Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Nicole Hates Mondays

Episode Date: May 20, 2026

What do hundreds of Garfield-themed phones washed ashore and a robbery of 12 tons of Kit Kats have in common? Nicole and Sasheer talk about both topics in this week’s episode of Best Friends! Our favorite hosts also wonder about James Cameron’s love of water, how they’d handle AI on social media if they were president, and Nicole shares her dream of seeing all of the fruit-themed bus stops in Japan. Watch this full video on YouTube and follow below!Follow Nicole: Twitter, Instagram, TikTokFollow Sasheer: Instagram, TikTokLike the show? Rate Best Friends 5 stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts!Have a friendship question for Nicole and Sasheer to solve? Leave us a voicemail at [phone]‬ or write in at [e-mail] Friends is a production of Headgum Studios. Our producer is Allie Kahan. Our executive producer is Anya Kanevskaya. The show is edited, mixed, and engineered by Richelle Chen.This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Best Friends via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. This is a headgum podcast. Hello, Sishir. Hi, Nicole. How are you? A little tired. Oh, no. I didn't get good sleep.

I'm sorry. Yeah, I started getting sleepy around nine. And I was like, oh, baby, I'm about to get some full sleep tonight. And then I think I hit the bed at like 10 and then slept. And then I thought I felt something crawling on my leg. And I like jumped up out of bed. like, rip the covers off, so was searching. I think it was just the sheet moving.

But it really, like, rocked me. And so then I was, like, full of adrenaline. And I couldn't, like, calm down enough to go back to sleep. So I was just up for hours. I'm sorry. I hate when that happens. Yeah. That's happened to me before where I was like,

oh, something's odd made. Then I'm like, well, it was nothing. There's nothing. And now I'm awake. Yeah. I get that. Yeah. I, last night at 11, was like,

I'm so tired. And I've been tired all week, and I was like, what's going on? It's because I wasn't taking my iron supplements during my period. That'll do it. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And I woke up a little jet lagged, even though I've been nowhere.

But just mentally, you've been places. Just been all over the world. Oh, my God. I had a wild dream where you were in it. Uh-huh. And we were going to acting school. Okay. We were living in the dorms.

Mm-hmm. And the shower was filthy. Yeah. It was so gross. Mm-hmm. So then I barricaded the doors so the other acting students couldn't get in. And then I bought bleach and I cleaned it. Oh, interesting.

I don't know what that's about. Hmm. Maybe like clearing out some. Dirt? Maybe. Some old stuff. I don't know, but it was such a dirty, gross shower, and I was like, how were these girls getting in here, just shoeless, touching it? Ugh, it was so nasty.

And then I don't remember if I asked you if you were going shoeless or not. I just remember you being like, it's a shower, Nicole. We get clean in the shower. And I was like, okay. But it's dirt. You can't get clean if it's dirty. No, I like a clean shower. I don't know.

My dream, you were nasty as hell. No! Filthy. No, that was a fake version of me. I don't know. I would never. I don't know. I don't know.

I think there's a version of you that wants to get filthy. Gotta get dirty! You were actually in my dream last night, too. Oh my God, what was I doing? We were visiting each other. In my dream, let's see. It started with, I guess I was going after the cartel. Okay.

They were like, I had a backhouse. They were going through my backhouse, putting on my clothes. I was like, I got to. The cartel was putting on your clothes? Yeah. Taking a break from crime to get glammed. I also like had pigs on my land and they were like chasing the pigs. And I was like, this can't happen.

And then I like wrangled one of them and put them in my pickup truck. Also, I had a pickup truck in this dream. And then we had a best friend's live show in a theater. And so I drove to the theater, got out, you were getting ready. I think we had a guest. And then I had to try on a bunch of different shoes. I was like, I'm going to wear what I'm going to wear. But then I want to try on different shoes.

And then maybe like a producer of the show or someone was like, here's a bunch of shoes for you to try on. Some were too tall, somewhere too pointy. Like, none of them were working. Uh-huh. And I was like, it's fine. I was leave alone. I was like, and I had to figure out the situation with this guy in the truck.

And so you started the show solo on stage. And I was like, I'll be right back. And I went outside. And then the guy's, like, tied up in the back of the truck. And I was, like, talking to people on the street. And I was like, you got to help me, like, pin this guy down while I call the police. And so, like, we all pile up onto this guy. Well, first, someone approaches him.

himself and that was a mistake because this person was really strong so they like whacked him in the head and then that guy fell and then I was like no we need to dog pile him and then we dogpiled him and I called the police and I was like we're on this street and this street and they're like you have to be in the embassy in a order for us to arrest him and I was like

oh man and then we all I have a show to do I'm time for this and then we all dragged him to the embassy and then the police came and then they got him and I came back to the stage And then the show had ended. And I was like, I'm so sorry. I had to deal with a lot of stuff outside.

And you're like, it's okay. I took care of it. Wow, we had very different dreams. I'm just cleaning a shower. You're dealing with international crime. It was a lot. Were we doing the show in Mexico? Or was the cartel here?

They were here. Oh, wow. That's wild. I know. Yeah. I don't know. It was quite actually. I haven't had an active dream like that in a while either.

Maybe because I was so pumped up with adrenaline looking for that spider that didn't exist. And then when you finally fell back asleep, your body was like, we're going on an adventure. We got to fight something. Wow. That's wild. I know. I fell asleep on the couch on Saturday. I was watching, I think, drag race.

And then I was like, I'm going to close my eyes for a little bit. So then I rested my eyes. And that, nobody rests their eyes. you're going to sleep and then I woke up at 4 a.m. I was like, oh, well, I guess I'll keep sleeping here. And then I slept for a little bit longer

and I was like, I should just go to bed. Yeah. Oh, Lord. Oh, Lord. I've definitely, yeah, I've definitely fallen asleep like the whole night and been like, but my bed's not that far.

Like, I could just go to bed. Yeah. But for some reason, getting up and then doing all the things that you need to do to get ready for bed. Because you've got to brush your teeth. Yes. Maybe wash your face.

Yes. But you don't want to do that. You don't have to do any of that on the couch. No. The couch doesn't care if you come correct. That is very true. Come as you are on the couch. Come as you are, fall asleep.

