Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Nicole Thinks Ignorance Is Bliss

Episode Date: October 9, 2024

This week Sasheer surprises Nicole by having freshly painted nails and in head-to-toe denim. Then, the two dig into Nicoles' midnight text, their individual sleep styles, and we find out what famous 90's film Nicole attributes the quote "Ignorance Is Bliss" from. Oh, and they help out listeners by answering some questions too! Email or call Nicole & Sasheer with your friendship questions at:[e-mail] Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link: https://siriusxm.com/friends.

Hey friends! Hey! We're gonna take a little bit of hiatus. Just a little. Just a little. You can still listen to our best friend episodes anywhere you get podcasts. Anywhere. Anywhere. We still have transcripts. Where are they? Earwolf.com. You're like it must be Earwolf.com slash best friends. And yeah, just stay on the lookout. Stay on the lookout. We'll let you know when we're back. We'll tell you. Bye.

Bye. I thought I had to sneeze. Sorry. I was like, what's happening? ["Sexy Girl"] Hello, Sashir! Hi, Nicole. What's on your fingers? Rings?

No, on the tips of your fingers. I have fingernail polish on. Wild. I truly don't think I have seen nail polish on you since New York. Yeah, this is true. I used to paint my nails a bunch in my younger days. Yes. In my youth.

In your youth. But then it was like damaging my actual nails because I was using cheap polish that wasn't caring. And then I was like, oh, I should stop painting them to strengthen the nails back up. And then I just forgot, oh, I should stop painting them to strengthen the nails back up. And then I just forgot to paint them ever again. TARA LAUGHS You're also head to toe in denim.

Who are you? I don't know. I guess I pulled this shirt out. And then I was like, what if we put jeans with it? I don't know. Where is my friend who is comfy and natural? Ha. Ha.

It's wild. Yeah, she's artificial and uncomfortable. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. I'm trying to figure out how to get jeans made. Oh, I wouldn't know. I know. Nobody does. I'm trying to get a print on denim fabric.

And I found a website, but I simply don't get it. Yeah. It's really hard. So I have a picture of what I want printed on the jeans, but then they were like, you can either tile it or it can be the whole print. And I'm like, that one, I want that. And they keep being like,

this is not a high resolution enough picture. So you can't have that. It's really frustrating me. Is it possible to get a higher resolution picture of the thing you want? Hmm, maybe. I did buy the pants that are too small. So I guess I could take a picture of the pants

instead of a screenshot from the internet. Definitely. So you have the jeans that you want. You just need them in a bigger size. Yes. And the jeans that you currently have have the print. Yes, the jeans that I have have the print, but I need to take a picture of the jeans

so I can then submit it to a website so then they can make me the fabric that I can then have to then make the jeans in the size I want. What is the print? It is black with white polka dots and pink roses. And I visited five fabric stores and they were like, no, we don't have that. No, no.

I even went to Mood. Mood didn't have it? Mood didn't have it from Project Runway fame. Yeah. And you know what else didn't have what I needed? You, at 2 a.m. I texted you and you never texted back. What did you text me? Wouldn't it be funny if when planes landed early,

they got a speeding ticket? I actually did see that and I was like, I'll get to this later. This is not a pressing matter. I was cackling last night at two or whatever time I sent it. When did you? Wait, hold on. Let me see when you actually did send it.

It might have been like midnight. I was definitely asleep. Yeah, it was midnight. I was laughing because I saw a helicopter with police lights on it. And I was like, why do you have police lights on a helicopter? Who are you pulling over in the sky? Planes. But they're not!

When you get there early, there is no repercussions for speeding. Well, I think the helicopters are just for searching people on the ground. Like when there's a manhunt, or like a chase. But why do you need lights? Why do you need the red, white, and blue lights? Oh, I guess a chase, but why do you need lights? Why do you need the red white and blue lights? Oh, I guess I guess I don't know why the helicopter has police light You're in the sky. I can't pull over maybe so, you know, you're in trouble and you're not just like oh my god

No pictures, please. It's like a spotlight. You're like I would love to meet that criminal that's like, oh, my god! I'm on camera! Who, me? Oh, no, you're looking for moi. And they see the red lights. They're like, oh, gotta go! Gotta go!

It's the cops! Yikes! That's so funny. I wish a police helicopter pulled over my flight earlier. I was on a flight that landed an hour early and we were like, oh my God, we're gonna have a day. And then we had to sit on the tarmac for like two hours. So we actually de-planned an hour later

than we should have. Cause they were like, oh, we have to wait for this previous plane to leave the gate that we're supposed to get in. And then that plane had technical issues. So we had to wait for them to fix whatever the hell was going on with that plane. And then we got to our gate. But I was like, why do we even speed up for this?

I pull him over. Yeah. Pull over that ass too fast. Whoop, whoop. That ass is too fast. That is wild that you landed an hour early and then de-planned an hour late. I guess I was like still sitting,

so I guess if we're sitting in the air or sitting on the ground, it doesn't matter. But it's more frustrating on the ground, because you're like, I should be off this plane already. Yes, they should circle. Yeah. Circle the block. Give us a scenic route.

