Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Nicole Loves Laughter!

Episode Date: March 15, 2023

What did YOU think of the Oscars? This week, Nicole and Sasheer discuss an award show they haven’t watched yet, why we all love Ke Huy Quan, Nicole’s DIY Instagram obsession continuing, Sasheer & Nicole’s commitment to take care of each other when they are old, read about “platonic spouses,” and more! They take a quiz to see what color of hair they should really have, and answer listener questions on how to improvise while playing DnD with friends, if a friend was rude for not paying attention to you at their birthday party, and assigning rooms when traveling.  Here is the article we read: https://www.nytimes.com/2021/05/01/fashion/weddings/from-best-friends-to-platonic-spouses.html Here is the quiz we took: https://www.buzzfeed.com/joannaborns/which-hair-color-matches-your-personality Email or call Nicole & Sasheer with your friendship questions at:[e-mail] Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link https://siriusxm.com/friends and code FRIENDS.

Hi friends, we are celebrating 200 episodes by doing a whole episode where we look back at our favorite moments of the show. And to do that, we need a little help from you. We want to hear your favorite moments from best friends. Was it when we wondered about chickens, when we gushed over the TV show You with Penn Badgley, when we decided to name Nicole's future child Deuteronomy, or any other moment of the show. Leave us a voicemail at 424-645-7003 or you can email us at nicoleandsagere at gmail.com and share with us what your favorite moment has been and why. And if you say what episode it is or even give a timestamp, Kimmy on the Keys will be so grateful

and will love you forever. We can't wait to hear from you and listen on the show. Sashir! Nicole! The Oscars happened on sunday what yes but why are we going to talk about it we don't know why i don't want to talk with oscars why they happened on sunday but we can't actually talk about it because What do you mean? I'm talking to you off the show right now. I would like to cut this part out because it doesn't

make sense for us to talk about the Oscars because we have not watched the Oscars so there's nothing for us to talk about. Hey, fair. I don't think we should cut it out. I think you should put me in my place and let everyone know. Actually, no. You pick it up. I'd love to hear your thoughts on the Oscars. I think everyone dressed really well oh yeah which was your favorite you know i gotta say angela baxter did a thing

and she just keeps doing things she keeps doing the thing to show you're absolutely right. We're recording this before the Oscars on Sunday. So I have no idea what anyone's worn. I have no idea who's won. And I'm not sure why I asked you what your thoughts were about something that has not happened yet. That's okay. You know me.

I'm full of fun and surprises. you know i have a feeling we liked a lot of it and some of it we probably had questions about so many questions okay here's my thought i think uh-oh i'm not gonna pronounce his name correct and i really should i should learn it the lead the two leads from everything, everywhere, all at once, Michelle Yeoh. And what is his name? I feel like an asshole because it's been said this whole award season. And I cannot. And I don't want to butcher it by guessing. You know, it's one thing to call Carl a cursey or something.

But like, you know, like, one thing to call Carl a cursi or something, but like, you know. What? Cursi? Like, I don't know. Like a name that I'm used to fucking that up as a name I'm not used to fucking that up feels like intentionally rude. Can you pronounce it?

Kehu Kwan? Is that how you say it? Kehu Kwan? I really don't know. I don't think I've actually heard it said. I've heard it. Hmm. I'm so sorry. I think it's Kehukwan, but I'm trying to confirm that. Kehukwan, I think. Oh, God, I'm terrible pronouncing names like I once had to introduce. I think I've said this to you before, but I once had to introduce the cast of One Day at a Time. And they had, a lot of people had Spanish names or Hispanic names.

I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say. But I fucked them all up. And I was like, guys, I'm really sorry. So when you sit down, please just pronounce your name the way it's pronounced. And then I had a really easy one at the end. It was like Steve, Steve Day. And I was like, and then i had a really easy one at the end it was like steve steve day and i was like because i was like i can't pronounce one name correctly it's just i see letters and then it's hard yeah am i dumb no am i illiterate aren't you like slightly dyslexic oh yeah baby yeah i'll do ads for why won't you date me and i used to do them by myself but now i have to do it with my producer mars because she's like you switch sentences she's like you've switched whole sentences or you move a line from the the line underneath into the line up the top kimmymy, have you ever noticed me doing that?

I try really hard. I do bad. She smiled. She's like, yeah. But you add spice to it, which makes it more fun. So it's always fine. Sometimes in our ads this year, I finish that and I go,

that was bad and I'm sorry. I mean, at least you're aware. Yeah, oh, I'm fully aware that I'm really not good at them. The only ads I actually really like doing are those McDonald ads because I go ba-da-ba-ba-ba in between, like, every line.

I'm sure they're loving that. Well, I'm like, I wonder if they even listened to it. Because if they did, I think they'd be like, wait a minute, this woman, she's unwell. Why is she the one doing it? The other one seems fine. She should do it. No, I think they like it. I hope so.

