Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Nicole’s Ice Cream Escapades

Episode Date: March 4, 2026

Nicole and Sasheer take a deep dive into Nicole’s latest passion - making her own ice cream at home! Our favorite best friends also discuss the evergreen hotness of Joe Pesci, Spider-Man’s goop and where it comes from, as well as Sasheer’s thoughtful gift for safekeeping Nicole’s extracted tooth. Watch this full video on YouTube and follow below!Follow Nicole: Twitter, Instagram, TikTokFollow Sasheer: Instagram, TikTokLike the show? Rate Best Friends 5 stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts!Have a friendship question for Nicole and Sasheer to solve? Leave us a voicemail at [phone]‬ or write in at [e-mail] Friends is a production of Headgum Studios. Our producer is Allie Kahan. Our executive producer is Anya Kanevskaya. The show is edited, mixed, and engineered by Richelle Chen.This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Best Friends via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. Hello, Sashir. Hello, Nicole. How are you? I'm bleeding so much. You're on your period? I'm on my period. I'm sorry.

Thank you so much. It is a little bit of a win, though, because not pregnant. But I didn't know it was coming. And usually I feel it coming a while away because it's painful and my body feels weird, etc. It just popped up yesterday. And I was like, oh, and I was like, oh, look at that. It's like, and today it's like heavy, and so I can feel it, but it's not like, you know, outchy, outchy. So, wait, is it a good thing that it came out of nowhere or a bad thing?

It's a good thing. It didn't actually come out of nowhere. It's right on time. But I had no idea because usually, like, I break out, I get cramps, I'm bloated, I'm farting. Like, there's like all these signs. It's like, well, my period's coming. I'm like cranky. And I was just like living my life, having a great time, actually.

And then my period started. I was like, oh, well, look at that. That's pretty nice. I would like some of that because mine's coming. And boy, oh, boy, have I been a bitch? Just the maddest over nothing. Yeah. That nice man in my life, we were falling asleep.

And I said, I'm not tired. And then I was like, da-g-g-g-g-g-g-d-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h. And he said, I need you to respect that I'm trying to... No, I need you to respect that I'm actively trying to fall asleep. And I was like, respect. Oh, you mother. And I stood for so long before falling asleep. Yeah. I woke up and I was like, respect that you're in. And then I was like, wait, let me check the little period out.

And I was like, oh, it's nine days away. I am just angry. Yeah. It's crazy. It's crazy. It sucks. Yeah, I wish it didn't affect everything so much. Yes.

But it really does. Yeah, I don't have achy boobies, though. That's good. And that's, I don't even know what- Akey boobies feel like. I don't know what achy boobies feel like. I haven't had achy boobies in a long time. But, yeah, there was a time where I was like, damn,

like my back would hurt, my boobs would hurt, my butt. There was a period when my butt was hurting. Your butt? Yeah. Like the cheeks. The cheeks? Wait, that's wild. I know. Like, ow, my butt hurts.

My back currently hurts because I've been trying to do a handstand. Oh, nice. And with the pull. And I would like kick up and then be in the handstand. But because I'm trying to like do this move that this lady I saw on the internet did. So you're like in a downward dog kind of and then kick up. And I didn't realize that your hands need to be like, your shoulders need to be like square in line with your head. But mine were a little.

ahead. And then to overcompensate, I like arched my back a little. And I was like, huh, I don't think that's good. The butt is too heavy for that to be good. Yeah. So my back hurts a little bit, but it has nothing to do with my period and everything to do with I want to be a bendy bitch. Be a bendy bitch. That's all I want to be. I have this thing that I don't really use, but I bought it because the internet told me to buy it. And it's like, Hmm, how I describe it? It's like you, it's like a box kind of that you put on the ground and has a hole for your head. Oh, yeah.

Have I showed you this thing? No, but it's like it assists you with handstands and headstands. Yes. So like you basically, it props you up on your shoulders and then you can like raise the rest of your body up in the air. And then I guess get more comfortable with that feeling and then also like engage your core. You can lift your legs and like spread your legs and like move around and stuff like that and like work on your core stuff. And then hopefully eventually you can like do it without that stand. If you want to borrow it, you can have, I can bring it to you.

The only thing about borrowing something like that is I don't know when you'll ever get it back. I will see you again though. And also, again, I just told you I don't use it. So I don't need it back. Fair. Yeah, maybe I will take it. Yeah. But I'm like, I guess I could put it against the pole.

But I also do headstands where your head is like that and you're grabbing onto the pole. And then those are good for my shoulders. But is this like a full handstand. This is not even for a handstand or a headstand. It really is just like to get you upside down. Upside down. I see. Yeah.

So like once you're in it, nothing's touching the ground. Like my head's not on the ground. My hands are on the ground. My shoulders are on this contraption. and my rest of my body is up in the air. And where are your hands? I guess they could also be in the air, on the side, or holding the thing. Oh, okay.

That was really tough for me to understand. Yeah, and it's tough to describe. I had poll on Sunday, and I worked out today. These people believe in me too fucking much. You're an athlete. I'm tired and tuckered. And Veronica and Pol had me doing these, like, crazy get-em-ups and twisty turnies. And she's like, pull like this.

And I was like, I don't know if my body pulls like that. And then today, Ben was like lift this much. And I was like, what the fuck? And it was so much. And now I've got these like hand straps to help me. I'm so tired. But this is good. Yeah, because I do really want to be strong.

Yeah. Because I saw a video recently of this old lady who was like, I worked out in my youth not to keep up with the grandkids. But so I could keep walking normally in my old age. Wow. And I was like, whoa. And then she was doing things like tying her shoes. She was like, this isn't hard for me.

I was like, whoa, whoa. I guess, yeah, like strength training keeps you nimble for when you get fucking old as hell. And also, like, strengthens your bones. so like less likelihood of you breaking them if you fall and you're old. Yeah. Speaking of bones and calcium, that reminds me of milk. I now am the proud owner of a ninja creamy. I don't know what that is.

