Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Nicole Announces Burrata’s Back

Episode Date: June 10, 2026

It’s summer, which means all of the summer seasonal ingredients are finally available for our best friends to enjoy! Nicole and Sasheer chat about goofy restaurant experiences, Sasheer’s quest to have someone impersonate her, and both Nicole and Sasheer’s hilarious stories about playing on celebrity game shows. Also discussed are the films Looper and Burlesque - this episode’s conversational range has no bounds!Watch this full video on YouTube and follow below!Follow Nicole: Twitter, Instagram, TikTokFollow Sasheer: Instagram, TikTokLike the show? Rate Best Friends 5 stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts!Have a friendship question for Nicole and Sasheer to solve? Leave us a voicemail at [phone]‬ or write in at [e-mail] Friends is a production of Headgum Studios. Our producer is Allie Kahan. Our executive producer is Anya Kanevskaya. The show is edited, mixed, and engineered by Richelle Chen.This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Best Friends via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. This is a headgum podcast. Hello, Nicole. I took a drink. Hello, Cushir. Hello, Nicole. How are you? I'm good. How are you?

You know, funky, fresh and free. Funky? Yeah, I'm feeling funky. She's feeling funky. Let's get funky. I went to All Time the other day and Barada's back. Thank God. I, okay, so if you don't know,

there's this restaurant on the east side and Los Felas, and they have the most delicious barata toast. Yeah. It's just a piece of toast with barata, tomatoes, maybe some balsamic on it? I don't know, but, oh, it's heavenly. Yeah. Yeah.

And at one point, on their signage, it said, Barada's back. Really? Uh-huh. I didn't even know they put their... on the sign. Mm-hmm. If I've only seen the name of the place.

No. Sometimes they let you know that Barada's back. And that's nice of them. I know. Yeah. Because I had called them to be like, is Barada back? And they were like, not yet. They're like, there's a demand.

There's one person who keeps calling. We'll just put it on the sign. So when she drives by, she'll know. And guess what? I knew. Thank God. Mm-hmm. It was nice.

Nice. Oh, this year I was so happy. Yeah. Yeah. Thank goodness. And it's so wild to me when a restaurant's like, well, it's not in season. And I'm like, go to the grocery store. I guess they want to use, like, fresh ingredients?

Go to Albertsons. Mm-hmm. But, like, if it's not in season, then it's, like, not, like, the freshest quality of that food. Mm. Mm. So. So you probably could still get the food, but if they're a restaurant that cares about the quality of the freshness. What are you getting paid by big restaurant?

By seasonal fruit? All restaurants are paying me to say that. It is wild that there is seasonal vegetables and fruit, but you could go to the grocery store at any time and get them. Well, isn't that because they just, like, freeze them forever? I think so? Like, companies will harvest it and then they'll just, like, keep it frozen somewhere and then, like, bring it out to stores consistently. Is that it?

That's wild that we started doing that instead of just all supermarkets should be farmers' markets. Yeah. That'll be nice. How do we do that? Oh, I don't know if that's going to happen. Probably not. But who do I talk to about that? Maybe if Costco starts doing that, everyone will be.

will, like, follow the suit. Maybe. They're the best one. Of the ones, they're the best. Costco's the best. Costco's going to have condominium soon. I did see that, yes, they're building on top of their stores, which is really smart.

Yeah, you already have that land. Mm-hmm. Just build on top of it. Build up. Mm-hmm. Who knows what the sky rights are? The sky rights? Yeah, have you ever seen the movie burlesque?

I don't think I have. With chair? Mm-mm. Stanley Tuge. Mm-mm. Christina Aguilera? Mm-mm. And I think her acting debut?

Mm-mm. Well, they talk about sky rights at some point. Hmm. Like the right right to build in the sky? I don't know. I think so. Sky rights. I'm not going to get it more for me just repeating it.

Let's see. If I say it. Sky rights. A different way. Sashir will get it. Sky rights? Mm. No, I understand.

It's air right. Oh, air rights. Yeah. And what is it? Where Tess, played by Cher, avoids foreclosure on her club by selling the rights to build in the airspace above her building to a developer. So it ensures that the club remains a low-rise venue protecting the view of a neighboring luxury condo. I see.

Okay. I can't believe you haven't seen burlesque. Yeah. It's really fun. Yeah? Yeah. And Cher goes, Wagon Will Watosi.

Well, that's fun for sure. And I think that's a dance, I think. I'll watch it. I think we'd, I think you'd have a nice time. All right, cool. I wonder why that hasn't been adapted into, like, a Broadway show. Didn't they try? I feel like they tried.

But I don't know how far it got. I don't know. Allie, you're dressed like me today. Green stripes. Look at that. Wow. Why didn't anyone tell me? Well.

The memo is always out, then I will be in a strife. That's true. Yes, burlesque was adapted into a stage musical, burlesque, colon, the musical. And it was produced by Christina Aguilera. Oh. And it opened at the West End in summer 2025. Oh. Oh, so it might be coming here.

My goodness. Coming across the pond. Probably. That's usually how it happened. Oh, my. Oh. I can't wait. I'll be first in line.

Did it say what are the reviews? People liking it? Mixed reviews. Uh-oh. Mixed. Okay. Okay. All right.

But that's probably for any new musical. Yeah, they gotta work out the kinks. That's why they do like test runs and stuff. I don't know that West End gets everything first. I want to see stuff here. I want to go all the way over there. Well, sometimes things get tested out at the La Jolla playhouse. Oh.

Mm-hmm. I want to see some tested out stuff. And that's in La Jolla, California. La Jolla? Yeah. I don't know how far away La Jolla play. is from here. Not either.

