Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Nicole and Sasheer Revisit The Slap

Episode Date: January 14, 2026

It's a busy week in the Best Friends studio! Nicole and Sasheer get into their new year's resolutions, moon rituals, and their different perspectives re: frozen fruit. They also take a trip down vacation memory lane and get into how it is not a Party in the USA.Watch this full video on YouTube and follow below!Follow Nicole: Twitter, Instagram, TikTokFollow Sasheer: Instagram, TikTokLike the show? Rate Best Friends 5 stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts!Have a friendship question for Nicole and Sasheer to solve? Leave us a voicemail at [phone]‬ or write in at [e-mail] Friends is a production of Headgum Studios. Our producer is Allie Kahan. Our executive producer is Anya Kanevskaya. The show is edited, mixed, and engineered by Richelle Chen.This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Best Friends via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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That's plan cpills.org. I've been rattled. Yes. I was leaving my home. And as I was locking my door, I heard, don't be scared. And I turned around, and it was an Amazon delivery man, and I screamed in his face. I feel crazy. He was just standing on your porch?

Yes. I think. To deliver. To deliver. Yeah. And I don't know why he thought, don't be. scared was going to make me not scared. Maybe like he should have dropped the box or like clapped or may a loud noise or something.

What's a non-scary way to be like, I'm here. Put it down and leave. Because was he in front of you or would he have been walking out behind you? Would you even, is it possible that you wouldn't have even seen him? Correct. If he had just put it down and skipped down the stairs, I would have never seen him. Yeah. Instead I got, don't be scared.

And I turned around, screamed in his face. And he went, sorry, I didn't want you to be scared. But it is scary. Yeah. So if you're a delivery person or a man and you see a woman alone, this scariest thing you could say is don't be scared. Yeah. One time I was on a platform on the subway in New York, like, I don't know.

I don't think I was like right on the edge, but I was near it, I guess. And a man came behind me and was like, you got to be careful how close he stands at the edge. Someone could push you. And I was like, are you? Is it you? Are you going to, are you the somebody, someone was going to push me? What?

And so now I stand way back. Oh my God. I wonder if it was one of those, what are those called? Intrusive thoughts that he was having. And he's like, I'll just say it. But don't get close to me and say it. Be far away and be like, hey, head. up. You don't want to be so close to the edge. I agree. That's scary. Yeah. I don't like that.

Oh, God. I don't think I'll ever be pushed on the subway tracks, though. Great. I also don't want that for you. I just don't see it for myself. You don't see anything for yourself. You're like, I'm just not going to die. I just see fat laughs in good times. Nice. Yeah. Well, I don't see me getting pushed because I think somebody, I think it's easy to like miscalculate how hard you'd have to push a fat person. So it's like if you try to push me and you don't push hard enough, I'm there. I could turn around and be like, what? Or scream or be like, you did that.

But then maybe you push too hard and then you take a couple extra steps and then you're down there with me. I think it's really easy to miscalculate the force you need to push a fatty. That's okay. But also, like, I've seen you lose your balance by yourself. I actually don't know if they need to push hard at all. I think they could approach you and you'd be like, ah! But in emergencies, I calm down. That's true.

So maybe I'll feel the thud and be like, and like I'll plant. Grounded into the... You can't kill me! Yeah, maybe. But you are right. I do lose my balance just standing. Which is pretty wild. Sometimes I'll be walking in my house and there'll be nothing in front of me and I'll trip over nothing.

And I'll be like, whoa. Do you think it's because you're like focused on other things? Oh, absolutely. Yeah. I'm tired. I'm focused on other things. I'm not paying attention to my feet. Yeah.

I like the last couple weeks I was I've been banging my knees and shins into things and I have like all these bruises and my girlfriend was like oh that means that like something's in your way or like there's something impeding your progress and I didn't look it up but I think the universe is trying to tell me something and you've been having wild dreams wild dreams wild dreams yeah I don't know what's happening I don't know either it's hard to Hard to say. It's hard to say. But like, you're a witch. I'm a witch. So it's like, it does mean something. Yeah. Something's afoot.

Yes. We're both witches. And I do think it's the universe trying to tell you something. But I don't know what. I also don't know what. I also don't know what like forward motion or progress I'm trying to do that is being impeded. Yeah. Maybe make a list of what your goals are.

And then be like, am I able? to achieve them or is something holding me back from one of these goals? Yeah. I like that. That's smart. We're going to do that tonight. Oh, hell yeah, man. It's the new fucking moon. We're going to do a moon ceremony. It's moon time. Ooh.

Let's not explain it and let our listeners think we're going to howl at the moon tonight. I would love to do that. No, we are going to do, it's like we've been gathering. Yes. Our little friend group. And it's been really sweet and we're like using these journal prompts to like kind of analyze goals or things we want to release for the month things we want to bring in for the month and we're like burning things that we want to get rid of and using water to bring things in and it feels yeah it's very witty but also it's very nice I like it yeah we use um a ceramic pancake yeah I can actually bring my I actually

have a little cauldron to like burn things oh we You don't want to use my ceramic pancake from Home Goods? We can still use that if you want to you. I do have a more fireproof receptacle. That's honestly probably for the best. It's not meant to have things burning in it. It was a, I think a candle was in there. Yeah.

Burned that right up and kept the little, the vessel. Yeah. Because Home Goods has so many different vessels for candles. They do. What a dumb sentence. So many different vessels for candles. Okay. I was saying before the podcast started,

physical stores are closing and we need this to stop. Yeah, I don't like it. We need physical stores because I went to a store. I'm not going to say their name because I don't want to give them any press. It's a store for fats. There's only so many. But I was trying on jeans because I need new jeans. And I keep ordering them online and they keep not fitting.