Yeah. Show some stuff. Show me an oceanic route. Yeah, show us some stuff. Show me an ocean or two. Point at some mountains. Don't just have me on the ground. Right? But get other planes deplaning. Yeah, that's frustrating.

It's frustrating. Oh my God, Sashir. I am sore. Why? Because I did pull. Yeah. And Veronica believes in me too much. Yeah.

I'm upside down now. Mm-hmm. That's great. And I have a permanent right to fall. Yeah. And Veronica believes in me too much. Yeah. I'm upside down now. Mm-hmm. That's great. And I have a permanent bruise on my leg

because I can only invert on one side. Yeah. And then she was like, do it from the air. So I was in this thing called a figurehead where you like, then swing your butt up and that was hard. And then she had to spot me because I couldn't do it by myself.

My goodness. It was so hard. And I kept getting scared. Yeah. Because the higher up the pole, the more you can die. The chances of hurting yourself are higher. Yes. Yeah.

But that's really impressive. There was a point where you could not go upside down at all. Simply couldn't. And then doing multiple things in the air. I know. Sasheer, it's wild. And I'm hurt.

And you would hate it. Yeah. This morning when I was getting dressed, I was like, ah, Sasheer would hate this feeling. Yeah, I don't like being sore. Also, my shoulders are just like kind of always hurting. Oh, no. So I really can't be on pole.

Do you think it's the way you're sleeping of sorts? I'm not quite sure. like kind of always hurting. Oh no. So I really can't be on pole. Do you think it's the way you're sleeping of sorts? I'm not quite sure, I think, I don't know. Cause sometimes I sleep pretty well, but my shoulders still hurt. And I'm like, is it still residual soreness from sleeping on it poorly a few nights ago? I don't know.

What kind of sleeper are you? We've never talked about this. We have not. I don't think. I don't know. What kind of sleeper are you? We've never talked about this. We have not. I don't think. I don't think so. Wow. I'm a side sleeper. And since my right shoulder hurts more, I'm usually on my left side, but sometimes I'm on my right. And then sometimes I'm like this,

but then sometimes that hurts. And then I'm like this. Oh, I'm not describing it. This, I realize now. This, this, this. The listeners don't know what I'm saying. So the first this was my, let's see, elbow above my head and my head resting on my forearm.

And then like my, what is this? Side, your obliques? No. Armpit? on my forearm and then like my, what is this? Side? Your obliques? No. Armpit? I guess my armpit. Your side titty. My side titty, my armpit flat on the bed.

Oh, wow. That's cool. She's just, I'm just cool. That's like a real lounging position. I don't sleep in a way that looks attractive to anybody. Describe how you sleep. Well, I once shared a room with our friend Marcy and she said I balled my fist up,

put them under my chin and my face was in the pillow and my body was very, very tight and straight. Yeah. That's not sexy. I have seen one time that you put your fist in the pillow and my body was very, very tight and straight. Yeah. That's not sexy. I have seen one time that you put your fist just directly on your eyeballs. You're just trying to shut out the whole world.

Sleeping is humiliating. You have no control over what you're doing and you look like a fucking freak. And we all have to fucking do it. Yeah. It is terrifying. Very vulnerable. It is.

You just don't, you don't know what's happening around you. No, and I moan sometimes. I haven't listened in a while. Yeah, maybe best not to know. Cause it's just so embarrassing. Yeah. I once was dating somebody, and I have my snoring app, and I turned it on, and then we had sex.

And the sounds you make are really humiliating. I can't remember you saying this. Did you delete it immediately? I don't think I would have listened. Well, I was listening for the snoring. Right, right, right. And then got to the sex, and I was like, no. And I listened to the whole thing because I was like,

I simply can't, this isn't me. This isn't me. I don't know who that is. Who is she? So now I'm like hyper aware of it, and I'm like, don't sound bad. Yeah. Wait, did Cody look up something?

The best sleeping position. Oh, it depends on your personal preference. No, okay. Huh. I don't like this whole AI thing with Google. Give me a website with sightings. Sight your references. Yeah, I guess AI is supposed to aggregate different sources,

but I guess they don't necessarily tell you what sources. AI is ruining Googling for me. I do not like the AI answers. No. Okay, this is from a website. The Sleep Foundation? Yes, yes, Sleep Foundation. Let's see.

Is sleeping on your stomach feels good to you? Don't force, don't feel forced to change. This is funny. So the sleep center is like, whatever feels good for you dudes. Great. I think I remember hearing at some point in my life that sleeping on your back is good,

but I can't because my, Your butt. Because my butt sticks out and then I wake up in pain. Mm-hmm. I sometimes sleep on my back and I stack pillows. So I'm like elevated. Like on the upper part of your back? My head to my mid back.

That's really smart. Yeah. Cause it helps with the snoring. Oh, that's great. But the snoring has kind of gone away. That's also great. Yeah, because I think last time we slept together, which sounds nasty.

