Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Nicole Phones a Friend

Episode Date: February 11, 2026

This week on Best Friends, Nicole and Sasheer are locked in and ready to learn about everything from glittery lotion to snowboarding uphill. They also get into airport fashion, Nicole's original plan for her remains that also involves the airport, and Sasheer does a special ASMR session featuring Nicole's new bracelet.Watch this full video on YouTube and follow below!Follow Nicole: Twitter, Instagram, TikTokFollow Sasheer: Instagram, TikTokLike the show? Rate Best Friends 5 stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts!Have a friendship question for Nicole and Sasheer to solve? Leave us a voicemail at [phone]‬ or write in at [e-mail] Friends is a production of Headgum Studios. Our producer is Allie Kahan. Our executive producer is Anya Kanevskaya. The show is edited, mixed, and engineered by Richelle Chen.This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Best Friends via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Hello, Nicole. How are you? How are you? How are you, Allie? Wow, Ali. My God. She's drunk.

She's like, nobody's asked me. I am okay. Yeah. I had a tooth pulled. Yeah. So I feel a little just like sore. Of course. Not as bad as when I had my wisdom teeth pulled.

Okay, that's good. Because I was awake for that. And I had a root canal, I think, at the same time. And I felt crazy after. Yeah. And I drove home after it. And I was like, oh, my God. That's not safe.

No. And then I had a therapy. But they didn't put you under fully. They didn't put me under, no. But I had a horrific traumatic experience for hours. Yeah. Where my mouth was open and there was people in me. And then I had a therapy appointment that I didn't cancel.

So I was like sobbing on the side of the road being like, Mary, they took my teeth. teeth. And in hindsight, pretty dramatic. Pretty dramatic. Taking your teeth is dramatic. They did take your teeth. They did. They took them. Yeah. But this time I got put under because I kept saying, I'm scared. Yeah. And she was very, very nice. And I remember them putting like a thing in my arm. Yeah. And then the lady was like, do you want something stronger for after? And I, and I remember. And I remember them putting like a thing in my arm. Yeah. And then the lady was like, do you want something stronger for after? And I, I said, if you don't mind, because I just, the pain that I have, or that I had last time was too much. And she goes, okay. And then she goes, what's your pharmacy? And I told her, and she was like, can I get sent it to the pharmacy downstairs?

And I said, sure. And then I remember being like, keep your eyes open so you know when you fall asleep. And then I was like, when are you going to take my tooth? And they were like, we took it. And I was like, what? It's fine. It was wild this year. Wait, why did you want your eyes open?

Because I wanted to know when I was going to fall asleep. But what, like, to see how fast the medicine would kick in? I wanted to know when it was going to kick in. Okay. But I didn't know at all. Yeah. And they just took my tooth. But they gave it to me, so they didn't take it.

Oh, that's nice. They took it out of me and gave it to me. The last experience would have been better if they gave you your teeth? The last experience would have been better if they had put me out and not left an instrument in my mouth. Yeah. Yeah. That would have been miles better. I think that would have been optimal.

That would have been five stars. Yeah. What are you going to do with your tooth now that you have it? People keep saying make it into a necklace, I'm not that kind of girl. She's glamour. I'm not wearing my teeth. You can bling it out. So shear, I'm not that kind of girl.

I'm not wearing my teeth. Okay, got it. I don't know what I'm going to do. Well, the piece of the tooth that broke off, that is currently in my wallet. This tooth is too dang big, I think, for my wallet. This year, it's huge. It looks big. The pictures that you sent look big.

I can't believe it was in my mouth. Teeth are huge. Yeah, because there's like a large part past the gum. Yeah, teeth have feet. Yeah, those hidden feet that they don't talk about. They have four little feet. They're crazy. Teeth are crazy.

The human body is sick as hell. It's sick. It's disgusting. So is it now just a hole in your mouth? I have bone graft. There's a hole in this mouth. You know that's all. Yeah.

About hose in the house. Yeah, yeah. But you change it to a hole in my mouth. Yeah, yeah. It's very quick. Thank you. There is technically, I guess, a hole in my mouth. But there's bone graft in there.

We even talked about this? I think you mentioned it. I didn't know if it was happening, like, right after the surgery or there's another step eventually. Well, there was an infection, which is why the tooth had to get pulled. So there was an instrument in me and an infection. And she was gross. She was like, I really had to scrape that infection out. And I was like, okay.

You don't have to make me feel even more disgusting than I currently feel. Yeah. She's infected. She's infected. I'm patient zero. But then I guess after you scrape out infection, bone graft goes in. which is cow bone and dead people bone. So I'm concerned that one day I'll wake up mooing

or be possessed by whoever dead person bone is in me. By whoever dead person bone is in me. That was a terrible sentence. I know I went to school, but sometimes it doesn't feel like it. But we can blame it on the drugs. Thank you. Yes, I've been on some mild drugs that have put me right to sleep. Mm-hmm.

Do they, is the dead person bone that's in you, is it also tooth? Or do we not know what kind of bone it is? Hmm. I didn't ask. Yeah. I figured it would be tooth for tooth. That would make sense. But maybe it's just other bone.

Yeah. How do they get the bone? What? Whoa. What? How are, what? I guess. What?

Because aren't some, because I guess if you're an organ donor, maybe, but that's not organ. No. It's a bone. And that's like saving lives. This is vanity. This is pure vanity. I just don't want a hole in my mouth. I don't know. I don't know. Sometimes I don't, I feel like there are a lot of theories as to what happens with bodies.

After they pass. Yeah. Some end up in museums. Yeah. The bodies exhibit. Yeah. Some end up in the ground, burials. Some end up burnt up cremation.