Allie. This whole episode is saying a couple of lines and then going, Allie? It's about a two-hour drive. Ooh. I'll wait until it gets to me. Yeah. My friend sent me a picture of Michelle Obama and was like,

she's biting off your style. And I looked at it and I was like, she is. What? She was in a striped shirt and her hair was in pigtails. I gotta see this picture. I couldn't believe it. I said the former first lady biting off of your style. Looked at a picture of me and said,

that's what I want to look like. Maybe she's like, you know what? I'm not a public servant anymore. I just want to have fun. And you know who has fun? Nicole Byer. This is actually crazy. She has like curled braids like you do.

I think Michelle Obama wants to be me. Michelle Obama, get your own life. Kind of. Get out of my closet, Michelle Obama. And she has a podcast. Wow. Wow. Wow.

Wow. Wow. Wow. This, and she's, like, you're currently wearing green stripes, and these are green stripes in this shirt. Yes. I mean, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's you. You outfit. Isn't that crazy?

That's really. funny. The lashes, the hair, the stripes. Maybe she told her people, I want to look fun and people started searching on the internet. For fun blacks. And I was like Fun black podcaster and you popped up. Oh, maybe. My friend sent that and I was like, that is actually wild. It's actually pretty funny. Can you believe? I can't. I

there was a dinner with our friends that was arranged. I don't know if it actually happened or not when I was not in town. Do you guys go to dinner? No. Oh, no. Dang. It was a whole thing. Oh, sorry.

One person double-booked. The other person had something come up. But I went. Oh, good. Because I had to get barata toast. I'm glad you got the barata toast. Thank you. But you asked if you could bring the nice man in your life.

And I was like, only if they dress like me. And I really wanted to know what that would have looked like. He wore overalls. He was in blackface. He shaved his head. He didn't wear glasses. And everyone at the restaurant was a little, like, on edge. Like, people kept looking at us.

And when he ordered his, like, his food, he was like, oh. I'm on a tea. What kind of teas do you have? And it was really interesting. Like, the server didn't really know what was going on. And I was like, guys, it's performance art, it's okay. It's like how Whoopi Goldberg was okay with Ted Danson's black face.

And is smiling in all those pictures, knowing that is not right. That was also a fascinating moment because you were doing an impression of him. Do you get an impression of me? Well, I was like, make sure you lean back when you order your food. and you're slightly suspicious. Sounds like he nailed it. He really did. He really did.

We were asked to leave. And I said, not until I get my barata toast. Here, take it. Get out of here. You're upsetting everyone. I did tell him that that's what you said, and he laughed very hard. Oh, good.

Also, Tessa was like, he should feel honored because he's not going to get to go to all the dinners as, as, you know, a significant other. And then... Didn't even happen. It didn't even happen.

These people cancel. Well, welcome to the club. This is what happens in the group sometimes. Sometimes plans get made and they don't happen. Yes. And since I was the leader of the plan, I should have checked in prior to, because I just made the reservation

and then didn't invite anyone to the reservation and then didn't check in until day of. And I was like, well, these people, I should have known. It's hard. These people. These people. These people. Yeah.

It can be hard. hard. We should do a dinner where we are all doing impressions of somebody else. I would love that. Dress like the other person and do a full... That would be really... But also, I do feel like by the end of the dinner, people's feelings would be hurt. People would get upset. Like, yes. That's what you think of me? Uh-huh. I know I'll be the most upset immediately. Because I'll be like, well, that was dead on and I didn't like it.

Whenever people do impressions of me, I'm like, this is really mean. Yeah. A friend of mine during a show did an impression of me. Came out in pigtails in a striped shirt and pleasers and was really doing a lot. And I was like, I think I got to talk about this with therapy. Oh, no. I was like, is this how people see me? Oh, no.

I don't know if, I mean, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a person. I'm a person. I'm a human. So people should be able to do an impression of me. Are you having an identity crisis? What's happening? I'm a person. Will you hitting yourself to make sure you were real?

I was going to say, I don't think people can do an impression of me, but I was going to be like, but anyone can be impersonated. Why not me? But I remember when I was on SNL, Jay Farrow was determined to figure out an impression of me, and he couldn't.

He would, like, try little things, and he was like, it's not sticking. Like, it wasn't. And he did an impression of everyone. Every, like, everyone on TV and everyone in the room. And he was like, I just can't really figure out how to get you. And I was like, why? I'm a person.

I'm a human. Why? I'm a person. I'm a human. Well, I mean, I can do an impression of you just not seated. Oh. To me, the physicality of Sashir is full embodiment. Oh.

Because you have long arms and long legs. But it's like I could do impressions of you in situations. Okay. My favorite to do is airport Sashir because you're a different person at the airport. You're getting to the bottom of business. You're going to figure out why there's a line and why you're at the back of it. You're going to figure out why we're not boarding.

You're going to figure out where the gate is. And your little shoulders move and you got your little suitcase. It never leaves like right here. But if it does, it goes right here. So yeah, I could do airports this year. Okay, that's fun. And then I can do, I guess the seated one I would do

would be you at a restaurant when you've been offended once. because it lingers. You're not very forgiving at a restaurant. Because I don't like when people play with my food. I came to this restaurant, hungry. And then you did something that impeded my satiation? My satiation!

No, I'm at. I'll never forget. A server brought a drink and you said, well, what is it? And they were like a tuti-frutti, and you said, well, I didn't order that. And I was like, I was like, why did you ask? If you knew you didn't order it, why did you ask her what it was? Yeah. We all could have just, oh, no, not for it.

What is it? Well, I didn't order that. And then she walked away and you were like, and I was like, oh, my God. Because, well, also, service already sucked at that place. Like, that was, we were, that was like one of men. many offenses where I was like, I'm over it. I don't care to be nice. Just who cares?

