Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Nicole and Sasheer Chat Dolphins and Capitalism

Episode Date: June 3, 2026

Nicole and Sasheer are back for another extra special silly solo episode of Best Friends! Nicole recently heard an incredible story about an underwater dolphin village, which would be so much fun to believe is real but sadly is not. Our fave pair then learns about rice paddies, the history of the life saver candy, as well as plan an influencer pyramid scheme where influencers influence other influencers to influence other influencers to.... you get it! Watch this full video on YouTube and follow below!Follow Nicole: Twitter, Instagram, TikTokFollow Sasheer: Instagram, TikTokLike the show? Rate Best Friends 5 stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts!Have a friendship question for Nicole and Sasheer to solve? Leave us a voicemail at [phone]‬ or write in at [e-mail] Friends is a production of Headgum Studios. Our producer is Allie Kahan. Our executive producer is Anya Kanevskaya. The show is edited, mixed, and engineered by Richelle Chen.This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Best Friends via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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This is a headgum podcast. Hello, Csuchin. Hello, Nicole. You look like a bobblehead. Yeah. Yeah. I'm constantly surprising myself. And me.

How are you? I'm good. How are you? A little throaty. Oh, no. Why are you throaty? I actually don't know. Maybe because I was on a plane recently.

But truly, like, the next day when I got back to L.A., I was like, oh, no, I hope we're not sick. I'm really willing myself to not be sick. You do that a lot. I'll never forget when we had COVID coming back from Africa. and I shouldn't just say Africa. We were flying back from Kenya, right, Nairobi? Yeah. Coughing at each other's faces, sniffling on the plane.

I landed and I was like, I think we have COVID. And you're like, no, we don't. Can't be me. Sorry for your loss. But I took a test and I was like, well, I have it. And you went, I don't think I do. I probably don't. And I was like, sissy or police test.

Yeah, and I did have it. You have it. Yeah. Yeah, I don't want it though. I don't think I have COVID. No. But I did slam down some mucinex and I think I'll be okay. I did slam on down some mucinex.

I have not taken anything. That's my problem. When I have like, when people get like tickles, they like take things. I wait for the tickle to become like a full-blown scratch. Oh, no, I want to nip it in the butt. I don't want to become full-blown. I don't know why that was so funny to me I don't want it to become full-blown

I don't want to become full-blown We went whale watching a while ago I don't think we've talked about it But while we were on the boat It was you, me, Dipper and Meatball And on the boat this year was like I said something about I wanted the whales to take me Away from this life

Big dream of mine It's all I ever want And you were like Well, did you hear about that man who was taken by the dolphins? And I was like, what? Yeah. Apparently it's not real because I've really been invested in this. I still want to believe it, though.

Well, I was deciding that this was going to be the conspiracy theory, like, my QAnon. Because everyone needs their own Q&ONON. Of course. But it was, like, first published on a site called, like, Men's Humor. And I was like, well, that sucks. This can't be my hue and not. Yeah. If it's men's humor.

Especially if it's men's humor. If it was like, Lady Tiggles, I'd be like, well, okay. There might be some points to this. But if you don't know what we're talking about, a man was found in Florida on a causeway, which I guess is like the middle, like the median of a highway. And he said that dolphins had taken him underwater for three. days, the leader's name was Gerald. Gerald was the one, it's so wild, how much I remember.

Gerald was the one in charge of his breathing. And Gerald wanted a underwater like condominium for the dolphins. Like town squares? Like a rec center. And that he had like pulled permits inside. But apparently it's not real. But like no part of it was. Apparently no part of it is.

real. Not even the guy who was found? I don't think so. I think the whole thing was made up. Man. Right? I want to believe in something. Here I feel the same way. I just want to believe in something. I just want to believe in something. Nothing's real. Yeah. There's too many fake things. I don't like that. Me either. I wanted to believe that maybe I had a chance to meet Gerald. And I want to know what these dolphins are up to. What about the city? Did they ever get their rec center? Did the permits clear?

That would be so funny if even underwater there was bureaucracy, and it was like hard to push permits through. It was like an HOA. A dolphin HOA. Which would be the worst. They're bullies. Dolphins, yeah. Yeah.

They'll kill you with their freaking sonar. What? Yeah. But, like, their noise, like, they have, like, a noise blast and it'll, like, rip up your organs. Is that real? I'm pretty sure that's true. Is that real? I'm pretty sure.

So, she is. I know it sounds crazy. I mean, there's an ex-man who has that power. They're in the water. The X-men are in the water. They send out a sound blast. And I'm sure those terms are not official. It's probably not.

sound blast and they probably don't rip up your organs, but it's something along the lines of that. Wait, is it true, Halley? Yeah, so some researchers theorize that at close range dolphin sonar could cause cavitation, which is the tearing apart of molecular structures in soft tissues or cell membranes. It's basically what I said. It is, yeah, rips up your inside. But despite this theoretical power, there's no documented cases of wild dolphins using sonarer. are to injure humans.

But they could. But is there proof of that, of them doing that for animals? This also must be like the fifth episode where we've talked about dolphins. Honestly, I think it's so much. I think it's more so sure. Probably more. But they're doing so many things. Dolphins are wild.

They're wild. They really are wild. I just, I love them so much. I, it blows me away that they're so, like, evil. Yeah. Yes, they can use their sonar to locate stun or flush out prey like fish. Wow. Yeah.

I want to go snorkeling again. You didn't have the greatest time last time we went snorkeling. I didn't. But I love it. Yeah. If it's like calm waters, we were like in the ocean. We were like we jumped off a boat to be in more water. If we're like walking from the coast, it's a little easier.

me. Yes. Or truly just like, when I was in Greece, we were in like the nicest calmest water. Yeah. But we did have to swim a very long way to get to the land. And then on the way back, I remember Mano being like, diva, are you okay? And I was like, that's the only thing about activities on vacation. Nobody ever goes, what's your fitness level? And here's what you actually have to do? Like, I don't have to have a workout regimen to do things on my vacation. I don't know to prep. To be like, I need to make sure I have the stamina to swim all the way to that boat. Right?

