Being there for your kids - Stress & Wellness Checks

Episode Date: December 1, 2021

My letters this week are preventive in nature. One mom wonders if her son's behavior is symptomatic or normal. I talk about distress and eustress, and how stress is normal. The six-week rule is good to go by. If your concerns last longer than six weeks, what you are noticing may be symptoms. My second parent wonders if it is a good idea to have yearly mental health wellness checks, just like our kids have annual physicals. What a great idea!

Hi, I'm Dr. John Robinson, and this is Teachable Moments. I have a few more letters for you today. Here's the first one. Dear Dr. Robinson, everybody talks about stress these days, but what is that? Physically, emotionally, my 10-year-old son picks at his fingernails and absently rocks back and forth when he's concentrating. Is that stress? I'm so confused. Signed, concerned parent. Dear concerned, wow, have you opened a can of worms. Stress is a psychosocial, emotional, physical phenomenon. Say that five times real fast. And it's everywhere. In fact, there is you stress, the good kind, as well as distressed, the bad kind. Your son's behavior may signal stress. First, simply call attention to it. Son, you're rocking back and forth again.

Is everything okay? It may just be an unconscious gesture. Other more serious signs of stress include disruption of sleep patterns, loss of appetite, overeating, change of behavioral types, such as a quiet child becoming more vocal or a vocal child becoming more quiet. Physically, skin problems other than developmentally generated acne, headaches, and gastrointestinal issues are all frequently associated with stress. Now, getting less press because it's not problematic, there is eustress. That's the good stuff. For example, gravity is eustress.

It keeps us from floating into space. Anticipation of Christmas or birthdays, assuming there are good memories to these events, would also be examples of use stress. Oftentimes, with our help, kids can turn historically distressedful situations into you-stressful. If your son plays little league baseball and has been in a slump at the plate, you might offer batting practice and coaching to help him raise his confidence. Next time he comes to bat with more confidence, he will look forward to it and anticipate a base hit. The same experience, batting can be either distressful or you-stressful depending on your son's mindset.

So, use active listening when your son seems stressed. This will help him sort out his feelings and guide you in how to help him. Stress in and of itself is not bad, focusing on helping your son deal with it and turn it into a teacher one moment. Blessings, Dr. John. Here's another letter. Dear Dr. Robinson, my children get physical wellness checks every year. Occasionally, these checks have caught something that could have become a terrible illness had we not caught it before it getting out of hand. Is it also a good idea to get mental wellness checks?

Signed, Just Wondering. Dear Ms. Wondering, what a great idea. You really are ahead of your time. You know, unfortunately, there is still some stigma to mental illness, so people tend to ignore symptoms until they are really pronounced. And, while current insurance laws require parity between physical health and mental health benefits, most insurance companies will not pay for wellness checks. Most folks go with the principle if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Ah, denial and ignorance are bliss. What you can do is monitor your child's bouts with physical illness. Do they seem to catch everything that is going around? Are they more susceptible to influenza than other children? Do they seem particularly mopey a lot of the time? The link between physical health and mental health symptoms is our body's immune system. Think of the immune system as a futuristic force field around our bodies. We are attacked by more than 3,000 airborne viruses every day.

every day. Thankfully, almost all of them bounce off that force field called our immune system. Now, when a person's physical health is at risk, the effectiveness of their immune system goes down. Similarly, when a person's mental health is at risk, their immune system goes down as well. So, people with mental health issues tend to get physically sicker than people without mental health issues. The key is preventive care. This will lead to positive checkups, both physically and mentally. Such preventive care includes getting restful sleep, adults at least seven and a half hours per night, kids up to 10 hours per night. Also, eat right, three meals a day, balanced with protein, carbs, and lots of green, leafy veggies, the proverbial brain food. Finally, get off your butt. Regular exercise and or activity not only makes your body more efficient, it burns off anxiety and is an antidote for depression.

For children, I can't say enough about structured sports activity, whether it's school or recreational sports teams. Studies are very clear that such activities improve children's self-esteem, responsibility, social activity, and in general, positive character traits. Is it a good idea to also get mental wellness checks? By all means, yes. Good for you and for your family. Also, make a family plan for preventive care to keep the immune system operating at peak capacity. Hope these thoughts are helpful. Blessings, Dr. John. If these letters stir questions of your own, contact me through my website at www.org, thereformykids.com,

or email me at John Robinson 0.0.Beltsouth.net. I'm Dr. Jonathan C. Robinson, licensed clinical psychologist, and Christian author of Teachable Moments, Building Blocks of Christian Parenting. And this has been Teachable Moments. Teachable Moments, Building Blocks of Christian Parenting, is available online at amazon books.com and in local and national bookstores. More on Dr. Robinson at T-M-C-P-I-N-C dot com.