care adds more expense to our budget, having to account for our 10- and 12-year-old boys all day, letting them have more fun but still help out. Keeping up with school expectations, it's all overwhelming. Help, signed, Mama Dreads Summer. Dear Mama Dreads, my heart goes out to you, MD. You know you should be excited for your kids and their summer freedom, but you just see more work for yourself. Guess what? You're not alone. For families fortunate enough to have resources, studies show that

summertime off from school can be very expensive. Add two-week summer camp per child, family vacation, extra meals and food at home, extra gas for multiple runaround trips, and summer is expensive time off for family budgets. For families living on a shoestring, it's about trusting our kids to local transit, arranging daycare, sign-ups for YMCA and other recreational programming, and teaching our kids the safeties and responsibilities of being latchkey. I don't know your circumstances, but consider these things. First, start with a preemptive family meeting where you lay out concerns and options. Get feedback from your kids, spouse, and any extended family available.

Write down options for consideration where possible delegate follow-up according to who benefits from the options. Second, list your expectations for each child. Make him post-do lists for chores, create opportunities for your children to earn extra money for extra projects. Post recreational activities as well on your family planning calendar, you have one of those, right? Engage help from available extended family, such as grandparents, where possible, with ample gratitude. Third, keep your child busy with chores, jobs, as well as with fun activities. Find freebies where available and age appropriate, such as various church vacation Bible schools, free programming at your local library, and club and service options such as

scouting, church children, and youth groups. Be creative and include your children in exploring these and other options. Finally, try to keep your child from withdrawing to their bedroom or couch for extensive gaming and other online pursuits. Electronics should be limited to two hours a day and balanced with two hours a day of pleasure reading. When you get home from work, take at least a half hour of time with each child to debrief about their day and plan for tomorrow. These and other ideas will help you feel more productive, confident, and relaxed so that you can enjoy your summer as well. Blessings, Dr. John. Here's another letter. Dear Dr. Robinson, my husband got a new job in another state early this spring. It's great for him and his career advancement and more money for us. He moved

there in late March, but we decided to let our three children, ages 8, 11, and 15, finish their school years here. We've bought a home in our new location, and the kids and I have spent several weekends with their dad there. School is now coming to a close. Our summer vacation will not be very fun or relaxing because we're moving. Got any ideas? Signed, Frantic. Dear Frantic, congratulations on your husband climbing the corporate ladder. There will be benefits in the long run, but of course you all need to deal with the transition in the short run. Good for you for finding a new home and getting in some weekends at your new digs before making the big move. The familiarity will lessen some of the grieving in transition.

And yes, this kind of move involves actual grieving, feeling sad about what you are losing in a familiar school, friends, and neighborhood, not knowing just how things will work out in a new place. Some anger and resentment about having no choice over the move. Lots of worry about making new friends and getting used to new surroundings. Making time for each child to dump their feelings on you is important. Don't take it personally. It's part of the transition process.

This is where active listening is your best friend. Help them understand what they are feeling without judgment, without giving solutions, and without minimizing what they're feeling. As you see, their emotional fever coming down, enlist them in the moving process. Assign age-appropriate duties with your oversight and give them praises as they help you out. When your moving van arrives, decide which one of you will supervise the offloading. The other of you gets to take the kids exploring their new surroundings. Find the schools, the parks, the recreational sports sites, the movie theaters, the playgrounds.

If your new neighborhood has a community center with pool, take time to go for a swim and let your kids mingle with their new peers under your watchful eye. Of course, eventually come home with pizza and drinks for dinner as a family. Assign your children to unbox their respective bedrooms while you folks tackle your bedroom and the common areas. Expect a week or two before everything is in place. Don't overdo the unpacking. Use a variation of an eight-hour workday with start and stop times, but spend the evenings doing something fun either as a family or with new peer groups. This will be an atypical summer for you,

but all of you are laying the groundwork for a smooth transition to your new location. Good luck. Blessings, Dr. John. If these letters stir questions of your own, contact me through my website at www. Thereformykidst.com or email me at john Robinson,000 at bell-south.net. I'm Dr. Jonathan C. Robinson, licensed clinical psychologist, and Christian author of Teachable Moments Building Blocks of Christian Parenting, and this has been Teachable Numance.

Teachable Moments, Building Blocks of Christian Parenting is available online at AmazonBooks.com and in local and national bookstores. More on Dr. Robinson at TMC-P-I-N-C.com.