And I was like, what if I was hung over? Would you give me there? What if I couldn't do it? I guess I give you like a, what is those things called? A lifesaver? A lifesaver? No. That's candy.

But it's shaped like a... I think it's named after the thing. Crazy. Which also... Why would they choose that item to make candy out of? Why were they like, someone saw a lifesaver on a boat and was like, you know what, I need to make these things jelly. These need be gummified.

They didn't start off gummy. Oh, that's true. They were hard. Mm-hmm. And I prefer those, but the gummy ones have really taken over. They have. Mm-hmm. I see them more than the hard ones.

Same. But I like a gummy one. I like a chewing one more than the hard ones. I enjoy a gummy one, but I really do love an old school, heart, the lifesaver. Because it reminds me of childhood. Yeah. And I really missed that time. It seemed like things were easier. Definitely. It's too complicated now. Mm-hmm. I agree. Right? Yeah. Did you ever eat airheads as a kid? I did. Yes. Um, yeah, actually a lot. Really? Yeah, I feel like maybe they're at my school or something, but I have a memory of, of, like, of, like, like eating like many of them.

And then there was also the white ones. Yes, the mystery ones. That was fun. But what was the flavor? Did we never solve it? I thought it changed. Oh. And I was like, guess which one's this one?

And they'd taste me and be like, I think it's blueberry or whatever. Maybe he didn't change it was the same. I thought it was just mystery flavor and we're never going to solve it. It never occurred to me that they would like change the flavors. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. Me either. I just assumed it was like an existing flavor, but we didn't know which one it was because the rapper was white. So the Airhead Mystery flavor is a combination of two or more standard existing flavors like cherry, strawberry, orange grape, green apple, or blue raspberry. And it's produced when switching between flavors without stopping the assembly line.

That's so funny. Yeah. I mean, that's, I mean, that is cool. So you actually. So it is different flavors. Yeah. That's really cool. And not wasteful. No. What a fun company.

My mother never bought us airheads. I had an airhead from a kid in school, and I was like, whoa. Your mom just buys these free? That would happen all the time because my mom didn't buy, like, fun stuff for us. Yeah. She would buy things she liked, which is an interesting way to parents. What does she like? So she liked things like, I'm trying to think.

She loved potato chips, lays potato chips with hot sauce. So there was always lays potato chips. I liked Fritos. There was never any Fritos in the house. It was always Lays potato chips. Which also, I mean, maybe this is inaccurate, but for some reason, I, no, maybe. I was going to say, in my mind, Fritos feels a lot of, healthier.

Yeah, go on. But I'm also like, they're probably all unhealthy. Yes, this year. They're all bad. But I guess a corn chip for some reason feels like, I don't know, of the earth. But I guess potatoes are also of the earth. I don't know, for some reason. That's really funny.

I love that immediately you're on my side. You should have your corn chips. Give your kid corn chips. They're healthy. Yeah. And then my mom, I'm trying to think of what candies she liked. Because she also loved full, full flavor diet or coax. Sorry, not Diet Coke's.

Just like a full diet. Why do I keep saying diet? Because you like diet? Because I like diet. Yes. But she like full-bodied Coca-Cola. There we go. Full-blown Coca-Cola.

Oh, she liked Mr. Goodbars. I don't know, Mr. Goodbar. Many people aren't really up on the chocolate peanut butter scenario past a peanut M&M. But a Mr. Good Bar is a chocolate bar, just regular milk chocolate with peanuts slapped in there. Oh, sounds good. I like them, but I preferred Reese's peanut butter cups or a Kit Kat. I love Reese's. Oh, me too.

And did you know they're putting real peanut butter back in it? Oh, and I'm sorry. Real chocolate? So is the peanut butter not real? Well, they have like, it's not just, it's not like creamy peanut butter. It's like, you know, it's like kind of crumbled. But it's the chocolate that was not real chocolate. And then the son of Mr. Reese's, I think, is back in control of the company.

I skimmed it. And he was like, we need real chocolate. So by 2027, most of it will be real chocolate. I mean, amazing. And also, what? Yeah. Isn't that wild? No.

Yuck. Well, am I right? Yeah, you're right. It was a, they were using a compound coating. So they were using a vegetable oil instead of like cocoa. Mmm. Yeah. Hmm.

Yeah. And have you ever clocked that chocolate from like Mexico or Europe just taste better than our chocolate? Oh, definitely. Yeah. It's because they use. I think it's a, I think it's like a citric acid or something to make it stay fresh, but it's the same acid your mouth produces when you vomit. Can you double check that?

Yeah. Just to make sure I'm not lying to all of our besties. Wait, this are listeners. The citric acid is something. Okay. The acid that they, whatever, like a preservative that they used is like the same chemical compound that your mouth creates when you vomit. Whoa. Yeah, they both contain butyric acid, and that is produced during manufacturing to make milk, shelf, stable, and is also found in vomit, Parmesan cheese, and rancid butter.

It's not intentionally added, but its presence creates a tangy, acidic flavor that many find unpleasant or vomit-like. And Hershey's got a lot of fun. flack for using this. They quietly replaced their original the cocoa butter with like this compound that had this taste, but now they're switching it back and everything should be real chocolate again by 2027.

Amazing. It's wild that I remember the year. I was like by 2027, we're all going to have our chocolate back. But isn't that nuts? I did see a video where this woman took a chocolate bar and was like bending it pretty much. It looked like rubber.