I'm not told you about the ninja creamy. I don't think so. Oh, you've been out of town. Yeah. And the ninja creamy is not a text conversation. I'm so glad you say different person. Okay. So I think I talked about this on a different podcast, but who's,

Who cares? Who cares? I love the Ninja Creamy. So I originally bought a Ninja Creamy, which is a, it's like an instant ice cream maker. Okay. You lock it up, send it up, and then it makes you ice cream in like five minutes, not even, like three minutes. Wow. And I bought it years ago, unwrapped it and was like, ha, man, I think I'm going to have to look at the directions or something. So I put it back in the packaging and sent it back because I was like, I can't be reading. I'd rather not have ice cream in my home than read. I just found it so deeply overwhelming. I was like, simply can't. Yeah. But then I made a promise to myself, I'm trying not to buy brand new things. So I went on Facebook Marketplace, drove to East Pasadena, to a house with no electricity,

and a man who came out of the backyard, he didn't use the door and handed me off a ninja creamy. Interesting. And unboxed it. Some of it was already unwrapped. Some of the work was done for me. Nice. And now I have ice cream almost every night. Oh my goodness.

And it comes out cold? Okay. So here is the caveat. Okay. You can't just like concoct it together and have ice cream. You have to make the base the night before because it has to be frozen for 16 to 24 hours or more. Mm-hmm. Just depends.

Uh-huh. And then the next day. you lock it up in the creamy and then it like you go doop and it locks in and then it goes and then creamy technology creamifies it according to the creamy technology

it's creamified yes and it's so fun and do you get to flavor it so shishire you can make any ice cream you want what have you made okay so I made

do you remember strawberry milk Nesquick yeah so I was at a food for less. I love food for less. The price is... They're less? They're less.

The food is for less. And then very few things were locked up so I didn't feel like a fucking criminal. That's really nice. And I didn't steal anything because I was like, you're treating me nice. You're treating me nice. There was no self-checkout.

There was somebody there. I said, I love a food for less. Wow. So I found Nesquick in there. Yeah. So I made a, I guess, strawberry milk one. I made it was a vanilla base

with peanut butter, chocolate sauce, and Reese's peanut butter cups. Whoa. And I learned the creamy technology will creamify anything hard, real, it'll like really make it smooth. So it made the Reese's peanut butter cups a little

too smooth for me. You want chunks? I want it chunks. So I'm like, I'm living and learning with the creamy. She's learning. Yeah. It's a Ninja creamy. Oh. So then I made, last night I had, I guess, like a chocolate pudding, if you will. Yeah.

So it was like a vanilla base and then cocoa powder. Mmm. I'm loving this. Coco powder is nice. Yeah. I didn't know how nice it was. I saw. I'm not done.

And last night, I made a Diet Dr. Pepper base. Ooh. Look at her! Okay, what were you going to say? I saw on the internet that you could make your own pudding at home with eggs and cocoa powder. And maybe that's it. Maybe something else. But you just like blend up boiled eggs and then add the cocoa powder.

And there's probably more stuff to it too. And blend up boiled eggs. Which sounds bad. And people in the comments were like, I tried this and it smells. It smells like boiled eggs. I'm sure it does. But they're like, it tastes good, but it smells like eggs. I don't know if I trust internet people sometimes.

Because people keep trying to get me to eat cottage cheese blended up. Cottage cheese is nasty. Ugh. Yeah. Oh, you can also add your fruit journey to this ice cream journey and make fruit ice creams. like with berries or I don't know other cool fruits that you find I guess I could

that might be nice I now have a juicer Wow not a juicer you think it's not like I plug it in and juice it it's an old school juicer Like one of those like presses

no so it's a it looks like a witch's hat there's a brim and then there's a thing and then you put the thing on it and you do that. And then it juices it. Well, you get a lot of juice.

Oh, you're manually turning it. Okay. Nice. Yeah. But you don't have to really turn it that much. It's crazy. The witch's hat does all the work. It's magic.

It's crazy. I stole a palm olive. Palmolov? I don't know. It looked like a grapefruit, but it definitely was not a grapefruit. Yeah. Well, I didn't steal it. I took it from the community.

community garden, which is some neighbor's backyard. And they're private property. Yeah, I reached over a fence that I took it from the community garden. Yes. And juiced it up, and it was great. Oh, nice. And then I think also got cum quads. Those are tart.

Yeah. I was from a different community garden. Those were the tiny things? Mm-hmm. Yeah. And apparently, Tess, our friend Tessa, you could just pop them in your mouth. And I was like, I can't get past this.

Rhine-looking thing. Yeah. Did you cut it up? Or you just putting it up. Yeah. And you're supposed to just put them in your... Like, there isn't very much in them. So it's like, I cut it up and was like...

There's not much to actually. Hmm. Yay. Mm-hmm. Yeah, but honestly, Facebook Marketplace. They got the stuff? They really do. They have everything you ever wanted.

I got this Ninja Creamy for $50 less than I would knew. That's nice. That is nice And it works fine All I had to do is drive for 30 minutes Yeah That's not bad No

She saved I saved Oh my god Oh my goodness And I'm like what else can I get I don't think I need anything else I okay So I was gonna get

The newest ninja creamy Yeah Which also makes soft serve But then I was like If I have soft serve in my house Is it a treat Or a chore? What's the other option?

Oh, there wasn't one. I just meant if it's like readily accessible, it's no longer really a treat. I guess it's a treat depending on how often you have it. Like if you have it every day, probably not a treat because it's like this routine now. Every week, maybe a treat? Yeah, you could have a tree a week. That's up to you. Yeah, I guess it is up to me.

But do you, is part of the treat aspect of it like getting it in the wild? Yes. I do love getting it in the wild. I have one of my summer dreams is there's a foster's freeze near May. It's, I think, a mile and a half away, if that. One of my summer dreams is walking there with Clyde, getting some soft serve, licking it all the way back to my house, and then hanging out. Yeah.

But I've never done it because I'm like, oh, no, it's too hot. You should do it. Do it a day is not too hot. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then I just, there's like the act of getting in the car to get the soft serve.

Yeah. And being like, soft serve, soft serve. And like getting excited. And I guess I get excited about my creamy. Right now I go, creamy, creamy, creamy, everybody everywhere. Creamy, creamy. And I clap every time it's done. Wow.