The last time we shared a room. Yeah, sounds nasty. I think you said I didn't snore. You did not, until you went outside to smoke a cigarette and then slept right directly after you smoked it. And you were like, I don't know why I was snoring. And I'm like, maybe because you inhaled a bunch of smoke and then went to sleep?

Because I constricted my airways and then decided to do something laborious. Sleeping, I think, is laborious. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I guess so. I think your body is like, well, your body is shutting down, but then, like, everything has to work to stay alive.

Yeah, because that's, like, your time to digest, and, like... You digest while sleeping? I think everyone does. Hmm. Yeah, that's why they're like, don't eat right before you go to bed, because it's harder for your body to process all the food while you're sleeping. Whoa! never knew.

I love eating and going right to sleep. You're like, I will eat, drink a ton of alcohol, smoke cigarettes right before bed. Yeah, that's the best way to go to sleep, baby. Actually, that's why you're sleeping is laborious. It shouldn't be, it should be restful. But you're making your body work at max capacity. Sometimes I wake up exhausted.

Of course. Oh. I ate a Whopper right before bed the other night. It was not good. Was it grumbly grumbly? It was grumbly grumbly and then pukey pukey No. When I woke up in the morning.

Because I also had chicken fries and they like, there was something funky in there. And I was like, I don't know, I'll power through that. And this is like the second time in two weeks that something has made me sick. So I didn't have power for three days. And I was like, almond milk is fine. It can be like unref- I've seen it on the shelf. Yes, but once you open the carton, it needs to be refrigerated after that forevermore. Yeah. Had a bowl of cereal with that milk that was cold then warm then cold then warm,

because it was three days. It made me violently ill. Yeah, and I'm so sorry about that. But here's the thing, I asked multiple people and they said, don't drink it. And I said, but I don't have nothing else at my house. Yeah, I saw, I did see the texts come in while you were updating the group. And I was like, I don't even know how to respond to this.

She knows exactly what she did. We warned you, we told you don updating the group. And I was like, I don't even know how to respond to this. She knows exactly what she did. We warned you, we told you don't do that. And then also like the box will say, keep refrigerator after opening. And then you just ate it anyway. I did. Yeah. It was bad.

Well, you know, maybe this time around I'll learn. I don't know. I'm impressed at what you consume. I know, I know. Well, maybe I won't learn. Right now I'm working my way through a bag of stale pretzels that have just been in my car. That I think at least won't make you sick.

Yeah, but it's not enjoyable. Right. And like, they're still, they've been in my car for like a week and I just like eat a couple at a time and I don't know why I'm doing it. You know, I appreciate your like, your resistance to food waste. That's honorable. Like some people just throw things away and it's not even bad yet.

And you're like, you know what? This is still usable. And it's not, but at least you're not just throwing things away. I certainly am not. I am keeping things for a long time. Past their prime. Yeah.

Boy, thank you for seeing the positive in that. Yeah. I've been trying to do that. Flip things around into the positive and not be like, you stupid bitch. Yeah, don't do that. It's really tough. I understand.

["Sweet Home Alone"] I can't believe you're in head-to-toe jeans. I'm like, my world is rocked. These are pretty comfy jeans. Actually, these are Brandy's jeans, I'm pretty sure, from the clothing swap that we did at your house. Yay! That was a nice, fun clothing swap. It was a very fun clothing swap.

And I got so many great things. And I felt so good giving things away to people I knew were going to love them. It feels nice. It is nice. Yeah. Our friend Sharako has a, she's part of a Facebook group called Buy Nothing, where she famously gave away

a half a carton of milk. She has said this to me no less than 20 times. And every time she says it, I'm like, ha ha ha. Because I do love how excited she is about it. But I had some stuff to give away. So I dropped off a bunch of shit at her house and she got rid of it in a day. Oh, that's great.

Blew me away. Yeah. A whole, like, a cabinet that I had painted, my old shoe cabinet. Yeah. Somebody came and picked that up. I had two bags of clothes that I was like, these are not in the best shape. But she was like, hey, redistribute.

People were like, sure. Yeah. Ah, I love it. It is really nice. My neighbor, the other day, he had an inversion table. It's a, actually my mom used to have one too. It was like you strap yourself into this thing and then it flips you upside down

because I'm sure at that time they were like, ups, we don't go upside down enough. Did you know that the prehistoric blah blah blah, like we used to go upside down all the time. We used to live upside down. Now we're in chairs and we're typing on our computers and we need to get back to our roots. So I think a bunch of people bought inversion tables

in like the nineties. So he had this old inversion table and was like, do you want this? And I was like, I certainly don't have a need for this. Thank you so much for offering, but we can figure out how to get rid of this. And then my partner put it on Facebook marketplace, gone that day.

Someone picked it up. It's wild. People want things. People want things. We don't need stores anymore. Just, yeah, I mean, you can get stuff from other people. Yes, we can barter. Yeah.

