Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Nicole Ponders Jack and Jill's Origin Story

Episode Date: July 30, 2025

Not only are Nicole and Sasheer best friends, they're also back to recording their podcast about being best friends, Best Friends! Join them as they catch up on all of the fun things that have been going on since their last recording, from debriefing films like Nosferatu and Jurassic Park to learning the truth about what dolphins are up to.Watch this full video on YouTube and follow below!Follow Nicole: Twitter, Instagram, TikTokFollow Sasheer: Instagram, TikTokLike the show? Rate Best Friends 5 stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts!Have a friendship question for Nicole and Sasheer to solve? Leave us a voicemail at [phone]‬ or write in at [e-mail] Friends is a production of Headgum Studios. Our producer is Allie Kahan. Our executive producer is Anya Kanevskaya. The show is edited, mixed, and engineered by Casey Donahue.This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Best Friends via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Oh my goodness, it's been a while, huh? Oh my goodness, when was our last episode? Was it November? Of 2024? Yeah, or something. Is it end of 2024? It's 2025 now. It's been like half a year. Happy New Year. Happy New Year to us.

Happy New Year to best friends. And now we're at Headgum. Yes, we found a new home. Yes. And that is nice, and that's the home of all your 16 other podcasts. I never leave you. You live here.

I sleep at Headgum. Yeah, I was like, it's easier to come to you. Honestly, yeah, it is. It is easier. Sashir, what have you been doing in the time spent away from the podcast? Man, it's like so much life has been lived, I can't even, we saw Jurassic Park.

It's a highlight of my six months. What have you done in six months? I saw Jurassic Park. Honestly, it was a highlight. I saw Jurassic Park Uno with you on your birthday weekend in Palm Springs, but we talked through the whole thing But I got the idea. Yeah dinosaurs are back. Yeah, the people be scared. That's really all the Jurassic parks Well, that was this one, but this one was crazy because it was just like here's the thing

They needed to spend more time in this world where brontosaurus is get stuck under bridges. Oh Yeah, that that actually was interesting. Yeah, I wanna see Big Dinosaur in the city. Yes! Like, show me what are they like in our world. Yes! We keep going to their world, invading their space. What's it like when they're here?

Yes, it'll be like the movie We're Back. Oh, you've talked about that movie, but I can't remember what it's about. It is a movie where a little orphan wishes on a star and then a mad guy who has a circus in one eye, he gets dinosaurs and he ties them up. And he's so mean to the dinosaurs. And then the kid's like, I'm going to set you free. And then they have a parade.

I do. Yes, you showed me the parade scene. I don't know how it ends. Did the dinosaurs stay? And then where did he bring them from? Is it time travel or is he like? Wishing on a star. Oh, by wishing on a star, yes. I don't know.

I absolutely do not know the specifics of this movie, but I know I will mention it a lot. I can't wait for the next time. I gotta say, the teen in the New Jurassic Park. Very funny. He is a star. You kept saying that he's going to be a star. After every line, I kept leaning over being like, Oh boy, he's going to be a star. He was so charismatic. Very funny.

Here's the thing. What would you do if you went to the dinosaurs and they were like crazy? Hide. Mm hmm. What would you do? You went to the dinosaurs and they were like crazy. Hide? What would you do? I don't know, I'd probably get a cute one and be like, hey, help me keep safe. But I was actually excited about that little cute one. I loved that little cute one.

Yeah, I was expecting for like the mom to come out of nowhere and like fight the T-Rex and be like, leave my son alone. Even though they don't talk. But they could have. That could have been a fun departure from the series. Yeah, maybe that'll be the next one. It's like, and then scientists started playing around

with what if dinosaurs talk to us? That happens now. There was like, the scientists are like, try to communicate with dolphins. Do you remember this? We've talked about this, the lady who lived with the dolphins and then was relieving the dolphins. Yeah.

Which is- Sexually. Yikes. Yeah. Really fucking gross. That's how you know you're spending too much time with dolphins. Yeah, if a thought runs through your brain, oh, this dolphin is so horny.

Oh, I gotta relieve this dolphin. That's crazy, you gotta step back and go home to people. I mean, the justification, her justification was that, I guess the dolphin couldn't focus on tasks or the games they were playing because he was so horny. He's like, I gotta rape something. Cause that's what dolphins do, they rape. Dolphins do, they do, it's been proven.

Other species too. Don't even care. Oh yeah. They'll rape a stingray.ray the rape anything. That's crazy Yeah, but so she was like I gotta relieve this horny angry dolphin. It'll jack it off How come I want to acknowledge that you said that thank you so much How come thank you for acknowledging me. I just stop and really acknowledge that you said that I'm gonna hold that space for you But how come there hasn't been any freak animals like I a crossbreeding? Yeah, like a dolphin seahorse. Isn't there there's like a Liger, right? A lion tiger? Yeah, but I'm talking about dolphins raping. Oh, no illegitimate children have come

Children are free Where are the animal children? This is our first episode back, and I'm so glad to be here at HeadGum. Just philosophizing about dolphins like this. But yeah, like why isn't there like a Dolphi-ty? A dolphin man-ity. Oh, maybe. Dolphi-otter.

This is, okay, I mean, this conversation already is horrible, but I was gonna say what if. It's because the dolphins are assaulting species that are smaller than them. And they can't carry a larger animal. Or the dolphins are responsible and they're pulling out and busting on their face. Well, they're like, I don't wanna get you pregnant.

That'd be irresponsible. I can't do that. I just want to mess around. I'm just having fun. Also, when we watched Jurassic Park, there was teens there that were so loud. There was on their phone like giggling and tickling each other.

At one point you're like, is one being tickled? And then it was like, there was a lull in the movie you just heard, hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe Leave them at home. Leave them at home. Yeah. But I was like kind of glad that they were at the movie. I'm just glad that people are going to see movies. I love movies. I love movies too. Every time I leave a movie theater, I'm like, ah, that's cinema.

Same. Like that Nicole Kidman commercial, she's onto something. Oh, yes. There is magic. Yeah. You know? It's true. What else have you done in six months?

Oh, man. I'm sure I've done other things. Uh, I've, I've done other things. Christmas? Christmas happened. Gosh, that happened so long ago. I had Christmas here and I brought my mom here and that was really nice. And we made like flower arrangement Christmas trees and that was really fun. And then, what did you do?

For Christmas? Yeah. I was just here. What did I do for Christmas? I saw, ooh, that horny movie about the vampire where the whole premise was this man who was married to this lady, and she's like, having issues.

So he's like, I'm gonna go to Transylvania and I'm going to get the deed signed by this big old vampire. But like, I don't know. He's a vampire. And also all this weird stuff is going to happen. And I'm not turning around. And then there's like these Romanian people who are like, ah, we're laughing at you. And he was like, what? It's Nicholas Holt.