And I have to keep sending them back. So then I went and tried on like eight pairs of jeans and two worked. And I was like, if I were to order them, I probably would have ordered three because I have to pay for them up front. And then those three wouldn't work and I'd send it back and I'd get discouraged with the brand. But I walked in, got what I needed, left it, and went home. And I said, we used to be a proper society where we did this all the time. It's true. And now we're just ordering garbage.

I don't know the quality. I want to feel it and see it and touch it. I agree. Yeah. Also, like, if there is a store that also works, operates online, most of the time, all their stuff's online. Like, there's so many times I've gone into Best Buy and been like, do you have this? And they're like, no, you need to order that online.

Why are you here? Why are you here? Why do you have a great big store? Why do you have people in blue shirts? Insane. I don't like it. I don't like it either. How do we make this stop?

Who do we talk to? I don't know. Yeah. I don't know what, I don't know how that starts. Was it Amazon? Yes, I think, okay. People are like companies call themselves disruptors because they disrupt the fucking norm.

And Amazon is like a disruptor because they started selling things online and you could find better deals. Now Amazon does not have better deals. I find better deals out in the world. Yeah. It's crazy. Crazy.

But we're all brainwashed to think that Amazon has the best fucking deals. Jeff Bezos is the devil. Oh my God. I really do think he is. I think he's a bad man. How much money do you fucking need? You're ruining companies?

They ruined Toys R Us. I watched a video. I did not retain anything other than They ruined Toys R Us. I think it was they were selling toys on the platform or something cheaper than Toys R Us. I don't know.

All I know is they ruined Jeffrey. I know. My fun giraffe friend. He was a fun giraffe friend. And it's fun for kids to go to a place where it's like, this is just for us. Yes. Kids don't have places. There's no discovery zones.

Is it true? There's no jungle gyms at McDonald's anymore. That's true. They took away places where children can be children. And now I have to listen to them cry on planes. I bet they wouldn't be so upset if they had juggle gyms. They just have a place to like run around and like swing from something for a second. Yeah.

How are kids getting tuckered out? Because if we went to McDonald's, while we went to McDonald's, While we waited, we would go in the play place. Yeah, which is so smart. Yes. Hmm. I don't know how they're getting tuckered out. The kids aren't getting tuckered.

I don't think so. I have occasionally seen play places in airports, but I don't. No one's ever on them. No one's ever on them, and they're not so frequent. But you know what? Also I have seen those little gaming cafes that are full. Like with the screens where you can play video games. Oh.

So I think kids are just. doing that? That's not working out their body. No. And we need body workout. We need body workout. Body needs workout to feel good. You do. You got to like move your body and go outside and be in the sun. It's true. Every time I spend a day in the sun, I feel great. Yeah. It's nice out there. Every time I work out, I feel great. Even though I fucking hate it. Yeah. I worked out today. Oh, nice. And I complained. every single minute of it. And my trainer, Ben, was like,

can we not? And I was like, no. I need to do this to get through it. Yes. And I did a workout yesterday that I was on time for. And then today I showed up 17 minutes late and complained every second of the

43 minutes we had together. But I feel great. Yeah. The after is what you want. You want to feel great. And it's really annoying because I feel like for years, people have told me you'll just feel better if you work out. It's fucking true. Yeah. Endorphins, they're real.

Can you believe? We need a sign up for our gymnastics class. Yes. I want to learn how to do a backhand spring. Okay. Nice. That's my 2026 goal. Yeah.

A backhand spring. Because I have a very bendy back. Ooh, okay. Yeah. I want to, I don't know if I'm going to get this in gymnastics class. but I definitely want to learn how to do a handstand and stay there. Because I can kick myself up, but then I'll fall right back down. Oh.

Stay up and like maybe move my legs around. Oh. Yeah. You can get fat probably in like one or two classes. You think so? Yeah. I feel like I had to build a lot of muscle in order to do that. No.

Ooh. I can do a handstand. And stay up? Okay. Maybe not. I'm talking like handstand and you're like up here. can have a whole conversation. Oh.

Like stationary. Yeah, you'll have to work on that. I was like two classes. I don't think so. Also, I was thinking about I do it with a pole behind me, so I have assistance. Oh, yeah. Hey, listen, I just wasn't thinking about the whole thing. That's okay.

I'm really on it today. You are? I've had a lot of coffee. I had bananas. You had bananas? I had bananas today. Multiple bananas? No.

Just one banana? No. I don't know the difference. Chunks of banana. So not even a full banana. No. So I put cold brew in my Vitamix? I don't know.

My little, my Nutra Bullet. Okay. And then I put bananas in it. And then I put chocolate peanut butter protein powder. And then I put a little bit of PB2 in it. And then two or three ice cubes and I mix it all up. And then it's like a protein coffee yummy thing. Okay, nice.

So how many bananas do you put in the Nutra Bullet? You peeled a banana, right? No. They're frozen. The bananas are frozen. You peeled them at one point. No. They showed up to your house frozen.

Sashir, have you never bought a bag of frozen fruit? No, because I just buy fruit. I'm not crazy here. I guess, I know. I don't think you're crazy, but I've never seen a bag of frozen bananas. I just didn't understand the idea of a chunk of a banana. Oh. And so I was like, just why won't you tell me how many bananas you peeled and put in there?

And I wasn't telling you because they were frozen bananas and I thought that was a world you understood. No. So they slice them up. I think somebody in a factory opens them and slices them up and puts them in a bag and then they get frozen. Okay, got it. Wait, that's crazy that you've never bought frozen fruit. Do you buy frozen vegetables? I think maybe at one point I have

But I don't really make smoothies I don't really like cold things So yeah I'm not like blending up Frozen fruit Fair You know that is fair I don't even cook But I have so much frozen food at my house

Yeah Oh my God I opened my refrigerator three days ago And something was a foot in there Oh no It was sick Oh no And it was like stinking up the whole house It was really nasty

And that nice man in my life I was like, do you smell it? He was like, no. And we got to take him somewhere because it was stinky. Does he have long COVID? What's going on? Maybe. I don't know.

