Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Nicole Knows Her Cars

Episode Date: November 19, 2025

Nicole and Sasheer are back with a special solo episode for your video watching eyes and podcast listening ears! They get into Nicole's latest musical fixation, Sasheer's cat's recent escape attempt, take a quiz and answer some questions from the lovely listeners.Quiz Link: https://www.proprofs.com/quiz-school/story.php?title=pq-what-type-of-vehicle-are-youWatch this full video on YouTube and follow below!Follow Nicole: Twitter, Instagram, TikTokFollow Sasheer: Instagram, TikTokLike the show? Rate Best Friends 5 stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts!Have a friendship question for Nicole and Sasheer to solve? Leave us a voicemail at [phone]‬ or write in at [e-mail] Friends is a production of Headgum Studios. Our producer is Allie Kahan. Our executive producer is Anya Kanevskaya. The show is edited, mixed, and engineered by Richelle Chen.This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Best Friends via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Hi, Nicole. Hello, Sishir. Hello, round of applause. How are you? I'm good. I told you this already. but my cat made a break for it yesterday,

and it was crazy. Okay, walk me through how this happened. Okay, so my girlfriend bought a leash for our cat and took the cat outside. And, you know, as far as we could see, cat was just like rolling around, being very chill, getting some sun. Now has this cat been on a leash before? Yeah.

I mean, when it was a smaller kitten, yes. And then we also took it outside and walked him around and, like, showed him different plans and stuff. And he loved it. And so we got a larger, or I guess, harness because he's larger now. And we're like, let's try again. And I walked outside. And I guess I served as a distraction because then he just bolted up the stairs of the balcony, jumped off like Tom Cruise, just like an action movie.

landed on an awning outside a window and then like like hit the ground I guess or didn't hit the ground landed on the ground and then I ran around the front of my house to catch him on the other side and then he got to like a little corner and then like looked at me and then bolted back towards the yard and I chased him back around and then he like almost went to a neighbor's yard and then like came back a different way and then I grabbed his leash and then we took him back inside but I was like I feel like he's been plotting this for a while because he keeps looking out windows

he's just staring at everything outside the window and I feel like he was like okay there's an awning there and then there's stairs over here and then if I go to that corner that's the street like I feel like he was been mapping it out do you think he wants to escape

I don't I think maybe not maybe he just wanted to scare us because he absolutely could have escaped and he really wanted to leave he was right next to the street and he was like I'll go back to the yard and then he also could have crawled to a neighbor's yard and he like stopped there and he's like I'll go over here and then I feel like he like positioned to himself to be closer to us so we could catch him because I didn't it wasn't because I was fast I caught him because he was near me huh and is he still looking at windows does he still seem to be yearning to be out there he's looking out windows but not in a like plotting way which I guess I didn't think he was plotting before well do you

Do you think he's an outdoor cat? I think he really wants to be an outdoor cat, but not like this. Never again, sir. Not if you're going to run like that. Well, how do outdoor cats become outdoor cats? I don't know. Do people just put them outside and say, come back whenever? I don't know.

Because my girlfriend had a cat before who could be an outdoor cat and could, like, sit out in the yard and be chill. But I guess he never tried to run. So, yeah, I don't know if you just watch their demeanor as they grow up and you're like, oh, I think you can handle being outside and like little by little trust them more. Or if you just put them outside and see if they come back. Because Clyde always has to be on a leash. Yeah. But in front of, like, when we go back inside, I'll take him off his leash and he'll run up the stairs.

But that's, I have to hold him. Although the other day This has happened multiple times Where I thought I was holding his leash I went to a park I went to Prospect Park with him And I thought I was holding his leash But then I looked up

And he was over there running And I was like I'm not holding his leash And then I had to Are you holding anything? Your hand was just up My hand was just like that And then I was like my dog

And then I had to run after him And he had just like ran up to this other dog And the lady was like, oh, he's 10 pounds. So she didn't have to do all that. But I was like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. He just wanted to play. And then the other night we were walking. It was late at night.

And I was trying to walk around this dog that was coming this way because all he wants to do is play. And I was like, people don't want to go through that. And then, you know, the dogs being like and then barking or whatever. So I was trying to go around this car. And then they were trying to go around the car. And I went, oh, no. this way, Clyde, and then I was like, Clyde, and there was nothing in my hand. And I had dropped his leash, and then I was like trying to step on us so he wouldn't run.

And I don't know how or why that happens where I'm holding it. And then I see him in a different spot. And I look down and I'm like, I don't have it. Are you holding other things in your hands? No. There was nothing. Both times, nothing in my hand. How funny.

Hmm. Yeah, maybe you're just like thinking about something. You just open your hand a little bit too much. maybe but also I don't put my hand through the loop sometimes I just have it in my just in my hand and then the hands close like that so that makes it kind of easy to get loose you also get one of those that go cross body

so you don't even have to put your you have to hold anything it's just like attached to your body no I'm sorry I'm not a nerd I just don't like the way those look those are really upsetting to me what do you mean you got your dog wrapped around your waist what are you doing most of the time their arms are swinging. You look like a freak. I hate them. I won't do that. You want me to look like a freak in my neighborhood? I really don't want you. You want people to look

out the window being like, what a freak? I understand. I get that. It does look like also... And then the dog's pulling you from... The dog is like also walking you. You're both on a leash. Yeah. I don't get walked. Yeah. I walk myself. I'm a human. I'm the dog walker. That's right. She's the dog walker. But also... it's like giving me the ick to think about it like it's nasty as hell it's truly one of the worst things i've ever seen in my whole life even the cross body ones i've seen some cute ones what do you mean cross body like it goes like diagonal across your body as opposed to around your waist like a crossing walk operator then people with the sign like we have a purse link like going across your body wow not an ex just like just one and then where does the leash come out of i guess you're waist till that's disgusting I don't want that. That's just as nasty as them laying down bicycles. Sit up.

