Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Nicole and Sasheer have Shared Hat Language (w/ Aparna Nacherla)

Episode Date: January 21, 2026

Nicole and Sasheer are joined by a very special guest, comedian Aparna Nancherla! The trio gets into the concept of friendship hygiene, high school reunions, debunking myths about best friends and more. Check out Aparna's latest stand up special, Hopeful Potato, out on Dropout now!Watch this full video on YouTube and follow below!Follow Nicole: Twitter, Instagram, TikTokFollow Sasheer: Instagram, TikTokLike the show? Rate Best Friends 5 stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts!Have a friendship question for Nicole and Sasheer to solve? Leave us a voicemail at [phone]‬ or write in at [e-mail] Friends is a production of Headgum Studios. Our producer is Allie Kahan. Our executive producer is Anya Kanevskaya. The show is edited, mixed, and engineered by Richelle Chen.This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Best Friends via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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That's plan cpills.org. We have a guest. Oh, spooky. Parna Nancherla. Aparna is an acclaimed comedian, writer, actor, praised by critics, and fans alike for her distinctive, dry, existential, and whimsical sense of humor. Aparna will soon release her first hour-long stand-up comedy special, hopeful potato, premiering December 15th on streaming services, on streaming service, Dropout as part of its dropout. presents series directed by

Eliza Skinner, the special blends Aparna's signature mix of anxiety, cerebral tangents, and absurdist whimsy, all of which she has honed over her nearly 20-year comedy career. It's Aparna! Aparna!

Thank you for that. I assume that was off the cuffs this year. Yeah, that's just like me thinking about you. And I was like, this is my assessment of you and what I know of you. That would be funny if that was off the cuff. Just whimsical serie.

Wait, Aparnet, can I ask, hopeful potato, is there a story behind it? It's such a good name. It's a line from a joke in the special, but then I also talk about in the special how I took a long break from stand-up. So it is like, I thought about it. I was like, it is kind of me emerging up from underground

to be like, do you still like me? Do you still want to hear my jokes? I like that. Yeah. Yeah. How long was this break? I want to say just under three years. Okay.

Yeah, it was a while, but I had, I started writing a book, and then I was like, it was a book about self-doubt, and I was just struggling mentally as I was writing it. And it just became too much to try to do stand-up at the same time. And the pandemic happens. So I was like, great time in. We're all thinking of writing. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And then I finally finished the book and it felt like people were coming back to live performance. I was like, okay, I'll get back out there.

Yeah. How did it feel going back to the stage? Like, was there an anxiety created because of the break? I've always had anxiety around performing. And I do think coming back was almost nice because it felt more intentional. Like I don't know. You guys have performed for so long too. But I feel like I've gone through periods where I am like,

Do I like this? Like, who am I showing up for? And I think it made me be like, okay, I actually want to do this is something I missed in my life. And so having that more like choice behind that decision, I think made it feel better than maybe it had before I took the break. Yeah, yeah. When you got back on the stage after your break, did you like forget some of the mechanics of what stand-up is? Oh, yeah. I feel like that one I haven't performed for like two or three weeks.

where I'm just like, did I ever do this? And then, you know, it is like, whatever, riding a bike where you're like, oh, yeah, this is how this works. But you really, I do feel like a goldfish sometimes where I'm like, do I perform? Yeah. Weird. I'm actually going on two years of the hiatus. Are you?

Yeah. From stand-up, how are you feeling? I want to get back. I think now I actually have a desire to get back to it. Yes. Where for a while I was like, I don't know. I know. Like there's like a little bit of like, I don't even know if I want.

I do want to do it eventually But I was like, I don't know if I'm ready But I'm like, okay, I do have the desire. Yes. And then Nicole was like, do you want to open for me on one of my shows? I was like, yes. And then I opened up my notes up and I was like, I'm not ready. I do not have jokes here.

I do not know. I simply have not written a thing. Yeah, I know. It's also like the idea. Like sometimes I'll think of an idea before a show and I'll be like, oh my God, the best thing I've ever thought of. And then I try to say it on stage and it's like, whoa, well, it's just like a bunch of marbles falling out of your mouth. And you're like, sorry.

Sorry. It was different up here. It sounded good in my head. There's potential, I swear. They're not good. It was like, I guess COVID was still happening. It was an outdoor show, but I hadn't performed for maybe a year. Yeah.

And Sashir and I were on this show. And I started telling a joke that was maybe three, four years old. In the middle of it, I went, I don't know how this ends. And I went, so she heard, do you know how this ends? And she went, what part are you on? And I told her. And she went, oh, man, no, I don't remember what comes next. And then she goes, isn't your notebook beside you?

And I was like, oh, yeah. But I, like, fully forgot. Oh, yeah. How to do the joke that my notebook was there to help me. I actually was like, I am my friend. Yeah. I mean, sometimes I don't know if you guys feel like this, but with stand-up since.

It's like sometimes material have done so many times. It's like I'm no longer, it's just like muscle memory. You know, you're like, no, like sometimes I'm like watching myself do a set and I'm like, am I there? Is anyone there? Yeah, yeah. You're like autopilot. Yes, yes. So I would, I fully relate to that where it's like mid-joke.

I might be like, wait, what? What is that again? I was thinking about what I was going to eat after this. Which is really crazy when you're like, oh, I, there's people here. I've got to get back. I got to get back into it. I was on a different astral plane. Aparna, can I ask you a question about friendship?

Yes. I was actually nervous about this show because I feel like I have so many, not hang-ups around friendship, but I just, yeah, I don't know. Sometimes I'm like, do I do friendship right? We'd love to hear more about that. Yeah, fuck my question. I want to know about that. I know you guys are best friends.

