Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Nicole And Sasheer Wish You A Happy New Year!

Episode Date: January 4, 2023

Nicole and Sasheer are stuck in Groundhog Day, Happy New Year! Nicole isn’t vibing with being able to edit texts after sending them, thus reminding Sasheer of an awkward moment in the show Popular. Sasheer and Nicole take on the most intense quiz yet and it’s all about pie, not the math kind. Lastly, your besties answer queries about how to handle conflicts between coworkers, how to navigate romantic relationship ambiguity, and a listener email reminds us all of the amazing pink police cars in Mexico.  Email or call Nicole & Sasheer with your friendship questions at:[e-mail] Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link https://siriusxm.com/friends and code FRIENDS.

Hi, Nicole. Oh, you froze. Oh, did I really? On my end. And I was so confused. I was like, are we going to start? But we started. Well, you also look like you froze and but I thought you were just

looking at me like like you look like sorry like I was like can you start it yeah you're like hello and I was like oh god uh I guess I'll start usually you say hi first no you started you took a drink and then you stayed that way. And I was like, oh, no, we're never going to start. No. Here we are. Hello, hello, hello. Daylight savings time is truly still kicking my ass. I don't like it.

I hate that it's dark so fucking early. Who did this? Who? The farmers. I hate them. Hey, we don't hate the farmers. The farmers are necessary.

They're bringing us food. And that's important. They're not the ones who made the rule. The government. I forget. I have to support the farmers. We have to support the farmers. I just... It's awful.

5 p.m. it's pitch black and then I have to support the farmers. I just, it's awful. 5 p.m. It's pitch black. And then I have to like go on and do more things. And then by the time it's 11 or 10, I'm like, it's been dark for years. People die with the change. People have died.

Because you, you've said that before. Have I said that? I think that's because it's like the change is like too abrupt for their sleep schedule and some people like straight up like have heart attacks and die wow or like other health problems i understand it is very abrupt it's terrible happy new year Happy New Year.

Happy New Year, Nicole. I was given information and I ran with it. Wait, should we start over or are we leaving that in? Leave it in. Leave it all in. Okay. Happy New Year, Nicole. Have you made any resolutions?

No, I rarely do. Oh, interesting. Just because I feel like my goals are goals whenever. And it doesn't matter what time of the year it is. Yes, diva. Own that. It doesn't fucking matter what time of the year it is. You have goals that you will achieve. Exactly. Do you have resolutions? You do yours around your birthday, right? Yeah. And they're written in my planner. I no longer use a paper planner anymore, if you could believe it. Wait. I'm sorry. Hold on. Do you say you don't use a paper planner anymore? I gave up the paper planner like three or four months ago. I was like, I can't do I can't write it and have it in my phone. It's too much.

Wow. I know. I never thought I would i would give it up yeah i loved it it had a great run um also they stopped making the specific planner that i like that's true yeah yeah and it was really hard to adjust to a new planner okay well i'm glad if you did have to adjust that it was digital as opposed to a different format in the analog version. Pretty proud of myself. Hold on one second. I have to turn on my air conditioning.

It's really hot. Okay, go for it. Please hold. Don't go anywhere. Holding. Thank you for holding. It was getting so steamy in here. Oh, my goodness.

Well, reduce that temperature. A nasty little office that was just steamy. So steamy. It's so hot where I'm working. Who are we talking about? Happy New Year! Oh, no. This is actually a Groundhog's Day episode.

Just keep resetting. Do you have any resolutions? No, no, no, no, no. No, that's what we left off. Oh, you're a planner. You're digital now. Yeah, so now I'm fully digi. Also, speaking of digi, did your phone update?

No. I never allow my phone to update. Somehow Apple got me. And it updated itself two days ago. And now my number is weird and funky. The time. Oh, I've seen that. I don't like it.

