Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Nicole is Loving the Olympics!

Episode Date: August 14, 2024

Nicole sprained her groin because of pole dancing. Nicole wants to know why there are no more fun couches. Sasheer thinks people just like more neutral colors. Sasheer and Nicole love to decorate so they don’t understand the move against fun furniture. They discuss their childhood home décor aesthetic and they get into some car talk. Nicole’s car was Sam Champion and Sasheer’s first car was Hot Cakes. Nicole's first car was a Mitsubishi Mirage and Sasheer’s first car was a Mazda Protegé. Also, Nicole and Sasheer are going to Subiefest, California’s largest Subaru enthusiast festival. Also, they recap their time at the Missy Elliott concert and share their favorite moments at the Olympics. Plus, they answer your listener letters about reconnecting with a friend after a falling out and how to get a protective best friend to be civil with an ex while co-parenting.   Sources: 1988 Honda Accord: https://hondanews.com/en-US/honda-automobiles/photos/photo-4593b3ce6ab25e9103f193004c35505a-1988-honda-accord-lx-sedan?firstResultIndex=40&channelsConstraint=channel-3033 Subiefest: https://www.subiefest.com/california/  No BuzzFeed quiz this week.   Email or call Nicole & Sasheer with your friendship questions at:[e-mail] Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link https://siriusxm.com/friends and code FRIENDS.

Hi, Nicole! Hi, Sashir! How are you? Oh, I'm having a tough time. Oh. Pulled my groin. Oh, Lord. I know.

My goodness. Can you even? Not even doing anything freaky. Oh. I just didn't warm up properly before doing some pole stuff. Oh, I see. Yeah. Damn.

Yeah, I did a split without warming up first, like a drop split. And I was like, ooh, that's a little uncomfortable. And I could still walk around. And then I used a Theragun that night. Yeah. gun that night yeah and then woke up and I took some Advil and I was like oh not so bad but then when I got home after sitting on a plane and then not theragunning I was like oh this is actually pretty tough yeah um and then I pulled again at my house because I was like in the zone um and I figured out some stuff um I was like really excited about it I was like oh my god this is like getting a little easier yeah um I learned how to do the I mean really excited about it. I was like, oh my god, this is getting a little easier. I learned how to do the... I mean, I can do it, but my shoulder flexibility sometimes goes in

and out, but it's the thing where you're on spin and you do a pull sit, and then you put this arm on the pull, and then you loop through. I got that, and I was so excited. I was like, I might as well go upside through. Oh, yes. Yeah. And I, like, got that and I was, like, so excited. And I was like, I might as well go upside down.

And then I went upside down and I don't know what I did upside down, but I got it. And then I was like, okay, hook this leg. And then the leg was like, oh, bitch, it's already pulled. You want to pull it some more? And then I was like, ooh, it hurt. Oh, God. Be careful. I know. I just want it hurt. Oh, God. Be careful.

I know. I just want to be a master pollster. Yeah. Master pollster. I just want to be like strong and hot and slam my pussy into the ground. Yeah. Yeah, but I guess I should just be careful and stretch first. Definitely stretch first and after.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you could still be a master polster and not hurt yourself. It sounds like we're saying I want to be a master upholster. And I'm like, give me that couch. Let me just upholst that couch. Okay, listen, we have strayed so far from God.

Have we talked about it on this show? Why are all couches singular boring fucking colors yeah not not all couches hashtag not all couches wow sashir wow hands up don't shoot Okay, listen. Most, okay, so like, you know my purple chair in my living room? Yes. That big purple chair? Yeah. That color was discontinued by Joy Bird. That sucks.

No purple couch for anybody. No purple couch for anybody? No purple couch for anybody anymore. Yeah. Why are we, why? Was not enough people buying the purple eggplant couch? Probably not. Tell them about it.

Tell them you have purple couches. But the thing is, I think people don't have tastes like that. Most people want bland. A lot of people do want fun stuff, but I think for big purchases or a big couch, or I don't know, a chair like tables they're like let that be plain and then like decorate around it that is unacceptable that makes me so upset yeah like how are you decorating around a gray couch?

How are you decorating around, like, I don't know, like a blue couch? Like, I don't, I think like,

not that many people like having choices. So they're like, I, I have seen a gray couch before. That seems very neutral

and good. And that'll be in my living room. Oh, God. You know, I don't think they're like, you know what would be fun? Like, I don't know. Some people don't think decorating is fun, which is wild to me. I just got so upset. You got very upset?

I really just. Your face fell? It really did. I was like, oh, my God. I just, I love decorating and I love doing stuff. Yeah. I did have a gray couch at one point. When I lived with John Milhiser, John Milhiser was my roommate.

My roommate, John Milhiser, we went to the basement of Macy's and got like a dark slate gray couch. But I, my, what's it called when you get something? When you're like, like oh I'll do this if I can have this a condition or when you compromise yes we compromise and I had a bright

pink hot pink chair so that was like our compromise we had like a normal couch a hot pink chair and then like fun green coffee table or whatever. But I just, like, I don't know. It really bums me out that, like, you can't get a colorful, fun couch. I have, like, a little hot pink couch.

That color is discontinued. Damn. I buy it, and they say, no more. That's the one we had. It's so wild to me. Yeah. And I went to a bunch of thrift stores last weekend and I was like, wait, you can get some fun shit at the thrift. Oh, absolutely.

And I don't know why more people aren't doing it. Yeah. And I went to, I think it's called Thrifty Shopper or Thrifty Shop or something like that. thrifty shopper or thrifty shop or something like that. So sure. I walked around and I was like, I have furnished, I furnished a little studio apartment.

Yeah. If I were to move here, I, this couch is great. These paintings are great. I found an entire dish set that I was going to send to myself, but I was like, the shipping would be more than the set.