So I don't know. I just feel like as an adult, has been harder and harder to, like, have good friendship hygiene and, like, feel like I'm maintaining my friendships correctly or just, like, I don't know, I feel like I'll, there are friends where you'll go long periods without talking to them and it's fine when you catch up. But then sometimes I'm like, am I just not showing up enough or, like, not participating in this, like, in a way that feels good for the other person? I'm also bad at broaching those bigger conversations with people of, like, hey,

What grade would you give our friendship right now? Not that you would phrase it like that. No, I kind of like it. Maybe there should be a grading. Yeah, a grading system. I'm just pass-fail. You're barely passing. This is a C-plus friendship.

We could up the effort a little bit more. But I think the fact they even have those questions is great. There's so many people who wouldn't even think about that. Okay, okay. And be like, I'm killing it. I'm crushing it in the friend department. Yeah, I get that. I get that.

But yeah, I'm fire away. I'm ready. Do you have a best friend? I don't have a best friend. And I think I've always felt nervous of being like, this is my best friend. Because then they'd be like, you're not even in my top eight. Has it happened to you? No, but I think that's where my mind goes.

I mean, not that it's embarrassing to be vulnerable. But I think somehow the idea of. of a best or something. I'm, I also worry that someone else would be like, wait, I'm not your best friend. Like I just,

something about the excuse. You're like, no one's my best friend. None of you are. I just said, friends, no one's the best. Yeah, no one's the best. You're rotating.

But yeah, no, not really. I think when I was a younger kid, I had, I remember going through periods where it would be like, this is my best friend. But for the most part,

I feel like I've always had a close-knit, like three or four. Mm-hmm. But never like one like this is my best. Yeah. Yeah. And that's okay. I think a lot of people are like that.

Because you find people you're close with. Yeah. Hopefully they're close with each other. And you have like a little group. Yes. But yeah, I think it is very vulnerable to be like, you're my best friend. I do feel like at this point in my life, though, it's kind of like whoever remains where it's like I have one close friend from high school. I have one close friend from college.

And it's like just like how. Who have I been able to keep up the bonds with? Yeah. Yeah. Because do you still have friends from high school? One. Yeah. I have two.

Yeah. How many do you have? I don't have any. No friends from high school? They all got the chop? Not because of me. I think I got the shop from. But you moved around a lot.

I did move around a lot, but I was at the same high school the whole time. And I had a best friend and we were best friends until, or we were still friends, like, after I moved to New York. Okay. Trying to keep in touch. But then, like, after a while, I think she, I think actually she was uninterested in maintaining the friendship. Oh. Yeah. Because I tried.

But, yeah. Yeah. There was no follow-up. So, and then, yeah, I don't think, I don't know. I just lost track of everybody else, too. Right. Yeah. So college is a far as far as I can go back.

Now, are you guys people who would want to go to your high school reunion or no? Because I just had a big one and I had no desire to go. And I remember someone reached out to me and they were like, hey, I thought it would be really fun if you did stand up at our reunion. Oh, my God. I don't know about you, but those were the best years of my life. And I was like, block. Like I couldn't handle anything about that email. I don't even want to say no to you.

I just want to ignore this. I don't like any of this. That's so funny. Block. I remember it was either 10 or 15 years, the high school. reunion. I said to my sister, I was like, I want to go and I want to stunt on those hoes and show them how well I've done. She was like, you were well-liked. Why do you feel like this? All those naysayers. They were telling me down. They said I couldn't do it. She was like, if anything,

everyone's really proud of you. They were written for you the whole time. That's so funny. But I didn't go. Yeah. Yeah, I haven't been to one reunion and I don't even know if I don't think I've been contacted for a high school reunion. I think for college unions. But, um, my high school is also so big. Yeah. I don't think it wouldn't feel like, oh, you know all of us. Yes, yes, yes, yes. We, like, grew up together.

It's like, I think I had a class with you once and then we, you know, like. Right, right, right, right. It's like your face is vaguely ringing a bell. Yeah. Yeah, not really. I mean, I don't want to, like, bag on myself too hard, but this is my, this will give you an idea of what my reputation was in high school. I ended up going to like a small liberal arts college and a girl I went to high school with also went there and we like first semester freshman year we ended up in an acting class together and I was like hey it's so funny we both went to the same high school and she was like we did really did not remember me not that big of schools this year oh no I mean it wasn't like 35 kids but it was 10 yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I was like I sat behind you in every class.

I was like, okay, I know. You were one of the popular ones. You didn't need to know who I was. Interesting. Did you do activities in high school? I did. I went to a very like nerd, like academic overachievement school. So everyone was just like trying to pad their little resumes.

Yes, yes. It was like even if you just showed up in the yearbook photo, you were a diligent member of that club. Yeah. Yeah. That's so funny to me. like in movies and stuff they would be like oh I got to do stuff to get into college and I was like wow movies

like I just didn't know people were doing that and I feel so I feel insane sometimes because I'm like everybody I've ever met I did after school activities and I tried to go to college wow and I was like I'm going to be an actress and I go home after school and eat potatoes I like that better

I like that better. I almost feel like I had adulthood in high school and then afterwards it almost felt easier because I was like that life seemed way less sustainable. Because I feel like as a teenager you're supposed to get the most sleep you've ever gotten and none of us were getting any sleep. I don't know if that's changed at all, but. I was pretty well rested. I love this outlier. I slept right until like five minutes before I had to be at school. The only reason why I made it is because Tony Sincata needed to be picked up

and he would call me on my flip Samsung phone and be like, hey, are you coming? And I'd be like, yeah, he's there in 10. But that's so great that you knew then that you wanted to be an actor. Yeah. Yeah, by junior year, I was like, that's what I'm doing. I don't need the SATs. And nobody has asked my score.

No, they won't. Nobody's asked for my college degree that I don't have. So, yeah. Yeah, that's great. That's the luxury. I would have loved. I mean, I'm thankful for my college experience, but I, afterwards, I was like, so I didn't, I didn't need any of that for what I do today. No, no, not at all.