I hate it. I hate it. hate it i didn't i also was avoiding the update for a long time and then i did update it once so now i can at least see the emojis people are sending me because there was a minute where it was just those lines and i was like what emoji are they sending i have no idea so i updated it now i know it's like a melty face or that embarrassed face the hands are on top of the eyes that's funny um but then i have another update that's like due that i haven't done so i don't want it also you can edit text now but i can't figure it out and i don't want to edit my text like after you send it yeah huh but it's sent when the person i've already seen it or like yeah i guess you try to edit before they read it no so it goes through and then another

text come through and it says edited too but now with the update i won't get that second text that says edit it too it'll just be edited you know how kanye released life of pablo and kept changing stuff that's what text messages are now whoa but wait so the person receiving the edited text it'll say that this text was edited? Unless you did the update. If you did the update, then it just edits it. Can you give me an example of like us texting and what that would look like? Like if you sent me something and then you wanted to edit it.

Or I guess we can do it right now. I don't quite... Okay, let me see if I can figure it out. Yeah. This is the content people come here for. Okay. Hello. And for. Okay. Hello. And then, okay.

Did you see it? Do you see it on your phone? Yes, I see. Hello. And then it says edited to hello, hi. But I don't understand the point of that because I know that you edited it. Yeah. I feel like you would want to edit, like on Instagram

in DMs, you can send something and if the person hasn't read it yet, you can unsend it and be like, psych, that never happened. Where this is just telling me that you wanted to change something. I don't know. Maybe it's still like you can

I don't know. You know how sometimes I send convoluted text messages that make no sense? I guess I could go back and read it and clarify, but I'm never going to do that. No, you're never going to do that. No, I don't want to. Have you guys never sent a text you regretted? No. Oh, absolutely.

But I feel like this is not helping that. Like, I feel like it would, because I still got the initial hello. It's not like the initial thing that Nicole texted went away and then it was replaced with what she actually meant. I can't like, I don't understand. I don't think, does this feature like get rid of the original text? If not, then it's like, what is the point?

Otherwise that text that you regret is still delivered. It's not like Gmail where you can rescind it after five seconds or something. Oh, I don't think I even knew about that feature. But I believe you only have five seconds to be like, ah, just kidding. I don't quit. Oh, please give me this job. I need I need this job I need to pay my rent now dang yeah dang-a-lang-a-lang did you watch the Ryan Murphy show

Popular of course I did with Leslie Bibb and the other woman I don't remember really much about the show but I do know there was a high school student who was dying and he wrote an email to everyone.

He knew individually telling them what he thought about them and scheduled and scheduled them to be delivered when he died. But then he didn't actually die so then the emails got sent anyway and now people are like hating him because they're like wait that's what you think about me isn't that crazy i love it we should do that or maybe i'll put that in my will be like here's what i really fucking thought about you you dummy oh no no that would be too terrible that would be too terrible did you i sent you that instagram post about a woman who died and she gave everyone who came to her funeral

a ouija board and said keep in touch i. I loved it. Very funny. Very funny. I love when people have a little bit of humor with their death. Yeah, it's very funny. A little death with a side of humor. There we go. I mean, it's inevitable. So why not have a little fun with it? It's true.

Should we do a quiz? Let's do a quiz. Let's do a quiz. Q-U-I-Z. Since this will be the first episode of the new year, do you guys want to talk about any, like, New Year's resolutions or plans for the new year? Right, Kimmy, this is the first one for the new year do you guys want to talk about any like new year's resolutions or or plans for the new year right kimmy this is the first one for the new year yeah yeah it is jordan were you not listening we had a whole section about new year's resolutions and how we don't have them

wow shaking my dang head jordan's not listening jordan's not listening. Listen to women. Believe women when they say they don't have a resolution. Never mind. I'm cutting all this. So sorry. No, leave this in. No, actually leave it in. Because it really, it does feel like this is a Groundhog's Day episode. We just keep revisiting the beginning of the episode.

Happy New Year! I was messaging her ideas for sound effects, so I probably distracted her right when you guys said it to defend Jordan. I promise I listen. I bet our voices aren't even in her headphones. She's listening to music right now.

