Being there for your kids - You matter too!

Episode Date: May 2, 2019

Being a parent is always a 24-7-365 opportunity. But, it's impossible for you to be there for your child, in a high quality way, if you are not there for yourself. Taking time to understand your wants and needs and to nurture your own feelings puts you on top of your game when you are there for your kids. In the Bible, Matthew 22:39, Jesus taught that the only two rules we have to follow are to "love your God completely, and love yourself as you love others." Loving yourself means making time for you. Quiet time. Devotional time. Alone time. Schedule these times when child care is minimal, such as before the kids get up or after they go to bed. Schedule these times also when the cavalry is available and you can be "off duty." Not only are you re-energizing for the long parenting haul, but you are also modeling for your kids their abilities to understand their needs and feelings and to take care of themselves. That's a profound teachable moment.

Hi, I'm Dr. John Robinson, and this is Teachable Moments. In the parent-child interaction, I think an important question that the parent needs to ask is, but what about me? You know, some child development and parenting experts say that it's vital for you to be there for your kids 24-7, not me. If your emotional fever is high and you've got something causing major stress in your life, is critical for you to take a step back and tend to your needs and feelings. Jesus gave us a commandment that covers this. In Matthew 22, verses 38 and 39, he says, The greatest commandment is to love your God with all your heart, mind, and soul. The second greatest commandment is to love one another as you love yourself.

So what does that mean? God wants us to love and be there for our children in the same way in which we are there for ourselves. If you are out of gas, you've got nothing left to give to your children. You are then at risk for doing more harm than good. There's a reason why airplane pre-flight instructions tell passengers to put the oxygen mass on themselves before putting it on their children in case of emergency. So how can we be there for ourselves? Two resources come to mind.

First, daily time alone without distraction or pressure. This often takes the form of devotional time with God. Did you notice in scripture that Jesus went off to pray before his miracles? Also, after a big day of teaching and healing, he frequently went into the mountains for respite and to pray again. Most devotional guides take about 15 minutes of quiet time. Morning works best for me as it centers me for the coming day. Some families extend devotions to include family devotions and couple devotions,

but I would always include private time with the Lord. Second, daily therapeutic journaling is a profound resource. It's quiet time with your thoughts and feelings about the day's events. I encourage you to write them down no longer than a page and rank the day on a scale of one to ten. You will notice patterns and themes over time. You also are developing a log that you can review to sort out ways to get out of a funk and improve your days. Some people put the journal entry in the form of a letter to God. Actually, your gift to you is also a gift to your children because it leads you to give them the best

you that you have. What about me? Make time and effort to nurture yourself and your relationship with God. I'm Dr. Jonathan C. Robinson, licensed clinical psychologist and Christian author, and this has been Teachable Moments. Teachable Moments, Building Blocks of Christian Parenting, is available online at Amazon Books.com, and it's in local and national bookstores. More on Dr. Robinson at TMCP-I-N-C.com.