Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Nicole and The Slap Heard ‘Round The World (Re-Release)

Episode Date: October 23, 2024

Hello Hello Hello it’s nice to see you! Let's get to it - THE SLAP - that’s what we are talking about this week. Nicole and Sasheer discuss their favorite slap memes and tweets, all the responses, whether this will lead to more slaps, their hot takes, and more. How did Jada feel?  What if it WAS a bit?? Should Will have even won??? We wrap things up by getting listener feedback on plus-size skate equipment, sweet Korean hot dogs, the Daniels twins, and answer a listener question on what to do when your best friend/ex-boyfriend puts up harsh boundaries.  Email or call Nicole & Sasheer with your friendship questions at:[e-mail]424-645-7003 Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/friends.

Hello, is this here? Hello, hello, hello. It's nice to see you. It's nice to see you too. I saw you last night. You came to my house and that was so wonderful. I walked in the door and everyone shouted at me that Will Smith hit Chris. Everyone was like, Will Smith, but it was like four different people yelling it at me a different time. Everyone started a different time.

I was like, wait, what? And then very slowly, you were like, Will Smith. Very slowly, you were like, Will Smith. Hit Chris Rock. And then my life got better. I've never been happier. I've never laughed as hard. The memes were so good. Black Twitter said, we unite.

I'll give you everything we need. I haven't stopped laughing since. I mean, yeah, it's, um... It's been fodder for a lot of really funny tweets and memes. And immediately, like, show wasn't even over. Nope. The commercial break hadn't even ended. It was just like people immediately firing off amazing jokes.

It was, really brought us all together. My favorite one was a picture of Jada and above it, it just said, Tupac would have shot him. And I... Oh... Oh... ...have never laughed harder than me. Like, because it's so funny that that was the straw

that broke the camel's back, not her entanglement. And that's his red table top. I was seeing tweets that were like, so he's going to let people sleep with his wife, but if you make a joke about his wife, you get slapped. I mean, it is truly incredible. I, boy oh, boys Sashir, just literally, right before I went to sleep, I was like, hmm, hmm, hmm.

Yeah. And then, because I thought he punched him, but then I got to watch it and I was like, an open hand slap. I know, it's really disrespectful. So disrespectful. And then I really love Chris Rock being like, whoa, Will Smith is coming? Ha ha!

I think he thought, like everybody else, he thought it was a bit. He was like, oh, he was laughing the whole time. Like, oh, I can't wait to see what Will does. Oh, shit! Ha ha ha ha! It is, I don't, I've never laughed harder at, like, something so ridiculous. And then, I mean, I don't condone violence.

I don't think you should be hitting people when you're upset, especially on the biggest night of your career, where you were the front runner to win an Oscar for being the biggest movie star in the world. I don't think that's the smartest thing to do, but like, boy, oh, boy, was it fucking funny. And there's a lot of people, so, uh, I think it was Michael Lawrence, he posted, I cannot believe Will Smith was not thrown out after that.

This is 2022, not the Wild Wild West. And I died. I laughed so fucking hard. And then people were responding, because I reposted on Instagram, and then people were responding like it was real. Like, we really thought that it was so horrifically bad. Um, and... Like, they didn't get the Wild Wild West reference? They didn't get the joke at all.

Oh, my gosh. And it really made me laugh. I, like, people were just like, yeah, I agree. He should have been thrown out. And I was like, no, I mean, if you're going to throw out this criminal, you got to throw out all the other criminals retroactively. What are we doing? Damn, Hollywood's a bunch of criminals.

She fucking said it. You better get Harvey Weinstein. You better get Woody Allen. You better get all of the motherfuckers out here who be abusing. Will Smith just slapped a man. I couldn't think of any more abusers. Just just the two. Truly couldn't think of. Yeah, take away their fucking Oscars,

because the people were like, we want to take his Oscar. I'm like, oh, yeah, there's like a coalition to take Will Smith's Oscar. And I'm like, no, no, he needs one. He did the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. And I'm... Yeah, this is retroactive for the Fresh Prince performance.

It is! This is a this is retroactive for the Fresh Prince performance. It is because King Richard was a theater school performance. I'll go on the record and say it. I thought he was better in concussion. A movie he was a nominator for and his wife boycott of the Oscars because he wasn't nominated. Yeah. Lord Jesus. Also, our friend, Julia Rossii had a really funny concussion joke. She said, I hope Wilson...

She said, I hope Wilson didn't give Chris Rock a dot dot dot and then the concussion poster. And then you had a very funny bit where you put it on every social media platform that you had. I'm here for jokes. And then there's a ton of people who are like, this is going to embolden people to hit comics when they don't like Joe. I think that.

Do you? I think that if somebody got on stage and tried to hit a comic, I'd be like, I didn't insult your wife. He and I, Chris Rock, insult to his wife. That was cause and effect. If I'm talking about the Super Bowl and I'm like, yippity yap yap, dip deep. And then you come up and hit me. You're not married to the Super Bowl.

Even if you talk about someone's wife, no one should be hitting you. It's not like cause and effect. Like, you fucking deserve that. He did not deserve that. If I if you roast the shit out of somebody in the front row, they still should not get on stage and hit you. No, I know. I was just saying you can't use that as an example

to like Will Smith hit Chris Rock because he insulted his wife. Nobody's insulting your wife, so like you can't hit him. I'm just saying if you're gonna use that as... Oh, no. No. No. No. You, you, you.