Yeah, she's listening to her own very nice songs. Just on repeat. Wait, so Shira, do you have plans for the new year? I guess not plans. I feel like you're just, you're being Rihanna. Work, work, work, work, work. Yeah, I'll be going to Atlanta

pretty soon to shoot Agatha, which will be great. She's in the Marvel Universe. She's in the MCU, which is not the original one. The original one is the Madea Cinematic Universe. She's in the second one

and I'm so proud of her. Honestly, I can't say it enough. I'm so happy. Oh, thank you so much. Thank you. It's so fucking cool. It's really fucking cool. Yeah, I'm very, very, very, very excited. I hope you have a nice time and everyone's nice to you and gives you kisses and hugs when you want them.

Yes, if I receive kisses and hugs, I hope they are consensual. Well, you know, sometimes I feel like you don't want to be touched. So like... You're thinking about you. Oh.

I like hugging. You do like hugging. You are always trying to hug me. I'm always trying to hug you and you try to block me. I really... Or you clam up. But you're doing so much better.

You're working on it. Thank you. I'm trying to break down my walls. And I can see that. I see it. I notice it. I see the growth. Thank you.

Can I tell you? I found this new hair care product. I think it's called Mishi. Uh-oh. Okay, Kimmy, will you look it up i think it's m-i-c-h-e mishi it's for i think it's for natural black lady natural hair but my god the mousse really defines my curls i mean i have i slept it, so it's not good, but. Ooh, that's a good one. Right?

And it was all like that yesterday. But then I put on a wig cap and a wig and it kind of flattened them out. And then I went to sleep. Is this a mousse? It's a mousse. Okay. They have styling gel cream stuff. There's like curl refresher.

I like their clarifying shampoo and the conditioner good i love this yeah i'm really excited it's the first time i've like found a product where i was like oh i think this like actually works for my hair because i don't think my hair does well with a lot of chem chems yeah well thank goodness kim thank goodness. Kimmy, did you find it? I did. And I confirmed it is pronounced Mish. You did it. Yes, that is the brand.

And I fucking love it. That's it. I just wanted to share that with you. So do you wash your bald head? I do wash my bald ass head. What a wild way for me to phrase that. You wash that bald head, Baldi? I do wash. I do wash my bald ass head what a wild way for me to phrase that you wash that bald head baldy i do wash i do wash my bald head and i thought i shampoo it and i condition it because i still get dandruff if it's

like dry so and you could really see it since my i have no hair to hide it so yeah i do still shampoo and condition it um i and i thought like I can just get whatever shampoo and conditioner because like like I have such little hair. Who cares? But I got something from CVS. I'm not gonna say what it was, but I just like got some random something. And I was like, oh, this doesn't feel like I didn't feel good. It was like sticky or I don't know. I don't know.

I just did not feel good. It felt like chemicals. I don't know. I just did not feel good. It just felt like chemicals. It felt like a lot of chemicals on my hair. Even though I don't have a lot of hair, I still don't want to do that to it. So my friend Sabrina Rowe has a brand called Natural. It's like N-T-R-L. And I've been using her shampoo and conditioner and I like it a lot. And she has these shampoo conditioner bars.

It's like a bar as opposed to like a liquid. Like a soap bar? Like a soap bar and I just rub it right on my head directly. Wild. What a treat. What's it called again? Natural and it's N-T-R-L. Mm-hmm.

And I like it. N-T-R-L. Natural without the vowels. Oh, my God. Vowels. Yes, without the vowels. My God, that was really tough. Sometimes I worry about my brain. No, you're doing great.

Oh, thank you so much. Okay. Jordan, can we do a quiz now? Yeah, is it okay with you, Jordan? If we do a quiz now. Jordan, can we do a quiz now? Yeah, is it okay with you, Jordan? If we do a quiz now? Jordan, can we do a quiz now? Wait, Jordan. What are your New Year's resolutions?

