Being there for your kids - Top Ten Helpful Hints for Successful Parenting

Episode Date: February 5, 2020

I know you really want to do your best at this parenting thing. With all the distractions, confusion, and mixed messages, successful parenting can be hard. As a quick reference, and to make it a bit easier, consider my top ten helpful hints for successful parenting. These helpful hints will both help you put your concerns in context and also lead you to a strong, relational bond with your children.

Hi, I'm Dr. John Robinson, and this is Teachable Moments. I want to take a moment here to give you some helpful tips for parenting success. You know, even under the best of circumstances, parenting is tough, especially when you might have negative role models or no role models. It's a hard gig to do alone. Here is your first newborn, and you are floundering, just trying to keep your head above water and figure this thing out. After 43 years of clinical practice working with children, teens, teens, and their parents, after successfully launching my own two children into their adult worlds, and after receiving the blessings and gifts back from them of six grandchildren, after all this, I have a few helpful tips for parenting success. Number one, always start where your child is. Number two, allow at least five to ten minutes of transition, both at the beginning and at the end of changing circumstances. Number three, earn respect with active listening.

healthy boundaries, and direction. Number four, it's not only about the outcome. Sometimes the process is the key. Number five, building character and developing a growth rhythm sets the tone. Number six, be aware of developmental stage influence. And number seven, be aware of school and social influence. Number eight, start with your child's strengths and help them use what works to impact their weaknesses.

Number nine, reframe failures to be also blessings in disguise. and finally, draw on and draw in other resources in your children's lives. These helpful hints are offered to give you guidance both on a daily basis as well as in hard times. The goal of each is to be in the moment with your child. Focus on your relationship with him. Filter out all the noise. These helpful hints apply both when your child is showing an emotional fever and also when you are just hanging out together and you sense a teachable moment coming your way.

One of the epic phrases and door openers that I have developed over the years is this. Gosh, son, this isn't like you. What else is going on? It's an elegant phrase that provides a stop sign for current activities, bringing both you and your child back to the mindful present. It also affirms your child's positive qualities against the backdrop of what he's just gotten himself into. And it acknowledges that there is more here than meets the eye. Life is complicated, and he's stuck in it right now. If, for chance, your child gives you a blank stare or shuts down for being asked a meaningful question,

take this essay question and make it a multiple choice. If you get, I don't know, or leave me alone, you know him and you know his circumstances well enough to offer several options as to what might be bothering him. With multiple choice options, he's likely to give you something that you can further explore with active listening. With your awareness of these helpful hints, teachable moments can't. abound. I'm Dr. Jonathan C. Robinson, licensed clinical psychologist and Christian author of Teachable Moments, Building Blocks of Christian Parenting. And this has been Teachable Moments. Teachable Moments, Building Blocks of Christian Parenting is available online at AmazonBooks.com and in local and national bookstores. More on Dr. Robinson at TMC-P-I-N-C.com.