Some are buried at sea? Yeah, some are just in the water. There was a story about this man who, I think, donated his mom's body to science. And then I don't even know how he found this out, but her body ended up being used as, like, a crash dummy for, like... For Volvo? I have no idea. Are they known for that? Why did you pick Volvos specifically? I don't know what brand of car it was. Volvos are really safe. Oh, okay. So she's usually like, she helped the cause. So I was like, they probably use like real people because they're so safe. Maybe. I don't know. I don't know how many car companies actually use real bodies. But yeah, she was used for a crash test. I mean, that's technically science.

That's, yeah, I guess that's, I guess that is, but I think he was like hoping it'd be like, she helps solve a disease or something as opposed to just throw in a car and like hit a wall. Honestly, I wouldn't mind that. Yeah? Maybe I'll donate my body to science and write specifically. Give me to Volvo. You're like, I want to help them. I want to help them with the cars.

Yeah. Do you want to donate your body? I think I want to be cremated. I think I don't want anyone to do anything to my body. In the original version of my will, before I was told that I can't force people to do things, I had written that I wanted my sister to take my cremated remains to the airport and then dump me out at the departure gate. Because you're not going to go home. You got to make that flight.

So I go to a lot of different places. But I feel like, isn't there a law against that? Yeah, I think so. I think so. I think she go right to jail. Yeah, you can't put like remains on humans. on people who didn't ask for this. Yeah, but I want to go on trips.

International. Don't take me to Burbank. Yeah. Take me to LAX. You know how I feel about Burbank. That's not a real airport. Yeah, but it's so small and quick. I don't like it.

I feel like it's cosplaying as an airport. It's disgusting. These people are flying domestic. Like, I just, I don't know. I want to be with world travelers. Also, Sashir, can you? tell that I'm like glowing there's glitter all over me. I do see a shimmer on you.

So I talked about using lotion on this podcast and the nice man in my life, his sister was like, oh, I went to the store and I got used soaps that also have lotions in them. So I got out of the shower and I was like, whoa, my skin is soft. And then I put on my glasses and I was like, I'm also covered in glitter. My whole body is covered in glitter. The soap has glitter? I didn't realize that the soap had glitter. Oh, but that's a weird choice for the soap company.

Why would they want to add glitter to it? I don't know. Why they sell it to a grown-up lady who said, I'm buying it for another grown-up lady. Maybe she didn't say those words. I'm buying this soap lotion for my grown-up lady friend. And I feel, like my skin, feel it. It was smooth. Really smooth.

Yeah. I like the results. It minus. the glitter. I've had to wash my hands eight times because I keep touching my body and then I'd be like, there's more glitter on me. Wait, so does the glitter transfer to other things?

Like, are you leaving glitter on your clothes and on the I'm pretty sure? Fabric. I can definitely see the glitter on your legs. Yes. I think there's glitter on the inside of my pale legs. That's so strange. Why would anyone think people wanted that? I don't know. Maybe they're trying to

teach me a lesson for not using a lotion for so long. Or maybe they're like, you see the spots that don't have glitter. You need to put moisture on that. You didn't wash that part. Yeah. But I washed myself good. There is glitter all over me.

Damn. And it's funny because you can see where you didn't watch because I washed my face with face wash. So my face did not have glitter, but down had glitter. I mean, thank God. You don't want to glitter on your face because that'll also be there forever. Yes, yes, yes. Well, I didn't want to put that on because I don't put body soap on my face.

Yeah, I don't either. I put face wash on my face. It's different for some reason. For some reason, our faces are different. I think it's because it's more sensitive skin. Yeah, I can see that. Where's this sweater from? Oh, there are people skiing.

There's people skiing on the sweater. They're going places. They are up. Yeah. Which is kind of crazy. They should be going down, right? Oh, I guess so. But then someone told me that, like, when you ski, you are going uphill.

No. And I still don't understand. No. Do you guys understand? No. That's a lie. I don't understand. Whoever told you that was messing with you.

But I think it's like when you're carving or like going like zigzagging or something, sometimes you are going up. So shear absolutely not. It doesn't make sense to me. No, because you take that the thingy up. For sure. You're going up that hill. The gondola? The gondola.

Yeah. And then you got to take the gondola back up if you want to ski some more. I know. Whoever told you that was really trying to mess with your brain. It still messes with my brain. They want you to look stupid. They want you to say that on your podcast. for hundreds of people to hear.

Or maybe they were saying you have to look up, like you're looking up at the mountain. And I was like, when would you look up at the mountain? They're like, when you're turning? And I was like, but aren't you going down? Wouldn't you be looking forward the whole time? Maybe that's just snowboarding? Because I feel like skiing, you have to go forward the whole time.

I don't know. Whoever you were talking to, fucked you up. Wait, this is so wild. I'm 100% sure. Maybe you don't look down. Maybe you look up. Like with roller skating, you're not supposed to look down. You're supposed to look ahead.

Maybe that's what they meant. I really feel like she was saying like the mountain behind you. You're looking at it. I don't know when. Oh, I guess because, okay, so if you're, okay, you're snowboarding. You're kind of, like, your feet are side to side. So you do have to like be. perpendicular to the mountain at some point.

And then I guess when you turn, maybe your back's now towards downhill. This is so... Should I call someone who knows how to snowboard? Sure. Who do you know?

That nice man in my life, his brother-in-law. Okay, great. We're going to phone a friend. Do we know what the question is? Are there times when you're snowboarding, when you are looking up

at the mountain looking uphill okay let's see if he answers he has a job stop what you're doing stop what you're doing i have a question let's see if he hates this hey nicole hi kramer okay you're on speakerphone i am recording a podcast i have a question about snowboarding you can say no thank you let's do it okay so shir what is the question um when hi there When you're snowboarding, are there moments when your body is turned in a way that you are up at the mountain behind you? Absolutely. Absolutely.