Yeah. Sounds like you're dying to talk about resolutions. Let's hear what yours are. No, I truly, I missed it and I'm sorry. No, it's okay. We're just making fun of you. I'm filming, I missed it and I'm sorry. No, it's okay. We're just making fun of you. I'm filming, I'll be filming a music video. My album officially comes out in February. Ooh, yes, yes, yes.

Does it have a name? Can you say the title of it? The name of the album is No Big Deal and there's five full tracks on it. And it's nerve wracking and scary. i'm just trying to do more music and yeah promote that so that's amazing congratulations thank you i also want to say i also want to say a really big uh thank you for letting me share my stuff on your podcast because so many people have gone to my music video and have commented like, Nicole and Sashir brought me here. And I'm like, ah, this is so nice. Of course.

Yay. You're in the family. We got to promote. Yes. Anything you want to promote. Songs. Anything, really. That's it.

I couldn't think of one other thing. the only other thing in my head was pie and i was like songs and pie yeah if you got a good pie you want to talk about we can yeah anything really songs pie i make a great chocolate cream pie so oh there we go well happy new year well happy new year imagine that became a phrase people said there well well well happy new year happy new year i wonder what that would mean is it like you know what like maybe it's like uh the end of something or you're like i'm like cleansing this i'm done with this and we're on to a new year like if someone like uh i don't know is bringing bad energy you're like well happy new year i'm moving on i like that i'm gonna try to say it. I will immediately forget after this episode. Yes. Okay.

Let's do a quiz now. Yeah. Oh, what about eat some pie in every flavor to determine which holiday you are most like? Which is topical because we were just talking about pie and holidays. Specifically, Happy New Year. Happy New Year. Happy New Year! Pick a classic pie. Apple pie.

Pumpkin pie. Chocolate pie. Pecan pie. I do love an apple pie. I'm gonna say pumpkin pie. I'd prefer a sweet potato, but I will take a pumpkin.

Pick a fruity pie cherry pie key lime pie lemon meringue pie blueberry pie i think i say key lime pie okay sometimes it's a little too tangy for me. It's got tang for sure. But I like the combination of the whipped cream and the tang. Cherry pie is disgusting. I guess lemon meringue because I'm not eating a blueberry pie. Okay. Pick another pie. Mint chocolate chip pie. Coconut cream pie.

Caramel pie. I don't think I've seen a chip pie. Coconut cream pie. Caramel pie. I don't think I've seen a caramel pie. Me either. Peanut butter pie. Peanut butter pie. I'm going to also say peanut butter pie. Pick a pie. Chocolate pudding pie.

Oreo pie. Strawberry pie. banana cream pie maybe i'll do chocolate well i like oreos too the strawberry pie looks wild i don't understand how it's held together it just looks like a pile of strawberries on crust that's truly what it looks like. I'm picking an Oreo pie. I think I'm going to do chocolate pudding. Pick another pie. So many pies. Hot chocolate pie. What? A snickerdoodle pie.

Cookie dough pie. Peach pie. I would love to know what a snickerdoodle pie is. I'm going to go with that one. Cookie dough pie. Oh, no, but what about peach? Um, cookie dough pie. Oh no, but what about peach? Also, isn't it called peach cobbler or is it a peach pie?

Those are two different things. Happy new year. Well, well, well, okay. Then I'll keep my peaches for the cobbler and I'll have a cookie dough pie. I'll keep my peaches for the cobbler and I'll have a cookie dough pie. I'll keep my peaches for the cobbler. I'd like that to be a phrase too. Well, I'll keep my peaches for the cobbler. Well, happy new year.