You, you. I had to readjust my seat. You, no. No, I don't think everyone's gonna use that, the context as the example. They're just gonna see one of the biggest superstars in the world got upset about a joke that he didn't like and walked on stage on one of the biggest platforms

and slapped the shit out of one of the best comedians we have living today. And then was rewarded. And then was rewarded! And then he got a fucking Oscar and was allowed to party after that. No one sent him home. So if you're in Cleveland and you don't like the jokes

that someone's saying about your fucking t-shirt, you can walk on stage and slap the shit out of them. If I'm at Hilarities in Cleveland and they don't like my shirt, I'm walking on stage, opening my hand, fucking slapping it. And if I don't get a free daiquiri or french fries, what am I doing it for? If I can't get a take- home glass filled with daiquiri,

that's gonna be my Oscar that I won for slaving the shit out of you this year in hilarity and quaver. I mean. It's a bad example. People are already on their worst behavior. People are already bad pre-pandemic. You had people literally walking towards the stage towards you.

Oh, I had a man join me on stage. Yes! Because I said he didn't have a big dick. He said, nine inches. And I said, you are not a tripod, sir. If you want to scream at me how big your dick is, get on stage and show your dick. And then he charged the stage, so I made myself big like a bear.

So you're supposed to do when bears come at you. So I was like, ugh! But then he was so tiny, I was like, I could fucking rock him. But, um, you're right, I'm kidding. I do not think, I don't think it's okay what he did. Funny, yes. Appropriate, no. Influential, absolutely. appropriate, no influential, absolutely. But if someone-

History making, of course. Something to go in the history books for 2022. We keep living in unprecedented times. We are living in unprecedented times. Will Smith has flown off the handle. Never to be repeated. We're Georgia traded. Eaten up, spit back out. Revolutionary, visionary, creative.

And then his speech was so insane. He said he did it for love. He said God made him a vessel of love. Imagine he went to sleep the night before the Oscars. Say, Dear Jesus, I hope I win for King Richard. And Jesus goes, You better slap the shit. Anybody talks about Jada. And then he was like, Well, I'll let Regina King live.

But Chris Rock, I've had it. I know. I see that. Chris Rock was not the only one making a joke about their family or Jada. Regina, I mean, who's gonna, you're not gonna... You know you're not gonna come for Regina. She's amazing. But still, I also like, I mean, someone quoted

a Rebel Wilson joke that seemed even worse. Like, there's been multiple jokes at multiple award shows. Probably every award show he's been to this season. Because their shit is so public. They've been so public for the last couple of years. And it's like, well, yeah, of course people think they can make jokes about your family or you or your relationship. I mean, also my absolute favorite part was Will Smith going,

keep my wife's name out your fucking mouth. You better keep my wife's name out your fucking mouth. You better keep my wife's name out your fucking. I was like, I have never heard a man say that. I've said it. I've been like, keep your name. Keep my name out of your mouth. I mean, that's a very like lady thing to say. Like, you know, like gossiping. I was like, well, Smith, you've lost your fucking mind.

And guess what? He just starts like grabbing the air. He's my girl's name. I'm sure. I'm sure. Fuck your mouth. He starts. His face.

He takes his earrings. He's rubbing Vaseline on his knuckles. He slips off his shoes. He takes his nameplate earrings out. Honestly, this is why it's good. We just generated 12 minutes of content. Oh, my God. I mean, yeah, it made the Oscars so exciting. So exciting because both of us were like, fuck the Oscars.

We never want to watch it because Because John Milheiser was like, I can't come to dinner, I need to watch the Oscars. And we're like, loser. And then we were, all we talked about was the Oscars. Absolutely. 100%. And then Jayden, did you see what he tweeted? He was like, that's how we do.

I was like, what? Interesting. I love this family. They are our dynasty. I love them. They're our first family. The Smiths, I love this family. They are our dynasty. I love them. They're our first family. The Smiths! I love them. Yeah, they're like...

Oh, God. I think I would be really embarrassed. Really embarrassed of my dad, my husband. Anyone, like, I know, did that. I'd be like, oh. He had a moment of... elapsed in judgment. Oopsies. Not, yeah, that's how we do. Oh, he had a moment of a lapse in judgment.

Oopsies. Not. Yeah. That's how we do. Another good tweet was Will Smith just won an award for being the best actor, but can't act like a human when he hears a joke. And I was like, do do do do do. It really that made me laugh because I was just like, most actors aren't humans. They don't know what real people do. You brought this up too. Will came from comedy.

He's a comedian. Yes, he's an absolute comic. He, yeah, he knows what jokes are. And then we never flashed to Jada again. I was like, get a camera on her. Was she pleased? Was she happy? Did she enjoy the slap? Did she enjoy the slap? Did she enjoy the slap?

I did, I do want to know what her reaction was to that slap. She's like, mm-hmm, that's my man. And then everyone being like, Chris Rock can't make fun of Jada, she has alopecia. So when you write jokes for the Oscars or for an award show, they do not give you a rundown of everybody's things. Yeah. And then I know, I know, I know.

We shouldn't make fun of the way people look. That's not nice, it's not kind. But like also, she really could have just gone on Red Table Talk and been like, this hurts me, X, Y, and Z. And you know, and then make that public as well as her entanglement. Mm-hmm. With this August person who I don't know. Do you know this August person?

He's a singer? I didn't know when the entanglement news came out, and I never looked him up. Yeah. I just know that he's the man who made Will Smith cry in public. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think, I mean, yeah. Well, I think I mean, yeah.

Yeah. Well, I guess Jada is the one who made him cry because his wife, you know, the whole situation. But yeah, it wasn't just August. I made him cry. I think he was a little and I guess it felt like this was a release. Like this was a straw that broke the camel's back. Like it was not just the Chris Rock joke. It was the years of piling on people shitting on Will's manhood, like, the fact that his wife goes outside their marriage,

the fact that he's not Tupac, like, all this shit. And he's like, you know what? This is it. But I was like, really? This? This is the last straw? This was nothing. Oh, my God. I've truly never been more delighted. And then I just love the discourse. Like, I just love everyone talking about like some people have some hot takes. And I guess my the hottest take I have is like very funny.