I also don't need the set. Yeah. And then I'd have to like give away the set that I have to make room for this one. And I was like the shipping would be more than the set I also don't need the set yeah and then I'd have to like give away the set that I have to make room for this one and I was like let's be normal yeah um but it was just so fun yeah I furnished most of my home through estate sales I just like went every weekend for like a couple months and I was like need that need that need that need that it's just so it's cool and you have like real furniture it's all like good wood furniture yeah I just I mean I'm not in a stale estate estate sale gal estate sale it's hard for me estate sale there we go very bright estate sale um i i'm more of like a etsy chair like sit at home girl on my phone i

see i see um because there's the danger of leaving your house and not finding something. Yeah. But with Estatesales.net, you can scroll and see what they have at those places before you even get there. Oh, at Estatesales.net, they make it so easy for you. You'd think this was an ad, but it's not. It's not at all. Estatesales.net has nothing to do with us and has never reached out. But Estatesales.net is so easy and fun yeah i yeah i sometimes i'll go into like a friend's home and i'm like you chose this yeah yeah it's not everyone's passion like ours i guess not but i'm like in the 90s i feel like

everyone had like a like a printed couch or something. Maybe. I guess. But I think, like, yeah, the modern look now is, like, just grays and, like, black, white. Just, like, rigid colors. And no fun. No fun. Yeah.

It just really bums me the fuck out, dude. Mm-hmm. How do we get people to have fun again? I don't know. Did your house growing up, did you have colors and fun? No. No? Really?

I mean, a little bit, actually. My parents, my dad was in the military, and so we bounced around a bunch. And they spent a lot of time in Japan. And so we did have some, like, fans and, like, room dividers and, like, pictures that had, like, Japanese stuff on it. And that was very cool. That was the coolest stuff that can remember okay yeah my mom for whatever reason was like beige pink and blue that is the color palette of this home which is it looked like thinking of like just thinking back i'm like so i grew up in a house

that truly looked like a baby shower 24-7. We had a pink kitchen, a pink dining room. I believe the living room, the front formal living room was a blue shade. And then we had a blue couch, chair, love seat that was blue with flowers on it. And then there was her coffee table that was glass and we weren't allowed to be in there. And then the family room had a tannish couch with like pink flowers on it.

There was a blue accent wall. And then the bathroom had beige, blue, and pink flowers wallpapered because the powder rooms where you get to show off. Oh, yes. Talking about my house growing up, I'm like, yeah, I am my mother's child. It makes a lot of sense. It really does.

Yeah. And then in my room, my mom was like, what colors do you want? And I was like, light purple, dark purple, and medium purple. And she was like, I'll figure that out. So I had a dark purple border, light purple, a middle border dark purple, medium purple, and then the trim, the baseboard was dark purple. That sounds really pretty. I fucking loved it. And then I had my purple bedspread, and then I had my white oak furniture.

And my queen size bed. And my sister had her twin because they didn't. So they were told they weren't going to have any more kids. And then Catherine was sleeping on the queen bed. And then they got her a twin bed. And then they moved the queen bed into the guest room. And guess who? The guest came and she never left.

And then they just never got me a different bed. And so I lived on a queen bed she lived on a twin bed that i subsequently broke by jumping on and then it stayed broken i came like i came in like a wrecking ball and ruined her life that's very funny um and then her room was blue shades of blue and then my parents room was blue and then we had i think wallpaper or the bathroom upstairs was also pink. Oh, well, this makes so much sense as to why you wouldn't want to decorate every corner of your house. Yes!

I fully remember white walls. I don't, my room did not have painted walls. And I had like a comforter that was white with purple flowers on it. Ooh. So there was like some color. But yeah, I don't remember. And maybe it was because we were moving so often that we were like, if we paint something, we're going to paint it back.

Who cares? So we just didn't. I see. Yeah. Which also probably explains why I still don't paint anything. You've got some accent walls. Because they were left there from the previous owner. That is funny.

Actually, no. I do have one, like, turquoise blue color in my room. And the rest are white walls. Because the previous owner had a full pink room. Yes. And I was like, oh, I don't want that. And then I changed it to white walls. And one splash of color.

One little splash of color. Yeah, every inch of my place is a color. And wallpaper. Some rooms have two wallpapers. Wow. Yeah. I just, I, it makes me smile when I, like, look around and see all the color I've added to my place. And it's funny because my apartment in New York was not colorful.

That was white walls because we watched one of my roommates paint her walls red. And she needed a primer. And she didn't have a primer. And it was an interesting job she did. So then when she painted it back, we were like, you can still see the red. And it was bad. And I was like, oh, I don't want to go through that. So I just put a lot of like photos and stuff up.

And then in that apartment, we had two little nasty futons. And then when I finally got some money, I finally saved $150 to go pick up a purple couch. Since I was like, well, I'll get the couch. I was like, I'll pay for it, whatever. Can we all decide? Do we want this purple couch? They were like, yes. We went and picked it up.

I was so proud of this purple couch. And then my roommate at the time, no, Evan wasn't even living with me. Evan sat on it and broke it. Like the second day we had it, he sat on the back of it and broke it. I was so mad. I was like, I'll never have anything nice. But also, that wasn't nice. No, you're right.

It absolutely wasn't. It's meant for sitting. Yeah. Yeah. He should have been able to sit on it. Well, on the back of it. So like this part. Yeah.

Even still. You think that should have stood? That should have stood? Sust have stood sustained yes a full-size man yes i guess you're right kids jump on couches yeah you're right kids crawl on the on the back of it absolutely right i've also leaned on the back of a couch like yeah you're right they just hold body weight. Yeah, there was a reason why it was $150. And then we bought it. We moved uptown, and then we got this couch. Again, I think it was like $150 or like $500 from like a store.

I think it was an Inwood. And we were so proud of this couch, and then it immediately broke. Damn. That sucks. Yeah. That was a nasty little couch. It was like a chocolate brown faux leather and faux suede. It was nasty.

Ugh. Ugh. Those were the days. Those were the days. Scrapping money together to buy nasty little couches. I still have a mirror in my house that I found on the street in New York. Really? Yeah.

I love that. Yeah. Do I have anything from New York? No. Wait, how'd you get a mirror from New York to here? Shift? Yeah. I mean, when I moved from New York to L.A., I had a moving company move all my stuff.

Oh, you had things. New York to LA, I had a moving company move all my stuff. Oh, you had things. Yeah, I guess so. I did not have things when I moved to LA. Because that nasty little couch that stayed with my roommates, my bed went to the girl who took over my room, My, uh, mirrored closet thing went to the girl. And then I was like, I don't need, I don't, I'll just take my clothes. Yeah.