This is the society we need. Yeah, yeah. There's like, that's like a good thing of the internet. We're like helping us connect there's like, that's like a good thing of the internet where like, helping us connect and be like, hey, I don't need this thing anymore. I don't want to throw it away. And then someone's like, I can absolutely use that thing. And then you have to pay money.

You have to go to the store. No shipping. It's great. You just deal with some weird people sometimes. You might have to deal with a weird person. Yeah. The people who came to initially pick up my cabinet, I, like a creep, watch them on my cameras

because they're strangers to me. I don't know them. But I watched them lift it, set it down, yell at each other, and then leave. And then I was like, oh, your car wasn't big enough. And I think they were like, oh, this is heavier than we thought. And we can't do this. Yeah. And yeah, it was, I was like, no, please take it.

Please take it. We were so close. I bought a chiminea. Excuse me? A chiminea? Is that a fun way to say a portable chimney? A chimney. Yeah.

What is a portable chimney? A chimney auto? No! What is a chimney auto? It's like an outdoor... Oh, yeah, those things. Cody's on fire. Yeah, literally. Ha ha ha ha ha. Yeah, it's an outdoor... chimney.

That's like all encompassing in its own thing. It's like a fire pit, but manual? Yeah, definitely manual. You have to start the fire. And then, yeah, I guess you can cook things in there, but it's also just like for warmth, I guess. I don't know. I kind of went crazy with estate sales

when I first moved into my house and bought this thing thinking I would, I guess, use it outside. And that's not what I want. I want a fire pit. But I had it for a while and I was like, I'm never guess, use it outside. And that's not what I want. I want a fire pit. But I had it for a while and I was like, I'm never going to use this thing. And so I tried to get rid of it,

put it on Facebook Marketplace. Someone came by himself. He came by himself. And I guess I didn't say the weight of it online. I mean, I looked at, I saw what they look like and they seem heavy. If you see a picture, you're probably like,

it's a two person job. This, so this man came alone. And then I described like how to like get it out of my yard. But there's like steps and stuff. And then I was like, all right, here it is. And then he started like dismantling it and he kind of stared at it. And I was like, do you want me to help you take this down the steps? And he's like, yeah right, here it is. And then he started like dismantling it and he kind of stared at it. And I was like, do you want me to help you

take this down the steps? And he's like, yeah, that'd be great. And so we're both grunting and like getting dirty and it's heavy. And then we had to like take breaks. And I was like, I don't know. You should, I don't want to do this with you. It is funny to meet someone

and then immediately go through trauma. Yes. I was like, this feels like we're a couple. Like we're like, kind of frustrated with each other. And I'll go this way. Oh, your mother was right. And then we got to his car and then like, of course I had to wait for him to like move shit out of his trunk and like put a blanket down. And then he was like trying to put it in there by himself and like, I'm really good at like spatial awareness.

So I was like, actually it'd be better if you twist it this way. And so now I'm helping him load it into the car. But I was like, did you keep in touch? We're married now. God, that's so funny. Yeah. Truly wild.

Yeah, I would never go pick something up without somebody. I don't know why he thought he could. Yeah, I don't know. The confidence. I have, I use this man on TaskRabbit. He saved my phone as Snuffleophagus. It's not his name. I hope not.

It's something close though. Okay. And he is the strongest human being I have ever met. Whoa. He can move wardrobes by himself. Whoa. It's wild. and he is the strongest human being I have ever met. He can move wardrobes by himself. It's wild. Does he use like back straps or what not? I don't know.

You don't know. I've never watched him. Because I thought that would be too much to like just watch the strong man move things. I have seen some movers use like some sort of like over the shoulder, around the waist strap, and that helps them like, it's like math, math and science is happening.

Because it's like body weight times the weight of a thing, but adding straps takes away. Equals light trees. Precisely. You got it. Only sometimes do I wish I was smart. I learned yesterday that the air traffic control people are not giving directions to pilots.

I guess I never really thought about what they're doing. Are they just telling other planes, like, hey, don't come here yet. There's another plane landing? Yeah, they're telling them, I believe what I was told is that they're like, you're not cleared for landing, or you're cleared for takeoff. But then the computer mechanisms in the plane,

that routes you to how you're going places, not air traffic control. I mean, that would be a really busy job if they had to tell every single plane in the sky, turn left. That's what I thought was happening. Like, uh-oh, another one's coming, go down a little. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

That's really funny. Boy, I felt so dumb when I was told this. And then I was like, you know, you know that line in in the matrix Or he goes ignorance is bliss. I was like it really is Also wait, hold on you You're attributing that quote to the matrix

Ignorance is bliss. That's just a saying. That's what he says when he eats the steak, right? I don't know. He's like, ignorance. Who is this? Which character is this? Is that Leah Remini? It's the one who double crosses them and tells Mr. Anderson where they are. Yes!

Oh, wow, that was quick. Ha ha! Oh! Wow, that was quick! Eel, Mr. Green. And look at that steak. Oh yeah! You know, the ball guy. I know this steak doesn't exist. I know that when I put it in my mouth, the Matrix is telling my brain that it is juicy and delicious.

