Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Nicole Wants to Move Metal With Her Mind! (Crossover Episode)

Episode Date: August 23, 2023

Hello friends! It’s the crossover episode of Best Friends and Why Won’t You Date Me. Nicole celebrates the 300th episode of Why Won’t You Date Me with Sasheer on the show. Sasheer and Nicole ask each other questions from the New York Times article “The 36 Questions That Lead to Love” to celebrate.  Sasheer talks all about her new comedy special “First Woman” out now. Nicole helped inspire a few risqué jokes that didn’t make it on Sasheer’s special.  Nicole wants to move metal with her mind. Sasheer wants everyone to know that her friendship with Nicole doesn’t look like other friendships. They help answer a friendship question about friends not responding to birthday trip plans and creating more accessible activities for friends who are really active.  This was recorded on August 17th, 2023. Check out Sasheer’s Comedy Special “First Woman” on 800 Pound Gorilla starting August 15th and free on YouTube starting August 29th. https://800poundgorillamedia.com/products/sasheer-zamata-the-first-woman Here is the quiz we took: NY Times, “The 36 Questions That Lead to Love,”https://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/09/style/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html Email or call Nicole & Sasheer with your friendship questions at:[e-mail] Get access to all the podcasts you love, music channels and radio shows with the SiriusXM App! Get 3 months free using this show link https://siriusxm.com/friends and code FRIENDS.

Hi, it's me, Sashira Zameda, and I have a stand-up special that is out right now. It's called The First Woman, and it's on the 800-lb. Gorilla website. You can go to 800lb. GorillaMedia.com, and it's a pay-what-you-can format. Donate whatever you want to watch the special. And then August 29th, it comes out for free on YouTube. And please watch and laugh and share and live life and prosper. If you want to see me live,

I'm doing stand up. August 26th, I'll be at the Chelsea at the Cosmopolitan in Las Vegas. September 15th, I'll be at River City Casino in St. Louis, Missouri. September 16th, I'll be at the Pantages Theater in Minneapolis, Minnesota. September 22nd, I'll be at Meridian Hall in Toronto, Ontario. And September 29th, I'll be at the Newmark Theater in Portland. And September 30th, I'll be in a casino in Washington.

And you can get all that at NicoleBeyerWasTaken.com or just the little link tree in my Instagram. Hello, friends. Hello. Oh, I thought you were saying hello to me. Sorry. You could say hello to the friends. Hello, friends! sorry i'm listen you are my priority the people who listen are just cursatory tertiary i think that's the word i'm trying to say what is curse it means like incidental, right? Like they're just like, whatever. Yeah. Like, like peripheral. Yeah. I don't know.

But cursatory kind of sounds like a word. I don't think so. I don't know what it could be. What did you say? Tertiary. Yeah. Tertiary. Mm hmm.

Hello, friends. We have a special episode for you today. We're doing a crosswalk, cross, cross, crossover episode with my other podcast. Y'all, I've been going since 10 a.m. No breaks. Why won't you date me? Oh, no.

We just celebrated 300 episodes with my best friend, Sashir, you. Yes, I was on the show and it was so fun. Thank you so much for doing it congrats on 300 episodes thank you i've done okay so in 65 more episodes you can listen to one every day of the year whoa that's pretty nuts that's kind of wild yeah that's a lot of me talking i can't imagine listening to me like for an hour every day. I mean, I'm sure people do it.

Wild. What a choice. What a choice. Now do your line. Oh, so on this podcast. No, on your podcast. Mine. Why won't you date me? And the best thing about this is we're actors who say lines.

And this one doesn't even have a character name. This is like our name but i don't know how to play myself so hard there's nothing i can hide behind there's no mask so on your podcast you usually explore romantic relationships intimacy and sex stuff hell yeah fucking and on ours we usually do like a BuzzFeed quiz. We talk about friendship, you know, lights. So instead of taking a BuzzFeed quiz today, we're going to answer some questions from the New York Times article entitled The 36 Questions That Lead to Love.

You know, I once asked someone to do that and they sort of said no. We'll answer your friendship questions. And at the end of this episode we'll have a clip of the 300th episode of my podcast for you to check out you the listener in the meantime let's catch up with sashir hey listen you've had a second comedy special first woman it's out now oh my god i was trying to make it like more me and in turn made it like i was an alien yeah looking at words for the first time it couldn't have been less like you yeah wow okay so you have a second comedy special it's called first woman i got to see it live i am so proud of you and we talked about it on my podcast why won won't you date me? But I want to know, how does it feel to have it out now?

I feel so good. Yeah, I shot it last year and I'm just excited for it to be out in the world. You can watch it now on the 800 pound gorilla website and on the 29th. It's free on YouTube. And yeah, I am excited for people to see new material from me. I feel like my first special was so wonderful and fun. You can also keep

watching that one too. It's called Pizza Mind. It's on Amazon. Actually, fuck Amazon. Yeah, fuck your pizzas. But it,

you know, came out five years ago and I feel like times have changed. I have changed. My comedy has changed. So I'm just really excited for people to see this, this version of my voice.

And I feel like it's a really good representation of me. That's good. I'm glad. Thank you. I'm excited for people watching. Guess what? It comes out on August 29th, my birthday.

So do me a solid PayPal me, send me money, Venmo me. No, no i'm kidding watch this year's special all right should we answer the love questions great segues right i'm doing good yeah we can answer i'm doing great yeah we can answer the love questions um actually wait I do want to tell, I do want to say something else about my special. There were like a couple moments, it's a couple jokes that you helped influence because we workshop stuff with each other all the time.

And there's a joke in there where I'm talking about Charlie horses. And you were like and it was like about I was like about I guess ailments that black people have and like of course we statistically have a greater percentage of getting said ailment because we are black mm i was like and you know probably charlie horses even applies to that too and then uh i wanted to like figure out a way to like convey like like the history of charlie horses and you were like oh what if you talk about um a slave

a slave who was taking care of a racist horse named Charlie. And then the horse goes, Nigger. I'd stand by it. I mean, it makes me laugh. But I was like... Because if you tell it factually. I think I said... Wait, is that what I said or did i say charlie horses

are like it's a it's a cramp in your leg that is remnant like it reminds oh fuck i think maybe that is what i said i know the horse is the punch yeah you definitely wanted me to personify the horse and i was like i don't think my fans and i was like i think they'll really love it if you try it if you just test it out a little oh god i forgot about that until you reminded me of it a couple weeks ago and it made me laugh so hard it reminded me of the time i thought it'd be good to write jokes about bad things that have happened because I was like The memes during COVID were pretty funny. What would the memes be like during slavery? And I think one of the ones we came off was like once the shackles come off, it's over for you bitches.

And then oh god, there was a good 9-11 one i can't remember oh that's funny i thought you'd never forget sorry That's very funny. Oh my God. Yeah, our text thread is really bad. Terrible. And it will stay in the text. It stays in the thread. Sometimes I'll call you to be like, I got an awful thing to say.