So that's why I bought a car instead of shipping anything and then packed my cars as much as it could. And then picked up my sister and drove across the country. Wow. Yeah. I miss that little car. Yeah. Sam Champion. That was the name of that car. my sister and drove across the country wow yeah i miss that little car yeah sam champion that was the name of that car is it is that that's a weatherman abc news oh do you you don't name your cars do you uh-uh it's so wild to me well actually

i often i i have my first car was hot cakescakes because the color was like maple syrup. And then I don't think I named my second car. Was your first car a Volvo? No, it was a Mazda Protege. Oh, really? Did you ever drive a Volvo? No. Huh.

Next, I drove a Honda Accord. Huh. A 1988 Honda Accord. Can we look up a 1988 Honda Accord? I think that's Accord. Huh. A 1988 Honda Accord. Can we look up a 1988 Honda Accord? I think that's the boxy one. It was, yeah, it was pretty like, it was pretty boxy. It was like burgundy. Ooh.

Did it have the automatic seatbelt? The protege did. The Accord did not. Ooh, that's nice to sheer. That's what it was. I fucking, I wish you still had that car. I do too. It's a sick looking car.

Yeah. Ugh, that's nice. I think actually we had a Honda Accord like that. Oh, nice. When I was little, before we got our minivan. What did you have after the Accord? After the Accord, nothing for a long time because I just was in New York to get a car.

And then when I moved to L.A., I guess the first car, like real car I bought that wasn't like secondhand or passed down to me was my Tesla. And I call it Tesla Hirsch after our friend Tesla Hirsch. Which is very, very funny. My first car was a Mitsubishi Mirage. It was a four-door, black. It was owned by a little old lady. It had zero miles, like no miles on it. And I remember once the alarm system didn't work

and it was just going off as I was driving it. And it didn't stop me from taking friends around. Like I was driving friends around and my car was like, and I'd like get to lights and people would be like your alarm and I'd be like what oh my god like pretending that I couldn't hear it what do you mean what do you mean that's music that's funny I love this song um and that was putt-putt Because if I went too fast up a hill, it would go. And then after Putt-Putt was Sam Champion. That was my two-door Honda Civic. And that was my first foray into two-door cars.

Because people don't ask you to drive anywhere when you have two doors. And then after that, I had my little BMW. And I don't think BMW had a name. I think it was just B-M-W. Yeah. BMW and I don't think BMW had a name. I think it was just B-M-W. BMW got me pulled over so much.

Yeah. Because I guess it was a black woman driving a BMW with no plates. That's really funny. Yeah, I had dealer plates on for four years. I do remember this. And every time I was pulled over, they were like, why don't you have the plates on? And I was like, because I would have to do it. This is also reminding me to put my new tags on my car. I've never done that before.

I have never put those little stickers on my car. Never, ever. What's the point? What are we doing? Also, I have, okay, so then my jeep jeep jeep beep that's that was jeep's name jeep beep uh-huh and then this one is the same jeep different lease newer model is jeep beep beep beep jeep jeep beep beep beep um and i need to put plates on it because it looks like someone has eaten my paper plates. I'll show you when we leave.

It looks like someone has just been like... And I have the plates in my car. I have them. We just gotta have somebody put them on for you. Yeah, and I mean, I can do it. I know exactly how to do it. It's so easy. But you won't do it.

Screws. We'll just ask somebody else to do it. I know, but who am I going to ask? Who? Who will come over? Who? I can help you. Every day I leave my house, I go, you have a screwdriver in a drawer. If you just walk over and get it, you don't even have to do it when you leave.

You can do it when you come back. Yeah.'t done it still haven't brought it down damn and okay i don't so i have a leopard print interior yes i guess a leopard steering wheel cover leopard print seat covers i cannot figure out how i did the back seats in my old car and i can't figure out them in i did them in the in the old car i cannot figure out how I did the back seats in my old car and I can't figure out them in I did them in the old car I cannot figure them out in the new one oh no so they're just bundled up and like kind of

oh no haphazardly draped are they too small for the seats? I don't know I simply can't figure out where they go damn I'm sorry and I'm like really kind of bummed about it because I love looking back and being like, wow, so much

leopard. How often are you looking in the backseat? All the time I'm looking in my backseat going, wow, so much leopard. But also, Amazon did not send me enough headrests. Headrest covers. Oh, weird. They only sent three. Three? Isn't that wild? That is weird.

Yeah. What car has three headrests? Don't make no sense. They're driving a tricycle? No. A car. That didn't really work out. Are you okay? Yeah. The glue from my eyelash got stuck, so then my eyelid got stuck up, and I was like, oh, no, I look crazy.

I'm glad it worked out. Thank you, Sasheer. got stuck up and I was like oh no I look crazy thank you Sashir you're gonna take me to a Subaru fest I am gonna take you to a Subaru fest we didn't talk about it in the no uh uh yeah so we're going to Subi to a Subaru Fest. We didn't talk about it in the... No. Yeah, so we're going to Subi Fest. Subi Fest.

Which I had a Subaru. I didn't list it because it was more my ex's car than my car. But I also have had a Subaru. You drove around the Subi. Yeah. It's a dry event, which I was like, what? Why does that need to be? Why does it have to be a dry event? Like, are people driving the cars?

I guess. Since you're, I have no idea what's happening at SubiFest. Great. I didn't do any sort of research. Great. All I know is I bought my tickets in advance, even though you can get them for the same price at the door. I was just like, it might get sold out. And nobody we're going with thinks it's going to be sold out.

And they sent me an email being like, we're looking for volunteers. And I was like, oh, not me. I hope you figure out. Yeah, I hope you have enough people there. But I guess, oh, my God, maybe there's a Subaru parade. Oh, wow. Thousands of Subarus and Subaru enthusiasts. All Subaru autocross.

All Subaru car show. Huge vendor section. Killer deals. Tons of music. Is that what it said? No. Miscellaneous. Tons of... No, they don't have music. Tons of miscellaneous fun and activities for the whole family. That's so

funny. Wait, also it says whole fam damly? Whole fam damley. Tons of myths, fun, and activities for whole fam damley. They're getting wacky here. That's why there's no alcohol at Subie Fest. They're too wacky. They're wacky and drunk on Subies. I like that.