Yeah, it's because it's that coding. It's really, it's wild. Why are they doing this to us? I don't I guess capitalism is like, we keep talking about capitalism as well. Dolphins and capitalism.

Dolphins and capitalism. This sounds like a really funny B movie. Dothins and capitalism. Dolphins in a bunch of suits. I would really like someone to draw that. If you're listening and you have a talent, please draw us some dolphins and

suits. Um, uh-oh. Oh, yeah. So it's like the people at the top make these insane choices to like poison the people at the bottom. But I'm like, well, if you kill them, who's going to buy your stuff? That's like my main issue. Yeah. Because I'm like, I feel like you're not thinking about the consumer, the person buying your stuff. You have to like kind of keep them around so they continue to buy. Yeah. And like, you know, like, you know, You won't have to pay so many lawsuits if you don't poison people. You know who's not being poisoned? Our breaks.

We should take one. We've all had those nights, the ones where you laugh until the sun comes up, or conversations, go places they've never gone before, and you walk away feeling closer to the people around you than you have in years. That's still O'Sibant. It doesn't just open doors in your mind. It opens them between people. This episode is brought to you by Schedule 35, the most tribut.

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That's L-E-E-S-A-com, promo code, best friends. for 25% off select mattresses plus an extra $50 off. Support our show and let them know we sent you after the checkout. Lisa.com promo code best friends. As best friends, we've taken a lot of really fun trips together over the years. A few years ago, we went on a trip to Lake Arrowhead where we booked a stay on Airbnb with a group of friends to celebrate one of their birthdays. It was important to us that we had a private space that felt like our

own while also feeling like we were on vacation. We ended up staying in this really, really cute A-frame house with amenities like a hot tub in the backyard, a pool table for game nights, and even a grill for barbecueing. I still think about that trip all the time and how hard we laughed. And part of what it made it so special was Airbnb. Airbnb gives you more space, more privacy, see better locations and beautiful homes to make vacation memories in. We'd rather meet up in a living room than a hotel lobby. And booking stays through Airbnb makes that possible. Boy, that was organic.

Very, we're back. We're back. We're back. We like the food we like to eat. Organic. I have blueberries now at the farm. Really? Mm-hmm.

What do blueberries grow off of? A vibe? No. A tree? Maybe. Tomatoes grow on trees? It's funny. I grow all these things.

So it's, but they're potted. So like, do you know what I mean? I don't know what a tree is in a pot. But it's a little branch, branch, branch, and it branches off. And then off of the little branches are individual little blueberries. Ooh. And they're so sweet and good. Amazing.

One of my harvests was a bunch of blueberries, a couple of strawberries. and then went to a bar, had them in a Ziploc bag, and gave them to friends who very politely went, mm. And I didn't realize how unhinged it was until they were going, you know, people's eyes get big and look at you, and they're like, yes! And you're like, oh, no, I'm wrong.

I'm wrong, I'm wrong. I'm wrong. Just tell her it's good. Just tell her it's good. Just tell her it's good. But I wanted to know, is there something from your, youth that you really enjoyed that you haven't had in a while that you finally had again. Mine's bugles. I didn't even know they still sold bugles. They do. Did you do the thing? Yes, I did.

In my car. I was on my way to a friend's house at a red light. I put them on my nails. Yeah. And then I went, ah! And then hate them as I drove. And then couldn't stop laughing. I was going to Mark Rennie's house. And then I passed Ramah Drugs at. And I could, like, if there was like a fly in the car, they were like, I think I'm going to die. I was crazy. I had funions at some point and was like, they're good. They're like not for normal consumption. I remember you ate a lot of funions in our 20s, probably.

It's a good drunk food. Yeah, I get snack food. They're tasty. They're fun onions. I love a crunch. I guess so. Like onion rings kind of fried? Maybe you're fried onions.

No, but they're fun. No, but they're fun. No, but they're fun. They're fried onions. No, they're just fun. But it's not fronians. It is an onion. I actually don't know if it actually is an onion.

What's a funion? I thought it was just like crunchy air. Funions are not made with real onions. but they're made from cornmeal that's put into a ring shape fried and then seasoned with onion powder. Oh. Corn and onion. Healthy.

Healthy by your standards. Oh, my God. I almost sent you this video. There was a man who was making a hot dog and made a video about him making a hot dog. It was kind of wild. And he seasoned the hot dog. With what? He put onion powder on it.

And then he like put it on a pan? Or was he? He seasoned it And he crosshatched them And then he put them in a pan with tinfoil And then put them in the oven That's way more work Than I've ever anticipated anyone to use on a hot dog

So much work And at every turn I was like, whoa, what? Did the end result look good? It looked like a cook hot dog A cooked hot dog, but it had like sprinkles of seasoning on it. Because you can't rub in the seasoning. It's in a casing. On top of it.

Yes. And he was going, mm-mm, mm-mm. You're lying, sir. I think so. It was wild. And in the oven? Yes. Who's putting a hot dog in the oven?

There's so many other ways to make it. The grill. Yeah. A pan. Uh-huh. boil it. Yeah. Even a microwave.

Yes. But the oven is just wild. Yeah. Wild behavior. It just also like, I feel like it takes up too much energy to heat up a whole oven for a hot dog. He did make four at a time, though. Oh, well, in that case, that feeds a family. Yeah, he was feeding his family.

I have made it. So he does these videos where he goes, he starts them. Have you noticed like influencers tell you who they are every single video? Yeah. I got to put my phone down because the start of his videos is, here's a Saturday in the day of a taken bachelor in D.C. And I was like, but then you're not a bachelor. A taken bachelor?