After nine years, you know what I realize? Ignorance is bliss. I'm so much happier believing the Looney Tunes shit I believe. And then somebody tells me real stuff and I'm like, the Matrix again. Oh wait, no, is my brain the Matrix? Wait, I'm fucking up my own analogy. I guess this... Wait, I'm the Matrix and I'm telling myself all these things. I'm making up things.

Oh, okay. And then everyone else is living in dirt and telling me the truth. And we're sad and wearing rags. The part I was just really astounded by, I said that I didn't believe that the phrase ignorance is bliss was in the Matrix. It's just that you decided to quote the Matrix

and as opposed to just saying, ignorance is bliss. You know, the phrase that we all know. But that YouTube clip was called ignorance is bliss. So I guess other people agree that that is a common phrase from the Matrix. It's a phrase by English poet Thomas Gray. Oh my God, it goes from back from- From 1742.

Ode on a distant prospect on Eaton College. Cool. Well, I first heard about it in 1998. During the Matrix, during that scene where he's eating that delicious looking steak. That is really funny that I... You're right, it is such an old quote. You know, from the Matrix.

Yeah. Oh, boy. And then, so, wait, what were you saying? I was so charred by that moment. I can't remember what you were trying to say. Oh, just, I learned that air traffic control is not as important as I thought it was. Got it, got it, got it.

Yeah. Well, it is very important. Oh, yeah, I guess so. Not giving directions. Not giving turn by turn. They're not Google.com or Google Maps. It's like Google.com doesn't give you directions either. Google Maps does.

You remember MapQuest? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Where you print them out and if you made a wrong turn, I don't know. Yeah, there's no adjusting. No. It does not reroute. No.

What would we do? I guess go back to that last street you were on, try to find that, and then go from there. Yeah. Whoa. Whoa. Wow, what a time. What a time.

We used to drive to Chicago every year as a family, as a treat. My dad was like, no planes. We're driving. And every year he as a treat. My dad was like, no planes, we're driving. And every year he had a map. And I want it, like, by the time I was 11, I was like, we've done this for 11 years and you should still don't know where you're going.

Oh no, but that's how I feel. I rely on my maps for everything. I mean, there's like, I know how to get from your house to my house. I would hope so. It's really a straight shot. Yeah, it's, I turn left, right, straight, veer right, veer right, left, veer right, right,

and I'm there. Mm-hmm. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I did get lost yesterday going 10 minutes away from my house because I refused to put directions out. Oh. Did you get very lost? Pretty lost. No. Pretty lost.

Did you go farther than the place? So I went the right way, and then when I got to the main street it was on, I made a right instead of a left. So then I had to do a, no, then I went around in some side streets, and then I said, oh, I made a right instead of a left. So then I had to do a, no, then I went around in some side streets and then I said, oh, I don't know where these side streets are.

I gotta get back to that main street. So then I got back to the main street, but then I was still too far away. So then I went too deep in the other direction and then I finally put on my maps. Because I was like, I'm just getting further from the truth. Right? Just give in. I truth. Just give in.

I just have to give in. Yeah. Damn. I know we're not a political podcast, but Donald Trump said he hated Taylor Swift, and I don't think I've laughed harder. Yeah. Yeah.

I think it's really funny. It feels very childish. Feels. It is. Yeah. I hate Taylor Swift. She's being mean to me. We have beef now. She's no longer my friend.

What? She's fine. It's just funny, because I'm like, what's the next step? Is he going to put out a diss track or an album? I just, like, he's so funny. And like, does wild things that I'm like, is that the next step?

Like, are they gonna have a beef? Like, she had a beef with Kanye? Is Melania gonna leak a phone call? Like, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Honestly, yeah, if, cause like, I think, I also feel like if you had asked me 15 years ago, would Taylor Smith have beef with Kanye West? I'd be like, that doesn't make sense.

No. But now anything's possible. Because even the fact that Kanye West was buds with Donald Trump, also something I would have never predicted. Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Yeah, so I'm like, anything can happen. They're also kind of all in the same zeitgeist. They all have called each other out, talked to each other, hung out,

written songs about each other, tweeted about each other. Maybe Donald Trump could make a diss track. I hope so, and I hope someone reaches out to him. I'd like to hear it. Honestly, Kanye could. Oh my God. Kanye would probably, you know what? We both have beef.

That same girl. I would love it, but he's trapezing around Europe with his naked wife. Oh. She never gets to wear clothes. Have you seen those pictures? It does seem like, you know, that is what he likes. Yeah, a naked lady.

Yeah, when he has a new person, they first debuted naked. And then maybe after a while they're like, hey, I don't like being so naked all the time. And he's like, okay. And then, you know, maybe they leave and they get close. I think I'd be complimented if a man was like, hey, can you like wear nothing?