Love your life here on the couch. And by the time I get up and go do all of those things, now I'm not tired anymore. Exactly. I lost the sleep. Mm-hmm. That is a wild thing. I lose sleep all the time. Mm-hmm.

Like, if I go to sleep too early, too early for me is any time before midnight. Mm-hmm. I will wake up at like three or four in the morning and be like, well, time to make the donuts. I got to get up and do things. Maybe I'll make myself a little snack. Oh my God, before bed last night or maybe it was two nights ago. I bought chocolate cake. And I was having a nice time on that chocolate cake.

Nice. And then fell asleep on the couch and then woke up with a tummy ache. Times are hard. Times are hard. They're just so hard. Yeah. I told you I've been sleeping on the floor lately. And you were like, are you okay?

Well, I was like, does something happen? Did your bed reject you? Is your mattress torn up? Are you going through it? No, none of the way above. I mean, I guess the mattress isn't great. But I keep seeing these videos about the benefits of sleeping on the floor. And I was like, it's got to be better than what I'm doing right now.

My body hurts when I wake up. And, like, my mattress, I was like, I couldn't really feel much of a difference than my last mattress. And I was like, I don't know. It feels fine. But then I started, I like put a mattress topper on the floor and I put a weighted blanket underneath it. And I was like, let me just try this out and see if I like it. And it's not like, you know, an immediate fix right off the bat. But I do, I am waking up like less sore.

Okay. And I'm like, okay, that's good. And then I went back to my mattress to test it out. And as soon as I, like, lay down, I was like, oh, I've been sinking this whole time. I had no idea. Yeah. I think we all got to get back to the mattress stores and try them out. Test them out.

Take little naps. Put your body on it. Put your body right up on it. Yeah. I once slept on the floor on a girl's trip that we were on. Yes. We went to Palm Springs. we didn't have a say in the house that was rented.

But I remember, I think I was the last one there, so I got the room that was left, and the room that was left had a little day bed on it that I was like, huh, this looks like it's for a child. And then I, like, sat on it, and I was like, I think this bed is going to break. And then when I fell asleep on it, every time I turned over, it'd be like,

and I was like, I'm going to break this bed. So then I slept on the floor, and boy oh boy was it not nice. I did not have a mattress topper. I don't have none of that shit. Yeah. Everything in that house felt like a model home. Yes, it felt fake.

Yeah. I felt like if you just touched it, it would fall to the floor. Mm-hmm. And my big body late on that day, but I said, ma'am, no, you have exceeded the weight limit to this. Yeah, it's not nice to be on the floor when you're not expecting it. No. If you're not mentally prepared for floor sleep. Yeah.

And I think about like all of the sleepovers I went to where we, that was, you had to sleep on the, yeah. There weren't enough beds in this home. That's true. You invited me here and I had to bring a sleeping bag. I remember my first sleepover, I didn't have a sleeping bag and all the girls were like, you don't have a sleeping bag? And I was like, no, I sleep indoors in my bed. I'm not going camping. So then my mom had to go to Costco and we had to get a, I think it was a Coleman brand.

A blue Coleman brand sleeping bag. Yeah. And it had flannel on the inside. It was very warm. Too warm. So then I always had to sleep with it open. And then I was like, now I'm exposed to the elements of your home. And I also like, there's no point of the sleeping bag now.

No. Because it'd be on like a little quilt or something. Yes. Did you ever have to bring a sleeping bag to a friend's home? I actually don't have a memory of that. I don't remember even owning a sleeping bag. because, again, also, my family didn't camp either. But I did have sleepovers.

Maybe I just brought, like, covers, like bed sheets. Yeah, I probably brought bed sheets in a blanket or something. I remember lugging around this gigantic fucking sleeping bag and unrolling it out, being like, I guess this is the part of the floor I'll sleep on. Oh! And then all the girls would, like, fall asleep, and then I would just be awake. Yeah. So then I remember I watched a movie called The Dentist while all the girls were sleeping.

Oh. It's a fucked up movie where this man just, he's ripping teeth out of people. Oh, God. I don't like that. And there was titties at one point. At the dentist? What? Yeah.

My titties are never out of the dentist. My titties are as an adult. They've never, wait, as a child, like, ha. Oh, like, only as an adult? I hope they've never been out. They have never been out. I don't know why I phrased it like that. That's really funny.

No, my titties have never been out of the dent. Since adulthood, they've never been out. Before that, oh, my titties were always out. I actually remember, like, a news story when I was younger of this man, this dentist who got arrested because he had multiple cases of putting women under and molesting them. And then one woman suspected it because, like, if she, like, came to. and like her shirt was disheveled and she was like what? And then I guess she like got a camera, which also like, I feel like this was like the 90s.

I'm like, what camera does she have? Like a full camp quarter? Yeah, just with a cut out in her purse. Yeah, but it had a good view. So she like had a camera set up somewhere where he couldn't see. And then she like went under it, which is also like so, that's so scary to like, be like I think this is happening, but I'm willing to risk my body again just to make sure this is what's happening.

And then he like, yeah, put her under and was like kissing her and feeling up under her shirt. And it was like so gross and disappointing. And yeah. And then you got arrested. Thank God. Yeah. Good. But honestly, that's like loser behavior to me.

Yes. You got to put people out to kiss them? Yeah. Shoot your shot at a bar. I mean, that's also how I feel about like sexual assault in general where I'm like, wouldn't like the cool thing or like. like the like conqueror mentality, be like, wow, I'm so good at talking and like, and like my personality is so great or, or I'm so hot that I can make women want to talk to me as opposed

to like, I have to drug them. Yes. Or like force myself upon them in order to like have this experience. I would feel like so lame. I would also feel lame. Yeah, I would feel like a loser. Yeah. Like, oh man, the only way can get sex.

if I force it. And then like, people be bragging about it? People need to be like, whoa, dude. Yeah. Aren't you sad? Yeah. You're sad. That's kind of pathetic, dude. Yeah, you're not cool. We can't hang out with you. Yeah. That's how people should be responding. Honestly, yeah. Yeah, I can't even imagine. Like, it's never crossed my mind to be like, huh, what if I give this person drugs and then they love me? Yeah. Instead, I go, let me find a book. spells in it and see if I could cast a spell. Oh, interesting. Oh, you've never tried to cast a spell to get someone to like you? I haven't. You even bought tea candles and lit them in a pentagram? No. And read an incantation to say, he will love me if I do X, Y, and Z? And are you doing this for

someone specific or, like, for anyone who's supposed to do? No, I did it for someone specific. Whoa. And I'll tell you something. Didn't work. Hmm. But also, like, I'm kind of glad it didn't. It didn't. I don't want to know that that can work. I don't want to know that that's an option for people to access. I mean, like, I feel like there is magic and, like, manifesting. If you put the right energy out, like, the things that you that are supposed to be coming to you will come to you. But, like, specifically being like, I want this person to love me or I want to hurt this person or whatever. I don't like that.

