Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Nicole is a Creamologist in the Creamy Kitchen

Episode Date: April 1, 2026

Our favorite pair of best friends have so much to chat about this week! Sasheer’s almost done watching All Her Fault, Nicole’s continuing her Rosetta Stone journey learning Spanish in her car, and they both watched the America’s Next Top Model documentary on Netflix. Also discussed are a few new additions to the Handsome-And-Over-65 stable, the genius that is the Barefoot Contessa, and Nicole’s latest experiment making Diet Dr. Pepper flavored ice cream. Watch this full video on YouTube and follow below!Follow Nicole: Twitter, Instagram, TikTokFollow Sasheer: Instagram, TikTokLike the show? Rate Best Friends 5 stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts!Have a friendship question for Nicole and Sasheer to solve? Leave us a voicemail at [phone]‬ or write in at [e-mail] Friends is a production of Headgum Studios. Our producer is Allie Kahan. Our executive producer is Anya Kanevskaya. The show is edited, mixed, and engineered by Richelle Chen.This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Best Friends via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Come on me, amiga. How'stas? Bien, and too? Oh, very bien. And that's where that stops. We've talked about it before, but I've been continuing my journey on Rosetta Stone. Great. La Mujer Corre. This is, they're really stuck on the way. Women are running. El Ombres, Corre. People are running. The men. I think El Ombres is the men.

The men are running. Yeah. They're stuck on running, reading, Escriba, writing. Yeah. It feels like what's happening with Rosetta Stone is the same thing that happened with dualingo with me,

where it was like, Yo, como mensanas. They were talking about apples forever. They loved apples. Yeah. I do, I think. I will get a lot of help by talking with people who are also learning Spanish. Because when I talk to people who know Spanish, they can say a whole sense of words that I know.

Yes. But it's so fast or it sounds in a way that I, for some reason, my brain's not catching up that I can't get it. And I'm like, oh, man, I knew what you were saying, but I didn't. Because it was so fast. Yeah. But I think if I slowly talk with people who are also slowly talking, I can get it better, hopefully, and then eventually graduate talking people who are fluent. I think that's a good strategy. I've been insane.

I was leaving a parking structure the other night and was paying on – it was like a tap thing on their phone. And I saw that it said acceptar. And I said, too abra espional or tu abro espional. He was like, see. And I said, I, I preente or aprendo

Español. And then he went, see. And then he said something. I can't remember what he said, but I was able to respond.

And he was like, moe bueno. And I believe he said, keep going. Good. And I was, I, I drove home on

fucking cloud nine. I was like, I love, I love communication. Yeah. But it is interesting because I, I feel like

everybody I speak to, in Spanish who speak Spanish, they're all so nice to me and like really patient and like happy to speak to me in Spanish. Yeah. I think they're like excited that you're trying. Yes.

Yeah. And that's all you can ask of people. That's all you can ask. You can only ask for them to dry. Just try. Just dry. I know you don't watch 90-day fiancé, but I only talk about it with Marcy

who I host 9-Day Bay with, but I just want to tell you what's happening in the 90-day universe. Just real quick. There is a woman, Kim. Episode 1 of 90 Day of the Single Life, because she was dating Usman Soldier Boy from Nigeria, who is a singer.

They break up. She gets back home. Now she's single. She's looking to mingle. And at the end of the episode, you find out that she, well, she has a son named Jamal. But at the end of the episode,

you find out there's another son that she gave up for adoption. Larry, who is Jamal's full. blood brother, that she was in like a bad relationship with their father and gave him up for adoption. The end of episode two, you find out there's a third one. She gave up two kids for adoption, a boy and a girl. We don't know the girl's name. And then on Instagram yesterday, we find out she said on the show that Larry reached out to her via like ancestry.com or like somehow he found her. Yeah. But then she was like, I got to clear something up. The reason why Jamal was so mad it me is because for three months I was catfishing Larry as Jamal.

Her, she was catfishing her son? She was catfishing her son as her son who didn't even know that the other son existed. Oh, well, yeah. And I was like, whoa, how do you start messy and get, how does it get messier? Messier. Which also, like, I guess you don't know how someone's going to react when you were like, hey, I'm your mom who gave you up for adoption. So maybe she thought as a brother it would be better.

But then also like they're going to find out. Yes. That's going to make it even harder. You're making an uphill battle for this person to be like, I trust you now. Now nobody trusts her. Nobody trusts her. Isn't that wild? Catfishing your son.

As your son? That's a lot. It's so much. And I'm just like, yes, reality television is back. That is messy. People are wild. I'm loving it. People are really wild.

Oh, my goodness. My goodness gracious. What are you watching? All her fault. Have you seen it? No. I've heard of it. It's on Peacock, right?

It's on Peacock with Sarah Snook and a bunch of other people. That's a great name, Sarah Snook. Right? Isn't that her name? Yeah, she was on Succession. Which I didn't see. I didn't see. But I know she's in that show.

Does she succeed? I have no idea. It's funny, while I'm watching the show all her fault, anytime there's another woman on screen, I'm like, it's her fault. Oh, actually, it's her fault. You know what? It's probably all her fault. And it kind of, it's really interesting.

It kind of is a lot of people's fault. There's like different moments where it's like, oh, now I see why it's her fault. Oh, now I see why it's her fault. Interesting. Okay. But then also, there's a real strong theme of men being inept. Like, because it, there's, it's not, it's not spoiler because it's literally the first scene of the show and the concept of the show.

A kid gets taken. Yes. And no one's sure how or why or how we got to this point. But a lot of, like, the dads of the show are like, yeah, his teacher's name is, and like, looks at the wife to be like, what's the teacher's name? Like, they don't know shit about their kids or, like, the family life or what is involved with the daily schedule. So they can't answer the questions for the police because they literally don't know. And I was like, damn. I hope everyone watches this and is like, yes, dads need to step up.

Some of dads are amazing. Yes. But there's a lot like that. That's pretty normal for men to be like, but you got it. You're the mom. This is your job. You got it. I don't think my dad knew any of my teachers.