Yeah. I want everyone to see you. I'm sure that's why they love, they're like, oh my God, yeah, you think my body's that hot? Oh my God, what a treat. The pillow's funny. She's wearing a pillow. And by wearing, I mean just holding a pillow

in front of her. I mean, what a pillow. And by wearing, I mean just holding a pillow in front of her. I mean, what a life. Mm-hmm. Like, imagine your friend's calling you, being like, saw what you were wearing the other day. Just a pillow, friend? Girl, you OK? And probably not.

But also, probably, Kanye West does a lot of money. Yeah, that's true. And you can nap anywhere. You might be a little cold on the body, but your head will be propped. You have a place to rest that head. Yeah. There's probably money in that pillow.

What? It's probably just cash inside the pillow. You think? She don't have a wallet on her. That's funny, Sashir. Her paying for things, opening her pillow. Just one sec. Here you go.

One, two, three. Are you the Tootsie Roll Owl? A one, a two, a three. Those are effective commercials. They really were. Yeah. MUSIC MUSIC I know we've talked about the Hess truck.

Mm-hmm. But did you grow up hearing the Hess truck jingle? We can't do this. We have had a whole episode based on this. Well, I met somebody who didn't know about. We have had a whole episode based on this. Well, I met somebody who didn't know about it, and I thought it was a national thing. I think it is national.

So it's them who's dumb. Well, I also never heard it until you mentioned it. Huh. OK, we won't get into it. I mean, I would. We have truly dedicated multiple episodes to this. It's OK. We don't have to get into it, because we have, we've talked about it so much that Sashir bought me

a Hess truck that I smile at daily. Mm-hmm. Because it's got little motorcycles in the back. I saved the box. I don't know why. Yeah, I have seen the box in a separate location than where the actual Hess truck is displayed. And I like it.

Thanks. I'm just getting dumber shit from my house. I have a Minions pirate now. Is there a Minions pirate now? The actual truck is displayed. And I like it. Thanks. I'm just getting dumber shit from my house. I have a Minions pirate now. Is there a Minions pirate in the movies? I don't know. I don't know. But I won it at a fair.

Nice. I went to a fair and you had to throw a ball into a basket and it looked easy and you get three balls. They let me throw it like 30 times I did so poorly and they're like you get a prize I was like I get a prize when I got back to the table everyone was like yeah everyone gets a prize oh no that's really funny but that's nice though it was, but I was like, well then why did I have to try? Yeah, why did they just give it to you?

Why did you make me humiliate myself throwing these balls in this basket poorly? Damn. And they were like, bounce the ball. And I was like, okay. And they're like, go for the lower basket. So was it hard if everyone got a prize? I don't think so.

But I felt like I was the only one at the table where it took, like, 30 tries for me to get the ball in the basket. Mm-hmm. Lord. Lord. It was tough. It's OK.

Wait, should we help people now? Is that time for that? I think so. Hi, Nicole. And this year, happy 9-11. I was just listening to the new episode, and I happened to study a lot about terrorism and how it impacted America.

And actually before 2001, there were so many hijackings because they weren't weaponized. They were just people making demands and then landing in like a neutral country like Cuba. And then, you know, you would do a prisoner exchange. So 2001 really shook things up, so to speak, because it was the first time that people used planes as a weapon.

So yeah, that's my fun fact for today's hashtag remembrance. Never forget, bye. Oh, my name's Jack, I love y'all. Honestly, I didn't know that. I didn't know that you would land in a neutral territory. And then, but like, what prisoners? Like, are my friends prisoners? Your friends?

So if I'm hijacking a plane, and I'm landing in Cuba, so am I like, let my girls out from Jersey, the Jersey State prison? Like, what? I guess I don't really understand what the exchange is. I don't either. That's really funny. Let my girls out.

No. Yeah, I really don't understand that. I guess you just have leverage because you have hostages. Okay. Oh, so let my girls out from the Jersey State prison and I'll let these passengers go. Yeah? Hmm.

I guess. Is that what they were saying? I guess so. They said for a prisoner exchange. Yeah, so maybe that's it. Interesting. Oh, I know we were getting into questions and stuff, but did you see Mariah Carey climb

the Great Wall of China in heels? No. It was really nice to watch. What do you mean climbed? questions and stuff, but did you see Mariah Carey climb the Great Wall of China in heels? No. It was really nice to watch. What do you mean climbed? Oh, there's steps, I believe. OK, but she's not climbing the side of the wall. No.

Yeah, she's like, she's spider-manning up there? Yeah, she's taking over for Tom Holland. Oh, OK. Yeah, yeah, you're right. Yes. So she just walked on the Great Wall of China. Yes, and these incredible mules. Well, she stays in heels.

I don't know if she's ever not been in heels. And I love it. Mm-hmm. So then after I saw that, I watched a video of what Russians think of us. And all of them were like, I can't even do that. I shouldn't do that accent. I'm gonna do it though. They're like, oh, American women don't take care of themselves.