But that actor we're talking about. Yes. I stumbled upon his Instagram the other day. And it's so sweet because, you know, he had a long gap in between the Goonies. Is that what he was in before? Raiders, Goonies and Raiders of the Lost Ark. He was a child actor. Yeah.

Yeah. To a really long break until adulthood and uh and so when he's at these award shows he's like taking pictures like a fan and he's like with you know nicole kidman he's like pointing at her like a huge smile like i can't believe i'm meeting her it's so cute. I love that. I watched a devastating video that he was in where, because the movie had to pause for COVID and he wasn't getting auditions and he was about to like lose his SAG insurance and he was like calling his agent.

He was like, I keep getting put on tape for things and I'm not getting hired for anything. Like when is it going to happen? And he's like, am I even good in the movie? Cause he hadn't seen any of it. And his agent was like, you're incredible. Just wait. And I was like, damn, like it sucks. It sucks that shit has to happen that way. And then the guy who plays the grandfather, again, I don't know his name. He had an incredible speech at the sag awards where he was like they wouldn't let asians play asians because they didn't think we were good

enough and then he did like he like pulled his eyes back and truly was roasting white people in hollywood and it made me laugh so hard it's a good movie i really really like some people thought it was overrated but i was like what's overrated about like a really fun world that was created with its own rules with fabulous actors every single person is great in it yeah no i thought it was incredible i really liked it i saw in a theater where i don't know everyone was kind of stupid during the okay we i we have a pronunciation guide k ho kwan okay jesus christ i'm illiterate like it's written out the middle one was hard i didn't know how to do we it's like really close together but yeah he we want we want he we want i hope i meet him one day and i go listen i learned it i learned how to say your name because i like you a bunch oh the line in the movie where he was like i would

have loved to have spent my time with you just loving you and doing taxes i'm bastardizing that line i cried i was like oh my god I want someone to love me like that. Yeah. Yeah, I want someone to just love me and do taxes with me. Yeah. Sure isn't that what you want? Somebody to love you and do taxes with you?

I mean, I would like us to do other stuff too. No, just taxes once a year in April. No, you never go anywhere. You just do taxes in April. You just wait for tax season. And then the 11 months, you just love each other. Come on. No, I guess I want someone to do stuff with.

Do you remember I told you I was getting into DIY Instagram? Yeah. It's getting deep. It's getting deep it's getting deep and i keep ordering things thinking i could do it myself and then i get these things and then i go i can't do this so i just have like cans of paint and brushes in my house that i'm never gonna use wait when you thought when you told me that you're gonna paint your walls are were you planning on you painting them nicole no i know it's bad it's really bad because you have to like cover stuff and you know i'm not gonna cover a thing no you know i'm gonna have paint dripping on all of my belongings and like get to perfect lines oh god i know i know

well not with this lime wash paint this lime wash paint that I found doesn't have to be perfect. The whole point is text your baby. But I mean, from like the wall to the ceiling. Oh, shit. Yeah, man. I don't trust that you'll not get it on the ceiling a little bit. I don't trust that I'll finish it. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's tough in the streets doing any old thing. It's tough in the streets doing any old thing. When I was in New York, one of my first apartments, I painted my room. I actually painted the whole apartment different colors because it was like very cheap. Not every room had a window. And we were like, paint will make it better. And like the kitchen was pink. The living room was orange.

My room was blue. And then I painted it like a golden rod color at one point. The hallway was green. And I lost my mind. I felt like I was going insane. Painting over and over and over again. Because it's never enough paint. You paint one coat and then you're like, I still see the color from underneath. And then you got to paint another coat and another coat.

And my arms or my back were tired. It was a mess. Yeah, I shouldn't do it. My old, I shouldn't do it because my old roommate who lived in a room that looked like my closet, because it was a very weird apartment. So I lived technically in the dining room. We had a living room, dining room situation,

but we were all like, the dining room could just be a room., dining room situation, but I was, we were all like the dining room could just be a room. So we asked our landlord to put up these cheap, nasty doors. And then you had to walk through my room to get to my friend's room, which was just like a sliding door that it truly looked like a closet. And then you opened it and the whole world, it was a different room. She painted her room red. Who does red and she only did one coat and she said that's fine with me and it was streaky and it looked like hell it was awful and then a new roommate moved in and painted the walls white but didn't go all the way to the ceiling so there was just like hell red at the top and then just like weird primer white at the bottom.

And you know what? Okay. Now I'm thinking of these things. I cannot paint myself. No, I think you should get someone to do it for you. Okay. Hey, Sashir, remember we were talking about Girl Scout cookies? Oh, yes.

And we took a poll to find out people like them. Is that what we did? Yes, we did yes we did because you are in team i don't like anti you were anti oh my god so we did a pool we did a poll on airwol's Twitter, and this was the result. Could one of you walk us through it? 87.4% said they love them. 12.6% said they hate them. So it looks like the only smart people in the world are 12.6 of them.