I'll keep my peaches to the cobbler. Pick a pie. Matcha pie. i don't know what that is what's matcha it's like tea right ew a tea pie okay blackberry pie raspberry pie cinnamon roll pie i'm learning that i'm not much of a pie person there's so many pies i don't even know about I didn't realize there was much of a variety Huge pie world out there Cinnamon roll pie Okay Maybe a raspberry

I'll do a raspberry pie Pick a pie No, red velvet pie That's a cake That's a damn cake That is a cake Funfetti pie That's's a cake that's a damn cake that can't fool me okay funfetti pie that's also a cake these are not looking like cakes boston cream pie is that a pie yeah and a brownie pie is a brownie

that's just a brownie friends my goodness we didn't need this many questions about pie because captain a couple ago what is what is this quiz i guess i'm gonna pick boston cream pie because it's really the only pie in this section i'm gonna pick funfetti pie because what is it yeah it's like a birthday cake pie pick a pie cookie pie pie. Which is a cookie. A dark chocolate pie. S'mores pie. Which is s'mores. A tiramisu pie.

Just because in a circle. Are we classifying? Doesn't make thee a pie. Right? Are we just saying things that are in a circle are pies? Because sometimes things in a circle are cakes. Pies are defined by their crust. A filled pie, also a single crust or bottom crust, has a pastry lining the baking dish. And the filling is placed on top of the pastry but left open.

So if it has a crust, it's a pie. So I guess we can't see the bottom of some of these pictures so so we just have to take the picture's word for it yeah but i know that cookie pie is not in a pie crust i know that with my heart of hearts so don't believe that the tiramisu pies is in a crust no who would ever? Who? Who? Okay. I mean, I do like tiramisu a lot. I don't know if I like it in pie form, but I will pick it. I know I don't want a cookie with a pastry bottom, but I'm going to go with that cookie pie.

Yeah. Pick a pie. This is never ending. Oatmeal cream pie. Orange creamsicle pie. Yeah. Pick a pie. This is never ending. Oatmeal cream pie. Orange creamsicle pie. Cannoli pie. Rocky Road pie. Wild. This is the most intense pie quiz I've ever taken.

And I've taken a lot of pie quizzes in my day. I'm taking pie quizzes all day, every day. None have, nary have been as intense as this. Okay. That orange creamsicle pie looks like a real treat. So I'm going to pick that one. I'm going to say oatmeal cream pie. Because it's like one of those little snacks.

Like little Debbie snacks. Yes. I like those. Pick one last pie. A Nutella pie. A pina colada pie. Cookies and cream pie. A caramel frappuccino pie.

That looks like a cake. Yeah. I'm going to go with Nutella pie. I'm going to go with cookies andino pie. That looks like a cake. Yeah. I'm going to go with Nutella pie. I'm going to go with cookies and cream pie. It's definitely a cake. Yeah, it is a cake for sure. This is Nicole. Oh, I'm Thanksgiving.

The glue that holds everything and everyone in your life together. Whenever there's a peacemaker needed, you step in and settle things down. You like to constantly be surrounded by friends and family. And this is the cheer. I'm Christmas. You're all about spreading cheer and keeping positive thoughts. You're a big fan of surprises,

both being surprised and surprising others. You'd much rather give than receive. I feel like ours got switched. Or I don't know. I don't think I'm with Thanksgiving either. Nobody's Thanksgiving, because Thanksgiving's a terrible holiday.

Roll. Chrissy Columbus came on over and was rude to everybody. So rude. Rude, rude, rude, rude, rude. He was that boy Rihanna was talking about. He's a rude boy. Rude boy. Come and get it.

Rude boy. How does that go? Come on, rude boy, boy. Come on, rude boy, boy. Take it, take it, take it, take it, take it. Come on, come on. That one. Yeah.

