Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Nicole and Sasheer's Excellent Adventure

Episode Date: December 3, 2025

Nicole and Sasheer are back from a night out on the town to catch up with each other about kissing in the rain, the joy of lasagna, butt facials, neutering and Nicole's giraffe family.Watch this full video on YouTube and follow below!Follow Nicole: Twitter, Instagram, TikTokFollow Sasheer: Instagram, TikTokLike the show? Rate Best Friends 5 stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts!Have a friendship question for Nicole and Sasheer to solve? Leave us a voicemail at [phone]‬ or write in at [e-mail] Friends is a production of Headgum Studios. Our producer is Allie Kahan. Our executive producer is Anya Kanevskaya. The show is edited, mixed, and engineered by Richelle Chen.This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Best Friends via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Goods, they give back $1 to a non-profit partner of your choice. They've donated more than $3.1 million to date. So wait! Cross those names off your list before the rush. To get 15% off your next gift, go to Uncommonogoods.com slash best friends. That's uncommongoods.com slash best friends for 15% off. Uncommon goods, we're all out of the ordinary. Yeah, they're great. When I first started dating that nice man in my life, I was like, what was your favorite band in high school?

I'll go first. Limp Biscuit. He said, why don't you just lie? And I was like, oh, no, because he thinks it's embarrassing? I guess. What the hell? I'm a proud limp biscuiter. Yeah.

And we went to Slovakia. It's not called that. It's North. Yes, Slowang. And we played significant other, which is my favorite. Biscuit album on the way up and then when we were driving back I was this feels there we go I was like should we listen to significant other again and he was like no and then I went okay and I put it on and then he just started skipping the songs like all of the

songs yeah so the album would be done he was like I guess we have to listen to something else rude but I get it yeah let me listen to it the whole way like not the whole way but at least once or twice threw on the way there. Do you listen to albums and songs, like, and repeat, like over and over again? Yeah. Same. But I feel like, I don't know if everyone does that, though. Like, I'll get in a mood where I'm just like, I only want to listen to telecreator over and over again.

I, here's the wildest thing. I think everybody is the same until I'm told different. I thought everybody used mouthwash every single day. And apparently people don't. Yeah. I don't. Do you guys use mouthwash every day? I do.

Yeah, I do. Oh. This is crazy. I thought you would say no. Because a lot of people tell me no. You're in the majority here. I guess I'm in the majority. Yeah.

Finally, I'm a majority. Yeah. I'm a majority. You are a majority. Do you guys listen to songs over and over and over again? Oh, yeah. Mine's right now the Lily Al. Lily Album.

It should have been in the Lilly album. The Lilly album. She really missed out. Mine's rent. And I've been now, it's been rent. But I'm not listening to it in order. I'm listening to it on shuffle. It is in opera.

In order is the play. So I'm just all over the place with it. And I've been really liking it. Sometimes I'll cover you reprise happens before I'll cover you. So it's like angels dead and then angels alive. Oh, no. What a whirlwind. It's crazy. That's funny.

Also, okay. In your old age, you like birds more. I do like birds more, yeah. I love birds. Yeah. What about plants? I do like plants more, yeah. I, on the way here, pulled over my car to steal flowers that I liked.

My mom does it all the time. But then I felt weird because there was somebody walking their dog, so then I put them back in the bush. Did you already take them out? Yes. And then I put them back at the bush. So they're just like dead in the bush? Yeah. And I'm sure it was weird if I had just, I think it was weird that I put them back in.

I should have just taken them. Yeah. And I was also late. Like I was like, what am I doing? I'm wearing a leopard print raincoat, stealing flowers, putting the back in, talking to myself. I was like, I'm late. That's really funny. Boy, today's been a day.

Mm-hmm. We had a bill in. a Bill and Ted excellent adventure last night. We did. We went out. I've never seen that movie. I have seen that movie

but I don't remember anything about it. Well, it's probably just like our night out. Definitely. We went to dinner where the server won it. Nothing to do with me. Well, I think you were just like putting jokes out and she just didn't know what to do with them.

Okay. If you're a server and Sashir goes, I would like orange wine and then I go let's get funky thank you thank you she didn't laugh and then I said it again and I said it to the man who picked up the plates

and louder and she didn't like it nobody bit I was like really upset maybe she wanted to be in our business maybe but I think I looked at her and went let's get funky Yeah, it broke my heart Politely smiled and walked away

Yeah, I think she did one of these And then left Yeah And then when she poured the wine, I called it back And she still didn't laugh Yeah But then we went to high tops where I was accepted I shuffle off a buffaloed

I ran around We did a lot We were tab dancing We're talking to so many people I think at one point I was running around in circles, like actual circles, because I like my shoes. Yeah, you were saying how speedy your shoes feel and look, and then you gave an example and started like fake running to the bathroom. And then you actually got into a sprint. I was like, oh, she's actually wrong. And you didn't even look back to see if I was watching. I was like, she was fully running.

This is not even for me anymore. She's just going. sometimes bits are for other people but like I love these shoes so much I was I was like move it and then when I got to the bathroom I couldn't stop laughing because I was like you were you were really running it was so funny it was like just like first a little trot and I was like oh how funny I was like whoa and then you just changed gate and it's like an actual run And then I kept being like, it's like we've never been outside before. I know.

It was really funny. It really did feel like I had never been to a bar before. And I felt so old and young at the same time. I was running around, but then saying things that like old ladies say, oh, my God. What a time. What a time to be alive. It was good. We were like, we're going to go out and we did.