I'm honestly shook that more people don't dislike wait wait i'm more i'm i thought more people would not like them oh that was tough that was tough for me to say yeah i love them but also maybe the appeal is like because they're only around every so often like maybe if they're around all year people wouldn't care that much like the McRib well oh the McRib have you ever had a McRib I don't think I've ever had one I actually don't think I've had one wait I need to know what okay meet the cookies. I'm online looking at the cookies. Ew, there's new ones? Ugh. Okay, so we all like Raspberry Rally, which is a thin, crispy cookie

dipped with raspberry flavor, dipped in chocolatey coating. You like that, Sashir? I don't think I've had it. Hmm, okay. Really, the only ones I like are Tagalons. Well, I'm going to tell you all of them. We're meeting the cookies.

Yes, let's meet the cookies. Adventurefuls, which is indulgent brownie-inspired. Get real. A brownie-inspired cookie? What the fuck does that mean? It's either a brownie or it's not, okay? And that's a brownie-inspired cookie topped with caramel-flavored creme

with a hint of sea salt. They have chocolate chip cookies? You want me to eat a rock-hard chocolate chip gluten-free cookie? Get real. A caramel delight? It used to be called a Samoa? A Samosa?

Why did they change it? be called a samoa a samosa why do they change it was it a samoa or a samosa oh maybe it was a samoa i think it was a samoa and why they changed it well isn't there a whole group aren't there samoans that maybe didn't want to be named after a cookie hmm maybe the girls guy should have thought about that before they named it that. Well, I'm sure they named it in like 1952, where you didn't really think about stuff like that. Bigots. Little bigots. Well, that's why they changed it.

Little bigots. And guess what? I remember. You little bigots. And then there's a do-si-do, which is a peanut butter sandwich. And then there's a Girl Scout s'more. Ugh. A graham cracker cookie with chocolate marshmallow filling. Lemonades!

Shortbread with tangy lemon icing. Lemonups, lemon cookies, ugh. Tagalongs, you like them. Thin mints, I think they're disgusting. Toast, yay! A yummy toast-shaped cookie. No, if I'm eating toast, I'm eating toast. If I'm eating a cookie, round the fuck up.

Full of French toast flavor and dipped in delicious icing. Toffee-tastic, another gluten-free one. And I'm not making fun of people who need to eat gluten-free. I'm just having a nice time. But rich, buttery cookies with sweet, crunchy toffee bits. And then a tree foil, which is the only acceptable one. I do like a tree foil. I do like a shortbread cookie.

I think they're delicious. My favorite thing is those blue tins where you open them up and it has a whole bunch of different shortbread cookies. The worst part about those tins is you open them up and sometimes they're sewing shit inside. Yeah, it's never the cookies. No. It's the cookies one time and then there's items, just household items in there. Yeah, things that I've never wanted to eat in there. That was my grandmother's house.

She had tons of those. None of them had cookies in it. Very rude. Very rude. I can't believe people like Girl Scout cookies. It's so wild to me. But, you know, you had a good amount of who didn't. Barely. Barely. Barely. It was 12. to me. But you know, you had a good amount of who didn't. Barely, barely, barely.

It was 12.6. Yeah. But those people are all my friends. Yeah. We're going to start a group. I love joy. Sister, you don't say that. You know I love laughter.

You know I love laughter. This is true. You love to laugh. It's one of my favorite things. Yeah. I love to laugh. It's one of my favorite things. Yeah. I sound really dumb. It's one of my favorite things. Me, I love laughter.

I went to Chicago recently, and my grandpa, I think he was trying to ask me if I was dating somebody, because he was like, oh, I said something about not wanting kids. And he said, well, who's going to take care of you when you're old? And I said, so sheer. And then he said, sometimes things don't work out the way you think they are. And I said, wait, you just hold on.

So then I texted this year and I said, hi, hello. When we get really old, do you like 90? Do you want to take care of each other? And she said, sure. And then I showed my grandpa. I made the font bigger and everything. So as little as I could see it, I said, grandpa, look, so she said that we're going to take care of each other. And then he was like, well, what is she?

What is she? Who is she? And I said, she's my best friend. And then I pulled up a picture of us together and he went, oh, okay. She seems nice. And then afterwards i was like wait does my grandpa think i just came out to him because every picture was us hugging oh but he was okay with it so yay i'm glad i got the stamp of approval also i didn't say sure i said yes exclamation point oh no questions unequivocally yes let's take care of each other i'm kind of excited about it because okay like okay here's

what i think we should do we should keep our homes and then move to and then buy a smaller home together in the middle so it's like i want wanna go to my house for a little bit, but then it's like, uh-oh, I'm dropping things and falling down. Gotta go back to the house that we shared so she can help me up. So we can spend a little time away from each other, but then we can take care of each other

at the house in the middle. I like that, yes. Or should we just get rid of our houses and get one house i don't think either of us want to get rid of our houses no i love my house so much i love my house filled it up with all sorts of wallpaper or maybe we can spend time at each other's houses, have sleepovers. Okay, that works. And then we'll have a man who'll be our nurse, but he'll be a very hot man and a hot lady because when we're old, we throw all cares out the window. Who cares about gender?