That was a lovely rendition. I loved it so much. Oh, thank you so much. Should we answer questions? Yeah, let's answer some queries, ma dude. Hell yeah, hell yeah dude okay so i got cut off which means that it was entirely too fucking wrong but pretty much my co-worker turned friend uh took advantage of my kindness when i offered to help her move out of her apartment um to a different state i offered to donate something for her and then after we loaded the car up, she was like, actually, can you take it to a consignment shop

and, like, sell them for me because I really need the money with moving. But I already didn't really like her because at work we butt heads several times. After I onboarded her to the account that I was on that she is now leading, and any time I would check in with her or like ask her about a project or how something was going, she took it as being micromanaging and not trusting her capabilities when I was very explicit that that was not the case, that I thought she was more than capable and that I was genuinely interested in a project. And it got to the point where she was like sending me very long messages when I'm like, hey, we should just talk in person to a point where she like called me a snake and said that what I was doing was like I was trying to get that position back from her when she knows damn well I don't want that fucking position because it caused me so much fucking stress.

job send the prayers send the energy whatever religion but she now still wants to be friends she lives in a different state she texts me I'm one worded or kind of short she tries to set up like face time with me because we both smoke and it's just like I don't really want to do that anymore but we do still have a co-worker relationship so I don't know how to end the friend side of things in a nice way because I am historically not nice but I would not like to burn this bridge I do value her as a working not really but like I should like I just don't want to burn bridges you never know um yeah so any any notes on how to scale back on a co-worker relationship turn friendship would be greatly appreciated i love you both very much you're such a joy in my life that you're not actually in my life because yeah i act like you guys are my friends but you're not um my pronouns are they them i will say that

and you can call me whatever the fuck you want to um i'm so confused by this co-worker that was like i need help moving now go sell my clothing oh boy oh boy no no no no get out of here friend with that nonsense that's pushing your yeah friend's generosity yeah i don't like them um this one's tough so so the friend who moved moved to a different state and do do they still work at the same company or like no longer co-workers it seems like they're they're co-workers because she transferred whatever case she was on to the friend and the friend was like, stop micromanaging me. And I guess they still work

at the company even though they moved. That's why they don't want to burn that bridge professionally. But FaceTiming and smoking together isn't professional at all. Sure isn't. I don't think it's a necessary thing you have to maintain to make sure

that work relationship is still intact. But I think there's a world where you, you just go, Hey, I think we just keep this like work. I, I, I'm having trouble separating work and pleasure right now.

So I'd like to keep you in my work life. I interrupted you this year. I'm having trouble separating work and pleasure right now so I'd like to keep you in my work life I interrupted you this year, I'm sorry no, no, it's okay but what if what you just said makes that person feel bad what if they're like, oh, oh you're basically saying you don't want to be my friend but you do have to kind of say that.

But like, how do you stop this person from texting you or expecting FaceTimes? I think you just say like, I'm really overwhelmed right now. And I don't have like, I don't have the brainpower for this friendship. Yeah. Yeah. for this friendship yeah yeah uh i keep bringing up this thing that kimmy said i don't know what episode it was but uh like not having the bandwidth to be the friend that person needs like yeah you can say something like yeah i got a lot on my work plate and my life plate whatever they don't have to know specifics um and uh yeah i don't know

if i can dedicate that much time to our friendship so it's such a weird thing to say because like it's just texts and well not just i guess I guess also FaceTimes and smoking sessions. Yeah. I mean, I guess you could be like, I don't really feel comfortable with our smoking sessions anymore since we are coworkers. Oh,

didn't the caller also say they're trying to stop smoking or like smoke less? Maybe they could be like, I'm not really into smoking like that anymore so like i'm gonna stop doing these facetime sessions where we do that because i'm not trying to get high like that or something like that like for my health i'm not i'm gonna step back from doing that so at least that's like but there's a world where they're like, we can still FaceTime and I'll smoke and you don't have to. Or neither of us can smoke.

This one's tough for whatever reason. Yeah. Do you other people on the mic have? Do you other people on the mic? Well, I didn't want to be like, do you guys or do you ladies? I just like, I was like, you people here on the Zoom. You people here on the Zoom with microphones. What say they? I personally think this one's a little on our collar to have boundaries and that that's not a bad thing.