We were deep in the pandemic and I was like, what if, what if I did the spell? What if I buy tea candles off Amazon? And I still have those tea candles. And right now they're in a box to give away because I hung up that cloak. Great. I'm glad. My cloak is hung. No longer that kind of witch.

I actually saw a video where this girl was like cleaning a river just like with other people who were like, oh. For whatever reason in my brain, she had like a wireless Dyson and was cleaning. up the river, but I get it. They're like cleaning up the environment. Yes, yeah. And she found, I think it was like, it was like a mirror compact that had a couple's picture in there and needles going through the couple's eyes and their genitals and then like a dollar bill

and like maybe something else was taped in there and it was like taped around and it was like written, something was written on it. And people in the comments were like, girl, that's a hex, put that back. Yeah, put it back. Don't open that. Oh, ooh, that's scary. See, I'm not doing none of that. I'll do that. Mine was just like, like, love, come to me.

He will come, say his name three times. Name, name, name, name. Oh, my God, did you know? I think it's in Germany. Wait, is Germany landlocked? I don't know. There's a place in Europe that's not landlocked. Oh, okay.

Where Garfield phones keep washing up on shore. I did see that. And it's because, I guess, like a carrier ship of, like, goods. filled with Garfield phones sank. Which is also like, where are they coming from? Where is there a high demand of Garfield phones? That's really funny. Isn't that funny?

Yeah. Also, I guess it's plastic. I was like, also that they're light enough to float to shore. Yeah, they're plastic. I would love to live in that town. Yeah. I would be like, God has been blessing us with Garfield phones. What does God want us?

to do with these gar- We got to enter the call. And the call is, please make me lasagna. And let me sleep in on a Monday. What's today? Monday. I do hate Mondays. Yeah. I really am Garfield.

I love lasagna. I hate Mondays. That's true. Mondays are just so tough. Yeah, because you really have to like get started. Yeah. It is. There's no warm up either.

It's like, bam. Monday happens. You got to get the fuck up and go. Go back to work. Yeah. Hmm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm.

I wonder who made a five-day work week. Why do we work more than relax? I feel like there is an answer to that. Allie! Allie! Hit it! So Henry Ford is credited with popularizing the five-day 40-hour work week. He officially adopted it for his Ford Motor Company factory workers in September 1926.

While labor unions had been fighting for shorter hours, Ford's moved to five days without reducing pay, prompted industry-wide adoption, and helped solidify the weekend norm. Ugh. Yuck. Do we know what it was before that? Oh, yeah.

It was a work week before. Yeah. Before Henry Ford came in and fuck shut up. Tis, tis. I think it should be, there's, seven days in a week. It should be four and three. Definitely. So before the five-day 40-hour work week, it was a six-day work week. Oh, that's worse, actually.

And people were working 60 to 100 hours per week during the late 19th and 20th century. So Henry Ford came in and saved us. I looked like he actually, actually made it better. Good job, Henry Ford. Yes, Henry. That's six days a week, a hundred hours? Yikes. Whoa. I mean, that's wild.

That's why no one's smiling in the photos back then. That's so funny. They're like, we have to get back to work. So tired. You want me to pose for a picture on my one day off? Oh my God, that's wild. When I worked at Lane Bryant, I didn't really have weekends. Oh, yeah?

No, because they would just schedule me whenever they wanted. Which is so wild to do in retail. Like, I feel like you should hire people to work on the, like, let people choose. Do you want to work on the, like, let people choose? on the weekends or do you want to work during the week? Yeah. But it was just, it was a crap shoot as to whether I'd have a weekend off. Like, how far in advance would you know your schedule?

I think this schedule will come out on Fridays for Sunday through Saturday, I think. That's like very quick. Yeah. To just be like available? Yeah. That sucks. It did suck. And I wasn't even full time.

So they would schedule me like 39 hours. So I wouldn't. get benefits or anything. Wow, that's rude. $7.50. No benefits. And I would steal over time. Nice. Mm-hmm. I would take shifts. So I would switch shifts with girls or just take their shifts towards the end of the week. So then they would have a hard time trying to find someone with less hours to replace me. And then I would try to get time and a half. And baby, those time and a half checks. Oh, great. Oh, pay my rent and eat some chicken.

Well, pay my rent and eat some chicken. I used to love those. The man, working retail sucked. Yeah, I worked in retail, and the story I worked at was, like, cute, and, like, the girls were all really nice. And I was hired, I guess, I guess we agreed on the weekends, and I wanted my weeks free to audition for commercials. but there was like such a small staff that like sometimes people have to sub in to like cover for other people. And they'd ask me to sub in and I'm like, no. No, I'm sorry. I'm a thespian. Have you ever heard of one?

I just had to be available in case somebody wants to see me audition for a commercial. And they're like, please? I can't do that. No, I simply can't. And I will mess up most transactions that I make on these registers and you will have to clean it up on Monday. That's so funny. When I worked at Lane Bryant, I think they're called real woman dollars or something. It was this long receipt.

Yeah, the receipt would be long because you had to spend a bunch of money to get the real woman dollars. And then you'd have to staple these very thick, like, thing, I guess coupons to the receipt. And then you'd be like, keep your receipt and these thick fucking coupons. And these women would do it. Oh, wow. They would keep these. fucking thick things and then come in and use their real woman dollars. And I was like, this is, this is a scam. This is wild. You're not saving that much money. Yeah. And then you have to spend

it within like three months of when you got it. And I'm like, I don't think you need more clothing. Yeah. Within three months. Oh no, girl. It's wild. I mean, I think it's also like most sales are like a scam. Yeah. They're like, hurry up and get more before it was. the sale goes at. And you're like, I got to buy more stuff just to get the free shipping and the thing. And I needed two for one. And it's like, it would have been costly anyway. You don't have to spend that. It's wild when I'm like, you know, shopping for something online. And it's like, get more. And I'm like, okay. And then sometimes I go, wait, the shipping is the same price of this like free item that I don't need. I'll just pay for the shipping. It's okay. I don't need more. But you know what I need more of?