What was your major? It was theater. So I did learn about being on stage and the, I guess, mechanics of a production. But, yeah, I could have also just showed up to New York. Yeah. Yeah. What was your major? psychology. Oh. Yeah. I'm, I still am like a sucker for, you know, a personality quiz. I just love, like, I mean, psychology is like a little bit of a self-centered major because it's like just stuff you can directly apply to your life and other people you know. So I think that's what fascinated me about it, where it's like history or law, it's like a little bit more esoteric or like you can't really get a get your head around it. But psychology, it's always like, oh, and what you're.

doing is like, you know, I don't know, masking or whatever it is, the term you just learned. Do you feel like it helps you assess people better? I think so. I mean, I think as someone who's always felt kind of like an oddball or an outsider, I was like, this gives me a cheat code. Like, I can figure out what you guys are doing and why you're doing it. I was watching the Sopranos last night, and Tony Sopranos said to his therapist, he's like, so are you trying to tell me everything comes back to our mothers?

And I was like, yeah. Yeah. A lot of things really do. Do you come back to how you were raised, who raised you and what they were doing? I know. And I just thought that was very funny. I also was just thinking about, because I'm like, you know, kind of midlife now of just like how the first half of your life, everyone is kind of like informing your reality

because you don't know there's like another way to like live outside of like, you know, your parents' house or however you're raised. and that's like crazy. Like everyone has their own little like TV show they're living in that they don't know it's like could be different. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

My therapist once said to me, she was like, you're not the main character in that person's story. Oh. So she was trying to be like, things that happen don't necessarily have to do with you. Right. Someone's just making a choice because they're the main character.

Yes, yes. And you might be affected, but you have to remember they're not making that choice with you in mind. And I was like, oh, that's crazy. I know. People aren't always thinking of me. Rude. How dare they?

Yeah. Yeah. It is weird. I think about that a lot that like there's whole worlds I don't know about. I know. And also just like you, I was thinking about how like, I don't know. I heard on a podcast recently that they were like, you are what you pay attention to. So I was like, if I like, you know, focus more on one thing than another, I could just like have a completely different mindset.

But it's like because I'm like, oh, this Instagram posts as I'm not important like the whole day. I'm like, I'm not important. But it's like, you know, you just made that like an arbitrary indicator of, you know, what your place is in the world. I think about that a lot. Like people who are criminals, most of them are pretty smart. and I think we should like be like hey criminal you like you like robbing and you like figured out how to like rob this place

maybe you put that effort into something else like okay you like money because you robbed a bank so maybe we get you into like investments we teach you and who is we what's the system I think the right angel investors Is she?

I don't know Maybe the government I don't know Like actually rehabilitate people Yeah Figure out what they're interested Like there's a reason why they're doing a crime Like okay

Like people who make drugs Chemistry They're good at chemistry Yeah Or like The FBI hiring hackers To like Yeah

Figure out against other people systems And then that's fun Because you get to do what you love But for good actually that is a great like I when you were saying that it made me imagine like a series of masterclasses alt that are all criminals I would watch all of those because I'd be like you clearly thought this through

right you executed to perfection you're in jail like I will watch videos on say an accountant I've been watching The Sopranos so the mob is in my mind like an accountant who worked for the mob who like made offshore accounts And then like, that's interesting to me. How did you do that? I agree. I don't have a business brain.

Not like that. Legal or illegal. I love crime. It is fascinating. As long as it's not like really hurting people. As long as it's organized. Yeah, if it's organized and there's a hierarchy. I'm into it.

No disorganized crime. What's the thing you like to do with friends? I mean, ideally I love. I love like a small dinner, like three to four people where we can just like joke around, maybe talk a little shit, but really just like enjoy each other's company. I feel like any scenario where you can have one of those times where it's like everyone's laughing so hard, no one can talk. I love like any environment where that may happen. Now are you doing this at people's homes? Or are you going out into the world?

When I lived in New York, I feel like people would want to go out more. In L.A., I think people are more comfortable, like, hosting and being, and love being in their homes more, period. I don't know if that's a space thing or a convenience thing. Yeah, but I like both. I think it might be more about the space, because I remember it in New York. I didn't know any of my friends apart because I had no idea what they looked like. I never went to your home. What?

Really? And I think I only went to your home after I moved to L.A. What? That might be possible, yeah. Wow. No. No. You went to my Greenpoint place.

Once. Because you had no windows in your room. And sleeping in it, I said, this can't be. You can't live like this? You can't? It was crazy. It was so hot. You're like, here's my little fan.

And I was like, you can't live like this? And then I think I visited every apartment you lived in after one time. I don't even know if that's true, though. Because I had a lot of apartments. I don't think you saw all of them. Wow. This is fascinating. Because in my head, I imagine, like you did with the high schoolers in movies, I imagine best friends just showing up at each other's houses, willy-nilly, maybe spending the night.

We just live so far. Because that wasn't, yes, Brooklyn and you were in Harlem. And I refused to leave Manhattan. I get that. I get that. So we spent all our time. Oh, yeah, that's quite a trick. In Chelsea.

In the middle. In the middle. Chelsea. Oh, okay. She would come to my job unannounced. Yeah. I just sit behind her like she's working. And nobody.

ever said a thing. Oh, I love that. And they kept giving me more money. I was such a bad employee. Wait, where did you work? At UCB. I worked at the front desk and I remember my boss, Eric Tenoi, was like, can you fax this? And I said, I don't know how to fax. And he said, I'll show you. And I said, if you can show me, you could do it. Which is, what? We don't say that to your employer. And then I, like, fucked up an Excel spreadsheet. Like a money thing. And then they were like, you. you won't be doing that again. I was like, yes.

Less responsibilities. Can I have a raise? And I got it. Wow. And that's why they went under. Me, I did it. I want the Hulu Doc for this. Or it's just like, no, no, I just wasn't.

I shouldn't have been here. They shouldn't have hired me. I love that. You said something about gathering with friends and talking shit. And I know like everyone does it and you're a person, but I really can't imagine you doing that at all. Me either. I know. I feel like if people are like, you're so nice, you never would.