Yeah. Unless he's just stepping out on his wife. I didn't even think of that. Maybe this hot dog cooking oven man is just. cheating and that's what I'm watching him do around DC. I also watched this other video of a lady who was like, I can't remember what she is, but she's like, hi, I'm 25, I'm a fashionista, I'm living in Virginia,

I have an ankle monitor on, and I'm dating. I'm intrigued. I want to see this. Their date consisted of, they went and got coffee, they went to Walmart, they went to, I think, Target, and then they went swimming. And then the end of the video was them in the pool.

And then I guess he was operating a drone because there was a drone shot at the end of the video. And I was like, this is... That's a lot. And can she get in the pool with an ankle monitor? She was fully submerged. Oh. I would assume, yes.

Yeah, you got a shower. That's true. They probably anticipate people having water escape. Can't fizzle out in the water? That's really funny. I truly was like, gotta put my fucking phone down. What am I doing? And then I was watching, I don't know if we talked about this,

but it was a lady who talked like she was talking to a bunch of people. And then I looked at her followers and I was like, but you only have like 100. And then she opened a package and she was like, head and shoulders sent me this shampoo for some reason. And I guess we'll just like open it up and see what it smells like. And I was like, I think this is your Amazon box. Why are you pretending the head and shoulders?

Yeah. Also buy something better. Yeah. I wonder if. Like, are we all in a psychosis? It feels like it a little bit. Like, well, they one day be like, well, that was crazy. I had a moment where I was pretending brands were sending me things.

Why was I doing that? I guess it's like Because everyone wants to be an influencer? Not everyone, but a lot of people do. If there's no one to influence, how is there an influencer? Yeah, dress for the job you want. But if we're all influencers, who are we influencing? But I would imagine influencers still get influenced.

Influencing is such a pyramid scheme. Do you know what I mean? What are we all doing? If you influence your following, you can influence these people. We should do an influencer pyramid scheme. We teach classes on how to influence the influencers. And then once you pass that class, you start teaching classes on how to influence the influencers. I mean, it's like a pyramid scheme.

I think so. Well, we just told everyone it was a pyramid scheme. But if you sign up today. We promise it's not a pyramid scheme. It only starts being an pyramid scheme in 2027. When the real chocolate's back. Oh, hell breaks loose. Oh, my God.

That really got me good. Sashir. I texted you this. And you also didn't know this fact. Mm-hmm. And I've been repeating it to several people. And you're the only other person who didn't know this. Ali, I'm going to ask you this.

Did you know rice is found in a field and not made in a factory? Okay. Everybody knows this. And I said this to my therapist, and she blinked so many times at me that I was like, I think I've finally stumped her. I've told her so many other traumatic things. And she's been like, let's hold some space. But she, like, blinked in a way that I was like, did I break her?

Is the Zoom blink broken? Well, wait, why did you bring it up just to see if she knew that fact? Okay. Because I need to know why I was, why were the only two people in the world? I just truly never thought about it, like, at all. Kind of like the same thing with like tomatoes and blueberries, is where I'm like, oh, I guess what? Is it a vine or a tree?

I have no idea. And with rice, I guess, yeah. In my mind, I never thought where it comes from before it gets to the store. Literally don't know. Well, I've been fucking with Jeopardy. Okay. Because there's a man named Jamie Ding, who's on his, I think, 27th day winning. I've talked about this on another podcast.

I love Jamie Ding. Okay. He knows everything. And he's really sweet. So we're watching Jeopardy, me and that nice man in my life. And I can't remember what the clue was, but it was just like wheat making product, something. And I went, rice. And that nice man was like, what do you mean?

Made product. Like, do you think rice is made? And I was like, yeah, I'm the factory with pasta. And he was like, wait, I need you to explain that. And I was like, explain what? They make pasta. They crank it out. And then you cut it up and then you boil it and then you cut it.

And he was like, so you've never heard of like a rice paddy field or something. And I was like, is that what it's called a rice paddy field? And I was like, I haven't. Maybe. Maybe that's where they find the source of the rice before it goes to the factory. That's where they find the rice goop before they form it. And then they form it. It's a little rice colors.

And he had so many questions. And I was like, I don't, fuck, I don't know. I mean, yeah, maybe it's only because I also didn't know this. I'm like, I feel like that's not crazy. Me either. But everyone I've asked has been like, this is nuts. Huh? Yes, everyone.

Like, and our group chat, Tess sent me a picture of a rice patty. And then on another group chat, the same picture was sent to me. And I was like, so does everyone have these rice patties saved in their phones? That's really funny. But wait, where is rice harvested? It comes out of like the waters or something. But like what waters? I think in Thailand.

Okay, so like, why would we know that? Not why would we know that? But like, I've passed wheat fields. I've passed corn fields. I've passed other fields. I've never passed a rice lake. I don't think the rice lakes are here. Exactly.

So, okay, rice is predominantly harvested in Asia, which is 90% of global production. And I said Thailand. That's so crazy that I was like. One country makes rice. India and China are number one and number two. But then in the U.S., it's mostly in Arkansas. And then California, Louisiana, Mississippi, Missouri. Here?

No. Crazy that we could visit a rice field. We should visit a rice field. I would. Let's do it. Also, that nice man, I was like, so wait, you can just go. to a rice field, take rice home, and then like eat it. And he was like, well, you have to boil it or you have to cook it first.

And I was like, well, duh. He was like, well, he was like, actually, you can't say duh right now. He's like, I don't know what you know. I don't know what you know. That's very funny. They're in Sacramento. That's pretty close. That's our state capital.

Mm-hmm. I've been on Jeopardy. I said like, I'll know some things. Not all things. Some things. Yeah. You knew that one. I sure do.

What is Sacramento? Nice. You did a celebrity jeopardy? No. Okay. I want to so bad. But as I watch, I'm like, the buzzer might be very tricky for me. I've heard it's tricky.