My dad, I don't think he went to back to school. I think that was like my mom, that was her jam. Probably. That was her thing. Yeah. Which, like, especially in these times, in these modern times women are also working full-time jobs and taking care of their kids. Like, it's too much. It is too much.

So a kid goes, how deep are you into it? I only have one episode left. Do you know whose fault it is? it's kind of everybody's but they're now pointing at one person where it really is all her fault Is Dakota Fanning in it? Yes

Okay, so I have seen this I know it exists. I know it's in the ether. Yeah. Which I love Dakota adult acting like as opposed to child acting I guess I love that she stuck with it That she wasn't like, that's, that's, you know, that was my past.

I hope you get to meet her and I hope you say that to her. I'm really glad you stuck with it. I'm really glad you stuck with it. You know, some kid actors, they give up, not you. It's true, though. Or they're like disillusioned with the industry. And they're like, I don't know, like, this doesn't feel right. Or they go do something else with their life.

And I do think she had a little bit of a break, but I'm glad that she's back. What? She was in Sam I Am? Was that her big thing? Her first movie? I guess. I don't know. know any of her other movies.

Uptown girls. I've never seen that. She was in a Denzel Washington movie. Ooh, the Equalizer? Wasn't the Equalizer? I don't think so. I don't remember.

I don't think so. Probably not. Gladator 2? No, I'm kidding. Man on fire. Oh. I need to sit down and watch more of Denzel Washington's movies.

Yeah. Because he is one of our Legends. Truly. A living, maybe I'll add him to the stable. Okay. How old is Denzel Washington? He is 71.

In the stable. And your old man's stable. Yes, thank you for saying that. In case people didn't hear the previous episode. This is the first one they listen to and they're like, she has a stable where she's putting... Actors above 65? Okay. Yeah, well, get on board, y'all.

Mm-hmm. I feel like Denzel, I would be scared to have him in my stable because he seems like he suffers no fools. Yes. And I don't have time for this. I don't want my feelings to be hurt. Yeah, I think he'd break out of the stable and be like, I have things to do. Yeah. I don't have time to be in the stable.

His teeth are so magnificent. Really great teeth. Oh, my goodness. I love a good tooth. But I also love an interesting tooth. Yeah. And his are like big and strong. but they're also interesting.

Yeah, I guess so. What a weird compliment to give someone. I love your big, strong, interesting teeth. Well, I just, I think, like, straight, maybe all of his teeth are straight. What do the bottom teeth look like? I don't know. I'm only thinking about the top ones.

Those are the ones that we see the most. I don't know what the bottom's one. I think, in my mind, they're all straight. Maybe they are all straight. Oh, she's got to put it on the screen. Put on that screen for us. Looks pretty straight to me. Well, those bottom ones I think are a little, oh, I think that's a little tongue action.

You can tell the difference between his tongue has teeth. I think those bottom ones are interesting. I guess so, yeah. Oh, what a beauty. I think that he just like that has a natural good smile. He does. Mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm. Ah, yeah.

Looking good. What? They took you somewhere. It really did. Oh, my goodness. What were you going to say? Oh, I've been seeing these clips. of the...

Oh, Morgan Freeman, too. That was interesting teeth? No, he can get in the stable. Oh, okay. I'm really... Something's going on. Something is going on. Sorry, what were you saying?

The... I've been seeing clips from... Are, like, snippets of the Tyro Banks' top model documentary. We gotta watch it. We have to watch it. Yes. But, like, talking about teeth and how they, like, actually did dental surgery.

to women on the show. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because they're like, you have a snaggletooth, you have a gap, let's fix it. Which is so curious to me because, I don't know, like, I always thought models, like, it's like, yes, you're beautiful,

but you're also interesting, and it's like teeth are a part of looking interesting. But I think that's more recent. I don't know if that was like, oh, I think models used to, like, when it was like supermodels when that was a thing, I think you had to be, like, perfect in a way.

They still looked very, different than average people. But, like, I think the more interesting look or unique look, it's like, yeah, you can have very fuzzy eyebrows, a gap in your tooth. Yeah, just like something that's not, like, obviously, like, this is quote-unquote standard beauty. I think that's more of a recent thing than back then. I just think about Kate Moss.

I think she has interesting teeth. Yeah, I don't think she was perfect. Maybe she's the only one. But anyway, you're right. Like Linda Evangelista, stunning. Cindy Crawford's stunning. Flawless, beautiful. Naomi Campbell.

Oh, Naomi Campbell's so beautiful. I love that she throws telephones of people. Like, oh, my goodness, that's fun. She's having fun. She's always having fun. Launching things at people. Yes. I think she did her community service in a gown.

I didn't know that. Yes, that's fun. But yeah, we do have to watch it because it feels like the clips I've seen. And Ty was like, we did what we did to make good television. I was surprised even said yes to that. Maybe top models coming back. Oh. Yes.

I think this is to like introduce cycle 25 or something like that. Wow. Honestly, with like as many people, many clips of people were pulling from the past of like things that do not hold up well. I would stay away from the franchise. Same. I would go, ooh, that's not for me. And then poor Miss Jay, I believe he suffered a story. stroke.

Yeah. I was like a lot of things happened. My goodness. And then I read somewhere that the portfolios they left the show with were too much for modeling agencies.

Of course they were, because they're like impasta. They're like laying impasta with tomatoes on their head. They're like, these aren't real. And ragu was like too much. They're like a different race. That doesn't really represent you.

We can't really use this. For me, I was, like, not super deep in a top model, but the worst ones for me was, like, the makeover episodes where, like, somebody would have, like, long, beautiful brown hair and they'd be like, all right, we're going to shave it and dye it red. Yeah. And then they'd be like, yeah, Tyrus says it looks better this way. And it's like, my goodness. Yeah, they really put them through it. Yes. And then apparently that, like, her, I was rooting for you.

Yeah. Apparently, I think I saw a clip that was like, she said more things. that had to be cut and then like a lawyer was brought in. Or am I right? I think you're right. You're right. We have to watch this. I want to watch it.

It's on Netflix, right? Is it? Yeah. We have to watch it at your house because I have ads. Great. We'll do that. Every seven minutes an ad pops up. It's tough.