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May, M, A, Y. is what? Mental health awareness month! And we but Alma

does help you get a therapist and I think therapy is super important I think it's important to meet with several therapists unless you click with the one you meet

and you know trust those instincts but if you're not clicking I've had a few therapists I've had one, two, three, three therapists individually, and I've had maybe one, two, three couples therapists. So I've had a good share of therapists that I've talked to. Yeah.

And I think it's good. I think it's important. I think it helps you evolve as a person. It helps me be more empathetic because, you know, me. I'll say a blanket statement of something that doesn't make no sense, and you'll go, hey, friend. And my therapist will help me with that. too. And it's nice because she doesn't know me. She only knows what I tell her. She doesn't know my friends.

She only knows what I tell her. And I try to be as truthful as possible. But she can also look at other people's perspectives since, you know, she's not me and she's not in my friend group. Yeah. What's one thing to share that just like brings you unequivocal joy? Ooh, unequivocal joy. Butterflies. Really? Yeah. Seeing butterflies in my yard is really nice or like dragonflies or birds or rabbits. It's just like really nice. And I like being connected to nature and feeling like it's attainable. And kind of takes my mind off of me. Now I'm like now I'm thinking about things literally outside of myself. I like that. That's really nice. Yeah. My mind went to, there was a dragonfly in my pool the other day.

Had it passed on. And then I was like, don't think about that awful thing while your friend is going, this brings me joy. I saw a dead one. Did you like that? It was dead as hell. I'll crunched up. I hope I had a good time before it died. It probably did.

I also have been finding joy in nature, in flowers. and I'm a farmer. Yes. But I recently was like, oh, some of my plants are dead in a way that I don't think I could bring them back. So I went and bought some flowers at Armstrong Garden Center. Well, I was going to say Anderson, and I was like, that's not it. And then I repotted them, and it just feels nice to, like, have my fingers in the dirt. and I bought several different types of flowers,

so I was like making my own potted bouquet, if you will. And then I got to just look at them and be like, look at that. I like that. I mean, it's so pretty. It's nice when you do it yourself too, and you're like, I can do anything. But then sometimes you buy a plant and then it just sits there and then you don't pot it. But then every time you look at it, you go, hey, I'll get to you eventually. I'll still water you.

Will you grow and have a nice time? I just talk to the ones I neglect. But yeah, I love therapy. And if you're thinking about getting into therapy, I would hit up Alma. Yeah. Because a year from today isn't that far away. And you can get started now at hello alma.com slash best friends. That's helloama.com slash best friends.

B-E-S-T-F-R-I-E-N-D-S. That break was good. So good. Did you hear about a Kit-Cat robbery? Not the Kit-Cat robbery. I sure did. did it. Apparently, there was a robbery of Kit Katz from a truck causing a shortage of Kit Katz with Easter impending. Oh, no! Wait, am I right? Am I making this up? Okay.

Twelve tons. Twelve tons of Kit Katz! Oh my God. Some hungry bitch was like, oh, oh. You're like, what are they going to do with it? Sell it on the black market? Who's demanding Kit Katz like that? I don't know. Whoa. I don't know. But imagine like a Kit Kat heist. Like the boss of your gang is like, all right. So the Kit Kat truck.

And you're like, wait, what about money? No. Kit Katz. And then they're like, give me a break. I think you should go. I really just think you should get in your car, hit that button, turn it on, back out of the parking lot, drive home. park your car, go inside your home and really think about the things you say to me.

That's what I think should happen. Yeah. Get on out of here. Come on. If I was president, every time someone made a pun, they'd have to leave the room. Drive home and think about why they... I would do it in a heartbeat.

It'd be worth it. Like, whatever. I'll leave this situation. I'll leave this function on a high note. You said a pun during your set and the audience groaned and I just screamed. And he went, good enough. It was really funny to me. I don't, I feel like when people groan at puns, I'm like, you're faking it.

You're lying. You know this is good. You know it's good. You know it's smart. It's quippy. It's fun. Why not laugh? Stop having, stop trying to have not, stop trying to not have fun.

Uh-oh. Stop trying, stop. You short-circuted because you're mad. Smoke people don't like puns. Just like a pun! I think I don't love a pun because I never see them coming. But that's the fun about it. I think it's I never see them coming, but I should have.

But you don't have to. Give me a break was good. It was like, yeah, of course. And that's why I wanted you to leave. Yeah, but it's like, I don't know, if there's like a magician and they do a trick and they trick me, I'm not going to be mad at the magician because I didn't figure out why the trick happened. You're right. I'd never be mad at Chris Angel for walking up a ladder.

The wrong way. With no shoes on. Yeah. He's made a lot of choices. Mm-hmm. If you were to steal something, what would you steal? Like anything in the world? Yeah.

Hmm. Maybe one of those big chairs from the brood. Oh, that's good. Right? Yeah. I like that big table at the brood. Oh, boy. Every time I get under it, I get wowed.

Because it makes me feel so little. Yes. Sometimes, I said this the other day to you. I was like, sometimes I wish big hands would come out of the sky and lift me up, put me to sleep. Just like rock me around. Yeah. They'd take me around. Hold me like a baby.

Wouldn't that be so fun? It'd be very fun. There's a Ratatouille ride in Disney World where you are the size of a rat. And so, like, there's a huge fruit and, like, huge tables. And, like, I mean, most of it's on screen. So, like, there's, like, a person, like, trying to scoop you up or whatever. But there's also like big things in the room that are like bigger than you. And it's fun.

You feel like a little mouse. It does sound like fun. And I'm not a Disney head. I am not. But that does sound like a nice time. Right? Yes. They're in Japan.

I think it's in Nagasaki. There are fruit-shaped bus stops. Oh, yes. You showed me. I got to get there. You do. I got to get there. I said to that nice man, I said, that's a stop.