Should it have happened? No. Yeah, I think that's my hottest take. Yeah. My hot take is I'm really scared that people are going to think they can do this to comics on stage. And also just like, we gotta stop this black on black crime. We do, we gotta stop it. You know, also the wildest part to me is there's I mean, I've only done one award show, but like, oh, no, I presented at the Emmys to the creative arts Emmys.

They wouldn't let me do primetime and the VMAs. Oh, yeah. And VMAs. Yeah, I've been to award shows. There are a ton of people in the wings. There are so many people in the wings and there's security, I believe, on the like there was too many people there that to let that happen on live television. Like, I guess you're just like a producer is like, don't don't stop it. But like if someone's coming on the stage who was just made fun of, that's when your producers come out and go, hey, well, you got to sit.

We're going to let Chris finish this and that. Like, there's there's a reason why they allowed that to happen. That's what, like, it was allowed. Well, it's also, it's hard to know because Will has never done anything like that, as far as that we've seen. And he does bits. It also knows Chris.

So, I would, and Chris was laughing. So, I would assume, like, oh, they're gonna do do a bit together. It's like a funny joke or something. Not. Oh, shit. He's going to slap the shit out of him. He's going to open palms, slap another grown man. Who could have predicted that? I'm sure they're like, this is fun. Oh, exciting. Nice little twist going on. They're gonna have like a little riff going on on stage.

No, violence. He chose violence. I also cannot believe nobody in that audience went, damn! Or was like, you can't do that! Like, there was no place. Well, they were laughing, I think, because they also thought it was a bit still.

And also, Chris Rock played it off so well. Yes. And so they were like still laughing, but I think people were confused and then like hoping it was a bit and then being like, oh, wait, I guess not. I wish Chris Rock burst into tears. That is, I wish I wish he had started immediately crying and going, we have missed thedemeanor. Just like sobbing.

I would have like how funny would that have been? But also, then we would have really felt bad for him and been really mad at Will and then. Oh, God. You know, amazing. How amazing would that be if he had 20 minutes later except the award and be like, sorry, I made that man cry. He should have said sorry. He should have said sorry. He should have said sorry, but he did say,

love makes you do crazy things. And I'm like, I defend my family. And I was like, this is psychotic. What really would have shown a great sign of strength is if you just pulled him aside backstage. If you can't wait till the end of the show, do it pulled him aside backstage. Mm-hmm. If you can't wait till the end of the show, do it during a commercial break. You know how to get back there.

Pull him aside. Mm-hmm. Man to man, you need to apologize to my wife, and he probably would have done it. He absolutely would. What if we find out 10 days from now that this was all a bit? That would be really nuts. And what would the end goal be? What would they possibly have to gain from that?

Either of them. I mean, I wish it would be nice if it was a bit, but what on earth could have been the best case scenario for that? I don't know. I was just saying, what if you got so mad? I did. Well, I think you got so mad? I did. Well, I think I got so mad because it's not, that's not crazy.

Like, like Will keeps doing these, he keeps trying to reach viral like status. Like he keeps doing these things for big publicity stunts, but like you're already at the Oscars. Like you're already there and you're already winning an Oscar. What goal do you have past this? That you need to use this as a launching pad for something else. Who else was nominated in his category? I honestly don't even know.

I just knew he was campaigning really hard. I saw King Richard, and I can't believe he won. I... And that's not just... I love Venus and Serena. I think their story is really incredible. I just the movie is really curious for me. Wait, Kimmy, can you look up who else was nominated? Was it was Javier Bardem nominated? Oh, for that Lucy thing.

Denzel Washington for The Tragedy of Macbeth, Benedict Cumberbatch for The Power of the Dog. And Andrew Garfield for Tick Tick Boom. Oh, hmm. Yeah, I guess I would have given it to Will. But I really did like Tick Tick Boom. Hmm. I don't know. Hmm. I just can't believe like whoever knew the results wasn't like,

we got to switch this. We can't give this to him. Well, that's the thing that no one's supposed to know the results wasn't like, we gotta switch this, we can't give this to him. Well, that's the thing, that no one's supposed to know the results locked up by the accountants. Which is wild. Why do the accountants know? I don't... I don't even think they know. They just carry the lock box in. What? Then who knows? I don't know. Does he count me now?

Also, don't accountants count, they count the ballots? Yes. See, why accountants? Why not just a ballot counter? Does it have to be like a numbers guy? It's like, how hard? How hard? One, two, okay, one, two. Okay, one. Like, how hard is this? It could be a bingo organizer. Truly. I could do it. I can count good.

Mm-hmm. Boy, oh, boy. I can't. No, but you would count it correctly, and then you would place the wrong envelope somewhere. You're absolutely right. I would figure out a way to fuck it up. No, but you would you would count it correctly and then you would place the wrong envelope somewhere. You're absolutely right. I would figure out a way to fuck it up. Oh, God, I still I can't believe the magic we were allowed to witness. Boy, oh boy, boy. What a treat.

Yeah. Golly. But you know, we needed something to talk about. We really did. That wasn't like super stressful. Yeah, we talked, you know, we've been talking about the pandemic for two years. Yeah, war. War's happening.

You know, we needed something light, like a slap. Emily Heller had a great tweet. Emily Heller said, we would know how to deal with this if NBC didn't cancel the slap. I butchered her tweet. It was just really funny to me, because I watched the slap. It was like a television series event, and all it was was somebody slapping their friend's kid.

And the aftermath of that, I mean, it was was somebody slapping their friend's kid and the aftermath of that. I mean, that's pretty wild. I mean, if someone slapped my kid, I'd be like, well, that's not kind. Please don't. Oh, my God. Someone needs to jump on the mini series of the post Will Smith slap. We need to see the ripple effect. We need to see Chris and his family.