I just saw this thing that said that Sony just patented a TV where when a commercial comes on, something like it won't show you the show until you stand up and say the name of the product. And then I pledge allegiance to glad trash bags. Ego! Ego! Waffles! That's nuts. Who's buying that TV? Someone who didn't do research and they're stuck in hell? Yeah, pretty much. I don't know if it's actually made or if they just patented it, but it feels really distilled. Oh my, yeah.

We don't need that. No. Also, it's weird because it's like you're just selling the TV. It's not like, like, when someone buys the TV, they already bought it from you. It's not like there's a subscription or like what benefit does the TV company get from ads? I don't know. But we need, speaking of ads, we need to throw to an ad right now. You know that feeling.

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And we ended up saying in this really cute house, they had a beautiful view, plenty of bedrooms. There was a pool. Nicole needs a pool. That's like a necessity for her. We had a big kitchen for people to cook in. I don't cook, but other people do. And it was great.

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best friends. Go to shopify.com slash best friends. That's Shopify.com slash best Friends. Now, I hope after you heard what that ad was, you stood up wherever you were listening to this or watching this and you said the name of what it was. Because that helps for some reason. That helps. That helps. I hope you repeated code best friends. B-E-S-E-S-R-I-E-N-D-S. You said Ego a while ago. I haven't thought about Ego waffles in a long time. I even have one in a long time. I haven't either I feel like I probably have been to a restaurant where they served echo waffles But I haven't bought eggo waffles in a long time

I don't have a toaster Oh I guess I could put it in the oven toaster Yeah Well to me a toaster oven is the slits Ew The slits, or you put them in the slits And then you go Flick it down

No don't flick it And they come up. But I have the oven. Oh. Is there a difference? They're both called toast. Oh, one's just a toaster. Mm-hmm.

And one is a toaster oven. Mm-hmm. Do you remember toaster strudels? Yeah. They were good. Oh. You really lit up. That was like my breakfast for a while when I was a kid.

I think I knew this about you. Yeah. I'm an old school Pop-Tart head. Oh. For some reason, Toaster strudel felt like a little fancier. Because you got to open that icing pack and then drizzle it on. I'm a chef. I'm a pastry chef.

It's like a lunchable when you're like assembling and you're like, it's a perfect cracker bite. Yum. And it's got like a flaky outside. So it's kind of like a croissant. It's got a flaky outside. This is so fun. We got to get you some toaster strudels.

I don't know if I would like it today. But I really liked it when I was younger. Maybe we've talked about this, but I loved the brown sugar cinnamon pop tarts, and I would cut them in half and scrape out the inside and just eat the sugary inside. And then I would leave the back because that had no use for me. And then I would put the frosted side upside down so my tongue could really get it. Oh, she said, let me get all the sugar immediately. Yes, I said, I want diabetes any way. I can get it.

As fast as possible. I did it. It took a while. But I got fair. I also really love a strawberry, unfrosted pop tart. Heat it up with vanilla ice cream. Whoa. That sounds really good.

It's really, really yummy. Oh, my Ninja Creamy update. Okay. You didn't ask for it. Didn't know there was one. My Ninja, you still haven't seen my Ninja Creamy. I still haven't seen it. With Creamify technology.

So I was trying to make Diet Dr. Pepper ice cream because I love Diet Dr. Pepper. And I love like a float. And I was like, what if the float was just ice cream? But I didn't put enough Diet Dr. Pepper in it. And it was like a whisper of Diet Dr. Pepper. And it wasn't good. This is my fourth creamy. And it was bad.

I'm so sorry. Don't be sorry. I'm experimenting. She's a scientist. I'm a creamologist. I'm a creamologist. in the creamy kitchen, in the ninja creamy kitchen. But I was like, out of four, one being bad, that's not bad.

Good average, yeah. Is it, like, inedible or just, like, didn't taste how you wanted it to taste? It didn't taste how I wanted it to taste. It was a vanilla base with the diet Dr. Pepper in it, and I think what I need it was more diet Dr. Pepper than the base. Yeah. And, you know, experiments, you have your control, your variable, and you're a high. hypothesis and the hypothesis was this will be yummy. Failed. Failed. But I've made other delicious

ones. Okay. Maybe you can use that root beer light ice cream in a rub beer float. Or I guess a Dr. Pepper's float. Yes. But I got so mad that I put hot water on it and cleaned it out. Wow. Okay. She said, no one will ever see this. No one will see my mistake. Also, okay, I didn't grow up with cable, so I didn't really watch the Food Network. So I'm very new to Idna Gardner, the Barefoot Contessa, which is such an interesting. Was that the name of the show or is that like her alter ego? So the Barefoot Contessa was the name of her shop that she owned and operated. Like that was in the, I think it was in the Hamptons.

And then she became known as the Barefoot Contessa. And then she got her show. This woman is a food scientist. Every recipe I've ever tried from her is incredible. So I didn't make brownie pudding because I'm waiting for you. Thank you. But I did make brownies. Okay.

And these are the best brownies I have ever had, let alone made. And I made a gluten-free version that was also incredible. Wow. I couldn't believe it. And I fucked it up. And it was still good? It was still good. Wow.

Yes, I did not fold the flour in correctly. Okay. So when it baked and you cut into it, you can see hunks of flour. But it's still really good. That's great. Isn't it wild that you could fuck something up and it's still delicious? That is wild. And I followed, I actually followed the directions.

I didn't take any shortcuts. Okay. Not here. No. Not now. I took that left that she wanted me to. I didn't go right and go around. So you have to melt bittersweet chocolate with a bunch of butter.

And she says to do it above simmering water. And I was like, what the fuck does that mean? So I was like, I think I've seen this happen before. So I put it in a glass bowl and let the water simmer. I would have just put it in the microwave and burn it and been like, whatever. But it was... Wow. It was so silky.

Mm-hmm. It was so nice. Yeah. I couldn't believe. Good job. Thank you. Thank you so much. It's really impressive.

I'm the barefoot, Nicole. Were you barefoot when you did it? You know I was? I was in my house. And I don't wear a slipper or a sock. You know are socks in your house? No. Not since the fall of 2024 or whatever.