Oh. Why? Why? When you turn, you're either on your heel edge or on your toe edge. And when you're on your toe edge, your body is kind of facing perpendicular, but your head, is somewhat uphill. You should be looking forward, but you have an opportunity where your body is facing the mountain, essentially. Oh. And it's a good idea to look behind you in case somebody is coming down faster or you're cutting somebody off.

Oh, and you're going downhill. Yep. Wow. Wow. Okay. Okay. Thank you, Kramer. Of course. Nice to hear from you. Nice to hear from you. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Wow. Okay. So whoever you were talking to, knew what they were talking about. Yeah. But here's the thing. It was explained.

I still don't really understand. No, neither. It was fully explained to me the first time, and I was like, I still get it. Yeah. Your toe edge. Oh, okay. I guess not the whole time.

But since you're going down the mountain that way, you want to look behind you if you are cutting somebody off or if someone's coming down really fast. Yeah. So I think you're looking, looking, looking, looking. I think we solved that. I thought it was like you truly are like your body's turned. Because you're carving.

Yeah. You're like, oh. So you're like heel, toe. And you're like, sometimes it's your back and sometimes it's your front facing the top of the moment. This is crazy. Because I feel like Kramer just said that. And I was like, got it. And then I was like, here's something totally different.

Yeah, you said you made of a whole new theory. Because you're looking. You're turning your head. You didn't say that. But now I get it. But when you go that way, you are looking behind and then you go, ah. Yeah. Should we go snowboarding now?

I don't know. Now my phone's making lots of noises. Oh. The potato. The potato wants. Cramer's like, I got more there. I have more isolations. All right.

The potatoes on. Do you not disturb. I can't tell if I would want, well, I don't really want to be cold. I don't want to be a winter sport. But a lot of people I know do them. So it does seem like it could be fun. Well, I heard that you get chicken nuggets at the top of the mountain. I've never heard that before in my life.

At every mountain? Any mountain that we go to, we can get chicken nuggets? I was told. Craber said, hey, Nicole, you want to go skiing? There's chicken nuggets at the top of the mountain. And I said, I get a view and chicken nuggets. And I was like, I think I'll go skiing. but maybe not a maybe just about when he goes to

I don't know I don't know I didn't hear that I don't know either that's a good reason maybe they're telling me a story maybe there is no chicken at the top of the mountain there probably is chicken and you know me I'm on the hunt for chicken

specifically spicy chicken from Middown High School South yes but we got an email didn't we we did yes and I knew about this it was sent this morning but you don't check your email You know I don't. You know I don't.

I'm learning all the time in real time, too. What does the email say? A listener found your middle school menu. My high school menu. Or high school menu, yeah, online and sent it. And spicy chicken, I think, is on Wednesdays. Wednesdays? Wow.

That's nice. I moved it right in the middle of the week. Something to look forward to every Monday. And keep you going for the rest of the week. What is the rest of the menu? Let me pull it up. That's crazy that they have a posted menu somewhere. Yeah, why is it online for everybody?

Maybe more people can just show us. Oh, you know what? Out of the neighborhood. I would like some spicy chicken. Middletown High School's current menu is... Is it north or south, or does it just say Middletown? It says it's plural Middletown High Schools. Okay.

So it might be both. There's a lot of different stations. Okay, it's saying available daily pizza, pepperoni pizza, vegetable pizza, and then at the coyote grill. The coyote, we didn't have a coyote grill. There's nachos, Mexican rice and veggies, tacos. That sounds good. At Miss Ruby's. Miss Ruby's.

Which I think this is, there must be just different food stations. You can get hamburgers or cheeseburgers, turkey burgers, veggie burgers. I guess these are all saying it's available. daily. This is a lot available daily. Is this like a food court? Is this a sizzler? And then there's the Great American

which is the sandwich station and then there's assorted Borshead cold cuts there. Wow. Whoa! Boar's Head. Okay. And at Miss Rubies along with the hamburgers cheeseburgers and turkey burgers, that's where you can get the crispy and spicy chicken.

Wow. That's crazy. That's I really elaborate for a high school. Don't remember our cafeteria being that big. Yeah. I feel like that's what my college cafeteria was like where we had like restaurants inside the cafeteria. You had restaurants inside the cafeteria?

Yeah. The only one I can remember is Chick-fil-A. Wow. But it was the South. So when you remember, wow, she's a bigot. Wow. She loves Chick-fil-A. On Sundays, she doesn't eat.

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Go to audible.com slash big age series to start listening today. And we're back. We're back. That's wild. Will you go down to, on Wednesdays to get Ms. Ruby's space chicken? Well, I asked if you would come with me and you said no. I said yes eventually. Oh, yeah.

So then you sweetened it with a romantic hotel getaway. You sweetened it with the romantic hotel getaway. Yes. I remember now. Yeah, if you come with me and if we go to the Poconos to sit in that champagne flute, or no, I think it's a coop, a champagne coop bathtub, we're going to go to Middleton High School South and we're going to get chicken fingers from Miss Ruby's. Nice.

Who's Miss Ruby? I don't know. I don't know either. They probably just made her up because it's how old with the spicy chicken existed before Miss Ruby did. Unless Miss Ruby was there. She was just not acknowledged while I was in school. Yeah.

Maybe they're like, we're finally acknowledging her contributions to the school. Maybe it's like when I worked at Lame Giant, we had a model employee and her name was Sophie. And Sophie did not exist. And we used to have like employee of the month. And I remember once I posted just a blank paper and wrote Sophie on it and nobody thought it was funny. Nobody thought anything I did at Lame Bryant was funny. It's funny. Thank you.

