Being there for your kids - When Bribery Doesn't Work

Episode Date: November 10, 2018

Many parents outright bribe their kids to "be good." Kids will take the bribe but not necessarily follow through with being good. They are not invested in the process. Effective behavior management tools include using The Good Kid Chart. Here, your child invests in the process, as you define what they are working on and they give you reasonable requests for daily and weekly reward for their efforts. It's a win-win system that both provides your child with a teachable moment and also helps them grow "in the ways of the Lord." You maintain parental authority. They engage in positive character development.

This is Teachable Moments. I'm Dr. John Robinson. When is behavior management more than bribery? Many parents tell me that they don't do behavior management with their child because they don't believe in bribing them. Effective behavior management is not bribery. The more your child is involved in and invested in the system, the more he wants to do well and be rewarded for his efforts. One way of putting this into practice is developing what I've called a good kid chart. This helps your child track target behavior and receive daily and weekly rewards based on achieving those behaviors. Involve your child in creating these daily and weekly reward lists also involve them in the consequence list. Linking daily and weekly rewards together keeps him involved in the process

and helps him develop consistency over time in building his character. The first level of consequence is not getting the reward. Only go to the consequence list for egregious infractions. For example, if the target behavior is play nicely with your sister and your child mocks her, or puts her down, he doesn't get the daily reward for that target behavior. If he knocks her down or yells at her, he gets to choose from the consequence list as well. Such involved, interactive behavior management helps build character. Bribery simply keeps the child temporarily out of your hair, but with no lasting effect. I'm Dr. John Robinson, licensed clinical psychologist and Christian parenting author,

and this has been Teachable Moments. Teachable Moments, building blocks of Christian parenting, is available online. at amazon books.com and in local and national bookstores more on dr robinson at t m c pinc dot com