Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Nicole and Sasheer are the Stripe Sisters

Episode Date: August 26, 2026

Nicole and Sasheer debrief Tom Cruise chasing his eyeballs in Minority Report, the state of leading men today, get into the history of LAX and SoFi Stadium, stinky shoes, and what to do if you get the ick too quick over nothing. Watch this full video on YouTube and follow below!Follow Nicole: Twitter, Instagram, TikTokFollow Sasheer: Instagram, TikTokLike the show? Rate Best Friends 5 stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts!Have a friendship question for Nicole and Sasheer to solve? Leave us a voicemail at [phone]‬ or write in at [e-mail] Friends is a production of Headgum Studios. Our producer is Allie Kahan. Our executive producer is Anya Kanevskaya. The show is edited, mixed, and engineered by Richelle Chen.This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Best Friends via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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slash best friends. Start your free trial at Shopify.com slash best friends. This is a headgum podcast. Sometimes I do something at as surprises even me. I'm pretty sure I bought this shirt with you at a Goodwill months ago. Oh, yeah.

I think I remember that. You got a load a load of good stuff. I did get a lot of good stuff. And I stole a purse. Excuse me? It was an accident. I was wearing it. I saw.

Oh, yeah, yeah. I was like cross-bodied fanny pack. And I was like, oh, cute. And I was wearing it. And then I just paid for my other things and walked out the door. And I was like, I didn't pay for this. Oh, it's my little secret. Everybody.

They're going to get me. I don't think they care. No, I don't think they care at all. I don't know if I've stolen by accident. It's always premeditated. I'm always scheming. Oh, my God. I watched a movie about premeditated crimes.

Okay. It's called Minority Report. Oh, okay. Wow. Speaking of premeditated crimes, Here's a really famous movie. Have you seen it? I thought you were talking about a documentary.

That's really funny. Nope. I'm talking about a Tom Cruise movie. I haven't seen it. I told you about it, though, right? Yeah. I don't know if I should ruin this one scene. Is it like the scene of the movie?

Or? I don't know. I've heard. Okay, so anytime someone has told me I should see it, they're like, oh, the little swiping of the computer. Like, Tom Cruise doing this is all the. fun. There's a scene where he he gets new eyeballs.

Would it never guess. No. And you're not going to guess where I'm going with it. He gets new eyeballs via a surgeon who like doesn't like him. And then he says, I want to keep my old eyeballs. And he's like, why? And he's like, my mom gave them to me. But he wants his old eyeballs to like retinal scan. them to get into his old office. And you better believe he doesn't realize how gummy and wet an eyeball is. And he shakes them out into his hand like fucking marbles.

And then they fall out of his hand. And then Tom Cruise, the legendary actor has to chase his own eyeballs down. Also, I don't think eyeballs would roll like that. I don't know. I feel like to go splat and just like stay there. You know, if you really think about it. Yeah, I agree. And then I had no idea.

It was directed by Stephen Spielberg. I said, Stephen! He's like, we got to keep the eyeball scene. The Steven said, listen, Tom. You're going to have to chase your fucking eyeballs. We used to have fun in movies. Yeah, that's a really fun scene. Nothing could have prepared me for it.

It was such a hard, wild choice. There's another scene, there's multiple scenes where they're crashing through skylights, ruining people's lives and like homes. And he crashes through this skylight. There's a yoga class happening. And there's women bent over with their like arms on that side of their leg. So it's a hard pose to get out of. So I guess Stephen was like for time or maybe funny.

I don't know. It was like waddle over to him. Bent over like that. And it's really funny. That's funny. Yeah. But the problem. The movie is there a pre-crime unit.

And I kept going, how did I miss this movie? Was there no jokes about pre-crime sounding like pre-com? I've never heard that before. The pre-com unit? Oh, he's going to come. He's coming in his bedroom. They're all a little embarrassed. Sorry about the pre-crimes.

Sorry, but I should. I can crime all the way. My crime usually lasts a lot longer than this. But there's a brief crime unit. And there's these people who are in a pool, just chilling, relax and all cool. And then they get these visions, and then they shit out balls. And then somebody, they're brown balls. And then somebody picks up the ball and has a name on it.

What the fuck? What? What? Wait, is this, is there magic in this? No. No. No. No. No. What? Is it, are they robots? No. They're human beings. Yeah.

Who were taken from their families because they were experimenting on them. And you better believe Tom Cruise somehow finds. an elderly woman who was the head of the pre-crime division who was working with these three beings who live in a pool. And she has plants that will bite you. She has plants that will bite you. This sounds crazy. I had no idea this is what the movie was about. Me either. All I knew was I thought he was like a spy. No. No. He's stopping crimes, but then also seeing this lady who's got a garden that will kill you. Okay. And at one point they get a... so close, and I was watching it with my friend Mark Rennie, and as a joke, I was like, kiss.

And then she kissed him. And I was like, did I control the movie? It's such, it is such a wild choice that gets made. And then she's like, riddle me this, riddle me that. And he's like, Wow. Wow. Oh, also, he has a dead son. Okay. And he's so sad about it. And he does some drugs and then watches videos of his dead son. And he also watches his wife in the video. So you think she's dead too, but then she appears. Oh. She just lives out in the country. He's like, I'd miss her. And then there is a scene where Tom Cruise makes the funniest face I've ever seen. Okay, because Colin Farrell's also in it. Okay. He's looking good. He's from a government agency? I don't know. But he's like, got questions. And he's chasing Tom Cruise through a Lexus car factory.

They're making, they're assembling a Lexus and Tom Cruise is in the car. They're assembling. And he's like dodging parts of the car coming at him. And at one point you see his seat lowering on Tom Cruise and Tom Cruise goes, wait, Ellie, can you find that clip? That is wild. The movie's really fun, though. It sounds fun.

