Being there for your kids - Tending to kid health issues

Episode Date: May 8, 2022

Tragedy can befall any family at any time. In the first letter, mom wants help not with her elder son who is quadriplegic, but rather with her younger son, whom she fears will be left out. There's a place for all in the family, no matter what the trauma. In the second letter, how could a sweet, adorable, little 5-yr old girl suffer from migraine headaches. Mom is fraught with worry and concern. I helped her come up with options to help ease her daughter's pain.

Hi, I'm Dr. John Robinson, and this is Teachable Moments. I have two more letters for you today. Here's the first one. Dear Dr. Robinson, my middle son, Caleb, age 12, had a diving accident last summer. It's been nonstop caring for him, hospitals, rehab, physical therapy. The tragedy left him a quadriplegic. The doctors tell us his condition is not life-threatening, but it's all hands on deck to attend to his bodily needs, not to mention his overall adult. adjusting to his new normal. As much as my heart goes out to Caleb, I'm writing you about his younger brother, Colt, age eight. He's doing the best he can with our family struggles, but he's left with babysitters or family friends a lot as we go to doctors and rehab appointments. He seems to be quietly understanding, stays in his room a lot playing video games, and otherwise apologizes when he

needs something or feels in the way. How can we care for both our children, given how much more Caleb needs us right now. Signed, troubled. Dear troubled, my heart and prayers go out to you and all of your family. It feels so senseless when such a tragedy befalls a family. Given the overwhelming 24-7 labor of love you folks need to have with Caleb right now, you're a great mom for recognizing Colt's needs as well. Here's what comes to mind. With your description of how Colt seems to be handling this family trauma, he's not going to volunteer any thoughts feeling. or needs that he has. He's just going to try to melt into the shadows and focus not on adding to the family stress. So, I encourage you to start by showing him your letter to me. Let him know that,

of course, he will always be an important part of the family. Ask him how he feels about Caleb's condition. If he doesn't know or is reluctant to tell you, go hypothetical, such as I was talking to another mom and she told me her son felt this, or if I were your age and having to deal with all of this, I would feel that. I'd have listened to his responses until he seems to have gotten it all out. After Colt seems settled, ask him how he would like to be helpful to Caleb. He could feed him, push him in his wheelchair, read to him. Caleb could also help Colt with his homework. Join in the discussion your sons could have on this topic. Include him in the taking care of Caleb's needs. Finally, talk with your husband about each of you having one-on-one fun time with Colt. Play video

games together. Go to the movies. Be a part of his scouting or recreational activities. Of course, the four of you will have family fun together as well, but your one-on-one time with Colt will help him adjust to your new family normal. With these thoughts, I hope you are now less troubled. Here's another letter. Dear Dr. Robinson, my daughter is only five years old and her pediatrician has diagnosed her with chronic migraines. I have them too, and he says there is a genetic link. But five years old? I am thrown for a loop.

None of the migraine medicine is approved for children less than 18. She's very active and really doesn't complain about headaches that much. Just go, go, go. Should I be concerned? What to do? Signed, now what? Dear, now what? Most children are spared migraines.

Even when genetically predisposed, most migraines, Most migraines are not diagnosed until late teens, early 20s. Nonetheless, you should be concerned. Here's what to do. First, get a second opinion from a child neurologist. However well-intentioned your pediatrician is, migraine headaches are not a part of his specialty. Second, if the diagnosis is confirmed, follow the child neurologist's recommendations about medication. Regardless, medication is not the primary treatment for patients your daughter's age.

A lot of such medications have sedation as the primary side effect. Be careful about that. Third, her being on the go, go, go might be part of the migraine triggers. Some well-intentioned parents these days load up young children with an abundance of after-school activities. Think ballet, piano, gymnastics, robotics, scouting, sports recreation. While none of these is bad, all of it might be a bit too much. Encourage at least one afternoon a week where she can just play in the best. backyard or hang out with you. Finally, teach your calming techniques and mindfulness. Yes, five-year-olds can do these things. Help her learn deep breathing and simply being present within herself as a means

of stress management. If you don't already do this, she may also benefit from some downtime when she gets home. A half hour of cookies and milk with you after school can soothe the troubled soul. These are options that come to mind. Good for you on being on top of this. Hopefully these thoughts will feel you're now what. I'm Dr. Jonathan C. Robinson, licensed clinical psychologist and Christian author of Teachable Moments, Building Blocks of Christian Parenting. And this has been Teachable Moments. Teachable Moments, Building Blocks of Christian Parenting is available online at AmazonBooks.com and in local and national bookstores. More on Dr. Robinson at TMC-P-I-N-C.com.