And they let themselves go and they don't dress well in public. And then I was like, maybe we do. Maybe we could all learn a little bit from Mariah Carey walking the Great Wall of China in mules. Man, we took so many journeys and pathways. So, so you're saying, so because of Russia, American women dress poorly,

we should all aspire to be Mariah Carey in heels on the Great Wall of China. Yeah, I've never said anything that made more sense. Yes. I see. And before we get into, I don't know if I took my medicine today. Before we get into another question, I watched a video. So, okay, are you Oprah or are you Gail?

Maybe Gail? No, I'm Gail, you're Oprah. I watched a video where Gail was delivered a piece of pie that clearly had been eaten. And she showed the piece of pie and she was like, I called the company to be like, my pie was jostled. And it seems that it like got smushed up to only half a piece of pie. And everyone's like, Gail, that pie was eaten by either the

delivery driver or your doorman. And she was like, no, it was jostled. And everyone was like, no, Gail, this pie was eaten. And she was like, huh, okay. And they're like, Gail, did you eat the rest of that pie? And she was like, yes. And it's very clear that they showed a picture. It was very clearly eaten.

And then she just finished the pie cause she wanted the pie. And I was like, I'm Gail. I was like, well, I have no questions ever again. I am Gail in Sashir's Oprah. All right. I can see that. Yeah.

You have to see the video. It's wild. It's literal. It's more than half eaten. Also, why was any of this filmed? I think it was on the Today Show and she was like complaining. I think she was just like, I can't believe this was delivered to me.

She kept saying jostled, jostled like this. Yesterday we shared this photo of a piece of pie I ordered. Now when it arrived, I thought maybe it had been jostled or in the delivery. Because look at there's some stuff up top. I thought, well, maybe it jostled. Pretty much everyone says, no, Gail, the pie was clearly eaten. So I took, I sent the picture to the company that I ordered from. They apologized.

Listen, I ordered from them yesterday. I'm not going to name them because I really like them. I don't know what the hell happened here. But they said it could have been eaten by one of my doorman. And I said, nope, no way. I'm very tight with my doorman. I just don't think anybody would do that. So when I sent the picture to the front desk,

the doorman were outraged. The plot thickens and then they sent me security video from the building that shows they are innocent. I didn't ask for video, so here's a delivery driver driving with my coconut pie. They bring it in, we see him walking into the lobby and he hands the bag off to the doorman. Then you see the doorman immediately going to the elevator.

Yep, I don't see any jostling. You put it on the elevator. I love the roasting her. And then the elevator comes up. You see me, thank goodness I was dressed, because sometimes I come through the tower, because nobody's up there but me. But see, Nate, you asked me yesterday, did you eat the pie?

And I said, yes, I did. I've been craving sweets for three days. So I was all set. So I sent this to Oprah to say, do you think this pie was eaten or do you think it was jostled? I said, yes, it was jostled into someone's stomach. That's what happened. Half the pie is gone.

And I said, and where's the crust? For goodness sake. And she said, and you ate it? So everybody, I said, yes, I ate it because I honestly didn't think that somebody would have eaten the pie. Now the doorman clearly have been cleared at my building. No doubt.

But now I want to know who did that. Oh my god. I'm Gail. Yeah. Yeah. Like, clearly, yes, it looked like half of it was gone. If it was Jossel, it would be smushed, and the same amount of pie would have been in there.

It was like, half the pie is gone, and she ate it. She ate it. I'm like, scared for her. That's disgusting. I'm Gail. Also, the way Oprah was just like, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. I was like, that's sheer. I mean, yes, this is us truly 40 minutes ago

talking about you drinking almond milk that went bad in your fridge that lost power days ago. I just love how she kept saying jostled. I don't see any jostling. I love that there was an investigation. They looked at her cameras. There was a camera of her taking the delivery, snatching it from the elevator. She went fast, too.

She did. She was hungry. She almost grabbed it as fast as that guy. Ha ha ha! That's Josh Harden from Trap. Ha ha ha! This year, I've seen it for a second time in theaters. I was like, I need to see it another time.

I saw it at 2.30 PM in Burbank with Mono. Nothing made more sense, and it was just as good. It's just so funny. It's a great movie. Yeah. Oh, okay, we should answer. Another question. Yeah.

Hi, Sachir, Nicole and lovely crew. I have a dilemma. I recently became part of a group of friends consisting of some of my coworkers. I was excited to make young adult friends, especially that I can see at work every day. We've all hung out once so far and had a great time, but shortly after I found out one of them cheated on their girlfriend, not part of the group, with another person at work! I know it's technically not my business, but I just feel icky laughing and investing time with someone who actively decided to deceive others.

All of that said, a few other work friends know about this and don't seem affected by it. Am I overreacting? I don't wanna cause dysfunction in this group, but I also don't wanna compromise my morals. What should I do? So another, so I found out one of them, one of the people in the friend group

cheated on their girlfriend with another person at work. Another, so, I found out one of them, one of the people in the friend group cheated on their girlfriend with another person at work. So these are people, both people work there? Yeah, so there are, she or this person just became friends with like six people at work. Two people in that six friend group fucked each other. But the one who did the fucking has a girlfriend. So like all of them are hanging out,

joking, teehee, ha ha ha. But this girlfriend who's not part of the group and doesn't hang out with them at work every day is like not part of it, doesn't know. So for me, I think that's a little tricky because it's like work is involved and like you don't wanna fuck up your bag. You don't wanna fuck up your money.