Because I think you can only buzz in as soon as the question ends. I do not believe you can buzz in early. Or maybe I'm a liar. That sounds right. Because I feel like you have an unfair. if you did it early. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Because the way I answer questions from my couch is sometimes I've skimmed to the bottom, went back to the top, and I can answer it. So I can answer it before the question has been finished. Mm-hmm. Yeah, they probably have it so as soon as he finishes, then you get in it. But it's kind of a wild game because you got to know things and you have to have good reflexes. Yeah. And like sometimes people who know things don't have good reflexes.

And sometimes I don't know anything. Oh, I can dodge anything, but oh boy, don't ask me a question. Would you do Celebrity Jeopardy? I don't know. I don't know. Because I don't know if I know that many things.

Like, I mean, I know a lot of stuff. But, like, when it comes to trivia, like, facts about the world. Mm-hmm. I don't know if I would do well. I think you know more than you think. So, like, sure. The bottom clues are going to be harder than the top ones,

but the top ones are almost always just like basic stuff you know from school. Oh, okay. Mm-hmm. Well, maybe. And then Celebrity Jeopardy, not as hard as real jeopardy because they know. There's a lot of softball questions. Mm-hmm. Because they know.

Yeah. Some of us didn't go to college. That was true. I didn't. You did, though. I did. Yeah. And I liked it.

Do you have your degree hung up? up somewhere? It's definitely framed. I don't think it's hung up anywhere, though. I think it's still at my mom's house. Somewhere. Do people hang their degrees? I feel like if you do something where people do care about your degree, usually it's hung in like their office. Like, you're a doctor, psychologist, or whatever. But I don't know, yeah. Like for the art, But they're just like hanging it so I know that they went to college. That is what it feels like. They're like, just so you know.

I know what I'm talking about. I studied. It's like, could have printed that out anywhere. You're so right. They could have. We should start a company where we just print out diplomas for people. After you take our influencer course, we'll give you a diploma that you can hang to prove your knowledge. I just want to start a business.

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at Shopify.com slash best friends. Go to Shopify.com slash best friends. That's Shopify.com slash best friends. Best friends. We're back. Yeah, I don't know. For whatever reason, I'm like, let's start a business. Let's start a business.

Apparently blockbusters are going to be coming back. I love that so much. I'm pretty excited. Yeah. I don't know. I like physical media. Yeah, I think a lot of people are craving physical media. Although, you know what's funny?

So I have like a lot of books in my house. And I read halves of books, and I don't have. finish them. But the other day I was like, I can donate these. So then I can get more books to read half of. So I have like a box of books and stuff that I'm going to donate. And I'm like, I'm excited to like clear a little space on my bookshelf. Oh good. Where are you going to donate them? I was going to take them to the, there's a Salvation Army that just opened in Glendale that isn't full of fun stuff yet. So I was going to go bring some fun stuff to the That can be fun stuff, yeah.

Or do you think I should donate it to, like, children with hungry eyes who want to read? Yeah, you know those hungry-eyed children organizations? I was actually going to say a woman's prison. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. Or there's definitely, we can research online, but there's definitely organizations where they, like, would love books. Okay. Yeah.

There have been a nice time next door. This is like a bad time, actually. Oh, see, that's funny. When I hear, like, screaming, I automatically assume nice time. Until I hear, like, a mean thing where I'm like, oh, no. Bad times are happening. Oh. Yeah, I hear screaming and I'm like, oh, no, danger.

But, you know, maybe we're just raised differently. I think it's because I'm loud. Yeah, yeah. And you're like, if I'm loud, I'm having a great time. I'm having a great time. I'm having a great time. Also having great time. Oh my God.

Yesterday, I heard a commotion outside, and I looked on my camera, and there was just a lone child, and I didn't see any adult. And I just put my phone down and went about my business. Nicole. What if he was lost? What if they needed help? What if they got kidnapped right after you put your phone down? You could be like, hey, kid, do you need help?

Someone could have been following them down the street, and they were on the camera yet. Do you even check to see where the kid went after that? Did you see if an adult reunited with them on the footage? No. No, I just, I heard just a commotion. What was the commotion? Were they screaming? It wasn't like a scream.

I didn't like hear. Is he like, help? Help me. No, I feel like I heard like, we. Like, I don't know. Like, I just, like I heard a high-pitched voice. I looked and I was like, oh, a kid. And I did clock that he was alone.

And then I was like, oh, whatever. And then put my phone down. Yeah, maybe I should have checked. But that's crazy. Were they on a bike? No. They're just walking? Yeah.

That's even more says. They're just taking a walk by themselves? But I didn't think that like his we or her we. I didn't think they're we matched baby. I thought it was like an adult saying, Wee. Uh-huh. So I was like, maybe I just can't see the adult.

Maybe. I'm really trying to make myself sound not terrible. You've never just, like, looked at your cameras and saw a child and said, oh, okay. I've never. Never. No. Okay. All right.

Mind my own business. Kind of. Let them do their thing. What would happen if I rushed outside and then there was an adult playing with their child? And then I go, oh. I was looking at you all through my cameras and I thought your child was alone. You don't have to rush outside. You could just go outside and open the door and be like, okay, everything looks good here.

And then close the door and go back to your life. Okay. I mean, it's, they're probably fine. They're probably fine. I think so. It is funny that I truly have more concern for the possum that comes to my backyard sometimes. Mm-hmm. Because I saw him and I got up.

And I was like, oh my God, the boss of! But I saw a child and I went, well, it's fine. They're fine. There was an adult there. I'm 100% sure. Yeah, yeah. It would be crazy. There was just a child walking around.

Yeah, the adult was like, follow me. In a fun way. Home, because I'm your mommy. Exactly. It is wild when you say things out loud and you're like, huh? I did the opposite of what I should have done. Whoops. The, I saw all my ring camera, the gang of coyotes are back.

