Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Nicole Thought Sasheer Was Breaking Up With Her

Episode Date: February 15, 2023

Who needs Valentine’s or Galentine’s when you can celebrate the people you love every day? Come to think of it, why aren’t we making a bigger deal about Friendship Day? Kimmie On The Keys gives Nicole an update on where she can finally get some Ground Beef Nachos. Sasheer reminds Nicole that she is still a priority in her life. Nicole’s 32 paintings arrived, and now how will her small Sonic rug compete? The gals take the quiz, I Know Which Phenomenal Movie Wedding Dress You Should Wear Based On The Fantasy Love Life You Craft and lastly answer listeners' queries. Here is the quiz we took - I Know Which Phenomenal Movie Wedding Dress You Should Wear Based On The Fantasy Love Life You Craft:https://www.buzzfeed.com/maya_12_24/your-fantasy-love-life-reveals-movie-wedding-dress-youll Email or call Nicole & Sasheer with your friendship questions at:[e-mail] Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link https://siriusxm.com/friends and code FRIENDS.

excuse me so she are oh oh hi i didn't didn't didn't see that oh i've been here for a minute hello oh my goodness that caught me off guard hi oh my god oh my god not paying attention to me it's okay happy valentine's day happy valentine's valentine's yeah i like saying it like that it's fun happy valentine's we've never celebrated galentine's together. I don't know. We sure haven't. Because it's a sad holiday that single ladies made up to be like, we're OK to guess what? We're not. That's not for us. We just have to abstain.

Stay inside and be sad. Close your blinds. Get in bed. Turn off the lights. Don't look outside. The people are kissing. But I guess I've never thought to, like, celebrate Galentine's with you. Because I feel like we just celebrate each other whatever

right yeah you sent me flowers the other day it was so sweet i did because it was your i i mean i'm gonna bring this up i'm embarrassed about it because it said happy second day of work and it came on a day that you weren't working because your first day happened and then you had two days off and your second day wasn't until it's not even it's not it wasn't it's okay it's okay because i sent them and it said happy second it's better that it happened what while i was home because no one would have been able to receive them you would they would have been sent to an empty house. And then maybe they would have gotten taken or rained on.

So it's a good thing that it wasn't actually my second day at work because I would have been at work. Okay. I guess you're right. Yeah. But I'm still deeply embarrassed about it. Don't be embarrassed. I should have had it sent to your job. Put in your trailer.

That's what I should have done. I love that it's at my house. Because then, if it's at my trailer, then I have to lug flowers home with all my stuff. I think it happened perfectly. Okay, good. Yeah, we celebrate each other all the time. And then we go on trips together. That are very romantic.

You know? Sometimes we're in honeymoon suites or we have like a jacuzzi tub all to ourselves that was like in costa rica that was like a pretty romantic room yes um and no but everyone was like sisters everywhere we go people are always like sisters and then when we went to hawaii i was like no, no, that was Miami where I was like, I proposed to her and nobody cared. But I think the problem with that is that you gave too many details that made it unrealistic. You were like, I proposed to her. We were on jet skis and I dropped the ring, but she said yes anyway.

And I was like, they're not going to believe that. You're right. You're right. I got to keep it simple. Be like, this is the love of my life i proposed one day and we'll go okay you said a lot about it but yeah i don't know i just honestly valentine's day i don't want to hang out with my girlfriends i don't hang out with other friends i I don't. It's not for me.

We should have a different day called Friendship Day. And it should happen in April. It's not even related to Valentine's Day. Yeah. Yeah. I like that. Right? Where you just like hang out with your friends and you go, friendship, friendship, everybody,

everywhere, friendship, friendship, friendship. Everybody do your share friendship friendship you know yeah i actually i recommitted my love to you recently because i you did i read this book thought you were breaking up with me i read a book called stepping off the relationship escalator it's about like unconventional relationships that can be romantic or not or whatever and just that it doesn't have to be like step by step you date you get married you have kids if you don't want that there's other options and there's some parts in there about friendship about how uh sometimes we take the friendships that we have for granted or like sidestep them because

we think they're not as important as the romantic relationships in our life. And that's an escalator thought process. And we don't have to, it doesn't have to be that way if you don't want it to be that way. For some partnerships, sometimes the friendship is more important than your romantic relationship or whatever you can choose whatever you want um and so i read that and it made me think of you because when we met 1700 years ago back in the stone ages back in the stone dinosaurs were roaming the the connection we had was like the deepest love i had experienced at that point and i feel like over time we've like gone in and out of that because of the romantic

relationships that have been in our lives but i feel i was like you know I like the idea of not thinking about that and just like being like she's a priority because you are a priority in my life and you know if romance is in there that's great too but it doesn't have to be like move aside Nicole this is my you know this new