Oh, where your legs are in front of you. Yes. Sit up. What are you doing? Go to sleep if you want to lay down. Is it an easier way to ride or a more difficult way to ride? The dumber way? I don't know.

I think it's disgusting. What do you think about those really big bikes with like the huge, like, wheel? That's funny. That's silly. That's whimsical. It is whimsical. You're sitting up right and it's big. And you had to figure out how to get up there.

Yeah, how do they get up there? Who knows? Who knows? It's a mystery. And if you're lucky enough to see it, what a good day you had? It's a nice day you're having. What about a unicycle?

Also goofy and whimsical. That's okay. Yeah. I'll allow it. Okay. All right. But you better practice. You better not be bad.

Do not come around here falling off. I will say, what's the point? Why did you do that? Or I'll giggle. He he ha ha, ha, you fell down again. Give me more. Give me more. But what about, okay, do you know those, like, electric wheels that people just put in between their feet?

It's, like, small. It's kind of like a unicycle. U.S. upsetting. Right? They go too fast. I don't like them. I don't like them.

I don't like those lines. scooters. I don't like segways. No, actually Segway's fun. That's whimsical. That's weird. I don't know it doesn't a long time. Me either. You know, the creator segways went right off a mountain on a

segue. Yeah. Which is honestly poetic. It's really the only way to go. Right? Yeah. I think about Jonathan Larson a lot. Who's that? He wrote Rent and he didn't die of AIDS. Wouldn't you think he'd what do you think he died of AIDS

he wrote this old musical that's like AIDS happy and then he passes away and you're like obviously from AIDS I think it was just cancer not just cancer but I think it was cancer yeah it is a like wait so you didn't dedicate your life to this right yeah it would probably make more sense if that if Rent was like

his last project or like his dad Yeah, you're right. His life's work or something. But yeah, I guess he just lived life and then eventually there's something else. Yeah. Well, he died pretty young. Yeah. He was 35.

He died of an aortic dissection. Not even cancer. No, not caused by cancer. He had an undiagnosed heart condition. Oh, dang. Died, I think it was opening night of rent. Oh, my gosh. Whoa.

Whoa. He never saw it. rent oh that's that's wild that's wild but i've seen rent yeah you sure have and thank god for that i've seen it i saw closing night of the touring company in new jersey oh whoa whoa whoa i don't know why i ended up in new jersey seeing it yeah i saw it on broadway multiple times have you seen rent Not on Broadway. How we gonna pay? How we gonna pay this year's rent.

Last year's rent, rent, rent, rent, rent, rent. How are we going to say rent? Is that part of the song, rent, rent, rent, rent, rent, rent, rent. Really? Yes. Yes. You've never heard it? I mean, I'm sure I have.

I've seen the movie a couple times. Rent, rent, rent, rent, rent. How are we going to be rent? Because everything is rent. No, everything is rent. Doesn't make sense. I swear to God that is, hold on. That's the finale of the song.

Everything is rent. Everything is rent. Well, it is a shame that Jonathan Larson wasn't able to see it because he would have made some edits. But, you know, I say rent too much in this song. It's called rent. You could, of course. But rent, rent, rent, rent, rent, rent, rent, rent. Yeah, it's very first draft.

It is very repetitive. Oh, boy, I loved rent. That was like the musical that took a hold of my high school. We didn't do it at my high school, but all the kids would be like, 5215.25 minutes. And I was like, okay. I didn't actually see the movie until I was an adult. And I still haven't seen the stage production of it.

But it's a good time. It's a great time. I think it's great. Lovey bo'em. Lovey bo'em. Anyway, I went to skewle, acting skewle, when the tides turn, because Rent did have a chokehold on the youth who were trying to be actors. And then it turned to Wicked.

So then the first semester of school You just heard a lot of people singing Rent And then you heard a lot of defying gravity By a lot of people who simply Couldn't divide it And I don't know if Wicked still has the chokehold I guess Hamilton I would say Hamilton took over

But it is wild that like a musical will like Define a generation of like young actors Which is cool that it still does like that live theater, live performance is still like revered by the youth. I will sometimes see a show and be so inspired to like create and then also I've been to shows where I'm like,

I don't know, I think we've created enough. I don't think we should ever be creative again. Maybe we're done creating. This is not good. This is pretty bad. I am not inspired. Yeah. Yeah.

Have you seen Wicked? Are you going to see Wicked 2? It's coming. Wicked 2 is coming. coming. Winter is coming. Wicked back again. I do want to see it.

I loved the first one. You still haven't seen it, right? Nope. Yeah. But I will see the second one. Perfect. I love a sequel. Also, I've seen the play.

Yeah, yeah. I saw the original production with Kristen Chenoweth. Mm-hmm. And Adelaidea and Adele Dizim. Boy, boy, what a dream. That was delightful. Watching it live, I was like, am I okay? All of us were having, like, a brainian.

Yeah, I was like, oh. And I remember looking around being like, he said Adele de Zeme, right? It was so wrong. The wicketyly talented, Adel DeZeme. Ugh. Didn't she come on, didn't she, like, introduce him and, like, mispronounce his name or something?

Maybe years later, but I think in the moment, everyone was like, uh, what? No, but like, yeah, years later, or maybe the next to her, I think she did something to, like, play on the joke. The wicketly talented, young, yong, gong. How would you mispronounce John Gibraltar? Well, how do you mispronounce Adelaideon, that's a pretty easy.

Especially when it's in prompter. I think they wrote it phonetically for him. Oh, boy. And sometimes that will fuck you up. Yeah. Because I did, I don't remember what it was, but I had to announce a bunch of names and they put them in the prompter phonetically. And I was like, oh, no.

This isn't nice. This isn't nice at all. And then once everyone got on stage, I said, please just reintroduce yourself because I did butcher a lot of your names and I'm really sorry. Yeah. Did you end up being closed to any of them? A couple. But I was pretty far off of some. Like when I heard them said out loud, I was like, that one didn't need to be phonetic.