What was that? I wasn't wearing socks then either. That was 2020. I see. I believe it was October. No, it was the beginning of November 2020 because I remember Thanksgiving. I was in mobile and was dictating to John Milheiser's now husband how to make sweet potatoes. Because I was like, I need sweet potatoes the way my mother made them because I'm dying.

No, I can't wear socks in the house. house. Oh, okay. Do you wear socks in your own home? I do. Most people do. My titsies get so cold. I don't even turn my heat on until my feet hurt.

Because I don't have, like, carpeting. I have rugs. So it's like a tile floors, and they'll get so cold in the winter that I'll step on them and be like, oh. And I'll be like, oh, I guess I got to turn the heat on. So I'm not in pain. Yeah. Definitely. Allie, do you wear socks in your home?

I do. Ooh, yeah. Okay, this is like a thing. People want their dogs covered. I want my dogs free to bark. I think it's a spectrum thing for me. Oh. Where you ever step on something and it's stuck to your sock?

Mm-hmm. And then maybe you don't like remove that thing very, like quickly. Mm-hmm. And then you're like, oh, let me like look at it. If that happens, I get very upset. And I'm like, this is disgust. It really does something to me. I'd rather step on something barefoot.

That makes sense, yeah. And I like to grip the earth with my toes. You're gripping. Yeah, how do you walk around? Stepping. I don't know about grip. I grip to make sure I'm not falling down. Yeah, great.

I have bad balance. That's true. You do need all the help you can get. Sometimes I'll get up from the couch and have to sit right back down because I'm like, I might fall over. Do you pick things up with your toes? Ew. No.

We're talking about grip. Yeah, I'm gripping the earth, not items. Well, I don't know. If you're like, I want to pick that up, but I want to bend down, you can just, boop, use your toes. So did you wake up this morning and you wanted to upset me? You said, I'm going to come to the studio. I'm going to make her so mad. You really want to talk about feet.

Well, I'm gripping the earth to walk around. I'm not gripping things. You could, though. I guess I could. Maybe I'll strengthen my toes and maybe that'll help my balance. Exactly. I have maybe a pinched nerve in my heel. I don't know how to fix it.

The internet seems to think it's planter fasciitis, but I feel like planter fasciitis hurts when you're walking. I don't know. I don't know either. I had a... I do know. I did have planter fasciitis for a second. That's so funny. That was like, I simply don't know. But no, I did.

You have first-hand experience, actually. Did it hurt when you were walking? Yes. When I would get out of bed, it would hurt so bad. And I went to a foot doctor and look, I can't believe. This was like a repressed memory. And he gave me a cortisone shot. And then it just never hurt again.

But now, yeah, like, if I keep my foot straight or flexed when I'm standing on it and then keep my legs straight and bend over to touch my toes, my little heel hurts. Hmm. Well, I don't know what to do. Do you think massaging it would help? Therigone it? Maybe, but I'm, I don't know what to massage or therogun because my lower back pain is my IT band or whatever, this band here. So I have to like massage that for my back to feel better.

Right. So I'm like, do I massage the heel or the calf or like the ball of my. Or do I just do it all and see what happens? I would do it all and see what happens. Got to get there. It's a numbers game. It is. It really is.

You might hit it. And that's my issue about getting older. I don't mind the wrinkles. I don't mind, you know, life slowing down. It's the aches and the fucking pain. It's really annoying. I don't want that. I don't want that either.

I laid down last night and my neck hurt. I just like shifted and I was like man the hell that's happened to me too where I like I now in my sleep in order to not hurt myself I like protect my I like woke up while I was doing this once I sit all the way up

in bed pivot around and lay back down because I think one time I like was laying down and just rolled over and I was like no no no So now my body goes, sit all the way up, move your body around, support it. Now lay back down. It's so annoying. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

I'm just, like, not here for it. Yeah. I don't know if I'll try this or not, but I was thinking recently, I was like, how can I sleep in a way where I don't feel like I'm crushing my body? Like, my bones are just, like, crushing themselves. Like, if I lay on my side, it feels like, like, like. everything's like sinking into itself and this like well now my shoulder hurts but I was like if I sit in a hammock I feel like everything's like held you know like look did try it try it set up a hammock in your bedroom please I might I this is I would like to see this I'll come over

on watch well you could get one of those like orthop I think they're orthopedic beds where there's two tracks yeah Where you sit up and you can, like, support your lower back with it, like, going into it. Yeah. You just... I do feel like I would be best suited to, like, kind of be in a chair. We got to take a break. Hi, it's Nicole Beyer.

And Sishiazumeda. Host of the podcast, Best Friends. We're here to tell you a little bit about something special coming up, or, as they say in Italian, Sarah Speciale. Mm, no notes. You might not be able to drop everything and book a ticket to Italy, but you can go to the theater on April 10th to see you, me, and Tuscany. You, me, and Tuscany is a brand new rom-com from Will Packer, the guy who produced Girl's Trip, and is starring Hallie Bailey and Reggae John Page. You, me, and Tuscany has all the ingredients of your favorite rom-coms, heart, huge laughs, and sizzling chemistry. in the enchanting vineyards of Tuscany, it's the movie escape we've been waiting for!

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Go to row.co slash safety, row.com slash safety for boxed warning and full safety information about GLP1 medications based on study and non-diabetics with obesity or overweight plus a weight-related condition with diet and exercise. Hoof, I'm back from Mattress Central. That was fast. It was so fast. I zoom, zoom there. If you could have a superpower, would you rather be able to fly but you can't tell anyone or read people's minds but only at night?

Fly. Interesting. I don't want to know what people are thinking at night. Or really, anytime. I don't need to know your thoughts. I picked, or I would pick reading people's thoughts at night. Yeah? Mm-hmm.

And is it like, are you choosing whose thoughts you're reading or is, like, thoughts just come into your mind? Uh-oh. I think maybe you could choose. Mm-hmm. I don't know. I don't think that far ahead. Okay. Okay.