We need to see the ripple effect. We need to see Chris and his family. We need to see the Smith family. We need to see everybody who's produced the Oscars. We need to see what happened after the slap. I honestly would love to see what happened. I also cannot believe that they were like, well, we gotta keep the show going. Everyone go home. Everyone has to go home.

Yeah, we're done. We'll mail you your award. I cannot believe 20 minutes later he won. It's so funny. It's incredible. But also, like, of course he like... I just... Of course he won.

And he probably knew he's going to win. And still. I mean, some of the discourse was just like, he was being bullied on a night that should have been special. He knew he was gonna win and he was disrespected for the last and final time, so he was protecting a Black woman. And I was like, no, I think we just watched a man

lose his mind a little. I think a lot of... Actually, who knows? Well, I hope Oprah gets watched a man lose his mind a little. I think a lot of actually who knows? Well, I hope Oprah gets to the bottom of this. I hope Oprah. Oprah has will on a Super Soul Sunday where we have a special at ABC and we get to the bottom of the slap. Oh, you know that we're going to first hear an exclusive on the Red Table top. Jada already pulled that table out. She does it off. She's polished it.

She's getting ready. She probably have Chris on. She probably will have Chris on. And then she'll make Will sit across from Chris and start crying again. I mean, how funny. How I just how wild. How wild. Oh, boy. What would you do if you got slapped after saying a joke on stage? What would you do?

Oh, boy, I would be stunned. I don't I don't know. I guess I would try to play it off. But then also maybe I would cry. I think I would burst into tears and be like, I didn't deserve that! Then like, just start hitting. Just like, throwing fists. Chris played it off the best he could.

Because there's no good way to respond to that. You can't like also get upset. You can't also hit back. You can't just leave the stage, because that's a huge thing. He just made a joke, kept introducing the next thing, which was also really shitty, because it was a moment of Black excellence. It was a moment of celebrating Blackness. And it was like, now we have to watch Questlove try to...

...salvage this. Now we have to like watch Questlove try to salvage this. But I got this is going to go down as like one of the greatest moments in like a word show history behind I'll Let You Finish, Taylor, Adele Dazeem. I'm trying to think of another one. But those are like my these are my top three. Moonlight, all land. Oh, oh, my God. Oh, I can't believe I forgot about that. That was so beautiful to watch.

La La Land, they all get up and then they go, Oh, no. So sorry, we got to tell you something. We got to tell you something. We gotta tell you something. Ah! God, what a dream. I love award shows. I mean, yeah, I guess now we do. Yeah, we got it. We have to watch.

What's the next one? Oh, no. And now I'm scared that people are gonna keep trying to top that. Like, is there gonna be to be someone to be like, all right, I got to do the next big stunt and the four shows. Maybe. Oh, yeah. Little mama got on stage, I think, at the VMAs during Empire State of Mind. Do you remember that? I do remember that. I'm like, damn.

Yeah, her career is never the same after that. No, it wasn't. And she went on a Charlamagne show and cried. Yeah. What was that? Then Steve Harvey did something. Was that Miss USA or something? He announced the wrong Miss USA. Oh. The worst has been good for a minute.

They're messy. And why? Why are they so messy? They've been happening for decades. It's like, you should have it down. It should be a well-oiled machine by now. It really should be, but it truly is not. Mm-mm. Dang, I just...

I feel so privileged. I like Lupita's face during it, where she's just like, ah, ah! Like, it was kind of a smile. Like, wait, what? That's crazy. Jule Kim Booster tweeted. I love how I have like all these features in my head.

I'm like a fucking tweet encyclopedia right now. Jule Kim Booster was like, she deserves as best supporting Oscar for the work she did at the Oscars. And I was like, she really did. She really, she was the eyes for us all. You know, we were living through her because I had the same, she really did. She really, she was the eyes for us all. You know, we were living through her because I had the same, the same face. I just...

Slap! Keep my wife's fucking name out of your fucking mouth. And Chris is like, I will. I will, man. Don't hit me again! Yeah, just please don't hit me. Oh, my God. Ooh, boy. Yeah.

What a dream. What a living dream. So pleased. And just so everyone knows, we're rushing this episode out to be topical. This was supposed to be an Evergreen episode. We have to talk about this. I had to talk about it. I just.

I, I haven't been as happy in years. The way I feel and have felt for the last couple hours, ever since I saw it, you remember in Hawaii when I said I was the happiest I've ever been on this boat. I'm like pretty close to that. I'm like elated. It's so funny to me. I can't stop laughing. Slap!

I mean, Chris Rock probably has written so much material already. Oh, I know. Is SNL on right now? I was like, can he go next week? Can he just bump whoever is hosting and just please do a monologue about this? I mean, probably. That's bump whoever is hosting, just please do a monologue about this. I mean, probably. That's like free material. Yeah. What a gift.

Oh my God. His latest or most current picture on Instagram is he's promoting a tour. Oh, he's definitely talking about this. It's 80,000 comments of people just talking about the about the Oscars on that one picture. Oh, wow. I mean, also great for ticket sales, because I got to see what Chris is going to say.

I have to see this, because he had been I think he was prepping his hour because I did a show at the Comedy Store and he dropped in. And yeah, I think he's like prepping his hour and I think he's gonna have to do a little bit more prep work or he'll figure it out on the road. Absolutely. Whoo, boy. Boy, oh, boy. I mean, I would buy a ticket.

I would love to hear jokes about it. I would love to relive this any way I can. (*LAUGHTER*) What if all this was just to promote the tour? That's what I mean. What if we find out in ten days? The tour should be called the Slapper Around the World. Like, that should be the tour. Ooh, that's good, Jordan.