person is my top priority or whatever because you were here the whole damn time yeah i'm not fucking going anywhere and then yeah i started saying that i was like i read this book it was like my friendship and you were like are you picking up on me and i was like no let me finish my sentence i got so scared that you were breaking up with me and i was like i can't believe she would do this over the phone i can't believe she's in a different state breaking up with me i was really distraught for a solid like 30 seconds 20 i get distraught and like really

emotional in spurts or like 10 seconds where i'm like oh no my world but then um it was funny you said that and i was like that's how i feel like people will come in and out of my life but like so she's a constant and that's my person um and i said this to my therapist where i'm like i love her so much i don't want to like fuck her nothing like that but like i just love her and i want to be near her at all times and my therapist because there was um uh i was trying to give you and your man some space once and i was like truly made up something in my head where i was like so she needs space with her man you know um i I'm going to just do that. That's like me being kind. And I said that to my therapist and she was like, well, does she ask for that? And I was like, no. And she was like, then why are you doing it? And I was like, I love her so much. I don't know. I just want her to be happy at all times.

Sometimes I think my therapist thinks I'm crazy, but she also, no, she'll just be like, let's hold space for that. And every time she says, let's hold space for that and every time she says let's hold space for that i'm like did i overwhelm her is that too much why are we holding space why are we holding so much space all the time so much space all the time let's hold space and give me time to think about how to respond to this how to respond to this woman being obsessed with her friend um but yeah you're the most important relationship i've ever had in my whole life yeah and it's nice because like it's nice i don't gotta do nothing i just gotta show up that's it you don't gotta do nothing you don't expect anything

from me it's not like we hang out and then i feel like, oh, I wasn't funny enough or I wasn't entertaining enough. Like we can just sit and send each other memes. Yeah. And giggle and have a nice time. And I like that. Boy, oh boy, do I like that. I like that too. I'm glad you didn't break up with me.

I'm not sure what I would have done if you had. I can't imagine that. I just got so sad. Don't think about it. Don't think about it. It's not going to happen. I just got so sad. I was like, do I get on a plane? And I was like, that's crazy. You can't do that. To do what? To come to me? I don't know. If you broke up with me, I'd be like, are you sure? I don't know. You just show up at my doorstep like, give me another chance. Please be my friend.

No. I don't know. That sounds insane. What would you do if I broke up with you? Oh, God. What would I do? I would be, maybe I'd be like, I would want some clarity. So I would I'd be like, can you please explain what the heck's happening? That's smarter than getting on a plane.

to chill or like process what's happening and then if you were like after a while you're like no i'm absolutely certain that you're not my friend anymore then maybe maybe i would get on a plane i hate this conversation you said something that i hypothetically would say and i gasped at that. I hate this. This is bad. Okay, I don't wanna talk about it anymore. You're my friend forever. In fact, the other day I said, can we die together? And you said, are you trying to commit suicide with me? I said, no, in our old age,

can we just get on a lot of boats? So like we'll be together if a boating accident happens. Yeah, because you were like, if one of us dies for the other, it'll be really hard for the other person, so we have to figure out a way to die together.

I mean, I guess if we both die in a boating accident, it'll at least be fun on the way out. Yeah, we'd have a great time. Probably, like, there was food there. We love that. We love food on a boat. Okay, here's what I need from our next vacation.

Something in between the speedboat we were on in Bahamas and then the dolphin watching snorkeling boat we were on in Hawaii. And I think the in-between is we have to rent a yacht. Just like fully rent a yacht and be like, here are the things we'd like to do on this yacht. Because I felt like we were rushed on all of them. Yeah. We need our own yacht and captain so that we can just chill and take our time. Yes. But then I was like, should we invite more people? But that didn't go well last time.

It is hard because we haven't, we keep trying to audition people to be good travel buddies with us. And we have yet to find anyone who's met the magical combination we really haven't that's really except for tess tess tess is in tessie's good at traveling she's a very good time maybe we'll get on the yacht with tess yeah no more just the three i don't know i couldn't think of anybody else i was like um okay i can't think of anybody else. I was like, um, okay. I can't think of anyone else. But maybe, like, maybe Mateo.

But wait, you just told me Mateo can't swim. Yeah, that's what he told us. He can't swim. I mean, I'm sure he would still enjoy a yacht, but he won't swim. No. Wild. You know who I keep thinking about from our trip? That little boy Hudson.