And then he meets the vampire. The vampire is like, drink this tea, eat my food. Again, I would leave. His hands were disgusting. So then it turns out he was like trying to keep him away from his wife so that he could go fuck the wife. And then the way he dies, spoiler, is this lady fucks the vampire until the break of dawn and he passes away.

And I was like, you're a mighty vampire. Wait, the vampire? Oh, okay. Yeah, no, sir, not to. He's not supposed to be up that late. No, he stayed up past his bedtime. The sun came up and he died. And I was like- The power of women.

The power of women, but also you've lived for so long and you couldn't go, we'll finish this tomorrow night. Like you just let the sun come in and burn you up? Maybe he was just so impressed he could last that long. He's like, I can't believe I'm still going! This is the best day of my life! But also, I think he died inside her,

which is like that, if she was sick before, she gonna be sick later, okay? Cause she was not doing well before that. Oh no. But like if somebody died in me, I'm never recovering from that, you know? I'll talk about that in therapy for the rest of my life. She's like, how was your day today?

Not good, I remembered. Yeah, it's like, do you remember? She's like, yeah, you keep talking about it every time we talk. I would never move on. Yeah, that's pretty traumatizing. Yeah, that's what I do for Christmas. Okay.

Yeah. Did you see that movie? No, I think I remember what you were talking about though. Nicholas Cage movie? Nosferatu. Nosferatu, am I not saying that right? Nosferatu? Nosferatu?

But this is a different movie? Is it a different vampire movie? Or is it the same one? It's Nosferatu, But this is not a different movie? Is it a different vampire movie? Or is it the same one? It's Nosferatu? Yeah. Okay. Well, there's also Dracula with Keanu Reeves. And I saw that after Nosferatu.

And that was wild, cause he was just like, oh no, a vampire. Like it was so, that was like, boy, oh boy. This period piece, I'm taking out of it. But I do love Keanu. We saw Ballerina. We saw Ballerina, yes we did. So for six months we saw movies.

I mean that is what it feels like. That's at the theater. At the cinema. I liked Ballerina. I did too, it was very fun. God, I love John Wick. Oh my God. I was actually, I wasn't expecting so much John Wick

in this movie, because I thought, you know, this is her vehicle. And then, but you know, I'm sure it's good for the fans to be like, John Wick's here too. I mean, I was so excited to see him. Yeah. Did you cry in the fourth one? I told you you might.

I did not. I guess you have no empathy. Because there's a big long staircase. He got up almost to the top and then he fell all the way down. And I was like, he's gonna have to climb those stairs again. And that, to me, that's a setback. I would have to take a break.

But then he was like fighting. And then when he finally got up the stairs, I was so proud of him. Oh my gosh, I sound so dumb right now. Oh, but I love John Wick. I watched the first one again. It's just, it's a perfect movie. Yeah, it's great.

Oh God, and then the lore. I like the telephone operators, like the suicide girls. Oh yeah. Also, the amount of money that they put on the heads of people, it's like too much. It's like, it doesn't make sense. No. It gets like, we're going to four million

and then six million. And then like $20 million? Yeah. I'm retiring. If I get that hit, I'm done. I think that's what the goal is though. That's why everyone's like trying to get them. Yeah, but I don't feel like people are retiring

because in John Wick, the city is, New York City is just Assassins. Yeah, every homeless person is an assassin. Yeah, there's a whole like a Laurence Fishborne played the leader of the homeless assassins and I was like raising pigeons Yeah, and I was like, but does that mean there's supermarket assassins probably like there's the Albertsons gang getting people Oh my god, I saw Lawrence Fishboard in person. Oh, where? He walked into the salon when I was getting my hair done.

My hair was sticking up all over the place and he went, hello. And I was like, I'm not at my best. He was so hot. Oh. Girl, he still looks so good. Okay. Oh my God, his skin, oh, it was nice.

Was he getting his hair done? No, he just came in. And then left? He was perusing, I guess he was like window shopping. I think maybe he bought matches. What kind of salon do you go to? Okay, they sell matches? They sell like matches and like incense and stuff.

Oh, okay. And like candles. It's, so there's a salon in the back and then the front is, yeah, candles, incense, snacks, water, stuff, playing cards maybe. Okay, nice. I don't know, but he came in, he was perusing. I think maybe he bought a snack, I don't know.

Great. But God, he was so hot. Yeah. What else happened? And I bought a car. You did buy a car. I did buy a car. Congratulations. Thank you so much. I had a Tesla and then I got rid of it. Mm-hmm. And now I have, I'm a Mercedes girl. She's a Mercedes girl, come on. I didn't realize how like, it's like a, it's like a club, you have to like, they like really vet you to make sure you're like.

What do you mean vet you? Like if you. I didn't get a phone call asking about you. No one from Mercedes was like, is she good? I would have said no. No, I would have said yes. No, she can spray anything. But kind of.

I do whip a car around like it's a rental, even though you own it. You'll run it. Not anymore. Cause I'm scared to hurt this one. Cause they really are like, we don't want you to crash our cars. And they're like, okay, got it. Okay, I won't.

And then like, yeah, they like kind of let it sly because they want to make sure that you have owned a luxury car before you've owned a Mercedes. And I hadn't because a Tesla is not a luxury car. Sure isn't. That thing is cobbled together with people who said, hi, I'm not gonna open my eyes. It's an iPhone car.

It really is. Some things like pieces aren't connecting and that's not like, I'm not dragging Elliot, what's his name, Elliot, what's his name, Elliot Musk, whatever, I'm not dragging him. They just gotta do some quality control, cause it's not okay. Yeah, yeah, there are things I liked about it,

and there are things I didn't like about it, and yeah, and there's things I like about the Mercedes, and also some things I don't like, but that's cars. That's cars. Yeah, the thing I don't like about my Wrangler is sometimes it would be like, bring the whole car back. We gotta take this apart. It is bad inside.

They took my car for a week. Oh. With no loaner car at all. Was it like, oh, this part is defective now or something? It was like, yes, it was something in, they had to take out the radio and do some stuff in there, I don't know. But yeah, sometimes the screen would just go black

and I'd be like, well, we're flying blind. I don't know. I miss just a car without a computer, just a regular car. I don't think they exist still. All cars have computers. It does seem that way and I don't want that. Old cars have computers too. Well, like the screen I don't want that. Old cars have computers too. Well like the screen situation.

Oh yes, you miss not having a screen. Yeah, I want buttons I can actually push. I feel like a button. You need a Toyota Camry. I do? An old, I need? Toyota Camry? Or a Honda Accord, like an old one.