Yeah, and I watched you several times not care to be nice. Yeah. I've also watched you. You almost like slid out of your chair because we were like all joking around with the server. You said your order first, went around the table. And then he looked at you and said, and what do you want? And you like slid down and we're like, salmon! Because I felt crazy.

I was like, wait. The bit started with me. We've closed the loop. Yeah, we did. We closed the loop. If you're a looper, the loop was closed. It's a good movie. It was a good movie.

I do have a huge problem with Joseph Gordon-Levett's face, though. Whoa! Sashir, shots fired. Joseph Gordon-Levitt, if you heard that and you have a rebuttal, let her know what's wrong with your face. But it's not his face. That's the end. issue because they put weird

prosthetics on his face to kind make him look like a younger Bruce Willis and it just looks bad. It's just weird. I'm like, why did they do that? Just have him look like himself. He could have aged differently. I don't know. People change

when they age. It looked terrible. That's so funny. I simply did not have that reaction. Did you, but you could tell. I did clock that there was a difference in his face. and I think he was wearing contacts or something. Probably.

Something. That's really funny. I have a problem with his face. Not his actual face. No, I know. What they did to his face. I just was like, why did they make this choice for most of the, for the whole movie? Yeah.

If it was like a bit part where he was only in there for like a little bit, sure. But it's like the whole movie he has to look like that. What a choice. Just cast someone who looks like Bruce Willis. Oh, my God. Wow. She's mad. And I didn't even realize it until this moment.

And sometimes that's what you need. You just like, you need to figure out what's getting you ticked. Yeah. Ticked? And that got me ticked for sure. It really did. Yeah. You were so mad you could ride an alligator.

I was going to ride an alligator right out of here. My, it's not even an issue with the movie. It's just really interesting that Emily. Blunt's character, that's her name, right? Is in like a cornfield in a house and then in Live, I repeat she and Tom Cruise are like in a house

in a cornfield. I was like, this is so interesting. Wasn't she also in a house? Wait, I don't know if it's a cornfield, but she's hopefully in a house. What movies is here? Only you know right now. I laugh because she's probably been in a lot of movies but she's been in the house.

It's in her writer. I've got to be in a house. In a quiet place. I don't know. It feels like maybe the house was in a field. Maybe. I haven't seen a quiet place because I was like, well, I don't like that premise. We have to be quiet.

Yeah, you wouldn't like it. And then there's kids. Yeah. And then I think they have another kid. Yeah. And I was like, well, why would you? you do that? That was a big question I had where it's like, it's already hard enough to keep these living ones alive. And I mean, I guess I don't know how easy contraception is

going to be in that situation. At the end of the world? Easy. Go to a CVS. It's deserted. But like some of them are probably expired. Try something. Double stack them. You, what? Pull out. You shooting up the club? And to make a noisy thing? Babies cry so much. Did you cry so much?

Yeah. How do you keep them quiet all the time? You can't. Smothering them the whole time. It's not it. That's not it. And then I saw a clip of the movie where their kid was like behind them. So far behind him that the man had to

run to get to him. And he couldn't get to him. I never was allowed to be that far away from my parents. I walked in front of them. Mm-hmm. What? And he had a toy? Yeah, that was really dumb. When did he get that toy? I think it was on one of their... This is so funny to have a dialogue about a movie I have never seen. And I have hard opinions about it. Well, they did go to the store, not to get condoms, but to get food and other things. And I guess he picked up a toy that made noise and he hit it while they were walking. And he got God. Wow.

We should go to a break. Think about this. We've all had those nights. The ones where you laugh until the sun comes up where conversations go places they've never gone before and you walk away feeling closer to the people around you than you have in years. That's Silo Sibin. It doesn't just open doors in your mind.

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And it was an ambulance. An ambulance? An ambulance. An ambulance. Uh-oh. That's one of those words you say enough and becomes nonsense. There are so many vowels in there that can go many ways. Ambulance.

Mm-hmm. What did I say? I said ambulance. Yeah, yeah. You really stretched the A. Tough. Tough. But honestly, yeah.

I would, honestly, tomorrow, if we became quiet place land, fuck them kids. I'm getting rid of them. I'm leaving them somewhere. But maybe that's a good thing that I'm not a mom. That's a definite good thing that you're not a mom, yeah. on a mom, yeah. Would you keep your kids if a quiet place happened? If I had kids already and a quiet place happened

I would try to keep my kids as long as possible. That's crazy. I mean, hopefully they're old enough where they can shut their mouths and know how to be quiet, but they're young young. That's hard. Fuck them kids. Fuck them. Oh my God. I watched

a really fun movie. I don't know the name of it. What happened in it? It's the same man who directed Face Off. Okay. And I believe it's set in Hong Kong. And the man from Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon is in it. Chow Young Fat, I believe.

And so there's this like arms dealer and they're trying to like overthrow him. There's like an undercover cop. And there was somebody who was like deep undercover. but then the arms dealer was hiding the guns in a hospital. And then his people were just shooting the patients at the hospital. And then one of the cops is like, we have to save the babies. So there's a whole, like, runner of them saving babies

and, like, throwing babies off the window. And it's great. It made me laugh so hard. That's crazy. It was so fun. And then there, do you know the name of the movie, Alley? Better Tomorrow? No. No. Hard boiled?

Hard boiled. Yes. Or hard boil? Is it boiled? Hard boiled. It's fun. Okay. And Chow Young Fat has a scene where there's explosions behind him.