I'd like to know where Hudson is right now. And I mean, I doubt his parents listen to the podcast. If anyone knows of a little boy named Hudson who went to Bahamas over New Year's with his family, please let me know if he's okay. I just can't stop thinking

about him and how everyone kept yelling at him. Do we really need someone to call the podcast to give us a check-in on a child? I don't know how I feel about that. I hate when you say things like that because that sounds really creepy. That's what I'm saying. I'm like, is anything

actually illegal or wrong about it? It's just like, do we really want someone to call in and be like, yeah, I do know that kid and here's an update on his life okay all right listen sometimes things got to be said out loud for you to go that's not it and you're right that's not it that's in my brain it was just an innocent little i know hudson's family they're nice people he He's thriving! Worst case scenario, they're like, yeah, I know that family. They're constantly yelling at Hudson, making him do things he

doesn't want to do, and he's always complaining and asking for help. And we're just trying to emancipate Hudson. Thank you for bringing attention to Hudson. Yeah, this court case is taking a really long time. Maybe with the publicity of this podcast, we can really help Hudson get a new family. All right, you're right.

Don't ask around about Hudson. Leave him alone. Oh, my God. I'm tired of the coldness. Can I just say that? Yeah. I would like the warmth to come back. Yeah.

Same. But I know as soon as it gets super warm, I'm going to be like, I wish it was cold again. I'm just sick of it. Sick of it. Just sick of it. Sick of it. Yeah. Oh, all my paintings are here oh all 500 paintings that you got i bought 32 paintings for my home which is too much they're all in the in my living

room and i was like i think i think i did too much. Like, I can't even visualize you having that much wall space. Because you already have stuff on some of your walls. Yeah. I don't know what I was. I wasn't thinking when I did it. I was just like, I'll get this and this. And it was on Cherish. And they were only $200.

Some were $300. I think I only bought two things more expensive than my pig painting. Truly, my pig painting is one of the most expensive things in this house. That's really funny. And I won't show it to anyone because it's mine. Mine alone. Do you have paintings in your house? Not up.

I have some paintings that I've, like, acquired over years. But I feel like I keep looking at them and I'm like, do I just need to reframe these? Or do I not connect with them anymore? I can't tell if I, like, outgrown or, like, just, like, don't relate to these paintings anymore. And then anytime I do see art that I really like and connect with, I ask how much it is, and I'm like, I'm not paying that.

So, yes. I don't know. Some of it was like $8,000 for one painting. And I get it. I would like to be paid for my talents as well. But boy, oh boy, is that expensive. And then I found out that some of it is like prints. And they're not even like original pieces that are $8,000.

I was like, wait, I'm getting a replica? And it's that much money? Y'all have lost your minds. That's wild. Y'all have lost your minds. But i got a lot of vintage stuff like a lot of uh stuff from like the 80s and stuff and then i found a lady who paints and i had i commissioned something from her that's a little bit more expensive and then a bunch of like old stuff that was original to uh i don't know, I guess people found from Cherish and stuff.

I don't know. We'll see what it looks like when I put them all up. All 32 of them. I can't wait. Did you figure out what to do with that Sonic rug? No. It's just, it's just here. Is it on the floor at least?

It is on the floor. I love it when you pick it up it's so small it's really cool but it's just like it's not functional no and it's just like in my office and i just like look at him and i'm like why are you so small but then i was like what was i thinking where was i gonna put a sonic rug like i have a pretty strong aesthetic and it's not sonic rugs it is pretty out of place your whole house yeah it's absolutely insane that i was like you know what i gotta do buy a sonic rug and it was expensive so i thought it was gonna be like an area rug i thought it'd be so much bigger well i got that little sonic rug that's i don't know it's like a foot tall it's so small it's

very funny and here's another thing who reads measurements when you're ordering things i ordered a painting it was 85 i said what a deal i opened it it was like five by five and i was like what is this a painting for ants this is so small who why it's so small five inches by five inches yes actually maybe it's like three by five it's so it's like, five inches by five inches? Yes! Actually, maybe it's like three by five. It's so... It's like a Post-it. I feel like it should have been like, warning, warning.

Look at the dimensions. Red alert. Oh, well. There's like... Occasionally, I'll see a picture of someone buying something on amazon and it's and they get like a really tiny replica of the thing or like or just a picture of the thing and i'm like how how are they able to get away with that i don't know a friend of mine um you know him but he bought a thing of creatine and the picture on amazon was a big thing like a big canister and when it came it was like a

doll-sized canister it was so small and it made me laugh so hard have you ever seen emily heller's tweet about the the mat she bought on Amazon? Oh, yes. That was a piece of paper, right? It was like a foam thing where they printed a picture of the mat on the foam thing. Insane. God, it made me laugh so hard. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. What other stuff are you going to buy for your house? Or are you done decorating for now? I think I'll just wait till I get back home. Fair. But I do need things on the wall.