I mean, one of my favorite jokes, you love it. And you told me to go tell it. And then Netflix told me, you have such a wonderful special don't put this in and i didn't yeah but that's how i presented on stage and i was like you want to hear netflix didn't even want this joke i did it in denver but i only did it the late show on saturday and one of the staff members was like hey you, you gotta keep telling that joke. You gotta. It is really,

it'll be like, it'll be a legend, honestly. It'll be like lore. Like people, because you won't record it probably anytime soon, but people will be like, have you heard Nicole's like B-side joke? I got a text from someone who was like,

what is this joke? Oh my God. And I was like, honestly, I can't, I don't want to put it to paper. I was like, next time oh my god and i was like honestly i can't i don't want to put it to paper i was like next time i see you i'll explain it yeah i think i want you to build this up for years where people are like we need to see i mean joke honestly i think a total of maybe 200 people for this joke no that's a lie because I did it at a gallon. Yeah. There's like maybe a thousand people. Maybe a thousand people for this joke.

Yeah. But one day, the world. The world. I don't know. I don't know if I'll ever. I think there'll be such a high demand one day that you will have to record it and it'll be great. Well, it is recorded. I did tape it for my special.

You'll release it. Release the recording. And it's just, it's a little icon on my computer. Waiting to be spread. And I look at it and I go that's funny it's never gonna go nowhere someone hacks into my computer to get it we have to sing but yeah i'm excited for your special to come out i think the response is going to be very nice yeah i think so too and we get to see the evolution of your jumpsuit from a cold blue yeah to a warm amber oh yeah i think so yeah i guess that blue wasn't cold that was also like a warmer blue it was like a bright blue yeah but yeah this is a different different tones all throughout yeah you've

settled into your earth mama a very earth mama in the special yeah i did actually um contemplate like filming the whole thing barefoot and i was like that's a that's a bridge too far i'm glad you wore shoes you can't give them toes away because i wanted a real earthy vibe and there's like plants and stuff on the ground but then i was like i could just wear shoes I'm glad you did because what if a nail was on the stage yeah yeah we're still in an industrial space you know what if staple glass yeah these are all bad things I don't want my foot tetanus yeah I don't want tetanus sludge don't want the sludge either what if there's sludge on the stage, Sashir? I guess it would absorb into my skin and I'd become a mutant.

Or everyone would call you Sludgy Sashir. Oh, no. I don't want to be Sludgy Sashir. I think that's the worst. That's the worst case scenario. Uh-huh. Has anyone, like, called you, like, a, like a, like, have you ever done something, something like embarrassing and someone was like, look at the trips a lot? No, I had cousins that would call me sausage tomato.

Like shears of tomato. Which is pretty funny. Yeah, but I didn't like it. Yeah, because it's not your name. I think that's why I didn't like it. Because it's not necessarily it's not a burn, but it's just like, I don't know. Just call me my name. Yeah.

Did you? No. I mean, I've fallen down a lot of places and people have been like, hey, are you okay? Yeah. Yeah. I'm all right. Yeah. Hey, you fell.

They're not like pointing and laughing at you. No, they're just like, fall down at you no it's like fall down i used to fall so much i think because it was before i was medicated i just think i wasn't like grounded yeah or like looking around i didn't take my medicine yesterday because all i had to do was get on a plane and we were leaving a friend at the place we were staying at you were with me and i was filming her twirling around and i put the phone down because i was looking at her with my eyes and forgot i was filming it and i can't explain it any better than that you explained it perfectly yeah you you thought you were still recording because you were looking at her but

you weren't looking at her through the phone you were just looking at her and boy oh boy sometimes i'm like just exhausted by my mere existence i wrote in my notes app i was like going through my notes out trying to find like maybe i had scraps of jokes that i had started and i had written waking up every day is like climbing out of a grave and holy shit i was like like, wow, I was really in my feelings that day. Oh my God. But I do feel like that sometimes I'm like, oh my God. The brain's gotta get going. Like today I usually have water by my bed

to take medicine in the morning. And I woke up in the morning and I was like, I don't have water. And I was like, but I have to take my medicine. So I put it in my pocket instead of just holding it in my hand so i would remember it yeah i went through so much today without taking my medicine damn did i take it check your pocket no no okay i did take it i drank it with a warm diet coke yeah it was in my car yeah it's hot. It's a hot out. It's a real steamer out. It's the bed I chose to lie in. I left it in the car. Yeah, you gotta use your resources. The Diet Coke's still in your car? You better believe it.

Throw it out. I know. I just want to be upset every time I get in my car and take a sip. Why did I do this? Also, my car is so filthy right now. I just got a car wash today. I was going to get one today, but I wasn't home long enough for someone to come do it. Yeah. Dang. And then I have to do it if someone doesn't come do it because I can't go through the automatic car wash. Because she's a soft top baby.

But my car is disgusting. It's because it's just been outside for a long, long time and not in the garage. Yeah. You can get a car cover. You ever thought about that? And then remove it and put it on and remove it and put it on. Or maybe just like put it on when you're going to be gone for a long time. Yes.

That is smart. Maybe I should do that. It would have been nice to come home to a clean car. Yeah. Instead, she's so nasty. And every time I see her, I'm like, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry you're so nasty. Yeah.

Should we take that quiz? Yeah. Or do we want to talk more? I could do either. You want to talk more? What you got? What do I got? What?

What? What do I got? What do you got? We could take the quiz and maybe they'll inspire some more talking stuff but that means that we can't just talk on our own yeah no we we always talk on our own don't you remember this show we always take 20 minute tangents off of one question and then we're like what were we doing you're absolutely correct can i just tell you i need to figure out my hair braiding situation. I thought of something. Because I have very thin hair,

but I've got a lot of thin hair. It's like a patchy field, if you will. And my braids slip, my little individuals slip so quickly. This is not even a month old, but it looks like it's over a month old. And it's not the braider's fault. It's just what my hair does. Interesting.

And I don't know what to do. I'm like, maybe I don't blow dry it to braid it, but then that makes their job infinitely harder to braid coarser hair. But they should be able to handle that. I don't think your hair is so coarse that they couldn't get through it to braid it. You're right. It's not that coarse. Yeah, maybe don't get through it to braid it you're right it's not that coarse yeah maybe don't blow dry it okay see if that works out yeah maybe i'll do that because you said it is it's already like fluffy right or it's already like thin it's thin soft supple

not luscious because it's thin i don't think you really call something luscious as thin. Yeah. Yeah. Very soft hair. Then you don't have to blow it out. Okay. Maybe I'll try that. Yeah. Because I really like my braider. She's so fast.

She did this whole head in five hours. That's great. And telling stories. Stories add to time. You got braids and a show? Uh-huh. Wow. She's great. I really love her.

And I got frozen yogurt after she just gave you frozen yogurt no i walked over to frog and they were about to close and i said but can i have a cup and he was like yeah and i was like i'm so sorry to be in here and he was like it's fine and i was like all right well he seemed belabored and then he was like you can't have any hot toppings i was like no hot fudge he He was like, no, get out. It was a nice time. I feel like so sorry to be here. Can I have hot fudge?