The best part about this is it started off as a bit between John and his partner. And it really, I'm so excited. I'm excited now. I have no idea what's happening at SubiFest. I have no idea what to expect. Yeah. But I went to the auto show two years ago and had the time of my fucking life. Yeah.

Like, was so elated. But that was like different cars. This is just Subarus. And Subaru, I think, has like five models. Also, it's so funny. Well, I won't get into his business. The model he has is not the most exciting one, and it's really funny to me.

Wait, does he have a Subaru? Yeah, that's where we're going. Oh, okay. I did not. I was like, no one has a Subaru. We're just going to SubiFest. So yeah, we've got Subarus in the fam that you didn't know about. In the fam-damley.

In the fam-damley. Wait, we never talked about going to see Missy Elliott. Oh. Did we not? I don't think so. Nope, not yet. No. Whoa.

So, we've had a summer of fun. We have had a summer of fun. And summer's almost done. Yeah. And here's the thing uh-huh i said summer was almost done right before the fourth and i was told the fourth hasn't even happened yet summer's just begun but guess what we're done summer's short it it flew by it's wild yeah because my birthday is just around the river bend and you know i haven't done the planning because i'm trying to get on a boat and I still haven't done it yet. We got it. It's tough.

I'm having a tough time sitting down. But we went and saw Missy Elliott. Yeah. It was so fun. So fun. Yeah. Busta Rhymes open. Well, we missed Timbaland.

We fully missed Timbaland. Because they started the show at 7.30. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe it either. I said, no concert has ever started on time. Beyonce has you get there at 8 and doesn't get on until 10. Truly. And there is no opener.

Truly. I mean, DJ Khaled was there in Dochi, but they were only on for like 10 minutes. Yeah. Yeah. They, yeah, as we were walking in, some security guy was like, better get in there. Timbaland's on stage. And we were like, what? Why?

And he was. And he was, I mean, I guess he wasn't like performing per se. He was just playing his songs and walking around. I sort of want to see that. But then we had to find a bathroom

because it wasn't SoFi. Where were we? LA Live? No. Crypto.com Arena. One of the best named venues in No. Crypto.com Arena. Yes. One of the best named venues in LA. Crypto.com Arena.

Rolls off the tongue. Had no bathrooms open. Yeah. That's sad. I said, you are under... Funny. Fitting. It was under construction for Missy Elliott. That's the title of one of her albums.

Oh, that's nice. They were like, you come while we're under construction. We'll honor you. And nobody will be able to urinate. It was so hard to find a bathroom. I was like, I guess I won't get a drink. Yeah. Because I won't be able to pee if I need to.

Oh, boy, it was wild. Yeah. And then Busta Rhymes was so fun. So fun. Yeah. He wore a red vinyl suit and was dabbing sweat off. And I said, baby baby it's not going nowhere you just mushing that shit around yeah because it was just trapped in his in this red vinyl cage

and then he took it off and it was like just still sweat yes but like he also was doing the most oh my god he was doing so much so fun like you could like i mean i guess he actively performs i think all the time but just like no time has passed between the beginning of his career and now like he still can rap as well as he did when he started like so charismatic so charismatic very goofy sprayed us with champagne at the end i wasn't even mad about it it was I mean, we were a little further back from the splash zone, which was nice. Yeah. And then you didn't smell this woman next to us. She was musty as hell.

I did not smell her. She lifted her arms and I said, Lord, save me. Knocked me back, bitch. I don't know how I missed it because she was all over me. She was all up in your biz. Yeah. Because the chairs were also like so close. They truly smashed up next to each other and so and everyone's standing but like she kept inching

more and more into my space so then i just like put my elbows out and started dancing like up i was just touching her the whole time and then eventually her and her friend switched and then they were like a little farther away which is great which is nice yeah yeah everyone was so so close um and then i will say this missy what the fuck they we we had a breakdown between every set yeah it was just like okay now we talk oh yeah now it happened all the lights came up yeah i was like can we get a dj or something to play in between yeah um and then sierra came out and then missy came out yeah and boy oh boy was she so fucking good so good so good she ran around the arena and was not winded i couldn't believe it it was wild i said you're almost 50 or you are 50 years old and she was smiling the whole time and i was smiling the whole time and i was like smiling the whole time. And I was like, this is an old person show.

She opened it by being like, this is an hour and a half. That's it. There's like a countdown on her clock that said, you'll be out in 90 minutes. We are going to wrap this up. There will not be an encore. Nope. We will not. Nope.

Nothing. Nothing. You'll get out and go home and I'll be in bed. It was so funny. But I loved all her outfits. I just, it made me so happy. The visuals are great. Yeah.

It was like, and it was weird. It was like, we went to outer space with Missy. Yeah. Ugh. And it was just, it was a dream come true for little Nicole. Because I have loved Missy Elliott for a very long time. Yeah. Ugh.

Yeah, it was so fun I listened to Under Construction so fucking much and then I think it's Da Real World the way I said that is insane Da Real World but I think that's the album name Da Real World

that is such a good album that has hot boys and she's a bitch and I love those two songs and then i mean get your freak on that i think that's missy so addictive that's also such a good album oh so fun so so fun i used to blast uh missy elliott and like lil kim that was my rotation oh yeah oh i did get them right under construction construction. Oh, The Cookbook, The Real World, Missy So Addictive. What is that?

Iconology. That one's great. That's like an EP of four or five songs, but all the songs are hits. They're so good. She's so talented. She's so talented. It's wild.

She changed music. Yeah. And I don't think she gets enough credit for it. She started hip-hop pop. Yeah, this is true. And I don't think she gets enough credit for it. She started like hip-hop pop. Yeah. This is true. And I don't understand why we don't talk about it more. I do think people recognize it. Do we talk about it? Who's talking?

She got the MTV Vanguard Award or whatever. But is she in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? Is she? She should be. She should be. Are there hip-hop people in there? I feel like I feel like Jay-Z or someone's in there. Jay-Z's everywhere. Jay-Z gets everything.

And do you have a problem with that? He's a businessman. He is a businessman. Not a business man. A business man. I don't have a problem with Jay-Z. I think he's great. He is everywhere.

