Being there for your kids - Teachable Moments of All Kinds

Episode Date: August 18, 2019

When all is well and your child is curious, you have a natural teachable moment, where you can impart your wisdom. When your child has a problem, after you calm him down with active listening, you can ask permission to help him solve it and morph that exchange into another teachable moment. When you have a problem with your child, you can start to settle him down by asking, "This isn't like you, son. What else is going on?" Kids usually don't answer essay questions very well. When he is puzzled or silent in response, make your essay question a multiple choice question. You know him well enough to hit on some things that may be weighing him down. Now you've gone from conflict to teachable moment. His consequences for the conflict will have more positive effect if they come within the context of a teachable moment.

Hi, I'm Dr. John Robinson, and this is Teachable Moments. In my book, Teachable Moments Building Blocks of Christian Parenting, I spend a lot of time encouraging parents to create teachable moments for your kids. Such moments are generally an aha moment for your child, you know, when they get it. It's new information they acquire from you or from the circumstances, a life lesson, if you will. There are three kinds of teachable moments. The most fun ones come when there is no problem. You're sharing a magic moment with your child, and both of you are the better for it. Jim and Jason are riding in the car, and it begins to snow. Six-year-old Jason is fascinated by the snowflakes hitting the windshield.

Wow, there are like a million of them, Dad. Jim glances over to his transfixed son. That's right, son, and each is different from the others. Each is a unique creation from God. Jason cocks his head as he looks back at his dad. Dad continues, that's what snowflakes. and humans have in common. Each is created individually.

Each is unique. Each is from God. Jason paused for just a moment and then turned again to look at the snowflakes outside. A spontaneous, teachable moment. After getting back from the store, Jim gets Jason started on his homework. While getting supper ready, he hears Jason erupt,

Ah! This math is stupid. If his dad chooses power, he might be offended by Jason's show of disrespect and lose a teachable moment. Instead, he chooses empathy and active listens Jason's feelings. Wow, you're really upset. It's hard when you're learning something new and it doesn't come to you naturally. Jason noticeably calms down and slumps his shoulders.

Dad continues, I've got some ideas for you. Do you want to hear them? Another teachable moment evolves from his calming his son down and getting back to task. The third kind of teachable moment is rarely acknowledged. These occur not from circumstances and not from when your child. has a problem. These occur when you have a problem with your child. After Jason and his dad figure out his homework and he finishes it, his four-year-old sister comes into his room. Get out, Emily. I don't want

you here in my room, he shouts, and then pushes her down. Emily's cries bring Jim running. Her dad scoops her up and stares down his son. While comforting his daughter, Jim asks Jason, care to explain? She was bothered me, Jason countered. Jim paused to collect his thoughts and chose this to be another teachable moment for Jason. So, Emily was bothering you, and you chose to shout at her and push her down. Jim let Emily down and directed her to go play in her room, and that he would be there shortly. Son, this isn't like you. What else is going on? Jason expected to be yelled at, but puzzled instead. He began to explain his actions while his dad active listened. When Jason finished, Dad asked, could there be other ways you could have handled your

feelings better? Jason fell silent. Dad added, tell you what, just climb on your bed for a while and lay there. No toys, no books, no electronics. I want you to think about other ways you could have handled your feelings and how you could have avoided hurting your sister. I'm going to tend to Emily, and I'll be back in a while to hear what you've come up with. While magic times and calming times are two sources of teachable moments with your child, confronting times is the flip side of teachable moments. All promote healthy relationship and creative problem solving. I'm Dr. Jonathan C. Robinson, licensed clinical psychologist and Christian author of Teachable Moments, Building Blocks of Christian Parenting. And this has been Teachable Moments. Teachable Moments, Building Blocks of Christian Parenting,

is available online at AmazonBooks.com and in local and national bookstores. More on Dr. Robinson at T-M-C-P-I-N-C.com.