So then last night, I still couldn't figure out what it was. So I threw out everything. Every single thing in there. Even the stuff he was like, oh, I think this is still good. I was like, it's got to go. I don't know. I was like, maybe there's something rotting in the lettuce. But then I also found yogurts that expired last month and then protein drinks that expired.

last year. Yeah. And then a pear apple that I don't know when I bought. So maybe it was like all combined made this smell. Yeah, they were like,

we need to let her know to throw something away. Just kill us already. Just get rid of us. Yeah. Refrigerators are hard. Well, mine's often empty, so I don't really know

this struggle. Yeah. I actually, I saw a, of Instagram of this person who like put decoration inside of their fridge to like a fridgecape oh I like that yeah is that what it was I don't know is that an official term I think so and I think I saw a lady calling it a fridgecape where she like put like moss and like yeah lace and it looked like a weird like dollhouse wonderland or something yeah I think the one I saw had like like string lights and I don't know, other fun stuff.

But I like a fridgecape. But yeah, I was like maybe I like a fridgecape in my fridge because it's so empty. Could definitely take at least one row. That's really funny that you want to decorate the inside of your refrigerator. How often are you opening it if there's nothing in it? Well, sometimes there's things in there.

Like, kiwi. Milk? If I need milk for my cereal. Now, are you just straight up drinking milk? No, if I need milk for my cereal What kind of milk are you doing? Oat milk. Mmm.

When did oak milk become so popular? I actually don't know. I feel like it suddenly was just like everyone was like, oat milk. I do think probably at least in the last 10 years, if not longer. I still do almond milk. I'm not moving on. I think we should have been done at almond milk.

I think some people are like, well, it takes like so much water to make almond milk, so it's like a little wasteful. So then they tried other options. I also like goat milk. I've never had goat milk. I like it. What does it taste like? It just tastes like milk, actually. Huh.

To me. Do you like goat cheese? Yeah, I do. What does that taste like? Just cheese. Cheese. I don't know how to describe it. I don't think I've ever.

I never had goat milk. Goat products? Yeah, I'm just like, I'm not taking what the goat's given. Mm-hmm. But I'd like to meet a goat. Yeah. You haven't, though? I haven't met a goat.

Have you met a goat? Wait, maybe I've met a goat. You must have. At a petting zoo, you must have met a goat. I'm sorry. That was insane. I've met goats. I've met goats.

You've met goats. We should take a break. Okay. A year from today, who do you want to be? What version of yourself would you like to meet? Do you feel less anxious or feel more like yourself? Maybe your relationship is stronger or the grief feels smaller? What if the thing that you've been secretly worried about just took up less space in your mind?

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by shev we're back i think i met goats in dc okay because of the dc zoo they have um like a whole kids area which is funny because i'm like is the whole thing is a yeah but yeah they had like farm animals and and llamas and it was like oh and it was out there's a mic in front of you. It really startled me. And it was like more brightly decorated than the rest of the zoo. It was like, this is the kids. There's a goat in there.

Okay, nice. That I met. And then at the gentle barn, which I think is in Santa Clarita, I met a goat there. Yeah. So I've met goats. Great. That was humiliating that I thought I had never met a goat. I was going to be like, what's happening?

You haven't met a goat in your life? Something's wrong. Now I've met goats. Pennings is are interesting and really anything that makes you or where you're allowed to touch the animals. Because like what makes us think we have the right to touch these animals? You know? Like if these animals were not captured and imprisoned. They'd just be out in the wild.

And I would never walk up to a wild goat or or. a pig or anything and go touch it because it's wild. But they were like, we're going to figure out a way to get your hands on them. Why? That is a good query. Yeah. Why do why? Why do we feel entitled

to touch these animals? Because in the wild, I will try to touch an animal because I have like a delusion that like somehow I'm snow white and like animals will come to me. You did when we were in Mexico. I feel like me and Tess turned around and

and then turned back and you just had a dog in your arm and you're like, look what I found. We're going to take him. And the owner was like around the corner like, all right, she can hold the dog, I guess. And then later I found a donkey. That was crazy. That was actually, and we were on mushrooms and I was like, what's happening? There's a donkey here now? That was really funny.

Like I felt like you guys turned around again. And I was like, guys, a donkey. I just kept finding things Which is also funny because like I've been to Mexico since Never seen a donkey Why was the donkey just on the street like that? It was this like a downtown area

We were on the way to a bar Why was they were talking on the street? I don't know And I've been there since And I've never seen another donkey I was really out of my mind that night I remember Tess was like dividing it up.

And then she meant to give you something to share, a cap to share. And then you were just like, and I was like, oh no, goodbye. And then we were at the bar and you went, huh. You went, are these fast acting drugs? Then you went to the bathroom and you were like,

I heard demons and I had to go, those are my friends. Yes, I went to the bathroom. I was like, how is my auditory, like, like processing also high. Like how are the sounds altered? Yeah, I went to the bathroom. I was like trying to unbutton my romper

and I heard you guys laughing and it was like, it was like the devil was outside. And I was like, it's okay. Those are my friends. They're not demons. It's okay. That's so funny. I then ordered every teeny on the menu

and we take a sip and go, yuck. I had like 10 teenies in front of me with one sip taken out of them. Oh, that was a good time. Then we laughed at ATM for like 10 minutes. Because I kept saying money comes out of it. It's also funny. We had a goal.

We were trying to get to a drag show at a certain time. And maybe we only maybe had like five blocks to go. And somehow we missed the whole show. We missed the whole show. And it took us like an hour. to get five blocks. Yes, because we kept looking at things and pointing and laughing. And I kept fighting animals like on an ATM.