Thank you. I thought it was so funny. So wait, Sophie was supposed to inspire the other employees to be as good as Sophie? Yes. And in the like employee handbook, it was like, Sophie does this. Sophie doesn't do this. Sophie sells that credit card. And then we all had to be like Sophie.

And then it was called Sophie's closet, but I would call it Sophie's Paloosa. That's when we get 55% off stuff to buy. Okay. Because I want you to wear the merch. I see. I see. Wow.

Yeah. I was not a model employee. Do you want to know what I did? Sure. I thought it was good. Okay. They didn't think it was good. So you had to push the credit cards on people.

You go, do you want to open? a credit card to get 10% off your purchase. 10% off $100 is $10. It's not really worth it to fuck up your credit and get a ding on your credit score. Yeah. So when people had huge purchases, like $1,000, it's $100 off, or no, it was 15% off, so it's like 150 off. I'd be like, hey, do you want to open a Lane Bryant credit card?

And they go, I don't know. And I go, you'd save this amount of money. And I'd be like, I don't know. I'd be like, we're going to pay with a debit card today? And they'd be like, yes. And I go, open the Lane Bryant credit card. It will put a ding on your credit. But if you pay it off today, that might increase your credit score a little bit or not knock it as much.

Yeah. And they'd be like, oh, okay. And then my manager heard me doing that. It was like, you can't do that. You can't have them open their credit card and like essentially close it the same day. Yeah. And I was like, well, I'm still opening the credit cards. Yeah, you still sold it.

In fact, I'm opening more than most people because I'm giving them that option. And you're helping them. Yes, but they didn't want me to help them. They wanted them to get into debt. rude and pay that that interest because store cards have insane interest they do it's really wild that stores can have credit cards yes like that anyone other than a bank can have a credit card yes it's wild it's wild it's wild it's also a while that we even have a credit card system it just keeps everyone in debt yes i mean the way we should explain credit cards to people is like

if you cannot pay that in full the next month, you can't afford it. And we don't do that. We just go buy now, pay later. Yeah. It's crazy. It's crazy. It's crazy. Do you have a credit card?

I do have a credit card. Oh, wait, I know this. But I didn't have one until maybe after college. Yeah. Because I feel like my parents were like, you can have a debit card. And I just had a debit card because I was like, please don't spend more than you have. And then, yeah, I can't remember when I actually signed up for my first credit card.

But even then I was still like, I'm scared to use it. I don't want to use it. And that's how you should think. I had so many credit cards. Yeah. I had a Macy's card, a Macy's Visa, so I could use it at Macy's and other places. Oh. A Hello Kitty visa card.

Okay. A Capital One card. I think that was also Visa. And then maxed all of those out. And then after you max out credit cards, the real predatory ones start mailing you cards. Being like, you can have this. You're just pre-approved. This one has $500.

And you go, okay. And you get another one. It's like, this one has $500. You're like, oh, okay. And I just kept getting these like $500. I had like $8, $500 limit cards that I just kept maxing out. Ooh. It was wild.

Yeah. That's wild. Good times. Couldn't afford anything I was buying. Yeah. So much. stuff. When did you start closing them out?

2008. Nice. Papa passed. And then I said, well, this will be the last time he helps me. And now I have the thing in the back of my mind. Once it's gone, it's gone! That's what he used to say all the time. And now

I get it. Now I get it. Once money's gone, it's gone. Yeah. It's true. It is true. Where are these shoes from? These are, like, old school, like, Velcro. I'm also describing to people who can't see it. Oh, I was like, uh-oh, does she think I'm dumb? It's a QVC commercial now.

So these are. Yeah, Velcro lace up Reebok sneakers. High tops. High tops. And Tracy Morgan gave them to me. Oh. Because I did last OG and he got a lot of the cast and crew these old school rebugs because I guess his character is like old school from New York and I think it was like homage to that. Yeah.

That's lovely. Yeah. Wow. Look at you wearing your gift. I actually have been doing that recently. I like stored a lot of like swag and things I've gotten from shows and was like, oh, I won't touch it. And I'm like, whatever. It's mine.

Yeah, it's yours. Wear that shirt. Yeah. I'm trying to wear things that I bought that I was like, oh, but I love them. And if I wear them, it'll wear them down. And I've been saying, fuck it, it's okay. Wear the things you like. Yeah.

Like I've been trying to wear my rings more. Yeah. I'm like, what if I lose them? And it's like, well, that means I had a nice time and I lost them. Mm-hmm. Things are meant to be used. Things are meant to be used. Yeah.

Yeah. Like, oh, and I got this this weekend. I haven't seen it. I like it. Yeah, I went to the Los Felis flea market. Oh, that's right. $5. Wow.

$20. Wow. $25. Wow. This is all from the flea? Uh-huh. Oh, nice. I went wild.

Does that bracelet bend? No. Okay. Oh. Just sliding it off. There it goes. And you know what? If you didn't have moisture on your hand, it would be much harder.

It would be so much harder. Oh, I like. it. Oh, I thought this was like, I thought this would be like, like, let's bowl, yeah, gummy. It's like, I feel like as an ASMR. This, this is a purple, um, hard bracelet. It's made of metal. One of those purple hard bracelets. It's made of metal and it's a gold, gold tip on it and. I don't know. That's a sure. That sounded nasty. I don't know why. Gold tip. Gold tip, purple hard bracelet. Hard bracelet. like an eggplant. Last night I was watching pole to pole with Will Smith. Speaking of eggplants.

That title is wild. No one was like, pole to pole does sound like. It sounds insane. Yeah. And it really fucking feels like Will Smith is going to these extremes to like avoid his wife.