I just like would hold that person at arm's distance, like just be cordial, you don't have to chum it up. Yeah, I kind of feel like this whole group is sus. Like if there's two people in there that are, they are actively cheating, they are actively cheating. They're actively doing bad. And the rest of the group knows, and they're just like, cool about it?

Yeah, yeah, this person says a few friends know about this and don't seem affected by it. Yeah, I mean, I would do, I would get different friends. They don't, yeah. And I know making adult friends is hard. But work is work, you're not there, the only common goal is getting money to pay your bills. So it's like, I would branch out and try to, you know,

get by another person. Do a hobby or something. Yeah, or is there one friend in the group that seems on the outskirts that maybe doesn't know? Yeah, who doesn't know? And you'd be like, what are your moral, what's your moral compass? Yeah.

That's tough. Cause I just, I don't want this friend, this person to fuck up work based on morals. Morals that have nothing to do with the job. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, they don't have to like, it's not their business. I doubt they're gonna like confront anybody

or like tell the girlfriend or anything like that. But I guess it's like, do they still want to hang out with these people knowing the information that they know? Me, arms distance, if I'm like, if I'm yearning for friendship and I don't want to be alone, arms distance, I don't trust you,

we don't really fuck. But yeah, I'm not gonna get close to that person because that person's gonna fuck you over. I think cheating, cheating is bad. Yeah, and it's like indicative of like how little they respect other people. So yeah, I wouldn't want that person to be close. No.

Surface, like interactions is fine, but yeah, I think't want that person to be close. No. Surface, like interactions is fine. Yeah. But yeah, I think maybe don't invest more time into these friendships. I agree. Yeah. Solved. We have a caller named,

oh, I don't know if their name is out there, but it's a conflict resolutionist followup. Oh. I'm excited to hear about this. Yeah. I'm excited to hear about this. Yeah, I'm excited to hear about this. Hi, this is Kayla. I don't actually have a quandary or query, but I just really wanted to chime in about Sasheer being a conflict manager at her school. I laughed so hard when I heard this and I'm a bit behind. I'm catching up on some episodes, but I actually had a very

similar title when I was in elementary school, I think it was fifth grade. I was a peer mediator, so it was a very similar program. They give you scripts and then you kind of patrol recess and lunch and you take turns, you know, different people on different schedules. And unlike Sashir, I had a sash instead of an apron. So you would just imagine how cool I love. And one time I had to pure mediate my sister and my cousin, they were a couple grades behind me, because they were fighting over a boy. I don't think I really helped them. But I tried anyway. So yeah, this is definitely not a thing just in Sashir school, I'm in Canada, so we had it here too,

and I was a peer mediator with the sash. Bye. In St. The Hill of Aladin. Truly wild. Y'all grew up in places where maybe the schools weren't funded and they had to put y'all to work or something.

Or maybe it was happening at your school and you didn't notice. There was so much happening at your school and you didn't notice. There was so much happening at your school and you had no idea. Clubs are happening, groups, activities. It really does blow me away that everybody needed to stay at school longer. I needed to go home and make mashed potatoes.

Yeah, no, I liked school. And I liked helping people. Honestly though, I do think, okay, I saw a post the other day that they are taking analog clocks. Is that where it just says the time? I think it's where, with the hands. Oh, well-

That's a digital clock, where that's just like the numbers. Well, they're removing analog clocks from classrooms because kids can't tell the time. And then the post was like, you have to teach kids so they know things. And I think if I had like conflict management, I would be better at conflict managing as an adult

because you're pretty decent at, pretty decent. That sounded really condescending and rude. I think you're very good at resolving conflicts. And when things are on your mind, you're like, this is my thought process or whatever. But like, I'm not good at that because I never had to do that. I would not say that you're not good at that. I think you had to develop that skill.

But I guess, yeah, maybe if you started younger, it would be you would have developed it earlier. But I wouldn't say you're bad at it. Oh, OK, thank you. I do appreciate that. But yeah, the younger you learn something, the longer it's with you. Hmm. Yeah.

Like if I learned how to pole dance when I was a child, I would be so good. I would've done, I guess so, yes. Russian kids pole dance? That is true, you're right. What am I, obsessed with Russians? Yeah, what's going on? Call me Elvira. I don't know. I don't know any Russian names.

I couldn't think of a single one. Hmm. Marcy. Nope. Jackie. Nope. What's a Russian name? Rusponsa. I have no idea. Well, we got a rabbit. Rusponsa. Well, if you have a question quandary query, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHH AHHHH A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A transcripts for our new episodes. Check them out on our show page at earwolf.com. Lastly, don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe. That is the easiest way to support this show. Yaaaaaay! Goodbye!

Yaaaaaay!