Stephen's having a nice time. He really is. I had no idea. I had no idea. It's, he makes choices that I, I would never have guessed. And I don't know who wrote it, but they were also having a great time. And Tom seems like he's having a good time. And that's nice.

Yeah. Mm-hmm. Are there multiple minority reports? Oh, like, like a sequel? Mm-hmm. No. I got confused, which is stupid, because I was like, well, a minority report in the movie is if a memory is different than what actually happened,

they'll show you the memory of the other little being who lives in the water. And that's called a minority report. So there's several minority reports and theory in the world of the movie. But as a movie goes, there's no sequel. Oh, okay. It's a standalone.

Yeah, I was asking about the movie itself. There's multiple minority. Well, actually, if you really think about it. And the way they keep them is crazy. Like, they're just like, they have shaved heads. And they're in this pool of water. And also the way these cars drive in this future is crazy. So, like, instead of a highway, it goes up, it goes vertical.

And then the cars, I guess, are stuck to the road. And they go like that. It's really wild. It's really wild. It's such a fun movie. I had a good time. You got to watch it. And Colin Farrell, boy, oh boy.

Steamy. Steamy. Yeah. Good looking. Really good looking. Who's the Colin Farrell of now? Who's hot like that? Hmm.

Who is hot like that? I feel like we're going through a phase. I feel like I saw some mean headline that was like, like, all the leading men are like rat handsome or something like that. Or they all look like rats. Rat handsome? Like big eyes. Small noses. That's deeply funny to me.

I can think of, there's like three people. I can think of many people in my head right now that like look like if you turned a mouse into a human, that is what it's the result you would get. Yeah, I agree. And I wonder when we're going to like, like, I don't know. This, maybe I shouldn't say this out loud. When we're going to get hot again?

Huh? So when we're going to get hot again? Kind of. I feel like all the leading men are soft. Like, like, not chiseled or, like, sensitive? Like, I think in his heyday, Russell Crowe, I couldn't fight him. I could fight a lot of these leading men. I believe that. Denzel, I wouldn't fight him.

Right. Samuel Jackson, I wouldn't fight him. And I just saw a video where he was like, I was smoking crack. I definitely wouldn't fight him. Matt Damon wouldn't fight him. No. Ben Diesel, certainly wouldn't invite him. Absolutely not.

Mm-hmm. But, like, not to be rude. What's his name? Robert Pattinson? I would fight him. I think I would win. Mr. Zendaya? I think I would win.

Definitely. Yeah. You know? The Salome. Excuse me? Timitay Chamalet. Chamele. Timmy Shamps.

You know what's funny? I was like, am I okay? Or did she say something funny? And then you said it funnier. And I went, well, now I understand it. I would, got it. Stop on Timothy Chedlemy. Absolutely.

Are you kidding? That's true. He's like this. He's so tiny. Yeah. Do you think our demand for strong women has made it unnecessary for men to be strong? Whoa. Feminism did this.

Feminism did this. Feminism made the men soft. Yeah, keep it in. These men are soft. Jacob Allory, he's just tall. I could push him and he'd fall down. I don't know. In Wuthering Heights, when he picked up Margot Raleigh with one hand by the belt,

I was like, oh my God. Really? Really, Sishire? My one note about Wuthering Heights. Yeah. Was it, it could have been hornier.

Oh, absolutely. But that was really cool. Okay. You only picked it by one hand? Okay. I'd melt right there. I still think I could knock him down. Maybe.

He doesn't seem sturdy. That's true. Is that actually a disadvantage for him? He's like, whoa. Just take his knees out. Wait, should I pitch this to, like, Netflix? Beating up, leading men? Nicole knocks down leading men.

It'll be like hot ones instead of eating hot ones. instead of eating hot wings, I ask you questions and then try to tackle you. So how did you get your story? Did your parents support you? Wait, that's really... Ted, Tens Serenos, I have your new show! I mean, I watch. And everyone will love it.

No AI. Just peer fury of going these men are soft. You guys are sweating by the end. I want that show. I want that for you. Thank you so much. It's really funny. Yeah.

Yeah, there's no like Russell Crows. There's no Tommy Lee Jones. Mm-hmm. Harrison Ford? Denzel? I wouldn't fuck around with Denzel. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God.

He'd scream at me if I try to tackle him. Yeah. If he just even speaks heart. to me. I'd cry. Did you see Gladiator too? Uh-uh. It's really fun. I, and you don't have to see the first one to know what's going on, because I didn't see the first one. But Denzel's in it? He's great. Great. That's it. He's like winding down on movies, right? Didn't... I feel like he was like, I only have two more movies in me. Really? Or something like that. Yeah. And then Gladiator was one of them, and I don't know what the next one is. Huh. Yeah. I don't want him to wind.

down. I don't either. Want him to keep going. Keep going for us. Yeah. He's tired. He's been acting forever. He must be exhausted. Yeah. If they do and now you can see me four. Mm-hmm. Do you think Morgan will be on it? I thought he. He died. Oh, did he? I don't want to spoil the third one for people. But I'm pretty sure. I don't want to spoil the third one for people. Oh, you now me see me heads. But also, magic. Oh my gosh, you're so right. Magic. Ah!

Anything could happen. That'd be the ultimate trick if he actually survived. I would scream. I'm screaming now. You are screaming now. I want that. He went, I hope he's in.

I hope they do a fourth one. We love now you have seen. I mean, they are making a fourth one. Are they? Yeah. Or they said they are going to. Oh, I didn't realize it. Wait, what did you think was happening?

I thought he said, I didn't read the article. I thought he said he would like to make a fourth one. They're going to. But he's like, I can't wait to get on that set. Oh, good. Good. I can't wait to see that fourth movie at 7 a.m. With a lackluster audience.

