Being there for your kids - Transitions Can Be Tough

Episode Date: February 3, 2019

If your child is going to have difficulty during the day, chances are it will happen during a transition time. Even with expected transitions, like changing classes, things are different. We have to adapt on the fly. Mostly it's easy, but sometimes not. To curtail potential difficulty engage in pre-planning with your child. Help him expect possible negative outcomes. Streamline the transition process so he has less to think about. Transitions can be tough, but with active listening and joint problem-solving, you can help ease transitions.

Hi, I'm Dr. John Robinson, and this is Teachable Moments. Do you like surprises? Some people do, some do not. Most who don't like surprises have some difficulty with self-consciousness, being the center of attention, or losing control. Others have had a bad experience with surprises, and the memory lingers. Transitions are not necessarily surprises. In fact, most transitions are very normal. However, we can even be thrown off our game by normal expected transitions. For school children, normal daily transitions include asleep to awake, home to school, classroom to connections, or lunch, school to home, awake back to asleep. Sounds like normal stuff, but the issues most children will find often occur around or because of these and other unexpected changes. Eight-year-old Joey was a bear to get up in the morning. Every day, Mom felt

like she was wrestling an alligator. She started being pleasant and low-key. Hey, fella, it's another the glorious day, the sun is shining and your friends are waiting to say hi to you at the bus stop. Let's get some good breakfast and you can be on your way. Every morning mom started out being pleasant, but Joy would have none of it. Oh, ma, just a few more minutes. I promise I'll get up then. And the battle begins. Some days, Joy complies. Other days, mom resorts to yelling and threatening. For mornings and other transitions for your children, consider giving them a five to ten minute heads up. First, in a quiet time away from the transitions, talk to your child about how transitions are going. Active list and his feelings about change and share your frustrations with helping him adapt.

Conclude with, so looks like we have a problem and neither one of us likes how this has been going. Any suggestions? The heads-up rule is a universal starting point. Adjust bedtime and awakening time to account for the extra five to ten-minute transition. Minimize conflict by pre-planning. For example, help him get squintuitive. clothes and book bag ready the night before. Make decisions about breakfast with input the night before. Smooth out other potential wrinkles ahead of time to allow for an easy transition.

Finally, mark out a trial period for all of the changes and identify a reward and consequence based on your child's effort and response. Transitions can be tough, but the heads-up rule can help them go better for all of you. I'm Dr. Jonathan C. Robinson, licensed clinical psychologist and Christian author, and this has been Teachable Moments. Teachable moments, building blocks of Christian parenting is available online at Amazonbooks.com and in local and national bookstores. More on Dr. Robinson at TMC-P-I-N-C.com.