We tried to get someone to take our picture. And like, I think he was really drunk. So Tess kept like moving the camera in his hands and we're like, just stay like this. And then we're like, now angle it. And it was just like a mess. Those pictures are really funny because it is clear that we're on drugs. And then whoever took the picture was also fucked up. Like they're not good pictures at all.

No. But you can tell fun was had. That was a nice time. That was a nice time. Oh, boy. Then we went to, we went dancing later. Oh, yes. At the place that was a drag show was supposed to happen.

And then I thought everyone was going to steal from me. You did. You were clutching your purse. Like, you just had it, like, wrapped up under your chest. And we're trying to dance. And you were like, wheying everybody, like, who's over here? And then a really tall guy came over and just wanted to chat. But he did have to lean over to talk to us.

And he was like, where are you guys from? And you were like, too tall. Too tall. There's a guy who I can't. I think he said, like, I'm from Indianapolis. And I was like, oh, my God, I'm from Indianapolis. I was like, he's lying to you. I brought him over.

I was like, this guy's from Indianapolis. Isn't that crazy? You're like, he's lying. He's trying to scam you. And I'm like, I don't even know what the scam would be. Also, he brought it up. It's not like I'm from Indianapolis. And he was like, oh, me too.

I saved you from a scam. A scam was afoot. He was trying to get you got. Maybe. I don't know. Boy, that was a very fun night. That was very fun. Oh,

whoof. There was also a night we did mushrooms on New Year's Eve. Where when I cleaned up the night, because it was at my house. Oh, yes. Because we were supposed to go to Hawaii, but then the Delta variant came out. And then we all had, like, jobs, like right after New Year's. We were like, we shouldn't go. Yeah.

And I cleaned up maybe 15 to 20 bottles of champagne. It was crazy. And like between six people. Yep. And then. Multiple piles of champagne individually. And then I just remember we ate mushrooms and then we all started laughing so hard. And I couldn't remember why we were laughing so hard.

I was like, I feel so good. And I don't know why. And then someone several minutes later is like, we took drugs. Maybe you feel good because we are on drugs. That was a good New Year's Eve. That was good. Right. Infamously made finger food, which was lasagna and macaroni and cheese.

And people really read me. They were like, that's not finger food. And I was like, it depends on how you eat. Well, yeah, I guess you could technically. Anything can be finger food if you want it to be. That's true. That's true. Soup.

Soup can be finger food because a lot of, a soup has bits in it. Mm-hmm. Then you have to scoop it real fast and throw it in your mouth? Yes. So it doesn't go between your fingers. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. I really do.

Anything can be finger food if you try hard enough. All right, great. Yeah. Name something else that you wouldn't think was finger food. Um, ice cream. Oh, come on. That's essentially a finger food if you have it in a cone. Your fingers are doing most of the work.

Well, if it's not in the cone, though, if it's in a cup. Well, if your fingers get cold. You switch. Man, I love ice cream. Mm-hmm. Should I get some today? Yeah, get some. I show restraint every time I come here.

Oh. Because my favorite ice cream is right around the corner. Right there. Oh my God. A peanut buddy? It's everything. You're so strong. Thank you.

I appreciate that. You're strong too. Thank you. What are your struggles? Specifically when you come here, what are your struggles? When I come here to head gum where we record. Right, right, right, right. There must.

What do you struggle with? I struggle with. with a hardship for you. A hardship for me is, I mean, there are some good thrift stores around here. And I have gone to, because I also kind of lived here when I first in L.A. in this area. But I have made a commitment to buy less clothing this year. And I've done a good job. Have you done a good job?

I have. I also made a commitment to buy less clothing. I've done a very bad job. because I traveled a bunch this year and I was like my favorite thing to do in a city that I don't know is find at least one great thrift store I'd be buying

It's hard I did yeah the goal was to not buy anything And like for months I did that And then And then I did go to Japan And I was like I got to buy a couple things But I was all secondhand And then yeah

Maybe of this year I've probably bought maybe 12 items. Whoa. And they're all the same hand. Whoa. Good job. Thank you.

Do you remember your cream-colored jumpsuit with your cream-colored turtleneck? And I said, I have a cream-colored jumpsuit. We could be the creamy sisters. I'll never forget that. That was gross. Well, I wanted to get a cream-colored turtleneck so we could really be creamy sisters. Great. I don't know why I said Creamy Sisters.

It was very gross. Then I think I sent a lady in an ice cream emoji to make it even worse. So I bought a turtleneck on Amazon, and then it came in, and I was like, this is terrible quality. This sucks. And then I went to a thrift store and found exactly the cream-colored turtleneck that I wanted. And I was like, I think I have to be done with, like, buying things on Amazon. I think I need to just go to a goodwill or go to a goodwill. St. Paul De Vincent.

No, that's not it. St. Vincent de Paul. What did I say? St. Paul? De Vincent? It's a black store. It's a Baptist store. De Vincent.

De Vincent. Oh, man, sometimes I say things in. It's tough. Yeah, I think you're right. Also to what you were saying earlier, like you can't know the quality if you don't touch it. And lots of it on Amazon.

Garbage. Yeah. Boo boo. Mm-hmm. I was so mad when it came and I was like, this sucks. Yeah.

And then I was even angrier that I went to the thrift store literally like three days later and found exactly what I wanted for I think the same price. It was just a better quality because it was from not Amazon. Yeah.

It was from H&M. Which, you know. Is that actually better? Yeah. Probably a little better, but. But I did have the realization I was like, everything I want is already in existence. It's true.

It's already out there. It might take me a couple trips, but I'll definitely find it. This is from that trip. Oh, nice. I like it. Right? It's a cute little sweaty.