I'm 90. And then, oh, maybe we'll have a non-binary too who fucking cares as long as they're hot and they're gonna rotate so we don't get tired of them and they're gonna take care of us and they're gonna usher us from house to house in a very very nice uh mercedes sprinter van like we're on set well here's the thing they're pretty easy to get into if it's like an escalate that's like hard to get into and if it's like a lower car it might be hard for us to get out of it so i'm just looking out for our knees it sounds like you have a plan i like this i just came up with it right now oh but wait Kimmy, you said you found an article talking about

platonic friends living together? Ooh. What was it? Let's hear about it. From best friends to platonic spouses. Some people are taking their friendships to the next level saying I do to marriages without sex. I'm gonna fuck other people this year. Is that okay?

Yeah, that is okay with me. Okay. First came blood brothers brothers best friends who would solidify their bond by cutting themselves and swapping a bit of blood i've heard about that and i was always like y'all are crazy did you ever do that this year i never did i get okay thank god thank god i would have thoughts about you then came i mean not bad ones i would just be like she's been blood joined with somebody. Then came tiny house best friends. Friends moving into adjoining tiny houses.

Bestie Roe in Texas, for example. Today, some people are taking their friendships a giant step further. They're platonically marrying each other, vowing to never leave each other's side for better or worse. Jay somebody and Christy somebody donned wedding gowns and walked down the aisle, exchanged rings and shared their first and only kiss. And this woman's going to change her last name. Oh, wow. I'm not going to change my last name. I also am not going to change my last name. And I don't think we need to have like a ceremony or whatever. We're 90.

Well, why does it have it? we have to wait till we're 90? Oh, we can do it sooner. When are you trying to do it? 80, 70, 65, 52, 40? I mean, we're kind of already work wives. We are like platonic spouses. But when are we gonna start living together? I don't think we have to.

But when are we gonna to start living together? I don't think we have to. But when are we going to start having sleepovers? We can have sleepovers whenever we want. Okay. So it started. Great. Yeah. Some people who are married don't necessarily live together. You know?

You are correct. Okay. The besties, both queer and open to dating anyone but each other. Men in 2011 decide to get married in September. They sleep in the same bed, but their relationship remains platonic. They got married because they wanted to be legally and socially recognized as a family. That's nice. I don't need to legally be recognized as family.

You just are my family yeah i agree and i guess like socially we are family because people do ask me about you and stuff and then i go that's her business you have to ask her and i'm like of course i know what's going on there are no statistics about the number of platonic best friend marriages and many people who are in them aren't open about their situation but chat boards on reddit and within smaller asexual and aromantic communities have popped up recently suggesting this could be the larger portion of the marriage population the numbers portray asexuals define as having little to no sexual attraction towards each other aromantic means having a little to no desire for

romantic relationships hetero monogamous is a sexual relationship between a man and a woman interesting i'm the opposite of aomantic. Aromance. I'm a very romantic person. I love romance. Platonic marriages raise an interesting question related to what elements are the most important in marriage and what needs partners theoretically must meet for marriage to succeed,

said Jess Carborino, a marriage expert who lives in Los Angeles, California, and is a former sociologist for the dating apps Tinder and Bumbo. Interesting. I like this. I like it too. I think it's really fun to just like, I feel like, especially with men,

and the reason why I like the show that I'm on, Grand Crew, is the men on our show hug each other and, like, love each other and showcase that in a way where I feel like in years past they would have been like, this show's real gay. And it's like, no, no. And there's nothing wrong with being gay, but it's like just, like, the act of loving a friend platonically seems gay when it's not.

Does that, am i making sense yeah i think like it's just like uh how we were raised like yeah toxically making it yeah making it seem like one being gay is a bad thing and two that if you show any affection to the same sex that means you're gay yeah and i say i love you all the time mm-hmm teary-eyed well i just love you so much sometimes i can't overweld i think that's okay do you want to read this last part yeah meeting people is hard getting a bond and romantic feelings is hard and more and more young people are starting to realize that there are other benefits to marriage other than romantic love i mean isn't the point to marry your best friend oh so why can't it be your literal best friend i like that nice that's nice i just did

an episode of why won't you date me with gabrielle dennis and she said something that was really interesting she was like i think being in like is more important than being in love because you have to like the person the person has to like you in order for love to matter and i was like oh fuck i've definitely said like I love you to people that I didn't quite like. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's like, I love this person. It's like, I like them. Mm hmm.

Yeah. No, I've been there. You know? Mm hmm. But I love you. I love you and I like you. I like you so much. I'm so excited to see you next week.