That nice man in my life is like, I've never seen you wake up this. early for anything other than a flight. And I said, got to go. I even picked up Dessa. I went out of my way. Yeah. Showed up on time.

I was, I saw all the previews. Crazy. It's crazy. It was nice. I really do like the theater. You know, every time I wake up and do something early, I go, this is great. And then I won't do it ever again. Yeah.

I woke up early today. Yeah. Took some time for myself. Nice. reviewed some stuff before a meeting. Oh, she reviewed. Sounds like, I mean corporate America. Yes.

I reviewed my presentation. I went over the notes. I went over Q2, Q4, but I missed Q3. Wasn't necessary. We covered last evening. Yeah, we covered that. But I was like, whoa, I'm not rushed. This is cool.

I bet you $100 tomorrow I'll wake up five minutes before I'm supposed to be somewhere and be like, ah! Mm-hmm. I was talking to another actress, and I think our call was like, or I think we were getting picked about 8 a.m. And she's like, what time do you wake up? And I was like, maybe like 7.30. And she was like, what?

What? For an 8 a.m. pick up? And I was like, don't need much more than that. Honestly, I could have pushed it. And she was like, no, I need to meditate. I need a journal. I need to have my coffee. I need to like stretch a little.

She has a whole morning routine, which great for her. Mm-hmm. I aspired to be that one day. And I've tried and I won't. Well, for acting, I don't want to get into myself. I'm going to sit to be somebody else. Ah, I want to wake up and step into the character.

I need to be a blank blank. Fully blank. Can't be me. Can't be ready to be me for the day. If I meditate about my problems, I might bring that with me to set. And another thing before we go. This character doesn't have coffee.

So I come dry as hell. Dry as well? Empty stomach. Not a drop of water. Yeah. That life seems really nice. It's not, I don't think it's for me. And that's okay.

If I was getting picked up at 8 a.m., I'm definitely waking up at 7.45 and walking out the door right at like 801. Yeah. We got to take a nasty little break. Ooh, nasty. Thankfully for me, Nicole is really easy to get gifts for. She loves Sonic the Hedgehog. She loves going fast.

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slash best friends. My mom was such a thrifty shopper and I feel like I learned that from her. And so now when I'm shopping, I'm always trying to find a good deal and I love getting things that are used. I love getting things that are used. vintage finds, and I find so many things on WhatNot. I found a broach on What Not for literally half

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Search What Not, W-H-A-T-N-O-T in the app store, sign up and start finding the best deals on the products you love with $20 off and free shipping on your first purchase. That was nasty. We're back. That was so nasty. Ew. I can believe you did that. What I did, nobody will ever know. It's too nasty to air. It's too nasty.

Oh, Janet Jackson, speaking of the nastiest of Miss Nasty herself. You've seen that video where she, like, ties a man up and then grinds on them. Oh, yeah. Whose idea do you think that was? Hmm. I mean, maybe her team or her. And do you think they told the man who was getting strapped up what was going to happen? I think probably the first time it ever happened, no.

And then it became like a thing that was mad. And whatever a concert she had after that, people were like, is she go pick me? I don't know if we were talking about this, if we have seen the same video of this, but the man was shaking. Yes. He looked like he was like coming.

Yeah, get the pre-com unit on. He was the pre-com unit. Yeah. Yeah, he's like, oh. But I went too. She was hot. So hot. Oh, my God.

Still is so hot. Yes. I do like when men are used in, shows for fun times like that. That sounds insane. But the other one I like is Patty LaBelle brings a bunch of men on stage and she's like, you can't sing. And that's really funny to me.

It's very funny. And go, go. Yeah. All right. Dance. Oh, boy. She's brought us to roast them. It's really funny. She's like, I don't want to sing anymore. Come on up here. Let me look at you. Now, here's my time to make fun of you. That's my audience participation. Ashley Simpson also had men on the stage.

Mm-hmm. Because I think she has a song called Boys. Yes. Yeah. So everyone was... All the boys were dancing. Mm-hmm. Oh, I love Ashley Simpson.

Mm-hmm. Oh, and we're seeing Evanescence. Yes. I'm really excited. Yeah, me too. I only know that one song. Uh, bring me to life? Mm-hmm.

You know more. I don't think I do. You gotta. They had so many hits. They did? Yeah. You must. Can you play something else other than...

and that other than bring me to life. Yeah. I simply don't think I... Well, I'll just be waiting for that one song. I'll be sitting. You also forward me an email for the concert, and I had like a little alert,

information about evidence. It was just parking info, and I was like, do I need to know that? Because the only info you need to know is like the bag size. Ah, okay. It's like clear bags or a small bag. Mm-hmm. That's it.

But I was like scrolling. I was like, yeah, parking. I was like, does she want me to get the barking? Because I can't. I already got the party. There was a thing I said, come early for like food. And I was like, no. Will that be, what is that? No, I don't want to, I don't want to mingle with an audience of a show. Yeah, I get that. Like, is it tapas? Like, what is it? Probably not. Probably not tapas. Probably just snacks. Yeah. Like, for like a concert at an arena? I've never seen that before. It was interesting. Yeah, they were like, come hang at the terrace.

I was like, what terrace? I didn't know. Did no Keyo Forum had a terrace. I didn't know it either. But yeah, I'm very excited. There's the forum, the Kia Forum, and then what's behind it? I don't know. The YouTube theater?

Is it different? Oh, yeah, there's a YouTube theater, but then there's something else there. Oh. I don't know. Me either. Oh, yeah, SoFi. Oh, SoFi Stadium, yes. Who's Sofi?

Oh. YouTube, I know him for the theater. Mm-hmm. Kia, I know them. Who's SOFI? South of Fidelity. South of Financial? The financial district?