Oh, I saw a coyote last night and took maybe the worst picture. I've ever taken. When you look at it, hold up, I'll show you. Please. Potato. It's, you're going to be so, your world will be rocked. I was not moving. the coyote was barely moving.

Also, the coyote's kind of the only blurry thing in this picture. I can see a sign clear. I see a bush very clearly. This coyote is shaking. That doesn't even actually make sense. I don't know. I don't know how I take pictures. I don't know.

It's, yeah, that is actually really wild. Like it's a ghost coyote. But I swear it was, he was. He was bopping along. Whoa. Yeah, I... That's, like, one of the, like, the oldest thing about me is I cannot take a picture. It's pretty funny.

Like, I'm just an old lady about it. Most of my pictures have my nails in them. And sometimes when I'm taking the picture, I'm like, well, how do I get the nail out? And then I'll be, like, moving. Like, where did they... Which nail is it? And people are smiling hard, and I'm like, God, I got to take this picture. It's a lot of pressure.

It is. That's how I am at concerts when I, like, film something. I'll forget and I'll just be like, like, the footage later is like just moving around. I'm like at the floor for a little bit and it's like, oh, yes, back to this. That's very, very funny. That's why I don't do. I like, at every concert, I do the first song or my favorite song, but then I just put my phone down and I have a nice time because I'm not a good documentarian. Yeah, same.

Not here for that. Speaking of documentaries. That nice man in my life put on that Malanya movie as like a ha-ha joke. The movie is a ha-ha joke. It's really weird. It's just her walking around a lot. And then being like, I want to wear this. And then they go, okay.

And then they put her in those clothes. It's so strange. I don't understand why the movie got made. How long is the movie? Oh, I simply don't know. We didn't finish it, yeah? No, nobody finished it. I tapped out.

He was fast-forwarding through it when I was closing my eyes. I didn't even clock it. Yeah. It was just, I, has there ever been another president who's been, like a sitting president who's been in a documentary that was put in theaters? I can't think of one. Me either. But presidents are my blind spot in jeopardy. I was going to say, we also have a current president that's doing a lot of things that have never been done in history.

Yeah. Mm-hmm. Well, can't sit there too long. Yeah. Sad. You got any hot weekend plans? We're getting close to the weekend. Some hot weekend plans?

Oh, boy. Since you know it's Thursday. I mean, yeah. Since you went to school and got an education and everything. Since you're so smart and it was Thursday. Um, hmm. No. I mean, I have a lot of plans, but they're not hot.

Oh. Luke warm. No, sure, I guess. I'm in a musical, so I'm doing some recordings for that, and that's fun and exciting. And going to a dinner on Saturday night. And we're doing dinner on Sunday night. Who are you going to dinner with on Saturday? Our other friends.

Oh. You were invited. Oh, I was? You were invited. I was? You were invited, like weeks ago. Tessa sent a thing to the whole chain and was like, this dinner's happening. It's like a, we have friends who do this.

And did I respond? I think you did, but I don't remember what your response was. But it was like a thing where you had to buy tickets. Oh, yeah. And I didn't do that. You didn't do that. No. No, buy a ticket to a dinner?

I don't know. I don't know about that. Which also like, because I got Tess's ticket. So it was like, someone could have gotten your ticket. Oh, dang. But I don't think you... And I understand, because it was like far in the future when this was an ask. And I'm sure you were like, can't think about that.

That does happen. Because I do love planning in the future. But if it's too far into the future, well, that's a wrap. I don't know. Yeah, I get that. We can ask if there's still tables if you want to... I'll have to check my schedule. What a wild position.

should I just put myself in to beg to come to something and then go, actually, I don't know. Actually, I don't know if I'm available. Okay. I'm an actual nightmare sometimes. Should we answer questions and queries? Let's do it. From our listeners? Our besties.

Our besties. Yeah. That's what I called them earlier. I like it. Hi, Nicole and Sashir. I am a woman and my partner is a man. We both identify as queer, specifically bisexual. We enjoy hooking up with other couples we meet on field.

or other local queer mixers. However, many times the couple stress that they want to be friends first and get to know each other first. The first few dates are usually friend hangouts, but after we hook up once or twice, the couples begin to fade away and soft ghost. Why not just say you're looking solely for a short-term sexual connection rather than friendship if that's the truth? We just feel confused because we did feel like friends with them and had many interests

in common, but this pattern has been frequent. Any advice on how to navigate this? I think you got to put it in your profile. We're looking for a couple to have a long-term hookup relationship with and friendship. Yeah. Or like either we fuck or we're friends. Are we fucking or are we friending? Oh my God.

So aggressive. Are we fucking or are we friending? Sure. The most aggressive of ever. mean you with advice. Are we fucking? What are we fucking doing here? Well, because it can get muddy.

Yeah. And it's like, why do you, I mean, are they saying the other couples want to be friends? They're saying that the other couples are like, let's hang out as friends. Yeah. So we get to know each other before we fuck. Yeah. They're operating, I don't know. And for me, I'm like, well, if we're just going to hook up, let's just hook up.

But it seems like the people they keep finding want to cultivate some sort of connection before they hook up. Yeah. And then after they hook up, they're like, oh, well, that's the end. It was the chasing, the getting, and now we're done. Yeah, which sucks because, like, that other stuff wasn't necessary. Like, you could also just hook up and be done with it. And that's actually more satisfying than being like, oh, I think. thought we were developing a friendship.

And now we're not because we had sex and now you're done? Like, it seems like they keep finding couples who are operating like straight men who want to torture you. We're like, listen, we got to like get to know each other first, okay? We're really good friends. And I really like you. Maybe we kiss a little. Actually, I don't think we can do this.