And now I feel a little slow today. I feel so slow. It's crazy. Yes. I was in the shower and I started laughing because I was like, whoa, I'm not homeover. I feel like I'm in my 20s again. And then had to rest my head against the shower and I went, I'm not in my 20s. That's really funny.

Just because I'm not hungover. It does not mean I'm youthful. Oh, my goodness. I don't have a headache or anything. I don't feel sick. But yeah, I was just like, I feel like a little. Well, it didn't help that. The sky opened up and started spitting at us.

Rain? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Rain is happening. I don't like the rain. I can't stay in the rain on my window. I did, I told you I put a like awning sun cover on my roof deck. And then I sat out there and listened to the rain and it was so nice.

That's really nice. Maybe you should sit outside somewhere under cover. Undercover. Yeah. Spire on the rain. Let's sit outside undercover. Hey, rain, I see you. Yeah.

Maybe I will. Maybe it'll be nice to, like, read a book. Because I played on my phone for too long today. I feel like when I'm inside and it's raining, it's like, ugh. But if I'm outside, I'm like, wow, how romantic, you know? Oh. Maybe I'll make that nice man kiss me in the rain. Do it.

Do it. I've never been kissed in the rain. Oh. Have you been kissed in the rain? Have I been kissed in the rain? It was rain's raining on you. No, just like rain near you. I feel like that's romantic.

It's very romantic. Like a nice warm light glow from somewhere at night with the rain and smooches. Oh. I guess, have I been kissing the rain? Maybe. I think so. But now I want to make it a point. I want to have a memorable kiss in the rain.

A memorable kiss in the rain. Yeah. Yeah. I think I'm going to do that tonight. Yeah. He's going to be like, why? Like, come over. Come on over.

Be romantic with me. Well, we are getting lasagna tonight. Oh, great. I'm so excited to get my fill. You got to get that lasagna. There's also a place, I think it's called Capri Club. They also have a pretty decent lasagna. Ooh, I haven't had it.

I think we should make an exodus there. No. Pilgrimage? Expedition. Pilgrimage. Expedition's also a very good word. Mm-hmm. Yeah, let's see that.

Oh. What did I have to tell you? Oh shit I can't remember This is tough Did this thought just come today Oh it just came right now And then it left almost immediately Yeah it's okay

Oh boy Oh boy I went right to sleep Oh I wanted to text you But I like picked up my phone and I went And then fell right asleep Last night Yeah I wanted to text you

I don't have a car I don't have a dog I'm Whitney Houston I have nothing I have nothing Nothing That's really funny I fell asleep laughing But you know

Like sometimes when you're like Oh I gotta go to sleep You're like oh I simply can't lift my phone up again To do anything I'm really glad I remembered that I'm glad you told me It's very funny It made me laugh so hard

Yeah I was like I gotta tell her And I was like I'll have to tell her in the morning I'm glad you did I went and scooped up Clyde I missed him so much Yeah I love him so much.

Does he freak out when you pick him up? Yes. Yeah. He's so excited to see me and it feels so good. Yeah. And then usually he'll, if I'm like, because I tried to go back to sleep after I picked him up, he'll sleep at the end of the bed, but then he snuggled with me. Mm-hmm. Oh, when he's a little snuggle bunny, it really means he missed me.

And I was like, and I missed you. Am I going to cry? I start sobbing about my dog. You love him. I really love him. Yeah. And sometimes during shows Not sometimes, I do a joke about him

And I'll be like, my dog Clyde And sometimes he gets an applause break And I was like, if only he knew You should tell him, let him know I did tell him, he just went He's like, I don't understand He's like, you didn't say walk, you didn't say treat, you didn't say dinner, I don't know what the fuck you're saying

He's like, who are these people? Your fans There was a time He ran out on stage once And people cheered And then he got so scared Imagine I mean it's very overwhelming

You've never been on stage before Right there's so many people And they're all clapping and yelling at you Yeah like confusing message Are they mad? Did I do something wrong? Isn't that funny? That should be scary

Yeah Getting on the stage and having people Like whooping and hollering at you Should be terrifying and I'm like I like I love it Give me more of that Give me more Give me more.

We just neutered tricks, our cat. Uh-huh. And I think he knew, I think he knew it was coming. He was mad. He was, like, screaming in the little case in the car. Oh, no. And then, but now he's, like, chill, but it might be the drugs. Probably.

And he has, like, a little, like. A little cone? It's not a cone. Or I guess it's like a tube. Like a donut. Oh. Around his little head. Yeah.

The dude I was dating years and years ago, I took his dog to get neutered. And that dog was so nice. The staff was like, he's the best. And I was like, I know he's the best. And then I brought him home. And then he just stood there on the couch and stared at the wall. And I was like, buddy, are you? okay and then he was shivering so then I put a blanket on him but he was still standing

and then he finally like laid down and then we cuddled and I was like are you okay animals when they're high are pretty funny I don't know what's going on they simply don't what's happening to me Clyde ate an edible once yeah twice three times he's eating an edible really yes and neither time was my fault I don't think. Yeah. He ate weed on a walk. Yeah.

Because we didn't have weed at the house at the time. He ate it on a walk and then he came back and truly was like, what are trees? Like, what is everything? He kept like staring at things and being like, and then he would get up on his high and legs and just pee a little. And I was like, what? And then I tried to give him a treat and it just fell out of his mouth. And I was like, he's dying. He loves treats.