You know who else is everywhere? Who? Snoop Dogg. Snoop Dogg is the ambassador of the Olympics. It's crazy. He held a torch. Yes. He passed the torch.

Yes. But when you get to be an icon, you get to do shit like that, which is incredible. I would love to carry the torch. Also, the Olympics is insane. Okay, so it's in France, but America is really like, we're in the Olympics is insane. Like, okay, so it's in France, but America is really like, we're here. This is ours. Snoop Dogg is the ambassador for us. He

will hold the torch, and then Tom Cruise is going to do a stunt at the end. What are we doing? What is happening? It's really, it's very celeb heavy this year. Yes. Salma Hayek also passed the torch oh and then um a basketball player was on a boat like he was uh going across the delaware river

i don't know wait i think it was lebron james maybe judith do you mind looking that up i think lebron james was like going across the some river withholding the american flag great it's oh that's too late 2023 it's 2024 that was last fucking year she should have been inducted years ago but she's still in it all right fair um it is so funny i never know when the olympics are happening same but they grip me every year they do happen. And I'm like, oh my God. The pommel horse man. The pommel horse man. I love him.

He's great. Flava Flav sponsors the U.S. polo team? I mean, it's so, it feels like a Mad Libs sentence. It really does. And I was like, this is incredible. It's great. And then I've, this is incredible. It's great. And then I've been watching

rugby clips. Rugby is brutal. Yeah. These women are fucking knocking each other over. I think Iona is this lady I started following. I was like, wow, she's great. I follow a bunch of shot putters. I watched Jakari Richardson be so fast.

Yeah. She's so fast. She is so. It is. The way I. Okay. When you watch her run, you watch them little feet. They're like. Her feet are.

Her feet are so fucking fast. It is comical. Yeah. I saw some headline that said that technically Shikari could run on water. Yes, I saw that. That's pretty cool. And I was like, test that shit out. When can we see this?

And I'm like, and here's how we do the test. Okay. So you have like a board right above the water. And then like there's a little bit of water over it. And then you have a little chunk of no board. And see if she falls down. So she scientist today and then okay simone biles uh-huh i want to have a bunch of olympians on why won't you date me and this podcast and i don't know if that's a feasible thing to do i'm like how do we get them how do we get them maybe i don't know but that's a feasible thing to do. I'm like, how do we get them? How do we get them? Maybe. I don't know.

But, oh, my God. Simone fucking Biles. Yeah. It is incredible to fucking watch her. And then in all the comments, people are like, she doesn't stick her landings. And I'm like, yeah, because her difficulty score starts off so high that it doesn't actually matter if she sticks her landings or steps out of bounds. That's insane. It really feels like she's just like,

I'm going to do whatever I want. Yes. I already have all the medals. Who cares? Who gives a shit? I'm just going to do everything I think is fun. Yes. Or like hard or challenging for me. And I love it.

And then we'll see what happens. My God. It's fun to watch the Olympics. It's fun to watch the Olympics. And I do wish that like the week after the Olympics like they had like a raffle like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory style where like normal people could like try to swim against Olympians.

Oh no. Wouldn't that be fun? It'd be embarrassing. Oh come on. At least you tried. I would love to do it. I would love to get on the uneven bars and show them what I got. Or the beam. Imagine me on a beam. But, like, don't you think there's a safety concern?

No. We just adjust some things for people. So, like, a high dive. We bring it down a little bit. The beam, closer to the floor. Can't do nothing crazy. The vault, we're going to put it real low. Yeah.

And nothing crazy. See what people can do. Also, like, things I didn't even like i didn't know shooting was a part of the olympics i had no idea we came in last which is humiliating considering we shoot everybody every day there's there's a shooting every fucking day and we came in last but here's the the thing. We're bad at it. Not skilled, technically. No, we're just like, pop, pop, pop. It's more quantity versus quality.

Truly. But have you seen Turkey sent a man who didn't wear any ear stuff? Oh, yeah, he's just like, hand in the pocket and won the silver medal? Yes. Yeah.

Oh, boy. It's been fun. Very fun. Oh, wow. Wow. And it's going to be here. And's been fun. Very fun. Oh, wow. Wow. And it's going to be here. And I'm getting excited about it. Where?

Here at SiriusXM Studios. The fourth floor will be gymnastics. The third floor will be swimming. They're building a pool. I don't think there's enough room. There's enough room. No, in Los Angeles, California. I didn't know that.

It's coming. 2028, I believe. Wait, didn't know that. It's coming. 2028, I believe. Oh, no. Wait, is it 2028? It's coming. That's just like, don't they have to build a bunch of shit for it? They do. And I was worried about the infrastructure and traffic. Yeah. But if I get to go to events, I don't think I care. Yeah. I'm

so excited. That's true. If I get to see Simone Biles, huh? So I need Simone to stick stick with it and for four more years and I get it like her whole mental health thing people were really like mean about it but I'm like take all the time you need twisties are serious like if you don't know where your body is and you're fucking doing three twists in the air yeah that's dangerous like take care of yourself yeah but I need her I would really like her

to take care of herself so she can perform for me for you in 2028 here in LA I'd really like to see it I want to see it I want to see it

I want to see it too I want to go to the Olympics I've never wanted to go and this year I was like I miss you out on everything in Paris and I was like what?

it's never occurred to you before. No, I've never wanted to go to an Olympics before. And every year it comes on, I am slightly interested. But like the memes this year were so good that I was like, Olivia Benson, Mariska Hargitay was there. And they were like, New York needs protection. If she's gone, who's looking over New York? And then apparently there's like somebody there who's not a great person.

And they were like, oh, she's there investigating that guy. I'm deep in the memes. Yeah, you are. I don't think I'm that deep yet. Deep in these fucking memes. I'm having a good time. But here's the thing. I don't understand gymnastic scoring.

It really doesn't make sense. I know that the score starts off at the difficulty and then points are deducted from execution and like if your coach spots you, they take points away. They take points away for safety. Can you believe?

They said you want to be safe? He ain't got no points. That's crazy to me. That is crazy. So, Shira, will you take a gymnastics class with me? Sure. It blows my mind when I ask a question that I'm like, I think they're going to say no.