And it's like, wait, what? What? So maybe... That's what you just did with the dinner. Wow. Whoa. You're harboring something against me in your heart. And it really just like came out. You're absolutely right. Call it like I see it.

She's a street shooter. You're right. I was very toxic about that dinner. Just like these couples. But I do think, I think you're right. I think upon first meeting, are we fucking, are we friends? What's going on? Because we don't have to. But I do think you could put it in your profile, what you're,

exactly what you're looking for. It's field. Everyone's, you know. Being open and honest. Yeah. Yeah. I also wonder if they are hooking up with other queer couples or hooking up with other couples who are more heteronormative.

And maybe they are like to feel more comfortable. Or like, well, I guess I have to know them before I sleep with them. Yeah. And then they do. And then maybe they get freaked out and they're like, bye, I don't want to do this anymore. Or not. I don't know. But also, maybe have like a conversation as you're hanging out to be like, since we're like cultivating a friendship, we like we would love for this friendship to continue.

Is that something you're interested in? Like, just put all your cards on the table. Why not? Yeah. Right? Yes. I think, yeah, I mean, communication obviously is the best way to get everyone on the same page. Solved?

You want to know what I learned? What did you learn? I learned what a metamore is. A metamore in a polycule is your, so if we're dating and you had another partner that I was not involved with, that's my metamore. Okay. And then I think there's like a tradador or a trepador or something. A troubadour? A troubadour.

And a troubadour is the Metamore's partner that I'm not involved with. Oh. Isn't that interesting? Yeah. I got to put my phone down. Because I found this polycule where the, I think it's called a Daddy and a Little. Whoa. And he's.

like her dad figure and she takes on like his daughter, I think, dynamic. But they're in a relationship? Yes. Or she's like incredibly submissive and is his little? I don't know. I didn't get that far to understand that. But the metamorph was interesting to me. Yeah.

Yeah, Polly Amory is really interesting. It is interesting. There's a lot going on with it. There is a lot going on. And I think if you have the capacity to, like, have that nice time, why not? Yeah. Yeah. I have seen a lot of videos where people are, like, another night where my husband's going out with his girlfriend.

And I'm just doing exercises to not be jealous. And I'm like, oh. Well, yeah, that doesn't sound nice. I like the videos where it's like, me and the polycule are going on a road trip. Yeah, that is nice. It's like, we're all together. We're all together. having a nice time.

My partner's out with their partner, and I'm with my partner, or something. But I've seen those videos where it's like, I'm going to make a whole Thanksgiving dinner, so I don't think about him. Fucking Brenda. We should do another question, yeah? Yeah. Hi, Cish here, Nicole. Thank you so much for answering my question about making new friends in one of your recent episodes.

I have since made a new friend. Yay! If it's not a bother, I have another question about. about a friend I've had for a while. Plot Twist. My other friend emailed you guys about this particular friend an episode or two ago in which you guys answered. I hope you remember about Megan.

Megan is a woman who was poor? No. I don't think that was her. Okay. I was impressed. You know what's going on with Megan? I can't remember. I just called Megan poor and she might not be.

So me, Megan, and our other friends Stanley were all planning a concert trip in Vegas. We all live in the state of Colorado, but live in different towns away from each other. One day we decided to all call and try to plan out our rides and concert seating. I had previously asked both of them if it was okay to bring another friend of ours, Lucy, who we all know and have hung out with before in the past. Stanley also took the chance to ask if his boyfriend could come too. In the call, Megan had asked if I could also bring a friend, which we all said yes to.

She willingly offered that if needed, her and her friend could drive and meet us there. I then suggested the idea that Megan could go with her friend while I drove with our friend Lucy, Stanley could drive with his boyfriend, and we could all meet there. All of the sudden, Megan's moods shifts, and she becomes negative,

asking, so what, we aren't all going to hang out or anything? I told her that driving separately was only for us to meet there, but that we'd still do everything together. She then ended the call by saying that maybe she shouldn't go on this trip. After she hung up, she immediately texted us saying that it should only be us three with no plus ones. But how we could also go without her too. Me and Stanley were extremely confused on why she switched up and tried asking here where the plan went wrong for the end.

Wait, sorry. Me and Stanley were extremely confused on why she switched up and tried asking where the plan went wrong for her and even tried compromising with her. We explained on our behalf on why we want our plus ones to come in hopes she'd see where we're coming from. In the end, she said that she wasn't going to go anymore without an explanation other than she would be left out if we all went with plus ones and told us that we could all go without her. It's confusing because she wouldn't be left out since we all know each other. So I'm like WTF. Me and Stanley were so confused and upset with her that we didn't reply for a day. But after the day passed, we tried asking her if she was okay, but she never did reply to us.

Stanley and I are so confused but truly want to go on this trip. We plan to continue with plans without her since we don't want to baby her behavior. Are we in the wrong here? Should we continue a friendship with her? Should we still try to ask what's wrong? Please help us figure out what to do about this situation because we don't want our friendship with her to end. I would also like to add a little bit of background info and mention that Megan told us that she planned on getting lit and wants to drink a lot while we're out there. This is an important point to point out because we'd be taking my car for this.

trip, and I figured she made a big deal about this because she only wants me to be her DD while her and her friend drink, which isn't fun for me because I know she doesn't want to get Ubers out there. And since I'd be the one driving for this trip, I wanted Lucy to come so she could help me drive. Megan has a history with crashing cars and driving drunk, so I don't trust her to drive my car. I'm so sorry, this is a lot, but your help would be super appreciated. We love your podcast so much. I didn't mean to laugh, but that was a wild thing to get just dropped at the end.

She's known for? For driving drunk and crashing cars. I wish I remembered Megan. She sounds like a legend. Do you remember Megan? I'm going to search Megan in the used folder. I mean, it feels like they did their due diligence and like asked what was going on and asked questions and Megan's just like mad about it. Yeah, let it be mad about it.