But I don't know. I think we all need to like talk a little shit. And I think with friends is the best place because it feels like a safe kind of container. And you have to like just be able to vent or like, you know, we all like just work or life. If you always have people that are going to rub you the wrong way, you're like, why did they get this? They don't deserve it or whatever it is where it's like it might be more about you, but you have to get it out of yourself. It's true. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I agree. I love venting and I love talking shit. I know. And I love having a strong opinion. And someone's like, she's not that bad. I'm like, yeah, okay.

I love beating a dead horse too. Yeah. Yes. Bring it back. A juicy thing. Bring it back. Beat that dead horse. That's fun.

I like that. Yeah. Yeah. Do you, have you ever done that thing, though, with like maybe a newer friend where you dangle something where you're like, we both are not going to like this person, right? And then they're like, actually, I love her. And you're like, retreat, retreat.

Yeah. Like, oh, not at the same space. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's happened a lot because I really like talking shit. Yeah, I know. So I'd be like this. And they're like, oh, my God, they're great.

And I'm like, they are. You said it. You love them. Get out of here. But then there's been times where like I've dangled the little carrot and they've been like, yeah, they're shitty and I hate them. And I'm like, that's my friend. Yeah.

No, it really makes you double down. Yeah. And also when there's just a mutual, yeah, like dislike of someone, it's just like very bonding. And it's usually not even about the other person. That's true. Yeah. It's like I just want to, I just want to vent. I just want to talk shit about something. Yeah. It's like one of the few pleasures. Mm-hmm. Do you have a lot of comedy friends?

I do. I feel like as I, I don't know, I think because our job is so, you know, night, night base, like you're around people in sort of an already social environment. Like, it's hard to then make friends outside of that. unless I don't know I have friends who comedy friends who have other hobbies and I'm trying to do that but it's hard for me to be like

and I'll go out and do another hobby like it's like the hobbies end up being more solitary because comedy is more social by default it is a social job yeah it is a crazy job that it's like all right going to a bar

gonna tell us some jokes ooh I got a drink ticket maybe two dollars stay and drink and hang out Yeah, but it is interesting that jump from like comedy acquaintance to comedy friend. Like I remember in New York, like when I first moved there, kind of being like, you know, seeing a few people and kind of being like, they seem like they could be maybe friend material, but then being nervous to be like, do you want to hang out not at a show? Do you want to see me during the day? It's kind of like dating.

Yeah, it is. at night and then when you hang out during the day it's like we're agreeing that we like each other I know yeah I remember a comedy friend I made in New York like our first date was like playing ping pong and I remember I was so nervous I was like am I fun ping pong's very fun I know I think it helped to have an activity that we could kind of yeah yeah I'm trying to think Because I've met comedy friends through you that have then become, like, my good friends. Like, I met Mateo through you. Yeah. And then Mateo is one of my best friends now.

And I can't remember the first time we hung out alone or, like, had a conversation alone. Hmm. Huh. I don't know either. Well, we'll never know. He might know. Nope. We're not going to ask.

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We're back. Well, that was a nice break. Mm-hmm. We still don't figure out how you and Mateo's hung out. We'll never figure it out. Yeah. Did you have a best friend growing up or no? I remember having a couple best friends growing up.

When I was in kindergarten, I remember this little kid named Dougie would come over to my house and we would play memory. Do you guys remember that card game where you had to like flip over cards and match them? And that's all I remember about that friendship. He would come over every day. We would play memory cards. That was like our ritual. We were like two 80 year olds and five-year-old buddies.

And then I remember for Valentine's Day, he gave me a card that was an elephant squashing a monkey. And it said, I have a crush on you. And I didn't know what that meant. And all, like, my parents and my sibling were like, oh, and I was like, what? He wants to squash me? Is this a threat? He wants to hurt me? Yeah.

And then I think when I was in elementary school, I had a best friend. Wait, what happened to Doug? I don't know. The card ended up. He was written out of the show. I don't know why. I don't know why. That's very funny.

Also, what a good kid now. name. I know. I'm Dougie. I know. I'm like at what age do you drop the E? Never. Never.

Never. Always Douggy. Because I feel like once you get to a certain age, it's like now you're, you know, part of a criminal gang. Dougie, the fixer or whatever. Yes. But yeah, after that, I had a best friend named Cassie, who I just remember her family was Mormon. And one of our outings was we went to see the. church.

Oh. Okay. That sounds like a Mormon activity to see the church. Do you know Mormons drink a lot of Diet Coke? What? I don't know. Wait, by church, like intentionally? Is it in their book?

Because I think they don't drink coffee. Oh. So they get their caffeine from Diet Coke? Gotcha. And they love Diet Coke. Am I crazy or is this real? No, you're right. Wow.

Okay. Wow. Yeah. They don't fuck, but they love Diet Coke. I had no idea. Me neither. You know, I just, I watch a lot of different videos on different things and don't learn all of it. And then just say weird sentences and go, can you believe?

We're impressed. Thank you. Yeah, that was a good one. But I remember with Cassie, it was like more intentional where I think she was literally like, do you want to be my best friend? Oh. It was like that age where it's like that. was a normal conversation.

Mm-hmm. I mean, not that it's not normal at a different age, but I feel like there was, there's a window in childhood where it's kind of like, it's picking season. Mm-hmm. It's free. Everyone gets your friend.

Everyone get your best friend. Round them up. Well, as an adult, I don't think we have those conversations. Not at all. The last friend that I asked to be my, because I made, I've made friends just like naturally and we've just ended up hanging out more, but you were there the last time I asked somebody to be my friend Jessica

I went when you'll be my friend and then bursted to tears Out of nervousness or just like emotion? I don't know. I might have just felt overwhelmed Yeah, yeah, of course. She was making me laugh and I liked hanging out with me. Yeah, yeah, that's so sweet. And then she didn't make fun of me and I was like, no, my God.