I would like to make. Yeah. And he was like, well, what would the plan be? And I said to ride public transit around, take pictures in the big fruit, get on a bus, go to the next stop until we hit all the fruits. Yeah. And he was like, okay. And I was like, you just don't get it. You don't get it.

It doesn't have to be a purpose. That is the purpose. Yes. The destination is the journey. Yes. Are the journey's a destination? Who knows? Either way.

Who's to say? Who's to say? Somebody said something funny. Oh, my stylist Marco, we were talking about eyebrows and he was like, they're cousins, not sisters. And I was like, yeah, they're cousins, not sisters. And then Grant, his assistant was like, it's their sisters, not twins. Oh, that's funny.

And I laughed and laughed because that's funnier. Their cousins. They're not sisters. One's up here. Very different, yes. A whole completely different lineage. Yes. One's red.

One's blonde. Oh, eyebrows. Eyebrows. My makeup artist, Jen, was like, did you do your eyebrows again yourself? And I was like, yeah, how could you tell? She was like, well, you have a bald spot on this one. And I said, oh, okay. But like, you could just fill it in?

She was like, yes. But I don't know how to do my eyebrows by myself without causing big old bald spots. Are you plucking them? No. Waxing them? No. I'm using a razor. Wow.

I'm going, I hold them up and I go. Yeah, that's risky business. Call me, Tom Cruise. Never seen it. I just know he's got the sunglasses. And he slides in? Yeah, he slides in. But I don't know why.

Because I want to say he has a day off But that's Ferris Bueller But it feels like he's like at home Like without the parents or something Yeah, is he young in that movie? Yeah. Yeah, right?

Risky business. But like teenage yet or 20 is young? I don't actually know. I don't know either. Hmm. Tom Cruise has had a career. He sure has. What happens in risky business, please, Allie?

So he was, he plays a teenager. teenager in the movie. He was 20 when he filmed it. And I haven't seen it in so long. He hires a sex worker, right? Oh. I guess he did have a day off. So it follows sexual exploits of high school senior Joe Goodson who's staying home alone during his parents' vacation trip and meets a call girl named Lana. And this was his breakout role. Wow. Well, well, wow. Okay. Who played Lana? Rebecca de Moranay.

Hmm. I wonder why it wasn't her breakout role. Yeah. Double standards. I don't know. I don't know. Some people have played sex workers and had a breakout role. The Pretty Woman. The Pretty Woman. Julia Roberts. Wow. I was like, who is the pretty woman? Yeah, Julie Roberts. I just saw a tweet about that where she says how much she costs,

and then he goes, how about I give you this for the week? But if you did the math, it's lower than her hourly rate. Oh, no. Oh, no. But, again, I don't know how true that is. Yeah. Can't believe everything on the Internet. That's true.

Because AI is making my heart swell with things, and then I find out it's just AI. I hate it. The thing I just told you about the other day was allegedly seven dogs had been kidnapped, and then they found their way home and they were protecting each other and it was like a real life homeward bound sitch and it wasn't true. I know.

It really sucks. Bum me the fuck out. Allie, did you see that? No. Oh. I did see it. I was so excited. I sent it to Tessa

and she was like, this is so heartwarming. Is it real? And I said, definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Didn't even fact check. I sure didn't. I really didn't.

No, I think it was like in the garden. Or something. And I was like, that's, I think that's a reputable news source. Which also, like, that's scary, too. Right? If, like, papers are talking about... Yes. AI things and not knowing it.

Well, I think if I was president, I would make all AI videos and pictures have a little watermark that says, hi, this is AI. I don't believe it. Yeah, be nice. Yeah. Because then I don't have to feel feelings about fake fuck. walking dogs that weren't even lost because they're not real. Huh.

I watched a movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger. I don't think you can say that. How do you say it? I think it does have all those components, but you really broke it up and slowed it down. Damon, it's crazy that he didn't change it. We were all running around saying that man's name. What is crazy? Arnold Smith.

But... Is he proud of his name? I guess. But in the movie, it was called The Sixth Day, and in the movie, you could, like, clone your dead dog? And I don't want to get to that point where there's, like, a store I can go to that clone my dead dog. We're here already. It's happening.

I know Barbara Streisand has, but has anybody else? Probably. Oh, Lord. I think I did see a story where someone did clone their dog, and then they were upset that it didn't actually. have the same personality, which like, yeah, it's not going to be the same dog. Like, I guess DNA-wise, it's the same, but, like, doesn't mean that it's like the same. Yeah.

Same characteristics. Well, a woman in the movie was dying of a disease. I don't remember which one. And she was like, oh, and her husband was like, I'll bring you back. And she was like, please actually don't because I'm tired of, I don't want to, what, she was like, I don't want another person to have to. to try to live my life because she was living the life of the woman who died before her, who she was cloned from.

Oh. Because you're not, it's not like a duplicate person. Yeah. It's like the clone is the same DNA, but it's like different thoughts. So had his wife died before this clone? Yeah. So she keeps dying. Yes.

And he keeps bringing her back. Oh, gosh. Isn't that wild? Isn't that hell on earth? Yeah. Let me die. That's sad. Mm-hmm.

It's a good movie, though. What's it called? Sixth Day. Sixth Day. Okay. It's pretty wild. Yeah, sounds like it. I've been watching a lot of old movies.

You have been? Mm-hmm. Yeah. I just saw True Lies. Okay, I've heard good things about that. Yes, I was trying to finish all of James Cameron's filmography. Yeah, you love. I'm a Cameron head.

You're a Camhead. He loves water. He loves water. True Lies, water. The Abyss, Water. Where's water and true lies? Oh, there is, have you seen true lies? No.

Oh. Isn't it like about a couple or something? Yes. It is about a couple. But there is a scene where they're fighting some bad guys and then Arnold dives into water. Water. That is water. There's water there.

But Terminator and Terminator 2, I don't think have water. But they're like, the like, metallic-y, gooey, like effects. Kind of look like water. They melt up into water. James loves water. Yeah. God, I want to meet him.

I feel like that's possible. How? I don't, I don't know, but like. You said it. How will you make this happen for me? Set up a meeting. Tell your reps. They'll be like, about what?