Yeah. I think that's truly the answer. Let her be mad. Yeah. And like, drunk drive at home. Yeah, maybe honestly be best for maybe she shouldn't be coming, if her plans to just get fucked up and let you guys carry her and drive her everywhere. Yeah, that's kind of wild. Yeah.

And, um, which I don't know if this is Megan's thought process, but like sometimes a hang with your close friends is different when people are bringing partners or other friends who aren't as close as your crew. But I can understand if she's like, oh, in my mind, I thought I was like, me and my besties are going to like, get wild. But now all the other people are coming and I don't feel as comfortable to get as loose. And you guys probably won't be as comfortable to get as loose with them here. And that changes things for me. But that's okay. It's okay for things to change. Yes.

But also, say that. Or say that. Yeah. Say I would really like it just to be the core three of us. Is that okay? Yeah. I want us to drive there together. all three of us.

Like, if you don't like plans changing, you gotta speak up. Yeah. Which I guess she was, but yeah, it was kind of like a little like. She threw a fit. She threw a fit. And it was like, I only want the three of us or you can go without me. Yeah. Which they also can go without her.

Because she's also not responding anymore. Yeah. I would go ahead and plan it. Just keep planning it. Yeah. She wants to get fucked up, not pay for Ubers. And she's famous for crashing her car. Yeah, I think...

Why are we friends? Did you find it... Yeah, I did. The previous question was that she's difficult to talk with and is stubborn about her opinions. She's the type of person that tells you if you say your body hurts, she'll say it's in your head and to grow up.

She can be fun to hang out with, but when it comes to texting her, it's hard to read her tone. And this person can't tell if she's upset or what the text... The tone of the conversation is. and her responses usually come out mean or dry, but according to her, aren't. And they've moved away and they've had a hard time navigating,

keeping this friendship because of that. Yeah. I need, okay, whoever else is in the friend group who listens to this podcast, I need more lore about Meg. What else is she known for? I got to know more about this woman. She, so we know she crashes cars. She likes to drink.

She's very opinionated. She'll negate your feelings. I got to know more about Megan. There's something about Megan. There's something about Megan. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's like, yeah, like you said,

they did their due diligence. They asked multiple times, what are you looking for in this trip? What do you need? Like, are you okay? She's not responding. Okay. She can just be in her feelings.

That's what she needs to do right now. You can have your trip and that sucks that she doesn't want to help plan it. And, you know, I guess we'll see if she pops up and is like, actually, I changed my mind. I will come. We'll see. Yeah, she might do that. That's for her to decide. But I think you should still have the trip.

It's like you wanted to have this trip. Do it. I also like that the person who emailed in was like, and I don't trust Megan to drive my car. Why would you? No, he absolutely would. Why would that even be a thought? Megan can't be driving. Megan's a criminal.

Salt. Should we do one more? Yeah. One more. Porfavor. Hi, my name is Will. They he pronouns. I'm a 30-year-old up-and-comming comedian and musician in New York City.

My best friend of 12 years just moved away, and I'm confident that our relationship is fine, but she was my main friend outside of comedy in the city. Any tips on making new friends, especially when comedy can be time-consuming? As much as I love my friends who do comedy, I'd love to have some outside of the scene too. I've been debating trying one of those blind friend date group dinner things for gays, but they can be costly. Plus, I'm sober and they're not always sober-friendly. So any advice? Activity suggestions? I don't know.

I'm an indoor gay. Thanks, well. That's really funny. An indoor gay. I feel like there are... like social meetup friend things that are sober. Yes. Or aren't about drinking or whatever.

Yeah. I don't know what they're called, but I've seen them. Me either. I feel like there's like sober, like everything. Mm-hmm. Like a sober running group. Yeah, definitely. There's like sober biking.

There's like things where like sobriety is part of it, where it's like at no point will you feel pressure to drink. Yeah. So I think it might be just like, I don't know where you'd look for that. I'm sure if you think. Yeah, Facebook or Instagram or Google. I feel like if you Google, even just like sober gays of New York, something will probably pop up. Sober gaze of New York.

Sober indoor gaze of New York. I mean, probably. Another thing is like if you've ever gone to like an AA meeting, they'll have like, usually they'll have like a bulletin board with like other sober activities. So like maybe that's a thing. I don't know if you want to find a friend through AA. That might be a little too intense to like listen to their trauma and then be like, hey, do you want to get a burger?

No, but I think that's like part of the thing is like communing with each other. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, maybe go to a meeting. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Or sometimes other comedians have real friends. who are like not comedians

and you can steal some of those. Yeah. I've stole, or I've not stolen, but I've hung out with your friends who are not comedians. Ditto. It was funny because I was like trying to say a name and I was like, why am I trying to say their name?

Say their name. Say their name. Everyone is around you. Say the baby, I love you. Solved. Solved. Solved. Well, that's it.

That's it. If you like this episode of Best Friends and you have a question or a query, you can email us at sashira and Nicole.com. Nope. Nicole and sashir at gmail.com. Or it's sashir and Nicole at gmail. No, not that one. Do it. Figure it out.

Figure it out. Good luck. And you can call or text or leave a voice memo at 323-23-8-6-55. All right. Well, we did it. We slammed another episode right in the can. Goodbye. Bye. That was a HeadGum podcast. Hi, I am Mandy Moore. Sterling K. Brown. And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast, That Was Us, now on HeadGum.

Each episode, we're going to go into a deep dive from our show This Is Us. We're going to go episode by episode. We're also going to pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers. and casting directors. Are we going to cry? Yes. A little bit. Are we going to laugh? A lot.

A whole lot. That's what I'm hoping, man. Listen to that was us on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify, new episodes every Tuesday.