He's like, I'm going to get the furthest I can. The furthest I can from. my wife, which is like sad because they bring me constant entertainment. I maintain nothing has happened in an award show that was funnier than him slapping Chris Rock. Absolutely not. The Oscars are next month. Yeah.

What's going to happen? Nothing that can top that. No, but I, here is my plea for the celebrities. This February, get wild. Get wild. Get wild. Do something nuts. I could do something out of character.

Celebrities are getting a little bit more wild than I like it. I like it too. Yeah. Although like Ashley Tisdale mom drama, I'm like, okay. I love it. Call each other out. Fudes are back. Vudes are back.

Yeah. Kanye West to apologize for all that he did. That was pretty wild. And I said, I don't know if a sorry we'll do. So it's been a while. It's been a while. It's been a while. And you did a lot.

You did a lot of things. Did a lot of stuff. Yeah, but he's also sick He is sick And to that I say Put out an album And maybe we'll think about that apology Yeah

And you need to put out Like three really great albums In a row Quiet for a little bit Yeah To make up for the fact that you made a song About Hitler The fuck

What? It's really actually crazy It's crazy He also sold T-shirts with swastikas on it. And he's like, oopsies. And I think there's a lot of mentally ill people out there, you know? Yeah.

A lot of people who have swings and moods. I have swings and moods. Not once have ever said, I'm going to sell swastikas. Yeah. But maybe I'm not that sick. And he also has access to things that other people who are ill don't. Yeah. You know, like maybe other people would be doing this more,

but they're just like screaming out to the ether. And he's like, I can actually make this happen. He's like, I can put this on the radio. Yeah, that is wild. Yeah. I follow this lady. I don't follow her. She pops up on my for you page a lot.

Her name is Stacy Kinnison. And the only reason why I know her name is because she says it before every video. And she says the wildest things. Oh, no. She thinks Sandra Bullock is like after her. I think you said anyway. Isn't he? Yeah.

And she's like just. saying things into the ether, but I feel like more people have, like, found her, and they'll comment, they'll be like, you better get Sandra Bullock are like, Sandra Bullock is after you, or like, girl, like. Watch out. She's coming out with a new movie for you. Yes. And I'm like, maybe

that's not how we should respond to that. Yeah. But also it's like, how should we respond? I don't know. We don't know her, yeah. I don't know. Yeah. Times are getting wilder. Times are getting very wild. And what we need is celebrities to be wild. Not the regulars. Not the regulars.

I want the celebs to be wild, wild, wild. Yeah. Also on Instagram, I was served, what is his name? He owns Amazon, Mr. Bay, Mr. Bay. Basos? Mr. Bay? Yeah, Mr. Bezos. His wife never looks good.

It's like actually unhinged. Yeah, you'd think with that much money. Yes. You would look good. But also like maybe her stylists are like sabotaging her. Oh, maybe. They're working from the inside. Maybe.

She was wearing this like fur thing that I was like, yikes, this looks tough. And then it was like Dior. And I was like, what? How do you make Dior look like that? Yeah. And then this is really mean and I'm not like body shaming. Her face is fucked. Her face is like, it's like, it's like, it's,

very gremlin, like lady gremlin like. I love how you're not participating. It's okay. I could be on this hill alone. It's like... I can't really do it because of my mouth, but like her mouth is so like wide. She looks like there's a toy or like a cartoon

where like talk like that at their mouth, like the mouth split. That's what she looks like to me. It is so nuts. And like, if I, you know, sold my soul for money and, like, became an evil person, I'm going to look so good. You would think, right? I'm not like Carolla DeVille. Like, I'm getting shit fucking custom.

Yeah, yeah. This bitch is wearing off the rack and making it look like garbage. Yeah. Wild. It's wild. Wild, wild, wild. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest and not adding a single thing. Yeah.

You got a girl. Should we answer questions and queries? Yeah. Ooh. Whoa. Was it your neck? Oh my God. Are you okay?

Shear, no. I'm falling apart at the scenes. I have to get on a plane tomorrow. Oh, my God. I do too. What time is your plane? Nine. What time's your plane?

11. Oh, I'll be there before you. Hopefully I'll be comfortable. My butt's a little smaller. That's honestly like the issue I have. Yeah. My butt is too wide for a plane. economy seats. And honestly, the average woman is a size 16. A size 16 should be able to fit in an

economy size seat comfortably. Right? You're right. But he's trying to squeeze more people on a plane to make more money. I guess that. Do you remember, I think it was the travel man. Hmm. Who's the travel man? I don't know. The points guy? No, he's like a White House person. Somebody in the White House was like, people should dress up for flights again. I didn't see that. You didn't see that? No. Wait, Ali, did you see that? Yeah, I did. He was like, if you dress nicer, maybe you'll be helped better, and it'll go smoother for you. Yeah.

What was the point of, he held a press conference for this? What was the overarching conversation with, like back in the day when it was Pan Am and people would wear fits? He was like, let's do that again. Yeah, and it's like, I'm sorry. You charge, you nickel and dime for everything. The food is inedible. Like, who am I dressing up for? I'm literally dressing for a sky bed.

I'm going to sleep. I don't want to be awake for this. Yeah, people were dressing up when you got served full stakes. Yes. And you smoke cigars on a plane. Yes. Oh, my God. And there was a dance floor and a bar. Literally, there were planes at dance floors and bars. Yeah, I would dress up for that. Not like I'm squished in a middle seat.

Imagine wearing a three-piece suit in economy. Ridiculous. And my outlet doesn't work. My screen is broken. Are you kidding me? No. We're in sweats. Yeah, I wear sweats.

My sweats at least match. There you go. You know? That's a set. That's a set. But I would dress up if flying was nicer. Yeah. You know?