And then the vet immediately was like, he's just stoned. I was like, okay. The second time I had weed, like weed chocolates, and they were in a package at the bottom of my backpack. Crazy. And this dog climbed into the backpack, moved things around with his little paws, grabbed them, I opened them up and ate them. And then John, when John was living with me, he was like, Clyde's high again. and like on cue he came like sliding into the roof and was like and then we just like had to help like hold him and you know just like pet him and keep

him wrapped up and then the third time I don't remember how he got it but he was stoned again wow he's a little he's a bad boy just getting high all the time he's getting influenced he's having are there bad influences at his camp maybe I mean Maybe a doggie daycare, like, one of the dogs is like, hey, man, you want to get high? And Clyde was like, oh, I guess I'll try it. I'll try it. I'll get high by myself. He's such a little silly billy.

Yeah. Wait. So, oh, never mind. I know what neutering is. I was like, wait, what is neutering for a cat? And then I was like, the same thing as neutering for a dog. Oh, my God. Sometimes I worry about this brain.

Yeah, it's okay. We're also running on a slower speed today. Sishir, but we could do this multiple days in a row. That's really crazy to think about that my body could take, could drink this much alcohol and be fine. And just be fine the next day. More alcohol. I used to drink a lot more.

Same. And then we'd just be like doop to doop to doop doop. That's crazy. It's crazy. I told you I went to McMannis with Allen in New York. And it was like fun to reminisce and be, I was like, ah, over there, I remember standing in front of our friend Phil and being way too drunk and him being like, are you okay? And over there, I remember Nicole and I were just staring at each other and dancing. Again, way too drunk.

Just I'll be haunting memories of being way too drunk in that place. That's really funny. Yeah, we were like bopping and staring at one another. And I think I was like, I kind of go. Yes. I can't be here anymore The way I used to live appalls me now

Because I would like Especially when I first moved out here Because I was touring a lot So I would like do shows Drink a ton after these shows And then get on a plane at 6 a.m. And then drink on the plane Land, take a nap, do a show

And then do the same thing ever like Yeah I can't, I'm getting shit-based and then getting on a plane at 6-8. Tough. That's crazy. But maybe because we were doing it regularly, it was like our bodies were used to it? Maybe. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't. Yeah, I think it was just we were younger. And I think when you get older, the alcohol is just, is bad. It's poison. It's poison. Poison. And I love it.

Because last Christmas. Christmas, I was spending with that nice man and his family and we were playing like a drinking game and like during the game I was fine. After dinner I was fine. The next day I was wrecked. Yeah. I was like oh my God. I think I might die. And then we drink again that night and then the next I was like I think this is I got to figure out a happy

medium. Yeah. Yeah. It's tough. It's tough in these streets. It's tough. I don't want to, like, get old, but also, I guess it's okay. I like it. Do you? I mean, as long as I'm healthy, but, yeah, I do like getting older. I feel like I'm wiser and smarter and stronger. Faster, stronger.

I'm definitely not faster. I don't know if I like it. My knee hurts today. Yeah. From dancing a little and running. A little. And then, like, the rain started. I was like, oh, it's like amplified from the rain.

I had to go down the stairs one foot at a time. Oh, no. I was like, ugh. Because I was like, I don't want to slip and hurt myself more. Oh, my goodness. Getting old's for the birds. It's true. Oh, my gosh, a bird died in front of my house.

I just saw the carcass. I think maybe it hit the window but it's really unclear because it's not like there's not a clear path that makes sense to me how this bird could have directly hit the window because it's like

close to the ground and like there's trees right in front of it but yeah there was a dead bird that's sad did you remove it? Yeah you did it? I did. Whoa! I swept into a dustpan and then just put it in the trash.

Whoa. You're a man. I have had dead animals around outside and had called people because I'm like, Ew, yucky, y'all handle that. But I was like, I mean, it's not going anywhere. It's really dead. And I'd rather get it out of here before it starts, like, getting maggots and stuff. Yeah.

I had a dead bird. on my fountain and then the other birds were just drinking the water and I was like guys that's your friend like go to a different fountain like that was flavored different like ew but then the fountain man was like you know you got a dead bird out there and I was like can you handle it I said oh no really in the fountain sounds like your jurisdiction right so he got rid of it recently there was a dead mouse in the driveway I like simply couldn't handle it so then John had to come over while he was on his way to the gym

so he stopped over to sweep it up and dispose of it. It's also funny. I feel like I wouldn't imagine John's more equipped to do that. Yup. Jackson scooped a bird, a dead bird out of the pool. Wow.

Yeah, they and then Meatball once came over or Meatball's boyfriend at the time came over to sweep a dead cockroach out of the garage. I just can't I can't

and I know I've told this story I go on Scott got by a possum That's true I know But a possum died It was playing dead I called a whole ass man To come scoop him

Because I was like Well that's a big animal I don't I don't think a friend can handle He said where's it at And I said Oh It's rude

I couldn't believe it I couldn't believe it Yeah And then that man was like I think it I think it was playing dead. And I was like, oh, yeah, you think it was lying dead? Humiliating.

But, like, when you saw it, it already looked dead, right? Or did it look, did it die, quote unquote, in front of you? No, no, no. When I walked past it, it was just, like, dead. But, like, isn't that supposed to be a reaction to a predator? I think it heard me coming up the stairs and was like. And then my dumb ass was like, oh, my God. Yeah.

Just humiliating. Oh my God. I saw the Great Raccoon who lives in my backyard. The Great Raccoon? It's huge. It's like a fucking horse. Oh, my gosh. It's so big.