Is it next week? Mm hmm. Am I seeing you so much. I'm so excited to see you next week. Is it next week? Am I seeing you next week? Is that the end of March? Are you coming here? I'm coming the last weekend of March. I've gotten zero details from you. You know what's interesting? That's like that lady from the episode that comes out after this one.

What? You are absolutely right. I have not given you any sort of details. Listen, it's still on. I haven't gotten a job so far. And if I continue to not have a job, I'm coming the last week in March. Yay. Should I bring gifts?

Yeah, bring me gifts. Okay. I'm going to think good and hard about a gift to bring you. Last time I came, I tried to bring her a chair and the airline took it from me. Isn't that mean? That's very mean. But then also, I would have to figure out how to bring that home. It's good that the airport, that Delta stole a chair from me.

Yes, it is good. But P.S. Still love Delta. Love them. Diamond Diva for the rest of my fucking life. Can I just tell you? The Delta Lounge in Chicago is pure opulence. Really?

Yes. Stunning, beautiful. Oh, the colors. I loved it. It's really nice. And let me tell you, the American Airlines Lounge at LAX, boo-boo, trash, nasty. So she... Oh.

No. What? What were you going to say? Come on. What were you going to say? Please tell me. No, because you sounded like you were going to start a different topic.

But what were you going to say? It sounded like you were going to start a different topic. I was going to ask if you wanted to do a quiz, but I'd rather hear... Oh, so you wanted to silence me. I topic. I was going to ask if you wanted to do a quiz, but I'd rather hear what you're going to say. Oh, so you wanted to silence me. I see. I was starting to talk,

and you were like, let's do a quiz. Wow! February really is over. Even my sister is trying to silence me. This is black on black crime. Okay. Here's all I wanted to say. say yes i did my eyebrows the other

day and i'm pretty proud of them oh okay what did you do to them you plucked i i like took a a little blade to them it sounds insane wait yeah please explain it's one of those like little straight razors that's on a stick if you will and i just kind of traced under to clean up and they look a little thin right now but once you fill them in with like a pen or no a pencil i like a eyebrow pencil they look really good. Oh yeah. Yes, Jordan has one. Jordan has one. And that's the same color I have. Now, is there like a benefit to doing it that way versus with a tweezer? Does it matter? Yeah, it goes faster.

And I am embracing a fact about me. I am not here for details. That's not what I do. Broad strokes is who I am details what's it called minutia tedious tasks

not for me and that's okay and that is okay you just figure out how to work around the details thank you thank you I've been trying this like eyebrow growth serum stuff oh i forgot what it's called but it's in a gold tube and um gold tube what are you a rockefeller

and the tube itself is gold that's the only way it could be stored um and they were like do it every day for i think six weeks or something and i don't remember to do it every day and i don't know what we come on i'm sorry i was like i'll just use it until it's out and well hopefully that'll work that shit's hard it's hard i don't do anything every day except for me either wake up and eat yeah me too actually there's been days i have not woken up i mean i'm not dead sometimes but like you know how like you'll sleep all day i don't think you do that do you do that have you ever done that not as an adult no you don't get so sad about life that you just stay in bed all day and then leave your bed to eat some goobers and then get back in bed.

No. Interesting. Okay. So just me here. And it was definitely not just you. I have other friends who do that. No, no, no. It's just me.

I'm alone. No solidarity. February is over. No, I think it like I have a theory. Nothing can hurt you if you're asleep. So like when my when I woke up to the. Did we talk about it on the podcast that my office flooded a little? Or did I?

I don't think we mentioned it. No. OK. I think I was too upset that day. Maybe or maybe I mentioned it? I don't think we mentioned it. No. Okay. I think I was too upset that day maybe, or maybe I mentioned it. I don't know. But the day that my office was flooded and in my living room, there was a leak and my garage had a leak. I was like, I can't do this. Water is bad. It makes things smell mildewy. Like I have to get rid of my carpet in here. bad it makes things smell mildewy like i have to get rid of my carpet in here um so i just after we recorded i went right back to sleep until the minute i had to do another thing and then when i

got home went right back to sleep because i was like i don't want to deal with this and nothing can hurt me and i don't know what water is when i'm sleeping i guess i don't know my brain I don't I so like your brain forgets what water is as soon as you go to sleep uh huh cause I'm not I don't I don't have like uh very vivid dreams so literally nothing

can hurt me when I'm sleeping I'm just out I do have vivid dreams and I feel like the thing that I'm stressed out about will come up in my dreams so I feel sleeping. I'm just out. I do have vivid dreams and I feel like the thing that I'm stressed out about will come up in my dreams. So I feel like if I did that, I would only be dreaming about how I need to fix everything

or like how, or like my house is flooding to the brim and I'm drowning or, you know, it would just like manifest that way. So I don't think that would be good for me.