I know. It's working. Yeah, my friend. I love that. Yeah, I think it is like, for some reason, it does feel more vulnerable as an adult to ask for friendship. I mean, this is like a more like cynical take, but I also feel like at this age, it's kind of like, if you're signing up for, you know, maybe picking me up for my colonoscopy. So get ready for that. Yeah.

Yeah. There's a lot more responsibility as an adult. The kid, you're just like, we'll play together sometimes. And the adult is like, I might need you to help me move. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, more responsibility comes to friendships as an adult, yeah? Yeah. Just like, go play kickball and make bracelets and then as an adult.

Yeah, help me move colonoscopies. Yeah. LASic eye surgery. LASIC, yeah. Something I'm really... Have you gotten it? No, I'm so scared of it. I'm so scared of it too.

It seems crazy. And people are like, it's fine. And I can see grade and this, that, and the other. there's the like 1% that's like it sliced my eye in half. Exactly. I've heard one too many of those stories. Yeah, I don't. It's a laser that goes right into your eyeball.

Yeah, it's a lot to think about. I saw, you're pointing at me. What's that? Your eyes are good. My, great question. But you don't have, you don't wear glasses or contacts. I don't wear glasses or contacts. I have 2020 vision, but my cornea are getting weak.

What does that mean? Like overall strength? I guess strength, yeah. Like bright lights hurt more than they used to. Gotcha. Okay. And things seem darker earlier to me than they do to other people, I think. Oh, okay.

But I just saw a video about red light therapy for your eyes. So people are putting red lights on their eye or like standing in front of a red light panel. And that's supposed to improve your vision. Oh. So I'm hoping that can work because I would love to not do surgery or anything. I always wonder how they figured these things out. I don't know. We put a red light in their eye and was like, that's actually working for me.

Yeah. Maybe someone at a stoplight was like, whoa. Well, now I can see really well. I feel so good. I just stared at that red light for a while. Yeah, I don't know how experiments happen. I don't either. Because some of them you're like, okay, well, that tracks.

It's like they realize this is good for you. So they were like, what about you had this? But I don't know, red light there because I feel like in general we're like, don't stare into a light for too long. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. But for some reason, this is okay.

Maybe it's because your phone and like computers, I think it's blue light. Yes, that's great. So maybe the red light makes it purple and purple's a superior color than both. Yes. It's a real. I don't know if it's like you're looking at them in the same time. I think it's just... Well, the blues sucked up in you.

So when you stay there. The blue line stayed there. It mixes up into purples into your brain. It neutralizes it or something. Yeah, I'm a scientist. You are a scientist. You see, you know how experiments go. Yes.

But have you ever seen how chocolate's made? No. Okay, so you like cut open like a cacao and then you like take out the beans and you like crush up the beans and then there's like a bunch of stuff and I'm like, who did that first. Right. Who did that? I know. With foods especially, I'm like, oh God, we lot, we're just probably a whole in-memorium of people who tried stuff. And passed right away. Definitely. Took one for the team. Or like silkworms? Like taking silk from silkworms and making

clothing from it. Yes. It was like, I can do this, I can string this all together. Glass? Yeah. Oh yeah. Glass is crazy. Crazy. Look at this thing. I can see through it and it'll keep us warm. We put it up. It's wild. Adventures are crazy.

Now I feel like we're that. What is that insane clown posse song? It's like magnets. How do they work? I don't know this. I can't tell you one insane clown posse song. I don't even know how I know that. I think it's like a boyfriend I once dated was like, look at this.

Sounds like you're a juggalo. Or a jugget? Yeah. I don't know. I think there's male loomis. I would love. know that pre-pandemic there was a juggalo juggerald-a version of a partner.

Do you like concerts? I'm not a big concert person. I think I like, I think it's like crowds. And as a short person, I'm like, I can never see anything. I just get elbowed a lot. So I'm, yeah, I've never, I mean, I like certain concerts. Like, now I'm at an age where I'm, like, going to more seated concerts. Yeah.

Like what? What's a seated concert you want? I recently went to a Paul Simon concert. Oh. Yeah. And that was like, you know, me and some 40, 50-somethings really having a great time. I don't know who Paul Simon is. He's.

Oh, wait. Simon and Garfunkel? Yeah. Yeah. Turns out I do. You do. I know exactly who that man is. But yeah, he's, yeah, I always am amazed because he's like, you know, pretty up there and he's still touring.

And I don't know. I'm like, I guess people just have it in their bones where they're like, I've just done this for so long, but... Or they owe money to somebody. Like, I think I think his name's Frankie Valley. Oh, yeah, yeah. He's still touring. Because he... I think he owes somebody

money because he's not moving. He's just up there. Just not really doing it. And then the song's going and somebody will have to like bring the mic to his mouth. Like he's old. Oh, no. I think that's who I'm thinking. I don't know this is. Is that he... He's an IE. He's too old.

And the videos are really, like, they're a bummer. He shouldn't be out. You gotta put him in a bed. Oh, no. Wait, how old is Paul Simon? Paul Simon is 84. Okay. Dang.

I'll swap there. No Frankie Valley, though. No Frankie Valley. It's truly, you've got to watch the videos. I know, now I'm going to. They're wild. I saw Lionel Richie at the Hollywood Bowl, and that was like a seated show. Yes.

And we were all just swaying in our seats. It was lovely. Yeah. No, there's something nice about it. It feels very, I don't know. It feels kind of a little more intimate or something. Yeah. But you guys are live show people, right?

Yeah. I love a concert. Yeah. One of my favorite things to do. And I get so, I don't love crowds, but I do love a crowd getting together for one singular thing. Yes. I like a high mind. Oh, no.

We're here for Beyonce. We're here for Lady Gaga! But that changes, yeah, that changes the vibe. Because it's not just like a crowd at like, I don't know, Universal Studios. Everyone has their own agenda. Yeah. Do you like amusement parks? No.