Oh, that sucks. That one, I did too much work. But hey, reading's hard. Reading's hard. Do you know how to write in cursive? Yes. I haven't a long time. but I was taught it.

Allie, where are those dry erase boards? I want to see how you write your name in cursive. Okay. And a couple other words that we'll come up with on the spot. Cool. Thank you. Yeah, I wonder if I'll remember all the letters. Okay, there's my name.

Oh. Let's see, how it I writes this year. That's how I writes this year. It's pretty close. It's pretty close. Now write my name. Okay. Do you write in cursive often?

No, but that nice man in my life was like, do you not write in cursive? And I was like, yes. And he was having some trouble. He's a little younger than me, which makes it sound like he's like in grade school or something because they stopped teaching it. But he's only slightly younger. He's a zoomer. He's an iPad kid. I might.

You know what? I might not remember how to do all the capital letters. Because I'm for, I'm like... That's a G. Thanks? I was trying to do your name. Thank you for showing me the G? It's more concerned about the N.

Oh, I don't do the N's right. But the G's just so funny to me. That is a funny G. What is that N? Okay, wait. No. It's just, it's not going to, okay. I think that's, I think that's right.

Yeah? This is fun for people who are listening. It's like, also like a little hard for me to connect all of it. Yeah. Like to remember how the loops go. It is hard. That's how I wrote my name in two different ways. Ooh, that ends really pretty.

Well, that's a calligraphy end. That's not a, a cursive end. My mother used to do calligraphy. Ooh. And I remember one year, um, she did all of our Christmas cards from Santa in calligraphy. And my sister was like, and that's how we know Santa's real.

Because mom doesn't know how to write like that. And I was like, she doesn't. Here are all the pens in the closet. She's been learning. You added your mom. I've seen the pens. Yes. I've seen the paper.

Well, because I was nosy. Oh. And I would also go in her closet, root around, and figure out what we were getting. And then I would tell my sister, Before we got it You ruined for your sister

Yeah, so like I remember one year we got bikes and my mom had put the box because I think they were like assembled

so like the boxes were in the garage or the basement somewhere like up against the wall and I found them and I was like we're getting bikes this year

yours is pink and white mine's purple and she was like oh man and then when we got them I was like see I told you

we're getting bikes there is no Santa damn really ruining the joy and wonder for your sister The song Wrecking Ball is about me. I came in like a wrecking ball and ruined her nice life.

She was having a lovely time as an only child. My parents paid attention to her. She was wearing nice clothes, getting her hair done. And then I came and then they really, I don't want to say neglected her, but they were like, you're fine. We have to deal with this. We got to figure this out. This is doing too much.

I was always doing too much Yeah Well, why don't we throw to a break What do you want? Not family, not friends, not society at large, you What do you want?

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We're back. Wow. I got thrown hard. Oh, boy. What else were you right? Mm. Quiz nose. Oh.

Uh, hmm. It's really, gosh, he's freaking, oh, a Z? Whoa. Do I remember how to make a Z? Oh, boy. How do we think QuizNose is spelled? Wait, how do you think Quiz N-S-A-S-is-S-A-S-Q-U-I-Z-N-O-S? I thought it was just one Z.

Q-U-I. I think I. didn't write, but it looks really crazy. I'm missing this up so bad. Okay. Wait. The

Oh. Uh, uh, uh, uh, mine looks crazier. Okay. I think a cue is like a weird too.

I don't remember what a cue looks like. But maybe you're right. Maybe that is. I'm actually proud of myself. remembering what a z is because the z is crazy the z is crazy and then i guess i probably should connect to the oh and the s but it's an apostrophe s what do you do when there's an apostrophe who knows curses would you might looking up a capital q yeah can i see yours again i think you were right yeah wow good job i know all of them

you know all of them have you ever tried to learn calligraphy yes um um I would, so my mom, we had a laundry room and my dad built shelving above it for my mom with like little doors that didn't slide well. I was like, you got to get somebody else in here to finish this because this is not good, but, you know, whatever. And I would climb on top of the washing machine and pull out her calligraphy pins and play with them. Oh, nice. We weren't allowed to play with them because they were expensive. Yeah, they are. And I loved doing it.

And then I would, like, throw it away, like, the little paper, so she wouldn't know that I was secretly learning how to write better? I don't know. It was funny that you had to, like, do it in secret of all the things you could be doing in secret. Are you learning calligraphy? Who taught you that? No, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

And then she also had stamps in there. There was so much fun stuff above the watch. machine. Yeah. And I remember my mom worked at a department store when I was little. A&S. She was in the gift wrapping department. I don't know what she did the rest of the year.

And she left and my dad was watching us. And I remember finger painting the wallpaper in the bathroom with blue ink. And I remember putting my finger on the ink and then putting it on the wall. And I was like, whoa, that's beautiful. And I was like, I better continue this. And then I was like, boop, boop, boop, and my dad was so mad. And then I remember on our fireplace, I was sitting on the fireplace, because I used to just sit there and, like, talk. I remember being like, I don't know, this could be better.

So I took out my crayons and I started drawing on it. Oh, boy. My dad was so mad. Oh, boy. My sister would never join in. Of course. She's like, I don't want to get in trouble. I remember the first time I stole.

No, that's not the first time. It was one of the times. I was like, you take something to, and she was like, I don't want to. and I was like, you will take something. Yeah, I just ruined her life. She was making all the right choices. And I was like, you'll make some bad ones. Together, we'll be bad.

Were you bad with your brother? Was your brother bad? My brother, we were not bad together, no. And I was actually never bad, so no. Oh, yeah, I forgot. You're like Miss Goody fucking two shoes, talking about leashes around the waist. You would like a leash around the waist.

I hate that you brought that up. It's so nasty That's in my mind For the rest of the day, probably But then you have your hands free For what? I'm walking in the dog What else?

What am I going to eat a banana? I'm doing it I don't want to What if you pick a persimum From your neighbor's house And now you have two hands free To open it up and eat it You don't want me to wash it?