It's great for me. I just wake up and up and go oh i have to deal with it yeah this isn't so bad because it didn't rain super hard last night oh good so there was no there was no real it wasn't like badly flooded this morning but boy oh boy is it bad and now i'm like oh shit i am an idiot and i've been using the lights in my tv room in the living room and there's a leak and the lights are in the ceiling so now i'm like oh i could start a electrical fire so now i don't turn on the lights in there so now it's really fun it's really fun I'm living like I don't know a pioneer I feel like like who lives like this

you turn on lights and there's surprise water everywhere but my contractor did come over and he said hey we don't know what's going on I was like great cool i love it great love that damn great it's perfect now we can do a quiz oh okay now i'm ready let that. Yeah. Guess what these celeb star signs are? Okay.

Would that be fun? Or... Which hair color fits your personality? Great, let's do that. I did just buy a wig that has red hair. And I don't know if that was a mistake or not. Like, you don't know if you mistakenly bought that or no no i know i bought it i know i was like i'm buying this but i don't i haven't gotten it yet i don't know if

it's gonna be good or not oh yeah i don't know if i've seen you with red hair before i used to wear it in high school all the time i only wore red hair like red burgundy oh that's cute yeah i think okay if you disagree with someone what do you do i tell them directly i fight back i tell them in a gentle way i keep it to myself i tell everyone else how wrong they are i secretly hate them okay this, this is tough. At the airport, I fight back. In my personal life, I'll keep it to myself until it festers for so long that someone goes, what's wrong? Oh, wait, disagree.

Yeah, yeah, that happens. But then also I'll tell everyone how wrong they all are. It depends on what it is. I tell them directly. Okay. I think I'm going to do, I tell everyone else how wrong they are. Where would you rather live? A city. The country.

The desert. The mountains. The coast. The forest. The forest. I'm going to say a city. I'm going to say the forest. Yeah, you do love trees.

I love trees. When are you the most productive? Morning. Afternoon. Night. Latenoon. Night. Late night. Anytime. Never is very funny.

Never productive. Morning for me. Wow. Even though I don't like getting up in the morning, but when I do, I am very productive. I hate mornings. Afternoons are my mornings. Nights are my afternoons. Late nights are my night.

So late night, late night, late night. I love late night. Which is the most scary? Ghosts, death, spiders. Public speaking. Heights. The ocean. The ocean is magic.

How dare, how dare they put that there? I mean, it also is kind of scary. They're straight up like creatures we've never even seen before down there. Yeah, because the ocean is unlimited magic. I'm going to say spiders. I'm going to say spiders. I'm going to say death. Ooh, okay.

This quiz boring you? I'm going to say death. I yawned really big. I'm just tired in general. The quiz is not boring me. I get it. You've been working hard. I've been working hard.

She's sleepy. Which of these is the least scary? Heights. Bugs. Public speaking. Shorts. she's sleepy which of these is the least scary heights bugs public speaking sharks tornadoes ghost again yeah so some some of these are the same like heights ghosts and then bugs became for spiders. Okay. The least scary to me is probably public speaking. I would say sharks because I'm rarely where they are. And also, isn't it like they actually won't come mess with you unless you mess with them?

Maybe. I'm not really a shark head. I don't know about them. I feel like people like I've seen things that like sharks get a bad rap, mostly because of jaws. But they're not like out here just shark attacks do happen, but not like at a greater rate than like other animal attacks, I don't think. Interesting. I love that you're dropping facts. Can I say I used to work at one of the Discovery Science Center cubes and I worked there for a summer when it was about sharks. And they said you're more likely to be struck by lightning twice than to be attacked by a shark.

Whoa. Wow. Damn. Wow. Damn. Interesting. That's highly unlikely. Yeah, very highly unlikely because I'm always inside when it's raining. Unless you turn your light switch on in your house.

And then I just die. What would you rather be doing right now? Sleep. Sleeping. Eating. Being outside. Watching TV. um what would you rather be doing right now sleep sleeping eating being outside watching tv seeing friends oh my god nothing it's like do wait does nothing mean like i would rather be doing nothing else than taking this quiz or does nothing mean like staring into the abyss uh maybe uh it seems like with the phrasing it seems like nothing means i wouldn't i don't want to do anything else so i would i'm so pleased taking this quiz i love buzzfeed um okay what are you judging by that yawn uh i would rather be sleeping i too would rather be sleeping so i don't have to deal with things

and finally pick a form of water pool ocean rain shower bath lake i'm picking the damn Water. Pool. Ocean. Rain. Shower. Bath. Lake. I'm picking the damn ocean. I would pick like a light rain if I'm inside. Oh, I like hearing it. Oh my God.

I'm over it. Well, I'm sure that wouldn't be my answer if I was in LA right now. Oh, terrible. What is this quiz? Oh, which hair color matches your personality.

Who's this? And this is this year. Black. Black hair is iconic for people who are leaders at heart. Wow. Okay. That makes sense. Okay. And this is Nicole.

Red. What? Red hair is for people who know how to have fun. Oh, thank goodness you got that wig. You know, I thought it was a mistake, but I guess not. Yes. Everyone's going to be like, wow, this girl really knows how to have fun. She's the funnest person we've met today.