To me, I was like, well, this movie's so old. This is practical. And he's like holding this baby as explosions are happening behind him. And it's fabulous. Whoa. I had such a nice time watching it. I fucking love action movies. I actually want, so much to make a documentary about the babies who have been in movies

and they're all grown up and like, see how they're doing. Like the baby and you, the baby was watching murder. Yeah, you're right. I think that baby also was in a burning house scene. Yep. Mm-hmm. Yeah, just check in. Hey, how are you?

Hey, how are you? What's your first memory? What's your first? memory. I mean, it is interesting to have a baby and then be like, I think you should be in movies.

Will you put it in a movie? That's what those parents are doing. Yeah. Or like, my kid is so funny. Go to this audition and say those words. Yeah. Huh. Because a baby can't say,

Gougu Gaga, let me in movie. Let me in movie. Well, obviously it's a baby. I can't speak good. Isn't all the words yet? Yeah, they definitely can't choose to do that. It wasn't their dream to do that. No.

They didn't even know the possibility. No, and there's so many babies in this movie. So, yeah. There's a whole nursery of babies that they have to hold and save and throw out the window. Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's wild. Mm-hmm. I have done shows where babies got replaced because they were.

quiet enough. Really? Yeah, they would have been dropped during a quiet place. But they were like, just like in a scene where like someone had to hold a baby and they were like too fidgety and too loud and then someone

was probably just like, okay, we have to get new babies. And then like, new babies had to like be on calls. I don't know where they were, but like, I guess maybe if you work with babies, you have to be like, okay, if this baby doesn't work out, we might call you. So they had to call another family and be like, please bring your baby.

And then they brought the baby. Or maybe there's a baby wrangler where there's, they just have a bunch of babies. In a cage. They just have a bunch of babies and they let out. I would be so devastated if someone was like, hey, so your baby is bad. Your baby is so loud and just like overall bad. No one's having a good time with your baby. you have to take your baby home. Your whole family has to leave the set now. You go home with this loud-ass baby. You're like, maybe it's loud.

You ruined our chances. Do you think that baby still gets a day rate? Probably. They still came to set and tried to work, but they just couldn't. What a funny industry to be in. I'm the baby caster. Yeah. Which has to just be based on.

aesthetics. Absolutely. Not talent. No, that Gerber baby probably has no talent, but it's cute. It's cute. You know? The salt baby? Yes. Cute. Yep. I don't even know if that baby likes salt. Not her requirement. Nope. We don't know if the Gerber

baby likes Gerber. Yeah. They probably didn't even have Gerber. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. No, that baby probably eats fresh food because it gets paid. I have money. I have money. I don't that fucking slop you other babies eat. We keep buying it.

Cha-ching. To-ching. I'm going all the way to the baby bank. Okay. I also did a show where there was supposed to be a dog in a coffee shop for some reason. Just to have aesthetically. Really the dog wasn't part of a bit or anything. It was a big dog too.

Yes, it was. And it just kept getting up. walking through the shot. And we came to and I did it over and over again. And I was like, why do we even have this dog? But someone really had a vision. This was a cool coffee shop that allowed dogs. And it just kept being like, I don't want to be here anymore.

Doop, doop, doop, just trot along. That's so funny. It is really funny when, because that was in front of an audience. And it's like, why have so many moving parts when you're in front of an audience? Yeah, true. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. I once did, I think I've told this story before, but I once did a multi-cam in front of an audience and said my lines, got my laughs. Second time, did them a different way, got my laughs. And then the director was like, hey, stop changing stuff. It's time to the laughs. So if you add more laughs, don't do that. And I was like, okay. He's like, we all want to go home.

I said, okay. And got it. We want it too funny. No. Just moderately funny enough, okay? Don't do too. Don't. Don't be funny. Don't show off.

I was like, alright. Yeah. I also, before I had seen a live taping of a show, I assumed that it was like canned laughter for a long time. So it was nice to know that they do use

real people. They do use real people, and they beat them into submission. Because if you don't know this, there's a warm-up comic who comes out before any scenes happen. And they're like, okay, you're going to laugh, right? You're going to laugh when the jokes happen.

We're going to practice a joke. Here's a joke. You didn't laugh hard enough. Okay. And when a sad moment happens, what are you going to do? You're going to go, oh. Oh. So sometimes when you do perform in front of the audience,

they're a little over because they're like, I'm lucky to be here and I was told I have to laugh, I have to do things. It's my job to laugh. This show will fail if I don't laugh. And when we did Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, they were told to react less. I know. And we were being so funny.

And we're like, guys, hello. And the crowd was just like, they're going to kick me out if I yell or make a move. And I remember right before I got the answer wrong that sent us home. So when in the crowd just went And I went But then when I locked it in he just went And I was like

Did I ever tell you this? I don't think you did They were like shaking their head at you? Just a soft And I was like Oh And then Jimmy Kim was like I'm sorry

And I was like are you kidding? He was like no That was really sad It was really sad We were doing so well So well we were having a great time And he was like Damn you gotta go

That's that. I'll never forget that. I hope we get to do it again. I really hope so. It was, give us another chance. Yeah, give us another chance who wants to be a millionaire and we'll use a life one. I was so confidently wrong.

Yeah. It's okay. Who's the voice of Arby's? And I said Dennis Hayesbury. He's the voice of Allstate. It's Vin Rames. Vin Rames. Never forget.

Yeah, I will never forget. That's my 9-11. I probably talked about this on the show. Or maybe I haven't, I don't know. But my Wheel Fortune. I don't know. Maybe you have. I don't know.

I did a Will Fortun. It was a holiday episode. And it airs every holiday. And it airs every holiday. And every holiday, people were like, to share, what happened? Or I'll get text with people like, oh, I just watched this episode with my parents.

And they're like, what happened? What went wrong? Because I did not bring my best. I didn't bring half my best. It was, I just blanked out. I was doing pretty good. And there was one game that I just, like, didn't hear the rules fully. Uh-huh.