Is that it? I don't think I really have other needs, really. As far as, like, decor. Well, you did a good job of, like, decorating it as soon as you moved in. Thank you so much. You're welcome. I was worried that I was never gonna ever make money again so i didn't decorate for a very long time well i like went to estate sales like it was my job

and go every weekend and get stuff and then i was like pretty quickly full yeah and you did such a good job john millhiser my old roommate johniser, he, every time there's an earthquake, posts this video that he made where he walks into the living room and it's a tray of cups and he goes, who wants cups? And then he's like, whoa! And then the cups go flying. It's no wallpaper. There's like a weird bookcase that's now in my office. The color is this awful, awful like beige-y color because I didn't change anything for such a long time. I can't believe I lived in it looking like that. Ew, yuck.

Ew. Nasty. Yeah, maybe one, too. Ew. Nasty. Yeah, maybe one day I'll paint. Most of the walls are white. And there's like a couple accent walls. And then the dining room is still like a mint green like it was when I moved in. I would change the color of the fun room, is my tv room yes like a pink salmon the curtains are pink oh but the walls are green oh the walls are green and there's like wallpaper

and it's like good for now but oh yeah yeah eventually i would want to change that to whatever i want because it's just what the previous owner had. It is. Okay. So I've been sucked into a realm of Instagram where I watch people take old cabinets and nightstands and dressers and they like sand them, take the veneer off and then paint them and there's so many that i was like why not restore and put a stain on it what is so pretty sometimes yeah and i say this as a woman who i do have a like a painted look lacquer uh cabinet in my house but some things i'm like i don't know not everything should be painted yeah you sent me one where it had like maybe like a fan design on it or something. And someone filled it in, just like made it like smooth, like flush. And I was like, why are you taking away the character of this thing?

That sucks. I feel like that's everything now. Like architecture. It's all these little boxes that look alike. Yeah. everything now like architecture it's all these little boxes that look alike yeah uh furniture's all like very like minimalistic and all looks the same i watched this lady she was like they told me not to but i did it she painted her whole staircase white and it was this beautiful wood it was beautiful and it was like a craftsman so it was like a ton of wood around it as well. So she painted the windowsills white.

Everything was painted white. And I was like, then why did you buy a craftsman with so much wood in it? If you just wanted a white house, don't buy a craftsman. Leave that for somebody who wants a craftsman. I was so mad about this craftsman. So mad. I just don't get it. I don't like a lot of renovations i think they're really really bad yeah it'd be nice if it yeah they can retain some some of the original

feel character character would just stay yeah i would like to pitch to hgtv obviously i can't do it i don't know how to do it but i would like a show where they take away all the weird shit that people do to houses and then like find the tile in the bathroom that was original and like shine it up and shit because that's another thing i've uncovered on instagram where people just lay tile on tile so if you go deep enough sometimes you'll find the original tile oh interesting yeah i watched one video where there was three layers of tile over this beautiful 1920s art deco tile whoa instagram be serving it to me but I guess like

you know there's different trends and people are probably like this Art Deco is so out of style even though today we're like are you kidding me please use it but I'm like there's lots of timeless things

you know you know you know lots of timeless things. Mm-hmm. You know? You know? You know? Real quick, Nicole, would you like a nacho update? Yes! Nacho!

Nacho! Kimmy's Nacho Corner. Oh, this would be a cute segment um so i scoured for specifically ground beef like taco meat nachos and you're right better to find than you think but i actually found two places in los angeles okay there are probably way more it's just like tricky to tell with websites i'll send you both of these but the two places i want to shout them out sky's gourmet tacos which is kind of okay um and they do a really nice classic ground beef nacho i called them to confirm and they confirmed over the phone wow i just i wanted to know and then the second one they have one in like Venice Beach and then another one in mid-city is called plancha tacos and they do a ground beef they were listed on eater

a ground beef nacho so I'm gonna send you thank you I can't believe I have to go to the west side for this I know but it is within an hour so I did try to keep it is it is thank you ones were in really far south and i was like shoot so um i hope you have a nice valentine's day eating nachos or how we did by the time this comes out but when this comes out i will have worn my red dress and eaten my nachos and shunned people on dates and and and hit them and spat at them oh my god you. You're a menace. Push them down. Oh no. And said, how does your love feel now? Just kidding.

People deserve love if you're in love. Like, whatever. It's nice for you. Do that sound nice and sincere? No. Okay, I'll try again. Isn't it nice that you found love and stuff and you're showing it off?

Does that sound nicer? Sure. Thank you. I'm afraid to make you do it again. Okay. Do you want to pick this one? Okay. I know what phenomenal movie wedding dress you should wear based off the

fantasy love life you craft. Honestly, that's the one I was looking at too. Nice. Yeah. Okay. What would be your partner's career? A college professor. Professor? A college professor. A DJ. A fashion designer. Nurse. These are wild professions. He can't be a college professor because I don't want them fucking students. DJ, you're out too late at night.

