Being there for your kids - Power Dude, Doormat, or Servant?

Episode Date: April 18, 2019

Parents come in all types. Some of us are power dudes. My way or the highway. You get results, but our of fear, not relationship. Other parents treat their children like cut crystal. Don't set boundaries or challenge them, or they will break into tiny pieces. Such a doormat parent yields entitled children who grow up not being able to do for themselves. Servant parents seek to understand their child's needs and feelings with active listening and, with permission, helps them grow in the ways of the Lord. Servant parents encourage individuality, but with respect for others, and community, to help build healthy relationships. If you have the choice of being the power dude, doormat, or servant, choose servant.

Hi, this is Teachable Moments, and I'm Dr. John Robinson. You know, parenting comes in all shades, and my question today, are you a doormat or a servant parent? As we all know, kids come in all shapes and sizes. You know what else? So do parents. Some parents choose to be the power-oriented, in-control kind of guy. These folks parent by fear and have only a fear-based relationship with their children. My Way or the Highway is their theme. Others go to the opposite extreme and become a doormat to their children. Yes, dear, whatever you want.

They fear that confronting their child or setting healthy boundaries will stunt their emotional growth and lower their self-esteem. Such well-intentioned parents will put their child in t-ball where runs scored or not kept because, quote, we want them all to be winners. Fortunately, Jesus gave us another option, providing a third role model for effective parenting. Before the Last Supper, he removed his outer robe and got a bowl and washed cloth, and he washed the feet of his disciples. This lowly but loving act of service is our example of. of being a servant parent. What? Let's be clear. This is not submission. It is servanthood. Jesus followed this action with his teachings about the first being last and the greatest being the least. Being a servant, parent involves understanding your child's needs and feelings

and being supportive while helping tend to them. 15-year-old Chip stomped into his father's den early one morning where dad was paying bills. Dad, this shirt's dirty and I want to wear it today. Dad stopped his work and while getting up responded, okay, son, let me wash him. it right away for you. While thinking he was being helpful, dad was being a doormat with no teachable moment in sight. Eight-year-old Tommy is doing his homework in his room. His mom checks on him and offers, I've got some time, son. If you put your vocabulary words on flashcards, I'll quiz you when you're finished. Classic servant parenting. Being helpful and available, sharing the load, and ripe for a teachable moment. Which are you? Power dude, dormant, or servant parent. I'm Dr. John

Robinson, licensed clinical psychologist and Christian parenting author, and this has been Teachable Moments. Teachable Moments, Building Blocks of Christian Parenting, is available online at AmazonBooks.com and in local and national bookstores. More on Dr. Robinson at TMC-P-I-N-C.com.