Hey, thanks for trying now. There's a San Francisco-based financial services company called SoFi. Ah. Did it say, like, what it stands for? Financial, probably. Is it South of Financial? Social finance? Social finance.

Okay. Surely stands for finance. It's finance, probably. Finance, right? The fine is finance. That was really funny. I wonder if they have a terrace to hang out on. Probably not.

They're so social. Probably then. We passed a wild stadium. It was like the Hobby Lobby regional stadium. Do you remember we were? We do. Come on. It was like the paint, the...

It was in New Jersey. I don't remember. We were on the train. Mm. I don't remember. It was a silly name, though. I know. That didn't help.

All right. I give up. I'm sorry. It's okay. Dang, I wish I could remember. My same names are always weird. Yes. The crypto.com.

I hate it. Why did you include it? Dot com. What the hell? It's called crypto. Yeah, Cole is it. It's a sure that's really funny. Why is it the crypto.com arena?

I'm like, I'm going to see and be like, oh, you know what? They have a website? I should go to it. I should go to it. Let me get my phone now and go to crypto.com. What was it before? I don't remember. I have no idea.

Huh. We went there when it was like under construction. And I was like, why is this open? Yeah, it shouldn't be. The bathroom. It was so hard to find a bathroom. It used to be the Staples Center. Oh, yes.

Which is also, Staples had that much money to have a whole center? Well, I guess they didn't. They had to let it go. They didn't, yeah. But even at any point, I didn't know Stables was booming like that, ever. Well, I mean, at one point, we were printing everything out. That's true. We were handwriting stuff.

Faxing things. Faxing things. Laminating things. Oh, yeah. I used their lamination services this year. This year! Well, well, well. Well.

In the year of 2026, I used their lamination service to make signs for my Fourth of July party. Because I was like, I'm tired of making signs every year. Got to make this permanent. Yeah, one of the signs says, do not enter. There's nothing in here for you. And then once you get inside, it says, uh-oh, you don't read so good. You got to go back outside. That's funny.

There should be another one. If you go further in the house, it's like, oh, no, you're illiterate. Damn! You gotta go back to school. When they say open the schools, they're talking about you. And when I went to go have them laminated, she was like, this is a lot. And I was like, don't judge me.

You should be happy that something is being laminated. Yes, you lost your stadium, and I'm here to get stuff laminated, okay? I'm trying to help you get another stadium. It is wild when companies, yeah, you're, yeah. Staples had money for a center? Mm-hmm. Hmm.

Surprise the hell out of me. Surprise the hell out of me. I miss pay less. That's a company I really miss. Is it gone? Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that. Mm-hmm.

People are paying too less. Paying too less? You need to pay more. Oh, okay. People are paying too less. Too little? I saw one in Barbados, though. And I squealed and my grandpa said, shut up.

He was like, or no, he said be quiet. He would never say shut up. But I was so excited and I went in and they didn't have anything I wanted. I can't think of any pair of shoes that I've gotten for Payless. I've been in Payless so many times to try shoes on. And I don't know, I don't remember purchasing any of them. Really? Yeah.

Payless was good for inexpensive shoe options for the big footed. I see. Mm-hmm. Size 11 and up. Oh, yeah. But I would get these knockoff kids for $14.99. That's good. Oh, loved them.

And then, do you remember those beige ballet flats that I wore all the time? Pay less. Nice. Mm-hmm. I feel like three pairs a year. Wear them out. Because I wasn't wearing socks with them. Mm, stinky.

Mm-hmm. Stinky. Stinky. And I'll tell you something, that reminded me of when I hooked up with somebody, you know who this person is. It was years and years and years ago. And I was wearing my little palest kegs without socks. And we were hooking up. And he was like, let's take those shoes up. And I said, I can't.

I just wear socks with me. And he went, let's keep those on. But like, naked everywhere else. That's really funny. It's really deeply upsetting when I think about the things I did in my youth. Like, that's not normal. It's really funny. But also, like, but he was like, well.

He's like, I still gotta fuck this girl. Yeah, like, if you're not, it doesn't matter me. We can still get the job done. Well, if my memory serves me correct, he didn't have a bed frame and there was a giant bottle of Juergens next to the bed. So he's like, I'm glad you're here. I'm just glad that we're doing this. No complaints at all.

No complaints anybody would do. Let's keep. Those ones. Let's get some. Stinky. Oh, boy. I ran into an adult man who was wearing sneakers with no socks. And I was like, it's summer.

Is this a choice? You could wear no shows. You running through shoes like that? Like, why did you make this choice? It really bothered me. Yeah. I don't think there probably was no. thought at all. Just like, whatever, put my shoes on. But like, feet sweat. Even when you wear

socks with shoes after a while, they get a little stink, stink. I know. And I doubt this person's putting baking soda in their shoes to get rid of the stench. I doubt. Releaseing the beast when they get home. Stinky. Stinky. Stinky. Do you know you can also put tea bags in your shoe, and that will absorb the smell, too? I feel like I've heard that somewhere, but I have not tried it yet. And I have so many tea bags. Same. I don't drink tea. Yeah. I have so many tea bags. And then I saw that like

because of the bag is made of plastic, then you're drinking microplastics. And I'm like, I don't want to throw all out of away, but I don't know what else to do with it. Put in your shoes. I'll put in my shoes. Speaking of tea, I was watching an episode of Angel last night. And everyone drinks tea on Buffy

and Angel, which is interesting to me. But have you ever watched something that is funny, but not as funny as you think it is? Explain more. Okay. Wait, maybe it was a Buffy episode. It was a Buffy episode. But there's an episode where something happens to Giles. I don't want to ruin it.

And I could not stop laughing. Every time he was on the screen, I could have laughing now. Like, funny. And that nice man in my life was like, I do think it's funny. It's just not as funny as you think. Like I was knee slapping, like, pulled over, like crunched up in the corner laughing. So hard. Has that ever happened to you? I think the first thing I paused in my head was from 13 reasons why.