I'm like, just a chit chat. Just a chit chat. Because I have questions. So like when he means, made the abyss, did he have the idea of Avatar because some things in the abyss, I don't want to say what, I don't want to spoil it

in case you haven't seen it. It's from 1989. Don't want to spoil it. Some things from the abyss remind me of Avatar. And I'm like, was he writing down like side notes? It would be like, other movie. These ideas are for the other movie. Probably.

Maybe. Just like keeping, like, little ideas. Yeah, you probably have ideas from like 10 years ago that you just like still have. Yeah, you're right. But I don't have the drive of James Cameron to make them come into fruition. Yeah.

But maybe I will right after we meet. You'll be so inspired. I think I will tackle that thing. And one of my favorite things I've learned is the producer on The Abyss is also the producer on Armageddon, which is almost the same kind of movie. It is, yeah.

Trade water for space. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Trade nuclear warheads for a comet. hurling towards the earth. But other than that, same. Yeah. Oil rigors?

Don't trade them for anything. There's still oil rigors. There's still oil rigors. That also sounded wild. Yeah. Should we do a quiz or should we do questions? Hmm. It's a funky amount of time.

It's an odd amount of time. Mm-hmm. Maybe questions. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Hi, girlies. I love your podcast.

so much. Hearing your voices gets me through my work days. This is a long one, so I'm going to jump right in. I have a question on how to move forward with a friendship. We work together so I can't remove myself entirely from the situation. What I think is an important note. Everyone mentioned in this email is over 30 years old and has been over 30 for the entire timeline of this email. We're all employed at the same place, but in separate areas, except my friend who this email is about and her boyfriend. They work very closely together. After three years, or about three years after the boyfriend got hired, my friend went on a date with him. They defined the relationship the same day.

She immediately told her family but not her friends since he was hesitant on that front. They share a lot of friends at work and he didn't want to get around and ruining their careers. I only found out because I asked her while we were hanging out after work one day. After nine months of dating, he still hasn't told his family that he's seeing anyone. My friend told me that she expressed discomfort about this with him frequently. Not in a tell your family right now way, but it makes me feel like you're trying to hide me so that you can cheat way. Instead of reassuring her, he simply ignored her and told her it was funnier if he didn't tell his family. This happened regularly.

The timeline here isn't my issue. It's that she was in tears every time they talked about it. And he continued to think it was funnier to not tell his family or to have a serious conversation about why he wasn't ready. Two years into his relationship, he told his family, but it wasn't willingly. The worst part is that after his family expressed how fond they are of my friend, he said, I should have waited even longer to her, not to them. This is only one example of his disrespectful behavior towards her. I have more examples, but anything else would make the email too long and it's already long.

I started seeing my partner shortly before this incident. They told their family about me almost instantly, which, as a person from a close-knit family, I knew had very little to do with me. It's a reflection on their relationship with their family more than a reflection on their relationship with me. However, it really upset my friend, and that was when she started taking her anger out on her boyfriend, or anger on her boyfriend out on me. I've tried to have a couple conversations with her, but nothing changed.

She continued to blame me for other people's actions, including both conversations, and refused to acknowledge her frustration with her boyfriend. After that, I started to distance myself from her, and we no longer communicate outside of work. Recently, I noticed that she's been letting all of her friendships fall to the wayside for this dude, so it's not just me she's taking her frustration out on. How do I balance dealing with all of this, but not completely isolating myself at work? She's very frequently around when I try to chat with my other friends at work, so avoiding her is difficult. Plus, removing myself every time she walks up has resulted in people asking me what's going on, and I don't want this to be a

bigger issue than it actually is. Also, I don't know if there's a realistic scenario where I can talk to her about this since my last attempts ended so poorly. But I'd love to hear any advice you might have on that front. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. Y'all are amazing and I can't wait to hear your thoughts. Best, tired, and burnt out. Hmm. I mean, it sounds like this person who wrote in has already distanced themselves or like put up some space. And I don't think you have to Like, the description of like removing themselves from the room when the other person walks in does sound dramatic. And people are going to be like, what's happening? I mean, I guess I don't know how you feel when you see that friend.

But you can be cordial. You're co-workers. You can downgrade how you feel about this person and, like, have less expectations for them as, like, a close friend. And be like, I can still talk to them. And when you're at work, hopefully, her personal issues and her relationship won't come up anyway. So it's like you don't have to talk about that stuff. You can just be surface, keep it light, keep it moving, keep it civil. And do you?

Because it also doesn't sound like this friend's even like trying to hang out with you more anyway. So it's like you're not at risk of like having to like turn her down. Yeah. I agree. I think it's like you don't need to remove. yourself, just, you know, hi, how are you? I got emails to send or whatever. But I think it's, I think, yeah, if you don't want to answer questions as to why you keep removing yourself from the situation, I think it's just like, fine to just be there. You don't even have to,

like, be there. You can disassociate. Like, you, yeah. If that person, like, really makes you feel a certain type of way, yeah, just, you know, just, I don't, I, I, I just think walking away is a little childish and a little, like, overly sensitive. Yeah. Especially if this person has, like, removed other people from their lives as friends and stuff. It's like, she's on her own journey. True. Let her be on her own journey.

You all work together. Mm-hmm. You know, you don't want the environment at Enron to feel bad, you know? It's already bad. I don't even know if it's a company. They're already doing well. Not doing well. But yeah, I agree.

Just like keep it moving, keep it cordial. Yeah. Solved. Ooh, another break. You can buy so many serums and different skin care products, just trying to like get it refreshed and make sure it's not like wrinkly or whatever. But you don't realize that the thing that affects your skin the most is the thing touching your skin eight hours every single night. It's your bedding. Bowl and branch bedding from their organic cotton sheets to their breathable pillows and comforters is a

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Code best friends. Exclusions apply. Starting something new isn't just hard. It's terrifying. So much work goes into this thing that you're not entirely sure will work out, and it can be hard to make that leap of faith. Trust me, I know. When I started doing this podcast, I wasn't even sure what I was doing. Like, isn't anyone going to listen?