Wait, what was his... He has a special called Black and Blue? Bigger and Slapper. Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe Hehehehehehehehehehehe Hehehehehehehehehe Hehehehehehehehehe Hehehehehehehe Hehehehehe Hehehehehe He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He He Boy, oh, boy. I'm so pleased with how yesterday went. My man did tweet something that was like Will Smith bring the pain. Chris Fox bring the pain. That's funny. There was one where it was like hitch, but they switched it to bitch. Bitch. And then the little subtext under was like,

keep my wife safe out of your fucking mouth. Iconic behavior from Will Smith, you guys. I will never, I hope I get to work or meet with him because I'll be like, you gonna slap me too? Like I would just, I just wouldn't, I would bring it up all the time. I wish we were friends. I wish I could text him right now.

You slapping? What's lapping? There's a video of him dancing at his after party. And there was the comments were like, everyone is six feet away from him because they don't want to be in arms reach. Oh, my God! I saw the video.

Nobody was around him. He was very solo. He's very in the middle of a big circle. What a dream. What a dream to be a pariah and also an Oscar winner. Just people being so scared of you. I mean, the Oscar parties this year were probably so much fun because you get to be like,

oh, I had a front row seat to that. Someone's like, I was in the back. I didn't quite see what happened. Tell me in detail. I mean, oh boy, oh boy. What a gift to everybody. Yes. So that's what I mean. Will Smith gave us a gift and there's going to be

so many people at Hilarities in Columbus, Ohio. (*BOTH LAUGHING*) Trying to get their daiquiri glass to take home. (*BOTH LAUGHING*) Imagine. Imagine. I just, I cannot fathom just a person at a show being like, I hate that joke. I'm gonna slap. I honestly can't imagine that. People are even more on their worst behavior.

Post-pandemic, we're not post-pandemic, we're still in the midst of the pandemic, but you know, now that we're back in front of people again, people are loud and like vocal, social graces have gone out the window. I really wouldn't put it past someone in the audience to walk on stage and try to fight. But it happens, it already happens.

I know, and I just told a story about how it happened to me. And, yeah, yeah, I just, I mean, wow. It just sucks. It does. It just sucks. I told, I texted, I was like, I felt so many emotions in the last 24 hours, like laughter, joy, jubilation, but also despair, disappointment, anger, confusion. And I have only felt one emotion, pure joy.

Blissful about this. Oh my God. I just... And there's been no statement from Jada. Not at all, but she saved it for the table. Yeah, she's dragging that table out. She's having it refinished. She's inviting her mom, Willow, come on over.

Maybe they're making the table longer. Maybe that's what it is. they're making the table longer. Maybe that's what it is. They're extending the table. They're putting a new leaf in that table. Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Pull up, we got extra seats.

Ha ha ha! Oh, God. Should we, like, help people? I don't know. I could literally talk about this for the rest of my life. I know. We do have to, yeah, we should move on from this. But how could... Jordan, Kimmy, what are your thoughts? What are your thoughts, Jordan, Kimmy?

How do you guys feel? Wrong? Happy? Sad? Should we take away his Oscar? How you guys feeling? I mean, I said earlier, I love award shows. I told Sasheer I was trying to get it on right when it happened, because then Twitter just exploded with 10 million. What happens? And I was yelling at my husband like something happened. Turn it on. And it was every day. It was exactly what it was.

I'm like Sasheer, I'm worried people will start slapping more. But also like this has been a real good good time and have I read like seven articles about what happened last night even though I've watched it? Yes, yes, I have. Yeah, yeah. Jordan? I watched it in live time. And I honestly thought that it was a skit.

Which makes sense of how the audience reacted. Because if you don't know what's going to happen at the Oscars, I guess, you don't know who's in on what. And so from like the outside, like, oh, this is a funny skit. But then I realized that something was really wrong when all of a sudden it just got muted. And then the scenes were like, the scenes were jumping back and forth.

And then I just remember watching Will Smith, like in silence, just hugely mouthing, keep my wife, like the whole, I don't need to say it again. We all know the phrase. Keep my wife's fucking name out of your fucking mouth. Yeah. Real emphasis on fucking too. Uh-huh.

Yes, 100%. You could hear how loud he was saying it, even in the silence. Yup. And it wasn't until I growled my brother, and I was like, I think I just watched Oscar history? I don't think this is a skit. And he let me know that other people in other countries were like,

oh, there's no censor to this. So like, I could actually watch the video of like the full time of like what was actually happening. And I was like, oh, this is not a, this is real. This is not a skit. And I was like, oh, this is not a, this is real. This is not a skit. Although, if this was planned, Chris would be the perfect person

to help facilitate it because he's a comedian and he's going on tour. And if it was a thing where it's like, hey, man, I'm gonna help you out. People keep shitting on you and your relationship. Use me. Use me as an example. Snag the shit out of me on stage. No one's gonna mess with you.

And then, and then maybe the jokes will stop. And then, I don't know, when would they, when would they let up? When would they let us know it was a joke? In a year? Is it a slow burn? I mean, I would enjoy a year-long delight in this before it was taken away from me. I also really just love when Chris Rock was like,

it's a G.I. Jane joke, man. I mean, and I was like, yeah, man. It was, of the jokes Chris could make, that was real light. That was a real light joke. Mm hmm. God. Yeah. What a dream.

What a fucking dream. All right. I guess we should help people. All right. Yeah. Let's see what else is going on in the world. I hope Will Smith. I really hope Will Smith has written an email being like, I slapped a friend last night. And I'm not sure how our friendship will survive. We've been friends for maybe 40 years, but last night, I don't know.