The car? There was a car crash. I don't know what season it was. But it was like the main kid and one of the jocks or something were in a car speeding for some reason. and it flipped over a rock and maybe fell down a clip. But the flip was so, like, cartoonish. It looked like a toy car. It looked like a toy car.

And we were both laughing at so much, and I filmed it on my phone. And made a boomerang loop to send to you so we could keep watching the car. And it's supposed to be, like, a sad, dramatic moment of the show. And we were like, we got to find it. We got to find that flip. It's so funny. Yeah, I wonder if anyone else would think it was funny. I don't know.

I think the fact that maybe the sound was also really low. In that scene or something? Because it didn't like have an effect where it's like, oh no. It was just like, bink. Oh, God, that was funny. Wow, we loved 13 reasons why. We have marathons watching it. Had to finish it.

And we're like OG 13 reasons why people. We saw it before they edited out. dying in the bathtub, which is so graphic. Yeah. It was wild. I remember watching it being like, for the kids? It was rough. For the teens? Yeah. Ooh. Yeah, they took that out and then added after every episode. If you're having a problem.

You're having a problem. You hear the resources, which is great, glad. But also like, yeah, what a wild concept for a show. Yeah, I killed myself. And all of you are the reason why. P.S. It's a scavenger hunt. I left tape somewhere. You got to figure it out for yourself. And some of those reasons I'm like, you had to list that one? I mean, that just sounds like a bad day. I mean, I don't want to like minimize someone's pain.

I'm like, that was one of the reasons? Yeah. One of them was just like you were talking about me. And then another one was, she was sexually assaulted. And I was like, oh, you can't. Some are worse than others. And I feel like the assault comes. way later. That's not your number one?

That could be the only one, actually. Yes. Oh, boy. Multiple seasons. You feel like you'd solve those 13 reasons why after 13 episodes. But then we got a season two. Well, that was like the court case, the runoff from the, because I guess the mom was like, my kid was bullied so much. Yes. The school didn't do anything. I'm suing your ass. Yes. And then everyone had to testify, but we didn't watch all of that. No. And then season three was like, we know you didn't watch it.

We're going to explain everything. Yeah. But then season three, I can't really remember what I was about. It was just that Clay, it was just Clay losing his mind. Yeah, he was like hallucinating and seeing ghosts. Yeah, and like starting riots. Riot, there was a whole like. Black Lives Matter.

Riot was like the police against the students. I don't know. I don't think that was on her tape. We had moved past it. It wasn't even about her anymore. No, it really wasn't. But Clay losing his mind. And honestly, that should be her 14th reason.

Y'all forgot about me so fast. I can't cross over now. Now I'm stuck watching y'all be weird. And then there was that girl that Clay was like fucking with. The English girl? Oh, yeah. It's a lot happening on that show. Great show.

I loved it. Great show. I loved it. We haven't had a fun show, like, because you ended. Yeah. We on Netflix. We haven't had like a show that we've watched ravenously. Yeah. We're hungry for.

I'll be hungry for a show. Me too. I'm famished. I'm like gobble down a show. A fan. We should find a show and watch it all. You have any suggestions? Yeah.

I'm in the same spot because I just finished Love Island, U.S. So I'm hungry too. Yeah. We're all starving for some time too. I can't get into the love island of it all because it's an episode every day. Except for Wednesdays. That's so funny. Every time I say that to someone, they go, except for Wednesdays, like that's a selling point.

You get a break midweek. Which is also funny because that's hump day. Don't you think they be airing on that day? That's all they're doing on that show. Wow. And did you know they're not drunk? I did not know that. I think they get one drink a day.

That's nice. So they're making these bad decisions on their own. Their own volition. Yeah. That's funny. Mm-hmm. Yeah, most of those dating reality shows get you wasted. And then they make really sloppy bad decisions.

Yeah. I think it's the ultimatum and love is blind. They have those opaque cups. And I was like, sneaky, sneaky. They can be filled to the brim and being refilled. And we don't know. I don't know. I am surprised.

Well, they probably edited it out, but I'm surprised that we don't see footage of people like, like, gone. You know, like throwing up, like super wasted. Maybe it ends that out. Yeah. Or maybe they cut people off? I don't know.

I hope so. Me too. Sometimes there is a bartender. I was like, who's that person? I was like, who's that person? And they're like, oh, it's a bartender. They're not on the show. They're just serving the drinks.

That's great. We're so mad. Who is he? I was like, why didn't they introduce that person? What's his age? What's his location? What's he here? for. What's he into? Why are they chatting

him up? Oh, he's serving the drinks. Got it. That's funny. It's just blank. But we knew what it meant. Let's take a break. Wow. If you've been sitting on a business idea, Shopify makes it easy to make it happen.

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and a real business. So go make it one. Start your free trial at Shopify.com slash best friends. Start your free trial at Shopify.com slash best friends. Hi, I'm Beck Bennett. I thought I was Beck Bennett.

No, no, no, I'm Kyle Mooney. Sorry about that. Exactly. No, all good. All good. Thanks, buddy. Yeah, and we host a show What's our podcast here on Headgum. This podcast is brought to you by Square Spang.

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It's just on my website. Well, it's like, oh, do I need to go to like, do I need another type of website to like find the right pictures or like another type of website to upload the like. Yeah, no, it's all in one place. The video or the audio or like, no, I want, it makes it easy, make it easy on me, please. Yes, and you can do all those things, photos, videos, changing fonts. You know what I mean, the designs are amazing. They're catering to all your different needs.

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Anybody could do it. Ugh, we're back. You go. I forgot to tell you, I saw a man in a store and he said a really funny thing. I hope it's really funny now that I say that. I hope it loves a joy said.