Yeah. You need to have to have the adventure. You can't take that way from myself. No. I ate the, I guess it was like a chocolate brownie one. I was supposed to put brownies in it, but I didn't. I ate that as I watched. Rewatch Spider-Man 1.

Nice. I love Spider-Man 1. Toby McGuire is so perfectly cast as Spider-Man. Yeah, I agree. Oh, my God. Those are good movies. They really are. Sam Ramey?

Yeah. Really knew what he was doing. It's true. But then I found out that canonical Am I saying that word right? Canonically? Yeah. Spider-Man doesn't make the goop.

Right. He makes it outside of himself. Which they did joke about in the multiverse one. Oh, did they? Do you remember that? Because they, because Toby McGuire was like shooting out of his wrist and they're like, whoa, that just comes out of you. Oh, yes.

And I didn't understand the joke. Now I do. Now I do. But I think they should go back and edit the comic. books to have it just come out of him. It is weird that it doesn't. Right? He got bit by a spider. He should be able to do it.

A lot of things. Spiders make wet. Why can he only do some spider thing and not all spider thing? Yeah, because then it's like, I guess what? He crawls on walls and has a spider's sins. And then separately he's like, I should make goop. I got to go in the lab and make my goop. Yeah.

That's a big swing. And then also, what happens if he runs out? Does he? Have you seen all the movies? I haven't seen the Andrew Garfield ones. But I've seen all the other ones. But who's the other one? Tom Holland. I almost said Trevor Noah and I was like, I know that's wrong.

Don't say it. And then you said his name and I was like, oh, I was so off. This both start with tea. Hey, thank you. Yeah. That was really kind of you. No problem. So you watched the Tom Holland ones.

And he was in the lab mixing the goop? I guess. I'm trying to remember how it happened. I don't remember. I guess he did make this. He made the goop, yeah. And he had it like in like a Ricky Dinkan situation. And then eventually Iron Man gave him a suit.

And then it was in the suit. Oh. Is that the one I saw? Is that the one where the blip happens? Maybe. I love every time the blip is referenced because I'm like, I'm involved. I know what that is. The blip happened.

And everyone's talking about it. And they're mourning. I've talked about this on newcomers, but I genuinely think there needs to be a Marvel television series about the blip. I agree. I think it's such an interesting thing that just half the population leaves. I want to see how twins behave when the one twin comes back. Yeah.

And now we're three years older? Yeah. And that twin is just three years younger? Yeah. Who are you? I don't know my twin anymore. Yeah. And also like, where does that?

they go? Were they just like dormant for years? Wait, do they ever explain where they go? I don't think so. Wait, Allie, do you mind looking up where they went during the blip? Yeah, for sure. Like, in a different universe? Are they sleeping? Are they dreaming? Are they? What do they experience? Nothing? I don't know. We're going to find out. Um, okay. During the blip, which is the five-year period between In Infinity War and Endgame, the half of the universe's population erased by Thanos did not go to an alternate universe. They ceased to exist, essentially becoming dead. They did not age, and upon returning, they had no memories of the intervening five years. Wow.

Wow. That's crazy. Yeah. I want to watch a TV show of someone trying to catch them up. Okay. So much has happened in five years? Yeah. Wait, speaking of dreams.

I had a dream, Sashir. Buckle up. You were so mean to me in this dream. Oh, no. We were recording this podcast, best friends. Yes. And I wanted to talk about bad bunny at the Super Bowl. Yeah.

And you said to me, you were like, ugh, that again. And I was like, I mean, I don't really have to if you don't want to. And you're like, thank God. And I was like, okay. And then I woke up and I was like, huh. Wait, we didn't record. It was so, it felt so real. Oh, no.

And I didn't know why you didn't want to talk about bad bunny. Do you not like bad bunny? I do like bad bunny. And we also have never talked about it. So it's not like I would even be tired of talking about a bad bunny with you because you and I haven't even discussed it yet. I know. It was such a crazy dream.

I'm so sorry. I was mean to your dream. It's okay. We have to take a break. You know that feeling when you're packing for vacation, but nothing feels cool or weather appropriate? You could buy a whole new wardrobe for your trip, or you could rent stuff from Newley. Send it back when you're done. Newley is a subscription clothing rental service that lets you pick six styles every month for just $98 a month. You get your choice of any six styles. Rent for whatever you have going on. You get dresses and fancy styles.

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Chamberlain University belong to something greater. Certified to operate by Shiv. And we're back. Do you want to actually talk about Bad Bunny? I love Bad Bunny. I love Bad Bunny so much. I like Bad Bunny before the Super Bowl, because sometimes I'll get into, I don't know.

Sometimes I'm Hispanic. Yeah. And I'll listen to Selena. And when I get sick of Selena, I'll listen to Bad Bunny. Great. And then when I get sick of bad bunny, I'll listen to Carol G. And I don't know what any of these people are saying, but the vibes are good. But I did restart my Rosetta Stone.

Oh, great. Because I really want to understand Spanish. Yeah, me too. Las Ninias Lee. The girls are. reading? Uh-huh. Nice.

Okay. Corre. Corre. To run? Uh-huh. El Mouer, Corre. Uh, the woman is running. Man.

El Ombre. Ombre, yeah. Mm-hmm. Uh, yeah. You're collecting vocabulary. It's huge. It's pretty wild that I remember. Yeah.

Look at you. I did it yesterday. Yes. And I was going to do one today. I did not wake up in time. And that's okay. It was very hard to wake up today. Yeah.

The sun wasn't out. Yeah, it's gloomy today. I don't like that. It was gloomy yesterday, too. Okay. Which is crazy, because the whole time you were gone, it was summer here. Oh, man. It was so hot.

That's so nice. I want that. And then you flew back, and now it's gloomy. I brought it? Yeah, and you also yelled at me in my dream. Just rude all around. I'm not trying. I swear. It's not a purpose.

Have you ever had a dream where you were like, you did this? Why did you do this? Definitely. Yeah. I think I had a dream about my mom. I don't remember what. But she woke me up. This is like when I was living, like, in high school or something.