Just heat it up real quick. Heat up my fudge. Okay, let's take the 36 questions that lead to love. Yes. Now, we're only going to answer a few of them because of time, but this is based on a study by Arthur Aron.

Aron explored how intimacy can be accelerated with strangers by asking them specific personal questions. He must've been fun to be around. So we're gonna ask, oh my God, what if we fall out of love with each other? Because isn't that like something that could happen? Is this something that can happen? Falling out of love? Based on on these questions i don't think so please please can you google what the negative side

before i ask the first question i feel like i think they are just so that you can fall into love i have i have done this before with someone i was already in love with and you fall more in love i think so i think it like reveals more about yourself that maybe you haven't discussed which like being vulnerable and like learning more about someone automatically makes you feel closer and more in love i will say it felt rushed because i think like I had asked like, hey, let's do this quiz. And he was like, OK, yeah, like real quick. I don't remember what I don't know why there was a rush, but I didn't feel like we were like, you know, locked in and like, let's take our time for this. And then there's a moment at the end where you have to stare into each other's eyes for like five minutes, maybe three minutes.

It's like for minutes uninterrupted. OK, let's try it. Okay. Ew, that's wild. We only did it for like one second. It's weird. Yeah, you're just staring. And then after a while it gets boring

and I'm like switching from eye to eye. I've already started, when we started, I was like one eye, two eye, one eye, two eye. Yeah. I don't think I can do that. Yeah. That's a long time. But I guess it's like, you know, it's intimate. It's really, really intimate. And nothing has come up that anyone has fallen out of love by asking these questions.

Did you Google negative side effects of the 36 question quiz? Negative side effects. Okay. Given the choice, and you're supposed to alternate asking questions right yeah but i think i think we each answered the question oh okay given the choice of anyone in the world whom would you want as a dinner guest anyone in the world that's what uh arthur aaron said um i mean i think i'd say you you're a great dinner guest you're very entertaining thank you especially in restaurants oh my god thank you you're always joking with the waiters

everyone's like for my wine yesterday yes yeah a lot of oohs and ahs i did not realize how much i ooh and ah until we did this like a week it wasn't a weekend it was during the week i know we went on a trip we were like we're getting away for the weekend it was like today's monday yeah um i wine tastings and every time there was a new one it was like oh i am not aware i am really not self-aware. I did not realize how much I ooh and ah. Yeah, you ooh and ah a lot. Did you know? I mean, yeah, I guess so,

but I guess I wouldn't have labeled you as a ooh or an ah. Mmm. I don't know why. Like, it wasn't a new thing, but I wasn't like, that's what she always does. That's her thing. Yeah, I truly am not aware of anything that I do. I didn't realize I spoke with a weird cadence until someone mimicked me. And I was like, I simply don't sound like that.

And then they were like, you simply don't. And I was like, oh, what are you doing? And then whenever people do impressions of me i feel attacked especially if they get it right yeah and i because christy cello will sometimes do it and i'm like stop it because i don't i don't realize it until you do it it's like when i say something i said something wild at breakfast the other day absolutely unhinged i will not repeat it it's about a certain person you know who well you said so little details that i actually don't know but i guess i i i'm sure i do i'll give you a hint a person i i really have texted about that could be.

There's so many people. This is funny because I really think I'm doing a good job of giving you hints. Okay, we have texted about her. Yeah, I'm sure. Okay. Her hair. her hair is a cloud for those listening Nicole is doing crazy things with her hands around her head

oh now this is just a mime segment and I said a wild thing about this person around her head. Oh, now you, there's. Oh, this was just a mime segment at this point. Oh, okay, now I know her, okay, yes, yes. And I said a wild thing about this person. Yes. And then I didn't think it was wild, and I was like, whatever, can't tell me.

And then a friend repeated it, and I was like, oh my God, is that what I said? They were like, yes, verbatim, and I was like, that was bad. Mm-hmm. No self-awareness. I'll tell you guys, off air. And listeners, you'll never know.

Guess what? You're not in studio. But if you enter the raffle, you can come in studio. And learn what Nicole said on our TikTok. Imagine that was like a contest you can enter well who would you invite for um dinner i think i would invite you okay less confident than my no i was thinking because i was like well i i feel like the go-to is like some famous person or like someone that you're like oh i really want to like know more about you. But I'm like, the best dinners are like either short, quick and dirty dinners or like long dinners where we're like laughing and having a nice time.

And you're not going to get that with Oprah because I don't know her. Right. I'm not going to have a long, luxurious, luxurious dinner with her. Yeah. Or like Vin Diesel. Like, I'm not gonna have a great, I don't know him. Yeah, I don't wanna feel on in this dinner of my choosing.

Yeah, I just wanna have a nice tee tee, ha ha. Hee hee ha ha? Tee hee hee, what do I say? Tee hee hee, that's what I say. Tee hee hee. What do I say? Yeah, you. Yay.

What would constitute a perfect day for you? On this perfect day. Perfect day. Perfect day. Okay. I do like doing things with you. I also like waking up with you, whether I wake up later or we are in Italy and I wake up before you somehow.

Also, the other day I woke up before you. Yeah, I was surprised. So sure. I wish there was cameras in the house to capture what I was doing because I was creeping around. I was like, I simply can't wake her. And I was like creeping. I was like, I'll fold this shirt. And I'd fold that shirt and I'd run back to bed because I was like, I don't want her to see me out of bed.

And I don't know why. I don't want her to see me out of bed and i don't know why i don't know i because you're wearing like a sleeping mitt uh-oh i do want to call it a sleeping mitt from now on i couldn't find the words to say tree ornament. Oh boy. And I said, what did I say? A December man hug. He said, a December person, a Christmas man. Sleeping that is so weird. But I didn't want you to take your mitt off

and see me like squatting over my suitcase and be like, what is she doing? But I think I just be like, oh, she's up. I don't think I'd be like, get back in bed. You can't be up and awake without me. Well, in my brain, I was not allowed. And I don't know why. And then also, I was just like waiting to be like, hello.

It's something about the way you were sitting. This is very presentational because you were like laid laid up and then all the covers were oh like off of you and surrounding you and then you're just like on your phone like kind of like proving i didn't want to miss you waking up so if i turned my back and i might have missed it. But I wanted to be like, hi. That's really funny. Again, I do think they seem really normal. They're like recounting. I'm like, that's unhinged.

I could have left the room. There was other people in the house. I could have gone downstairs. My God. But I was like, when will she? And then I was like, maybe she'll be awake at 845. And then 845 would go and I'm like, maybe 850. I'm like taking bets with myself.