It will. Okay. So he was in front of me. And this is in North Carolina. And the cashier was like, how are you doing? And he was, and he turned to look at me. And he was like, if I was any better, I'd be twins. And then he winked.

Yeah, that's good. Yeah, right. That's really funny. If I was any better, I'd be twins. That's, in the cashier laugh? Oh, yes. Did you laugh? No, because I was like, I don't know why you're looking at me.

I don't want to be a part of this. I think I smile. I think I was like, but I was like, I don't. As I'm holding my groceries. He's honestly probably talking about you right now. He's like, I don't know. I really fucking killed. The cashier was like laughing.

But this lady that I delivered it to, pursed her lips, squinted her eyes, said, and held her groceries to her chest. And I didn't say that I was trying to rob her or anything. I just didn't trust it. I was like, why are you directing this to me? I'm not part of the... I'm not even near you.

Get away from me. He wanted to involve everybody. Honestly, though, very funny. If it was any better, I'd be twins. It's funny. I wonder how many times he's used that. Probably all the time. It came out so naturally.

I was doing a thing that was only funny to me when I was in Atlanta. So there was an ATM right by the elevators, and I needed to use the ATM to get cash. And as I was using it, like a couple passed by me, and I just went like that. Like I pretended like they were trying to take it from me.

And they just looked really confused. But I like really doubled out. I was just like, and then like turned into my money. I started just doing that. Like, if I was getting off the elevator and somebody else was there, I'd be like, and it was for nobody else but me. That's really funny.

Because I really enjoyed people's reactions. They were like, what? That's like the opposite of what this man did, where he's like trying to include other people. You were ostracizing other people, making them feel like they're the problem. Yes. Do you remember when we were in Atlanta, there was like a fight happening? Oh, yes. And I was like, ooh, a fight.

let's go outside. I opened the door and I heard, I'm a fucking kill you. And I went, well, you just closed it. You're like, no, we should stay inside. Actually not for us. Oh my God. It was just instant. It was like the universe going, stay inside. What's wrong with you? Why are you going to the fight? Well, it's like, weird to be near a real fight, you know, rarely near actual violence. Like, you know, there could be like arguments or something in a bar or something, but nothing it's like, oh, people are going to get hurt. Uh-huh. You actually need to call the authorities.

Yeah. And then cop cars came. One cop car was just a pickup truck? Yeah. Which was weird. It was very, very weird. Yeah. That same weekend, a woman touched your head.

My head. It was wild. We were having a nice time at the bar. And the drunkest lady I've ever seen, Weebel wobbled over to you and said, I don't know. Okay, don't take this the wrong. way. I don't know why more African-American women don't do this with their hair. And then her

left hand and right hand came up and closed in on your head. And I am usually the one to like fall back and be like, oh no, but I sprang into action. And I said, no need to touch her. I took that left hand and right hand away. And I said, you'd be really mad if I touched your hair and said, more white women need frizzy hair. And she didn't like that. She's like, come on. Hey! I didn't mean like that. And then some man was like ushering her away. She kept looking at me and being like, I mean, I wasn't saying anything bad. And I was like, bye.

I don't want to help you. Because she, of course, thought she was being nice. But it was so weird. It was bizarre. As soon as she said African American, I was like, this is bad. Yeah, you got to stop, ma'am. No, thank you. Stop yourself from saying whatever you're going to say.

And then it looked like that, ma'am. It was like a vestibule between the bar and the restaurant, but to me I was like, that man put her in a closet. Slip the door in front of her face and she was like, no. It was very funny. But yeah, because I don't have much hair here, she just put her hands on my head. On your head. It was wild.

I did not like it. I didn't like it either. That was like, well, somebody was in my face. We were at McManus. Do you remember this? They were in your neck. Their head was fully in the corner. And I didn't say one word.

I just was like, and you tap, I was fully turned talking to somebody else, and you tapped me lightly on the shoulder. And I turned around, I was like, get off of her. I turned around. His head was in your neck and you were like. And I don't know why I just didn't move him. Can we turn the air on? I'm getting really hot. You must be dying.

I'm steaming. I'm steaming. I was like, damn, this is getting warm in here. Like, all of a sudden, I was like, yes. It happens so quickly. Sometimes I'm down to fight, and then sometimes I'm really like, oh, no. Yeah. You don't want to fight when you're in danger.

But you'll fight when there is no danger to be had. I'm trying to make some danger happen. You create danger. Well, most of the fighting I do is people who aren't acting right. That's true. That is true. Mm-hmm. And it usually happens at the airport, but I'm remembering this one time.

We were at the airport together. and Delta 1 was boarding and somehow you got in front of this really tall man and you turned around, didn't see me, and then you saw me and then you went, excuse me, we're Delta 1? And he goes, so am I. I was also trying to like, get you.

I was like, my friend's behind you? Can you get out of the way? We're boarding. He's like, I am too. I am too. And then I guess I was sitting right in front of him or something, but I was like, oh, it doesn't fit over here. Oh, I guess I'll put it over here.

And I was taking such a long time to put my stuff in the overhead. And I turned around and it was him and I went, I'm sorry. And he was like, it's fine. He like hated us. And I was like, but it wasn't even me. Sorry, you're guilty by association. Excuse me. My friend and I are trying to board where Delta One.

It was so funny. Remember we were flying back from New York And we were in the lounge And there was a child with a scooter And I was like, does that count as her carry-on? Yeah, I couldn't figure it out. And it didn't fold, I didn't understand. No.

It was a scooter. We never saw what happened with a scooter. We sure didn't. And do children get the same carry-on allowances? Ooh, I don't know. Probably because they're, it's, they paid for a seat. Well, they didn't pay. Their parents paid for a seat.