If you could fly or move metal or make people do what you want, what would you do? Hmm. Flying's pretty cool. I picked making people do what I want. Okay. I want everyone to act right. So you want to be in everyone's business and make them do what you want. Well, when you put it that way.

Wow. But I guess. Am I just nosy? Yeah, I guess so. I really am nosy. There was a woman standing in the cul-de-sac the other day, and I was like, what is she doing? So I sat in my car longer to see. what she was doing. What was she doing? I don't know. She outlasted me. I was like, I have to go inside.

Is he standing there? She was just standing there. And then like the park is right there. So I was like, did she come from the park? It was too much. I should have just asked, what are you doing? Could have. But that's rude. Maybe if you say it like that, yes. What are you doing? Like, hey, you okay? Okay. I bookmarked this in my brain to tell you. And I forgot. about it for a very long time, because this is the second episode we're doing today. I had a recurring dream. Okay. I had a dream that I've already had happen again.

You said it right the first time. So I've had this dream. It happened again. So again, it happens to me. I had a dream once. And then another time I had that dream again. So it was recurring. I think I've had this dream maybe three, four, five times.

Okay. So in this dream, I have... a house that is a very bright color, but the garage is on a different side of the house, and it's on a whole different street, but it's like connected to the house. But then if you walk past a pool and then like, I guess into the woods, there's two more houses,

and there's a man who lives in one of the houses. And he is a, like, he hates me and he's mean to me, and he yells at me. And I was like, I'm going to call the police on you. And he's like, and then I'll kill you. Oh, my gosh. And it's really strange. And I don't know.

And I, like, the house is very, it's very, like, visceral. And I can, like, see it. And it's the same house. And the front door is the same. And where the garages is the same. And then that man is the same. But he lives in, he either lives in one of the two houses in the woods or he lives in this like attached house over the garage.

Uh-huh. But he's taken over both of those. Interesting. And he won't let me take them back to do what I want with them. Oh, no. That's not nice at all. No. Is it scary?

Yes. He said he was going to kill me. I mean, that's pretty scary. And then he like came in, not this dream, but like a dream I had before he came into the house and was like, leave my house alone. And I was like, and it doesn't matter if you walk these doors. I can get in here. And I was like, ah. Oh, no.

What do you think that means? When do they start? Do you know? These are recent dreams? These are over the span of years. Oh, wow. I can't remember the first time I had this dream. But it was a long time ago. And when it happened last night, I was like, oh, my God, the man's back.

And the house is back. Not the man. Not that man. I feel like an intruder in your house or, like, someone trying to get in your house is something about, like, privacy or, like. Like, I guess literally feeling intruded upon or your boundaries being crossed. Allie, do you my looking at it? Yeah. It symbolizes vulnerability, anxiety, or violated personal boundaries in your waking life.

The intruder can represent unwanted, shameful, or neglected parts of yourself, breaking into your consciousness. It also may indicate a fear of loss of control or unwanted influence. Whoa, I'm not feeling that right now, but maybe unconsciously I am. Yeah. And the man who's so mean to me, he looks like the scary man who isn't scary from home alone. Oh, with the shovel. Oh, with the shovel. We're recording this the day after Chinese New Year.

Do you know what you are? I just moved on for my dreams so quickly. You really did. I didn't like that. Also, what am I? Yeah, what are you? Chinese New Year was yesterday. What are you?

In what regard? Like, what year was I born? Like, what do you mean? I'm a tiger. Each and so I believe each year of Chinese culture is assigned an animal. We were both born in the year of the tiger. So deeply upsetting that I was like, you were born in a different. Why do you think it was different?

I don't know we're the same age. my God. The brain I live in is exhausted. Well, we're both tigers. Yes. This is going to be a good year for us. Oh, yes? Yes.

Great. I'm glad. I cannot give you any specifics because I read it yesterday. It's out. But you've got the important parts, which are that it's going to be a good year. It's going to be a very good year. I'm glad. I can't believe how much I didn't like the answer about my my dream that I was like, we'll never talk about that again.

Truly. There was another part that was... Good? Yeah, depending on how you react to the scary guy, if you're trying to stop them or if you feel helpless, that can mean two different things. I don't feel helpless, but I just go, well, all right, he doesn't want to leave. Okay, then you are... Okay, it doesn't have anything for that one.

That's like... I mean, it kind of feels helpless because you're not like trying. You've given up. Like you're like submitting to what's happening. Okay. Yeah. So I'm helpless. It says then that reflects anxiety or powerlessness over a situation.

I don't like that either. This is terrible. I mean, there probably wasn't going to be a good reason why you're having a dream about someone breaking into your house and taking over and trying to kill you. I was hoping and be like, gifts are coming. Good fortune. Someone's going to break it and leave you some treats. But people who are born in the Year of Tyker have personalities rooted in courage, strength, ambition, and really positive energy. Yeah, that's us.

This is going to be our year. Great. Can you see why the Year of the Horse is a good year for people born in the Year of the Tiger? Yeah. Yeah, that way. I don't have to remember anything. She's a fingerprint, princess. I really am.

Okay, so the year of the horse is excellent for those born in the year of the tiger because the two signs share a natural, highly supportive resonance, creating a high octane year for growth, career advancement, and increased wealth. As a fire year, it provides momentum for the wood-based tiker, while their similar, bold, independent, and action-oriented personalities allow tigers to seize opportunities and lead effectively. I like that. Right? Isn't that fun?

Wealth. Support. I wonder what your girlfriend is. The nice man's a horse. 83? What? No, 89. I was like 83. No, 89.

Year of the snake. Okay. We just had a year. Last year was the year of snake, which was like about shedding and stuff like that. The year of the snake, 20,000. 2025 symbolized wisdom, transformation, intelligence, and introspection. It was a time for shedding old habits, strategic planning, and focusing on internal growth rather than outward action.

Ooh. Okay. I love Chinese New Year. Yeah? There's so many rules. You're not supposed to wash your hair, take out the trash, give people money, go to your parents' house if you're married. Oh, wow.

That's a very specific rule. Isn't it funny that that's what I were taking? Yeah. I was like, good fortune. Don't know anything else. Well, you love rules. I do love rules. And I was like reading about the Year of the Tiger.