Oh my god. That's very funny. But yeah, we wake up together. Either in the same bed or separate beds. I don't really mind. Because like your feet don't touch me or anything. And then like something nice happens happened like we go do something and then maybe it ends with like a hot tubbing and like a nice dinner oh i like that yeah and i don't want to say where the place is because there's so many different places that we've gone and places that we haven't been to yeah yeah i think my perfect day is like on a

trip with you yeah because i don't want to wake up in like bed at my house with you that's insane yeah i'd be like well why is this happening yeah why don't you go home i could just go to my house or sleep on the couch in a different place in the house um yeah i also want to be on a trip with you and i want to go thrift shopping we haven't done that in so long a really long time we gotta find a good one yeah oh wait we did do it we did it when you were filming but we didn't find a good one no we didn't find a good one but yeah thrift shopping eating good food um he he ha ha and having a really good dinner and then just like being on the couch and like laughing at stuff yeah i do like that if you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30 year old oh for the last 60 years of your life which would you want it kind of does

sound like a math question where it's like you live to 90 and then a train that's 30 years old comes to you 60 miles per hour so this is saying my 30 wait so at 30 i can either keep this body or keep this mind yes but I won't learn anything else. I think it's like the mind of like, I think you'll be as sharp as you are at 30. Because you get dumber as you get older. Well, not necessarily dumber, but. You get wrinkles and idiotness. No, just like, yeah, your brain deteriorates.

It can deteriorate as you get older. your brain deteriorates. It can deteriorate as you get older. So either your body gets older and breaks down and you keep your mind at the same mental capacity that you had when you were 30 or your brain will age

as it does when you get to 90 and your body is still as fit as it was when you were 30. Okay, what do you think? Maybe I would want... That's hard. I thought it was hard at first. Oh, okay.

Definitely keeping the body of a 30-year-old. How funny. How funny. To look exactly like this and be like, I don't know, child. Listen. Oh, I lost my damn keys. Where's my senior citizen discount?

Oh, my God. Mm hmm. It's very funny to me because I would literally be like this at 90 years old, not functioning, but look very young functioning but look very young but look very young that's funny that is very funny like oh my god it's like i'm 90 you want to suck on a titty and it's like what is happening yeah yeah maybe i do that too that's funny for different reasons oh maybe because i think if my mind was sharp but my body was deteriorating it would make me very sad oh that i couldn't do all the stuff that i used to be able to do but if my mind ages just at the pace that it would be aging anyway my body could do a lot of stuff

up until though it will just be able to do stuff for you know until i die um and then you know at some point my mind would go but i think i'd probably last till my 80s or something very clear maybe 90s um and it would be nice to still be able to like you know not have as much knee pain although i'm in my 30s and i sure do have knee pain. Wow. You were really thoughtful. I was like, it's funny. Both are valid reasons. I would constantly be pulling out my ID being like, no,

I'm old. I think my mind is going to go pretty fast. Yeah. Or not. Like my grandpa's 94 and he is a shut our put and very fondly yeah oh for what in your life do you feel most grateful like money's fun money's fun yeah clothes are fun clothes are great yeah i love having two eyes not to knock it if you have one that's fine too most great that's really hard hard uh i guess the friendships that i have yeah like the people in my life um i have a it's not like i have like a no terrible people rule i just really don't fuck with terrible people

and i have a lot of like fabulous people in my life who come in and out of my life like one of my best friends from high school lives in australia and with him i just got to see him over the weekend uh and it felt like no time had passed like we pulled out our yearbooks and we were like going through that and laughing and like we played uno sounds dumb but like i was so sleepy because i had done so much shit during the day and he came over at night and i was like rubbing my eyes being like one more thing i have to tell you this and then we woke up the next day and he was like i was so tired last night nicole but i didn't want to go to sleep because i was having so much fun and i was like me too that's really cute and then yeah like

and i like that a lot of my friends will tell me things like that they'll be like oh i really liked when we did x y and z and i'm like me too like i went away with mono and the day after we were no longer together on vacation i i said i made a voice note where i was like hey mono just wondering what you're doing because like it's not with me anymore and like I really miss you um maybe you call me or something and then I didn't send it because I was like that's crazy he's home with his his partner and his dog like he's where it was a vacation and then like three days later he sent me a voice and I was like I really miss you and I think it's because like we spend every day together pretty consecutively and it was chill and nice and I miss you you. And I was like, model!

And then I left him an unhinged voice note. I was like, model! So yeah, I really love the people in my life. Yeah, me too. I like that. I'm going to take that. Take it? You can have it.

Oh, yes! Yeah, I feel like I have a lot of lovely, meaningful relationships in my life. And that makes my life feel good yeah same if you could we're supposed to alternate otherwise we don't do it right and you're trying to steal questions but you paused for so long i didn't arthur would be so disappointed to know but i wanted him i did i did pause for a really long time because I was like, you already did the grateful one. I was like, yeah, Nicole, move on.

Okay, if you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be? To move metal. You ever find a parking space where you're like i could fit and this motherfucker just inched up a little bit i fit i fit you use it just to park to get better parking space i guess my answers are pretty short-sighted. Also, it doesn't say, like, superpowers. It just, I mean, I guess that's not what they ask.

It's like that's under the umbrella of ability. You know what? I'm going to change mine. I'm going to think a little and change mine. Okay. The elevator would always be where i want it to be if i could move metal oh so you're you're sticking with the moving metal you're not changing you're changing the reason why you want moving metal no i'm just saying i could do more things oh such as have the elevator where you want it? Uh-huh. Mm-hmm. If I lose a key, I guess we can unlock a door.

You can stay with moving metal. No, I'll come up with something normal. What would yours be? Well, if we are going the superhuman route. Okay, superhuman and then a normal one. Okay, superhuman. So I can keep my moving metal. Yes, I really don't want you you you seem very attached to it uh i would want like teleportation

oh never be late you actually would i would be late so but it would be less late yeah i would have to like hustle and bustle and like sweat yeah yeah, my normal one. I have trouble regulating my emotions due to my ADHD. And that's like a fun thing I've learned on my ADHD journey. Quality. I don't want to get rid of my ADHD because I feel like it doesn't make me me. But it is. I do think it like I say things that other people wouldn't and I think it's because of the impulse control thing going on and that

my brain moves faster than my mouth or vice versa but I would like to regulate my emotions a little bit more I would like to not burst into tears when I talk about like Sonic yeah um am i gonna cry again um yeah i would love to be able to regulate my emotions a little bit okay sure yeah i would like to be able to accept less control like be more chill with like uh letting other people take the wheel if that makes sense because i love being in control at least in my own life um i try not to control other people i have in the past had problems with that but yeah i think be be more at peace with like knowing i don't have to have control over everything and also it's impossible to do that with that. But yeah, I think be more at peace with like knowing I don't have to have control over everything and also it's impossible to do that.

Yeah. Yeah. I have another one. Oh wait, maybe this is, I don't like change. Ooh, no, accepting things I don't understand. That's what I would like. That's what I like. Oh. Aha, eure things I don't understand. That's what I would like. That's what I like. Oh, ah ha, eureka.

Yeah, I wanna be able to just be like, I don't get it and accept it. As opposed to like, I don't get it. And then harp on it. Cause I harp on things I, cause as spacey and as like scatterbrained as I am, I'm like pretty analytical. I'm like one plus one is two.