OK, we have to help people now. Yes, let's answer some queries. Hi, my name is Claire. They, them. And I was hoping for some improv advice. I play Dungeons and Dragons and other RPGs with my friends. And I'm okay at narrating it, but I really struggle to do characters. And I can't think of dialogue for them

fast enough in my brain and I can't get their nuances in. Even if I work on this character for hours, I just can't quite get them right in game. How do I make my brain work on making words faster, just getting the words out and staying in character more

smoothly? I love you. Have a good day. Thank you. Bye. Well, I think you just, like... So, wait. Is this improv in the Dungeons & Dragons world? So, Dungeons & Dragons as a game is, like, literally improv. So, there's, like, the game master person who, like, you pick numbers or something and he's like D28 or something or whatever.

And then they're like, OK, now Susie the elf is going to choose to like do this or that. And then you're like, OK, I'm Susie the elf and I'm going to kick somebody and I'm going to use my elfin powers to nibble on their dick so you can just make it whatever you want or does it have to be in the confines of it's like in the confines of the game I truly have only played once but it was a fun time

but yeah because it's improv I would never play again too much goes into it but I guess with improv if i'm in a scene where i'm like a dad who doesn't want my daughter to be i don't know to become a cat i don't know that's okay okay what a wild scene i just know that like my bottom line is if she becomes a cat x y, Y, and Z will happen. My wife will leave me because

I was supposed to keep her from becoming a cat. I don't know. I don't know. No, that's good. That's good. I like what you're saying because I think it's like where things go awry is when people think too big or too grandiose. That's the scary thing about improv for some people is that

you can do anything. But I think if you focus in on what the character's goal is, which is I don't want my daughter to turn into a cat or whatever the thing is, then you'll react to things in a way that's like focus on that goal or focus on how you would talk to your daughter or like like it would if you just stay focused on this is the character this is the situation we're in as opposed to like i could do anything then i think it can lead to a more grounded and like fun flowing scene i think yeah i think so too i also think that you can say your own feelings filtered through the character um yeah but yeah i think also it's like if this is true what else is true and your brain not thinking fast enough i think is think. Yeah, you can go at your own pace. Yeah.

And the longer you do it, the more, the quicker you become. And I have days where I do shows where I'm like, I was definitely a audience member. I only laughed. I didn't help. I didn't do anything. And those are fun. That's a fun show to do. Yeah. And then sometimes I'm like, oh, I did a lot and it was yeah and then sometimes i'm like oh i did a lot

and it was great and sometimes i'm like i did a lot and i'm not sure it was helpful to the show and that's okay that's okay that's just the nature of improv yeah okay it's all solved okay solved solved hi nicole and sashir i love the show listening to the geniusness of your friendship and laughter makes me i think they said genuineness i mean you are slightly above average uh What was it? Intellectual. IQ wise. But I'm not good at problem solving. So I saw the word and I couldn't solve that problem. The genuinenessness.

Wait, how do you say that? Genuinenessness? Genuineness. Why am I doing that? Of your friendship and laughter makes me feel closer to all my friends when i listen and i constantly plug the show to spread the serotonin my friend let's call her b and i have had wait and i i can't read can you do it my friend let's call her b and i have successfully been in a long distance friendship for a while we text regularly regularly, send each other TikToks and

other memes and talk about big things going on in our lives. We write letters, send little gifts, and when we visit each other, we generally cuddle and hold hands because we're close like that. People often think we're dating, but we've always been happily platonic and are both in long-term relationships with our respective partners. Our bond is more like siblings who actually like each other. Recently, I visited Bea for her birthday at a party with several of her local friends that I've heard of slash met before. I drove several hours to be there and even rented a hotel room nearby so that we could hang some the following day.

The entire time I was there, Bea was hanging all over this person I've never met. And she's never mentioned to me. Let's call them Derek. While I did get to talk and hang with B some, the vibe didn't feel the same because of how inserted Derek was in everything, and I felt a little snubbed after taking the time and spending the money, gas and hotel, and food ain't cheap right now, to come out. It ain't cheap right now to come out. I was jealous about the amount of affection B was dishing out to Derek and sad because I felt like maybe B and I weren't as close as I thought since B and Derek were inseparable all night. I know B doesn't owe me her time or affection. Obviously, we both have other people in our lives that we love, but this incident's really sticking out with me since I've never heard of him and they acted very intimate and similar

to how B and I normally are during our infrequent in-person visits. Am I being petty to feel upset? Should I talk to my friend or just let it go and try to make more time of our friendship going forward? If I talk to her, how should I approach it? Have you dealt with feelings of jealousy in your friendship? Love you both and the joy you send out into the world. Hope to hear your insight and sorry if this email is long cheers green with envy um well yeah i think we've both experienced jealousy yes within our friendship with other friends yeah of course yeah i think it's natural Yeah, of course.