Are we going to make fools of ourselves? And now I know I was right in believing in myself and launching a podcast, despite all the fears and hesitations. It also helps when you have a partner like Shopify on your side to help. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e-commerce in the U.S., from household names like Magic Spoon and Mattel, to brands just getting started. Get started with your own design studio. With hundreds of ready-to-use templates, Shopify helps you build a beautiful online store that matches your brand style. Accelerate your efficiency, whether you're uploading new products or trying to improve

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It's why Shopify has the best converting checkout on the, planet. It also helps boost conversions, meaning less carts going, abandoned, and more sales for you. It's time to turn those what-ifs into with Shopify today. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today. Shopify.com slash best friends. Go to shopify.com slash best friends. That's Shopify.com slash best friends. More questions now that we're back. More questions. Hi, Nicole and this year, love, love, love the pod, and everything you do. I'm a gay 25-year-old boy who's recently come best friends with another gay 25-year-old boy. Despite initially meeting on Grindr years ago, nothing ever happened between us like that and never would, especially as since then he's been

in a years-long relationship with a man I've also become good friends with. Anyway, recently I've been hooking up with this one guy, but it's since gotten more serious and we're properly dating now. The thing is, he happens to look just like my best friend. Personally, when I look at them, they feel very different to me because I know them both very well, but I can't deny that there's so many similarities. And my best friend has concurred. They're the same ethnicity, have the same hair color and style, similar facial structure, and even similar fashion sense.

Is this weird? I've told my best friend and shown him pictures and he seems to think it's funny, but I don't want the guy I'm dated to be weirded out by him. especially if the two of them would likely meet someday. Am I overthinking this or am I right to wonder how this reflects on me? Is it just funny and I should go with the flow and laugh along with it? And how would either of you feel if you started dating someone and found out their best friend was your doppelganger? Thank you so much for any help you could give me.

Much love from New Zealand. P.S. When listening to the pod, I sometimes find myself singing to the tune of what dreams are made of. Hey now, hey now, this is Tashir Sameda. Did I make this up or did Nicole sing it once since I know you're a big fan of that song? Okay, sorry, bye. That's very funny. I don't know if I've ever said that.

It doesn't bring a bell to me. Hey now, hey now. This is Sashir Sameda. That's really funny. I mean, I love it. I don't think I've ever sang it on the podcast. I don't think so either. But on every single Instagram post that's just a static picture, it's that song.

I see. Well, that's my walkout sound now. I guess so. Whenever I perform. Hmm. What an interesting query that I don't think I'd ever thought of. Mm-hmm. If you started dating somebody who looked identical to me.

Mm. I mean, my first thought is like... you're attracted to who you're attracted to. Mm-hmm. And I'm attracted to my friends. Like, I, like, I have attracted them into my life, and I like, I am attracted to qualities that they have. And, separately, I'm attracted to my partner.

But they don't always have to be so different, you know? Mm-hmm. So I guess, to me, I'm like, yeah, you like what you like, so. Also, they match with their best friend on Grindr. So, like, you, yeah, clearly you're... Upon seeing them, they say, let's get it. But then they were like, no, no, let's get friendship. Let's get friendship.

So I think it's fine. Yeah. I think if no one else is saying they have a problem with it, you don't have to have a problem with it. Yeah, and your best friend's like, ha-ha, that's funny. Yeah. So I don't think you have to like overthink it. No, I think it's fine. Maybe, though, they'll meet and they'll be like, whoa, we do really look alike.

And then one of them will be like, well, I am adopted. And then they'll be like, whoa, are we brothers? and then they do a DNA test and then their brothers. Oh my goodness. All in the family? Maybe. Wow. Or maybe it's a fight club situation where their best friend is who they're dating.

Oh, no. They've just been imagining somebody else. Oh, no. I mean, all of these fun scenarios could happen. Let them play out. Solved. Solved. Question.

Future bride current overthinking. Nicole and Sashir, the two BFFs that have made me non-staffed, Tee-he-he. I have a friendship relationship bridesmaidship question I could use your advice on. I'm not engaged yet, but my brain has decided it's time to spiral about bridesmaids anyway. I need help choosing bridesmaids without overthinking it into oblivion. My fiancé has a super clear, tight-knit group, and meanwhile, my friendships are a little bit more scattered. I have people I love, but no obvious lineup. On top of that, I don't really want anyone I ask to feel obligated or blindsided. Being a bridesmaid is expensive and time-consuming, and some of the women I'd consider

are new moms or just busy in life seasons. The last thing I would want is to accidentally put pressure on someone to say yes. So now I'm stuck between wanting a small, meaningful group and feeling weird about not matching his side, or even whether I need a maid of honor at all. Are there good alternatives? are there a good alternative ways to structure a bridal party that feels less traditional or lower pressure? Is it okay to skip having one altogether to include people in different more flexible roles? How do I make it clear that there's zero pressure to say yes? And how do I balance wanting

support on the day with being mindful of people's time, finances, and life stages? Basically, how do I do this in a way that feels true to me and considerate of them without making it awkward? Thank you, podcast BFFs. Hmm. It feels like our listener who has written the email overthinks. So, overthink the email that you send to your friends when you ask them to be your bridesmaids. Do a financial breakdown. Can you afford this?

Here's the time that will be involved. Can you dedicate the time to do that? And then be like, and I broke it all down for you because I really don't mind if you cannot afford this, if you cannot dedicate the time, I am okay. if you say no, but I did the work for you. That's a really good idea. I like that. Yeah. Right?

Yeah. And I guess also decide what is necessary to you. Because I think traditionally a lot of people do like a bridal shower, a bachelorette party, a rehearsal dinner. I guess that's it. And then like the wedding, right? But if you don't want a bridal shower, you don't have to do that. If you don't want a bachelor's party, you don't have to do that either.

You don't have a party with everybody and be like, That's what we're doing. Mm-hmm. And maybe you can talk to your partner and be like, maybe if he has like 11 best men or whatever, you'd be like, can we shave this down? Like maybe he doesn't have to have everybody. Or maybe like, yeah, maybe if you have like three people in mind

or even two people, maybe you could be like, okay, you can still have your groom's party, but we only have two people standing with us up there. Yeah. So it doesn't look like so uneven. Mm-hmm. And he can still do like, his bachelor party with all his boys or whatever else he needs to do, but the only people you see

are equal. Or keep all 11 groomsmen have zero bridesmaids and during the ceremony go, Oh, I'm alone, Wolf. I'm just kidding. Don't do that at all. But I like that. I like it's like three can stand up, but like they are part of the groomsmen party. Yeah.