Nurse, you might bring home the sick fashion designer you can make shit for me fashion designer final answer um i think i would say college professor for some reason there's something very romantic about that i feel like there's a lot of male love interest in romantic comedies who were college professional professors and i think you're right yeah Yeah, I wasn't one smart. And I would just hope that they would not fuck their students. I mean, one can only wish and hope. Where would your wedding take place?

Historic manor house. A zoo? Favorite restaurant and bar? Yeah, I want to get married right next to this elephant taking a huge dump. A city loft. Okay. Can't have it at a historic manor house because I watched this movie called The Invitation where this girl goes to this historic manor house and it turns out that it was not what she thought it was going to be.

I didn't want to ruin it in case you go see it. Okay. The zoo, I don't want animals jumping on my dress. I'm not getting married in a bar or a restaurant. I will get married in a city loft. Final answer. These are like not... So sure,

you don't want to get buried next to a giraffe. I may not know, but I... It would be an interesting choice. Maybe I'd say favorite bar or restaurant. Okay.

Because then you could like have a fun little reception after too okay fair dream honeymoon destination glass pyramid and dog sled and lapland okay what are all those words together okay That's a glass pyramid. I don't know what a glass pyramid is either. I guess it's just... There's a lot of snow.

Is it like Glass Onion? In Lapland? We watched Glass Onion. That is pretty. Oh, my God. Ooh. So you get to live in a pyramid glass? Where's Lapland?

I believe it's North Sweden. I could be wrong. Ooh. Ooh oh i do want to go to speed and this is really pretty this is pretty might be too cold though definitely too cold for me uh wildlife cruise to the south pole again also cold tour of egypt cooking lessons in italy what do you think this year i'm gonna say egypt that sounds pretty cool that does sound cool for the sake of being different i'll say cooking lessons in italy i just won't go to rome i'll go to a different part of italy okay Pick your joint wedding gift. A pottery wheel. Kitchen appliances. Bookcases and gift card to help fill it.

Matching watches? Who did I invite? These guests suck. Oh, God. I guess I need kitchen appliances. But a pottery wheel sounds cool. You don't cook. Nor do I do pottery.

I was also going to choose pottery wheels so I could reenact Ghost with my future partner. You should do that. I'm going to say kitchen appliances so that I just have them so someone could cook if they wanted to in my home. Okay. All right. I like that. Matching watches? Like, who wants that? Haven't we moved past, like, expensive watches? Who wants a watch? Well, I didn't say expensive. I said matching watches. Who wants a watch? Haven't we moved past watches in general? You have a watch.

I do? Oh, yeah. I never watches in general? You have a watch. I do? Oh, yeah, I never wear it. It's an Apple watch. You're right, and I never wear it. Which feature would you want for your dream home? Lots of bedrooms to have a family. A home gym. Plenty of space to roam in privacy.

Music room. Oh, my God. plenty of space to roam and privacy music room oh my god well you know i love plenty of space to roam and privacy yeah and i don't need a music room i'm not like making music i certainly don't want a home gym i would love lots of bedrooms but i don't want a family family don't have to be people families whatever you make it to be shoes are my family lots of bedrooms, but I don't want a family. Family don't have to be people. Family is whatever you make it to be. Shoes are my family. Lots of bedrooms to have a family. Shoes are my family. Okay.

Well, because I don't want, like, children or anything. Yuck. Yuck. Ugh, Tashir. Have you, like, actually thought about having kids? I guess so. I have thought about it.

I had like a really in-depth thought session about it. Okay. And it was really upsetting. What happened in this thought session? Oh, I like really thought about it. And I was like, oh, I have no intentions of ever changing my lifestyle to accommodate a human that's little and stuff and like it doesn't like deserve to be in my life i mean they don't they're in my life because

of circumstance like i gave birth to them so they have to be in my life and like that's not how i want any of my friendships to begin do you know know what I'm saying? Like, I want the other person to have autonomy and like be able to like make a choice. I want this child to choose to be in my life, okay? I don't want you to feel like attached to me or you owe me something. I want you to exist. And if you want to be in my life, come see me. Yeah, more or less. Yes.

And that's like, after i got super deep in that thought process i was like oh i think i'm one of those people that really shouldn't have a kid i don't think people who have kids think about things like that they're not they don't think about their child making the choices whether or not they want to be in their life absolutely not and it's like it's a fucking baby like it can't make a choice and that's like another problem i have you can't make a choice. And that's like another problem I have. You can't tell me you're hungry, bitch,

grow up. What do you want? Grow up, learn some words and tell me what's up. Yeah. These are all good points. Yeah. So I was like,

I can't do this. I can't ever. And I was like, no matter how like my little desire for a baby because like i don't know every time i see a baby i'm like yum yum yum yum yum but as soon as i hold that baby and i go home i'm satiated like that's all my body wants is like to be near a baby for a little bit and i'm like i just have to remember that like it's not a permanent thing i would be a bad mom and I know it.