Whoa. And it falls. It's really funny. So it like tries, kind of. It tries to like leave through the bushes and then sometimes it can't and it'll like tumble back. Pretty funny. I love him. The Great Raccoon.

I love the Great Raccoon. Is he by himself? Yeah. I don't know if he's the same or part of the family that used to come and take baths in the pool but they'd like their little hands and I would just be like laughing

inside as they wash their little hands they got to keep them clean they use them for so much they got to keep their hands clean because they use them for so much they do raccoons are they're a wild little creature they're pretty wild looking they're like real animal looking but then they have those hands

Yeah. I don't like it. I don't like it either. One time I saw a raccoon, like, climbing down a fence upside down, like head towards the ground. It was just like, Tom Cruise, like, going down this fence. I was like, why? What's happening? That is wild. Yeah, why would you, that's...

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when I'm running around doing that all the same time as cooking, readying the house, and all that other prep that has to happen before hosting. But this year, I'm determined to get started earlier, and now I have an extra great reason to. Macy's friends and family is going on now, which means 30% off their best brands, and 15% off beauty, too. So I can get everyone on my list something extra special. I'm definitely going to grab a few beauty gift sets from my nieces. They're both in high school now and getting a little more into makeup.

So that'll be really fun for them. And a benefit for me is that the sets are already wrapped and ready to give so there's no way I can procrastinate on wrapping. Yep, there really is something to knowing thyself. And while I'm there, I'm going to take advantage and refresh my holiday wardrobe a little. They have so many cute dresses, and like I said, so many of their designer brands are 30% off. So that also means I won't be last minute shopping for my look when all those holiday parties roll around. This time of year can be tough.

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Like... Maybe they exfoliate your butt? Yeah, I like put creams on it. Yeah, do you... Let's look up booty facials. And would it be a bushel? Because a facial's for your face. Yes, a facial is for your face.

Uh-oh, I hit my time limit on Instagram. I had to ask for more time. Please, Instagram, let me have more time. So it's Bumby, Bumby Beauty. and they're in downtown L.A. And they specialize in booty facials. Wow. And, ooh, it's a little pricey.

$200. I mean, that's about the price of the facial. Oh, so yeah, they just seem to, oh, they wax it a little bit. Oh, wow. And I guess they, like, rub stuff on it. Should I go get a booty facial? Try it out. Do you want to come with me?

Sure. I don't want to get wax, though. I'll get a rub down. Do you, does your butt have hair on it? Is it a hairy butt? I don't think, I guess I don't know. I don't think so. I guess I don't really like, it probably has like peach fuzz.

Peach fuzz, yeah. Wait, you don't, you're not touching your butt all the time? I do touch my butt, yeah, when I like put lotion on, but not. You put lotion on your butt? If I'm putting lotion on my body, yeah. Do you skip your butt? Yeah, I've, never. I've never put lotion on my butt.

Where do you put lotion? I put lotion on my legs. Okay. Usually, I mean, I don't often put lotion on my legs. Yeah. Only in the summer, really, when they're like out. And I should be doing it more in the winter because they, like, I look like a real reptile right now. Mm-hmm.

But I usually stop at the thigh. Mm-hmm. And then my arms. Not even your torso? No. Oh. I have never put lotion on my torso. Never.

No, my torso is never ashy. I guess my torso's not ashy either, but it's just like to moisturize so that my skin stays like softer or longer. Does everyone do that? Everyone puts lotion on their torsos? Am I back? Ah! How are you reaching? What?

I just like, I reach my back. Whatever I can reach. I'm blown away. Me too. On your butt and your... Like, just, yeah, literally everywhere. Just anywhere, there's skin.

I put lotion on it. That's crazy. But I feel like, you know, because we put moisturizer on our face. Yes. I put moisturizer on my face

because I don't want wrinkles. Mm-hmm. So that's how I feel about my body, too. I don't want a wrinkly chest. I don't want a wrinkly

butt. I don't want a wrinkly thighs. I don't want wrinkly triceps. I put lotion everywhere. So it's all moisturized. You're going up under here?

Where there is skin, there is lotion everywhere. That's so great. Whoa. How long does it take you to get ready? Like, hardly any time. I'm not, like, massaging it in there for, like, a second.

It's just, like, you know, I'm just putting it on. I think I got to, like, get a routine or something. If you want. I'm always rushing, so, like, lotion is the thing that, like, I'm like, whatever. Yeah. Like, when I take off my pants, like, I'm going to look wild because I only have lotion on this little part of my ankle. Yeah.

That's funny. I mean, I do, I feel like too dry if I, if I take a shower and then don't put lotion on after. But I also wonder if that's because my skin's dependent on lotion now. Mm.

I mean, and I feel dry all the time. You just go with it? And I just live my life like that. You're like, yep, just dry. Yeah, because I'm strong. You don't have to live that way. I know. You could just moisturize.

It's, okay, I'm going to start. Give it a try, see if you like it. I'm going to start moisturizing. Yeah. Also, okay, if you have to be somewhere at 2 p.m., what time are you getting ready? Well, today. Okay, you have to be somewhere at 2 p.m.

It takes you 10 minutes to get there. What time are you getting ready? It takes me 10 minutes to get there. I would probably get ready. Well, I should get ready at 1.20. So you're going to leave at 120. You have to be there at 2 p.m. So it only takes you 30 minutes to get ready?