Me either. And I think I used to because of the rides and stuff, but now it's like the crowds I can't handle the kids. It's too many people. They don't know how to act. Everyone's like, ugh. And must eat. Some people are must do. Because they're walking around all day.

Yeah, yeah. Sometimes in the morning you'll be like, you left your house funky. Oh, no. I probably stressed out because I had to pack all their kids and their stuff and it's expensive. Yeah. Do you guys ever see babies at live shows? Yes. Okay.

I have seen them bring babies to concerts. Yes. And I'm like, I know. This feels irresponsible. Yeah. Because they have the big headphones on, but I'm still like. You couldn't find a sitter. There's no other option.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, tickets are so expensive now. I know. I guess. I don't also want to pay for a singer. Right. And is it like baby Mozart a little bit where they're like, I really need you to be infused with, you know.

This music. With Doja Cat early on. This is good for your brain development. That's so funny. Let's take a break. Did you want to do it? You can do it. I didn't even know that break with time was happening.

I missed the sign. Yeah. No, no, you do. It's just so good. Let's third or a break. This message is brought to you by today's sponsor, Chamberlain University. Sometimes the idea of going back to school feels impossible. Life is busy. You got bills, maybe a full-time job. And the thought of starting something new, it's a lot. But if becoming a nurse or leveling up and healthcare has been in the back of your mind,

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Do you ever give gifts to your friends? I do. I feel like I struggle more with occasion-based gift giving. I really like seeing something and being like, oh, I know someone who would love this. But it's harder when it's like birthday, need to find thing for birthday. Yeah. I wish I was, I feel like there are some people who just have that like spreadsheet mind of like, I know exactly what this person needs when. But I'm more of a chaotic gift. Yeah. And sometimes I have friends where I'm like, I guess we don't do gifts. It doesn't say. seem like we're on a gift vibe. That is interesting. I never thought about that because there are people in my life I give gifts to. Yes. Or if I like see something. Yes.

I say something or I buy it and give it to them. But then there's people in my life that I've, I'm like, I would never buy you a fucking thing in the whole world. I know. Never ever. And I would never expect you to buy me. Yeah. Yeah.

And I don't know what that is. What was that hmm about? I guess what I wonder what the difference is. Yeah. Yeah, I agree. I have friends who I love very much. don't expect a gift from. No.

Yeah. Or I got them a gift, but it wasn't for their birthday. Right. I just thought of you. Here's a gift. Yes. Yes.

Yeah. Maybe I guess, yeah, I don't know what the difference is. I don't either. Kind of a weird thing. Yeah. And then how did gifts start? Yeah.

Like who gives the first gift? I've given you gifts. I wonder who's given the, who gave the first gift? I guess it helps if it's like someone has a birthday first and then you're like, okay, I'll get you something. But yeah, for like, holidays or something. I don't know.

Because then you're also like, don't want them to be like, oh, no, I didn't get you anything. Yeah. Yeah. Because oftentimes I don't care if they didn't get me. Yeah. Because I'm like, once you're an adult, I'm buying my stuff. I'm buying stuff all the time. Yeah, that's also the thing.

Like, it is interesting where I guess mostly families feel obligated to get gifts for everybody. Yeah. And it's like, you'll never get me the thing I want. No, you just simply will not. You're just incapable. And it's okay. And I'm like, we can also just end this. Yes.

We don't have to even try. I agree. I know what I want and I'm going to get it for myself. Yeah. And I'm sure you know what you want and you can get it for yourself too. Yes. Yeah. But what do we do?

Why are we buying trash for each other? I know. Just swapping trash back and forth. Yeah. That is interesting. We are just giving each other trash. Yeah. Yeah.

And I feel even more. so that with work gifts for like, you know, especially in our industry where it's like, I don't know, your agent or something where I'm like, I don't know your life. Yeah, I don't know what you like to do. I just give them wine

with a picture of me on it. To remember who they're representing. That's smart. That's smart. Yeah. Remember, get me a job. And sometimes they'll say, get me a job this year. Oh, yeah.

That's even been. And they're like, you know what? I was reaching for a bottle of wine. Something about it made me think of you. Yeah, and I got you a job this year. That is smart, Nicole. I don't remember how I came up with it. But it's funny sometimes, like, as a rap gift on a show,

they'll be like, you want a sweatshirt branded with this show name. And sometimes I do. Yeah. And then sometimes I'm like, well, we made this on Zazzle, and the quality's not great. Yeah, at least me are cute. Yeah. Like sometimes at a thrift story,

you'll find like a really cool rap gift from like a show from like the 80s or the 90s where I'm like, oh, there was thought and effort and like the qualities, this is nice. Yeah. Sometimes you'll see something and you're like, who we, you'll find like multiples and you're like, uh-oh.

And no one liked it. I know we liked it. And you're like, you could probably throw in some of this budget towards the show. We're the actors on the show. Or the actor. You know? Or marketing.

Yeah. We didn't need a bunch of ball caps. Yeah. You say ball caps? Ball. Ball caps? Yeah. Like a ball cap.

A ball cap? Baseball. Baseball cap. Huh. I've never heard it called a ball cap, but I like it. What would you call it? A baseball cap? A baseball cap.

Baseball cap. But ball cap, that's fun. Maybe I just say hat. It's also a hat. Yeah. I think hats to me are hats, hats, hats. Hats. What was the last one?

Tell me what the last one was. Yeah, what was the last one? That was what they were in the newsies where they're like, pay pass. Oh, that's what it's called a paper boy hat. Okay, so a hat was a wide brim, like, sun hat. And then a baseball hat. And then a paperboy newsy hat. Oh, and then top hat?

Yeah. Wow. See, this is why you guys are best friends. You have shared hat language. Was there a time, I mean, maybe this is just a historical fiction thing, but was there a time where everyone just regularly wore a hat? There was a time where people wore hats and petticoats and dressed up. Yeah. And we don't do that anymore.

