Being there for your kids - When Trouble Comes Knocking

Episode Date: November 26, 2019

Nobody likes trouble. It's not like we invite it into our lives. But, guess what? It comes knocking for all of us. So, when trouble come knocking at your door, or when your kids are in trouble, consider a response that includes total honesty and good timing. When people lie, they only double their trouble. When people delay their response, it creates uncertainty and concerns about minimizing or manipulating. Much better to confront trouble at the door, when it comes knocking, rather than waiting for trouble to come in and set up shop in your soul.

Hi, I'm Dr. John Robinson, and this is Teachable Moments. Let's talk about when trouble comes knocking. If you could choose how much trouble you got, what would you do? Will you choose a lot because you deserved it? Or would you choose less, even though you deserved more? For children, actually, for all of us, the amount of trouble is related to both timing and honesty. Little nine-year-old Malcolm snuck into his teenage brother's bedroom to check out the gaming system. Jamal had gotten it from their folks for his 15th birthday.

Both Jamal and their folks had told Malcolm to never touch it and to only play it when he was with Jamal. However, with both of his parents at work and Jamal not yet home from school, the temptation was too much. Besides, what could go wrong, right? Malcolm discovered how to turn the system on, and they began flipping switches and maneuvering the controls. He heard a pop, saw a flash of light behind the screen, and everything went dark. His eyes popped out of his head as he threw the controls down, looked cautiously around the room,

and then slunk back into his bedroom. When he heard the front door open and Jamal calling for him, Malcolm buried his head under the pillow, hoping he could just disappear. Malcolm now is at a choice point that will determine how much trouble he buys. He expects Jamal to make his way into his own bedroom and then to explode when he sees that his gaming system is broken.

When eventually confronted by his brother, Malcolm can choose to lie, stall, change the subject, and hope that Malcolm tires of it all and just goes away. Or he can choose to tell the truth right away, even meeting his brother at the front door ahead of it all, confessing to what he had done, and offering to help fix the system or pay his brother for repairs. As a rule of thumb, when in trouble, lying almost always doubles your trouble. even if it works for the time being, you have to keep up with your lies and tell more lies without ever addressing the problems in the first place. Honesty is the best policy. Timing is also of utmost importance. When I share this with folks, I use a visual display to make my point. Put in your left hand the point in time when the problem happened.

This is a stationary point. It actually and only happened then. In your right hand is the point in time when you address the problem. This point is movable. Now, put your hands together in front of you and then extend your right hand out to identify the point in time when you spoke up in honesty. The distance between my hands is the amount of trouble you have bought. So, as parents to your children, always encourage them to be honest to only have one trouble rather than two. Also, encourage them to speak immediately when confronted or before being confronted to buy the least possible amount of time.

When handled properly, times of trouble can turn into teachable moments. I'm Dr. Jonathan C. Robinson, licensed clinical psychologist, and Christian author of Teachable Moments Building Blocks of Christian Parenting. And this has been Teachable Moments. Teachable Moments, Building Blocks of Christian Parenting, is available online at AmazonBooks.com and in local and national bookstores. More on Dr. Robinson at TMC-P-I-N-C.com.