With all the lotioning? yeah yeah I can take a quick shower lotion do my makeup get in the car this is crazy I need like an hour like minimum to get ready yeah hmm do you never get lost in your thoughts in the shower not in the shower I get mostly lost in my closet because I'm like what do I wear but in the shower I can take a pretty quick, quick shower. I'm a long showerer because I really be thinking. Yeah.

What'd you be thinking about? Everything. Yeah. Sometimes I think about jokes. Sometimes I think about how I want to word something to somebody, which is useless. What do you mean? Whenever I rehearse what I'm going to say to somebody, they always say something I'm not expecting. And then I go, well, this conversation is now null and void because this isn't what I thought.

like didn't you get the script you don't say that maybe I should hand out scripts to people okay so this is what I say this is how I'd like this conversation to go I mean you could also just say what you have to say and then they respond however we have to like

have space in between what you want to say for their response I mean sure but like you've never rehearsed like a conversation definitely yeah And then what happens when you have the conversation

and it doesn't go the way you thought it was going to go? Do you get really thrown? I guess. Well, I guess if there's something intentionally I want to say to somebody, I just say the whole thing as opposed to thinking this is a... I mean, like, it will become a conversation because they're going to respond to it. But I just say all my thoughts. And then they respond and then we continue to have a conversation that I probably didn't rehearse because...

I think I got to start doing that, saying all the thoughts and then being like, your turn. Yeah. Wow. It's pretty good. Yeah. I'm learning. I'm learning and grooving. I saw in a friend's shower a little, they had like a shower notepad where you can write your thoughts down when you're in there.

I used to have one, but then I would return to the thought and be like, what? is gorillas shopping like it would just be random things that didn't make any sort of sense so I abandoned it I see maybe a little voice recorder

oh talk it out yeah that might be nice speaking of showers I had a huge crack in my shower years ago and I had to retile it I wish I knew

that you could save tiles I didn't know that a the time and the lady who was helping me the interior decorator didn't tell me yeah I was like oh I wish I could just reuse like these tiles and she was like yeah oh no yeah so where are they just took the tiles well I I don't know they might have just taken the tile or just like did a like a full demo where they like smash the tiles out yeah well because it does it take a lot longer to like individually take the tiles out yes it takes a lot lot longer But those, they were tiles from the 1930s.

Yeah. And then we've talked about this before because I'm on the bad side of Instagram where I see bad remodels. I was like, maybe people don't know that they can salvage tile. Or do you think everyone is just kind of boring and wants like boring basic shit? I think most people are boring. Ugh. They just want boring basic shit.

Ugh. It's really sad. It really is. Yeah. How do we get that? people to have fun again. I don't know. How do we get people to bring color back?

Mm-hmm. And charm. Yes. I love knick-knacks. Yeah. Yeah, me too. Oh, my God. Oh, my goodness.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I want lamps, but I want funky, like, funky, like 80s lamps. And when I was in New York, I was trying to source them, and I was having such a hard time. I need to, like, figure out where the good vintage and antiquing in New York is. Ooh, I would guess, like, upstate. Mm. You know?

Maybe there's this place in Terrytown called Swan House. Oh, they have some incredible things. Ooh. I think that's where I got my part of my giraffe family. Can you explain your giraffe family? You don't know them? I do. For the audience.

We're not just talking to each other. No, I won't. Just know I have a family of giraffes in my house. They adopted you. I have brass giraffes that aren't like full size. They're pretty small. But then I found like bigger ones, the mom and dad ones. I think those are from the swan house.

I love them so much. Sometimes I'll sing the Lion King to them. Which song? Lion King's good as hell It's so good I haven't watched it in years I should I was like I should give it another watch

You know what I also really love What? Lion King too That's funny because I remember It was straight to video Yes I remember seeing it and not Being like this is not up to par With Lion King standards But I think I should give it a rewatch

I think you should I think I should give it another chance The soundtrack slapsed Really? So good Oh interesting Should we have a Lion King party? Let's do it. Where we watch all the Lion Kings?

All? Well, there's Lion King one and two, and maybe there's more animated ones. I actually don't know. And then I haven't seen the CGI ones. I won't. I understand. I just can't do it. Yeah.

Why did we? Why? More many. A live action Lion King? I don't need to see a realistic lion talk. Yeah. That's just not real. It's strange.

It should be a cartoon. Yeah Lord I mean I only think some Disney movies could be Like I think Snow White Could be live action

That's all people Yeah They made many live action Snow whites They did? Yeah One came out What last year

Two years ago? It did? Yeah I'm not up on the Disney machine With Gal Gadot Gao Godo Yes I have an apple

For you I think that's The same line delivery She is it must be wild to be pretty because like I don't want to be rude you know it's not rude because not everyone is for everyone yeah and I'm sure she works really hard she does like character development and stuff but like her delivery is very stiff it's very stiff yeah I really liked her as Wonder Woman and I guess maybe that felt like more believable because she was like a like kind of were they like aliens or like I think she's an Amazonian person

but from like an Amazonian planet? Where's Wonder Woman from? Allie She's like definitely not of this world so it felt like oh okay you know otherworldly yeah so of course you don't know how to speak

because you're not from here so Wonder Woman is from the fictional island of Themisgira, which is a hidden place for Amazon Warriors located in the Aegean Sea. Where's the Aegean Sea? Where's that closest to? It's between Greece and Turkey. Yeah. Oh. The arm of the Mediterranean.