And there's no way around it. Yeah. You did this and that is the outcome. That's what it is. Yeah. That's how it should be. But like when something is askew, I'm like,

but why? Mm-hmm. That. Okay. Nice. And moving metal with my mind. Yes, of course. We can't leave that behind.

Oh, are you trying right now? Uh-huh. Looks like you're gonna hurt yourself and then this goes down oh it's scary yeah all that effort for just this to go down just the plug to like close um let's see what what do you value most in a friendship i would say What what do you value most in a friendship? I would say Feeling like So comfortable with someone that you don't have to like

try I agree, and maybe not maybe tries out the right word, but just like so comfortable that it's like I don't have to fake it or like put up any like walls or pretenses and there's like a second language there so it feels easy and like familiar that's that's what i value in a friendship i would like to have that oh damn do you not think that we have that no i want the answer are you kidding oh get the fuck out of here are you kidding me i thought you were like you dumb ass motherfucker are you kidding me i thought you were being mean and saying wow sounds nice don't have that no okay i would like to take that answer for myself because it is nice to not have to put on any airs or act like a different fucking person

or try hard to make them like you. Well great, I'm really glad you liked my answer. My eye is watering. I'm mouth on thing. If I was like, I don't even think I'm like crying. That's why I was like my eyes, it is watering. You crying. Sobbing over here just out of one eye.

It's when you're trying to move metal. I moved this metal, but it was with my hands. I played with a paper clip. Yeah. Okay. If you were going to become a close friend. Wait. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner,

please share what would be important for him or her to know. What? I feel like you should already be a close friend with your partner. I also feel that way. If you are going to become a close friend with your partner. to become a close friend. Arthur. With your partner. I mean, maybe another way of looking at this question

is like what you want them to know beforehand. If they're your partner and your friend, what do you need them to know to be able to be the best partner to you? But also wasn't this made for people who weren't in partnerships? Like weren't there a bunch of single people who were like, let's do this and fall in love?

So I think that's the phrasing also. Okay, so like, we're not partners. Yes. Okay. Okay. They would need to know that Nicole and I have a very strong relationship. And it might look different than other friendships. And that's a very important relationship.

And they have to know that, like, I have many, not many, two. I have two important relationships in my life. And understand that yes i take that too uh because i have dated people who were like i can't remember how they phrased this but i was like well so sure we'll always be number one and they were like so i what and i didn't try to walk it back i was like yes i mean she'll always come before you we're not dating anymore yeah i think um sometimes people get in partnerships and they assume that friends are now secondary to their partner and they're like my romantic relationship is the most important relationship i have in my life so i'll see my friends later and they kind of like take them

for granted um but i don't want to do that and i don't we don't want to do that. And I don't, we don't want to do that. And, and I'm sure there's many other people who do that too, but I think it might be, uh, a little, there's a learning curve for people who don't have relationships like that, who are not used to like strong bonds and friendships like that, where they're like, oh, okay, I guess I have to consider this other person. They come along with the package. No, no, i'll never leave please don't what did i say to you the other day if i ever miss a flight i have passed why did i say that

um why did you say that all the time what a wild i know oh i said if i don't text you before missing a flight consider me passed away i was like i don't want the cast dress is it my turn to talk yes if you were i got the tough ones to say. If you were going to, oh wait, we already did that one. No, so it's your turn to speak. Oh, okay. Tell your partner what you like about them. Be very honest this, be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you've just met.

I like how touchy feely you are, even though I'm not touchy feely. Um, it makes me feel loved. Even if I recoil or like scream scream it's not in jest i really don't like it but even if i push you away scream at you say don't do that i do like it i do uh because it's one of those things where it's like i'm not a touchy-feely person but it's one of those things where it's like, I'm not a touchy feely person, but it's nice that you're expressing yourself. And I always want you to be able to like express yourself in any way. Just like when you shut down when you're hungry,

I like really appreciate that you're like, I shan't try to do anything, but figure out where food comes from. And I like that you feel comfortable enough to do that because I feel like some people be like, no, I'm fine. And you're like, I'm not fine, actually. I need food.

And I'm like, get her a hot dog. Yeah, I don't think I would say that to someone I just met. Yeah, thank you. I like that you wait till i'm ready to do things like remember when we were on mushrooms new year's eve and i was like show me your boobs i'll never forget it that i showed you my boobs and we were a mixed company we really were

we really were but i've been begging to see those titties for years and you're like no but then one new year's eve hopped up on mushrooms and champ and six balls of champagne cleaning up i was like what have we done also we all forgot we ate mushrooms and we were like, ha! We're like, why are we having so much fun? Like, I remember going upstairs screaming things at you and everyone was like, ha, ha, ha. And I was like, I've never been funnier. That was really funny. That was a nice New Year's Eve.

It was great. Yeah. I love how thoughtful you are. Because are because you'll like send me little gifts when you think about me or if you kind of cross something and not even for like like celebratory things not even for like my birthday it'd just be like a random like i thought of you here you go and i'm like it's very sweet and considerate and yeah and also you've just always like you're very um uh thoughtful when it comes to like my emotional well-being like sometimes i'll be like venting about something or ranting about something and you'll be like well do you think you need to like

take time to think about that? Or like, let's ask a question. Kind of like over this weekend. You're really good at asking questions that like stump people. I asked a question and everyone was like. And I was like, God. Yeah. Yeah.

It was just like, you know, we were like drinking and partying. And someone was like, I need a drink. And you were like, well, why? And we're all like, whoa whoa why do you need to drink well i got to an age where an age i'm at this current age where i was like oh it was in cabo like i was hung over one of the days i was there and i was like i don't want to be hung over on vacation so at this point drinking will just cause me to have a hangover i alcohol affects me differently so like i blacked out one night and no one knew i was blacked out except for one person who was like yeah nicole you were bad and i was like oh also i was sitting in sand it's a long story um the chairs were in it was a restaurant

i don't know if you've ever blacked out at a restaurant in sand, but it wasn't fun. It was hard to navigate. I was like, how are we walking? But then I didn't feel great the next day. And I was like, yeah, I don't want to be hung over on vacation. And like those last three drinks, same thing happened in Amsterdam where I was like a little like, I was like those last two drinks. I didn't need them. Why am I drinking?

Yeah. Is it because i'm like party or am i trying to fill a hole stay home so i was like when i get to the point where i'm like rowdy and i'm like yeah i'm like hey why are we doing this yeah i like that yeah yeah but yeah you're good at assessing and asking questions that um you know, make me think. And I appreciate that. Hey, thanks. I don't think anyone saw that coming.

Nicole makes you think. You do. And you make me giggle. And do stuff I don't, like, want to do all the time. But then I do it and I'm like, yeah, that's fine. Yeah, I'm glad. Except for that one time I made you walk through a little mini waterfall at a pool. You didn't like that at all.

I didn't. But we went down a slidey like that. I did like that, yeah. You said I won't do it again, but I liked it. Yeah, yeah. I didn't regret it. But the waterfall, I was like, oh, so much water hit my head. Mm-hmm.