Give me an environment for it to be nice. Yes. Yeah. Imagine dancing on a plane in the sky. Yeah. That would be so fun. It would be really fun. And you're like a little tipsy?

Should bring back fun shit like that. Yeah. I mean, I also feel like there was probably less turbulence back then. So you would be like, oh, whoa, whoa. We're really doing the twist. Wait, imagine. We're really doing the twist. But imagine they, like, had, like, little lassoes that, like, attached to the wall.

Or, like, when the, like, on a subway, like, one of those straps that hanging from the pole? Yeah. Or, like, is it around your waist. Okay. What you came up with was better. Like poles and you could like hang on to it. No, I was thinking you were strapped in and then it tethered to the wall, but I guess that doesn't really work if you go up. Like when you leash a child?

Yeah. Okay. Okay. Answer these questions to find out what type of best friend you are. You either have a chaotic bestie or you are one. I think we know the answers to this. We all play roles in our friend groups. While we may be different things to different people, who are you to your closest friend says a lot about you?

Your friend personality can be influenced by a variety of things. Maybe your zodiac sign, maybe your zodiac sign makes you bossy. Fire signs or growing up as the oldest child and your family has made you a natural caretaker. Which of these would you gift your friend if you were there, secret Santa? Concert tickets. An all expense paid trip. Dream date with a celebrity. A shopping spree?

Whoa. We have money. in this situation. Money's unlimited. Let's see. For my friend? For Secret Santa. Yes.

I'm going to pick... I was going to pick concert tickets, but there could be a concert in an all-expense-paid trip. Oh, I mean, it's one of the expenses. I'm going to do an all-expense-paid trip. Yeah. I would do... I would do concert tickets because then we could do this together

and maybe I get tickets for all of our friends and we do have a fun trip together. Mm. Yeah. Pick an iconic best friend. Charles Boyle from Brooklyn Nine Nine. Chandler Bing from Friends. Aditi from Ye Jawani, Holly, DeWani.

Yay, Joani, hi, Diwani. I don't know. I haven't heard of this. Me either. Circuit from Munabai, MBBS. I also haven't heard of that. Interesting. Well. I'm going to say Chandler Bang.

This is oddly specific. Yeah. And I'm going to say Aditi because she seems like fun. Actually, no, I'm going to say Circuit. He looks like fun. Look at those gold chains. And Circuit's a fun name. great name. Yeah. Probably really energetic.

Mm-hmm. Your best friend wants to get back with their ex. What do you do? Be supportive. Make sarcastic comments. Take them out. Oh, talk them out of it. I was like, take them out. Oh, my God. You're not them. Kill them. Set them up with someone else immediately. Um.

I think at this point in my life, I'm going to be supportive. Nice. I think... Yeah, I think it would also be supportive because you can't talk someone out of it. It's up to them. They're going to make a choice. Yeah. Pick an activity to do with your friend.

Club hopping. Trekking. Wine tasting. Sit and do nothing. Hmm. That picture's funny because they're stretching. It seems like they're doing something. Yeah, their legs are in the air.

Yeah. Hmm. I'm going to say sit and do nothing. Okay. I like when you can hang out with people and do nothing. That is nice. You know, club hopping looks like fun and honestly, catch me on a good day. I'll do it.

The rest of the year, no. So I'm going to say, I like wine tasting. Yeah. A wine tasting is lovely. That's lovely. What do your friends like the most about you? Honesty. Sense of humor.

Indigence. Kindness. It's really funny that honesty and sense. of humor are blue, intelligence is black and kindness is red. Mm-hmm. It feels like one of those like magic tricks where they want you to pick a certain one.

Like the color. Yeah. The color indicates what we want you to pick. Yeah. Ow. I think I'm going to say sense of humor. Mm-hmm. I think I'm going to say kindness.

I don't think, I don't know if my friends like my honesty. Maybe they like your honesty when they're asking for honesty. No, sometimes they don't, actually. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Pick a classic Bollywood movie to watch together. Khabi, Kushni, Kambi, Gama. Peri. Dehalee, Doolha, lae, Jigin.

De Wally, Dulhanya, Le Jang, and then Zing, Zindagi, and Malagi dobarra. I think we did a really good job pronouncing those. I'm going to say the first one, because there's a woman in it. I watched a Bollywood movie on a plane. I wish I could remember what it was, but it was so fun. They're fun. The dad slash mom friend? You're a neat guy.

You're always armed with puns? A fanny pack full of snacks? And dance moves straight from the 90s? You're the responsible one of the group? But you sure are a joy to be around. You're indispensable. That feels like you should be mine. Yes.

I always have a fanny pack and snacks. I never have a snack. I'm constantly so hungry. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to say Diwali, Duhani, La Jha'Aange. because there's a guitar there and maybe he's going to serenade with me

so I am the dad slash mom friend. Is everybody what do you take this quiz? Yeah. That's the only option? I wonder, if we go back to mine and I pick a different movie

will it give us a different Yeah. Do herr Perry. Oh, we got to do the whole thing again. Yeah. You know what? That's okay. Yeah.

All right. We're the dad slash mom. I'll be the dad. That'll be the mom. We have to take. Take a break, daddy. Wait, mommy. I forgot who you were. Support for this podcast is brought to you by Chamberlain University.