Okay. She's having a nice time. That's a beautiful location. I know. I would not save the world. Are you kidding? I'm going to hang out there. I live on the island. Yeah. That's crazy. Mm-hmm. And then I had to encounter men.

Ugh. Gross. Wait, Sashir, if you got a superpower, would you try to save people? Hmm. That's a really good question. Thank you. Huh. I think I would try to save some people.

I don't know. Wow. And what is the barometer to getting saved? I'm blown away. If I know you. If you're my family, if you've been nice to me. It's been nice to me. Yeah.

I don't have time to save everybody. Some of these superheroes, like, you know, make it their job. Yeah. Clock in, clock out, sunrise, sunset. Superman has two jobs. Oh, that is actually really crazy. He works at the daily fucking planet. Which, why?

And is Superman. Why is he working at the paper? Like Spider-Man, too. He'd be taking pictures for his day. Daily planet. That's true. Are they both? They can't both be daily planets.

Are they... Are they... Mm. Mm. I don't... Are all the newspapers, daily planets? Maybe. Daily planet, Superman, daily bugle is Spider-Wild.

Oh, bugle. Daily bugle. Oh, my God. But yeah, it's like... I mean, I guess Spider-Man makes sense because he's, like, still 18, and probably needs to make money somehow. But Superman, he has this whole... ice house or whatever his like

in the new one he's an ice yeah he doesn't I don't think he needs money I don't think do you I don't yeah it doesn't seem like he needs money also how do he get his social security number oh wait he was adopted right yeah but

what did they say this baby came in a rock can we get him registered to the world that is interesting yeah how do they explain that Yeah, and I feel like there'd be an investigation as to how he got there. Or did they like lie about it?

Maybe they lied and said we biologically had this kid. Oh, maybe. Or maybe they're like it was left on our doorstep, but I still think they would like figure out. Try to inquire. Really? Well, I don't think that you can, I don't think you just get to keep a kid. I think if a kid was brought to your doorstep, I think that you try to get that kid back

to where it came from, I think. I don't think. I don't know. I don't know. Can you Google if a, if a baby is left on your doorstep, do you get to keep it? Yeah, it's like finders keepers. I really don't think so. Hmm. I don't know either, actually. If you, uh, okay. No. No, you can't keep it. Yeah.

But like, but you can't give it back to the parent who left the kid because they clearly don't want it. I feel like our legal system is like, no, it's your kid. You, you take it or it like goes into like the system where those people are quote unquote vetted to take care of a kid, which is crazy. That is interesting. So the Kents are criminals. They kept a baby. They shouldn't have kept. That's true. I mean, honestly, they should have gave it to the government immediately. This is an alien. Iron Man has a date. job that's true he's like a tech billionaire yeah it's they all have jobs and they save the world honestly that's a commentary on the economy yeah that they have to have a job that they have to

keep a job for income while they're saving the world yeah all the x-men teachers oh yeah well they're teaching other ex-men they're teaching other mutants still teachers you're like my side hustle of saving the world. Wait, which other ones? Who else are they? Who else are they? Who else are they? Like other superheroes? Yeah. I'm trying to see if all of them have jobs.

Maybe, yeah. Do they all have jobs? Doctor Strange? He's a doctor. Right? He was a doctor. Yeah. And then he runs that. That school? That's like, I guess, is it a school? It's like a magic place. The Magic House in New York.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what it is. A magic house. The Magic House. Does Batman have a job? He's a billionaire. Bruce Wayne. Yeah, his job's Bruce Wayne.

Wayne Enterprises. Oh, but what do they do again? Everything? Yeah, I think they do like war, war stuff, war. Like they create like machinery? Yeah, like war machinery and weapons and stuff. Oh, no. Yeah, I think every single superhero has a day job.

That's crazy. That's crazy. I'm not saving the world. I have time. When do you sleep? That's also what I mean, like, some people. I don't have time to save everybody. Because I have to also go, like, make money, I guess.

But if I see something, I'll say something, you know? Yes. I'll do something. I don't think I'm saving people. What are you going to do with your superpower then? Have fun. It depends on what it is. Yeah?

Like, just do party tricks, like dinner parties. That's funny. Because if you save someone who, like, doesn't want to be saved, I think they can, like, sue you. Or if you, like, injure someone while you're saving them, they can sue you. Whoa. I'm not getting sued. Not because I have special abilities.

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Wow. Energy is low today. It's okay. We're doing our best. We really are. Oh, my good. What are you doing tonight? It's Friday night.

Oh, wow. Can you believe? You're out and about. I'd be out in these streets. You'd be out in these streets. I don't know when I became a people pleaser because like, yeah, I'm like my own person. But like last night I kept being like, do you want to leave? Do you want to go home? Because I was concerned that maybe you had been out for too long. And I don't know why that concerned me. Yeah, that was interesting. Because I couldn't tell if you were asking, because that's what you were. you wanted. No. Yeah. I was having a blast. But I didn't know if your blast was happening. Yeah. Well, I'm pretty honest. You know? Maybe instead of being like, do you want to go? I'll be like, are you having fun still? Okay.

Which also would maybe be like, do you think I'm not? Does it feel like I'm not having fun? I don't know. The older I get the more like in my head. I'm like, I want everyone to be enjoying their time. I need to make sure everyone's enjoying their time. But I think, I mean, I don't know about everybody because there's other people who are probably people pleasers too. But I'm definitely not going to stay out if I don't want to. I'm not like, Nicole needs me to stay out here. So I got to stay. No, I'll go home if I'm tired, you know. Fair. And this is like the third conversation I've had with somebody where they're like,

I'll let you know. Yeah. So I guess I just have to trust people that the let me know. Definitely. Oh, Lord. Should we answer queries and questions? Yeah, let's do that. Okay, amazing. I can't stop looking at my tiny little feet. They're so zippy. Okay, this is from Emma.