It wasn't relaxing or refreshing. Oh, boy, I remember that day. It almost ended with ice cream. I'm so sorry it didn't that happened again on this trip we went on we went to we went to lunch and i was promised soft serve yeah i don't understand what it is about those machines we're in the year 2023 why can't we build a soft serve machine that doesn't break i don't know i am not the person to answer this i have no clue i couldn't possibly it's too soft

i i don't know i don't know it's really like debilitating for me. I get so excited. So it's like, again, like I feel things really hard. So like truly when I was like, guys, I've never been more excited. I was so excited because I've been yearning for soft serve. Yeah. Not fro-yo, not magpies, which I like, real, like just soft serve. And then I got there and I was like

I would like a children's hamburger French and he said it's broken and I went oh anyone I'm sorry I was like okay it was such a high and such a low yeah cuz like to say what you want and you're gonna get it yeah I know I know that feeling and then you don't get it. And it happens almost every time you order it. Yeah. You know what? If you could move metal, you could fix those soft serve machines.

I could. I could. Yeah. That is my power. Yes. Just with my mind. And then I do it for myself and I go, I don't fucking need you. That'll be $300 cash.

You're getting paid because you fix the machine? Yeah, you'd have to pay a technician. But you got to wait on a technician. Yeah, you're just already there. I'm here. I happen to be a customer. I wonder if Magneto has done that. Fix the soft serve machine?

Yeah, nerds. Has it happened in a comic book? I wonder if Magneto has done that. Fix the soft serve machine? Yeah. Nerds. Has it happened in a comic book? He takes a break from fighting the X-Men to fix the soft serve machine. I need to cool off. Oh, boy. All this fighting. I need something. A cool treat.

Hmm. We did it. Are we in love? I do feel more in love with you. I also feel more in love with you. Yeah. Wait, we do our outro now? No, now we do some questions. Out of order, Judith.

I'm sorry. It's a separate thing. Oh, my God. my god oh my god i can set one up for you guys to listen to yeah oh yeah hi nicole and sashir um i'm currently sitting in an in-out parking lot in sunny phoenix arizona and i'm sitting with my ac off so you get that good sound quality and i'm sweating my ass off so i I turned 21 in three weeks, August 15th, Leo baby. And my friends and I have been kind of planning to go to San Diego. I got this really great, really cheap little holiday in, in Solana beach. It's like, it's like one 80 a person for like the four the four or five days we're going to go.

Real cheap. We're just going to get stoned at the beach. And we're all going to drink together for the first time and go to some gay bars. And, I mean, it's a really solid, good plan. And I've been like, hey, guys, I've planned everything. I got, like, we're going hiking. I know the trails. I got a fucking, we're going to look at some whales. I bought the ticket. Like, I have everything ready to go. And I've been kind of asking people to

just book the hotel, give me money so I can book the hotel. That's the problem. It's like 800 bucks total. I don't have that. I'm like 20, you know, I, oh my God, sorry. So I'm asking them to all of them on me. And I put it in the group chat like five times i'm like hey guys this is a hotel we got a little balcony it's really cute uh can we all like get on like a call and like book it tonight together or can you just venmo me and i'll book it and it's crickets and i've been asking i've asked maybe five times over two weeks and it's getting to the point where i'm getting really frustrated and i called my closest friend And I've been asking, I've asked maybe five times over two weeks. And it's getting to the point where I'm getting really frustrated. And I called my closest friend in our friend group.

I was like, hey, I just feel like I hate feeling like a broken record. I hate asking you guys to give me money. And it's really frustrating because I just want to celebrate my birthday. So I guess my question is, I'm kind of like, should I just go by myself? Because there has been no mention, no one's asking about this trip. It's not really like in the zeitgeist of the group. And so I'm just like, do I just say, fuck it, do a little, maybe I get myself a little cheap little motel in the mountains and I just kind of chill by myself or maybe I just do a little

staycation, should I just do something by myself or should I bring it up with them and say like, hey what the fuck, you know we've been friends since high school I mean like since middle school, really and I just feel like I feel really pushed aside

and it's a really important birthday. Thanks for listening. Love everybody. Everyone all over the world. God bless. No, I'm not Christian. Alright, bye. Turning 21. 21-year-old sucks.

That young? You flaky. I will say, I'm terrible at planning. I plan nothing. I just went traveling for three weeks, four weeks. I plan nothing. Yeah, that's pretty cool. It was great.

Yeah. And I, with the flights, I made Mano come. This is something he did not have to do. He is fully capable. I am not capable. I fuck up. I told everyone I was back from our trip on the 17th. I was not back.

I was on the 16th. I came back. Somehow bought the correct flight, but told everyone I was back the 17th. Don't know how that happened. She dumb. But sometimes getting together makes things easier

because everyone's in one place and you can go, here's what I booked. Can you Venmo me now? And I can look you in the eye and go, are you doing it? Do it right now. Yeah.

And like Mano could look me in the eye and go, did you buy the ticket or did you switch browsers? And I'd be like, I'm sorry. I switched the browser. It's timed out. I got to start over. I don't know why anyone hangs out with me.

So there's that. Also, I'm curious to hear what your closest friend said when you called me about it. I know. They launched, they're about to start a different thing, but then diverted. Yeah, I wonder what the closest friend was saying. Yeah, I think that's

one. But it's also if you've mentioned it five times in two weeks, maybe it is give up the ghost and go by yourself or invite one of those friends. Maybe your closest friend and see if they want to do it with you. You could do a little doubles trip. What do you think? Well, they are 21 and I also wonder

if it's a money thing and no one wants to say it because what money do they have i don't have no money then so it's like okay yeah it's a hundred something for the hotel each but also how are they getting there like it's like they're driving and that's gas money or are they flying there that's like money for a plane ticket like and then like restaurants bars like that's all a lot of money yeah our friend said it was 800 all in oh wait for that wait is it 800 total for the hotel but it's one something oh 180 yeah per person it's like yeah but then there's other expenses too so it's possible

no one knows what no one knows how to say i love you but i don't know if i can make this kind of trip yeah which you know is something that they should just say but also they're 21 and probably have never had to do confrontational stuff ever in their life um so maybe you could text the group and pose it more as a question like, hey, are people still feeling this trip or should we do something more local this time and then like later. Also I think, because I think that's great, but also it's like, I'm excited to celebrate with you. Yeah.

So should we do something local? Should I just do a bar night or a beach night? I don't know where they live. Yeah, Phoenix. Arizona. Yes. Is there a beach? I don't think so i get it yeah desert let's let's get in the cactus let's get in the cactus see if it bites us yeah yeah i like that

emphasize like i would like to celebrate with you so that there's no like pressure of like if we don't do this trip, that's a disappointment to me. So then maybe they would respond and be like, oh, well, yeah, I would actually love it if we go to this bar or something more local that I can, that's attainable to me. And then our friend who called in can just take that trip whenever they want to take the trip.

Or definitely talk to a closer group of friends with a couple people and figure that out. But it might be too ambitious for a group of 21 year olds i will say traveling with one or two people so much easier than traveling with a group of people it really is um i feel like groups yeah it's like go to one house and you stay there whereas like two or three people can like bounce around, have a nice time. Yeah. It's easier to get dinner reservations.