And they say yes. And by they, I mean you. Wow. It sounds fun. Oh my God. Imagine I just start crying. I can't imagine it. You do it all the time.

I didn't get a hot dog the other day and I almost cried. What scenario was this? Were you owed a hot dog? I mean, anytime I want a hot dog, I am owed a hot dog. So I went to the Americana to see a movie. Yeah. I went and saw Wolverine Loves Deadpool. Yes.

Wolverine Loves Deadpool forever. And I did not eat dinner because I was going to get me a hot dog. Yeah. A nice dry dog. Yeah. Dry? Well, I don't. Waitresses really, like, they insult me when I ask for a burger without, like, pickles and, like, ketchup and stuff.

They're like, so dry. Ew. And I'm like, you don't have to do that. Yeah. So I've just adopted it. I've reclaimed my time. I have reclaimed the dry label. But also a juicy, moist dog.

You don't need anything. No. It kind of marinates the bun. Yeah. So I wanted my dry dog for dinner. I wanted to chow down as I watch Wolverine Love Deadpool. Yeah. And I get to the front of the line.

Also, it is like TSA pre-check at the movies now. If you have a Stubbs fucking card, you get to go in front of people. Oh, yeah. And I'm taking off my shoes, waiting on popcorn. They're like, Mammy, you don't have to take your shoes off. I'm like, where's my laptop? So finally get to the front of the line. And I was like, one dog, please.

And they're like, we don't have any. And I said, what? Oh. and he goes, oh, sorry. And I said, wow. This is the worst day of my life and both my parents are dead. And he said, okay. And the person I was with was like, okay. And I meant every word of it i wanted that dog so bad i was dreaming about that dog ever since i made the plans i wanted that dog so then i didn't get the dog and i was like when do you put the dogs on and he's like i don't know not anytime soon i was like not anytime soon but this is an 8 p.m showing there's an 11 p.m showing people will be here at all late they might talk so then was like waiting for the movie to start also i was i was early for the movies this year never my life has not happened yeah they show commercials before the

previews yes this is true oh you knew yeah i've seen them before yeah you've seen commercials before the previews you've been early to a movie? Yeah. Not all the time, but sometimes. I had no idea. Mm-hmm. It rocked my world. Yeah.

And I was like, some of these commercials are fun. I guess I showed up early to see these commercials. Maybe. I feel like I've been, like, missing out on some of the entertainment. Yeah. Because I've been arriving late. Mm-hmm. Well, the more you know. I can't believe you've been, like, missing out on some of the entertainment. Yeah. Because I've been arriving late. Mm-hmm. Well, the more you know.

I can't believe you've been early. I simply cannot believe you've been early to a movie. Why? We're late birds of a feather. Yeah, but sometimes I show up early. It's wild. You do show up early sometimes, and it ratt rattles everything because I'm like, what? God, she's waiting on me now. What? And then every now and again, I'm early.

Yeah. Sometimes you're early and I'm like, this is not what I was planning for. Yeah. I'm never planning for you to be early. You're never planning for me to be early. I know. Let's never be early again. Got it. Anyway, the person I was with was like, I'm going to go out and see if they have dogs. And I was like, oh, my God, that's so great. And then they came back. No dogs.

Very upset. Was leaving. And I was like, I'm going to see if they have dogs. And they were like, that's like landing at the airport and eating at the airport when you could just go home. Yeah. And I was like, yeah, but I've done that before. And your point? And I was like, what what am I being insane about getting my dog and they were like yes and I was like I'll kill you and then I was like I'm gonna go to the bathroom and then in the bathroom I was like you are being insane

you don't need you can have a hot dog anywhere else. You just wanted it and you hyper fixated on it. But you are actually being insane. And I told this story to my therapist and she was like, good job on self-soothing. And I was like, oh. She's like, you know how you've had trouble with that? That's what you're doing. Nice. And I was like, wow.

In another world I would have bought something else and threw it. Like when I threw that piece of bacon. I'll never forget that. I thought about that the other day. I was like, that was wild. I can't believe this girl is still my friend. All these years later, knowing what's inside me. At age, you could throw food at a wall. At any moment. You could throw food.

At a wall. At a wall. But I haven't done it since. You haven't? No. Thank God. But I have been mad. I've been so mad I could throw some bacon. Is it question time?

Probably. Ooh. Yes. Let's answer some Qs. Let's answer some Qs. Let's A some Qs. Let's A some Qs. Let's A some Qs. That sounds nasty. Okay.

Hi, Nicole and Fashir. Long time listener, first time caller, big fan. My name is... I am calling because I have a bit of a friend thing. I just realized I shouldn't have said my name, but here we are. So I got in a fight with my best friend about three years ago, and I kept trying to chat about it and talk it through, and she chose not not to so it's been about three years of no contact um I just got a text from her today kind of out of the blue wanting to connect but I've finally like gotten over it but I'm curious what she might say so my question is

is the curiosity of like where she's been and what she's been doing and like her reasoning for like basically imploding our friendship is that enough enough to reopen the wound or just leave it alone? I've moved on. I don't really want a friendship with her again. What do you think? Love you guys. Thank you. If you can bleep out my name, that'd be cool, but you

don't have to. Okay. Bye. Can we bleep out her name with Yeah, sure. Can we bleep out her name with Yeah sure Yeah And leave that in so everyone understands Why it's that Absolutely

Okay what do you think I mean I would be curious But I also get not needing to try if you're perfectly fine not being this person's friend. Maybe if it was me, maybe I would agree to talk, but make it as low maintenance for me as possible. to talk but make it as low maintenance for me as possible so if that is a quick phone call before i have something else to do like i only have 20 minutes but like let's yeah i'll listen or um i don't know that's probably it actually like if it's if meeting feels exhausting, don't meet. If like a longer phone call feels exhausting, don't do that. You know, you can pick the parameters. But I think I would also want to know what do they have to say?

Okay. My thing is if you've reached a point where you're fine with it, a lot of people have a hard time with that. And if you don't need closure, live that life, baby. Don't see them. But me, I'm going to see what's up. I have morbid curiosity. I love to know what's going on with people. I got to know you got fat.

