Being there for your kids - Relationship, the 4th R of homeschooling

Episode Date: June 7, 2020

What kind of home school teacher are you? It's tough bouncing back and forth between being parent and teacher to our child.How do you navigate that? It is critical in this context to embrace the 4th R of schooling. The original 3Rs are reading, 'riting, and 'rithmetic. Most important, however, and the best context within which to teach the first 3Rs is the 4th R, relationship. Of course, as the parent, you are constantly aware of building your relationship with your child. As home schooling parent, you want to come from a position of earned authority for your new role. By understanding your child's school needs, wants, and feelings, you can better craft a learning experience for him. Therein lie multiple academic and life-based teachable moments.

Hi, I'm Dr. John Robinson, and this is Teachable Moments. Recently, I posted my top 10 tips for homeschooling success, whether it's just helping with homework or being a full-time homeschool teacher. Now I'm elaborating on each item on the list. Parenting tip number five is this. Relationship is the fourth R of schooling. So, back in the day, we used to talk about the three R's of schooling. They were reading, writing, and arithmetic.

Okay, not so good on spelling, but very little. I want to highlight for parents of homeschoolers and online learners and homework helpers what I call the fourth R of schooling, that is relationship. Teachers know that without relationship with students in their classes, they have potential for chaos. Now, authority gets more press, but relationship makes it work. Newbies to the teaching profession are encouraged to start harder and get softer. This sets the example for consequence and encourages focused learning. I suggest that relationship between teacher and student determines the kind of authority given.

One kind of authority is acquired authority. This kind comes with the territory. She's your teacher, therefore she's in charge and can do whatever she wants. This often leads to either a too hard or too soft teaching environment. The other kind of authority is earned authority. Here you make effort to know your students,

their needs, wants, and feelings. Each of you becomes a real person to the other. Students then follow your direction because you make an effort to relate to them. They understand the whys of your teaching and accept you as wise in your teaching. They want what you have for them. Now, with earned authority, you still maintain order, organization, and discipline. You just use your active listening and joint problem solving to get there rather than barking orders at them. Of course, as the parent, being the hands-on teacher to your homeschooler, online learner, and homeworker is tricky because of your dual-releasoned.

relationship with the child. Can you be both mother and teacher to him? If you have a quality relationship and mutual understanding, the answer is a reason. So, there are not only three, but four R's to schooling, both for classroom instruction, and also for parents of homeschoolers, online learners, and homeworkers. The four RRs are reading, writing, arithmetic, and relationship. Focus on all four to maximize your experience with your child and their benefit from your efforts. I'm Dr. Jonathan C. Robinson licensed clinical psychologist and Christian author of the book, Teachable Moments, Building Blocks of Christian Parenting.

And this has been Teachable Moments. Teachable Moments, Building Blocks of Christian Parenting, is available online at AmazonBooks.com and in local and national bookstores. More on Dr. Robinson at TMC-P-I-N-C.com.