Yeah, I used to have one. With low, oh you did? Yeah, I used to have the 88 Honda Accord in college. Hey, that's nice. Right? I like an old Honda Accord in college. Hey, that's nice. Right? I like an old Honda Accord, but I think you should get an older car with low miles, find a reliable mechanic,

and then you'll have a car without the screen. All right, that's a good idea. Do you have a good mechanic, or do you just take it to the dealership? Because it's a lease, I just take it to the dealership. But I would like to try and find a trusted mechanic Yeah, because I'm on the hunt for a geo tracker Which is the smaller version of a Wrangler?

Yeah, and I want to lift it put big wheels on it paint it purple do some airbrushing on the side Like I want to look stupid like I want to roll up to red lights and people go Now they probably smile cuz they like, that's different. Yeah, I just want people, I just like, okay, everything is becoming so homogenous. Yeah. With like cars, clothing, buildings, everything looks the same.

I don't want to look like other people. I don't like it. Yeah, it's really sad. Like there's no like craftsmanship. No. People don't care about how things look anymore. No. Some people do, but yeah.

People don't, they don't do crown molding anymore. Where are the accoutrements? Where are the Juliet balconies on homes? That's just a balcony that you really can't step out on. It's just nice. You can just see it. I miss that. It took me a minute. I was like, who's Juliet?

Yeah. Who's Juliet? Why do I know that. It took me a minute. I was like, who's Juliette? Yeah. Who's Juliette? Why do I know that? Yeah, Romeo and Juliette. Cause she like, she's like, hey Romeo, what's up? And he's like, we gonna die soon. But yeah.

That is how that went. It's called a Juliette balcony. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I miss them. Do you know what a bathroom is called when the bedrooms are connected to either side? No. A Jack and Jill bathroom. Oh that's fun. You're so supportive. I don't think you thought that was fun at all. I do think it's fun.

I simply don't think you thought it was fun. Hey, that's fun. It was. Hey, that's fun. Now is Jack and Jill, are they siblings in the same household and their bedrooms are separated? Yeah, but I think it comes from them going up the hill. And I think it's like, you think the name? They went up the hill to the bathroom? You know the story, Jack and Jill went up the hill to the bathroom? No, you know the story Jack and Jill live up the hill. I think they thought it'd be like cute to be like Jack and Jill live in this house. Oh, yeah. Jack and Jill bathroom. Okay, yeah. I just don't think you were really

interested and I think you're asking follow-up questions to be really nice to me. No, I guess I just didn't expect there to be lore. Hey, listen, I don't think there is lore, but I just really thought about it. I think, cause I feel like I've heard Jack and Jill use for other types of things. Like I feel like it's a common boy, girl name to use. And I think it's cause they went up the hill. I think it's because-

People are obsessed with them going up this hill. I think it's because they went up the hill. People are obsessed with them going up the hill. I think it's just like this famous story about Jack and Jill going up the hill. I have no idea what happens after. It's been passed down for centuries. There was a boy and a girl. One named Jack, one named Jill. And they went up that hill. What else happened? They went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Oh.

One fell down and broke his crown. Is that right? Am I? Whoa. And Jill came tumbling after. That's sad actually. That is so sad. Is it a cautionary tale?

Broke his crown? So he busted his head open? Yeah. And then they had to go to the bathroom together. And then they had to. No, maybe she was like, you need your own room. You're recovering. Wait, what happens after?

So Jill comes tumbling down after Jack. I think that's it. I don't know if there's more. That's it? Do it. Yeah, Jack and Jill go up the hill, fetch a pail of water. Jack goes down, broke his crown.

Jill came tumbling after. Yeah. That's tough. I know. Man. That also leads me to believe that like Jack's an asshole. Cause if she fell after him, he probably pulled her down.

Wow. We just solved a crime. No one even knows. It's been right in front of our faces all time. We just solved it. It was a cold case. What happened to Jill? It was Jack the whole time.

It was Jack the whole time. It was Jack the whole time. He did it. He did it with the pail. They were fetching the water and he hit her with the pail. Then she tumbled and he was like, whoa. Oh no. Oh my God. I'm glad we got to the bottom of that.

Me too. I need a six part documentary series on this. Called The Crown. I did watch a documentary on the Tiger King. Oh yeah. Do you know him? Not personally. Do you know of him?

I do. I remember he was all over the Netflix on 2020. Everyone was watching. The Netflix in 2020? Yeah, that's when Tiger King came out. Wait, what did I just say? I said Tiger King? Who am I thinking of? Oh, the liver King.

The liver King? I think that's his name. Who is the liver King? I think that's his name. Liver? As in like the organ or like? I'm 99% sure his name is the liver King. Who is the liver King?

He's a big strong man. He eats bull testicles. Okay, so it's not the same person. No, no it's not. Is it? Does anyone know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Okay.

Casey, oh, he's in my corner. Because I was like, am I going crazy? So, okay, I think it was made by the same people as the Tiger King. This man's called the Liver King. Okay. And he said you have to live by the central tenets, which is like be of the earth, eat raw things,

never cook your food, love your family, sleep on the floor. And he was like big and strong and really muscular. And he was like, I don't use steroids. And then someone found a bunch of emails where it was like, can I get more steroids? And then he was like on steroids. And then he also was selling supplements and he had this whole like,

like he was really rich and stuff. And then his like kingdom tumbled down and now he's not okay. And he's still alive? He's still with us. Okay. And they did a Netflix documentary. Oh my goodness.

And it's really, it's interesting. It's weird. It's like a real freak show. All right, I wanna watch. I think you'll like it. I can't wait. I can't miss. That's what I'm here for.

Tell you about the things I've watched. Yeah. I saw the Pee Wee documentary. That was really good. I don't know Pee Wee Herman. Oh, okay. I know Paul Rubens. Yeah.

I met him one time. Nice. But I've never seen Pee Wee Herman. I grew up watching Pee Wee Herman, Pee Wee's Playhouse. See, okay. Was he on cable or was that a movie? He definitely had movies and the show, it was like Saturday morning so I actually don't know if it was cable or like network TV. I can't remember. I feel like maybe I'm wrong but do you know Ernest? Yeah, I do remember Ernest. Were you an Ernest girlie?

Not really. I feel like there's Peewee girlies and Ernest girlies. I was an Ernest girlie. I loved Ernest Gidd's stupid. Bratz versus Barbie. Kind of, and I think I'm a Bratz girlie. Yeah, it's very funny though, because Ernest and Peewee are both like super physical

and weird. Yes, adult men who were like, I'll be silly. Yeah. And I like it. Yeah, it's very funny though, because Ernest and Peewee are both like, super physical and weird. Yes, adult men who are like, I'll be silly. Yeah. And I like it. Yeah, me too. Ernest goes to jail, that's a banger. Yeah. Ernest did a lot of things. He did so much.

Honestly, I think Ernest paved the way for Medea. I was just thinking that, because Medea also went to jail. Medea went to jail, Medea was just one on vacation. Yeah, Medea has family reunions. Medea be doing a lot. She got scared, stupid, and boo. Medea went to jail. Medea was just one on vacation. Yeah, Medea has family reunions. Medea be doing a lot. She got scared stupid and boo, Medea, a Halloween story. I don't know if that's the name of this.