It's probably like whatever the seat. features are. Whatever the seat features are. I mean, you are correct. I just never heard it. Like some seats don't get a certain amount of bags. So it's like you pay for, I don't know, Maine. You get one bag. You paid for Comfort Plus or whatever. I think they also have like basic

like less than Maine where you don't get to bring a bag on. Yeah. And then you have to like pay to check the bag. Yes. And I'm like, who's like really optimizing this? Like, who's flying with nothing? Nobody. They have to pay anyway. So then it's like, they're just trying to get more money. But you could be really fucking thrifty.

Yeah. Pay for basic where you don't get any sort of carry on. I think you get one personal item. Bring, like, your travel essentials, like your toothbrush and stuff, and then go to a thrift store, buy all your clothes, wash them at the holiday in. And then that's what you're wearing. And then are you bringing them back with you?

Donate them. Because you're flying basic back. You still don't have a carry-on. I guess you could. I just cracked the code. Damn, look at that. I'll never do that, though. No, you won't.

No. I was yelling at a man at the airport yesterday. You were at the airport yesterday? Because I picked my partner up. Oh. And at the pickup lane, this man had like a pile of 30 bags on one of those rolly cart things. And he was like just in the middle of where people park.

And it rolled the window down. I was like, you got to move. Because he was waiting for his ride to come. But there was also so much room. He was just like in the most inconvenient spot. And I was honking at him. I was like, you got to move. And he was like, and he like moved back a little bit.

And then moved back again because I guess the car came. And I was like, laid on the horse. I was like, get out of the wood. way. And then, which like I could have just popped over my truck at that point, but also like, get the fuck out of the way. And then I just kept moving closer and closer. I wanted to knock all of his backs down. But I was like, I'll just say I'll not do that. I would have done it. I'm bad. I'm bad. I mean, L.A.X, one of the worst laid out airport in America. They don't have people out there screaming. Yeah. Like at O'Hare.

If you push the break, they go, move! Like, you're still rolling and they scream at you to move. Every other airport. Portland, they scream at you. Yeah. Every, yes, every other airport. Maybe because they understand it's bad. We're a traffic city.

We're famous for our traffic. That's true. We don't have traffic people saying, get it moving? Or maybe they're like, welcome to L.A. Traffic. This is what it'll be like. This is it. For your whole trip. There was the, I had a driver

taking me to the airport the other day and he was explaining, he was, I guess I never thought about how badly laid out L-AX's, but he's like, so you tell me, the buses, the shuttles for the rental cars, the people leaving the parking

garages and people getting picked up and drop off are in the same lane. Correct. That is insane. And I was like, you're right. Yeah. At least buses should be in a different lane. Why are we all in the same lane? We're all in the same lane. but now they've, the inner lanes are for something.

But like barely. But I don't know what. There's so buses in front of me. Why? Yeah, I don't know. I think it's like the fly bus gets the inner lane. Oh, yeah. And that's it.

But I'm like the fly bus, the like rental car, they should be on that side to deline. It's crazy. It's crazy. Mm-hmm. And there are several entrances to the airport, but they're like hidden. Yes. They're like, only the cool people know where those are. It's wild.

It's wild. Hmm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-hmm. It's bad. Mm-hmm. And Terminal 4, the International Terminal, there is no shortcut to get to it.

No. Then there should be. One, two, three, four. It should be. But there's a shortcut to get to seven. Yep. Six. Mm-hmm.

Oh, I don't think five. I don't think five either, actually. That's crazy. Crazy. Who designed it? I wonder. A drunk person. Yeah.

Who designed L.A.X. Was it a drunk? Designed in the late 1950s. There was a joint venture architecture team composed of a couple of different firms. Venture. Venture capitalist. Yeah. They didn't care.

Mm-hmm. Too many cooks. So how many people designed it? The team was Pereira and Luckman, Welton, Beckett, and Associates. and then Paul R. Williams. You think with that many people? That they would think of more than a couple of entrances and exits. How many men does it take to design an airport?

Too many. Not enough. Put that on a popsicle stick. That's a good joke. Yes, it is. Have it be on the front and the back of the popsicle stick. Sish years I made it. Cut the.

That's funny. Should we answer questions and queries? Let's do it. Hi, Nicole and Sashir, huge fan of the podcast and pretty much everything else you both do. I was wondering if you could give me some advice on how to let friends in a bit more. This last year, I had two very major traumatic events take place, and I find I'm not able to reach out to my friends about it. Not because I don't think they would help, but because I know they're also going through their own issues and troubles with life. I'm lucky and have family and a partner who are beyond supportive and always there when I need them,

so I find it's not what I need help from friends so much as I would like them to be aware of my life. As well, I want to make sure that they are not thrown when I'm not my normal self when we speak. For context, I'm a deeply private person and don't like drawing unnecessary attention. I don't post anything about my life on socials and often forget to tell people about big things in my life. With one of my best friends, I failed to mention buying a house until she was coming to visit and I had to say, oh yeah, don't go to that address. I moved recently. It's not that I don't like celebrating the wins or getting help and the losses. It's just more not my style to randomly text life updates. Instead, they get bombarded with thoughts and ideas I find interesting or think they would find interesting and then the life step can come up when it comes up in conversation. However, now these two things have taken place and they likely will have a lasting impact on who I am as a person. So I feel like I need to reach out and let them know that I might not be my

myself for a while. How do I send that message? My three best friends all live a minimum of two hours away so it's not like I can take them for coffee and explain the situations. And phone calls and texts are so difficult to send with all the context. Any idea how to drop a bomb on a friend without making them feel like they need to drop everything to come help? For context, one was a medical trauma and the other one was a car wreck that I'm lucky to be alive from. Thank you so much. Love you guys. This one is tough for me. I tell everybody my business. You're always

spilling the beans. I don't have a good bean jar. My beans keep getting loose. I got loose beans. I feel like, well, no, you tell me a lot. We're not private folks. We're not private folks.