We don't. Now I feel like when I see someone in like a nice hat walking down the street, I'm like, what's your problem? Like, why am I upset? I don't know, but I really love that you're upset. What's your problem? I does feel like they're doing too much. But also, why? Why does it feel that way?

I know. They should be able to wear whatever they want. Yeah. I did buy an insane hat from an estate sale that I've only worn one time and it was on my way to the car. car after the estate sale. And I'm like, I don't know the function I'm going to wear this. It's an insane hat. What like genre of hat would you say it is?

Willy Wonka. I would say Willy Wonka glam. Because there's like rhinestones on it. But if you saw me walking down the street, you would stop in your tracks and be like, what's your problem? You would get so mad. You would get so mad at me. There's no purpose for it.

Yeah, I don't know. one of them wore that hat too. Wow. But it's fun. It is fun and I like owning it. Yeah. Yeah. I have articles of clothing like that where I'm just like, I just like the idea that I'm

someone who owns this. I will never show anyone this in public. Yes. But I do need to get rid of a bunch of clothes and so she is going to come over and help me. Yeah. It'll be fun. But there's going to be so much that I'm going to be like, but I have to give this.

I know. That's what happens to me every time. time I go through my stuff. Yeah. I think I just need to not look and put it all in a bag. That's scary to me then. I know it's scary, but then it's like I wouldn't even think of it if I didn't know about it.

I have to, as soon as I decide to give things away, I have to put it away from where I see it. Yes. And then when I bag it up, I cannot look at it again. Right. Then I'll go, wait a minute. I'm like a quilted horse jacket. Yeah.

Which is on the top of my pile right now. Because I'm not a horse girl. I know. I'm not either, but I'm always buying stuff with horses. Yes. Because I'm like, what if? What if I become a horse girl? The possibility's there.

And I think it stems from childhood. Because I was friends with this girl, Daniel Prospero, who in an above ground pool. And she loved horses. And I was like, my love horses. I didn't love horses. Yeah. Yeah, I definitely, like, idolized the horse girls.

growing up, yeah. And I'm not a horse girl. Also, why am I putting this woman's first and last name out there? Well, you don't say anything bad about her. She's an above-ground pool and loved horses. Not bad. What if she comments, I did not like horses? Don't you lie on my name?

She did have a sick-ass pool. Nice. Wow. The things other kids had that you were just like, wow, that's how to live. Did you make friends with anyone based on a thing that they had that you wanted? Ooh, great question. I'm sure like I went to a sleepover or something where I was just like, I got to work harder on this friendship.

What about you this year? Because mine was pool people. Once I found out you had a pool, I was like, Hey, do you want to really be my friend? Yeah. I think like nice parents that fed me. Oh my gosh. I mean, good snacks and good food is huge.

I remember going to a friend's house and they had a cake, like a home-baked cake under one of those, like, cake glasses. Oh, that's opulence. What kind of Disney movie is this? You just have a cake available for whenever fresh-baked? That is wild. Yeah. And I'm like, should I go home and bake a cake? I know.

It would be nice to just have cake. It would be nice. Yeah. Yeah, I had a Filipino friend whose mom loved to cook for her friends. Mm-hmm. And it was so good. And I would just go over all the time. Yeah.

Filipino Ube. Did she make any Ube stuff? Probably, but I don't really remember her. Oh. Ube's the best. I didn't ask what I think was. It was. It was purple.

Yeah, yeah. Purple. Is that usually with desserts, though? Yeah. I think so. And then like Ube cakes and stuff. Yeah. Yeah.

I mostly remember the savory stuff. Oh, yeah, I forget. You're a savory girl. Yeah. Me? I'm a savory girl. I'm a sweetie. I'm a sweetie as well.

It's a nice place to be. I love sweet things. Oh, my God. Now, are you, like, crispy or, like, a mushy? Mushy. Yeah, me too. Like, when Coldstone Creamery came around, I was like, I know.

My shit comes pre-mushed up. I know, I know. Like, the way they mush up cake if you get cake in it, I think would be sick to a lot of people. Oh, yeah. But I love it. Oh, it's like ASMR or whatever. Like they mush up the toppings? In front of you.

Oh. You've never been to a Coldstone creamery? I don't think so. Whoa. And they used to humiliate the people who work there and they'd have to sing. Oh, no. Oh, I wish. Oh, yeah, they go mix it right.

Mix it good. Mix those ice cream is like you should. No. Like the witches and make the... Yeah. And they sadly do it and sing for you. They're creating a spell. Oh, no.

But you pick your base. Yeah. So you start on this side. You pick your base, whatever ice cream you want. And then there's a whole thing of mix-ins. And you pick your mix-ins. And then there's a cold stone. Cold stone.

And they put it on that cold stone and they mix it all up for you. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. All right. Nice. It's like the naughty version of sweet green. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Do you cook? I wish I cooked more. I'm not. Like I, especially as I've gotten older, I've turned into such a like takeout person. But I, yeah, people who seem to like,

even find cooking therapeutic, I'm like so jealous of them because I'm like, what a good skill and like and you reap immediate benefits from it. Yeah. Yeah. And when I have eaten in or like made something for myself, I am, there is like a satisfaction. Yeah. Yeah. If you were to have a dinner party, are you ordering the whole meal or would you like try cooking some?

I would order because I think the fear of humiliation is too great. And the fear of people eating it because they feel. bad and they don't like it. Oh, excruciating. I like to have people over and I tell them to bring things. That's smart. Potluck. Yeah.

That's fun. Yeah. Yeah. I'll offer the space. Yeah. Other people can bring the food. Yeah. Someone was telling me they recently went to a potluck where they took something.

They were like, sorry, guys, it looks a little weird. I hope no one, like, I hope you still eat it and then no one ate it. Oh, no. I'm like, that's my fear. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that would rock me in a way that I'd be like, so I'll never bring another thing ever. I just, I don't cook anymore.