Well, okay Now you have a persimmon in your hands You can go to another neighbor's hose Rinse it off and eat it What do you think I'm doing in my neighborhood? Stealing. Just stealing and utilizing things? And they're like, do you live inside?

And I'm like, not today. Yeah, just having a whole day using other people's stuff. You know what I learned about those persimmons? They're not ripe. I've been eating them unripe. They're supposed to be soft. And the ones you've been eating are hard. Heart is a rock and I love them.

I think I like nasty food. I don't think I have good taste in food. I think you are open to food, like open to the varying tastes and degrees of quality of food. There? But you also like good food. It's not like you don't like good food. Oh, yes, correct. I do like good food, but I also love garbage.

I eat lean cuisines all day. I love a lean cuisine. Yeah. They're so nasty. And then I wanted to say Paula Abdul, but I think it's Goldie Hawn. No. Polly. Dolly Parton.

Took me a minute to get there She has frozen dinners Oh, I didn't know that I haven't tried it yet But it's in my freezer Great I'm very excited Wait, what was I going to say

Persimmons Food I didn't take my medicine today Oh it's okay So I'll probably never have that thought again Maybe you will Having ADHD is so hard sometimes Yeah

Yeah What was I going to say? Did it have anything to do with leashes? Rules, sister. Rules, sister, leashes. Get it, girl. Rules, sister, leashes. I was like, what?

That's okay. Will it be okay? Yeah, I'm sure, I'm sure it's fine. If it's really important, I'll come back to you. Sure. Okay. I think that's like a part of, like a trick where it's like if you do forget something, you just do something else and then eventually come back.

I don't know if that's ever happened. Where it's come back to you? Yeah. Oh, maybe not. Oh, well. Oh, well. What's today? Wednesday.

Got any weekend plans? um yes um what am i doing this weekend um well i guess it's all holiday specific and this is probably coming i'll wait like months from now so doesn't matter okay well i'm going to a Halloween party ooh okay this year was very strange for Halloween because I feel like there was a lot of activities the weekend before Halloween and Halloween is On a Friday. I think Halloween, I think it's Halloween season. So, like, you can do anything anytime in October, and it can be Halloween specific. But a party at someone's house? Mm-hmm.

Could be on a Wednesday on October 14th? Could be. You're going to attend a Halloween party on October 14th on a Wednesday? Who is? What? What? You said. Halloween things happen year rent or all a month.

Yeah. So I'm asking you, do you celebrate all month? Are you going to a Halloween party on October 14th on a Wednesday? If someone invited me and I was free, I would probably would go because I have a very free schedule right now. That's crazy behavior. That's crazy. I feel like Halloween should be limited to the week of Halloween. Just like I do not believe a Christmas tree should be up before December 1st.

Oh, a lot of people disagree with you. I know. And I think it's sick as hell. Why do you need a tree so much To get in the season Are you a Christmas treehead? No I just

Had a tree in my house Last year for the first time And it's kind of not really a tree Because my mom and I put these like Dried flower Arrangements together That look like trees And they're like

They could sit on the table So I was like There we go, that's something But it's not a tree Are you going to do Is that again this year? I don't know. I'm not really sure.

I actually saw a video I'll send it to you where someone made an organza Christmas tree and it looked really pretty. Like it was like this like flowy fabric as opposed to like leaves. That's nice. I maybe I'm a Grinch. I don't decorate for any holiday. I'm not a seasonal person. Yeah. My mother used to have like bins of things that would come out per season.

Yeah. I can't be bothered. I think I'm doing like little things here and there, but I don't know if I'll ever decorate my house to be season appropriate. Oh, I was dating somebody who did like Christmas, so I bought dollhouse trees and I put them on my where the little, the chest where I put my, like, car keys and stuff. There you go.

There's something. I was like, that's Christmasy, right? a nice time. You see it whenever you walk on the door. He was like, why try? I was like, alright, that's not nice. I did try. Yeah. But hey.

Whatever. Whatever. My ex did buy these lights that you can shine onto the house that makes it look Christmassy. And I was like, okay, that requires no work for me. That's really nice. I think that's what it is. I don't want more work. I don't want to clean. I don't want to set up. I don't want to do that.

Yeah. My old roommate, John Milheim, John Milhizer, my old roommate, he had a tree, and now he's got a train set, and he's got so many decorations, and he dresses up right in front of the TV, and then I'll go over there and he'll be like, look at the train, and we'll just stare at that train for a little bit, and I'm like, that's nice. Yeah. I don't think I understand decorations in my house. Yeah.

But others, that's a nice time. Mm-hmm. Maybe people are trying to connect to some sort of, like, childlike whimsy or, like, there's some, like, nostalgia there or something like that. Mm, probably. Did you decorate your house growing up? No. I don't think so. Hmm.

Yeah, I really don't have. I guess there was a tree in my house on Christmas. But then after my parents split, kind of not. really it really wasn't a thing or like maybe like last minute we would remember to like put up a plastic tree or something like that we had a tree with branches like it was a fake tree yeah that lived in a box yeah but then you would have put each fucking branch in one out of fucking time oh it was hell on earth it made me so mad yeah it's work maybe that yeah i think i don't like the work and i don't because it's then i got to take it down yeah and when i just stare at a tree every night I wonder, there's probably, there's probably companies that will, like, come and decorate the house inside and out, and then maybe they'll take it down, too. Oh. I was watching Shark Tank yesterday, and there was a man who was selling snow. Like, what do you mean?

Like, cold snow? I won't explain it anymore. Oh, I don't know if it was cold. Maybe it was, but you had a cup of water, or no, a cup of the shit, and then you put water in it, and then you mix it up, and then snow grows. Whoa. And then it dehydrates and then it rehydrates based on the environment. So it was like, if you open it in the house and then like something leaks, you'll have snow again? I guess.

And was it for inside the house or for like your yard? I think it's for the children to play inside the house. It's for the children. Just for the children, don't know where. But yeah, I think it's for like inside the house And instead it was for like movies and television Chart take is truly an interesting thing Isn't it wild that everything hasn't been invented?