One of the things I retained was it literally was like, chill out about your rules. Like just let things happen. I was like, oh my God, this is annoying. Everywhere I go, people are like, stop being so rigid. And you're like, no. I love rules. Yeah. Oh, well.

It'll happen when it happens. Hey, thank you. I appreciate that. Thank you for giving me the space and the grace. I'm here to give you the space and the grace. Yes. Okay. Are you in town next week?

Nope. Dang. I got to see you send help. Oh, yeah. Maybe we won't... We're in Chicago. Okay. During the day?

Okay. Yeah. Then we got to plan our romantic getaway. Yes, the New York trip is going to happen. It's going to happen. The New York, New Jersey extravagance from the Poconos to the big city. And everything in the middle, Middletown, New Jersey. I'm coming for you, Middletown, and I'll get my spicy chicken.

I have to figure out how to get it. Yeah. The French fries were also pretty good. I'm going to be so upset if I do get this spicy chicken and it's not as delicious as I remember, which is like with the toaster strudel. You're like, I don't know if I'd like that. Yeah, that's why I want to try. I want to have a nice memory.

If I try, I'm like, my childhood was a lie. I had bad judgment back then. I don't want my whole schooling to be a lie. It probably is still good. I think so. People were writing in saying they were good, right? Yeah. Oh, did I tell you that someone told me what the cookies were?

No. Otis Spunkmeier. Oh, that's a good brand. You know her. Yeah, it was at my school, too. Every school has Otis Spunkmire? That's just two schools. I don't know.

Wait, every school in America has Otis Spunkmire? It must be every school. That's crazy. Allie, did you have Otis Spunkmire? No, I've never heard of it. Every school? Even Allie school had it and she just wasn't informed?

What a funny name. It's very funny. I wonder if, like, famous Amos, if there was an Otis. Oh. That took me a while, I understand. So there actually was an Amos? Yeah, he was a black man. Oh, nice.

I think, Ali, hit it. So, no, Otis Spunkmeyer is not a real person. The brand name was created by the 12-year-old daughter of the founder, Kenneth B. Rawlings, who established a cookie in Oakland, California in 1977. The whimsical name was created by combining Otis Sistrunk with Orville Reddenbacher. I don't see that. I don't see that. I don't see that whatsoever.

No. And then was famous Amos a black man? Sometimes I'd be saying stuff that's wise. Yes. Wallace Wally Amos Jr. was black. He was a pioneering black entrepreneur and former talent agent who launched his famous cookie a brand in 1975. I love that. Oh, the 70s was a big time for cookies.

Yeah. I just bunk my host. 77. Mrs. Fields, will you tell me what your she's? 77. Whoa. The cookie boom. It really was a cookie boom.

That's wild. Yeah. Somebody better get up in that and give me a full book report about it. Give me a book report. Well, I want to know if there's more than three brands that were created. Whoa. I like that. That's wild.

The 70s was all about drugs and love and cookies. Yes. I'm going to time travel, that's where I'm going. To the 70s? 1977, let me get them cookies. Yeah. And they're like, you need a little snack while you're high. Just a little something sweet to buy on.

Like, you've been tearing it up on the disco floor. You've been tearing it up on the disco floor. Have a little sweet treat. Have a little sweet treat. Oh, these olders, punk mires, are out of sight. Let's answer questions. Let's answer questions. Okay, this says from Lindsay.

Hi, I have a super important question for Nicole. Can you please explain how car brands can sell the same model of a car for years but drastically change what the car looks like? For example, a Ford Mustang from the 60s looks wildly different than a Mustang made today. Why is it even still called a Mustang if it looks like such a different car? Is it just an advertising thing? At what point is a Mustang no longer a Mustang? Ah, I've been thinking about this for years.

Please help. Thank you. You're all the best and I love the podcast. Unfortunately, I simply don't. know the answer, but I will say, I do think the electric Mustang is only a Mustang and name and speed, but to me that's not a Mustang. I, if I were to make an educated guess, I would assume that car brands are just revamping models for the time.

Mm-hmm. Like a 60s Mustang looks like a 60s car. It looks like a, ooh, I can't think of the name of it. It looks like a charger. It looks like other 60s muscle cars. And then the 80s, it looks like like a caprice. Like it looks like other 80s cars. Yeah.

And then the 90s, they look like a Pontiac Thunderbird. They all like have the same. They all share the same DNA of the time period. That's what I think. Yeah. They probably also, it's probably brand recognition too. Yes. We were like, oh, yeah.

Yeah, I know what a Mustang is. I know what a Mustang is. I know what a Bronco is. My dad had this thing. So it's like, even if it looks different, you know, like, the name of it. You're like, I'm familiar with this. So I'll get it. I think so, too.

Like the Jeep Wagoner came back and an old Wagoner is a big, sturdy, chunky car. And then what they brought back is a big, sturdy, chunky. It's huge. Oh, wow. So I think, yeah, I think it's brand recognition. and then like the Bronco came back. That's a big, strong car. I do wish they leaned into a little bit of the classic,

I think it's 62 to 76. That is like they're like the most popular model of that car. I wish they dipped a little bit into it, but they didn't. But yeah, that's my educated guess. Solved. Solved. Hi, Nicole and Sashir. Reaching out with a friendship query.

My dad died pretty unexpectedly a few months ago. and while some of my friends have been incredible and supportive, some of them have not been showing up in the ways that I really expected them to. One friend in particular was really there for me a couple of years ago when I went through a breakup, but since my dad died, he keeps canceling plans. After he canceled multiple times, I kind of gave up trying and he hasn't reached out since. Is it worth it trying to rekindle the friendship? It makes me really sad. Why are people so weird about death? For context, I'm also in my 20s and most of my friend's parents haven't died yet, if that makes it.

difference. Any advice would be so appreciated. Loved seeing Nicole at the Wilbur and sadly was so ill that I missed this year's show at Laugh-Boston in 2022. Very grateful to both of y'all's effervescence during some hard times. I love that four years ago. Yes. I couldn't see you. Can never forget about it. Never forget. Death is weird for people who haven't experienced it. Yeah. Like I remember one of my first stand-up jokes was about my dead parents that, like, went over poorly. People were like, ugh.