I don't think of it. And no one even tried. I know. I brought a cake out to a potluck that I knew was bad. And I was like, it's dry, y'all. But everyone did a nice job of going, ooh, the flavor. Ooh, if you wet it up with water, it slides down. Which was like tough, but I was like, everyone's being really nice.

Yeah, that's so supportive. And then everyone was like, what happened? And I was like, well, I put it in the oven and then I had to take a shower. Right. And you do. So I really just dried out. But I'm going to attempt to make that cake again. Great.

I know. Yeah, I don't think the way you made it was the problem. I think the shower was really the thing that did you in. I think so, too. I'm going to make two different cakes. Okay. Ooh, like dueling cake? Yes.

I'm going to make a pound cake because I love pound cake and then Paula Dean makes this God, what is it called? It's like, I don't know. It's a sweet. It's got like a crust and then like filling on top

and it's really, really good. Is it a pie in the pie cake? No. Okay, okay. Oh shit. Is that butter something? Oui-goey butter cake. Wow, Sashir.

I felt it. Yeah, you really did. That's crazy. I just had something at Thanksgiving for the first time I went to like a potluck situation. It was called sugar cream pie. That sounds good. What's sugar cream pie? It sounds like a pie version of Ui-Gui Butter King.

It's just like buttercream and sugar is the film. Yeah. That's nice. I know. I know. And it's always funny when everyone's like, oh, well, this one you got to go easy on. because it's pretty sweet, and I'm like, it was just right. I agree.

I eat sweet things. Ooh, I could suck them down. I'm going to try to make these, like, apple marshmallows. What? Where are you just like. Parna. What? I love apple flavor so much.

I feel like it's not utilized enough. It's a good point. It's like only brought out around fall. Yes. Like apple cider. Yeah. Caramel apples. Yeah. But I've never heard of it with marshmallows. Yeah. What is it?

So you blend up the apples or like puree them or whatever. And then you get gelatin. Mix it in there. And you can add sugar and honey or whatever you want. And then you, I guess, put it in a tray and let it cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then that's it. Yum. And why?

I've just never known you to be an applehead or a marshmallow queen. That's true. Because it looked easy. Now where do you see this? Did you see this on TikTok? Okay. Because that is also how I get lured in.

Like I'm following all these like, I found this diner in Bushwick that just like post photos of their cakes. Ooh. And it's always like they do like different versions of tiramisu like different flavors. And they just, every time they make a new one, they just show, they just plop it in a Sunday bowl, like almost like violently. and then it like drips down the sides. And I'm like, it feels like I'm watching porn. Yeah. That's like food porn.

There's a man on Instagram who like slaps meat around and it is like, it's overtly sexual in a way where I'm like, stop it. I know. Leave it alone. Stop it. It's a dead chicken. Leave it alone. And it like spread like the legs of like a turkey open. It's so jarring.

Yeah. But I can't stop watching when I. see them. Oh, boy. It didn't want it. But yeah, see, when I see those videos, I'm sort of like, well, I could never do that. So I applaud you for being like, I'm going to try. Thank you.

Yeah. They mostly got me because they're like, you only need two ingredients. Yeah. And you can add more if you wanted to. And I was like, I can handle two ingredients. Yeah. Are you going to bring them out? Are you going to munch them by yourself at home?

Is that you going to bring them out? Am I going to get a sampling? You might bring them out. Okay. I don't know how many I will make. I actually like also I didn't like study the recipe. So I went to the grocery store and bought like eight apples and two boxes of gelatin. I was like, we'll see.

I'll like look at the details later. Yeah, yeah. So I have the supplies. And I don't know how much that makes. Okay. But hopefully a lot. Yeah. I believe in this project.

I believe in it too. I bought yeast to make pizza. Ooh. Do you have like a pizza? I don't know. I was like, does it need to ride? I don't know. Maybe, yeah.

Maybe. I was in the grocery store and I was like, yeast. I'll make pizza and then I just bought it. And do you have other things to make pizza? Pizza sauce. Do you have like stuff to make dough? I think that's what the yeast is for. Do you put the yeast with flour or something?

I think so. I have flour. Okay, great. I have flour. I think I have flour. You do need the flour with the yeast. I got to put it with something. I'm just tossing yeast up in.

Eventually it turned into a crust, I think. Uh-oh. I should have gotten flour. I have cheese. Yeah. Oh, my God. Pizza sauce. You're basically there.

I really want a homemade pizza. I know. All the people I know who make pizza are so intense about it. They have, like, their pizza stone, their pizza oven. And granted, they make beautiful pizzas, but it has always made me. like, oh, I don't know if I can

Yeah, I don't want to be a pizza person. Yeah, yeah. I think I'm going to become a pizza person. I don't have a pizza stone. I don't even know what that is. I don't know. That's what you put in the oven. That's where I have the pizza cooks.

And then you need one of those slider things to like pick it up. Yeah. I'm not running a shop. I know, that's the thing. It makes you feel like you're buying a restaurant. Yeah. I got a hoop.

I'll be ready to second. What? All right. I guess I'll go buy one. Nicole. We need more pizzas. All right, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm like in a wife theater, dirty. And I'm like, ah!

Well, I think we have reached the end. I think so. This was so fun. Yes, thank you so much of Harnas. Yes, and when does your dropout special come out? December 15th. Nice. So exciting.

I'll be seated. I'll also be seated. I will also be seated. I don't know. I said it like that. I'll be seated. Well, goodbye. Best Friends is a production of HeadGum Studios.

Our producer is Ali Khan. Our executive producers, Anya Kan of Skaya. The show is edited mixed and engineered by Rochelle Chet. Hi, I'm Drew Afuallo. And I'm Jason Offoalo. And we host the HeadGum podcast, Two Idiot Girls. Each episode, we're discussing plenty of topics that you would be giggling at a sleepover with your weird cousins. We talk about all kinds of things, like weird dating horrors.

stories, maybe a really bad wedgy you had once, or even a show you're loving and anything in between. So you can listen to Two Idiot Girls on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube. New episodes will be posted every Tuesday.