I'm a gay lady, she, her pronouns, and all of my best friends are white, cis, straight men. They're wonderful and as feminist, as white men from Massachusetts can be. That's funny. But sometimes it can be really frustrating to try to explain my experiences without fighting about their sweet, delicate white male egos.

Do you have any tips on having conversations with loved ones that are just kind of fucking inappropriately delicate? Hmm. I remember when I told my uncle, my aunt, my sister that like I was medicated, but I started taking ADHD medicine. And my uncle was like, why are you taking that?

You don't need it. And I was like, huh, yes, I do. And it was one of those things where I was like, just because you don't believe that you need to be medicated doesn't mean I don't need to be. I have found this to be immensely helpful in my experience. So anytime I talk to someone who who like has a very rigid way of thinking,

I'm just like, well, from me, in my experience. And sometimes I've explained things to like white people where I'm like, well, for me, as a black woman, I see it this way. And the reason why I see it that way is just because of my experience.

And your experience might be different because you're of the lighter persuasion. So I think when you have discussions where they're like a little delicate, I think it's just like really hammering down like in me. Yeah. I'm not saying you. I'm just saying,

for me. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's really smart. I think maybe it's okay to point out the differences of, like, you might not get it because you're not a gay lady. And that's okay. Yeah. You don't have to get it.

Yeah, I like that. I like saying you don't have to understand it. You have to understand it. You can just hear me. Totally. Listen, take it in. But you don't have to get it at all. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, just like, you know, empathize. Mm-hmm. Um, yeah, I also wonder what she's sharing. Me too. That's like, these men are like, I don't get it. She's like, my pussy's itchy. They're like, pee you, we don't get it. Pussy?

What's a pussy? Do you mean penis? Yeah, I got one of them. I got balls, too. Imagine having balls. I can't, actually. I would squish them all the time. Like sit on them?

I think I would play with them If I had an external toy You're gonna be like Nicole get your hands out of there and I'll be like It is also fascinating They're so fragile and they're just like out Yes It feels like they should be tucked in somewhere

Yes It's crazy But they're just yeah You hit them? They hurt And like I'm surprised no one invented I mean maybe they don't need it But just like Some sort of like

Wearable cups that's like for the everyday, not just for sports. Aren't they scared? I'd be constantly scared that something was going to hit my balls or my shaft. I would be like so... Or my shaft. The whole deal. I'd be so concerned because it's just like just under one piece of clothing.

Yeah. I guess two underwear. But like, yeah. That is pretty crazy. There's nothing on my body that like if you hit it, I'm like down for the count. punch my titty Yeah, I'll be okay Yeah

Honestly punch my Punch my cut Put my cut Put my cut I think I'm fine Yeah But yeah I'm sorry for these men

I think you're onto something Should I invent the wearable cut? And let's go on Shark Tank I'll just be there for support Yeah Hey sharks Are you ever walking around Being like

Oh no I hope nobody It's my balls not to worry I don't know get Mark Cuban on the case Yeah he'll be like I get it He's like I'm walking around all the time going

Oh no Solved Okay this is from Rebecca I have what I hope is a fun question for you all I'm planning a bachelor at party While I was listening to your podcast And I was curious what you would plan for one another's bachelor at parties Ooh

That was a fun question It's a fun question. I would probably rent a house. I mean, I've sent you things that I think could be your bachelor party or your birthday party. But like there's a house with a like a race car track in the front of it or a house with like a water park in it. Yeah, I would like that. Yeah, I think those would be fun. I mean, obviously hot dogs, there'll be a hot dog car.

or truck or stand, some sort of hot dogs. I would get you a stripper and I would get it the lady from a goofy movie. I would have her dress up like her. Oh my God. And as the boy. Yes. Because I think

I think you'd enjoy both. I would enjoy both. It'd be a burlese show where she starts off as Max and it comes off as Rex, Roxanne. I'd die. Maybe that's what it is. Yeah. But yeah, I would rent a house with like a chef.

Yeah. Because you like to be eaten. I'd be eaten. I love eating. You love eating good in the neighborhood. It's true. Mm. And then as far as activities, I think we'd go to a strip club.

Mm-hmm. Maybe if it's like a weekend. So we're in the house. Mm-hmm. I don't think you really need a theme house. I think just like Autonimal Colors Lots of browns

Just a cute Designed house Yeah Strip Club The like that Friday And then Hopefully there's like a vintage something Fair that we go to during the day

At night the stripper comes to the house Dressed as a goofy movie And then Sunday A brunch out Somewhere very cute That sounds great I love it Yeah

Yeah, I see other activities So yeah, we definitely either race at the house Or swim at the house And then maybe we can go to like A petting zoo or something Yeah, I think That's nice And maybe a drag show somewhere

That's fun And Or maybe a drag brunch Maybe we can do that Um ATVs maybe. Yes. Yeah.

That's a packed weekend. It really is. That was fun. That was fun. We should just do that. Anyway? Yeah. Yeah.

What are you doing for your 40th? I think I'm going to go to Japan, to Okinawa, Japan, where I was born. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Yeah. Mmm. Mm. Mmm. What are you doing for your first?

