Being there for your kids - That New Bundle of Joy is Now Part of your Family

Episode Date: May 28, 2019

Going from a loving couple to parents of a newborn is one heck of a major life change. Because that baby is completely helpless on her own, you are who she calls on 24 hours a day. The learning curve for both of you is very steep, but the love and reward is boundless. Learn the types of cries your child lets out. Is this the I'm poopy cry? I'm hungry? I want attention? I'm hurting? or the most used form, I'm just messin' with you? Find ways to do tag team parenting, when one of you is on, the other on is off-duty. This keeps both of you fresh and engaged. When your newborn is down, so should you be. That's when you both need your rest. Use both verbal and nonverbal active listening to understand what she is feeling, what her needs are. Newborns thrive on contact comfort. This new bundle of joy is now part of your family.

Hi, I'm Dr. John Robinson, and this is Teachable Moments. Let's suppose that you are expecting or just had a newborn baby. From my own experience, I can tell you that I was equal parts thrilled and terrified, excited and overwhelmed. Even with extended family around, there's a feeling that the buck stops with me and that I'd better get this right. Do we always get it right? No. Do we understand all of our child's baby talk? We try to, but no. So what's a parent to do? Despite the best intentions of those who've been there done that, firstborn parenting is by definition a task of learning on the job. Our firstborns are always our experimental child because we are just trying out what we think is the right way to parent, without really knowing what the heck we're doing. With our firstborn, I was determined to be the best

dad ever. That meant rocking her each night until she was fast asleep in my arms. Then I would transfer her to the crib. Within 30 seconds of putting her down, she would let out a scream that would curl, the paint on the walls. After many nights of rocking her for over three hours to no avail, my wise and lovely wife challenged me. She suggested I take the stopwatch out of my testing kit, put our daughter down after 15 minutes of rocking her, and time how long it would take for her to fall asleep. I was aghast. How could I let her cry in her bed for hours on end until she fell asleep? Well, the time is embedded in my brain to this day, six minutes and 36 seconds, and she was fast asleep for the night.

I learned my lesson. What I thought was her cry of protest was a cry for attention. The more attention I gave her, the longer she stayed awake. Take heart new parents. You will soon learn the difference between your child's I'm hungry, I'm poopy, I want attention, I'm mad, and the most used, I'm just messing with you, cries. If both parents are available, take turns, both to help your child respond to each of you

and also to spell each other on the job. And especially, if at all possible, when your newborn is down for a nap, so should you be as well. Ask for help. Don't try to be all things to all people. Learn to translate your child's baby talk to tailor your response to both your needs

and to those of your child. I'm Dr. Jonathan C. Robinson, licensed clinical psychologist, and this has been Teachable Moments. Teachable Moments, Building Blocks of Christian Parenting, is available online at AmazonBooks.com and in local and national bookstores. More on Dr. Robinson at TMC-P-I-N-C.com.