I just something came over me and I slapped the shit out of my friend on national television. But then I won an Oscar. What would you guys do? Love the pod. What would you guys do? Well, well, I guess I would just chill with the Oscar and apologize to that friend. Would you be more shocked or concerned

if it was like a punch instead of a slap? I, yes, a punch is like, oof. That could really hurt. Yeah, break a nose, break a jaw. An open hand palm slap is wild. I guess it's just like a warning, like, hey man. But a punch is like, I'm trying to fuck you up. Also, people were saying, like, um, I had a friend who got hit

and hit, they fell back, hit their head and they died. Like, people were like, this could have been dangerous. Like, he could have knocked Chris over. He could have fallen off the seat. A number of things could have happened and it could have been much worse than it actually was. He ain't Chris Rock for no reason. He's solid as a rock, baby. could have fallen off the stage. A number of things could have happened. And it could have been much worse than it actually was. Chris Rock for no reason. He's solid as a rock, baby.

Can't knock him over. Yeah, really, we should feel bad for his hand. Uh huh. Well, I was also like, he really wound up and hit him. And you like saw his head move, but like didn't't fall, like, he didn't really move, move. So I was like, did it actually hurt? I need to know if it hurt. I think it was just like, I just want to shock you. I don't think he actually wanted to hurt Chris, because he could. He still has his ollie hands.

He could have punched the shit out of him. I mean, wow. What a, what a, What a thing to do. You got a suit made. Your wife's in couture. She got a nice fade going on. Everybody else dressed up. Everyone took pictures.

You're like, I'm going to fucking hit somebody. That's crazy. In the middle of the show. And then they're supposed to keep going as if that didn't happen. I think Quinta Brunson, she tweeted, she was like, In the middle of the show. In the middle of the show. We're supposed to keep going as if that didn't happen? Oh, my God. I think Quinta Brunson, she tweeted, she was like, it was a very West Philadelphia Oscars. And that made me laugh.

And she's like, I have an elementary. A few episodes tomorrow. That made me laugh. God. Piggyback. Everybody was crushing it. Do you want to hear the joke I heard? Mm-hmm.

Yes. It was, what did Chris wake up to on his face this morning? What? Fresh Prince. Damn. It's like kind of good, but also bad at the same time. No, that's pretty good. It's the... I have a feeling these memes are gonna be great for a minute.

It's the... I have a feeling these memes are gonna be great for a minute. Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. I just... What a dream. Anyone not talking about it? What's wrong with you?

Get in, get in. People have already made music from the... I will, I'll share it with you guys. Please. But it's truly, they took what Will was screaming. They already auto-mixed it. Oh, it's great. Yeah, they took what Will was screaming. They already auto-mixed it.

Oh, it's great. Yeah, oh man. What a dream. The internet moves fast. It moves so quickly and I'm grateful. Very grateful for everything I've got to see in the last, less than 24 hours. last less than 24 hours.

OK, let's let's let's hear from other people. All right. What if everyone just wrote, what do you think about? I love it. I love it. Honestly, someone who's a devoted listener of this show, just send a reminder six months from now to write a letter to ask us about the Oscars to see if I'm still delighted about it. I bet I will be. Hello to all you fabulous ladies who make me smile every week. My name is Katie She Her, and I was inspired by you guys

to get my very own pair of skates to start my own skate gang with my friends. We could be the NorCal branch of your gang if you were so inclined. I spent birthday money on some holographic Impala skates that I think Nicole would wholeheartedly approve of, even though the laces are glittery blue and not purple, as she would probably prefer.

And I just got my safety gear order in the mail this week. Problem is I'm a plus size babe and my pads are super tight. What is a big fatty baddy to do? I want to set a good example for my stepdaughter who I got skates and gear for Christmas and always wear protective equipment, not to mention spare these 30s knees that have already had lots of wear and tear from dancing and martial arts over the years. But I want my gear to be comfortable, too. Nicole, can you share what brand of brand your safety gear is

to help your girl out? Love you both to the moon and back. Yeah, it's one oh seven something. Oh, God. Um, hold on. I'm going to Google it. Oh, God. Hold on, I'm going to Google it. 107. 106 in parts. Killer pads. Yeah, 106 in part. No, it's 187 killer pads. And I believe they have plus size.

Pads, mine were made for me, so sorry about that. But I do believe they have a plus size pads. Mine were made for me, so sorry about that. But I do believe they have a plus size. Oh, they do custom pads. Oh, nice. Yeah. So I think, uh, reach out to them. Um, and then there is... I think it's like Moxie. I think they also have a plus size one.

Um, I think they did a collab with a plus size skater whose name escapes me. Um... Ooh, the thick set. Yeah, there you go. That's her. What's her name? It doesn't have her name anywhere on it, does it? Maybe. She's a tattooed, really stunning babe.

Courtney Shove? Yes. I follow her oned, really stunning babe. Courtney Shove? Yes. I follow her on Instagram and she's great. Yay. Real babe. I'm glad we found her name. What's it? Courtney Shove. Yeah, Courtney Shove. I love Courtney Shove. Nice.

But yeah, that's my answer. Solved. Solved. Now here's one specifically for Sashir. Whoa. Wow. Hi, Sashir. Whoa. Wow. Hi, Sashir. I heard you talk about getting a Korean style hot dog, which you can have dip into sugar. It's common in Korea because we love savory and salty and sweet flavors in one food.

There's also something called a strawberry sandwich, which is a sandwich of strawberries and cream. My Canadian boyfriend thinks this is strange because a sandwich should be savory, but what is a sandwich but the things that you like tugged between two pieces of bread, right? To Loo. Oh, that's nice.

That is nice. Can you look up what the strawberry cream sandwich looks like? Yeah, I thought she was gonna say it was like with meat or something. Mm-hmm. But if it's just like strawberries, it's like basically a strawberry shortcake. Yeah, who fucking cares? Mm-hmm.

HEATHER LAUGHS Whoa. Oh, that looks tasty. And is it like on a piece of white bread? I think so. I think it's cream, bread, and strawberry. Interesting. I'm here for it. I want to taste it. I'll give it a try.