Did you get thin? Did you have a baby? What happened? Did you move? Did you dig a hole or something? What are you doing? Did you dig a baby uh what happened did you move yeah like uh did you dig a hole or something like what are you doing did you dig a hole tell me is that what took three years is it big did you make it to china maybe she dug right through the earth right through the magma I gotta take a nap but yeah I would definitely I mean

and maybe this is bad advice but like I would I would want to know what's up and I agree with you least least heavy lifting on your part yeah I can talk for 20 minutes

da da da and then it's like then you can really like make a choice be like do I want this person in my life? Because like, what if they tell you something wild? Something juicy. Or maybe just give you more perspective because maybe this person can come and come back and be like, hey, I understand that my reaction was outsized to what happened and it was because I was going through a lot you

know you never know yeah and maybe that doesn't justify why they fell out for so long or maybe it does like it might be worthwhile to hear it but also maybe go into it knowing that you could get a very unsatisfactory response they could just be be like, it's also possible this person wants to hang out and not even talk about the falling out. And that would suck. That would drive me absolutely bonkers. It's like, you want to just be back to normal? Not possible.

After three years? Diva, no! That would truly be wild. But like, 20 minutes in, if they didn't mention it, I'd be like, hey, can we talk about how we haven't spoken in three years? I would have to. Yeah. And if they didn't mention it, I'd be like, hey, can we talk about how we haven't spoken in three years? I would have to. Yeah. And if they're like, oh, it's like nothing or like, I don't know, I was being weird. Then you just have your answer of like, okay, I don't want this person in my life.

Yeah. Good to know. Good to know I already knew that. Yeah. I say reach out. You got nothing to lose. You've healed. Yeah.

Yeah. Unless this person is, if this person is capable of opening an old wound, then I say protect yourself, like for real. Yeah. Even though I wouldn't. Yeah. I would see. I have let the worst people in my life reach back out and I go, hi, what's up? What's going on? Do you have something you want to, do you want to hurt my feelings again? I'm available for that. i'm available to cry later solved hello bffs i have a query regarding friendships and gifts giving slash receiving i have a newer friend let's call let's call her sally um i have a newer friend who let's call

sally and we met after we both had babies at the same time. We grew really close during our postpartum journey and do almost weekly hangs with our kids. We talked each other through really hard times. And when it came time for our children's first birthday parties, we were so excited. Well, my baby's party was first. And she unfortunately couldn't come. Not the part I'm salty about. Things happen.

Other plans are made. No big deal. What I don't love is she didn't get my baby a gift. I was surprised because, one, everyone else brought a gift. Two, I thought us and our boys were pretty tight. We've said I love you to each other. And three, we then went to her baby's party the next weekend and I brought a gift. I figured she had just forgotten or something, but I even reminded her of the college

fund option we sent out. And now it's been almost a month and still no gift. I know gift giving isn't everyone's love language and perhaps I'm putting too much emphasis on this, but I'm having trouble getting over it and it's made me feel some kind of way about our friendship. What would you do? It's an awkward convo to have, but I'm struggling to find a way to navigate through it. Maybe you've had a similar situation and can add some perspective.

Thanks so much. XOXO. Okay, I'm not a parent. So... I am. Imagine this when you find out I have a child. I'd be like, what the fuck? What would you do if I had a three-year-old that I'd just been hiding?

That's insane. How have you lived your life in a way that you could hide a three-year-old from me? I have a nanny. And it lives with the nanny? Lives with the nanny, lives with Cynthia. Sorry, go ahead. I interrupted. I was going to say, I'm not a parent,

so my perspective's going to be a little different than if I were. To me, I don't know if a baby can register a gift. I don't think the baby knows it didn't get a gift. So maybe your friend was like, this baby ain't even going to notice whether it got a gift or not. Deuteronomy always knows when he's not getting a gift. Cynthia tells him. Here's a list of people who didn't get you a gift

and then we set him free in their house and he's like in his little white suit I love that I've created this lore of Deuteronomy anyway okay I get that you're not a parent but this you know

I'm not a parent either and I get it so she feels But this, you know, I'm not a parent either. And I get it. So she feels I invited you to the party, so you should send a gift. Like, I invited you to my wedding, send a gift. And also, the friend didn't come to the party. Is that right? No.

But sometimes when people don't go to weddings, they send a gift. They don't go to a shower, they send a gift. They don't go to a shower, they send a gift. They don't go to a party, they send a gift. Some people, when they don't attend a thing, don't send anything. And then it's like, yeah, you went to her thing and you gave a gift because that's what you do. That's what some people do. Some people do not give a gift if they don't attend because they don't feel like they need to. So, I personally don't think

this is a thing to talk about because why? Like, what are you going to say? Hey, so you didn't come to my party and you didn't send a gift. Oh, okay. Yeah, I didn't send a gift because I didn't come to your party party

also i've been to friends children's birthday parties before and i don't remember which number you know a second birthday a third birthday i have never brought them a gift i've given baby shower gifts i've given congratulations you congratulations you're having a baby gift. I don't think I've ever given someone like a first birthday gift. Me either. But it seems like this person has let people know you can, in lieu of like a toy, you can give to their college fund. That's true. She did specifically make a way for people to give.

But maybe your friend didn't have the money to give. Yeah. Maybe that's why they didn't come to your party. Yeah. You're the main character in your story. She's the main character, or they're the main character in their story. They have other stuff going on, and that's why they didn't give you the gift. It's either they can't afford it.

Yeah. They didn't think it was necessary. Yeah. Or they just didn't want to. Yeah. Those are the three options, and they have nothing to do with you. You're still friends. Why would that make you less close?

Yeah, I agree. Like, we give each other gifts not on, like, specifically birthdays or, like, holidays. Like, it's like, when I think of you, I get you something. So maybe that's like, maybe she'll get your baby something when she thinks of your baby or when they think of your baby. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I personally, I don't expect like, well, I guess nobody's bringing me gifts.

