Being there for your kids - You Count Too, You Know!

Episode Date: July 9, 2019

If your life in your family happens at a break-neck, frantic pace all the time, you need to build into your schedule some "me time."  Of course, crises of all shapes and sizes will continue to happen, but with priortizing, delegating, healthy boundaries, and reinforcing, you can get through the crises better and build me time into your day. Some moms of pre-schoolers have actually tole me that they can't even get me time on the toilet behind a closed bathroom door! Rough. Guess what, moms, when you are always available, you will always be counted on. Indespensibility can be a curse! Talk with your spouse and set up a family meeting to pave the way. Also, carving out me time is not just for you. Each person in a family needs to learn the value of how to be alone and occupy their own time productively. In healthy families, everybody counts. You count too, you know.

I'm Dr. John Robinson, and this is Teachable Moments. Let's talk about MeTime. What's that? Your phone is ringing. The baby is crying. Your toddler just spilled his juice all over the floor. The clothes dryer is buzzing, and you haven't even put up the clean clothes from last night. Is your head exploding yet?

Mine is. Feeling overwhelmed can be a normal, common state for well-intentioned parents. My parents were never there for me, so I'm going to put my all into being. being the best parent ever. My mom and dad sacrificed everything for us kids. That's just what parents do. The Bible teaches me to be submissive to my husband and a servant to my kids, so that's what I'm doing. Wow, I've actually heard parents say these kinds of things to me. Again, well-intentioned, but a setup for feeling perpetually overwhelmed. So, Mom and Dad, how can you get back on a steady course for the right reasons? First, recognize and use the pyramid of family.

family relations. You are at the top of your relational pyramid. Above your pyramid is God. If you are not right with God, your relations with your spouse and family will be full of issues. Some parents build a prayer closet, literally, for time with the Lord. Others set aside 15 minutes per day for personal devotions. Jesus said, I will never leave you nor forsake you. Take him at his word. Second, as you take time for yourself, you make time for your spouse. Jesus also said, another as you love yourself. Self-care makes quality other care possible. Healthy diet, sufficient sleep, exercise, all facilitate healthy interaction with your spouse. Setting aside couple devotional time as well sets the tone. Further down the pyramid are your children, extended family, and friends.

The keys to multitasking and balancing self-care with other care are prioritizing, delegating, and setting healthy boundaries. In assessing the tasks, hand your toddler paper towels to clean up his mess as you go to the baby to soothe her tears. These are the immediate priorities. You don't have to answer the phone until you have the time. Your phone stores the call and it will be there when you are not so frantic. If the buzzer on your dryer loops to recur intermittently, take a moment to shut it off after you settle the baby.

Help your toddler clean up his mess, telling him what a big boy he is to get started without you. With immediate crises averted, sit down and take him. a breath. Life will go on. God is good, and so are you. Later, with your spouse, in a family meeting, you can set healthy boundaries by compiling lists of house rules and individual chores. Delegate chores to children consistent with their ages, but everybody pitches in. Build me time into your schedule. If you wait for a good time to take care of yourself, it will never happen. I'm Dr. Jonathan C. Robinson, licensed clinical psychologist and Christian author, and this has been teachable moments. Teachable moments, building blocks of Christian parenting is available online at

AmazonBooks.com and in local and national bookstores. More on Dr. Robinson at tmcpinc.com.