Okay. What would the first party you host after getting married? What? What would be the first party you'd host after getting married? A karaoke party. Gingerbread house decorating contest. Video game tournament. Backyard fire.

I took out. A backyard fire. I took out. A backyard fire. Guys, I'm lighting my backyard on fire. Come over. Yeah, that's definitely a divorce party. We're lighting this bitch on fire. We hate each other. Honestly, a karaoke party. We're lighting this bitch on fire. We hate each other. Honestly, a karaoke party. I love karaoke. Yeah. I think I would do a backyard fire and cookout. That sounds nice to me.

That does sound nice. And again, I would have the appliances for someone else to do the cooking, but I would not. Smart. And finally, choose a project to do with your partner. Research your family trees. Couples dance lessons. Build tiny house to take on road. Camp in New Park

every summer weekend. Are these ones missing like words? Camp in New Park every summer weekend. Build tiny house to take on road um i'm not feeling any of these i'm not either um maybe i do dance lessons that'd be fun i'm gonna have to do the same. Mm-hmm. Because, yeah. No.

Because, yeah, no. This is Nicole. Yes! Yes! What is this quiz? Oh, the wedding dress you get. Yeah. Which phenomenal movie wedding dress you should wear

based on the fantasy love life you craft? Okay. I just got excited because I saw Carrierie bradshaw from sex of the city but i forgot why we're yeah okay so this only dress wait this only dress perfect what this only dress perfect for a style queen like you am i crazy that's worded insane right that is i think someone quickly wrote this quiz they quit they were fired where the fuck is this quiz and they're like just feverishly typing is that good enough they're like yeah whatever it's buzzfeed we're getting defunded anyway publish it who cares this only dress perfect for a style queen like you

wow okay got it so it's carrie bradshaw's vera wing dress from the first sex in the city movie where spoiler something happens and she doesn't quite get married in the dress but she does get to keep the dress it is strapless it is arc it's like pointed pointy angles on the bustier um there's a veil i believe there's a bird on the veil um but you can't see that in this picture but yeah it's pretty it's like an off-white creamy color and this is this year mia thermopolis from the Princess Diaries 2. This traditional romantic dress for perfect for your traditional style. Did this get translated from something else?

This is like a BuzzFeed from overseas. That's really funny. To English. This traditional romantic dress for perfect you for your traditional style oh boy they use traditional twice and four for the dress is like uh really lacy at the top looks like it's like a strapless white dress with lace on top that goes over the sleeves. And then like loopy lace for a really long veil and the tiara on top. Made for a princess. I guess I didn't see the princess diaries, too, because I had no idea that Mia Thermopolis got married. News to me.

It was a royal wedding. She married Chris Pine. What? No, no, no. She actually doesn't marry him in the movie. I thought she married Chris Pine. No. So there's a twist at the end.

Am I going to... Spoilers. Sorry. There's a third one coming out. I think the third one is maybe them finally going. But how the second one goes is that she's actually not engaged to Chris Pine. Chris Pine is trying to take

the royalty crown from her because his family is saying that it's actually he's supposed to be king or whatever, prince. Oh no. They fall in love when she's supposed to marry someone else. Yeah, so she cancels the wedding with the one guy who's very sweet, this poor guy.

But they're like, no, this isn't a match. She falls in love with Chris Pine, but they're like, no, no, no, we're not getting married. So they're just kind of dating at the end of the movie. Oh, okay. Thank you, Jordan. I appreciate that. I really got that wrong. Yeah, thank you.

I'm glad another one's coming out. A third one? Really? Mm-hmm. Wow. I love that Hollywood's like, hey, these actors are still acting. Let's use them. Yeah, let's use them. Let's throw them in this thing that you know you love. You loved it 20 years ago. Let's do it again.

Yeah, people love Top Gun and they love this new Top Gun and that's the only thing i can think of right now i was trying to think of something too i don't know but there's so many there's so many yeah so many reboots and whatnot charlie's angels um can i just show you so i got like a a desktop and sometimes i have to plug in my mouse to charge it. I think this is how you plug it in. I can't use this. Why would they do that like this?