Very close actually. It was like boo, a Medea Halloween is what it was. Wait, did we see that in theaters together? I definitely saw it with Alan. I don't think you were there. Oh, maybe not. There's a hard turn where it's very religious and I was like, hey, what?

Well, all of them are like, there's like a religious undertone. Mm-hmm. Boy, oh boy. I do, I mean, Madea's funny. They're fun. I saw a live production of one of the Madea stage shows. Me too.

Balled my eyes out. Really? Yeah, they took me to church. I was like, oh my God. How old were you? In my 30s like Like not that far. You're like yesterday. Yeah

in the last month I saw when I was a kid. Oh, and I remember there was a joke where a lady came out in a green sequin dress and someone went you look like a can of Sprite and Everyone in the audience passed away. They're like, ha ha ha. It was the funniest thing anybody had ever heard. I remember being like, whoa, OK. All right. That's a joke. Yeah.

I don't remember if I liked it or not. I don't think I did. We just got to say what someone looks like and people love it. They really do. They really, really do. You know what I'm going to bring back? Is that I'm all that in a bag of do. They really, really do. You know what I'm gonna bring back? What's that? I'm all that and a bag of chips. You should.

Thank you. I'm gonna have a really nice time with it. You look good today. Thank you, I'm all that and a bag of chips. It's very funny that you're saying about yourself though. Like not about like another person or, cause even if it wasn't all that and a bag of chips, if someone was like, you look great,

you're like, thanks, I'm spectacular. wasn't all that in a bag of chips. If someone was like, you look great, you're like, thanks, I'm spectacular. It's just. Well, sometimes when people give me a compliment, I go, I know. So it's not far off from what I'm already doing. That's a good point, that's true.

I was on set, I guess it was two weeks ago at this point, I don't know, but one of the people, I think it was the department head of something, I don't know. But one of the people, I think it was the department head of something, I don't know, but he was like, you look so pretty and I went, I know. He went, oh, and I was like, yeah, I don't need to tell me, but I do like to hear it. So if you wanna say it again later, I'd like to hear it.

He's like, it's aggressive on many levels. I know, but that's how you get your compliments. You tell people you want them. That, sure, that's true, yeah. I do think the bag of chips line would spread faster if you tell people that they're all that in a bag of chips, because they'll be like, whoa, I love that, I'm gonna tell somebody else that too.

Or you can keep it for yourself. You can keep all the chips. I do really wanna keep all the chips. Keep all the chips. Oh my God, I ate so many Doritos the other day, speaking of chips. I poured myself a bowl of Doritos and I just sat there and I ate them. It was such a nice time. Which flavor?

Nacho cheese. Yeah. I think it's honestly the best flavor. Cool Ranch is fine, but I don't know why we did variations of the nacho cheese. I think it's a perfect chip. Definitely. But I might pick Cool why we did variations of the nacho cheese. I think it's a perfect chip. Definitely. But I might pick Cool Ranch over nacho. Really?

Yeah, I know it's controversial. I just don't think of Cool Ranch as versatile as a nacho. Versatile for what? Are you putting things on the nacho cheese? Sure. What do you put on there? You could make some big nasty nachos. With actual cheese?

Yeah. So you do the Doritos, and so you do the, the Doritos and then you do the spicy ground beef and then all the other accoutrements that you want. Oh my goodness. And boy is it calorically dense, but it's a nice time. I was gonna say, it's too rich for me. It's very, very rich.

But I'm a rich lady. Yeah, okay. I once ate ramen every day for a week. Ramen's pretty rich. Yeah, it is. I love ramen. It's great We should get ramen soon. Let's get ramen soon. Okay. I Love ramen. I love it so much and I really like Silver Lake ramen Yeah, and that's not the best ramen you can get but it's really good. It's really good. But also is it?

I don't know. I don't know. I don't think I've, I mean, I guess I've clocked when I've had bad ramen, but most ramen is very good. It's just noodles and soup. It is noodles and soup. And you know what else I've discovered? Udon. Uh-huh. Thick noodles.

Thick girls. I like them. There's this place in Little Tokyo that has udon noodles, and I'm sure there's many, but there's one that I know of. It's in a mall, and it's so good. and also there's a karaoke place right underneath of it so we should get those noodles too and then do karaoke just the two of us I'm down I don't need a party of people to do karaoke I'm always ready to do karaoke I like doing karaoke when we're with other people because you'll do

Evanescence and I'll do the man part and you'll do the lady part and it really makes me happy. And it's also so hard. It's one of the hardest songs. You keep telling me to do it. You're like do Evanescence. I'm like yeah I love this song and I start singing I'm like God this is hard. It's so high up and you sing on key and stuff. I try. You do a good job. I'm a purist. Thank you. I'm gonna learn how to sing though. I believe in you. You think I don't? Well, I mean, I have brought it up recently. But when I said I wanted to join Cirque du Soleil and you said I couldn't do it. I didn't say you couldn't do it. It just sticks out in my mind.

Sometimes when I tell you I want to try something new, I'm like, does she actually believe in me or does she not want me to bring up Cirque du Soleil again? I just I Think what I was trying to say is that it's really hard for anyone to do Cirque du Soleil Including circus people who have been training for their lives. So it's just a hard thing to do. But you know, if you want to do it, you go for it, girl. I mean, how old was Rosa Parks when she sat on the bus?

See, but I don't think it's a skill that people are training for. I bet you she sat every day. I bet you she did, you know? I think she was training subconsciously. Probably she's like, I don't know how that was gonna lead me, but something big's happening. I think she was in her 30s when she sat. What I'm saying is, I don't think I'm too old to become really flexible.

No, definitely not. And join Cirque du Soleil. Again, these are not things that I said. I just said it was hard to do, for anyone to do. You know, sometimes you just hope your best friend supports you. Like I support you. You were picking through trash the other night

and a lady rolled her eyes at you and like huffed. And I was like, hey, she's allowed to pick through the trash if she wants to pick through the trash. I have to tell this whole story. No context. No, you can't just say I'm done through the trash. No context. I was walking past an alleyway

and I saw a suchears spider climb into a dumpster. Don't tell them that. We were at a wedding. Yes. And there were these really cute like cards that had our name with our table number on it for the reception. And I wanted to keep mine, but it was like double nodded. And I was like, I can't get this look at it later.

And then like, you know, later happened and the custodians were just ripping them off the wall, crumbling them and throwing them in the trash. And I was like, no! And the trash just had the tags as far as I could see. It wasn't like nasty trash. And so they're like, they're in there if you want to look. And I was like, I will look. And I said, Sashir, don't dig in the trash.