Like, honestly, it sounds like they didn't like this person person but they felt like they were supposed to help move this move them yeah and i think this person didn't need to do that didn't need to go sell the clothes and so this person should feel empowered to have boundaries and not say yes to helping people that they do not have a good relationship with it's not you're not a bad person if you just don't help every single person you come across so i think my encouragement for this person is the only reason they're not burning a bridge which being civil and just kind of drifting out of someone's life isn't burning a bridge it's just being we live in different states and i don't have time to respond all the time or to answer facetime so yeah there are two kinds of people in the world the kind who sort of just let you

drift quietly and kind of read the signs of like oh these are short responses and then the kind of people who are a little pushy and those people tend to like straightforward answers i think it's really fair to say hey you know what you moved i'm really caught up with work as you know it's a really busy job and it's stressful so i'm happy to occasionally stay in touch but i just want to set expectations i just have a lot going on right now and i i'm not going to be the most responsive friend i just i don't don't know, if someone said that to me, I'd be sad, but I wouldn't be like, wow, how mean. I'd be like, they know what they need, and I maybe should build more friendships in the state I'm in. So I just want our caller to feel empowered to set boundaries. I really like, I might not be responsive right now.

Yeah. Yeah, I like that a lot for whatever reason. It's like, ooh, okay. Yeah, I like that too. All right, I understand. Mm. Yeah. I like that a lot for whatever reason. It's like, Ooh, okay. Yeah. All right. I understand. Yeah. Solved. Solved. Great job team. We did it. Everybody on the mics did a good job. All right. Here's another one. Hi, Nicole and Sashir. My name is Casey and I'm calling from California. My problem is that I've been dating my boyfriend now for about a year and he still hasn't met my family or friends. And that's not on purpose. Like, how do I phrase it? On purpose, like, how do I phrase it? Like, I'm not keeping him away from them, but I'm also, I don't know, I just feel like it's not super necessary right now. But now I'm getting a lot of pressure from friends and family to start bringing him to events and stuff. And it's not, again, not that I don't want to.

I'm just a little bit, like, nervous to bring it up to him because I'm kind of scared to, like, have the conversation of, like, oh, well, how deep is this going to get? Like, you know, how much longer are we going to continue seeing each other? Because I mean, we've already said, I love you. And we kind of discussed everything else really openly, but my family kind of means the whole world to me. And I don't really want to accidentally like bring someone around who isn't going to be around forever. I also have three older sisters who are extremely judgmental, and I'm the baby of their family. So I really just don't want to get shit on for bringing home kind of a not great person, if that turns out to be the case.

So anyway, yeah, my question is, how do I approach this conversation with my boyfriend? Do I have to invite him and have a deeper conversation or can I just make it like normal and be fine? Anyway, those are my questions. So have a great day and thank you for listening. Bye. Okay. Our caller said some troubling things for me. That she's worried that her boyfriend might not be a good person or something. Yeah.

What happens if I bring home a not great person? Yeah. So I'm like, are you protecting your family from your boyfriend and not yourself? Because if he's not a great person, you shouldn't be around him either. And there is a reason why you haven't introduced this man to your family and friends. And I think you got to answer that question before you answer people being like,

why don't you bring him around? Why don't you want to bring him around? Yeah, this seems like a more of a self-reflective thing. Do you actually want to introduce your boyfriend to your family and friends? Like for yourself, not because of what he wants, not because of what your family and friends want. Like, what do you want? not because of what he wants not because of what your family and friends want like what do you want and if it's a no then yeah what's why is that the answer are you embarrassed of him do you think he's

not actually like the person you'd be proud to show to your family and friends is is he volatile like what's going on um or is it do you do you think your family i guess she said she has two judgmental sisters but if you really love this person it kind of doesn't matter like it sure your sisters are judgy but like they can think whatever they want to think if you love this person and and want them in your life and stand by them it kind of it could it can just roll off your back. It doesn't have to matter what their opinion is. Yeah, then are your friends judgy too?