It is actually kind of wild You would think like we probably got it covered No technology's done People are thinking of things And that's nice It is nice What do you want? Like that hasn't been invented?

Um I don't know Do you have an answer for this? Do you already... Yeah, as my hair grows out, I wish there was like a clampy thing that I could clamp on it to, like, make it re-braided.

Ooh, that's good. So I didn't have to get it touched up as often. Yeah, that's great. I wish there was a forward yelp. Forward yelp? Yeah, I'll explain it. So, okay, when you yelp things and you're driving, it tells you stuff behind you and in front of you.

But I just want to go forward. I don't want to get off the highway to go back where I came from. I see. I only want to go ahead. Mm-hmm. I walk forward, you. I like that.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, tell me what's on the way to where I'm going. Yeah. I think I'd like something that, like, would snap my bed back into place. Like, like, make my bed for me. Oh, I was confused. I was like, snap your bed back into place? I guess in my mind of visualizing, like, if the sheets are, like,

you know in the middle of the bed like I push a button and like like straightens up snaps back into place that I think is actually hard yeah well I mean unless there's like wires in your sheets how are they snapping back into

place? I don't know like a snap bracelet yeah or maybe it's like some sort of loose string that when you hit it right straightens out that's really funny

just strings in your sheets it's like well you can just make it at this point we just do it yourself that's true should we answer questions or play the BuzzFeed I'm not okay we actually got a listener email with some quiz ideas that weren't from BuzzFeed

oh let me know what you've respond to what vegetable are you what animal are you food disgust quiz which vehicle are you and then they have a Halloween one Vehicle please

Can I tell you a story? Yes I went to dinner with Madeline Our friend Madeline And she was driving a different car than she normally drives And I said where's your car And she said oh this is my brother's car Because he got an old SUV

That's a stick shipped And he's having so much fun driving it And he said that he had to make friends With the other people in the area Who drive the same car And I was like So it's a rare SUV And I was like, well, what kind is it?

And she was like, well, I'll ask him. And then she was like, oh, I'll scroll through our text to see if he texted it to me. And I was like, well, how many doors is it? She was like, definitely four doors. And I was like, okay, a rare SUV that's four doors. So I was like, it's not a Bronco. It's not a Dodge Rader or like a Mitsubishi Pajaro, which is like the cousin of the Dodge Rader.

And then I was like, but that's the only rare SUV that I've seen in our area. I once followed one because I didn't know what kind of car it was. And I was like, is that a Pajero or is that a Dodge? It looks like a Pajero, but it says Dodge. So I followed him, and I think he knew I was following him because he started driving crazy and sped away. Turns out it was a Dodge Rader, and I was correct off of nothing. Wow.

Good job. I was really proud of myself. I'm proud of you, too. I truly sent a voice memo to that nice man in my life, and I was like, guess what? I'm such a good car, bitch. I knew what car this was. And he was like, good job. I wonder if there's, like, um, car trivia games or, like, car trivia shows that

where you, like, win something for your knowledge. I don't know. Maybe. I just bought the encyclopedia cars from the editors of consumer reports, and I squealed when I found it. I can't wait to just sit on my couch and look at cars. Excited for you. And then I didn't know this.

I don't know how true this is because I didn't double check the facts, but I saw on a Reddit thread. I've always wondered why Dodge and Mitsubishi shared platforms for cars. Apparently, Dodge or Chrysler at the time, bought stake in Mitsubishi. So then they had like a percentage of ownership so they could interchange platforms. I don't know how true that is. I got to double check. Yeah.

Let's take a break. We're back. What vehicle am I? Which is your least favorite candy? Peppermint. Lollipop. Gummy bears. Liquor. Jolly Rancher. Candy corn. Ooh.

My least favorite's candy corn. Well, actually, hmm, interesting. I hate candy corn, but I would eat candy corn over licorice. I hate licorice. Yeah, that's the one I was I was like, I don't think I would eat licorice either.

I also don't like peppermint. Like a little like mint? I don't, yeah. Like, I could do the red and white ones, the suckums. Yeah. But sometimes it'll be soft. Have you heard of like I had a soft pepperminty?

Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a say licorish as well. If you took a few days off, what would you like to do? Go to the beach. Go to the mountains. Visit a museum. For a few days.

Taking a boat ride. Party. Relax at home. A few days off. I'd like to go somewhere. I think I would like to go to like a beach. I'd like to go to a beach town. Mm-hmm.

I love the water. You do love the water. I would. Probably relax at home. Mm-hmm. Which of these sports is your favorite? Basketball. Baseball.

Soccer. Football. I am a sports fanatic. I don't care for a sports. I like basketball. Hmm. Hmm. I guess.

I don't care for sports. I was thinking maybe I would say football because I've seen football the most out of all of them. Yeah, but do you enjoy watching football? No. Like, I don't watch it on my own. But if it's on and someone explains, like, the team's to me, I mostly care about the gossip

If it's like, ooh, they traded so and so and so over this team And now they're finally playing each other And da-da-da-da-da-da, you know, there's like always gossip That's very funny. That I like. You like the gossip of sports? I do.

But actually watching it, I'm like, I don't know, okay. Fair, I like basketball. I think basketball's exciting. And I've been to many a WMBA game. What is your least favorite holiday? Halloween. New Year's Eve. Christmas.

Valentine's Day. A Thanksgiving. Easter. Hmm. Easter's dumb as hell to me. Yeah, I don't really celebrate Easter. I guess when I was a kid for egg hunting. Egg coloring, egg hunting.

I just never heard it called egg hunting, but it is an Easter egg hunting. You just eliminated the Easter part of it. The Egg Hunt. The Great Egg Hunt. The Great Egg Hunt. Yeah, that's the one I care about the least. Yeah, I don't give a shit. She's a beverage.

Coffee. Smoothie. Beer. A beverage? Wine. Energy drink. Soft drink. Okay.