And I dug in the trash. And then a lady started judging you. And I was like, she'll dig in the trash if she wants to dig in the trash, because that's who I am. I support you. Only you can judge me. Yes.

But in front of other people, I'm supporting you. That's true, and I appreciate that. I'll judge you alone. I'll tell you my real thoughts alone, but in front of other people. No, no, no. You wanna be a trash lady? You be a trash lady.

Thank you, I appreciate that. You're welcome. I'm gonna be a trash lady soon. Soon? What does that mean? I told you. I'm gonna wake up really early and wait for the trash truck to come by

and then I'm gonna run outside and say, hey, can I have a ride? I wanna get in there. I wanna get in there so bad. I chased one down in New York, but he wouldn't stop. Chased? Well, I mean, I walked briskly and I went, hey, please let me get on.

He wouldn't let me on. I'm so sorry. It's okay, I just like to think that like, it's New York City. He was looking at all the buildings and didn't see me. He's like, wow, it's magic here. The Big Apple who would have thunk little old me. Peanut trash in New York City. Honestly yeah that's what I'm

hoping happens. I hope so. You don't want to be ignored. Mm-hmm. You know? Yeah. Did you know when the trash people want to make a point and usually it's like we asked for more money the city said no they go on strike in the summer. Oh that's smart. I love it. We're needed. Yes because they are needed. They are needed. And I love that go on strike in the summer make a whole town stinky. I think that's so smart. Very smart. And then I saw on Instagram a video of a lady I think this is in Philly I think they went on strike in Philly. They might be off strike. I don't know I didn't follow up but this lady and her mom were like we'll come pick up your trash and take it away for like

25 bucks and I was like not only are you a scab? Yeah, but you're filling up your trash for $25. Yeah, that's wild At least a hundred. Wait, you thought that was low? Yes. I actually have no idea how much I pay for my trash. It's in taxes. It's included? No, I think we pay separately.

It's a la carte? Well, I don't think it's a la carte, but I think it's just like, you pay the city for the trash service, I think. I feel like it's part of my taxes. Is it part of taxes? Is it a part of taxes? It's like part of LA Department of Water and Power. Yeah.

Oh. How much is trash? How much is trash? Yeah, how much is trash? How much trash costs? How much trash? It's like 50 a month. Okay.

And this lady, $25? Wait, for per what? Per week? I guess she's picking it up per week, so I guess it is more than what you normally pay. But to fill up your Honda Accord with trash? You've got juice in there. You don't think she rented a truck? No, it looked like her personal vehicle.

But also, I didn't get to the bottom of it. I watched while I was doing other shit, and I went, oh, that's nasty, and then moved on. And then I was like, better repeat this on the record on a podcast with no actual facts to back it up. Got it, got it. I do that a lot. I say things so confidently,

and somebody's always like, huh, what, no, I have questions. Where'd you get that from? And I'm like, the internet. Yeah, or he's made it up. Yeah, sometimes I'd be making shit up. But not like important stuff. No. No, but if you ask me a follow-up question,

I might just, you know, off the jump be like, this. But that's like the fun in life. Yeah, why not? And whimsical. Is this true? Mm-hmm. I bought a new pillow. Me too.

I actually bought three new pillows at a state sale. What are you, a Rockefeller? Three? Yeah, they're each like $4. But two, I was like thinking about my pink couch and two of them have like pink and green and they're white, but they're very like Miami vibes, like 80s vibes, which are fun,

but they don't match the other stuff in that room. Oh sure, I get that. It's like, it can work. I think it's okay. I'm still testing it out. They're in there. They're in there. You can come over and see them.

I can come over and see them? Yeah. Oh, I'm gonna drive on over and see them. Please. Or you can take a picture and show me. No, you gotta see it in person with full scope of it. I think you're actually right. Yeah.

The pillow I bought, all right, this is gonna be hard to describe. Can't wait. Okay, so it is shaped like arms. Yes. This is one side of the pillow, and then that's more pillow, and then that's other pillow.

Okay. This is a flower. It's a five petal, I think a lily. The end of the pillow? My hand is a big lily. And then this is like the stem of the lily, and then that's another lily. And it's so much bigger than I ever imagined.

And it's on my bed, and that nice boy I'm dating went upstairs and sent me a picture, and was like, you have to warn me when you put gigantic things in your room like that. It scared him, I think. It's huge. And I have-

It's like Little Shop of Horrors in there. Oh my God, it is a little bit like Little Shop of Horrors. And I have to be so careful when I remove it from my bed because the first time I took it off, I knocked over everything on my nightstand. I was like, okay. And then it was like, clack clack clack. And I was like, oh no.

And then I was like trying to juggle there was like, and I was like, oh no, and then I was like trying to juggle everything. So now I lift it like this, and I walk backwards, and then I put it on the little chair next to my bed. It's a lot, I've made my life hard. Is it as big or bigger than the pillow that you have that look like actual arms?

The other. That question really makes it sound like my house is a freak show and it kind of is. I mean, it surprises me that you didn't watch Pee-wee's Playhouse because it's like that. It's like chairs that come to life. It is bigger if you can believe. Wow.

It's just as long but the flowers are much bigger than the hands. Boy oh boy. And I really like it. I think it's the company is called like Giggle Something. And I was like, this is even a fun company name. And it's fine. Oh, my God. And then it came in this box and I opened it and it like sprung. Oh, I had such a nice time. Oh, wait, I was going to tell you something else.

I bought a pillow. Well, we got that cover. Got that out of the way. Oh dang, what was it? I don't remember, but I am going to hang a chandelier in my garage. That's fun. I'm very excited about it. I just decided I want glamour and weird shit everywhere. Yeah, I like that.

Hey, thank you. I did, I think I saved it to send it to you, but I don't know if I sent it to you, but there was a video where these two friends were like showing my friend the scary basement in my house. It's just like the area they never go to. And they're like opening a door and they're like, what's that door lead to?

And they're like, I don't know, just shut it. That's so funny. But do you want to see my scary under the house area? I think I've seen it, but I'll come over and see it again. Yeah, I don't think I've seen yours. You've never seen my unders? Mm-mm. You've never been in my basement?

No. It's so, it's a California basement, so it's really, really small, but it is scary. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And there's nothing down there but paint and old wallpaper that I am saving. I don't know.

I don't wanna get rid of it. What if there's a rip in my wallpaper? I don't know. Can wallpaper rip? Once it's on the wall? I don't know. Should I just get know. Yeah? Should I just get rid of it?

No. No, you keep that forever. No. I feel like as soon as I get rid of something, I need it. I'm like, damn, I needed that just collar that I took off of a jacket years ago. Yeah. I guess I'll just keep that wallpaper.

I did try to get rid of some wallpaper. I put it in my stories for like the close friends and they were like, you're trying to give away half a roll of wallpaper and I was like, I'll take it down. Yeah, I'll just- But someone can use it for like inside their cabinets or something.