Because there's a lot of people that you haven't, you know, brought this person around. I would like to know why this person, other than a judgy sister, why they haven't thought to bring them around friends. Yeah, and everyone has their own timeline for their relationships. But a year seems like a good chunk of time to not have them around your friends.

Like, even, like, hanging out. Like, there's never been, like, a birthday party or, like, a group hang or anything that you thought about bringing your boyfriend to? Yeah. After a year, it seems pretty pointed that you're not bringing him around even for your own birthday like yeah like what do you like do you have like a separate thing with your boyfriend and a separate thing with your friends how interesting and then the questions of like you know we've you know do we have to have these conversations of like what

where are we going with this or like how long are we planning on being together, et cetera. You're already dating. It's not like there's a question. It seems like you're already dating. You have been dating for a year and you said, I love you. So it's not like, what are we? You're in a relationship. So I guess, you know, marriage and like other life stuff, those are, those can be questions, but also don't have to be questions right now. Those are, those things ought to be thought about for him to meet your people in your life. Yeah. And if you don't stay together, that's not like a failure on your part or anything. Like you'll just find somebody else. You'll find someone who's a better match. Yeah. People, I think generally people understand

relationships don't always last. So if you bring your partner around your friends or your family and it doesn't work out and he's not there the next year, I think that's fine. I mean, I would hope that they're not like, why'd you even introduce me? He was just gonna leave. Why'd you bring this man

around? I learned his name and everything. Yeah. I'm mad i had to learn a new name i had to shake his hand i had to talk about sports with him how dare you i hate sports yeah i think it also i think your friends or family are asking about him because they love you and they know that you love a person. And so they probably want to meet the person you love. So they just want to get more insight on your life. It's not necessarily a pressure thing of like, you have to bring this person around or like, what's the next step in your relationship? They probably just want to know who he is.

Yeah, they want to see the person who makes you happy. Yeah. So if this person does make you happy, I think you should bring them around the other people who make you happy. Yeah. So if this person does make you happy, I think you should bring them around the other people who make you happy. I think so, too. Yeah. I hope that helped. I hope so, too. Give us an update. Give us an update. Solved until we hear the update. I got an email. Hi, guys. Love the podcast. I just wanted to email you and tell you thank you for the full belly laugh you gave me this afternoon. I've been so stressed because I have a baby and I'm going through a divorce and domestic violence situation, but oh my God,

Nicole, you caught me off guard and I almost wrecked my car. Ha ha. I was getting off the freeway. Once this year was talking about the pink police cars in Mexico and Nicole, you hit us with a, but I mean, if I was beating my wife and I saw that, I don't think, I don't know if I'd stop. I scrumped the way I cackled mouth open,

head back. Ha ha. I kept trying to drive, but then I was crying from laughing. I literally had to pause the podcast, wipe my eyes and try to get myself together before I could hit play again and continue driving. You two are hilarious and I love your friendship. Thank you for brightening my Wednesdays with your joy. that's nice I'm glad that my domestic violence joke brought her so much or brought them so much joy well I mean also

it sounds like they're going through it as far as domestic violence in particular so it's probably good that they could laugh about it it in some way yeah that's all we're trying to do. Get the people laughing.

Get the people laughing. Let's do another one. No, we don't have time for another one. We're done. We don't? We're done? I think that's it. Wow.

Happy New Year. We've come to the end. Happy New Year, everybody. It's the new year. Okay. We have an email. Okay. Oh, everybody. It's the new year. OK, if you want to email. OK, no. Yeah. No, it's no.

You do it. If you want to email us, you can email Nicole and Sashir at Gmail dot com or call or text or leave a voice memo at 424-645-7003. tags or leave a voice memo at 424-645-7003. We also have merch at podswag.com slash best friends. We have transcripts for our new episodes too, and you can check them out on our show page at earwolf.com. Lastly, don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe. That's the easiest way to support the show. That's it for us. Happy New Year from Nicole and Sashir.

Bye.