And then also, it's just aesthetics. It's just like the vibe. Like if there's 11 groomsmen and three bridesmaids, that's fine. Yeah. Maybe the bridesmaids can keep going down the aisle and walking with the next groomsmen. I like that. Yeah, turn it into a bit. Have a nice time.

That is funny. I don't think I've, I used to think about who would be in my bridal party. I haven't thought about it in a really long time. Yeah. Have you thought about it? Yeah. But also, I don't know what. I mean, yeah, in my mind, I'm like, I don't know what I want it to look like.

We might not have anybody up there. I don't know. We'll see. Yeah. I officiated a wedding where there was, I think, two from each side standing there. And I thought that was lovely because it was like, yeah, everyone else, watch it. Have a nice time. We're put on a show.

We're putting on a show. Be dazzled. I mean, a wedding is a show. You rehearse for a wedding. That is true. Isn't that wild? Which I'm also like, you're rehearsing walking, but then also like, people have fucked it up. You'd be surprised.

So you kind of do need to rehearse. The day of, because we didn't rehearse with a staircase, the day of the wedding plan was like, go, go, go. Like a runway. Yes. Because it was like going down the stairs took longer than anticipated. So it's like, you got to get the other person going as they're halfway. Wow. It was very funny to watch.

And I was like, huh. Yeah. Should have rehearsed with stairs. Oh, well. Oh, well. Yeah. Yeah, I think you can be creative with a wedding. Your wedding doesn't have to look like anybody else's wedding.

We went to a wedding that was super fun. And I don't think there was a bridal party. But I feel like it was like, and I don't even know if anyone was officiating. There must have been an officiant, but I can't remember. But I feel like there was like an open time where it was like, if you want to speak, just get up and speak. Do you remember this? You and I went to this wedding. It was like in a farm, there was hay.

Yes, and there was also an improv show later. Yes. I performed at a wedding in an improv show, I believe. So you can make up your own rules. And I still have my glass from that wedding. I do too. Yeah. That's funny that the glasses have been in my possession longer than the marriage last.

I know. Yeah, that's a little unfortunate. It was a really great wedding. It was a great wedding. I had such a good time. That's so funny. You were like, you were there, and I was like, what? You're like, that sounds fun.

I was like, you were there. Now I remember. Yes, I remember now. Yes. I also went to a wedding where there were no bridesmaids or grooms people, and it was a friend officiating. And I thought that was very, very lovely. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I think you can make it as, like, simple as you want or as, you know, over the top as you want. It's your wedding. It's your rules. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Solved. Solved. One more, por favor.

Thank you, signorita. Hi, Nicole and Sashir. After struggling to make friends for a long time, I joined a women's networking club that has weekly social outings and made a new friend. She is smart, funny, outgoing, and always wanting to try new things.

The only thing is that she's 15 years older than me. I have no problem with this, but as the younger one, I wonder if I'm lacking in terms of bringing experience and depth to the friendship. Personally, I'm not a fan of folks much younger than me

because I find them immature and naive. I might be overthinking this, but I just don't want to be dragging the friendship down or anything. Do you have any age gap friendships? Am I overthinking this, or is this a cause for concern? Thanks. Hmm. I don't think you're dragging or bringing that person down

because they're choosing to hang out with you. Yeah. And I think it is beneficial for both parties to hang out with people of a different age. Mm-hmm. Like, I don't know how old this person is that's writing, but like, say they're in their 30s. Yeah, hanging out with someone 15 years younger than them probably isn't that appealing.

But if this person is 15 years older than you are, you are a full adult and you are probably adding value to the conversations in this experience. And, yeah, soak up all that experience that she's giving you. Get those wise words that she's giving you. Like, it's fun. That's like a cool way to bond with somebody who's lived a little bit more than you and has learned a little bit more. Yeah, and that being said, this person who's older than you might have friends who are like married and have kids and maybe they don't have that experience. So they're happy that somebody who's an adult wants to like go do things with them. Yeah.

So yeah, I think it's 15 years is nothing once you hit 30. It does feel that way. Like truly after 40, everything's the same. Yeah. Like it doesn't really matter. 40 year old and a 55 year old, easy, breezy. Easy breezy. A 55 year old and an older person, I won't.

Do that math. 70? Are you trying to do 15? Or just like older? Yeah. 55. 60. I think it's 70.

Oh, I did do that math. You did do that math. Yes. Believe in yourself, girl. Yes. Come through public school. But yeah, I think just enjoy it. Have a nice time.

Yeah. Because also I'm sure she's learning something from you too. Like technology, maybe. What's happening with the apps? You know? Yeah, what's happening with the apps? I got to hang out with somebody younger so they can explain what's happening with the apps to me. What apps?

What apps do you need explaining? Any app, really. Honestly, any app. Any app on my phone, there is something I don't know about it. Just tell me what's going on with it. I didn't even think of that. I guess, yeah, I don't really use my phone to its maximum capacity. I don't know what's going on.

I charge it. I text. Plug it back up at night. It tells me the time. Yeah. The weather. I go on Instagram. It's funny. I was wearing a watch today and I was like, what time is it?

And that nice man in my life was like, look at your watch. And I said, it doesn't work. And I went, oh, it does work. And then I knew exactly what time it was. It was a good time. Nice. And the time was a good time. Yeah, I thought it didn't work, but it definitely does. It is 405. Ooh. Allie, was I right? Yeah. Hell yeah. solved. Well, if you have any questions or queries, you can call us or text us.

You're good? I couldn't tell if I wanted to do the number or the email. Call or text or leave a voice message at 323-23-8-6554. We also have an email address, no-colon's this year at jamel.com. Jamel? Yeah, I put some sass on it. Gmail. Dot com.

Well, signing off from this green chair. And signing it from this Navy Blue Sete. I'm Nicole Byer. And I'm the Sharesamata. Hey now.

Hey now. It's the Shearsamata. Well. Goodbye. Goodbye. That was a hate gum podcast. Hi. I am Mandy Moore.

Sterling K. Brown. And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast, That Was Us, now on Headgum. Each episode, we're going to go into a deep dive from our show, This Is Us. That's right. We're going to go episode by episode. We're also going to pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors. Are we going to cry?

Yes. A little bit. Are we going to laugh? A lot. A whole lot. That's what I'm hoping, man. Listen to that was us on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify. new episodes every Tuesday.