And I was mad at her because I was like, you were made in my dream. Yeah. And I'm sure I've had other ones too where I'm like. you were mean. Mm-hmm. Why? Yeah, there's been times I've woken up and I'm like, I can't believe you did that.

Mm-hmm. And I've had a conversation with somebody. I can't remember who it was. They were like, well, I didn't do that. And I was like, yes, you did. Mm-hmm. My manifestation of you did that. So somehow, that's how you feel somewhere inside of you.

I wonder if that's, can we like, Look up, Allie, to like, dream meaning when someone is being mean to you? Like, is that your subconscious picking up on energy? Or like, or are you projecting your own feelings onto that person? Oh. Dreams where someone is mean to you often represent repressed emotions, anxieties or insecurities rather than literal threats. They typically stem from stress, feelings of being unappreciated, or internal

self-criticism, acting as a subconscious release for suppressed anger or fear. These dreams may also indicate a need to set better personal boundaries. Do you feel like I don't appreciate you? I don't know. Not in my conscious. Because I was like, subconscious, what's the opposite of that? You watch that in real time. Conscious. I saw your brain processing. No, I don't think so.

Do you feel like I'm overstepping your boundaries? I don't think so? Yeah? Maybe it's just you've been gone for so long. I've been gone for a while, yeah. And maybe that felt mean. You living a nice life and having a nice time felt really mean. I'm sorry, I'm going to do it again.

It's okay. Yeah. We have to get our hot dog. We do. I really want to. Okay. We got to make a date for it. Yeah.

I can't believe that there's a whole... Have we talked about this on the podcast? I don't know if we have. I found a restaurant that has soft serve and hot dogs. It's like someone made it for us. Yes. And we have to get there before I get shut down. Because you think it's going to get shut down.

I don't know. I feel like everything I like goes away or anything I want is going to go away. Yeah. It's too good to be true. Yes. Like the French restaurant in Wonder Man, Texas. Oh yeah. That's going away.

Is that really? That's like an L.A. institution. Yeah, they're going to put condos on top and then the restaurant will reopen below. I think. Imagine I'm spreading a line. A line. Interesting. Is it even that big?

Is it big enough to do that? I simply don't know. But I feel like I read that somewhere. I think we have to go before March. That's fast. Yeah, because it's February. Yes. That's right around the corner.

Want to know what I've been doing? What have you been doing? Every time. Oh, wait. Say the name of the restaurant again. Taxis? Texas. It's like T-A-I-X.

Yeah, it is closing down to become like a condo. Isn't that a bummer? Yeah, that is a bummer. There's so many other places to live. Yeah. Costco is one of them. That's crazy to me. That's so wild.

That is truly wild. Where did they, are they open or is this a thing? I think they're going to do that. They're going to start adding residences. above Costco, which honestly, that I support. Let me go downstairs, get a hot dog, and some toilet paper. Yeah. How wild.

I have a little community right there. A little cost. Community. Coscommunity. Custmunity. That worked a little bit better. It was still hard, though. Did you finish Wonder Man?

No, I still have two more episodes. We've got a lot going on. You gotta finish it. We will. Allie, you have to watch Wonder Man. What is Wonder Man? Okay, Wonder Man is a Disney Plus show about a Marvel character called Wonder Man. And Yaya, I don't remember his last name.

Abdul? Or, um, yeah, yeah. And I feel bad because I know Ben Kingsley's whole name. Yeah, let's find his name. Yes. Yaha Abdul Matine the second. Yes. Oh, it's Yaha.

There is an H in there. Oh, oops. call him yaya. I also thought it was yaya. I think it's yaya. It might be pronounced ya ya. There's like a fun h in that. Just for fun. Don't pronounce it. He's so hot. Yes. He's really good

in it. Ben Kingsley is so funny. I love Ben Kingsley. Yeah. Is it like Wonder Woman's brother? No. Okay. Oh, actually maybe. I don't know. No, because Wonder Woman's D.C. Oh, she's at Amazon. Oh, yeah. And she's also at Amazonian. She's Amazon.

She's Amazon Prime. Yeah, he's a man who is also an actor and then gets, like, powers. And then it's just really fun. It's really cool. It's like a cool concept for a show, for a story. And also, like, the actors are so good in it. So good. It's like an interesting role because you have to be a good enough actor to act in the show that you're acting in.

Yes. It is, it's very meta. Yeah. And the man who has one of my favorite quotes. ignorance. He's bliss. He's also in it. He's in one episode. Joey Pantaglio. Joey Pantiloglio. He's also in the Sopranos. He's very good in the Sopranos. And there's posters of this movie called Baby's Day Out. I thought it was a fake movie. It's a real movie. It's a real movie. We got to watch Babies Day Out. That's really funny. I thought they made it up for the show. Me too. No, apparently he was in a movie called Baby's Day Out.

Amazing. We have to watch that. Oh, my God. I've watched him in so many things. I think I have a crush on Joey Pint a little bit, you do. I think he's hot. He reminds me of Joe Pesci. I was going to say, your taste.

Harvey Kytel. Those, oh, I think those are my top three. Wow. I'm sure they'd be happy to know that. Yeah. Whoever's close to them, let them know. I love them. Oh, my God.

I would do like a foursome with them. Nice. Wow. Seems like you're deeply uninterested in my out. Yeah. It actually, because I was like almost visualizing it and I didn't like it. My tiny titty is slapping Joe Pesci. My labian greg.

Golfing Joey pants. Oh, no. Leave his pants alone. My toes going in Harvey Kitez's mouth. No. Oh, throw Ted Danson in there, too. Oh, my gosh. He's going to die.

Oh, boy, the old whites. The old whites. Mm-mm-mm-mm. Yeah, wow. That's your type, yeah. That really made me so excited. to think about. I'm going to ride that high for the rest of the day.

Thanks. Who's your old person, a foursome? I don't know if I have orgies. Enough to get to a foursome. Do you have one? Two. Patrick Stewart. Okay. Definitely.