It plugs in from the bottom. Are you kidding, Apple? So you just like lay on its side? I guess. Why would they do that? Why would they do that like this yeah it should be like it should be able to lay flat and then you plug it into

like yes the outer part the side part wild wild wild weird very upsetting weird move apple also it's a mouse so it's like you gotta put it you gotta give it a tail

yeah if i ever saw a mouse where a tail came from the bottom i'd be like this mouse is sick from directly below its belly this this is shitting out its tail it's not well not good should we help people okay all right here is a question from listener hi nicole hi this year hi timmy hi jordan um i'm calling with a silly friend question but it's kind of a big deal uh first of all i love you very, very much. And I'm nervous and excited to talk to you. Anyway, moving forward. So my 30th birthday is coming up. Big love. I normally don't get excited and celebrate my birthday on a holiday during this time of year. And but this year decided to kind of do something because COVID has been rough and things are sad. So I am a big old lesbian.

That matters. And I have a really diverse group of friends. And I love that. And some of them are in bisexual relationships with hetero, like, pairings. Some of them are gay. Some of them are also lesbian. Some of them, you know, all across the board. of them are gay some of them are also lesbians some of them you know all across the board my issue is that i have this friend who i love very very much but she's in a she's fully straight and

her husband is one of those came from a white evangelical family and um so he's not exactly the most tolerant person like i'm gonna give him the benefit of the doubt and believe so he's not exactly the most tolerant person. Like I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and believe that he's trying and he's trying to grow. Um, but there's times where he really likes those things. And I just, I put up with it a lot for her, but this is my first day and I don't really want to put up with that. Sorry.

What's the problem? Um, so I've invited all my friends to my birthday party and um I've invited you know like in the group chat people are like oh can my you know this my partner come or this I'm like yes of course and now I'm in the situation where he may come and most likely will but I don't want him there because again this is I very rarely make situations about me and I don't want to have to endure that on my birthday especially because I've kind of started seeing someone for the first time in a long time and I'm very excited and she's meeting everybody uh exciting but I don't want him to damper on that and I really don't want him to like make her uncomfortable or myself or any of her other

friends who are in good relationships because like he's not friends with most of these people he doesn't interact with them so I don't really want to subject that so I guess let me boil it down how do I invite my friend and also make it clear he's not invited while being kind and polite and not rude but also at the same time firm because he's kind of nudged his way into other events that we've hosted that it was kind of clear he wasn't invited to anyways long message i just need some help i don't want him there thank you so much please Please help me. Bye. Okay. Yeah. You got to make this party as gay as possible. So he won't even want to come. Make it the gayest fucking birthday party you can think of. So he's like,

ew, I wouldn't want to come to that. And then all your friends will have a blast. Yeah. That's one option. Say it's at a sex party. Yeah. A raunchy, nasty sex party where everyone's going to be painted rainbow. And drag queens are running the door.

And you have to take poppers when you enter. And I don't know. No, that was a lot. You knew a lot. Thanks. You're welcome i think realistically you gotta say since your boyfriend isn't really like friend friends with the group i'm keeping it to just like friend friends of the group oh but how heartbreaking oh is that mean i don't know i guess i don't know how close that friend is who has the partner we don't like because if you told me i couldn't bring my partner because i'm only bringing friend

friends i'd be like oh you don't you're not you don't think you're friends with my partner that sucks oh dang oh i didn't even think of it like that. You know? See, this is, okay, here's why it's tough. Because there are some partners going. Yeah, if it was like a, no partners, just you guys, then you'd be like, sorry, no partners, but some partners are coming. And I'm sure the person who called likes some of those partners, so.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, there's no blanket. Lie. Lie. Lie and say that it's non-partners. And then when that friend comes and there are partners there, be like, I can't believe it.

This is crazy. I can't believe it. I said. I told them not to bring. I said no partners. But didn't they, didn't the caller say that there was a group chat where people had been asking about partners?

Ah, shit, yeah. And the caller already said yes to that. So the friend already probably knows that people are bringing their partners. Why? I can't remember what the caller said they didn't like specifically about the partner. I guess they have said things in the past oh yes that were like off color to people in the group or maybe her specifically maybe bring that up with your friend i mean that's a hard thing to be like hey your partner said this to me and it made me feel really uncomfortable

yeah i don't know what past that to say because like he made me really uncomfortable can you not come to my party like that sound that feels pretty whether it's your party or not that conversation probably does need to happen at some point in time if this is a person that you want to keep in your life and if their partner makes you uncomfortable you probably would over time withdraw from that friend anyway, which sucks because it's not your friend, it's your friend's partner. But if your friend's unaware of this, then there's nothing that can be done. But if you did say, yeah, I would love to hang or see you more often, but your partner has said X, Y, and Z and made me uncomfortable and makes me feel, like, scared to actually invite them in group situations where other queer friends are there,