It's a very cute sweater. And it's light. Yeah. Because it doesn't get too cold here in L.A. No, but at night it's been cold. That's true. I don't know if we've talked about this, but when you lose weight,

nobody tells you that you get cold. I used to never get cold. Yeah. I had a bunch of jackets that I never wore because I was never cold. Yeah. And then the other night, I went out without a jacket,

and I was like, I felt like rose in the Titanic. I was so cold. Yeah. Yeah, it gets cold out here. It's wild. It's wild. But yeah, this is good.

It's good. Feel it. Now that's light. Now that's what I'm. call light. That's what I call light. You sent me a thing on Instagram that said Miley Cyrus will no longer sing

party in the USA because it's simply not a party in the USA right now. Mm-hmm. And honestly, she's right. She's right. And it's really, but it's really funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's not singing party in the USA anymore. Because it's not.

It just is not. And I hope that wakes people up. I hope that's what makes people realize, you know what? It's not good here. Yeah. I really hope that people are like, yeah, we got to get back to like it being a fun time and a party. Yeah.

We got to get out of this recession. Yeah. When are we going to come out of this recession? Is this our second recession? I think this is our second recession, like in our life. Yes, that's what I mean. Not like ever. Yeah, yeah.

That's crazy. Yeah. And then we already had a housing crisis. I think another one's coming. Ooh. I don't like that. Me either. People need homes.

People need homes. Let them have them. I mean, there's so many that are empty. Yes. And honestly, when people default on a mortgage, I would be like, okay, so what works better for you? Like, how much less do you want to pay? Why don't they do that? Yeah.

Tack on more years than the mortgage and let them pay a little less. Don't snatch up their house. But then they're also like indebted to that forever. Yeah. Yeah. I guess people should just sell before it gets to a dire

point. Mm-hmm. Ugh. Let's fix the economy right here, right now. I don't know how. You take a stab at it. I thought you'd have an idea. I don't. I got no clue. Okay. Get rid of the tariffs.

Okay. Stop artificial inflation of home prices. Uh-huh. Bring back physical stores and limit how much online retailers can send out monthly. Okay. I don't hate it. Oh, yes. Cap how much CEOs and stuff can make.

That would be nice, yeah. And then if you make over a certain amount, you have to redistribute it to your workers. Am I a socialist? Yeah. Mm-hmm. Okay. And then give everyone health care. That'd be nice.

You get health care. Are you and yeah, Oprah can hand it out. As long as Oprah's handing it out, people will take it. Yeah, that'd be nice. I think I did a good job. You did a really good job. Hey, thanks. And like free or way cheaper college would be nice.

Why don't we have free college? I don't know. I don't even know how it started. I don't know why like, yeah, there's many other countries that are just like, no, we want to have an educated population. So we're just going to give them education. And then here were like, no. We're going to make it really hard. It's going to be so expensive.

You're going to have to take out loans. You'll be in debt forever. Go to the military, fight a little bit, and then we'll pay for it while you're traumatized and have PTSD. And we'll just say POV and I was like, that's not it. Your POV is all PTSD? POV when you're traumatized. That was funny. Thank you.

You're welcome. We have to take another break. Let's do it. You've been too funny. You got any New Year's resolutions? We're halfway through January. Hmm. I feel like I don't really do resolutions anymore.

Well, you said that you tried to buy less clothing this year. That's kind of a resolution. That is true. I would like to stay on task with things. be a little less scattered I actually did like a intro session to this like

ADHD like coaching thing and I was like cleaning up while I was doing it it was like I wasn't being seen so I was like listening to it but I was just like

moving things and moving the computer and going over here and going over there and my girlfriend was like do you want to sit for this? I was like, oh.

No, I can get other things done. I can do other things while I'm doing this. But yeah, you know, staying on task would be nice. I think one of my nearest resolutions is like, I'm doing okay with like my phone time. But I've noticed that like if I have a very busy day, I unwind by looking at my phone. Yeah. So I think I want to find a different way to unwind. That's great.

Do you have ideas? Well, I bought a bunch of coloring books Because the ADHD mind is awful And there was one day I woke up and I said I'm gonna color every day I have not done that I've colored in one face I was like maybe I color at night I don't know

Yeah, maybe you can put them next to your bed And then when you're in bed you can color Until you go to sleep Maybe, but I bought more phone cases I have a peanut currently A potato currently but I bought a tulip. Nice.

I bought a car. A purple car-shaped phone case. Well, that's got you written all over it. I'm so excited. And then I bought a hot dog for someone special. And they don't have to take it because I was told to not buy any more hot dog things for them. And I'm happy to keep it. Also, happy to give her to that birthday.

If they want it. But I listen. I've been told. I'll take a look at it and see what it's about. Just say no pressure. Okay, great. But I did buy it for somebody. Also, my New Year's resolution is to stop buying garbage.

I'm constantly buying trash that I like for 30 seconds. And then I'm like, why did I? I bought a bunch of dolls to like bag charm dolls. Like I have my little baboos. or whatever, but I bought actual little Barbie dolls. But I got them from Sheehan because I was like, I don't want to spend too much money on this. So they were a dollar apiece, and they looked like they were a dollar a piece.

Yeah. They are tough looking. Like, they don't even have undershirts under their little dresses. Like, they're naked little baby dolls. Little skanks? Yeah, they're a little skanky. And then now they're just like on my desk, collecting dust. I don't want them.

So yeah, I need to like just stop buying garbage that I'm like, this will be fun. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. I get that. And I think my therapist was like, what if you just fill up cards and don't check out? And I was like, it's the point of filling up the cart if I don't check out and then wait for it. Yeah. And then get it. And then open it.