That might be it. I don't know. Not many old white men do it for me like that. They don't have to be white. Ben Kingsley could probably get it too. I like him. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I don't know if I have an old man thing, honestly.

Wow, ageist. Yeah, sorry. Fucked up. Oh, my God. No. Yeah. No. All right.

Well, old people reminded me of my tooth that came out. I've been adjusting to life. I was just a toothless, but I have teeth. It's so strange to not have a tooth here. Yeah. I'm sure. But I'm not in pain anymore. Thank God.

It was wild how much pain I actually was in. Yeah. And just simply didn't understand that, oh, my God. Glow Modern Dentistry. Rude, rude, rude, rude, rude, rude. Rude, rude, rude. Oh, and thank you for my present. You're welcome.

It's really nice. So Cher got me a little holder for my tooth. Oh, that's so sweet. Yeah. Yeah, it's like when a kid's tooth falls out, they put them in this little jar thing. And you were carrying around in a plastic bag. So I was like, you should probably put in something. Yes, and I appreciate that.

You're welcome. Yeah, I was carrying a shard of my tooth in a plastic bag and then the actual tooth in another plastic bag. Mm-hmm. Which I guess in hindsight is strange. I think some people might think it was strange, yeah. Whatever. I wasn't put on this earth to be like everybody else. That's truth.

I was put on this earth to carry teeth around in plastic bags. But now I carried around in a wooden bag. But it's not in this purse. It's in my other purse. Great. As long as it's still with you. As long as you're still carrying it around. Gotta carry my teeth around.

It's like a rabbit's foot. Maybe we'll carry rabbit's foot feet around. You've seen that. Like, for good luck. I don't think I have. I don't know if people do it anymore. Like on a keychain? Yeah. Oh, wait. You know what? I have. It's gross to me.

It's pretty gross. Yeah. And I'm really gruesome, actually. Yes. Like, you just cut off a foot off a rabbit? Yeah. And you're wearing as decoration? What do you do with the rest of the rabbit? I think that's, like, not the concern of the consumer. Meat? People eat rabbit too.

Rabbit meat. Have you had rabbit meat? I think I have. And I feel like I remember being like, it wasn't worth it, you know? It wasn't worth it to kill this rabbit. I don't think I've ever had rabbit. Yes, I do remember, like, rabbit feet, they were, like, dyed, too. Like, people would die them.

Yeah. Ugh. Yuck. I think the wildest thing I've ever eaten was an antelope. We had antelope. Oh, yes, we had antolep. And it was so decadent. I couldn't believe.

Yeah. Mm. Someone told me a joke last night. They were like, have you ever eaten zebra? And I was like, oh, my God, no. And he said, it's tough to eat because you got to get through all that white meat and dark meat. Maybe I'm saying. Is that actually?

I was like, it's got to be a better. I'm set up for this. I'm butchering this person's joke. Like white meat and dark meat Definitely makes sense But like I need There needs to be a better through line You ever eat a zebra

It's kind of tough Because you have to eat through all the white meat And dark meat I mean It probably was a much better setup I'm not good at like repeating jokes That's funny I must have not good at explaining things

Yeah I don't know how to get better at it Like I feel like a lot of times I'll be explaining something and people will like diligently be listening and being like, okay, so what, what is this? What are you talking about? I wonder if there is a way to get better at that. Because I imagine, like, you know what's happening in your head.

And you're so excited to talk about the thing that only parts of it come out. And maybe you're like trying to get to the end of the thing, but we've skipped a bunch of steps before we get to the end. But yeah, I wonder how we, how, if that's, you know, if that's, you're like, if, you're, like, if, you're, like, if, you're, you're, you're, if, you're, if, you're just to the end of the thing. That's even a thing that can be improved upon. Hmm. I don't know. I don't know. There might be a TED talk on like how to explain things.

How to effectively communicate your ideas. That's nicer. Had talked good while explaining. Oh my God. So she had a leak. Where? At my residence. Oh, God.

My water bill has been so astronomical. that I was like, I don't know how. I'm not using more water than normal, but I did have my sprinklers fixed. So I was like, maybe that's what it is. And then there's just been like water on the sidewalk. And I was like, I don't know what that is. And then the gardener, my gardener was like, because it was like, hey, Nicole, I think you have a week.

And I was like, uh-oh. So then I called a plumber. And then the plumber came over and he was like, ooh, that's actually your water meter. And I was like, oh my God. He was like, here's the thing. If the leak is from the meter, L-A-D-W-P has to fix it. But if it's on the other side of the meter, you have to fix it. And I was like, okay.

So then L-A-D-W-P came, did not tell me what time they were coming. The lady on the phone was like, we're sending them out. And I was like, when can I expect him? And she went, not for me to tell. So I just like sat around and waited until the doorbell rang And then a man was like hey I came to check your meter And I was like okay And I was like so I had a plumber come he didn't touch it

But he said there was a bunch of gaskets on the ground And he went oh man Yeah okay And then turn off the water 20 minutes later was like Is your waterville really high And I was like yes And he goes

Call back tomorrow and I hope they work with you on this And I was like shit. Oh my God. I was like, what do you mean? You hope? And then I went to the website and they were like, mail us. Mail us your name, your address, and all of the information that you know. And I was like, oh, they want to make this really hard for me to get my money back. Mm-hmm. I don't got that much going on right now. I will write them letters. Yes. It's so, like, more than doubled what I was normally paying. And it'd been for like a couple of months. And I did an inquiry and they were like, we're going to send somebody out. And then they didn't let me know that they sent somebody out.

So then I went on the website. And then they were like, we did send somebody out on a month ago and didn't tell me. And then they said I had to contact the special investigation unit. Special investigation? Is iced tea going to come look at your water? Ice tea is coming and Olivia Benson is coming. And I called the number. Nobody picked up. And I was like, why do you have a special investigation unit? Yeah.

When I just had to call the 1-800 number. Yeah. And where's the water going just to the street? Yes. So it was just a small leak that would just leak out onto the street and then it would go away. And then I guess the leak got bigger and it was just like filling up and then spreading out. and then spreading out into the street. Thank God.