I'm going to say coffee. I do love wine. though. Yeah. I would say a to me. To me,

smoothie's not beverage. Smoothie food. Smoothie food. Smoothie meal replacement. Smoothie. It is food. It is a bunch of blended up food.

Maybe I would say wine out of all of these Which of these? Which of these dishes would you order at a restaurant? Sushi. Right chicken.

Seafood pasta. Steak. Mmm. Barbecue. Salad. Well, it depends on what restaurant I'm at. Am I at a sushi place or a barbecue fucking spot?

Or a steakhouse? Maybe this place is all. All of these options. That's crazy. I'm picking a steak. I'd pick fried chicken. Mm. Have you had Gus's fried chicken?

I think I have. Oh, this is nice. Mm-hmm. O'we. O'wee. O'wee, oh, Lord. Which is your favorite kind of salad dressing? Ranch.

Vinegarette. Caesar. Blue cheese is disgusting. Honey mustard. Thousand Islands pretty nasty. Ranch, obviously. I would pick vinaigrette. Oh.

This feels lighter to me. Ranch could be light. I don't think you can. It's so creamy. I just love ranch. It's such a good flower to me. Which of these animals would you choose for a pet? A bird.

Snake. Cat. Fish. Dog. Spider. Okay. Well, dog. Yeah.

That's what I have. I would say cat. I can't imagine having a snake in my house. Yeah. There's a snake in my boot. There was a video of the snake. One of those really long yellow ones that was like... Like a python?

Maybe? I don't really know the names of snakes. But it was laying like long ways next to a little girl, a child. And whatever the caption was, it was like, Aw, like, I don't know. The snake is cuddling with its owner or whatever. It's like, it's trying to be as long as the kid. And someone in the comments was like,

this snake is measuring how long this kid is to eat it. To be like, can I fill, can I fit this kid inside me? Yeah. Oh, my God. That's wild. Yeah, I don't want a predator in my house. I know. The world's scurry enough.

Truly. Yeah. If you were in a rock band, which member would you be? Lead guitar. Singer. Rhythm guitar. Drums. Bass guitar.

Sound control, man. That's so funny. That someone's like, I want to be sound control. It's also very important. It is important, but really behind the scenes. I'm going to be the singer. Are you kidding? Maybe I'd be lead guitar.

Can you take me? That did look like the creed guy. Scott Staff? Yes. I think so. I think that's his name. Uh-oh. Choose a color.

But there's no color names. Oh, no. Red. Why would they do it like that? A couple. Okay. There's a mystery color. Mystery color.

Red. Mystery color. Blue. Black. yellow they also need to type it out because what if someone's colorblind and they're interpreting this color is differently able as much what side of this yeah what side is this they're ableist cancel them i'm gonna say red um I would say I like yellow cheery safety color is it a safety color is it a safety color Yeah.

Like caution tape? Is that me? Yeah, this is you. I'm a luxury car. You enjoy the finer things in life. You are the one everyone turns to see as you enter the room from young to old people secretly want to be you. Yeah! That makes sense.

I'm also a luxury car? I feel like my answers are pretty different from yours. I mean, some were similar, I guess. This quiz says no one's different. You're all the same. You're all luxury cars. You're all luxury cars. And isn't that nice?

But yeah, if we're all luxury cars, are we luxury cars? Yeah, that's interesting. If everything's a luxury car, what's actually luxury? Exactly. But also, that's not a luxury car. What kind is that? It's a sports car. It's a sports luxury car.

Yeah. Because a luxury car. cars technically like a Cadillac like a sedan but I also thought they were going to be specific which like what car you're going to be like a Mitsubishi eclipse Exactly

What car would you be? Mitsubishi 3,000 GT Or a geotracker or a Suzuki sidekick Or Suzuki Jiminy What would you be? You got to tell me because I don't know cars

You're a RAF4 Yeah But not this general generation, second generation rave for. I like that. Reliable. Should we answer queries and questions and whatnot? Let's do that.

Does my crush like me quiz? I've taken those quizzes before, and truly most of the questions are like, do they ignore you? Do they hit you? Have they spit on you? Do they close your eyes when you walk into the roof? Do they know your name? Like truly those are the questions. And there's been times where I'm like, yep, they close their eyes when I walk in the room.

They don't know my name. It's like, they don't like you. That's funny. This is called I Have a Query. It's a doozy. So Hold. I'm recently going through a divorce from my husband of 12 years. I found out shortly after the separation, he was dating slash sleeping with a friend of mine. She wasn't a close friend, so it was easy to cut her out of my life. But now I just found out he also slept with my cousin's wife, who's also my best friend. It happened two years ago, well before. the separation and while I was sleeping downstairs. Apparently, they had an emotional connection that included texts, pictures, videos, well before the hookup happened. So here's my question. What the heck do I do? First, she is family and everyone knows how close we are, so family functions are going to be awkward if we're not speaking. Second, I know my evil ex manipulated her. She was going through a rough patch with her husband and took the opportunity. There seems to be similar patterns of manipulation that my ex used to sleep with my BFF and my ex-friend.

Should I factor this into how I feel about my BFF? My cousin decided to continue with the marriage and work through things, but I'm still hurt. Help. Love you guys. That cousin's not a friend. Yeah. Even if she was manipulated, she still chose to do a thing that she knew would hurt you. I think if you can forgive and forget, nah, do it.

But also, you don't owe anything to that person. They actually really betrayed your trust. Yeah. And I think you don't have to not speak. I think you could be very cordial. Yeah. Yeah. You can still, like, see this person, but you don't have to be best friends anymore.