Do you have a list of things I want to buy that I need, like things for the house. things for health stuff or whatever. And so then if I'm like, I'm in a shopping mood, I can look at a list and be like, oh, let me find a hose stand. And then I'm looking for the best host stand or whatever. No, I don't. Right now I need a mandolin. You need a mandolin.

Yeah, I need a mandolin. Okay. To play? No. It slices. Am I not saying it right? I think that's right. Yeah. I

Yeah, they're both called mandolin I'm thinking of the musical instrument I'm thinking of the potato chopper to make scalloped potatoes Oh, nice Okay, nice So then you can look for that

Okay And then I got to start my new journey I can't buy it on Amazon I got to go out into the world Yeah Can't go to Target still Mm-mm Don't really want to go to Walmart

No I mean like a kitchen store William Sonoma You really attacked me with those words I couldn't think of another kitchen store Yeah maybe William Sonoma Or like I guess I meant more like one of those stores That like chefs go to

By kitchen supplies Sur la table Sure I think that's the name of that store I think it is It's a dumb name. Serletebo? What's a chef's store?

Just like a kitchen supply store. I don't... Unbranded, like not a chain. Just like a kitchen supply store. I don't think I've ever heard of this. You definitely pass them, I'm sure. There's literally say kitchen supply store. And they're open to the general public?

Mm-hmm. Huh. Ellie, can you look up a kitchen supply store? Do you know what a harbor freight is? No. Me either. Have you seen the signs? No.

Oh, I have. It's a store? I think so. Harbor Freight? Yeah, on, I think it's Hollywood. Hollywood and Van Ness, there used to be a Pure One imports. Uh-huh. They went under.

They did. And their sale was not good. I was so mad. I was like, you're done. Give it to me. Why is this still money? What are we doing? I was so mad.

But now there's a harbor freight there. I don't know what it is. I have no idea what it is. And I've thought about pulling in to investigate, but then I'm like doing shit. Sounds like a boat store? On Hollywood Boulevard? For all your boat needs.

I think it's wild. All right, did you find a kitchen supply store? Yeah, so there's a ton and they all have names like Kitchen Depot. Kitchen Plus, Kitchen World. Oh. And they are like wholesale kitchen supply stores for restaurants and then also home cooks if you want to buy things in bulk. Oh, in bulk?

Yeah, bulk are like restaurant grade kitchen supplies. Okay. That's where I'm going to get a mandolin. Yeah. Okay. I also want a different stand mixer. I want a purple one. Yeah.

I have a teal one. And I find it to be like shocking. I'm sure compared to the rest of the colors in your home in your kitchen. Yeah. But also I'm like, this is like the overconsumption thing about me where I'm like, this is no longer aesthetically pleasing. Yeah. I would like to get the same thing in a different color. Yeah.

Which is, and I don't cook. I was going to ask, do you use it? I've used it. Let's see. What year is this? 2026. I think the Oh, yeah, it's January.

I think the last year I hosted, nailed it was 2023. I have used my stand mixer twice. Mm-hmm. I don't need a purple one. But the idea of like a lilac one, oh, fucking gets me going. What if you got rid of your T-L1,

donate it, give somebody, sell it, or whatever? and then if you find yourself in a moment where you're like, I need a sand mixer, then you can buy it. Okay, here's the other thing about me. I don't want to go without. What if I need that stand mixer at 1 a.m. You never know when you have to make cookies. It's like an emergency.

Yes. You've got to make them right now. Yes, that happened to me two weeks ago. Yeah. I found a single cookie recipe and at like, it wasn't 1 a.m. It was like 1130. I was like, I have to make that one cookie. And then I did.

Oh, okay. It was pretty good. And this is the second time you used your sand mixer? I didn't use a stand mixer for that because I was only making one cookie. Okay. So then. But I did use a stand mixer to make a batch of cookies. Oh, wait, no, I couldn't use it because I lost the paddles.

So wait, when is the last time I used it? Sounds like you don't need it. Oh, the last time I used it was to make the dry pound cake. Oh. which is like a year ago I don't I don't need a stand mixer but I just love that

I love the idea of like I have it and I really want a purple one yeah all right well but I lost pieces of it and didn't even know exactly I think maybe if you really need it

you probably know someone who has one and you borrow it do you have one? No because I don't need it Do you have any kitchen appliances besides an oven in a toaster oven? I have an air dryer. Oh.

And a food processor. Oh. And... That's more than I thought. A Vitamix blender. Oh. And... You're getting stuff finally chopped.

Finally chopped. Oh, I have... I guess this is Okay, so it's for making vegetables into noodles. A spiralizer? Yeah, spiralizer.

It goes like this. You put the zucchini on it and it goes like zzz. And then it comes out and you got zoodles. Zoodles! They also have a cheese grater like that. And I was like, I got to get one of those. Then it's like, how often am I grading cheese? Mm-hmm.

Never. I make macaroni and cheese maybe once a year. Yeah. And, oh, I don't think I made it last year. I think I made it two years ago. I still have it in my freezer. I think I need to throw it away. Mac and cheese?

Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah. How long can you keep things in the freezer? I keep things for years. I guess I don't know. But I feel like eventually it's going to get like... freezer burn? Yeah.

Yeah. I don't know. I eat garbage and I eat old stuff and I get sick all the time. I ate sushi last night and I got sick. Oh no. Not like bad sick, but sick. But sick? Yeah, that's not good.

No. And then that happened when we got sushi late at night that one time. Oh. And I thought it maybe, I was like, oh, maybe it's a sushi place. Maybe my body can't process raw fish. That's possible. Well, that makes me sad because now I like raw fish. Yeah.

Dang. Yeah. Sorry, girl. It's okay. Should we answer questions? Let's answer questions. Hello, Nicole and Sashir, long-time listener, and huge fan of you both. I want to know if you think I am overreacting to a situation.

