Being there for your kids - Time off from School can be Time On for Fun

Episode Date: November 4, 2022

Holidays can be chaotic, with kids home from school for chunks of time. Beginning with a family meeting, these times can be fun for everybody. Getting everyone involved from planning to completion is the ticket to having holidays go well for your family. In my second letter, mom is having a pity party about not having "me-time." I helped her distinguish between selfish and self-caring. Getting "me-time" is about planning for it, keeping kiddos supervised and occupied, and making the time for yourself.

Hi, I'm Dr. John Robinson, and this is Teachable Moments. I have a few more letters for you today. Here's the first one. Dear Dr. Robinson, we just had our holiday planning family meeting, as you have suggested, and we are at a loss. Where do we go from here? Our boys, ages 8, 12, and 14, love the brainstorming part. Lots of ideas from them.

All very expensive. My husband's company downsized recently. He kept his job, but had to take a pay cut. The rising inflation and gas prices have really hit us hard. Now, our kids expect the same from us when we really need to cut back. Maybe next year, signed, Now What? Dear Now What, good for you for putting the family meeting in play. Hope you are using this tool weekly, along with the dry erase wall calendar,

to log individual and family events. It's a great way to keep everybody connected and involved. Sorry for the financial hit you folks are having to deal with. Kids tend to get into expectation mode that sometimes doesn't mesh with reality. With your active listening, their feelings, especially the reality check and their disappointment, I think your kids are at the ages to rise to the occasion. I have three ideas for you. First, after addressing their emotional fever and prompting with,

I have some thoughts on what we can do. Do you want to hear them? Remember, asking permission before long, launching in works wonders for they're actually listening to you. Suggest another holiday vacation themed family meeting. This time qualify that focusing only on what the family can afford will lower their expectations and get you over the hump. Second, let me introduce to you the concept of a staycation,

potentially just as much fun and far less expensive. Stacations start every morning with the question, So, what do you want to do today? That will be fun and different. Use a little humor to help them get into their creative spirit and, again, be conscious of cost. Ideas that are outside the box, creative, innovative, can be great fun and not costly. Try to avoid excessive video gaming and other singular withdrawing activities. Finally, as time and circumstances permit, consider day trips to tourist sites in your area. I grew up near Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and and never saw all the neat tourist attractions until I became a tourist for a day as a senior in high school. Overnights are always more costly. Hope these ideas are helpful. This holiday season will be different for all of you, but it can also be exquisite as you get creative. Blessings, Dr. John.

Here's another letter. Dear Dr. Robinson, is it ever okay just to be selfish? You know, do stuff for me? time off from school seems to be just about what the kids want to do and managing the chaos of their not being in school for chunks of each day. Am I a bad parent signed, resigned? Dear resigned, are we having a pity party here? Hey, no disrespect, but don't beat yourself up.

It may not be okay to be selfish, but being self-caring will work wonders both for you and for your family. You pose an either or a question. I would like for you to consider the both and of, fun when the kids aren't in school. Selfish would be, I don't care what you're doing, take care of yourself, that's what I'm going to do. This is activity without consideration for the consequences of your choices. Since we are all charged with raising our kids in the ways of the Lord so that he will not depart from them when they are old, that's Proverbs 226, this kind of selfish hurts your kids.

Self-caring, however, is not activity-based, it's need-based. You most certainly can't. tend to your needs without letting your children run wild. You need some me time to read, go to the bathroom privately, hang with a friend for a while, then make room for these things in your days. The key is that your kids are otherwise occupied with supervision and accountability built into the system. Depending on the ages of your children, getting self-caring time might include arranging play dates, participating in a babysitting co-op, signing your brood up for camps, classes, hobby groups, and other short-term activities that don't involve you. When they are around and you need privacy, qualify it with, I need some mommy time here.

Give me 20 minutes and I'll be refreshed and more fun to be with. That's not selfish at all. That's self-caring. You're not a bad parent. As long as your kids have accountability and supervision, meeting needs can be a both and option, and everybody wins. good luck blessings dr john if these letters stir questions of your own contact me through my website at wwww.w.com or email me at john robinson zero zero at bell south.net i'm dr jonathan c robinson licensed clinical psychologist and christian author of teachable moments building blocks of christian

parenting and this has been teachable moments teachable moments building blocks of christian parenting available online at amazonbooks.com and in local and national bookstores more on dr robinson at t m c pinc dot com