And so you're supposed to, like, it's supposed to be, like, two things smashed together. Like, I always forget the example, but like, like, George Foreman in a factory. Yes, something like that. George Washington State. Yes. I guess.

Usually a celebrity name combined with something else. It's like a portmanteau sentence. Mm-hmm. And the, the, the, the, the, The puzzle, I solved the whole thing, most of it, and it was like, Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer, and then there were four letters above Rudolph, and I was like, what could those four letters be? Like, I did, I'm done.

I did the thing. What else could it be? The Rudolph the Redneux of the Redneux of the Redneux, and I couldn't get it. And then it moved on, and it was Jack Black, and he was like, it's a personal friend of mine. She's a really great gal, like, super funny. It's Maya Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. And I was like, that's what we were supposed to be doing?

No idea that was the goal of this game. I even know this. I was, what? And I was so embarrassed. And I'm sure people watching at home were like, Maya, Maya. It's also funny because famously, you are the next black woman. I, of all people, they are. They were like, this will be so easy for her.

Of all people, she should get it. Which is funny because you've told me this story a bunch, or we've talked about it, but it really did not occur to me, like, how much you should have gotten it. God, that's so funny. I was like, huh? What? What? God, that's so funny.

Embarrassing. I also did Wheel of Fortune, and I did. I had a lot going on. I had faux dreadlocks that I had done in my own hair. I had broken my ankle. I had a scooter. I was wearing crocs.

And I made it to the final wheel? Spin. Final spin? Big spin? What is the last level called? Last go around the world? Last go around the world. Final

wheel? The end of the wheel? I don't, the end. Whatever. I didn't get it. Oh, damn. Sorry. It was pretty upsetting. When I did a family feud the first time,

I got to do fast money. I think that's the end. I don't know the end of anything. And Steve was like, when I say cheese, you say, and I went big. Because I was like, big cheese. cheese in charge. They were looking for cheddar, Parmesan. Just any cheese?

That's so funny. Big. And I was so thankful that I got the rest of them and we ended up winning because I was like, ooh, that would have been tough. If we lost because I went, big. Can we watch it? Yes, please.

Because I can't remember if Steve Harvey gave me a look. He loves giving looks. He probably did. He's so funny to me. He's very funny. Yeah, maybe Nicole Byer family feud. Yep, that would be it. Yes.

Maybe. Perhaps. Whoa. Tubey's got remastered fugitive footage. I see the fugitive footage. And look how happy I look. I go second. Okay.

Funny gals won the game. You're so lucky. Pumping your arms in the air. All right, Nicole. Are you so excited. I really am. She did decent. She got 137, you need 63.

Oh, okay. That's easy. Easy breezy. All right. Let's remind everybody of Andrea's answers. 25 seconds. On the clock, please. Here we go.

On a scale of one to two. 10. How boring is a day at work for you. What? Fill in the blank. Blank cheese. Big. Name a word that rhymes with you wringling. Tingle.

Try again. Single. Name something that has curves. A woman. Try again. Oh, no. A road, road. What do you think of when you hit the water?

They are. They're so close to your face. Smoking. In your eyeball. Doobie. Doob. Do you believe we won? I can't.

Did you get any points? Oh, no. Come on, let's go, Nicole. Oh, I failed. Let's see, we need 63 points. On the scale of one, the team, I don't know if we're going to get that. You said, one, survey said, five.

Five was the number one answer. We're still 52 points out. Fill in the blank. Blank cheese. You said 15 Yeah Okay

All right Let's see who thought that was up there Yeah Okay He's never looked more dead in the eyes We're still 52 points right Okay Maybe word that rive with mingle

You said Single Survey said Oh There is That's what got you the points Single was the number one answer Blank cheese Swiss

Swiss cheese was the number one answer We're five points in your face That is something that has courage You said The road Survey said Oh come out There we go

So my juby juby-doo did not matter What was that last question again? I don't... What? It was... Something about we? Yes. And me a Doobie does...

I think I was trying to say the Doobie Brothers. Oh. And then I said, dooby, dooby-duby-doo-doo-dib. And then just like time ran out. Oh, my goodness. Probably the worst fast money or whatever this is called. But somehow you want? We should take a break.

Let's take a break. Support for this podcast is brought to you by Chamberlain University. Let's talk about that thing you keep saying you'll do, the new career, the next step, the dream you keep putting off because life is busy and change feels hard. But what if it didn't have to be? Chamberlain University has been preparing healthcare professionals for over 135 years. As the nation's largest nursing school, Chamberlain offers flexible programs built around your life, faculty who genuinely care and a community ready to lift you up.

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You know, like, Big Cheese? Okay. He's like, I don't even want to unpack that. No. Well, it's like, Snoop Dog, there's a clip of him where it's like, a pie in the, and he goes, horse. It's like, no, Snoop. No, not at all.

He's had to have been high. Yes. I went to, I was telling you this yesterday, I went to an award show, and now a defunct award show, where he was in the audience, and they just let him, I guess you just, if you invite Snoop, he's gonna smoke blunts. This man smoked so many blunts and I was so high by the end of it.

And they only served vegan slash vegetarian little passables and I was so hungry. I was like, I just, I need food, I need real food. I'm very high. No, that's not great. I don't know how people get so high and then live a life. I don't either. I guess practice.

He smokes so much that you can function? Yeah, I guess. But I wonder if he's smoking like... The best weed ever. Yeah, or like shitty weed. So you can smoke one after blunt. He's probably not smoking shitty weed. No.

Probably is like quality weed. But then it's like, damn, man. You don't have to live like that. You don't have to live like that. It must be hard on your body. Maybe. but he creates jobs. I think he's got a professional blunt roller.