But luckily, yeah, it was their side. Thank God. So I don't have to come out any more money. Yeah. But I can't believe. Someone changed the meter and then just didn't put the gaskets on. There was like three gaskets on the ground. Whoa.

Isn't that crazy? That is crazy. Someone went, I don't know. And then left it. Not even a knock-knock. I don't know. Can you monitor that? I would have.

Yeah. Insane. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And then my next-door neighbor, Sheila Cray, but she was like, there's a leak. And I was like, oh, okay. So she actually might have a leak. Oh, yeah.

But I don't know how to explain how to do what I had to do to get somebody on the phone. Yeah. Because she has asked me before, do you have a phone? And I'm like, yes. Yeah, she's not going to send letters. And she'll be like, and how did the apps work on a phone? That's a real question she's asked me. Oh.

But are the lines maybe like connected underground from your place to hers? Like could they just work on all of it? I will. So it's on this side. She's on this side. So if it were connected, I feel like it would be connected to that house on the other side. Oh. But again, I don't know. I don't know either.

Also, my neighbor, I was getting out of my car. I saw her. And I was like, I'm going to take my time getting out because I just don't have it in me to talk to her. And then I get out of the car And I was like, I think she went inside. And then as I closed my door here, Nicole! And I was like, oh, hello. And she's like, do you have, oh, Advil?

I was like, yep. And she's like, please, I have a headache. And I said, okay. So I keep Advil in the car and I shook out like eight into her hand. And she went, thank you. Thank you so much. And her hands were filthy. So I was trying so hard not to have the bottle touch her hands.

Yeah, I worry about her. Yeah. We have to take a break. Today's episode is brought to you by Alma. A year from today, who do you want to be? What version of yourself, who would you like to meet? Do you feel less anxious or more like yourself? Or maybe your relationship is stronger or the grief feels smaller.

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And we're back. We're back. I think I told you one time she asked me for ginger rail to give to her dog. Yeah. And John went and got it and he got a bottle. And she wanted cans. She's got needs. Specific needs.

So many needs. Did I tell you she jumped out of the darkness? It sounds like she always. She's always jumping out of the dark. darkness. But Marcy drove me home from Sizzler, and she was, Marcy was saying goodbye, and I was like, bye, I was doing like a dumb little bit. And then she appeared truly out of the darkness. And she went, Nicole, and I screamed so loud. And she went, no, I never want to scare you. She has a strange accent. I, like, I, um, but anyway, she like touched my face. And I was like, I don't want that. And then

I looked back at Marcy and Marcy went, are you good? And I went, and then Marcy drove away. Oh. And I said, Marcy is not a friend. Marcy is not, she's not a sister. She ain't a friend at all. She said, every man for yourself. Truly.

And then texted me later, she was like, I left you in a bind, didn't I? And I was like, yes, you did. Also, my neighbor was holding a dog that never moved. And I was like, is this a taxidermite dog that she takes on walks? she's a strange woman. She cuts the grass with scissors. And I thought I was crazy. I was like, she can't.

That's not what's happening. Be cutting the grass with scissors. And she was like, I just can't get a gardener. And I just sit there cutting the grass with scissors. And I was like, oh, okay. So you are cutting the grass with scissors? Oh, God. Yeah.

It's a, she's a curious woman. My neighbor across the street. I love him. And he used to work in security. I don't know what that means. And he never specified because it sounded like he couldn't. Okay. He's like, I used to be in security.

And so he'll like, you know, always scope out what's happening. He's like, I saw somebody in front of your house the other day. Or like, there was a black car out there. And I'm like, that's for me. Thank you. So he's on alert. He's on the case. Which I appreciate because, yeah.

If I'm not there and something's, A foot, let me know. But he's like, he loves to talk. He loves to talk. And so either leaving my house to go to my car or coming home from wherever I'm coming and going into my house, there's a chance I could get caught. And he's like, oh, so shear, I was just thinking, and then we'll just like talk forever. And I'm like holding all my things.

One foot is like in the gate. I'm like, uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. And it's just like so hard to be like, I'm going to leave now. Yes, my next door neighbor, it's very hard to end a conversation with her. But on the other side, lovely couple, we say hello.

The sky's open and nice, sunshine, and then we go our separate ways. It's very lovely. My other neighbor who gives me lemons, we always have a nice little interaction and it ends. Yeah. My next door neighbor, boy, oh boy, do they go on? Yeah. Yep. Same.

But I'm like, I guess it's the tax I have to pay for him to watch my house when I'm out of town. Yeah. My next door neighbor is nosy in a funny way because she keeps asking the nice man in my life if he's delivering things. John Milheuser once dropped me off and then as he was driving away, she was like, do you take her places? She never assumes that I have friends. That's so funny. These are just people who work for you. Not people in your life.

Which is like kind of fucked up, but I guess I don't really have people over often. But it's also like a funny, like, perspective of your life to be like, wow, she's people around the clock coming in and doing things for her. Yeah, I guess. Driving her places and delivering things to her. But this is John's old car, a powder blue Honda Civic. I think it was a 96 Honda Civic. Like, that's the car that I'm choosing to have me drive to be driven around him? Okay.

She's doing well, but not that. Not that well. Not that well. She's still a little humble. Yeah. Also, Clyde had surgery. Yes. He had a tumor on his back leg.

And he does not like his recovery. He's in a cone. Yeah. And he has a little boot that he wears when he goes outside. And for whatever reason, he keeps shitting on hills. I think maybe it's like the stability? I don't know. But then he shits and then I got to chase after it.

Maybe he's like, this guy would be fun for me too. And then he has, he was taking codeine and trazidone. And I was like, whoa, this must be nuts. He wakes up. He gets, he's like excited to. to live and then somebody gives him peanut butter that's laced with codeine and transatone. And then he's high as a kite until like more peanut butter comes. And he's like, I love peanut butter. Oh my God. And I wonder if he's going to like stop liking the peanut. He's going to like,

y'all are, you're drugging me. Maybe you should put in other things too, like vary it. You don't want him to stop liking peanut butter. But also, he'll, he'll, he'll, he'll, he also might never stopped liking peanut butter. He loves peanut butter. He does love peanut butter. But I was like, what a life. To like wake up full of energy and then, ooh, a treat because he doesn't get peanut butter that often. Yeah. And he's like, oh, what's happening to me? Just like stoned for the rest of the day. That does suck. And then I pick him up and bring him outside. He's like, oh my God. You don't have to walk.