And I agree. Like, I don't doubt that your ex was a manipulator, but everyone's an adult in the situation and everyone makes choices. Mm-hmm. And also, it sounds like it wasn't like a heat of the moment. we like you know we were drunk and we had sloppy sex there was an emotional affair and texting before they even had sex so it sounds like there was time to think about it that sucks upstairs while you were sleeping that makes even less sense because it's like oh we were out of town

and none of our partners were here yes it's like no you know who's down stairs they wanted to hurt you that's fucking grimy yeah that's nasty yeah I think nasty work I think it's like it's okay to be distant with this person. If you feel like, you know, you don't want to cut them out of your life completely because they're your family, you don't have to. But, yeah, no,

you definitely don't owe them your kindness. Yeah. They have personality privileges. I agree. I think your bland as can be. Sure, if you want to talk to me, tell me what you need to say. Yeah.

Okay, well, I got to go. Yeah. Hi, how are you? I'm fine. Yeah, keep it civil But Yikes I don't like her

She's disgusting I know Yeah I'm kind of like Throw everyone away Yeah Throw them away Everyone's bad Throw the friends away

Yeah Ew Start fresh Yeah Yeah these people They suck They suck I don't like that

They're waste fucking Leashes These are waist Leash people Nasty Solved solved. Okay. Hi, Nicole and Sashir. I'm such a big fan of you both, and I wanted to get your

perspective on something, especially after hearing you talk about babies on a recent episode. I had a baby one year ago, but it was quite late in life at 38 after I made a close group of friends without kids. At first, everyone was excited, but it has been made clear that my baby is not of interest to the group. I reach out and ask about their work, relationships, families, and I like when I write about the kid, they usually reply with a shallow, cute, or something not engaged. I don't expect people to care about my baby as much as me, obviously, but she's a huge part of my life and they simply don't care. I think it wouldn't bother me as much, except for a few of these friends love to say how they are such good aunties when we're all hanging out, but my

baby could not pick them out of a lineup. When do I bring my baby, or when I do bring my baby to see one or a few of them, they love a photo op, but I cannot tell you how quickly their faces fall when they hand her back to me. And then it's as if she wasn't there at all. Wild behavior. I want to stay close to them. So I've kind of learned to just not talk about my baby. But it kind of feels like I'm in the closet.

Like I'm hiding a huge aspect of myself from the people who claim to know me best. What do you think I should do? Thanks so much. Get new friends. Make friends with people with kids because I hate to be an asshole. I don't like kids. Like, and if a friend has a kid, I'll be nice, but I'm not going to, like, go out of my way to hang out with this kid and do stuff. But also, I'm not walking around being like, I'm the best auntie or whatever.

Yeah. But I think it's just, like, you got to find people who have kids. Like, get, you know, go to like a mommy and me class and, like, talk to people, go to the playground, talk to people. Because those people, they made a choice to not have children. Yeah. So I think it's kind of tough to be like. oh, I'm going to force a child on you. But also we as a society

just have to be nicer about children as someone who doesn't like them. Yeah, and that's a lot coming from me. Because, I mean, they are a part of society. It's whatever. Yeah. And I don't want to hear them cry on my plane, but, like, it's part of life.

Yeah. Yeah. I also, like, I don't want to, like, question this person's experience. But I also wonder if maybe they're a little paranoid about how much their friends don't like kids Because like, yeah, projecting a little bit. Maybe projecting a little bit.

Like maybe, you know, again, like you said, these are people who chose not to have children. So it might not be like they dislike your kid. They might just not know what to say about it or like what to like how to operate around your child or like what to even ask you because they don't have. Like it is a totally different experience. And that's okay, which yeah, maybe be best to find friends who do know that experience. And that doesn't mean, like, don't have these other friends who don't have kids. Like, the longer you are friends and your child grows up, sometimes people come back into your life and they're like, I'm cool hanging out with a toddler. I'm cool hanging out with a teen.

Like, some people are like, like having a baby is such a precious moment and like such a wildly different time for the mom and your friends. So, yeah, these people might not actually know what. to do. But yeah, I hope you can find a way to like keep these people in your life while also find people who you can connect with

because this is such a like monumental change in your life that you should have support for but you might not be able to get it from these friends unfortunately. Yeah. Yeah. Salt?

Because it is touchy. It's very like kids are a touchy thing. Because it's like, oh, we're friends, so you should accept that I have a baby with me now. But it's like, oh, I didn't sign up for that. Yeah. And it's okay to not want to be around a kid. And it's okay to want a kid. It's just you've got to find that, like, happy medium.

Yeah. Yeah. And also, like, your friends probably want to just, like, talk to you as a friend, not as a mom. Yeah. But if you have a baby, your life is your baby. And that is okay. Yes. But you were just talking to the wrong audience.

Yeah. To me it's like, oh, no, this is going to be the worst analogy ever. I don't like pickles. So if somebody kept coming to the function with pickles, I'd be like, oh, my God. This pickle bitch. This pickle bitch. So they're like, oh, my God, this baby keeps coming around. I mean, it's not like, it's a very specific thing.

If we had like an engineer friend who wanted to talk about all the projects they're working on, I would have no idea what they're talking about. but I'd be like, cool. That's great. Good for you. That sounds, you sound like you like it. So that sounds great. But I wouldn't understand what they're saying because I don't, I didn't study it.

I don't do it. But I'm glad they're happy. Yeah, I think it's just like, it is different because they don't have that lived experience. Solved? One more. Okay. This is called How Do I Make Friends When Everyone Wants to Fuck Me? Cool.

just before you even get into it cool you seem like a cool person it's like if you see when people are making fun people and they're like oh my food is too good my house is too large oh no oh my god everybody wants to fuck me

okay let's hear this one um okay hi Nicole and Sashir I'm indie they them late 20s I love both y'all's work I take I have heaps of praise for both of y'all, but I'm going to breeze past all that to try to keep this email short. My question is, I'd love to get closer to some of the people I met through a new hobby,

but how do I make close platonic friends when most of everyone wants to fuck me? To give some context to this insane ask, I'm bisexual, slutty, polyamorous, and I've been out a lot longer than most people my age. I'm not the hottest person in the world by any means, but I'm an adrogynous in a way that makes me relatively conventionally attractive to a lot of different types of queer people. More than anything, I have no filter and my interests in parentheses ADHD and am non-threatening, goofy, and confident. I tend to gravitate towards queer-focused and or sex-positive communities because I feel the most welcome and uninhibited in these places. And I'm actively looking to make new friends that are local because I only have two long-distance friends right now.