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All right, mom, we're bad. Should we answer some questions? Let's answer some questions and queries. Hey, Nicole and Sashir. I have a question about hanging out with an old friend. We originally were best friends in high school and drifted apart in our early 20s. I recently found his Instagram, so we added each other and reconnected. I drove out to meet up and we decided to hit up a few bars. I'm all for having a

couple drinks and chatting it up, but he was looking to take shots all night and stumble from bar to bar and partake in additional substances. No judgment, just not what I had in mind. Being blacked out around people or being hung over myself gives me too much anxiety now and I need two to three business days to recover, L.O.L. Apparently, he doesn't feel the same way as he is always suggesting going for bar crawls, staying up all night, and offering to crash at his place. One detail is that he is openly gay, so I do get that there is a different party scene in the gay community. I love catching up with him and hearing about his adventures. I'm just not into the bar hopping scene anymore. He also doesn't live in the safest area. He's told me some stories of

him getting into fights and being robbed, which as a woman also makes me hesitant to walk the streets drunk late at night. I haven't confronted him about this yet, but I have said things like, oh, those party days are behind me. He just keeps suggesting to go out and I say I'm busy, or if I bring up him driving to meet me, he just says, well, there's nothing really to do in your area. How do I suggest to chill hang out without sounding judgmental or like I don't want to hang out with him? Love to hear your take. Yours truly a lightweight home body 30-something year old. I get it. I get it, sister. I mean, maybe if the, like, deterrent for him to come to your area is there's something to do, suggest something to do.

Like, be like, come to my area and let's get brunch. Gays love brunch. Get brunch. Do a daytime hang. Yes. There's a museum I want to go to. There's a pottery studio I want to head up. You know, like, suggest an activity other than just come to my area.

And then hopefully I'll be a draw. Yeah. I think that's a good idea. I also think you can do night things. Like do a night like bingo loco. Like do an activity where like they can drink. You don't necessarily have to drink. There's a finite end to it.

And you can be like, and that's it for me. And they can go out and go bar hopping if they want to after. Yeah. But I think planning an activity. is like a good way to be like, and that's the end of the night for me, as opposed to bar hopping and whatnot. Yeah. Yeah, there's also some bars that have like fun activities like the virtual golf station. What are those things called?

Top golf? No, not top. It's virtual where they have like a screen and you're like, it's like we where you're like you hit the, you have like a club and you're like hit a pretend ball and it like go somewhere. Oh, that's fun. I forgot, there's a term for it, but yeah, those are like pool or pinball or a duck pin bowling. It's like the smaller ball. And then the pins are attached to strings, like a little marionette. And then when you hit them, they go up and then they come back down.

So it's like a smaller lane. Or just regular bowling. I know that one. Yeah. Regular bowling. There's places where there's an activity and drinking can still happen. And like we said, if he still wants to party after, he can do that, but you don't have to come with. Yes.

I think that's the plan. Make a plan. Yeah. And if you feel like you want to say something, you can be like, you know, partying is not my vibe at this point in my life. So I'd rather do activities. But also you can just suggest things and hopefully. Yes. You're going to have a movie night.

You can go see a movie. Go to a bar go see a movie. Yeah. I did have a friend, or she's still my friend, but she used to get high a lot. And when we would meet up, it was difficult for me to, like, engage with her because I felt like there was like a literal cloud in front of me. And we weren't really connecting. And I was like, oh, I kind of like hanging out with you to connect.

And so I did bring it up. And I was like, yeah, I kind of would like you to be less high or just not high when we meet up because I find a different. to actually like have conversations with you and connect unless we're partying but like yeah if we're not I don't want to be the only one in the situation who's not and she she understood and she was like got it I will work on that and and then made our experiences much better yeah sometimes you just have to say hey I want you yeah yeah solved hi Nicole and Sashir I'm so happy the podcast is back from I'm so happy to have your lovely dynamic back in my feet every Wednesday. I'll try to keep my gushing to a minimum because I feel like this email is already novel length,

smiley face. I have a group of five friends I've known since middle school, and we're now in our early 30s. Over the years, we've scattered across the country and now mostly keep in touch via group chat and periodic video calls. Of the group, there are two people that I still consider some of my closest friends. However, I've drifted further and further from the other three and have very little in common with any of them anymore. When we do talk, I find myself coming away from any time spent with them, annoyed, and sometimes even angry. I feel like they only want to talk about themselves and often are dismissive or condescending about my life.

I've already begun the process of distancing myself from them, and I haven't replied in the group chat in almost six months, and no one seemed to notice, making me even more sure that my presence is not important. to these people. The problem is, the two people I remain close with are very resistant to me continuing to, the people I, the two people I remain close with are very resistant to me continuing to distance myself from the group. If I ignore invitations to FaceTime, they'll text me and guilt me into joining in. Do you think there's a diplomatic way to maintain space from the rest of the group without jeopardizing the connections with the two people I'm still close with? Should I just suck it up and continue engaging with the other people, even though it causes nothing but annoyance and stress?

Am I being selfish, letting go of 20 plus year friendships? Thank you so much for all that you do. I'm very much like, if it's not serving you, get rid of it. Yeah. But if the other two are like kind of putting up a fight or whatever, maybe it's like, okay, you do do the FaceTime. but there's a limit, you know? You do five minutes and you're like, oh, I'm so sorry I have to do X, Y, and Z.

It's so hard to, like, get a day where I'm free to do longer FaceTime's because I'm doing X, Y, and Z. Yeah. Yeah. But I also don't love the mental gymnastics of trying to keep these people in your life, but, like, you don't fucking care about.

I know. Yeah, I wonder, because you could just tell those other two people, like, I'd rather just talk to you guys. Like, you can have our own separate thing where we do FaceTimes and chat and stuff, but I don't really want to talk to the main group anymore. And I don't know if that's worth a conversation with the other girls.

Yeah. I think maybe the ones that they still like, they can explain how they feel and why they don't want to do, you know, things with the other people. Because that's happened in my life where like, it's like, oh, I don't really want to hang out with this person anymore because of X, Y, and Z. And I'm like, oh, okay, well, I'll still hang out with them. Oh, now I actually see what that person is. saying, I don't really want to hang out with them anymore either.