And it was like, nobody could really relate in the audience because they were, like, in their 20s and still had parents. I think if this friendship is worth it, I think it's worth explaining that, you know, I miss you. If you find it hard to support me in this time, I just, like, would love to hang out. Like, I don't, you don't have to, like, listen to me. I don't know. I think it's worth saying, I miss you.

you, I like this friendship. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. And maybe, I don't, you know, I don't know how you're communicating with this friend, but sometimes, even aside from death, you'll realize certain friends are good for certain things. And you can put them in different categories in your brain where like, okay, this person's great for like, light fun hangs or brunch. This person's great for partying or, like,

going out at night. This friend's good for funerals. This is my funeral friend. Or like this person I can get deep with. Yes. And some people don't have that capacity. Also like, yeah, your friends in your 20s probably haven't had anyone close to them pass yet.

But they will. But even like there's people in their 30s that who also don't like have the capacity or just don't know how. to talk about it or approach it or they get uncomfortable or whatever. Like it, you just don't know. Some people just can't handle like that kind of stuff. So you could have a talk and be like, I would like you in my life still or like, yeah, I want to hang out with you and maybe ask like, is there a reason they've been pulling away?

And if there isn't or if you don't feel comfortable, have that conversation, you could just hang out with them in different ways. It's like, okay, I think maybe they're not like, able to meet me at this place. Because also, like, you don't want to share that part of you to people who cannot hold that space for you. Yeah. Because that's also unsatisfying for you.

So if you have found, hopefully you have found people in your life who you can talk to about your dad or, like, loss. And they'll, even if they don't understand, they can at least, like, allow you to, have that space and grieve, but you can't get that out of people who don't want to give it. Yeah, I agree. I also think therapy is a very useful tool when you lose somebody because I don't think it's fair to dump all of your sadness onto somebody or only depend on friends because it's like,

yes, they're here to support, but also like a professional can really support. you and help you through it. Yeah, like, I remember when my mom died, like, one of her adult friends said to me a child, yeah, I'm not going to go to the funeral. The funeral is just like, not my thing. And I was like, not your thing. You think it's my thing? I'm 16.

Truly. What are you talking? So, yes. This is your friend. Yes. And it was really interesting to find, like, adults who couldn't, like, deal with things. And when my dad died, it was like the same, like, kind of the same thing. Like, adults would be like, oh, no.

you know, if you need anything, let me know. Then when you do tell them you need something, they're like, oh, this is a bad day for me. And you're like, you actually didn't mean that. Yeah. And you can't take it personally. You just have to go, all right, that's not the person who's here to help me. Somebody else can help me. Yeah.

But it is hard. It's hard to figure out who those people are in your life. Yeah. And I would imagine there's also like group therapy sessions or like different groups. There probably is like a young. adult like children of parents who have passed kind of group where you can

talk to people who have the same kind of experience and that would probably be a lot more satisfying than talking to your friends who... Who don't have that experience. And maybe you'll make friends there too. Who knows? But like it might feel more satisfying to share with people who get it

and hear stories from people who are experiencing this too. And that, you know, hopefully you can have all of it. You can get support from your friends, also get support from other people who hopefully have a better perspective on it. Hell yeah, dude. Solved. Solved.

Let's do one more, dude. Hell yeah. Okay, this is called Help Me Understand My Friend. Hi, Nicole and Sashir. My name is Stanley and I'm 21. I have a friend who will call Megan. Something that you should know about Megan is she's a little difficult to talk to and is stubborn with her opinions. She always has to be right and she likes to stick to her own opinions and thoughts.

She speaks her mind and doesn't seem to care about others' feelings with what she has to say. In other words, if you were to tell her your body hurts, she'll be the type to tell you that pain is in your head and to grow up. If you try to explain yourself, she will say you're making excuses. Although sometimes she's just telling it as it is, it can be very annoying and ruin the vibe. Megan can definitely be fun to hang out with, but when it comes to texting her, it's hard to read her tone because she barely uses emojis. And I can't tell if she's upset from what I said or what the emotional tone of the text is. Her responses usually seem to come out mean or dry, but according to her, aren't. We barely had time to hang out because I moved away and we don't text as much anymore.

I try to text her to see if she wants to hang out, but she always leaves me on red or barely replies with anything. How would you guys deal with a friend who is stubborn and hard-headed? Or even with a friend who thinks they are superior than everyone, your advice would be much appreciated. I mean, with the texting, that just is hard because people. We'll text differently and you can't tell. I thought your text used to be pretty harsh because you would use periods all the time. And I'm not the only one who thought that. Everyone thought that.

I was like, that's just good grammar. Like, yes, period. They're like, what did I do? It's just good grammar. Yes, but in text messaging, that's like a less formal format. Yes. Yeah. You weren't the only one.

Yeah. Which I guess they've maybe talked about it. And the friend was like, no, that's just how I text or whatever. I guess just don't take it personally. Yeah. I also think the like the communication dying down a little bit because they moved away might just be a blessing in disguise. This person might not need to be in your life. What is it?

People are in your life for a season for a reason. So I don't know. Maybe the season's done. Yeah. Especially if you feel frustrated by them. I think it's a good, a good. thing to like take stock, like, be like, why am I friends with this person? Yeah. What are the good things they add to my life? Do I need to continue being friends with this person? And if there

aren't enough reasons, then I think you could let it fizzle out. Yeah. And some people aren't good at maintaining that same level of friendship that you had when you leave town. Like, if you're no longer in front of them and available to them as easily as you used to be. Not that they like don't want to be your friend or like can't, but it just is different. They're like, I can't stop by and see you or like we can't go to the movies together. So like to them, it might not be a conscious thing. It would be like, oh, I just don't know what to talk to you about. So for them, for Megan, it might be harder to reach out or respond.

because they're like, well, we don't hang out anymore. What are we going to talk about? What are we going to talk about? And also maybe like it feels like if we do talk, it has to be a catch-up. Mm-hmm. And maybe they don't have the time for that or the energy for that. Yeah. I think if you want to remain friends, you can ask how does a long-distance friendship work for you?