Almost a year ago, I had plans with one of my long-distance friends to meet up in Chicago for the weekend. This friend has a history of being flaky, but we both had plane tickets and a hotel room booked, so I figured all would be okay. As I boarded my flight that morning, my friend texted. me and said that her flight was canceled. I figured when I landed, she would have rebooked and figured it out. Instead, when I landed, I had a long text from her explaining that she was going to have to pay to rebook, so she just canceled her flight and was going home. I looked at her flight number, and it looked like it was just delayed, but she swears to this day that wasn't the case. Luckily, I'm a pretty season traveler, I knew I would be okay solo, and I still had a fun weekend,

but I felt like ditching me was a very bad friendship move. We've been friends since childhood and after this happened, we barely talk anymore. She wasn't a great friend to me before this happened and I consider it the straw that broke the camels back. Do you think I'm overreacting or is it okay for me to be upset about being ditched on a planned weekend trip? Yeah, be mad. Be mad. That's wild. That would be upset. That's crazy.

Yeah. If I had plans with a friend and they were like, oh, not coming. What? Like figure it out. There's other flights. Yeah, and you would have to, whatever the rebooking fee would be, it wouldn't be the cost of another ticket. It would like. But also, no.

If the airline delays your flight or the airline cancels your flight, they just put you on a different flight free of charge because it's on them. That's true. So her saying that she had to rebook it or them, I don't know the gender, but I think they lied. I think they didn't show up. And I think they lied. Do you think maybe they didn't even buy the ticket? I think you're onto something. Wow, Harriet the Spy, you got to the bottom.

I truly think that they might have lied and not have bought the ticket at all. Yeah. Because paying money to rebook, that's not real. No. Also, but, and if that's the case, let your friend know beforehand, I don't want to go. Yes. That's way easier than your friend. friend now wasting their money and their time being on the solo trip somewhere.

Yeah, I think the person who rode in has every right to be livid. Yeah. I would, I mean, me personally, I would be very, very angry. And I would go, well, maybe this friendship continues. Maybe it doesn't, but I'll never make another plan with you. Fool me once. Call me Roger. Wait, what is it?

Fool me once. I'm an idiot. Fool me once. Shame on you. fool me twice shame on me Where to call me Roger come from? I have no idea where Call Me Roger came from Who me once called me Roger

And we know we don't want to be Roger We don't want to be Roger Nobody wants to be Roger Roger's a name that's dying I guess I haven't met a young Roger Bring it back Sister Sister Go home Roger

Solved Solved Yeah, tell that girl to go home, Roger. May we have another? Of course. Okay. Hi, Nicole and Sashir. First off, thank you for restarting the podcast.

You two bring me so much joy and I've missed my weekly listen. I'm writing because I have a lot of feelings about my best friend's new boyfriend. For context, we were both single for almost all of our 20s. We're now in our early 30s. And we both started our first serious. relationships earlier this year. Yay. I am in my first same-sex committed relationship since coming out as bisexual, and my best friend has been super supportive throughout that journey. I'm thrilled that she's found someone too, and I know that this relationship means so much to her. We're very

long-distance friends, so I haven't met him yet, and she's been a little cagey about the details of their relationship, but I recently learned through a mutual friend that her boyfriend is a Republican, which honestly just makes me sad. She said repeatedly that she's head over heels in love with him, and I'm finding it hard to process that she feels this way about someone who's aligned with a political party that is actively trying to take my rights away. How could I be enthusiastic about her relationship when he's comfortable with the idea

that I might not be able to marry the person I love? I'm sure he's not a far-right Trump supporter because she certainly isn't, and it's possible he's not politically active at all, but in this climate, that's still taking a stance, and I don't see how it's one that she's comfortable with. I've been friends with her for 20 years, and it hurts my heart to think,

that she might end up with someone whose values are so opposed to mine. I don't want to confront her in a way that's bitter or comes off as an accusation or a demand that she breaks up with him, but I also feel like I need to have a conversation with her to understand whether this is something that she's even thought about. I would love to know, is this something that either of you have ever had to deal with before? Do you have any advice for how I might be able to approach this or come to peace with it on my own? Thank you both for the joy you bring to the world. You have truly such an inspirational friendship, and I'm so glad that we, as listeners,

get to be a small part of it. Love Vanessa. P.S., I just saw Nicole's DC show, and it was so fun, I didn't stop laughing the whole time. Dying to see Sishir Live Now, too. Oh, that's nice. That is nice. That's hard. Yeah, I've never, thank God, knock on wood. Been in that situation where a friend is dating someone who is not politically aligned with me. Yeah. And honestly, I've gotten to the point in my life where it's like, If you are not politically aligned with me, it's not like we're enemies, but you do have a vested interest in like my life being worse.

Yeah. So like you're technically not a friend if you want my life worse. And I think it's kind of a hard thing to grapple because it's like, sure, you might think your friend doesn't align like that, but there is a chance that she is slowly moving to that. or is at least complacent At least doesn't care enough To challenge those thoughts

Which we also don't know We don't know what their conversations are like But yeah If she's like I guess okay Dating somebody who Is a Vocal Republican

Like I choose to label myself this way Yeah, then it would make me wonder, does my friend not care, which also is bad? Or do they actually align with these beliefs too? And our email or in her said that this friend is like cagey about the relationship. So I'm like, why aren't you telling details about it? Like, y'all going to rallies and stuff? God.

Y'all wearing your red hats and saying poor people should die. Yeah, this was like, I don't know, 15 years ago. Like, there have been moments where it's like, well, you can be like politically one way but like have views in a different way or like there's more gray area.