That's what I was thinking, but I was shamed. Oh, I'm sorry. I was shamed for giving away my stuff. Shaking my dang head. Oh, I'm sorry. I was shamed for giving away my stuff. Shake my dang head. Rude. I know. I have so much clothing I need to get rid of. I keep buying things.

Oh wait, I know this is not what I wanted to say earlier, but I'm reminded of something. Yeah. I got got. Okay, so there's this movie called Hearts and Souls. It is not available anywhere for streaming because streaming platforms just take everything off now. And here's the thing, we should have physical media.

And I'm back into it. I'm buying shit. I got a VCR. I have a diva drip player and I'm buying physical media. So it's a movie called Hearts and Souls. And have you seen it? Is that with like a drag queen and a little girl? No, I don't think it's anybody else.

No. Oh, I think you're thinking of the RuPaul, I think it's Aja in the queen or AJ in the queen. No, it was like this little black girl. It was a 90s movie. And I want to say Vane Raymes was the drag queen. I have no idea what you're talking about but I want to see it. Vin Reims was I think was the drag queen with a little girl?

I think so. And what was what's what happens in the movie? They become a family or something like that. I can't remember. Did you find a holiday heart? Yeah, that's a holiday heart. I can't remember. Did you find anything? Is that a holiday heart? Yeah, that's it. Holiday heart. Not heart and soul. I've never heard of this movie. So Vin Reims is a drag queen who adopts a little girl may become family?

I don't know. I think so, but I don't know. We should watch it. I would love to watch it. It sounds right up my alley. So Hearts and Souls is not that. Oh, never mind then. It's a Robert Downey Jr. movie where a bus full of people get into a car accident and fall off the side of a building and they swerved to get out of the way of a pregnant couple rushing to the hospital and then they have a baby who grows up to be Robert Downey Jr. who hears voices because the ghost of the people who died on the bus are now attached to him for some reason, they don't know why. So then he shuts them out and he says, I wanna talk to you.

And then he turns a certain age and then suddenly he can hear them again. And then he has to help them fulfill their like, last unfinished business. Wow. It's a good movie. Okay, good. And it's nowhere on any streaming platform.

So I bought the DVD, well no, I bought the VHS. And when it got to my home, it was the DVD, well no, I bought the VHS. And when it got to my home, it was the DVD, but the cover of it was a VHS box out of the package. Oh, that's rude. It rocked my world. That's weird. It was really mean. And it wasn't even a DVD, it was a Blu-ray.

And I don't have a Blu-ray disc player. Which is also like, what does it serve them to lie? Why can't it sell it to someone's Blu-ray player? I don't know, it served themray disc player. Which is also like, what does it serve them to lie? Why can't they just sell it to someone who owns a Blu-ray player? I don't know, it served them because it got sold. That's true. To this fucker. Oh. To this bag of chips. No, oh no, but you're all that.

I thought I was all that, but I got caught. Oh no. I was so upset, so then I bought it again on VHS and I messaged the seller on eBay, I said, is this a VHS? And they said, yeah, the listing says VHS, and I didn't know what to be like, ah, god, god. You're like, so many people are not listing it correctly.

But yeah, you can come over and watch that. Okay, good. So now I have on VHS Ghost, Sister Act, Eddie, because you can't stream Eddie anywhere either. Do you know the movie Eddie? Oh yeah, you definitely described it in detail to me forever. Okay.

I've described it so many times to people, but yeah, I'm just like, I should get Craven on VHS. Oh wait, no, they don't make them anymore. I should get it on DVD? I don't know, but I was recently in a hotel and we couldn't get Craven to stream anywhere. And I was really upset about it. So I should have a physical copy of Craven

so I can bring it with me everywhere. But then even if you bring it, where are you gonna play it? Cause like TVs don't have DVD players. Oh, okay, so Logic came in? Oh, okay, you can't play it? But even like laptops don't even have a little slot for CDs or DVDs. Well maybe I'll get a travel DVD player.

You should. That I only bring with me when I travel. I hate that you really logic that. Well I was just concerned, cause you were bringing a DVD to play it where? No you're right. I guess I'll have to either buy like an old computer with a DVD slot hole,

or bring my DVD player with me. Aw man. Maybe you could rent out a theater and then give them the DVD so they can play it. Imagine everywhere I go before bed, I go rent out a movie theater. I'm in my jammies and I'm like, someone will carry me home.

Cause I want to watch Craven as I doze off to sleep. Yeah. I can't believe you didn't like Craven as much as I did. Casey has heard me talk about Craven so many times. I can't believe you like it as much as you do. I love it. It was wild. It was such a good movie.

I loved it so much. I did like the Craven growing up phase as a teen. I was like, this is intriguing. And then it was Craven in the City. And I was like, nah. Craven in the City. The reboot of Caroline in the City. Craven in the City. I have no idea what that show is about.

She's like living and dating or something. I feel like everyone in the city is dating. You know? Working. Yeah, that's the thing to do if you live in a city. Just like date, work, date, work, date, work, date, work, work, date, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work Work. Date. Work. Date. Work. Date. Work. Date.

Work. Work. Oh, until you die. It is kind of wild that like that's what life is. You date people, you work. Maybe you try to have some fun. Some people don't have fun. Some people don't have fun. Some people don't have fun.

Isn't that crazy to think about? Yeah, it's bad. Like I saw a tweet somewhere, somewhere on Twitter. And this person was like, isn't it crazy that you like talk to people all day at work and then you go home and you're silent and you look at your phone until the next day when you go talk to people.

And I was like, you're not gabbing on the phone at night? Yeah, you're not hanging out with people after work. Yeah, you're not talking to your dog. You're not gabbing on the phone at night. Yeah, you're not hanging out with people after work. Yeah, you're not talking to your dog. You're not going to the cinema. You're not ordering hot dogs. You gotta order some hot dogs. Live life! This is what it's about.

Yeah, you can have fun anywhere. I was at a hotel over the weekend and lunch started at 11, which I think is crazy, but we were checking out and I was like, I would like to have lunch before we leave in bed because I love eating in bed. That's not my bed, because like if crumbs get everywhere, I'm not cleaning it.

And I wanted a club sandwich because I had a club sandwich the day before and I'm in my sandwich era. I love a simple sandwich. Yeah. And I called at 10 45, 15 minutes to 11. And I was like, well, they're probably changing over. They could probably make me the club sandwich. So I called and I was like, hi, I just want to place an order for two club sandwiches. And he was like, oh no, I don't know if I can make you that club sandwich because we're still on

breakfast. Let me go check. And then he was gone for a while. And he goes, I did it. I did it. He didn't want to I can make you that club sandwich because we're still on breakfast Let me go check and then he was gone for a while and he goes I did it I did it he didn't want to do it for you, but I fought for your right to eat what you want to eat And I went thank you so much for fighting for my right He said I'm down here working for you, and I went I'm so grateful that you're working with me. Oh my gosh. And we had such a nice time listen Listen, you can find Joy anywhere. It's true. I'm fighting for your right.