Okay, that's one person. He creates job. He created all that job. I used to smoke so much weed and it's tough. It's tough. The other night I was smoking weed. Oh, she's bad. And I lit up a joint.

Oh, my goodness. A doo-bee. a little do, a little do, do, do, do, but do, and three puffs in, I was like, this is mild, this is good. A couple more puffs, and then I was like, oh, this was not mild, and I've made a grave error. And then it took me a while to, like, get off the couch. I was like, all I have to do is stand up,

walk up the stairs, and then get in bed. And basically in pajamas, I don't have to change my clothes. I think the whole ordeal it took me like an hour Clyde was staring at me being like Are you okay? Come on Bitch, why are you moving and slow?

It was like I was in water It was so hard But then I slept so hard and nice Oh good Mm-hmm That's good Yeah The first time I ever smoked

I was in college And my cousins got me high And but I was like Out of my mind high and I remember going to bed, praying to God to make this go away. I was like, please, I'm going to do it again. I just want to stop feeling this way. I hate it.

I hate it. I can't. I can't. And it wouldn't go away. I was like out of here. Like, it's like, I can't. I was spinning and I feel like too slow. I'm not sure if I'm speaking or not.

I was like, I hate this. I was at my answer. house and it was like early. It was probably 8 p.m. And I was like, I'm going to go to bed and they're like, okay. I'm trying to lay down. I was like, come on. Get out of here. Get up. Trying to squeeze the high out. That's, stop.

Get out. Get out. That's really funny. I once, this wasn't that long ago, but it was like still daytime. I was like, I'm going to smoke some weed. And then I was like, oh, no. Now I'm just. high in this daytime. Yeah, just wait till I'm not high anymore. Then I can go on and finish living my life. Yeah. The first time I got high,

I think it was in high school. No, it was middle school. And it was like really shitty weed where we had like seeds in it. But I remember the first time I was like, whoa, I think I'm enjoying this. We smoked it out of like a little honey bear bong that my friend had made.

And we like, went to a park and I was like, whoa, this is nice. I like this. But every other time before that had been like at someone's house and their parents were like upstairs and you're like, what do they come down? What do they love? Yeah, it's like super paranoid. I once got really, really stone where my aunt was at my house.

It's a long story where she drove a semi-truck into a building, but we don't have to get into that. And I remember I was like, she's a lot. I'm going to go smoke some weed. I'm going to go on a walk with a friend. And then I came back and I was so high. And my sister was trying to talk to me and I just kept going, huh, man.

Did you tell her that you were high? No. No. That's funny. I think my sister's like, sometimes Nicole's funny. She's having a nice time. Sometimes she's having a nice time.

I can't form a sentence. You used to smoke and then now you don't. Do you? I don't. And I haven't in a really, really long time. I think my last straw was... My last straw. My 13th reason.

I just kept ruining experiences for myself. What do you mean? I kept ruining concerts. Like, I would have to leave concerts early. And it's like, well, that was a waste of money and time. Why did I do that? Or, like, I went to a festival and Michelle Buttoe was there. And I had an edible and then went to her house and drank a bunch of wine, had no food.

And then we went into direct sunlight. And we were talking. And, like, you know, like, when you turn off, like, one of those old TVs, like, the picture, like, gets small into, like, black. That's what it was like. Like, it was, like, is, like, getting, like, there's, like a haze around her face. And I was like, I think I got to sit down. And she's like, oh, okay. And then I just passed out onto the ground.

And yeah, and then I got high the next day anyway because it was a three-day festival. You said, I had to Power 3rd. You said, you gotta have more. And then I remember walking home by myself high. And then I was like, you know what? It's not safe. This is not a good idea.

It's not a good idea. And I can't keep doing this to myself. I'm just, I actually can't think of many times. where I got high and I was like, you know what? That enhanced the experience. I actually had more fun because I was high. It's usually like, no, I got tired. Someone had to take me home.

Someone had to feed me. Like, I left this thing early. Everyone's having fun without me. And I'm like, this sucks. I refuse to learn my lesson. Because I'm like, yeah, I now don't smoke weed in public anymore. Because I would just get so hot. and be like, well, I got to sit down and be in a corner

and maybe nobody talks to me. But I went to Orlando for my friend's wedding and I had these little gummies. I can't remember how many milligrams they were, but like, who knows? But I discovered if I ate a quarter of one, like late enough, would have a nice, like, almost stony time, go to sleep, wake up like a little stony

and giggly. and I had a great day and then I would dose myself again at night and then wake up and have a great day and I was like, what if I got a little stony ear? So then I ate a whole one. I didn't even like, or maybe the next night I had doubled it and I was like, ooh, I'm even giggilyeer

so then I ate the whole thing and then I woke up and I was like, oh, no. Oh, no. And then we had to go get our nails done and I was like nodding out. The nail salon. And then I was sharing a room with my friend at the, he's still my friend, my friend and his partner at the time.

And I was like, why am I sharing a room? I can afford my own room. And then I said to him, I was like, I think I need to get my own room. And he goes, okay. And I said, how do I do that? He was like, you got to call the hotel. So I called the hotel. And I'm in the back of this car, I think at Uber.

And I was like, hello? They were like, hello? I said, can I have a room? They were like, yes for how long? And I said, three days? Like, which three days? Exactly. And I was like, today, tomorrow and the next day.

And like, do you have a credit card? And I was like, can I bring it to the desk? They were like, yes. And then we get back to the hotel. And then I was like, oh, I got to go to the desk. Oh, no. And then at the desk, I was like, hello, I called about a room. And they were like, okay.