Yeah. So maybe the friends that she does talk to don't know why she's feeling that way. So maybe like further explain like this is what I'm feeling and maybe they'll see it themselves. And yeah, because maybe those friends are also like, yeah, join the FaceTime because it just feels easier to be like, there's no problem here. But like once you have to, once you're like there is a problem and I don't want to participate in this, then you have to actually like analyze it. And that's not fun.

No. Yeah. But yeah, I think be honest with yourself and the friends that you like to talk to. And you can also just remove yourself from the group. Yeah. Yeah. You can remove yourself from the group text. Yeah.

And I will say when you're left over from that, sometimes it hurts. Left over? I've been in a group text where someone has left. And because it announces it. You can see it. It goes, so-and-so has left the conversation. And you're like, What?

Yeah. Yeah, it does feel dramatic. It's actually kind of rude that they... Yes. Put it... Yes. This person has left. Left the conversation.

Let them leave silently. Yes. So rude. Mm-hmm. But yeah. But also, like, it could just be like, they're just protecting their peace. Yes. And you guys can have your own thoughts about it, but they just want...

They just got to get out. They got to get out. They got to get out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I don't think I don't think you have to like

No figure out Because also I've tried to have a face time A group FaceTime With someone who I was not getting along with at the time And I can't fake it Like it's just like it sucks your energy And I'm like why am I doing it? Yeah, why am I doing this?

Why am I pretending For this person who's being awful? Yeah Get out of there Yeah Yeah Mm-hmm Solved

Solved Do a more This is more. Hey Nicole, Sashir, and everyone at Team Best Friends. My name is Jasmine and I've been having a little bit of a struggle making friends. I live with my boyfriend of two years and for most of our relationship we've both had at least one friend. But recently he's been making a lot more friends and hanging out a lot more. I'm super happy for him to have new friends but I can't help but feel alone when he's out.

It gets me to a point where I make it about me and cry about how he doesn't have time for me as much anymore. but in reality, I guess I just feel a little left out. I understand he needs guy time and time for himself, so it makes me feel bad that I'm being a buzzkill and making it about me. I live in a small town, so making friends is kind of a challenge. I would love some advice on how I can make more friends and get myself out there. I'm kind of shy, so it's hard for me to talk to others because I'm always overthinking about how they won't like me.

Thank you so much, and I love the podcast. P.S., Nicole, do you listen to Cupcake? If not, I highly suggest you listen to some of her music because I feel like you two match the same vibe about dicks. I understand that. I do listen to Cupcake. I have a cupcake shirt that I once wore to the gym and forgot I was wearing it.

It has one of her lyrics on it. It says, I want to blow bubbles with your sperm. And I was walking around the gym, L.A. Fitness in Hollywood. And people were staring. at me and I was like, what the fuck? And then I went to the fitting room, the changing room, the locker room.

And I looked in the mirror and I was like, that's why they're all staring. I forgot I was wearing this shirt. But yeah, I love Cupcake. She's nasty. That's fun. Yeah, she's got a song about a dick looking like Squidward's nose.

She is delightful. None of her songs are like safe for you to listen around other people. Like, she's wild. I love her. but to our friend our listener I think you got to get a hobby that's always my advice

get a hobby because you'll make friends doing that hobby because you already like the heavy lifting is kind of done you have a shared interest you have something automatic to talk about and even if you don't make a friend at the hobby

at least you're doing something fun at least you're doing something that you like and maybe it's fun to have a solo activity. Yeah. But then, yeah, ideally you meet somebody that feels like-minded and you can hopefully grow from there. You can also ask your boyfriend, like, are there any friends that have a girlfriend

and we could do a double date or something? That's also a very good idea. Yeah, and hopefully you vibe with that person and hopefully make a new friend that way. And I will say, I feel like they need to resist the urge about crying and saying you don't have time for me because you know, because you're saying on one level that you know,

it's just because they've made more friends and that you haven't. So you're like taking it out on him even though you know it's like, not a you problem per se, but like you know that you, if you had more friends, you wouldn't be feeling this way. Yeah. So it's like, don't take it out on him because he has friends. Yeah. Yeah.

And like, you should want him to have friends. Like that's going to enrich both of your lives if you both have community outside of each other. Yes. So yeah, yeah, it really is like what can you do to help yourself get more community and not necessarily what does he need to do to make you feel better about this? Unless it is like, ask you friends. Who else can I hang out with? Uh-huh. And it sounds like they each had one friend when they went into this relationship.

So maybe you could also ask your one friend, hey, I'm looking for more friends. Do you have any that you think I would jive well with? Or jive well with? No, so sure. Use those words. Hey, you got anybody I can jive well with? I'm trying to jive. I'm trying to jive.

The crew. You know, trying to get a crew to drive. You know, get out there, jive. That's why she doesn't have friends. She says jive all the time. Like, I would hang out with her, but... But she says jive too much, and we don't like it. But, yeah, see if there's anyone you can jive with.

We had jive turkey. And Bumble. Bumble has the friend thing, yeah. Which, yeah, I think that's, like, there's no shame in that. Like, everyone's finding people online. May as well find friends, too. Yeah, why not? Yeah.

Solved. And if you have any questions or queries, you can email us at Sashir and Nicole at Or is it Nicole and Sashir at gmail.com? And we got a number. And it is 323-23-23-8-6554. Well, well, see you later. See you later.

Ew, don't touch me with their feet. What are you doing? Goodbye. Best Friends is a production of Headgun Studios. Our producer is Ali Khan. Our executive producers, Anya Kan of Skaya. The show is edited mixed and, engineered by Rochelle Chet.

That was a Headgum podcast.