The first time he was after his surgery when he was high, I brought him outside. and then he sat down and I went, oh, no, we got a walk. And I feel like I'm, like, not imagining it. It felt like he was like, his head went back and I was like, we have to. You have to pay. Come on. You gave me the peanut butter. And I was like, that must be how babies feel all the time.

They get, like, fed, they fall asleep and wake up in a Costco. And they're like, how do I get here? What the fuck is this? It's probably why they're crying most of the time. Yeah, they don't know where they are. Should we answer questions and queries? Let's do it. Allie, hit it.

Hi, Nicole and Sashir, long time listener, maybe first time caller. I honestly can't remember, welcome to my brain. Who is this man? L.O.L. My problem is a little complicated. Basically, I live with my ex-boyfriend, and that's a whole thing. But this man is a 31-year-old child. He is very successful in his wife.

and is a funny and interesting person, but his social skills are terrible and always have been. He constantly makes messes around the house, which he doesn't clean, he has very few friends, he doesn't parent the dog as much as he treats her like a big stuffed animal that he can pet and cuddle when he wants to and ignore when he doesn't. Overall, he only does things if he wants to, and if he doesn't want to do it, he won't do it like a spoiled kid. We've had many, many arguments over his slovenly inconsiderate behaviors, but he always seems to spin himself as the victim. I can't yell at him to do something because that's bullying.

I can't calmly suggest it because that's nagging. I can't leave him a written list because he ignores it. And when I eventually cave and do the chores myself, I feel like I'm enabling him to continue. I would move out and take the dog, except for I truly can't afford it. What do you suggest to get my roommate to pull his weight? Lots of love, Matt. Yes, Nicole, I saw you in Denver and cried laughing. I love you so much.

And Sashir, when I saw you in Agatha, I truly screamed, Sashir! Love you both. Oh, that's lovely. Yikes. Yikes. I mean, the whole time I was like, move out. Yes, move out, move out, move out, move out. Which, if you can't afford to live alone, that's fine.

But there's other people to live with. You could get a different roommate. Maybe it's trouble getting like the first last insecurity. Maybe. Or maybe just kick the other person out and have someone else move in. Oh, yeah. If the ex isn't on the lease, be like, here's your 30-day notice. I'm so sorry, God bless, this is not actually working out for me.

Yeah. And then if he's, the ex is on the lease, you're not, I think you can like put out feelers about, like with friends. Yeah. Facebook, Craigslist, yeah, like, get out of there. Yeah. Or you can be really petty, and if they don't do dishes, put those dishes in their room. Put their laundry in their room.

Yeah. Yeah, because I, living with an ex seems like a complicated situation. Because if this was just purely a roommate, I don't know. Maybe they would still be this way. But I feel like there's like a level of comfort that this person has. that wouldn't be there if this was like a straight, clear, we're roommate situation, or even if we're friends, for some reason, that feels different too. But you had this intimate relationship where you can kind of be your worst self with each other,

where I don't know if he's taking anything you're saying seriously. Yeah. Huh. Or maybe you can ask questions. Why don't you do this? Why don't you wash dishes? Yeah. I don't know.

I think the actual answer is figure out how to leave. Yeah. If you can't live on your own, just get another roommate. Because a roommate, you're right. It is less intimate. And roommates usually, some roommates are terrible. Yeah. Every roommate I've had is like pretty much pulled their weight.

And if they haven't, we've had a conversation about it. Yeah. But it feels like easier. to have a conversation about chores and cleanliness when it's like not a current or ex-partner because that feels like you're nagging or you're their mom or whatever. But if you're like, look, we live together and we're trying to like coexist in the space, it can be more business-like. Yeah, and you won't have the memories of them inside you.

Exactly. Solved. Solved. All right. Hit it, Allie. Hi, guys. I love the podcast. I get so excited when I realize it's Wednesday and there's a new one out.

So here's my dilemma. I have a friend, let's call her Bailey. Bailey went through some really bad shit and now has come out the other side and I'm so proud of her and want to do everything I can to support her. She's having a big kind of like you go girl party for herself in a few weeks. And true to her quirky form, she wants everybody to dress up in a silly theme, 90s prom. Normally I'd just go along with it, but I had a baby four months ago and I have a very complicated relationship with my postpartum body.

I've gained a lot of weight and I'm incredibly self-conscious. Let's just say I'm in my oversized sweater era for the foreseeable future. While I want to go and support Bailey, I'm starting to have a lot of anxiety about dressing up for this party. 90s prom to me doesn't really give off oversized, comfy, and nondescript vibes, you know? but I also don't want to stick out like a sore thumb at the party for not dressing up. And I think it would hurt her if I bailed on the party. So what would you do?

And if you think I should go, can you recommend something that says 90s prom but also makes me feel comfortable in my bigger body? Thank you guys so much. You're both truly just a light of joy the world needs. I think, well, I do think you should go to the party. It sounds like you also want to celebrate your friend. And so I think that would be nice to do that. I don't think you have to wear a constricting outfit in order to participate in the theme. I feel like an oversized suit could work.

An oversight suit could work. I also think finding a dress to fit your new body would also work because you had a baby. Yeah. Your body did something really incredible. And the worst part about it was gaining weight, which I don't think is a bad thing. I think your body changed to accommodate the life that it brought into the world. Yeah. So I also think while you could do something oversized, I think you could also celebrate your friend and your new body by finding something that fits your body well.

Yeah. But I also do understand, you know, some people do feel a certain type of way about gaining weight, you know, feel confident. whatever. But I do think there's a fun way to do, like, an oversized, oversized suit, an oversized, like, puffy drop-waisted dress. Yeah, I think there's super fun ways to do it. Yeah. And, like, you might surprise yourself. You might, like, start trying stuff on and be like, oh, this is fun. And also, like, because it's a theme, it's not, like, I don't know, a dinner or, like, you know, like where you yourself have to dress like you fancy or something. It's like everyone's kind of a character.