But like when I have people at my house for like a party, I don't expect people to bring anything unless they're like, should I bring something? And I go, yeah. But if you don't ask, I'm not excited. I will have the things. Yeah. I wouldn't expect anyone to bring a gift for me or my baby yeah unless i said here's the registry or whatever here's the way to but you're not having a registry for your first birthday right that's what i like when you have a baby shower

that's when you do that yeah but but we already did that last year. Kids, parties, you do bring a gift. But I feel like 5, 6, 7, a one-year-old, what, more pacifiers? More nipples for the bottle? What does a one-year-old fucking need? I have no idea. I have no idea. Is it that different from a newborn? Or is it very different from a newborn? I have no idea i have no idea is it that different from a newborn or is it very different from a newborn i have no idea i don't know i don't think so they're still pretty gummy

yeah and they're like not moving around they're like you still hold them i think i don't know i just know i gotta get at them before they're like two get at them yeah hold them yes no steal them well i love holding a baby yeah and you gotta get them young which sounds sick but you gotta get them younger so you can hold them and they like let you hold them they're not squirming yeah or like being like oh you're not my mom i don't want to be with you they're just like ah take me wherever you want yes and i love that although i went to go visit a friend's baby and she she was like, I think she needed to shit. Because she was like real fussy and wouldn't let me hold her.

Like the minute she was placed in my arms, started screaming. And I was like, this is going to give me a complex. Usually babies love my soft, warm body because it reminds them of what? The womb. Co-parenting friendship query. Hi, Nicole and Sashir. Thank you both for all the laughs. I love the show so much.

And I'm hoping you can both solve. Nope. Both help me solve this issue. I am divorced. I have a two-year-old child. My ex-husband cheated on me while I was pregnant. And we divorced after our child was born. Understandably. My friends do not like my ex-husband and he deserves their wrath. This is intensely written.

I like it. I like it, too. However, he and I have known each other for over 12 years, and we are committed to co-parenting our child. He has taken accountability for his behavior while we were married and is a great dad to our child. We spend a lot of time together and do activities as a family. These activities sometimes include my friends. My best friend is always particularly nasty towards my ex-husband when they're in spaces together. She will ignore him when he is

speaking or outright tell him to shut up or that she doesn't want to hear anything he's saying. I have spoken to her before and asked her to please try to be kinder for my child, for my sake and my child, but I generally don't think she can help herself. She hates him.

I'm not sure how to handle this. I want my best friend to be at family events like my child's birthday party or extracurricular activities, but managing her interactions with my ex-husband is exhausting. I'm also worried that my child is picking up on the conflict between them. I don't want her to be negatively impacted. Any thoughts or advice on how to handle this situation would be so helpful. Thank you both.

Ooh. I mean, that, say that. Like, I know you've spoken to her, but have you directly said, my child is picking up on this and I don't want my child to have to be in a negative space, especially since we are committed to co-parenting and being civil to one another.

Yeah, I think that's good. Right? I mean, it's crazy that they've already had this conversation and it's still happening. I mean, I like this best friend. She's spicy. Spicy. But I think when you're like, it's not for me. I don't like him.

I'm just, for the sake of my child, I'm civil. And I need you to be civil for the sake of my child. Otherwise, I'm going to have to not invite you to things. Yeah. Because my child needs the good shit. Yeah. And it's like, they're divorced. It's not like he's actively treating this person poorly.

The repercussions have happened already. They're not together. Already been done done it. Already been done done. He doesn't need to have continued punishment. I kind of like him though. Really funny. I mean, yeah, if she really is like, look, I will continue to hate him.

I will continue to give him my wrath. Then maybe you could be like, all right, I'm just gonna give you a heads up when he's coming. And if you feel like you really cannot be civil, don't come. Yes. Which sucks. Yeah. I would like for you to be at my kid's graduation or whatever. But if you can't, just don't be there.

Or give her the option to be a different kind of zesty. Instead of being like, shut up. She can be like, okay, you're the husband. Say something. This apple pie is really good. Oh, you think so? Wow. It is good apple pie.

Okay, say something else. I'm going to go to the grill. The grill? The grill needs you. I can't wait to see what you grill up you can be nasty with nice words it feels worse actually it actually feels worse than you if you were just straight up mean wait do one more um uh anyone need anything from the kitchen oh you're gonna go to the kitchen wow that is so kind of you be intuitive and bring me something yummy yeah those are all good words yeah those are all good words but it feels so bad. Maybe you could also set up an inflatable boxing ring in your yard and just let him have it.

Yeah, hit him. Duke it out. That'll be good for the child to see. Wow, women keep coming over and hitting my daddy. Also, imagine cheating on your pregnant wife. It happens all the time. She's carrying your seed. Yeah.

But isn't that like male primal stuff to like protect their seed or whatever? I think there's also, I think there's studies on how like men don't get attached to the kid until they're here. Whoa. Or maybe they're attached during pregnancy, but I think they really don't feel it until they see the kid. Where a woman has an inherent attachment because it's literally in their body. Yeah. Wow. So I think it's kind of out of sight, out of mind.

Oof. I guess I have a baby. Yeah, I guess a baby's coming or something. I don't fucking know. But I'm horny as hell. I better go fuck somebody at Applebee's God yeah

if I got pregnant and my partner cheated on me I don't know I'd be like well it's your baby now no yeah you keep it

you did this to me you cheated on me you raise it I'm actually watching desperate housewives right now have you seen it yes i saw it in its original run i should revisit it it's a great show it's a great show it's so dramatic it's so juicy so much happens in every single episode and i got to the part where uh gabrielle made it very clear she does not want to evil on Gloria character does not want to have kids her husband

who's a convict wants kids yeah and messes with her birth control and gets her pregnant and I was like how did she not walk out the door

right and she's still but also he has money so she's like I can't leave he's gonna someone has to raise this baby I don't want to

but I was like that's nuts I would be so mad if someone messed with So she's like, I can't leave. He's going to, someone has to raise this baby. I don't want to. But I was like, that's nuts. I would be so mad if someone messed with my birth control that I'm not on. I'd be so mad. I'd be like, how'd you mess with it? I'm not on it. How'd you get me birth control and mess with it? Yeah, birth control doesn't work for my body. It doesn't work for a lot of people's bodies.

No, it really fucked me up. But you know what fucks me up better? Phone calls and emails. NicoleInstashare at gmail.com. 424-645-7003. And you know what you can fuck up? Our merch. You can go to podswag.com slash best friends.

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