Mm-hmm. I don't know. I think let it go. Does it sound like Megan's a lot. A little tough. Yeah. And if she on her own is already like kind of receding. Yeah.

If I said my body hurts and someone said it's in your brain, I'd be like, ma'am, my body, if I fell down in front of them, they're like, it's in your brain. I'd be so mad. Mind over matter. Mind over matter. Get up. Get up. Yeah.

And also just sounds like this person's young. So. Yeah. Which I guess the way they learn is by people saying, hey. you can validate my experience. Mm-hmm. But it all depends if you want to do that or not. You're not responsible for this person learning.

Yeah. So... Well? Well? Should we do another, or is that it? Let's do one more. Let's do one more. First, I want to say that you were the most hilarious, beautiful, and stylish women on earth.

Thank you for this wonderful podcast. Second, I'll get into my query. I've been feeling distant from my friend D for a few years. She says she loves me and calls me her sister and best friend. She frequently says yes to my invitations to spend time together, but rarely actually shows up. She almost always ends up texting me with last minute excuses for why she isn't coming. I understand that things come up,

but after this happened consistently for a couple years, I mostly stopped extending those regular invites to protect myself and my feelings. I found that if I didn't reach out, we rarely spoke. making things worse, I often run into Dee at her mutual friends events or see photos of her out with other friends on Instagram. The reason I've chosen to distance myself, instead of talk to Dee about my feelings, is that she's confided to me in the past about experiencing depression that causes her to want to stay at home. I've told her that I'm always there for her in those times. Also, she may be experiencing financial hardship as she has asked me to borrow a few hundred dollars

here and there. She's always paid me back, except for the most recent time when she said she'd pay me back the following week, but I haven't heard from her about that again. I recently decided to try again with Dee. I had several extra tickets to an NFL game, which Dee and I attended together in the past. I invited her and her partner to attend with some of our mutual friends and me. I let her know that I was bringing a cooler with drinks and food for everyone to share, so she'd know there were no costs involved without me mentioning money. I let her know that I'd love to see her and had miss spending time with her. Dee gave me an emphatic yes and said things like, I can't wait to see you. I need sister time and I can't wait to hug my best friend. Fast forward to game day, she texted me early

in the morning to say her partner wasn't feeling well and they weren't coming. I was beyond hurt and couldn't understand why she didn't just come without him as we've done many times before. I was very upset and didn't want to say anything that I would regret, so I chose to just text back okay in that moment. I haven't really spoken to Dee since this occurred. I'm torn about whether or not I should talk to her about how I'm feeling. I feel bad having an uncomfortable conversation about her not showing up when she's confided in me about her depression. On the other hand, I feel sad that she doesn't seem to want to spend time with me, and I'm just

the person she texts when she needs to borrow money. Do you think I should initiate a conversation about this, or do you think I should continue setting boundaries and bring it up eventually if the time is right? Thank you. I think have a conversation. Maybe D I think D is behaving poorly But also I think maybe D finds comfort

In this friendship And it's like I can come to this person When I'm down I also tell them that like I think it's easy for maybe D to cancel Because they've confided That they suffer from depression And it's hard to go out

So it's like you are the person I can cancel on Because you know I get sad Yeah But that being said That's not fair to our friend who's writing in. But maybe it's like, hey, maybe you don't invite Dee to outdoor things. Maybe it's like movie hangs inside where she doesn't, or Dee doesn't have to feel pressure to go out.

I don't know. This one's tough. It's tough, yeah, because I was like, sounds like the person who wrote in and is doing a really good job of, like, trying to figure out ways where Dee can hang out. That's, like, low pressure. You don't have to pay money. there will be other people so it's not necessarily like a one-on-one we're getting dinner and downloading. Like, yeah, I, in my old age, I'm kind of over trying to convince people to hang out with me. Like, either you want it or you don't.

And I'm not in the business of like, like, trying to, like, begging to, like, be in places I'm not wanted. So, yeah. But not that this is what the writer is doing. But, like, if D's continuously bailing, that would make me feel like you probably don't want to hang out right now. And maybe it doesn't mean forever. And it may not have anything to do with this person at all. Like, it could be like, I mean, you and I have talked about people in our lives who used to be in our lives a lot and are currently not. And, like, being like, what's going on?

Did we do something? And it's like, maybe we remind them of something they all one thing about. Or like maybe we represent something that we don't even know what that could be. But they're like, I just don't want to be around this right now. And that's okay. Like we don't have to force it. Like, who knows what the thing is. But I don't longer try to investigate.

I'm just kind of like, you told me with your actions how you feel. So I'm here if you want to hang. If you don't want to hang, I'm, I'll. Leave it to you. Yes. To be the one to initiate because I have obviously initiated a bunch and you know I want to hang out. So, yeah. I think that is one way to do it.

I also do kind of feel like Dee's using our friend. The fact that she's asked for money. For money. And not paying it back. And then like not hanging out and canceling. Like that all sucks. Yeah. I think that warrants a conversation that's like, so you're asking me for money.

I know you've been depressed. I keep inviting you to things. you could have came to the football game alone. These are my grievances. How do you feel? Yeah. I don't know. This D.

Yeah. Something's fishy about D. Something's fishy about D. Mm, something's stanking with D. What is it? There's a rotten fish in Denmark. It's a Shakespearean quote, and I think it's wrong. Something's rotten in Denmark.

There's a rotten fish in Denmark. There's one rotten fish in Denmark. And it's stinking up that friendship. Ooh, the mind is wild. Solved. If you have any questions or queries, we got a phone number. 323-23-8-6554. We also have an email.

It's Nicole and Sashir at gmail.com. Mm-hmm. Well, Sashir, this has been fun. This has been fun. I hope we do it again someday. I have a feeling we will. Goodbye. Goodbye.

Best Friends is a production of Headgun, studios. Our producer is Ali Khan. Our executive producers, Anya Kanofskaya. The show is edited, mixed, and engineered by Rochelle Chet. That was a hate gum podcast.