I guess. I'm sure there's people that I've spoken to and been like, I didn't know that happened to you. Mm-hmm. But I guess also that's probably because they weren't close to me. I can't say that I've had any best friends where I'm like, where I don't know big things or they don't know big things that's happening in my life. Yeah. But I think if it's a health thing or like something that probably will affect your demeanor or your life, they should know.

Mm-hmm. And I think a phone call is reasonable. I don't think you don't have to have a sit down for this. especially if they're two hours away. And I think you can also just be like, I'm sharing this because you guys are important to me, and I know my M.O. I don't share things, but like this I actually really wanted to share with you

because you people are important to me. Yeah. You people use their names. You people. And they're like, what do you mean? You people. What? Salt.

Hey ladies. Nicole and Sashir. I adore you both so much, and I would really appreciate your insight on my efforts to make friends as a 35-year-old woman. Let's say my name is Chris and my pronouns are she, her. I just moved to LA before the pandemic and oh, hey, I'm a nurse. I jokingly say that the pandemic broke my brain and I don't know how to be human anymore. I've had a really hard time making friends and connections. And yes, I do have a

therapist. Shout out to Lena. You're a bad bitch and we love you. I play roller derby. Well, I used to in my mid-early 20s, but I had to give it up for nursing school. Then I moved, then the pandemic, blah, blah, blah. Anyways, this past year I've been getting. back into it. I love it. I love the people. I love the sport. I love my league and teammates. If you're in the L.A. area, you must check out Angel City Roller Derby. We have some of the best players in the world and it's always a good time. As I'm starting to take these deeper connections with some of my teammates, I'm struggling to let my guard down. I feel myself keeping people at arms distance and I'm afraid to get comfortable and connected. But I am starting to get more

involved with these friends by carpooling or extracurricular activities. What do you do when you do when you start seeing red flags in a person when you're just getting to know them. I don't want to be mean, but I'm really trying to open up and make some friends and connections. But I'm noticing some habits and behaviors I don't really like. This one person is nice and I can tell she needs some support, but she's already way overstepping boundaries that I have a hard time setting. So it isn't like they're clear boundaries anyway. I would like to know what you would do. Do I just keep showing up and give it some more time? Am I being intolerant? I don't want to pull away and isolate like I tend to do when I'm overwhelmed or uncomfortable.

Do I need to just kiss a few frog friends to find the right ones? And what do you do if you decide that someone isn't really the right fit as a friend, but they're your teammate and you have to work with them and trust them, like literally trust them with your bodily safety and well-being? Side note, I'm a chronic people pleaser and a peacekeeper, and I'm terrible at setting boundaries. I promise I've been working on it in therapy, but we got a ways to go. Anyway, I appreciate any words of advice or tips. I think y'all are the bees' knees.

Thank you so much for your time. Yeah. The only way I feel like I can answer to this, is to like compare it to improv, where I met people. I was like, oh, I like that person. And I was like, uh-uh. I actually don't think I like that person.

And I don't know if that's happened with, like, teammates, like people I was in a group with. Yeah. Because I feel like it was like just people in the world. that I was like, oh, yeah, you're not for me. Oh, you're for me. You're not for me. But I think being cautious isn't bad.

Feeling out how you feel who you're not getting red flags from. I think those are the people that you gravitate towards like one-on-one hangs with. Yeah. But also, friendships aren't all perfect. You know, sometimes someone could be toxic in one way but great in another way. So that's your friend for how they're great. And maybe you don't go to them for, you know, sad times or something. Yeah.

I've definitely made, I have friends who are close now that when I first met them, I was like, I don't know about you. And then the more we were around each other, I was like, oh, I do know about you. Now I understand you a little bit better. And I understand why you were the way you were when we first met. And that's okay with me. But also, I've definitely met people where I'm like, mm, don't like. and never have liked, never will.

Name names. No, I'm just kidding. So I guess if you see things that you're like, I don't love that, I think you have to figure out, is this a like hard-nose situation? Or is it like a, maybe it's like a flaw that, you know, isn't the worst. Yeah. I think when I said toxic, I maybe used a word that was like a little too harsh. It's like, does this person sometimes sneeze and not cover their mouth?

It's like, I don't like that. It's like, oh, maybe we can overlook that and work on that. But I agree with you. It's like, is it a huge red flag or is it like, are you getting the ick too quick over nothing? Ooh, yeah. The ick to quick over nothing. The ick too quick over nothing. The ache too quick over nothing.

The ick too quick, ick too quick, ick to quick, ick to quick. Took it right out of me. I'm so tired. Solve Solve Well If you have any questions or queries You can email us at Nicole

And sashir at gmail.com We also have a number 323 238 6554 Yeah All right Bye That was a hate gum podcast

I don't know There's still some time left Oh just in time for my favorite season Fall? No. Best Friends Tour season. Oh, yes. I always forget about Best Friends Tour season. It's the most wonderful time of the year. And it starts on October 7th at the Aladdin Theater in Portland, Oregon. And then you have to have the traditional October 8th show at the Neptune Theater in Seattle, Washington. And then everyone gathers around Cobb's Comedy Club in San Francisco for a show on October 9th. One of my favorite parts of Best Friends Tour season is the No one of the No one.

November 3rd show at Talia Hall of Chicago. I broke a toilet there. I love the November 4th show at the Wilbur and Boston. Oh, that's a really good part. Oh, what about the November 6th show at City Winery in Philadelphia? Love that. And of course, there's the November 7th show at the Howard Theater in D.C. And as we all know, the season ends on November 8th at the Gramercy Theater in New York.

Oh, it really is. Oh, it really is the most magical time of the year. People can start getting ready early this year by getting their tickets now. Yeah!