And I guess I'll give it... I'll give that sugar dog a try too. You don't have to if you don't want to. Okay, I don't actually want to. Come on, let's drive back up to the very far place we went to. There might be a closer location. Nope, let's get in the car. Let's go.

Yeah, we'll see. Maybe I'll be surprised. Maybe I'll like it. Maybe. Should we do another? Yeah, let's do another. Okay. Hi, Nicole. And this year, uh, I just wanted to say that I'm pretty sure with the Daniels

twins, that one of them got cancer it might have been Cynthia and that she's having difficulty conceiving and that the other one served as a surrogate for her or gave her some reproductive materials to help her have a baby. I really should have googled this before I called but I guess I was too before. Um, I hope that I'm not totally mistaken this for someone else. Okay. Love the show. Bye. Okay. Oh, Brittany feels real. She had a baby using her twin sister, Cynthia's donor egg. You love to see it. You love to see it.

That's sweet. That's sweet. That's nice. Oh, I love that see it. That's sweet. That's sweet. That's nice. Oh, I love that for them. So she's not like... She's not acting, but she is having babies. Or which one was the... Which one had the baby? I believe Brittany is the one who still acts.

And she donated her egg. I think. Great. I think. Great. Great. Great. Got it. Nice.

Good. Should we do one more? Uno Moth? Hi, it's this year. Nicole. Y'all are beautiful. I want to get right into it. I was had an ex.

Let's call him Bud. We were together on and off for about six years. I lived with his mom for some of the time. I was with my mom for a few years. I was with my mom for a few years. I was with my mom for a few years. I was with my mom for a few years. I was with my mom for a few years.

I was with my mom for a few years. I was with my mom for a few years. I was with my mom for a few years. I was with my mom for a few years. I was with my mom for a few years. I was with my mom for a few years. I was to get right into it. I once had an ex, let's call him bud. We were together on and off for about six years. I lived with his mom for some of the time. His family felt like my family. We loved each other a whole, whole lot, like twin shadow situation. We eventually broke up because we weren't romantically aligning anymore but our friendship was hugely important to us so romantic love evolved into deep friendship. I moved away but we remained really close and when we both started dating other

people our partners like knew this for this family and he was very integral in my life. One of my partners even met Bud's family as if they were my extended family. Bud started dating somebody, I love calling him Bud, it's so weird. Bud started dating someone who has massive trust issues from I guess her past but she definitely had an issue with our friendship. She was super not okay with Bud meeting my partner and I remember that her insecurities were they eventually led to getting our visit cut short. And I hadn't seen Bud in two years, during lockdown.

Um, it was really hard. Yada, yada, yada though. They got much closer. And last year he called to say that the only point of friction in his and her relationship was his and my friendship and therefore he needed to close the door to our friendship. It felt like half of my world went dark. I swear he was the one constant thing in my life that made me feel like I was home no

matter where I was in the world. I mean it was a deep friendship that felt horrible. And I later found out they got engaged soon after he called me. Okay, so the question I have, this is the crux of it, thank you for bearing with me. The, okay, a week ago, almost exactly a year after he called to end our friendship,

he called again to tell me that his dad passed away. And I loved his dad. This was someone who would still call me on my birthday even after we were not dating anymore. He just was an incredible person. And I unfortunately had to pull away from maintaining a distant relationship with the dad and the mom out of respect for Bud's boundaries.

I reached out days after hearing the news to ask what his thoughts were about me coming to the funeral. Again, I wanted to- So it gets cut off. For any listeners, we have three minutes. It's like three minutes tops, you're allowed to leave a voicemail. So this one went a little longer. She leaves a following voicemail that basically just says she wanted to go to the funeral,

but Bud said it would be best if she didn't. And she just she's respecting that. But she just kind of feels like she's like losing her mind because she doesn't know if she's being unreasonable and how she feels. Is she being reasonable? And this whole thing is kind of painful and she doesn't know what to do. So I think she wants some encouragement slash insight if we have it.

Oh, man. Yeah, that's some heavy shit. I, um... Do you have any thoughts initially, Sashir? I don't know. I mean, it's just sad. It's just really sad. Yeah. And...

I feel like it would be nice if she could go to the funeral. I'm really glad Bud called her and told her that it happened, because obviously he still knows that she would want to know that that's important to her. I missed why he wanted to close the friendship. What was it? He said that his partner... Yes, okay. Didn't feel comfortable.

Didn't feel comfortable, but that was the last piece. The only thing that's in the way of a great relationship is his friendship with our caller. And so, he had to end the friendship. And then and then I guess right after they got engaged, because they were like, OK, I did it. We are really just perfect now. There's no other issues other than that friend, which is like not true. But.

I think she could take solace in knowing that that woman is not a strong woman and doesn't trust Bud all the way, because that's the only reason I can think of for having a man end a friendship with a woman. So I think you could take solace in that, in that it is her and not him, or at least I don't think it's him. I don't think you're being unreasonable about wanting to go to the funeral.

No. I think it's a little unreasonable to not allow you to go to the funeral. I think that's, like, really cruel and unfair. So I think you should show up to the funeral. And when Bud is speaking during the eulogy, you should go up to him and slap him and then sit back down and say, you better keep my fucking name in your mouth when you talk about your dad or your family.

I'm sorry, I couldn't help it. It's my favorite story of 2020. My favorite movie was The Batman. My favorite incident is the slap. Um... But genuinely, I do think it is okay. I think it's okay to... If the funeral hasn't happened yet,

I think it's okay to call and be like, can I please come to either the wake or a part of the funeral so I can pay my respects? It is for me. It's not so I can see your family. It is so I can feel better and I can have closure with this death because it is not just your death. When someone dies, I understand how it feels personal.