He was so funny. He was at the Roosevelt Hotel. So if you're ever in a like, hall room service, and that man will fight for your right to eat what you want to eat. He's like, I'm bleeding right now. We really scrapped. The chef hit me for suggesting a club sandwich before 11.

He threw a pan at my head. Oh, I really, I just, I have fun everywhere. me for suggesting a club sandwich before 11. He threw a pan at my head. I really, I just, I have fun everywhere. Isn't it wild that people just don't? It is wild that people don't. Like somebody could have reacted to that man going, I'm fighting for your right to eat what you wanna eat at the time you wanna eat, and they would have been like, thank you.

Yeah. Isn't that crazy to think about? Yeah, it's really sad. I'm glad I'm not one of those people. Thank goodness. You know how to play. I do know how to play. Do you ever like, listen to other people's conversations in restaurants and go, huh, I feel bad for your life.

I, uh, prop, I mean, I don't know if I listen to people's conversations. Are you alone when this happens? No, I'm with people and I go shh. Shhh. They're having a bad conversation. I definitely listen when there's fights happening. That's exciting. You're doing this in public? I told you about this.

There was a couple, I think it was like a first date or something, but this man was droning on and on and on about Star Wars and this lady hadn't said one word. And I truly wanted to lean over and be like, are you okay? Like, has he taken you? Like, are you okay?

Do you like this? You can tell him that you don't wanna talk about Darth Maul anymore. That's him, right? That's one of the guys? That's one of the guys for sure. He's the one who rides the scooter. I know, I don't ride the scooter.

There's one guy I really like. Maybe? He's in the black mask with the little cracks, he looks like lava. And he rides the scooter. With the red head? I love him. Oh, it's red, he's a red head. Oh, he has little horns?

Yeah. He's so funny. I'm like, he's so funny. I'm like, this is what you people are obsessed with? This man on a Vespa? What? Well, you know, he's gotta get around. Yeah. Yeah, but like they're in space and like, they're in the future.

Like that's a first draft. You know what I mean? George Lucas, come on. That's a first draft. You know what I mean? George Lucas, come on. That's a first draft. He's riding on a space Vespa. That's funny. Maybe it was like, we just need a different vehicle. Cause we already did like, I don't know.

What are they called? That's the little fighter pilot spaceship thingies that Luke was in. You watched all of them. Yeah, I did. And I only remembered Darth Maul and his Vespa. You should have joined in the conversation. I should have.

Do you remember the horns? Do you remember the Vespa? And he's like, yes, the Vespa! He's like, I love that Vespa! He just shifts to you now you're having a date. Wait, now I'm really trying to figure out what they're called. X-Wings? X-Wings?

X-Wings? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would never have gotten there. That makes sense, though, because they're... Oh, yeah, I guess they are. Wait, have you written, in Disney World or Land, I don't know which one's here. There's a Star Wars place and then a thing takes you around and you see bits and stuff from the Star Wars. Yeah. And then

Dom Al Gleeson's there. Yeah. Oh, he looks good even in a hologram. I think he's so hot. But that character is so funny because he's very, he's like a little, little meanie. I love it. She's like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, God. I love a grumpy whining man. I don't want one in like my life, but I like to watch a whining man. Oh my goodness. Y'all, that was a fun ride. God, it's so cute.

It's like really like impressive how Disneyland will make so many compartments of a ride. And I'm like, where are we? Underground? In the air? Where am I? I have no clue. And then it's wild cause it's like those houses

that are in hills. We were like, this looks like a small house. And you're like, well damn, baby got back. Cause you're just like, this ride is so big. It's so big. Yeah, where are we? That's a good question. You should at one point scream, where are we? Stop the ride. Where are we? That's a good question. You should at one point scream,

where are we? Stop the ride! Where are we? What? What? Like you're on Indiana Jones, you're like, ah! I had that experience in Indiana Jones. I was like, where the fuck are we?

Where did we go? Again, must be underground, but I was like, we're so far underground. It is wild. Yeah. Disney's a wild place. A wild place. It's not intuitive either.

I got lost there once. In Disneyland? Yeah, I was trying to find people, and I had a map. And I was just like, I don't, this is too hard. They were at Tatiana's Wild Ride or something, and I simply couldn't find it. And then I was like They were at Tatiana's Wild Ride or something, and I simply couldn't find it. Yeah. And then I was like, where is Tatiana's Wild Ride?

And they're like, you mean, da, da, da. I don't remember what it's actually called, because people there are so mean if you don't know Disney stuff, like the patrons. Everybody you talk to. I was like, I wanna take a picture with Pluto, and they're like, Pluto's not over there. And I was like, well then what's that? And they're like, goofy,. I was like, I wanna take a picture with Pluto, and they were like, Pluto's not over there. And I was like, well then what's that?

And they were like, Goofy? And I was like, huh, okay, oh okay. They are two very different dogs. But they're both dogs, right? That's true, but Pluto doesn't talk. Pluto's a true dog. Goofy has a whole life. He worked with Jack.

Well then how are they in the same universe? I don't know, no one knows. It's never true dog. Goofy has a whole life. He worked with Jack. How are they in the same universe? I don't know. No one knows. It's never been answered. And is so Pluto don't talk. Daffy, does he talk? Yeah. So all the other animals talk except for Pluto. Wait, is it Daffy or Donald?

I don't know. Which one? Daffy's. Yeah, Donald's Disney. Then who's Daffy or Donald? I don't know. Which one? Daffy's? Donald's Disney. Yeah, Donald's Disney. Then who's Daffy? From Looney Tunes. Ha ha! So this happened while we had a tour guide,

like the Disney service where they like, it's my favorite thing, they escort you to the opposite end of the ride, to the exit, and then you look a child in the face and go, not your turn yet. I'm a VIP, excuse me. Sorry. But she was like, where did you grow up?

Why don't you know these things? Because there was several things I just didn't know about Disney. I don't know. I just, I don't know. Cartoons or cartoons? Cartoons or cartoons. But there's different like cartoon companies, you know?

Okay. I mean, I fundamentally understand that, but I couldn't believe that she was a gas. She was like, what? No, that's Goofy or whoever it was. So sorry I yelled at that. And then she was like, do you still want the picture? And I was like, no, no, I don't. I don't even know what it is.

I don't know who it is. I don't want anything from you. The stranger. I don't want anything. Just. I'm sure the stranger. I don't want anything. Just take me to the Incredicoaster. I went to Disneyland for Pride night, and it was so fun, and Claire Belle Cow. Who?