I don't know. Oh, yes I do. I'm having a party here and I'm having a funeral. Have I not told you? No, you haven't told me. I'm going to have a funeral. Okay. I'm going to lay in a casket.

Oh, my God. I'm going to invite a bunch of friends to come and talk nice things about me. Because I watched a video where this lady was like, we don't say kind things to the people when they're alive. Yeah. We say all these stories and a moat about them after they're gone. We should start telling people how we feel about. about them when they're alive. So I say, great, I'm going to rent a casket.

I'm going to get in it. And I'm going to make people talk nice about me. And then I think a dance party after? Definitely. I love it. Can you rent a casket? I don't know. I haven't gotten that far.

Okay. But I also decided at my funeral, my real one, when the casket is going down, you know, there's like pallbearers or whatever. I want them to play a Rihanna song and I want them to spin my casket around. Oh, that's fine. That's fun. I have to put it in the will.

Yeah. There's so much for you to do. My gosh. Do you think there's like dancing pallbearers you can hire? Allie, we looked at up. Yeah. That would be incredible. Just like these really strong men

who'll do whatever you want. Yeah. There should be a, if it doesn't. doesn't exist. We should be a business for that. We should go on Shark Tank. Yeah. Sharks. Have you ever been to a funeral and you're like, this is not fun? The whole episode of Shark Tank is just like us going in and out. Now, we have mustache now.

Okay. I'm not seeing dancing pallbearers for hire, but you can hire bottle servers to pop out of caskets at the club. you can hire a bottle service people to pop out of caskets at the club what is that service called that is so funny um penthouse day club uh there's an article about them really of doing themselves on one sunday that is that's great doing themselves that's very funny that's funny solved solved uh one more yeah okay love the podcast and love you both i have a question for you about wanting to stop location sharing. I have a long-time friend who I care about deeply, but for some unknown reason has been removing herself from my life and almost never

responds to me. She's shared her location with me for a couple of years and we live in different states now. Earlier this year, I asked her to go on a girl's trip with me and she said she couldn't swing it. Since then, when I checked find my friends, I've seen her travel to a few other countries and all over the U.S. It hurt my feelings that she can travel so frequently but not make time for me, so I removed her from my find my friend's list. She then texted me that Apple had a glitch and then it stopped our location sharing, so she added

it back. I let it go and didn't address it. After a couple months, I had a conversation with her about our relationship and why she's been distant. She said she loves me, misses me, and thinks about me all the time, but after a week of texting like normal again, she left me on red for over four months. I miss

my friend so much and it truly hurts my heart when I open find my friends to check another friend's location and I see her in Vegas or Colorado or Mexico. We used to be so close and I have no idea what's going on with her life or why she won't go somewhere

with me like we used to. Is it wrong to want to stop seeing her location permanently? If I remove her from find my friends again, what should I say to her if she believes it's a phone glitch again? Thank you. Hmm.

That is tough. That is tough. It's weird that this girl wants to still be connected that way. Yeah. But like won't. But won't just hang out with them. It's like, look.

where I am, but you'll never hear from me. Maybe it's like that really feels like actually ending something or like severing ties where it's like, I guess if you're growing distant, you know, that happens, relationships ebb and flow, but if you're like, and now we're not, no longer sharing locations, now you were no longer in my community that I, I guess, view that way or keep tabs on like that. That feels maybe, like, too extreme for the, for the friend, probably. But I also, but the person who wrote in, I get that. Like, I get not wanting to see your friend's activity and it probably hurts every time they see it.

so yeah i think for their own protection they probably should stop seeing it i think you just remove them and when they're like oh a glitch happened oh no i'm sorry it wasn't a glitch since we're not as close as we used to be i really just don't i don't want to see your location anymore i asked you to go on a trip you couldn't go but i see you traveling it really bums me out and i'm sorry if that hurts your feelings but i was just getting bummed that's good I like that That's really good Thank you

Yeah I think I think it's totally fine to be honest Especially because they've already had a conversation About their friendship So yeah just being like It does bum me out to see you doing all these trips And not doing any of the ones I invite you on Yeah

And then that friend can process it However they process it and either, you know, maybe they'll be like, oh, I guess it really does feel like we are drifting apart or maybe they'll try harder, but it's up to them to figure out. Yeah, for me, I think that friend is, yeah, that ship has sailed on that friendship, unfortunately, and yeah, leaving someone on red for four months is not kind. It's rude, especially after they, after you had a conversation about it and they're like, I'm going to do better and then they don't do better. when someone shows you their bad friend they're telling you the truth it's true because I I try really hard not to be a bad friend

or if someone has a critique for me I'm like okay yes I will try to amend the way I'm acting I'm not leaving someone on red for four months if that's my friend yeah dang yeah I think yeah unfind my friend them and when you do it text them Cyanar a bitch Yes

solved Well That's it We got to get out of here We got to get out of here And if you're listening and you're like Oh man I have a query on my heart You can email us at our email address

Which is Nicole and Sashir at gmail.com And if you Want to call or text us and demand that we actually make those cups, the wearable cups so you could protect your balls. Yeah, if you want that, let us know. Let us know. And our number is 323-23-23-8-6554.

Thank you, Allie. Hell, yeah, dude. I'll see you next time. I'll see you next time. Bye. Best Friends is a production. of HeadGum Studios. Our producer is Ali Khan.

Our executive producers, Anya Kahnofskaya. The show is edited, mixed, and engineered by Rochelle Chet. That was a Headgum podcast.