Yeah, I think it's natural. Yeah, I... Well, I mean, I would ask Bea who Derek is. Yeah, who Derek? Who Derek? Who's that? Are you dating Derek? Or is Derek a friend? Yeah, what's the deal? Because also, this person said that Bea was partnered to, I'm assuming, someone who is not Derek. Oh, B is partnered?

I missed that. Yeah. Like they're both like this person who wrote and B are both partnered with other people. And then they have this really close friendship. friendship and then the writer came to this birthday party and saw b all like buddy buddy with someone else who's derrick but derrick who i think is not not her partner he's just this new friend um i would say hey b i know that i just saw you for the party, but I didn't feel like I got to spend as much time with you. Do you mind if we do like a one on one thing soon? I think that's nice.

Birthday parties are just hard to get the person's attention because they have all their people there from different parts of their life. So yeah, I think I'm sure you weren't even the only person there who was like, oh, I didn't really get to talk to Bea. Or like, we didn't really have a moment and we have this strong bond. And maybe Bea's the kind of person that is like super lovey with multiple people. And I get that that could be weird watching that because you're like, but that's what we do. But yeah, maybe that's what B does when you're not down. B just be loving up on everybody. Oh, everybody.

B got a lot of love to give. Some say too much, but some say just enough. Yeah. say too much but some say just enough um yeah and then also we don't know if Derek like helped her plan the party or help them plan the party and I've I have a couple friends when I mix my friend groups who are clingy to me where I'm like go make a friend go make a friend please um but that's just not the case and you know that's just what happens but i think yeah you just plan like a nice intimate time for you two to like re like just recharge your friendship yeah also when you just said that about um when you plan parties and you have a friend that's clingy that made me think like oh we also don't know what derrick's situation

is and maybe derrick has anxiety and was like maybe be realized the only way they would feel comfortable is if derek stayed by b side um who knows yeah many things could be happening but i agree with nicole that if you are missing this person and you feel like oh i didn't get the affection that i wanted or the attention that i wanted yeah just reach out and say can we have a solo hey i agree solved solved one more question staring at me hello so here's a quandary when you travel with the group how do you decide who gets what bedroom? For example, let's say you rent a cabin and one of the rooms is en suite with a king bed, while one is a queen that shares a bathroom with a bathroom with a pullout. Everyone obviously wants the first room. This bothers me every time I travel with friends.

Your advice would be greatly appreciated. time i travel with friends your advice would be greatly appreciated well when you and i travel and if we're in a group sometimes this is a situation where like um someone might be paying more money for the house so usually that person gets the biggest one or like the coolest one or maybe the person who planned it or like found that house specifically and like did all the like logistics works they might get the like most special room other than that i don't know how you would determine that me either um i know last time i went to palm springs i got there like a couple hours after everybody and then like the boys got in a room together and then two of the girls got in a room together another girl had her own room and then they were like since you weren't here nicole to talk about sharing a room and we know you snore

you can have your own room and i said yes soore. And people let you sleep alone. I guess I have to get the King suite because I have this burden of snoring. Wake everybody up, you know? Um, I feel like before going, it is a nice conversation to be like, does everyone,

is everyone okay sharing rooms because sometimes people aren't okay with that um and then it's like if people aren't okay with that it's like okay we gotta find a house where there's you know you know more rooms or whatever um we rented this place in palm springs that had like 10 bedrooms so i don't think anyone shared a room unless they were a couple. Yeah. And then there was a whole back house where we tried to send you and your man.

And you were like, no, we want to be in the house. We're like, no, you can have that. It's very far away. And you guys can do whatever couples do. I know. And I like totally misread that. And I was like,

I don't want to be far away. I don't want to be separated by grass. And then later he was like, I would have loved to have been alone. I was like, I don't know where the group is. Oh, boy. That was a wild house. Oh, man. That was a really wild house. That was a monkey house. Yeah, a monkey was there there were these little shelves it looked like it was like handles for a monkey to climb on and there was monkey statues everywhere i think a monkey lived

i think a monkey lived there too i want to go back to that house i liked it it was a very fun house a pool tennis court a room to run a fire pit where at the end of the night i think you had gone to sleep i had taken drugs and i was like everybody write down something you want to leave in in this year and then everyone wrote it down you threw it in the fire then it would immediately fall out of the fire because it's paper yeah we woke up the next morning and all of our things that we wanted to leave behind were still there

still a pile of paper in this fake wood we're like oh no it didn't work that was fun that was fun if you It didn't work. That was fun. That was fun. If you... She's got to get to sleep.

If you have any questions or queries for us, you can email Nicole and Sashira at gmail.com or call or text or leave a voice message at 424-645-7003. Do you like merch? We have merch at podswag.com slash best friends. We have transcripts for our new episodes. Check them out on our show page at earwolf.com. Lastly, don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe.

That's the easiest way to support this show. Yay. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.