I know, she's a deep cut, to be fair. Oh, is she the bitch in the heels? Yeah. And she's a cow? She's a cow, but also a gay icon now. I don't know when that happened. Really? Yeah. What do you mean, she's a gay icon? She's a cow, but also a gay icon now. I don't know when that happened. Really? Yeah.

What do you mean, she's a gay icon? She's a gay icon. I don't know if it's just because she's like a big lady in heels, plomping around. But everyone loves her. And she was truly like the marshal of the parade. Like she had her own spotlight moment. We're like, Clarabelle!

It was really funny. That's wild. She's just a cow who wears the same shoes as Minnie and Daisy. Yes. Mm-hmm. And I don't remember where she comes from. She's like from the past,

but like she's not in current cartoons and hasn't been in a long time, but she's like, maybe she was Goofy's girlfriend at one point in time? The cow was a dog's girlfriend. This is because what are they, dolphins? Truly, because in a Goofy movie, they're all dogs. This is true. Yeah.

But then in other movies, they're mixing them up. Yeah. And most Disney movies, I guess, with like the Mickey Mouse crew and all animals hang out. Interesting. Ali, can you? Yeah. Can you tell me where Clarabel's from? Yeah. I. I would like to know where she's from. I am. me too.

Clarabelle first appeared as a non-humanized cow in the Mickey Mouse cartoon Plane Crazy in 1928. 1928, that bitch is old. She's been around. Damn. She is often paired as Goofy's girlfriend. Ooh. Wild. But not always.

Sometimes she's alone, sometimes they break up. That's so not always. But sometimes he's alone. Sometimes they break up. That's so wild to me because Mickey is with Minnie. He's stuck to his own kind. Wow. Wow. Mites should be with mites, like God intended. I guess I really shouldn't phrase it like that. So wild.

His own kind. His own kind. Daffy's with Daisy. Donald. Who's Daffy? Again from Looney Tunes. He has the black feathers and orange bill and orange legs. Bugs Bunny, that world. Then who are the DuckTales?

Is he not in the DuckTales? Is he not he's not in the DuckTales? Who's them? They're just other Disney ducks. Those are Disney. And that's Scrooge McDuck. A different Disney duck as well. Yeah. He's not with the DuckTales? Is he with the DuckTales? Okay, he's one of the DuckTales. Because then those children swim in his coins or does he swim in his own coins? Okay, he's one of the DuckTales. Because then those children swim in his coins, or does he swim in his own coins? He swims in his own coins,

but he is the uncle of Huey, Louie, and Dewy. It feels like I was electrocuted after I hit like 10, and I simply don't remember anything. So wait, Scrooge McDuck is the uncle of those DuckTale children ducks, but then who's their mom? This I don't know. But they're Disney.

Most moms die in Disney. You think I would enjoy Disney more then? As you know, my mom's dead. Yeah, unless you just didn't want to be reminded of that. Oh, maybe that's why I forgot all of Disney. Maybe. I watched a lot of Disney as reminded of that. Oh, oh, maybe that's why I forgot all of Disney. Maybe. I watched a lot of Disney as a kid. Oh.

But the animated movies and they don't have the staple characters. No, that's true. I guess those are like the TV shows or the 1920s movies. Yeah. How many friends does Mickey have? Name them.

Donald, Daisy, Minnie, Goofy, Pluto, which I guess is his pet technically, but also a friend. I guess that's it. Is that just the core? That's the core group, yeah. Oh, I thought there was more. There's offshoots, but I think it's just, that's like the crew.

It's really interesting to me that Disney, so they had like, you know, animals that talked and stuff, and then they like hard pivoted to just animated people. What will they pivot to next? I think this is like, they're just telling different stories. Some have people. like they're just telling different stories. Some have people. No, what will they put the two next? Well, they've already got robots covered. Oh yeah, and cars.

And cars, yeah. You know what's funny? I've never seen cars. Actually, I haven't either. I love actual cars. And you love cars, yeah. And the reason why I won't watch the movie Cars is I'm afraid it's going to be bad. And then I'll just ruin the imagery of cars to me. It'll ruin cars for you?

You won't like any vehicles anymore? No, because every time I see Lightning McQueen, I get excited, even though I don't know anything about it. I've heard it's a good movie. I just can't risk it. I don't want to be sad. I understand. Oh my God. I'm crying over anything about it. I've heard it's a good movie. I just can't risk it. I don't wanna be sad. I understand. Oh my God, I'm crying over Lightning McQueen. Oh my God, did I ever tell you about the lady I saw

who had a Cars themed car? No. And then she hopped out of the Cars themed car and she was wearing a Cars t-shirt. Oh, that's fun. And I went, oh my God, I love your car. And then she came over and started talking to me like I'd seen the movie and I had to be like, yeah.

I was like, oh my, yes. She would say like the names of characters and I would just repeat her. Oh boy. And the scooter guy with the red face. He's like, yeah, scooter. That was a call back. It was.

I didn't see the movie. Well, oh wait, we usually answer listeners questions. We didn't talk about the format at all before coming on over here. I know, we really just free-balled it. We really fucked that up. Because I was like, we should do listener emails. We don't have them. We don't have them.

We didn't give anybody access to the email address. Do we have a number? I don't think I have a number. Someday we'll have a number. We're still new here. Do you remember when I thought that was a phone that somebody had? Yeah, you're like, who has it? Who has the phone?

We just had this Google voice number that people could call and leave voicemails, and I thought it was a physical phone that somebody had. Someone is paying for service for an iPhone that's just sitting somewhere. That's truly what I thought that they had like a mint mobile phone. Did you know plans start at $45 a month? Is this an ad? Is this a built-in ad? I've done so many ads for mint mobile. Then I you know maybe maybe the best of mad space.

We gotta end this episode. Okay, well, this was fun. It was fun. Glad we're back! I'm glad we're back too, and I had fun catching up. Yes. I feel like I've slowly lost my mind during this episode. Alright, see you next time.

Goodbye! All right, see you next time. Goodbye. One, two, three. Hello, I'm Joe Mirko Sirisi. And I'm Russell Daniels. And we're the co-hosts of The Downside. Now on HeadGum. We are a safe place to complain, be negative, kvetch. We don't like toxic positivity. No.

Because it's toxic. We're not gonna sit there going, hey, look at the bright side. Enough of the bright side. That's all anyone's talking about these days, the fucking bright side. So tune in to some of your favorite comedians, some celebrities.

Like Caleb Huron, Brennan Lee Mulligan, Alana Glazer, Bizzy Phillips, and Dan Soder. We let them come on and we let them share what's shitty about their life. We look at the things that seem nice on the surface and we go, why is it shitty underneath? It's a fun time, but it's a place you're going to listen and go, oh, thank God I'm not any of those three people on that show right now. I feel better about my life. So please subscribe to us on Spotify, Apple podcasts, Pocket Casts, or watch us on YouTube. New episodes every Tuesday. This is The Downside.