Like, when my dad died, a lot of things felt very much like, it's me who's suffering. But then I'd be like, oh, my sister exists, his siblings exist, his parents exist. So it's like, we all have to figure out how we get to grieve together because he's not just for me. Right. I also think if the funeral has happened,

you are within your, like, rights or whatever to ask where his gravestone is, or ask where his ashes have been spread so you can leave flowers, say what you want, and grieve the way you want to grieve, because it's not fair. Yeah, that's good. And yeah, I think making it like,

you know, this is for me. It would... Yeah, it would make me feel like connected to this person again, that I did love for years. And hopefully your friend would understand. But I think maybe it sounded like a fear-based reply, like, Oh, I don't want my, my wife to see you, but it's just like, I would hope it's a funeral. It's not a party. It's not your birthday party. But even still, yeah, I don't like the,

I don't like anyone saying... You can't be friends with someone. I think that's fucking toxic. Yeah. And like, that, I mean, it just sucks that this person would be so insecure about their relationship that. They're cutting, they're making them cut people out of their life. And people that they clearly love, like that have been in their life for years. Yeah, I don't know.

But then you can't. Yeah, that's up to that's their relationship. That's the tip, but and his wife. There's nothing you can do to yeah, that's up to, that's their relationship. That's up to Bud and his wife. There's nothing you can do to change that. They made their decision. But yeah. And I also think it might be good for you to mourn your relationship with Bud because that has come to a close and you owe it to yourself to grieve that. Um, one of the great things my therapist said was like, all relationships are helpful, all of them teach you and you are allowed to grieve that. One of the great things my therapist said was like, all relationships are helpful.

All of them teach you and you are allowed to grieve them no matter how long or short they are. And it does suck that this person's not going to be in your life long term, but you can like celebrate the times that you did have together. But like it is a part of your heart. I think you need to protect and not think too much about it. Yeah. Also, we don't actually know what conversations Bud had with his wife. We don't know what the wife saw that made her think that,

oh, this is actually not a relationship I want him to keep. Because maybe Bud is like actually feeling still. Like, you guys dated and you guys became friends. But it's, I don't know a percentage. I don't know if there's been studies on this, but like I don't know how many friendships post-relationship are actually pure friendships. I think it's possible for sure,

but it's also possible one person feels more like a friend than the other person. So who knows? And this is just like me spitballing a different option out of here. I don't know, I don't actually think this is what's happening, but it could be maybe the wife was like, oh shit, my man actually feels a different way than I see him feeling for other friends,

for this particular friend. I need to nip this in the bud. Or maybe he said something. Maybe for other friends, for this particular friend. I mean, it's in the bud. Or maybe he said something. Maybe he's like, I don't know. I like keeping her around because I love her. But like, and maybe he didn't even realize, oh no, it's maybe actually a different kind of love

that I need to only have for my wife. I... yeah. And I think either option really sucks. And I think, I don't know, I never want to be in a relationship where I can't trust my man. Like, if my man is in love with somebody else, as much as it hurts me, and as much as I might protest, and as much as I might scream, go to that person.

Mm-hmm. Do you know what I mean? Don't string me along. That's why, like, I don't think I'll ever be like, you can't be friends with someone, so... Although, when I do start dating someone, they're not allowed to be friends with women ever. Ha, ha, can't look at a woman, can't think about women. Just can't look at no women.

If you ever say a woman's attractive, I will what? Slappy with my open hand and scream, keep your eyes off that fucking woman! -♪ WHOOPING AND LAUGHING CONTINUES, CONTINUES... -♪ Ah... Because, yeah, if someone's gonna cheat, they're gonna cheat. Oh. Oh. No, no, keep going. I didn't mean to cut you off.

Okay. I was gonna say, if someone's gonna cheat, they're gonna cheat. You being paranoid and protecting them and giving them rules isn't gonna stop that. Mm-mm. So, you may as well just, like, let them live, and if it happens, then you have your answer. And you can make decisions from there.

But keeping a tight grip is not going to prevent anything. No. Not at all. They gonna go where they wanna go. Mm-hmm. They wanna fuck a man with a month for a name, they gonna do it. August. Oh, wow. Damn.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. It's deeply rooted in my brain. Never left. I cannot talk about anything else! Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Um, well, if you would like advice,

we're solely on the slap. If you want to hear me give you advice, I will slap in Chris Rock. You guys, I can't believe it happened. Two living legends, one, one will enter and one will slap. Okay, so you can email Nicole and Sasheer at gmail.com or you can call us or text us 424-645-7003. We also have merch at podswag.com slash best friends.

We also have what? A live show this Sunday, April 3rd, at 8.30 p.m. Go to Largo-LA.com for more details. And don't you dare get on the stage and try to slap us. Don't you dare. Don't you, if you fucking do it, I will lose my mind. But, Sashir, I may ask you to reenact the slap with me. And I might ask you to learn the lines word for word.

I really wanna play Will Smith, but I'm happy to play Chris Rock if you would like. And I might ask you to learn the script, like the lines word for word. Um, I really want to play Will Smith, but I'm happy to play Chris Rock. If you would like, I'm not really picky on the role. Happy just to just to be cast. I want to be Lupita. Just a gas like. Lastly, don't forget to rate, review and subscribe. That's the easiest way to support this show. Yes, and the easiest way to support Will Smith is by letting him keep his Oscar

and getting him a tremendous amount of therapy. That's it. There's roving reporters from the 49th annual Oscars. I have no idea what year this is. Of the Oscars. I don't know if it's the 49th or the 50th. I think it's like the 76th. I don't know.

I'm signing off from live coverage of the 62nd Annual Oscars. It's Tashir Zubayda and Nicole Beier. Good night, ABC. I love you. I think it was on ABC. I love you. It's Tashir Zubeda and Nicole Byer. Good night, ABC. I love you. I think it was on ABC. It was. Okay. Good night.

Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night.

Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night.

Good night. Good night. Good night.