They were like, oh, you're the girl who needed to bring the card to the desk. And I said, yes, thank you so much. And then they, like, ran my card. And then they gave me the keys to the room. And I said, this will unlock the door. And they were like, yes. And then I do remember someone was like, do you need assistance getting to the room? Oh, no.

And I said, no, I'll be okay. And then it took me a while to find. And then it turned out it was just across the hall from where the other room was. And then I was like, I texted everyone. I said, I think I really got to lay down for a little bit. And then I don't even think I pulled the sheets back, but I woke up face down on the bed with my feet off the bed.

Shoes still on. And then texted everyone. I was like, I'm awake. And it was dark out. Like, so much time had passed. And I'm pretty sure I got high the next day. But it was bad. Oh, my God.

I was with my friend Evan. And I remember Evan was like, are you okay? And I was like, I'll ever be okay again. This is who I am now. Yeah. And then got into a hot tub later. And then that wasn't good. Because it was like, I'm just coming down for being the highest I've ever been in my life.

And I'm going to cook myself. Yeah. Mm-mm. That was tough. And it was Orlando full of weirdos. Ah, that's probably why they were like, whatever. Probably like, you're not the weirdest one we've dealt with today.

What's your credit card number? Can I please bring it to the desk? That's really funny. And that's like not the only time I've gone to a front desk and people have been like, it's her. Oh, you're the one. You're the one. This story I've definitely told

My aunt sent me a Thanksgiving or an Easter dinner through the mail I think so Tell it again Well she put a raw ham A box of cornbread Mix Uncooked bacon

A cooked I think turkey I don't know some of it was cooked Some of it wasn't She did not put like dry ice or anything in it It was not in like a plastic thing It was just all the ingredients for me to make an Easter dinner were in a cardboard box.

She shipped it via normal USPS. So it took a couple days on a hot truck, I assume, because she was shipping it from Michigan to New York. I didn't pick it up for a minute and then the post office was closed.

So all of these ingredients had rotted. And when I gave them the little pink slip, they went, she's here, it's her. It's her. It's her. What is it? What is it? It's hard. And then they... We gotta see what it is.

Because it was dripping. Ew. And it smelled disgusting. Like, is there a body in here? Yes. So then I was like, well, I can't carry this home. So I had to open it in the post office with these ladies, like, making fun of me. And, like, pointing at me being like, girl, what is?

And then I just, like, pulled out a ham. That's really funny. I mean, you got to do need a witness to this. You need someone to be like, wait, that's great. My roommate was with me, Jen, and she was like, why? She kept going, why is this happening? And then my aunt was like, did she get the dinner I sent you? And I was like, I did.

It was delicious. I should have told her it was all rotted, so she didn't do it again to somebody else. Yeah, don't send food like that. No. Good times. Good times. Should we answer listeners questions? I think so.

Hit it. This is a text message sent in. Hi, Nicole and Sashir, love the show. I'm looking for some friendship advice for my partner. Some background info. I'm bisexual and my partner is a gay man. My partner, we will call Colin and he is a friend who we will call Ryan. Ryan came out to Colin as a bisexual a few months ago but was clear he wasn't out to most people.

recently Colin was out to dinner with some mutual friends and one of those friends brought up the fact that her brother, who's gay, showed her a hot guy he had recently hooked up with. It was Ryan's grinder profile. The group immediately started speculating about Ryan's sexuality and why he felt like he needed to hide it from his friends. Colin spoke up and explained that Ryan was not out and had confided in him and asked the group to swear they won't talk about it to anyone else and the group understood and agreed. The friend who brought it up even texted her brother to ask him not to tell anyone what happened. Now Colin is worried about whether or not he should tell Ryan about what happened. I explained as a by-man, I would not want to know who knew. But Colin is worried Ryan will see his attempt at tamping down the rumors as a betrayal.

This is also not the first time someone from the group approached Colin questioning Ryan's sexuality. Up until now, Colin simply played dumb and tried to keep Ryan's secret that he was. a trusted Colin with. What should Colin do? Please help. Thanks again for bringing us joy in such dark times. I got confused with the names and the things.

Okay. Okay. So there's a couple. One's bisexual. One's gay. We didn't need to know this. Okay. There's this other person,

this friend who has come out as gay, is on Grindr, hooking up with people but hasn't come out to friends and family because they, for whatever reason. But the person who wrote in, their partner knows that this person's gay because they confided in them.

And then these two are out with their other friends. And then Carol's like, he gay? My brother saw him on Grindr. And then he's like, oh, yeah, but don't tell anybody. So the person who wrote in wants to know if their partner should tell this person who has soft launch, they're coming out to just them, that other people know. Thank you so much for helping with that.

Hey, you're welcome. And the fingers helped too. It really did. Just seeing them in action. Well, because I was like, this couple, we didn't really need to know as much information. We just need to know that this person. Yes, got it.

And also when I was listening, I was doing that. Oh, smart. I think if friend is out here in these streets publicly on Grindr, I think you can say, just so you know, a mutual friend saw you on Grindr, so people have been asking questions. I didn't say anything because that's your business. How would you like me to proceed in the future if this were to happen again? I think that's really smart.

Right? Yeah. Because it's like, it's not my business. business to tell your business, but the people have been asking. The people have been asking. Did the partner of the person who wrote in confirm or deny the sexuality of the friend? This, the partner who knows the sexuality told all the other friends who were asking, said yes, they're gay, but please don't say anything.

Yes, yeah, but they're bisexual. Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. They're bisexual. Okay. Yeah. It came up with other friends because someone saw you on an app. And... Grindr.

Tell them it's grind. You say it. On Grindr. And yeah. So, because it's not like someone asked the friend and then they said something. It's like this information was found out. Mm-hmm. Through the wild.