then maybe your friend will be like, oh, shit, let me talk to him. Or, okay, he won't come to the birthday party, but I'll figure out what we're going to do about this going forward yeah I think that's good yeah I think the talk needs to happen regardless solve

solve should we do one more? yeah it's an email hi Nicole and Sashir you guys are amazing and I'd love to get your thoughts on this issue I'm having. I'm a lesbian and I have a friend group that's primarily queer women and non-binary people. It's a newishet boyfriend, but she's not fully out, including to him, and she seems to be scared to tell him. I've gotten the impression that she hasn't spent a lot of time with other queer people prior to this. When we all hang out, me and another queer

person in the group bring our partners, also queer, and we invite Gertrude to do the same. Gertrude brought her boyfriend to one gathering, and he seemed to not have a good time. I felt like multiple of us tried very hard to include him in the conversation, but he just would not open up. Gertrude told us later that he felt weird being the only guy there and didn't feel included and he hasn't come to hang out with us since. Later, she made a comment about how he feels like an outsider because we're a group of mostly lesbians. This kind of seems weird from all angles, right? He's not the only cishet dude I hang out with, but he's the only one that apparently can't make conversation with women and queer people. It's not like we only talk about

being gay. I also think she may feel some type of way that other people in the group are able to bring our partners to hang out, but she feels like she can't. But that's not for lack of us welcoming him. And also our partners that do come to hang out get along really well with everyone. So it doesn't feel right saying they can't come. I don't think that's what Gertrude wants either. Have either of you experienced anything like this before? Any input would be greatly appreciated. I haven't really experienced that before. Anytime I've met someone's partner who's like not a comedian or like not in the community, they're like pretty cool and chill because they're with someone who's like in our circle or whatever.

I don't know. This dude, it's kind of funny that he's just like, I'm the only man here. Oh, who's going to talk about sports with me? I'm like, I don't know. Any it's kind of funny that he's just like when the only man here oh who's gonna talk about sports with me i'm like i don't know any of the lesbians there like right like i'm sure you can find some woodworking uh sports like you can you can find some common ground so yeah it seems insane that a straight man's having trouble with like queer women which sounds very blanketed that like queer women and men are the same i'm just saying if a if there's a group of people and this man can't find one person to talk to throw them away yeah yeah that sounds like the guy's problem because yeah i've been with

straight men who had no problem talking to gay people or queer people at all. Like, it just, yeah, it sucks. That's unfortunate for your friend, for Gertrude, who is with a guy who, just like on a base level, you should just be like, I'm going to make an effort to be friends with my partner's friends. Like, I'm going to like, you don't have to be best friends, but I'm going to like effort to be friends with my partner's friends like i'm gonna like you don't be best friends but i'm gonna like try to find some common ground because we you know i want to

have group hangouts these are the people she likes in her life and i'm in her life i should try to get along with them but to be like i don't, like, what? I'm the only guy? Which also is not true. It sucks. Here's what they should do. Okay. Ask Gertrude all of her boyfriend's favorite things and throw a favorite thing boyfriend party. And if he doesn't have a good time

and can't find anyone to talk to about his favorite things, throw him away. Gertrude has to throw him away, too. We got to throw this man away. I don't like this man. I really don't too we gotta throw this man away i don't like this man i really don't like him we don't like him he's bad we gotta throw him away yeah just yeah this yeah yeah i think this is also a non-problem for our friends like this man can't figure out how to hang out with y'all y'all seem like a nice fun time and

can't figure out how to hang out with y'all y'all seem like a nice fun time and sorry about his loss it's his life yeah and i think it's like always make sure gertrude feels like her partner's invited i think that's like a nice thing especially if you like he hasn't done anything he's just like a little awkward or whatever so like yeah if you want to bring him bring him if not you don't have to but we're always more than welcome to have him. And maybe the more he hangs out, the more he'll... Fucking relax and learn how to fucking talk to people? Because maybe it's like a lack of familiarity. Maybe it's like, maybe he just hasn't been around queer people much at all in his life. So maybe the more he hangs, the more he's like, oh like oh they they like stuff like they also like

nachos like i like nachos they're people just like me okay this is funny good i hate this man he sucks throw him away that is my uh those are my thoughts. Throw him away. And after he gets thrown away, I'm kidding. You don't need to let me know that he got thrown away. I'll hear him go in the trash. You can email Nicole and Sashira at gmail.com or you can call, text or leave us a voice memo at 424-645-7003. We also have merch at podswag.com slash bestfriends. Listen, we have transcripts for our new episodes.

Check them out on our show page at earwolf.com. Lastly, don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe. That is the easiest way to support this show. And remember, if there is a straight guy in your life who doesn't know how to talk to people, throw him away. See you later, everybody.

Bye-bye. Bye-bye.