But I think because we're in such an extreme moment right now and because of the things that are actually happening, it's you kind of can't dance over the line like there is there is no like oh well I'm socially liberal basically Republican or whatever like there is no like overlap and like definite ramifications

of those choices so yeah I guess maybe maybe have a talk and be like what's I mean maybe it's straight up like I heard your your boyfriend's a Republican how how's that going How's that going? You like that? Yeah.

How much a Republican? Yeah. What you're all doing? Some people are also raised that way, but it's still just weird that like someone knew enough to be like, yeah, so and so is a Republican. Like, what does that mean? They actually voted that way? Yeah. And ask questions.

Yeah. Because I, yeah, me personally, like, I don't want that in my life. Like, I don't want to have to go to a dinner party where I have to, like, listen to something. someone spouting bullshit. And then like I feel like I need to say something. It's like, I'd rather just hang out with people who have the same. And maybe that's ignorant of me that I'm like, I want to hang out with people who have the same ideology as me.

But like my whole ideology is like, I think people deserve things. Right. And, you know, like I think the tariffs are bad. And I think, you know, the president is tacky. Like baseline tacky. and then on top of it bad and also doing some really bad stuff so it's like yeah I don't want to have that debate

yeah I think you're right I think it's like have a conversation and ask like you good you like it yeah do you think about people like me or other friends that you have yeah or I think this person's a woman it's like

you want to be forced to have a baby Yeah. Do you want to have to depend on your husband to vote? Right? Yeah. Did you hear about that lady who was forced to have a baby in Atlanta? Yeah. That baby's not doing well. Can you believe? Well, we can't end on a sad note. We have to do one more. Hi, Sashir and Nicole. I'm a big, big fan of you both separately and jointly. I love the podcast so much I put it on when I'm cleaning specifically the Chris Rock Will Smith.

Every week, I hear Nicole's request to set a timer for a year and send it in to see what her thoughts are about the slap over time. I know I'm very late for the update, but what are your thoughts five years later? Is it still the best TV you've ever seen, Nicole? Does it still haunt you when you do stand-up shows this year? I would love to know, love you both, and so happy the pod is back. Sincerely, Austin. It's been five years? I did not know it was five years.

That's crazy. I can't believe. it hasn't been five years because 2025 wait we're in 2026 now I feel like it hasn't been five years

22 it happened yeah three three years three or four years yeah whoa that really that got me

I was like five years what are we doing where are we going hey time's really so fast I really did like have an aneurism I was like oh my God

It is still peak television. It is still one of the best pop culture moments we have had. It is still crazy. Nothing has topped it. It's been almost four years and not one thing has... That's true. Nothing has topped it. No.

Nothing's been as exciting or like news generating since that is pop culture. I've seen videos that have gone viral but nothing. got me as good as when I saw that slap because I didn't see it live. So when Julia told me about it when I was like going to your house, she opened the door and was like Chris Rock slap. Or no, yeah, Will Smith could slap Chris Rock. And I was like,

what? And I watched it. I was like, what? Like, I felt alive. In a way that I hadn't felt alive watching an award show since Adel DeZeme. And I seriously maintain peak entertainment.

I don't know what's going to top it. Yeah. I'm still concerned. I don't think anything good has come from the slap. Jader wrote a book and just kept destroying her husband over and over again. Will started rapping again. And I'm not saying we don't want music from Will, but he started rapping about the slap, and I think that was a bad move.

I don't think anything good came from that. He started rapping about the slap. Don't wrap about the slap. Yeah. And then I think he like released a video where he had like, it was like an AI crowd because there wasn't that many people. But I like the song and I like the video where he's little and there's little ladies. I know, he's big and there's little ladies.

I don't know. He went back to music because of the slap. And I think that's good. I don't hate that he went back to music. I just feel like maybe the energy would have been different if the slap hadn't happened. I don't know if he would have gone back to music if the slap hadn't happened because he would have continued acting because he wouldn't have been exiled. That's true. That's true. That's true. But it is funny that he's not going by the fresh prince anymore.

I guess it's because he's not fresh. He'd have to be like the right prince. And like prince feels like young. He's like older. So I feel like. A slapping king. He should have rebranded. The dirty king.

The dirty king. I mean, yeah, I stand by it. I have never been more entertained. And thinking about it, I have a big smile on my face and a smile on my heart. Like, I, just, bam! I mean, it was crazy. I was excited at the moment it happened, but yes, still concerned. Keep my wife's name out of your mouth.

The whole thing. The whole thing. Lapid and Yang just did the crowd. The only thing is I, if I could time travel, that's where I'm going. Oh, wait, how would I get in? You just get in. Well, there would be security and stuff just because I'm time traveling doesn't mean there's not security. I'm going to time travel over and over and over again until I can see it live.

So you're going to like change parts of your career so that you get invited? Yes. Yeah. I'm going to figure out how to do a movie with Merrill Street. Just so you can invite. Maybe not Merrill. I don't know who was nominated that year. I'll have to do some research and then end up in a movie with them.

But we do have to wrap it up. Yeah. Well, this was fun. It was fun. And I'm going to think about that slot for the rest of the day. Well, if you have any comments or questions or memories that you want us to revisit, you can call us at our number. 323. 323-23-28-6554. We also have an email address.

It's Nicole and Sashir at gmail.com. Goodbye. Bye. Best Friends is a production of HeadGum Studios. Our producer is Ali Khan. Our executive producers, Anya Kan of Skaya. The show is edited, mixed, and engineered by Rochelle Chek. Hi, I'm Drew Afuallo.

And I'm Dason Offoallo. And we host the HeadGum podcast, Two Idiot Girls. Each episode, we're discussing plenty of topics that you would be giggling at a sleepover with your weird cousins. We talk about all kinds of things, like weird dating horror stories, maybe a really bad wedgy you had once or even a show you're loving and anything in between. So you can listen to Two Idiot Girls on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube. New episodes will be posted every Tuesday.