Being there for your kids - What Kind of Parent Are You?

Episode Date: December 17, 2018

There are all kinds of parents. What kind are you? Are you a dictator? Overbearing? Pushover? Whatever? Or are you an absent parent? All of these types of parents diminish the relationship, even though they may be well-intended. When you make an effort to balance your needs, wants and feelings with those of your children, you are offering a meaningful relationship to them.

Hi, I'm Dr. John Robinson, and this is Teachable Moments. I have a question for you. What kind of parent are you? Did you know parents come in all shapes and sizes? There are dictators, pushovers, just friends, overbearing, whatever, and also absent parents. Most parents try to do the best they can do. Some are overwhelmed and just trying to keep their heads above water. What kind of parent are you? Maggie and I had Rachel after seven years of marriage. We planned our family and were ready, or so we thought. Rachel ended up having the colic, probably for six to eight weeks, but she played it for four months. At our wits end, we sought help from specialists at Philadelphia Children's Hospital, only the best for our little girl. The doctor took five minutes with our daughter and 20 minutes with us.

After giving us assurances that our little girl was fine, he noted, you know, guys, Rachel is one-third of your family. She deserves one-third of your time and attention. Wow. That comment hit me like a ton of bricks. You mean I can have time for myself and for my wife? Yes, you can. In fact, such time adds to the quality of time that you have with your children. In Amy Choua's book, The Battle Hym of the Tiger Mom, the author makes a case for being all in with your child. She says demanding perfection and mastery at all costs to you and to the balanced life is worth it for your child to accomplish great things. Well, no thanks. That price is way too high. Others prefer the role of the soccer mom. These parents seem to be at their children's beckon call, shuddling them to soccer games and other events in hopes of giving them a well-rounded childhood. Also, at great cost to you. Neither extreme provides a balance of activity and responsibility for all family members. Other authors, Elizabeth and Charles Schmitz in their book, Building the love that lasts the seven surprising secrets of successful marriage, advocate for keeping the marriage

strong above all else. In teachable moments building blocks of Christian parenting, I describe a plexiglass pyramid where above the point of the pyramid is God. As we are in relationship with him, we have healthy resources for ourselves. As we are in relationship with ourselves, we can be there for our spouse. As the marriage is healthy, we can be there for our children. These pyramid relationships provide the balance of activity and responsibility within which all family members thrive. Where are your priorities and what kind of parent are you. I'm Dr. Jonathan C. Robinson, licensed clinical psychologist and Christian author, and this has been Teachable Numbers. Teachable Moments, building blocks of Christian parenting is available online at AmazonBooks.com and in local and national bookstores.

More on Dr. Robinson at TMC-P-I-N-C.com.