At the same time, I'm taking at least a year-long break from all types of dating after my most recent ex, even casual stuff, because I need better relationship boundaries before I try again. I was setting myself on fire to keep my last two exes warm for a total of seven years. Okay, I'm skipping ahead a little. I took y'all's advice and joined a sports club thingy for queer and trans adults two months ago, and it's been really great. I felt possible friend connections with, like, four people amongst the 15-ish regulars. There's one guy who's cool, but seems unavailable time and energy-wise. The other three of them seem more available and interested, but have been flirting with me extremely obviously. Doing things like lingering looks and touches, explaining their dating availability,

talking about general interest in non-binary folks, complimenting the way I look. I haven't felt much of a connection to the other attendees yet, but I have noticed, several flirting with me as well. I don't really mind receiving that energy. I would probably be interested in different circumstances, but I'm not trying to flirt with anyone. I just like to share about myself and wear the clothes I enjoy when I'm in a safe queer space. It's felt hard to get my foot in the door beyond friendly acquaintanceship with anyone. The only social part is loitering after class to chat, which means I'd need to ask people to hang out directly to get to know them better and could be misinterpreted as more than friendly. I'm worried I'm going to be too much of a

bummer if I try to get louder and clearer about why I'm only looking for friends. While I'm okay to friend zone people if I'm asked out directly, I'd like to avoid giving off the vibes that might lead to that scenario in the first place. So yeah, cats already out of the bag that I'm a slut with no filter and I'm willing to change my crop top and beauty short wearing ways, but any suggestions for how to clearly ask people to hang out as friends? Should I just wait around for someone else to invite me to a social thing and adjust expectations as needed? Should I get a T-shirt that says, I love celibacy? Will it mix the message if I then crop that shirt?

Help. They do sound hot and I'm so glad they're so confident. And also, like, you can be clear, just like the people who are. who are flirting with you are making obvious signs because they're like you're a new person to me I don't know you

what's your deal you can be like you can also make obvious signs too and be like I'm looking for friends I just I've never had that problem this is pretty foreign to me

I don't understand why they can't just invite a group of people like out and just be like I love I like that I'm making friends. Yeah, it does sound

like they're complicating it a little bit more. They are leading with, oh, my fucking, I'm horny. I don't know what parts they got. I was going to say something about a pussy, but I don't know if they have one. But like, if you're leading with sex, then people are going to

respond to that. Yeah, I really, I don't understand. I fundamentally don't understand this predicament. Yeah. I mean, I've never been in it before, but I can, I can, I can,

hear what they're asking for which is like how do I ask these people in my circle to be friends ask them to go hang out like if you're like there's three people you're interested in ask a group to go out and then hang with each other and even if they're flirting

you can reject it like you can not give the same flirt energy back and then hopefully they'll either pick up the queue or while you're talking and getting to know these people will be like yeah I'm in a place in my life where I'm really trying not to date at all and trying to like, you know, make good platonic connections and hopefully they hear that and be like, oh, okay, not in the place to have sex or whatever right

now. And then they get to decide, do I want to continue seeing this person as a friend or am I just trying to fuck and I'll go find somebody else? Yeah. I think the answer is just a group hang. Yeah, a group hang. Yeah. be clear yeah yes clear with your intentions group hang yeah you can also truly just out loud

say i want to make friends yeah i'm looking to make friends would you all like to go do this have friendship night at chilis we'll all get skillet koso and have a nice time yeah yeah it's so funny that i think i think sometimes it seems easier to like have a hookup than to ask somebody to be your friend it's more vulnerable it is It is, yeah. Because it's like, all right, so you see my body. Mm-hmm. And I might not see you again.

Yeah. But you're like, can I see you often? I want to see you often. I want to tell you things. I want to hang out with you. So, yeah, just put yourself out there friendship-wise. Yeah. And I don't think you need to change the way you dress.

Sluts have friends. Yeah, lots of sluts have friends. You can still be sledding. Yeah. And if you wanted to, if you, like, felt comfortable. Like, it's also not a problem to sleep with your friends. Don't immediately sleep with them because that might be confusing. But.

And have boundaries about it. But this person said, I think they said that they didn't want to have sex at all. Or be romantically involved. So it's like, yeah, just clean cut. Oh, no kissing here. Mm-hmm. None. Yeah.

Yeah. Because you're in control of that part. Mm-hmm. You can always say no. No. No means no. Mm-hmm. Solved.

Solved. Well, that's it for this episode of Best Friends. If you have a question, a query, Concern, a compliment. Our phone number is 323-23-23-28-6554. And we have an email, Nicole and Sashir at gmail.com. Okay, well, goodbye. Okay, goodbye.

Best Friends is a production of Headgun Studios. Our producer is Ali Khan. Our executive producer is Anya Kanof-Skaya. The show is edited, mixed, and engineered by Rochelle Chen. What's going on? It's Lamorn Morris. And Hannah Simone. And we host The Mess Around, a New Girl rewatch podcast now on Headgum.

Now, here's the thing. Every single week, we chat about an episode of New Girl. And we really get into it. Like, we get up in there. We get up in there. You know, we reminisce about our time's on set. We share behind the scenes tea. We react to rewatching episodes that we haven't seen in years.

We talk about how Jake Johnson is dog. That's not true. We talk about so many memories we have of working with the biggest stars on the planet. I'm talking Prince, Taylor Swift, Olivia Rodrigo. We're just two BFFs having a good old time, okay? Sometimes we even talk to other co-stars

like Zoe Day Chanel, Jake Johnson, Max Greenfield, and Damon Wayne's Jr. And your dad. We talk to your dad on this show as well. Make sure you subscribe to the mess around wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes drop every single Tuesday.