It's just like easier to keep track of people. Less opinions on activities. Yeah. Cause I don't want to hear shit about what I want to do. Okay. Okay. I'm going to get in the hot tub. Shut up.

Okay. Solved. Solved. Okay. Email number one. Hey, Nicole, Sashir, Kimmy, Jordan, and Judith. First of all, y'all are wonderful humans. And Wednesday is my favorite day of the week because of your pod.

My dilemma is I have a close group of friends who are very active and like to go out and do fun things and take awesome trips. Sounds great, right? It is. But over the past two years, I've developed a physical disability that has made walking and standing difficult. I've recently started using mobility aids like canes and braces to help. And this is a really big step for me. My friends know what's going on and are very supportive. And they've been really good about always inviting me to their events. The thing is, the activities they always pick are typically very active, like bar crawling, skiing, amusement parks, just to name a few examples.

And I usually don't go. I know it's not intentional, but I sometimes feel excluded due to the inaccessibility of these activities. So I guess my question is, should I talk to my friends about this or am I making too big a deal out of nothing? And do you have any suggestions for fun activities that I could suggest we do that don't involve a lot of physical movement

amusement parks you can ask if they have a wheelchair um skiing probably a little harder to access but you can also you can ask if they have a mobility thing. There's also ski mobiles. That's a sitting thing. Snow mobiles. What did I say? Ski mobiles? I don't spend time in the snow.

But yeah, a ski mobile might be a fun thing to do with a friend. I think it's one of those things where it's finding adjustments. Like in pole dancing, I can't necessarily do everything that people can do, but I can find an adjustment. So I kind of get there. Yeah. So I'm like in the same realm.

But yeah, I think it's the activity. I know it's like annoying to get creative to be like, how can I participate in it? But that's also kind of fun. Yeah, I don't ski, but I have been invited to ski and people will be like, well, part of the best part of skiing is hanging out by the fire and drinking hot cocoa. And I'm like, it's not the skiing. But I think they're just saying that to like,

bring more people with them. So it's like, you know, they could ski during the day and I'm sure not everyone in your group is an expert ski skier so like some people will probably hang out with you in the lodge or whatever or like do other activities um so maybe instead of saying a flat no whenever they offer something that seems like it's it requires mobility ask is there a way that we can check to see if there's like an accessible way for me to enjoy this and then whoever pitched it would i would guess if they're your friend would probably be happy to look into it yeah and be like oh i

didn't think about that let me check and then and then that just also puts it more in their brain of like oh i was just pitching a fun thing that I would like to do. Now I need to consider your needs. Let's either consider your needs like while we look into these activities or I'm going to do a better job of actually thinking of things that you can do. So, yeah. Well, if it comes up and it's like, oh, this seems like it might be something I can't do. Ask and be like, well, let's see. Is there a way I can do this?

Maybe there is. And then if there isn't. Let's see what activities that you could do. Swim club. A swim club. Yeah. Have your friends come swimming at like a public pool or something. Yeah.

On Wednesdays at three. Do you want to go swimming at three three and once i really like swimming at three because the sun has moved okay it's not directly overhead oh nice okay um book club a book club is great reading books books are back baby uh movies movie club movie club just watch collateral oh we wait oh whoa i don't even want to i don't even want to get into what happened inside my brain oh i know you went i also just watched collateral and i'll have everyone in this room know we watched it together. And that's why I'm thankful that sometimes that happens to you. Because that is my brain 82% of the day.

Yeah. Where I'm like, whoa. And they're like, I was with you. And I'm like, oh, okay. Or I say something like, that's not true. No, okay. Okay, good. This is say something like, that's not true. No, okay. Okay, good. This is really fun to watch happen.

I was like, whoa, that's so crazy. You said, whoa, and I knew exactly what you were going to say. I just watched it, too. I'd be like, yeah, man. I was there. I was right there. Well, I was also, like, not in the same row as you. So maybe because I wasn't looking at you.

in the same row as you so maybe because i wasn't looking at you although before bed i said i would give everything up in my life to become tom cruise's next wife yeah we did have follow-up questions and conversations after the movie you can start a movie club and watch all of tom cruise's films i think i might start what did i say after the movie i clapped and went he's the actor of our generation you did you did you want to pledge your allegiance to tom cruise he's so good have you seen collateral it is a great movie from 2004 maybe i don't know but he plays the villain he's yeah this is like one of the few instances where he's a villain and there's this one shot where he jumps on a train and he looks deranged and i was like take me over whoo we jump this train oh my god yeah does it for me it was really good um but yeah movie club let's see what other thing because i do a lot of stuff sitting. Restaurants.

You could do like a monthly new restaurant. Flea markets, maybe? Like I guess we don't know this person's situation. We don't know if they're like in a wheelchair or crutches. I think they said they... It's made walking... Canes and braces. Okay.

And if you need to sit sometimes, it's made canes and braces okay um and if you need to sit sometimes they do make little canes with little seats that fold out oh nice

yeah and walkers with like seats on them but most like a cane I think would be probably cool um

but yeah it's uh finding those things that are helpful for you and being open and honest and being like, I gotta stop for a couple seconds.

Nobody's gonna fault you for that. Yeah. If I ever go on a hike, if I ever go on a hike, I always say, keep going, I'll get there. Don't you dare turn around and wait for me. That doesn't make me feel good. Slow your fucking pace or go. Keep up with me or leave me alone.

And if I don't talk, I'm trying to breathe, okay? And that is great energy to have on a hike. That's what I say if I ever. I've been on two hikes in my whole life. If I ever go on a hike. Don't you dare. The worst. Someone racing ahead of you and turning around.

You waiting on me? You invited me up here. You can wait. What? Is the view going somewhere? I hate hiking. I'll never get it. So yeah, you don't have to go on hikes.

Those are too hard. I feel you on that plays plays live performances uh if you like sports maybe a weird sport yeah pickleball it's the fastest growing sport in america you could have one of them i went to a roller derby match for the first time not that it's a weird sport but it's not like a conventional like you know baseball it's wild super violent yeah but it's really fun um do you ever get do you guys have seditions beach going to the beach would be nice yeah if you're on a resort a lazy river just like just floating yeah well just like you guys did you could do a wine tasting yeah you're not you're not moving a ton yeah unless you're doing like a wine and hike which that's obscene no yeah that first

tasting we went to i sat down never got up again no yeah all the wine just came to us that was great they had to pick me up to get me on the plane. Also to go back to your amusement park one, I think that they are a perfect person to go to the amusement park with because you go to the front of the line if you have a disability or a wheelchair, like your friends should be like, let's go. That's awesome.

Yeah, now you're the queen. Yes. Eddie Griffin. Yeah. There's a great joke about that. Who does? Eddie Griffin. Do you That's a great joke about that. Who does? Eddie Griffin. Do you know that comment?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's about showing your full face on like a dating profile. He's like, if you're in a wheelchair, show me you're in a wheelchair. Cause guess what? We're going to an amusement park. Oh, I love that.