Yes. Yeah. And that's why I'm like, you got to just go back to them and be like, how would you like for me to handle it? Because it's like you don't have to come out to your friends and family. You don't. Nobody owes any explanation, like how you live your life sexually. You can do whatever the fuck you want. But it's like, friends are asking, how do you want me to proceed?

Yeah. I like that. I think it's smart. Right? Mm-hmm. Because it's like, yeah, don't tell my business, but I'll let you know how I would like you to handle it. Mm-hmm. Solved.

Solved. Hey, Nicole and Sashir. Love listening to you guys since I struggled to find the genuine female friendship you find in each other. But since the undiagnosed ADHD brain of mind forgets people I can't see, I don't miss friendships too much. Anywho, that was a dark turn to an email. So I saw that there's a movie calming out called By Design about a lady who envies a chair so much she swaps bodies with it. And I immediately thought of Sachir. In my opinion, you've got a major fan out there.

So my question is for both of you, you have to choose an inanimate object to play in your next movie. What will you be? Hope your day is delightful. Bye-bye. I mean, I would be a chair, but that's already taken. Mm-hmm. Hmm. I'd probably be a Bratstall.

I think you'd be a car. Yeah, you're right. Yeah. You should be a car. Yeah. Wow. The world was my oyster. and I went small.

I went local. Yeah. I was not thinking globally. Think globally. Cars are everywhere. Yeah, I'd be a little compact car. Yeah. Ooh.

Maybe I'd be a day... A Chase Lounge. Ooh, yes. Be a Chase Lounge. Yeah. I just found a fabulous Chase Lounge. Oh. But I don't know the company.

I don't know it super. well and I don't know about its durability. And it's a little expensive, so I'm nervous to order. I thought I'd let you know. Thanks for let me know. I need updates on this. What kind of car would I be? Maybe a cute little Toyota. Like an older Celica or a Piseo.

Or maybe it'd be like a little Dodge Raider. That's a little SUV. Okay. Oh, no. Bring back cute cars. Bring back cute cars. I was writing jokes the other day. And I just wrote down the sentence, what happened to minivans? I didn't write a single other thing about it.

And then when I got to the stage, I looked at my notes and I went, what happened to minivans? And what was the reaction? Everyone just went. And I said, I don't have anything else. It's just a thought I have. And if people come to see me do stand-up,

that's what they're going to get right now. I just have thoughts that I got to work out. And that's okay. Eventually there'll be a joke. What color is your Chase Lounge that you're going to be? I think it's teal. Mm-hmm. Stripes, no stripes?

No, no stripes. Solid. But it probably has those little, what is the rivets called? Rivets? The dimples? The dimps. The chair dimps. Oh, like a button.

The buttons. Pin tucked? Oh. I don't know. And we don't need to figure it out. You're full of the. those holes. Thank you so much. You're like a swish cheese. Big cheese. Big. Big! Yeah, I'm going to be an itty-bitty, cute little car that's like purple.

I see that for you. Thank you. Well, we did it. We did it. Another episode slapped together. But with love. With love. So she, I can't wait to eat potato chips. Well, let's go get them. I'll bring my bag. All right. If you have any questions or queries, you can email us it. Nicole and Sashir at gmail.com. And we have a phone number.

323-896-7721. 3-2-3-3-8-6-554. Mine is wrong. Leave that person alone. Don't call them. Don't call them. Don't do anything. I don't know.

She's like, people keep calling me for friendship advice. I don't know who these people are. But what if we turn her into a guru? Oh, she's like, you know what? I do have an answer for that. I do have an answer. Wow. Let's call that.

No, I always see what happens. Goodbye. Bye. That was a head gum podcast. Oh, I'm Johnny Knoxville. And I'm Jeff Tremaine. Welcome to Jackass the podcast. A new show coming to F***.

Coming to F***. That's what it is. Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville. And I'm Jeff Tremaine. Welcome to Jackass the podcast, a new show coming to Headgum soon. Woo-hoo. I've learned a Jackass movie has to be really 90 minutes. Every minute over is a minute to rock.

Apparently, there's only so much butthole you can take. We're going to take you behind the scenes of our entire history. All the best bits, bad behavior, and even worse decisions. All of it. Sometimes we don't make the right decisions, Jeff. I noticed that. Every so often. With guests like Spike Jones.

I think this committed Jackass the podcast. What was it going to be called? The Jackass podcast. The Jackass podcast. Without you, the IQ drops significantly. Steve-O. There's a strong chance that were it not for Jackass, that I would be in cloud makeup right this fucking minute.

Chris Pontius. That shot of your butt just cruising out. I'm like, I got that on TV. God bless us. Dave England. Yeah, when you come in and you, you're being really nice. I'm like, damn it, something bad's going to happen to me.

Wee man. Jeff grabbed me from the back of the head and threw a punch. The whole bar just stopped and wanted to kill me. And some of the crew that's been with us from the beginning. I had to share a room with this guy. I left a nice surprise in the toilet form. Every time. Apparently, he hates to flush.

Subscribe to Jackass the podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcast, Pocketcast, or wherever the hell you get podcasts. Our new episodes drop on June 18th. Look out for new episodes in your feed every Thursday. Watch video episodes on YouTube and follow along with us on Instagram and TikTok at Jackass the podcast. What were we just talking about? Probably buttholes. Hi, I am Mandy Moore.

Sterling K. Brown. And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast, That was us now on HeadGum. Each episode, we're going to go into a deep dive from our show, This Is Us. That's right. We're going to go episode by episode. We're also going to pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors. Are we going to cry?

Yes. A little bit. Are we going to laugh? A lot. A whole lot. That's what I'm hoping, man. Listen to that was us on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify, new episodes every Tuesday.