It's a great bit. But yeah, you are now valuable to friends. No, that's terrible. That's a terrible way to phrase that. Well, ideally you've always been valuable. Yes. But even more incentive for them to bring you to this trip. But I will say, I want this person to know that your physical disability does not limit you.

Yeah. You just have to get more creative, which I think is better than being boring and basing and being able to just do things without thoughts. Have thoughts. Have some thoughts. Yeah. Yeah. But yes, i guess to answer their general question you should bring it up it doesn't have to be like a serious like hey guys

can we think about me kind of like you know confrontation but like it can just be like oh i would love to do this thing can we figure out how i can or can we ask ahead of time like is it would i be able to do this and then then i think your friends would would hopefully be happy to help figure this out like the skiing thing i think is a perfect example if it's like let's go skiing you'd be like hey is anyone not gonna go skiing yeah or if everyone skis during the day time to get ahead on book club yeah ahead on the book club Yeah. A head on a boot club. Yeah, you can read.

And then there's probably a hot tub somewhere. Yes. You know? Yes. Hot cocoa. Heat up while they cool. Damn. On the slopes.

If you need a slogan, I will write it. It'll be good and you'll be happy. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Solved. Solved. write it it'll be good you'll be happy yeah solved thanks for writing us people and if you want to write us we have an email address it's nicole and sashira gmail.com we also have a phone number that we can have voicemails calls messages 424-645-7003 we We also have, she'll never find that paper. She'll never find it. I guess I'll have to do the whole outro myself. We also have Merchantpodswhite.com,

slash best friends, we also have transfers for new episodes, check them out on our show page. And you're welcome to- Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe. This is the easiest way to support this show. Also check out the clip from, oh wait, I'll say this better. Also check out the-

Someone's gonna be like, are they okay? The answer is no. Also check out a clip from the 300th episode of Why Won't You Date Me? If you like it, check out the full episode everywhere you get podcasts. Yours, bye. Yours?

I missed yours and I added it at the end and I didn't think anyone would notice. That you were all of a sudden talking like Yoda. Podcast yours. Yours. And watch my special. Yeah. Go to 800poundgorilla.com

and you can purchase it there. And then on the 29th, you can watch it for free on YouTube. Yes. On the 26th, I'm at the casino. Wow. Tell them a little bit more.

I'm doing stand-up at the Cosmopolitan, at the Chelsea and Cosmopolitan in Las Vegas. I will maybe not be this unhinged, but I will be funny. Yeah. Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo-hoo!

Bye! Okay, so do I have any favorite moments from the podcast yes it's with you it's when we flew all the way down to arizona arizona yeah to meet a man who had called into best friends and i called my agent and i said you need to set up a show for me to do a live episode. I don't know why I didn't do stand up. Oh, because I wanted him to come on. Yeah, because he I don't even know what question he asked on Best Friends. But we were like, we like this voice. Yes.

And we looked him up. Yeah. And then he wrote erotic fiction. He did. Yeah. Yeah. And we emailed back and forth. We were like texting.

Yeah. And I think I was like, just do a segment. Like, just come on and just, and we emailed back and forth. We were like texting. Yeah. And I think I was like, just do a segment. Like, just come on and just talk and we can whatever. And then he was like, I don't know, I'm scared. I was like, you don't have to. What if we just meet? And I set up a show.

And then he was like, okay. And then he canceled on me. And then I didn't get to see him. But I did offer women vibrators that I then had to fill. That was really funny i guess because then you were like you know preaching how great this vibrator was tracy's dog tracy's dog and then you're like i'll give everyone in the audience a vibrator and everyone's like whoa and then i remember you being like oh i didn't anticipate how many people would reach out about every single

person who was at that show asked for a vibrator. And then I kept getting locked out of my Amazon account because they were like, this has to be fraud. Yes, yeah. You're buying one at a time vibrators and they're going to so many different addresses. But buying one at a time and like multiple times because my friend Eleanor was helping me.

So I would buy one, she would buy one. And it was just like, what? So finally, a lady on Twitter was like, I know someone at the company who can help fulfill the orders. And then they did it. And I was like, phew, this was bad. Yeah. But great intentions. And you've given the gift of orgasms to so many people.

You know, I'm trying. If those who can't... Teach? Teach? That's not it either. Those who can't give? Give? I don't know.

Okay, did I ever expect this podcast to last 300 episodes? Also, I can ask these questions so you're not asking yourself questions. Oh, that would make for a nice back and forth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, do you have a question for me? I do. I do.

Nicole, did you ever think that this podcast would reach 300 episodes? Sure didn't. Yeah. Or maybe, I don't know, sometimes I'm pretty short-sighted with things. I guess I was like, I'll do this until I don't want to. And I've had a lot of fun. Yeah. I've interviewed, like, I'll do this until I don't want to. And I've had a lot of fun. Yeah.

I've interviewed, like, the coolest part about it is I went and saw the Tina Turner musical and then I was like, I want to talk to her. And then I was like,

Mars, I want to talk to her. And then the next week I was talking to her. Yeah. It's very fucking cool. Yeah. Violet Davis is next.

I want to talk to that lady. She's cool. She's cool. I love her. I think it could happen. Do you think? I think so. Yeah. I don't know what she would

I'm just dying to know any of her stories right and I need to finish her book I started it I'm in the childhood phase but I want to get to the college phase because I'm very interested to hear about what her life was like because I think she went to Yale I want to know what that was like what was Yale

like and didn't she oh maybe I'm thinking of Angela Bassett I was going to say didn't she went to Yale. Yeah. I want to know what that was like. What was Yale like? And didn't she? Oh, maybe I'm thinking of Angela Bassett. I was going to say, didn't she go to school at the same time as another actor? But I think Angela Bassett and Denzel

at the same time. Maybe. I'd also like Angela Bassett. Absolutely. God, she's so beautiful and talented. Oh, those arms.

Oh. Do you think this podcast has helped your dating life no not at all simply no uh absolutely not truly maybe has hindered it oh really how um just sometimes i'll meet people who be like i don't talk about me on your podcast um but then also i the person i dated for a while was like don't talk about me on the podcast. Also, don't talk about me in your stand up. Also, don't ever mention me to a friend.

They were a very private person. And that was a very hard thing to understand because I have no secrets. Not nary a one. Yeah. It's hard for you to keep a tight lip on things. Yeah. We've talked about it on the podcast. We talked about it a lot this weekend, how I can't murder.

Because I would hop on this podcast and be like, guys, I did a thing. I murdered! And then some listener would be like, I'm going to call the police. Everyone would be like, Diva, get it! We have very distinct details about someone's murder she told us step by step what happened and where it is oh boy yeah yeah i went on one date with a guy i know i talked about this but he was like i don't know who you are i have seen you on conan my roommates listen to you don't talk about me on your podcast and then he was so poorly behaved i was like my must like just don't be a fool yeah and i won't talk about you don't be bad just be normal