So it's like you can kind of step outside of yourself and be like, all right, whatever. We're playing. Yeah. I wonder how old are this person is. And if they were in high school in the 90s. Yeah, I wonder. Maybe find a dress that you wanted to wear. Yeah.

And do it. Yeah. And yeah, it could be nice to have a reason to like. dress up. Yeah. And look, because if they've been in sweats since they've given birth, that, I mean, like, you know, you feel what you feel and you're allowed to feel how you feel. But I feel like that would put me in a perpetual state of feeling, bleh.

You know, like, in a funk. Because, like, sometimes sweats are just like, this is my uniform. I'm like, I'm going about my day or whatever. But it could also be like, I don't even want to try. Or like, yeah. It's like a low effort kind of environment that you're like, putting yourself in, which is okay. That's how you're feeling. But also it can be

a cyclical thing where it's like you can't get out of it because you've only been wearing sweats. Yeah. I think this might be good for our friend writing in. I think so. I think it's fun. Yeah. I think go for it. Where's something really fun and like I don't know. That makes you feel good. And I feel like you'll be amongst friends so I don't think a friend would say anything rude to your face about.

your weight gain, but if they do, you can also be like, oh, I had a full baby. So, like, we don't have to talk about that. Truly, yeah. Whenever women talk about, like, gaining weight after her pregnancy, I've always been like,

but a baby came out of you. You were eating for you and the baby and giving birth is a really hard thing. And some women have C-sections, and you can't fucking move. Yeah. And then some people get ripped from pussy to taint. Nope, the taint gets ripped. Pussy to butt.

You can't move. Yeah. So if you can't move, I don't know. Like, you, a whole human came out of you. Yeah. But I think, like, of course, society puts unrealistic, like, pressure on women to, like, be hot all the time. Even if you have a baby. And then, like, we have celebrity moms in our face who have, who have, like, an instant, like, snapback when they, like, have a baby.

And they're like, yeah, I just had it. And I filmed three movies. and I look amazing And everyone's like, what, how? But they also have personal trainers. They have personal trainers. They have chefs. Yeah.

They have Photoshop. Yeah. They have like access to things that normal people don't. I don't know. I just want women to like be nicer to themselves. Definitely. Definitely. Yeah.

Yeah. But I think she should definitely go to the party. Yeah. Solved. Hi, Nicole and Sashir. I love the pod and I've been having conflicting thoughts about a friend of mine, so I wanted to see what you thought. Initially, he was fun to hang out with because of his caustic humor, but I'm starting to see that

sometimes he's just mean. Whenever we're at a restaurant or a live show, he finds something to complain about to someone who works there, which makes me have to go overboard assuring the employee that it's okay. His stories are filled with people who annoyed him, and at first they were funny, but now they're all the same. The people involved didn't let him bend the rules somehow, because he didn't think the rules made sense. He argued with them

and a manager got involved. Our jobs are also in customer service so I feel like he should know better. His husband of many years ignores his behavior which frustrates me more. My friend and I have a lot in common and enjoy the same types of entertainment so the things we do together

are fun but the conversations there aren't. We also used to work together so we have some of the same former coworker friends in common but I'm not as close with any of them as I am with him. I do not think he would respond well if I brought this up. And I'm thinking of just ending the friendship gradually to foster a more positive outlook in my own life. He's one of my main friends,

so it would be a loss, but I think I might be at that point. What do you think? I mean, it does suck to be around someone who is so negative. Yes. And also, like, actively spreading that negativity of people around you. Yeah, I'm talking to the manager everywhere they go. Yeah. But I'm not a fan of ending friendships without a conversation. conversation without trying to see if it can change. Because like, sometimes people can change. Like, it's, it isn't fair to assume they can't. And also, they don't know how they're coming off to other people. Like, you might be giving them a gift by saying something. It's not, it's certainly not your responsibility to have them change. But, like, you can give them the opportunity to

change. And if they do, what a great gift for both of you now. Now you get to enjoy this person in a more calm way, hopefully. But if they don't, then you can be like, okay, maybe I will, maybe this is just a brunch friend or maybe this is just a TV watching friend. We don't do so much, I don't take them to dinner because they'll complain and talk to the manager. But I think it's worth saying.

And you can say something that's like, doesn't have to be like a whole statement on their personality, but maybe just like, hey, I've noticed you've been really negative lately. Is something going on? Because we also don't know. Is something going on? Yeah. Is something going on?

Yeah. Or if you don't like doing a full-blown sit-down, I do think you can, when they get riled up, be like, hey, is everything okay? Mm-hmm. Are you okay? Like, is this about this right now? Yeah.

Are you mad about something else? Like, what's going on? Yeah. Because hopefully I'll help them analyze it and be like, oh, wait, am I actually mad about this thing? Or am I mad about something else? Yeah. And you can also be like, hey, is everything okay?

Because you did this the last time we hung out. You asked to see the manager because it just feels like it's happening a lot. Like, are we okay? Mm-hmm. And I feel like that might not feel as aggressive as like, can we talk? Yeah. That makes me so nervous when someone's like, can we talk? I'm like, I don't know, can we?

What do you want to talk about? Are you going to shoot me? Are you going to shoot me? You could hurt me today. I don't know. I get so scared. Also, yeah, and it's also an easy way to focus on like things that have actually happened recently as opposed to be like, you always do that. People, it's, no, even if you're saying something that's accurate, it will not be received well.

Like, no. I don't want anyone to tell me you you always do something because I'm like, I can tell you times I have not done that. That's absolutely not true. That's so funny. But yeah, if you're like, I've noticed recently X, Y and Z. or like the last time we hung out, this happened, hopefully they can like, analyze it themselves and be like, maybe I am in a certain mood right now, or I guess I've always like this and why.

And I'm not going to change. And that's their choice. They might not change. And then you can make a decision to be like, well, I don't want to be a part of this. And then if they're telling like a story where they've been wronged or whatever, I really, I think you could go, let me. guess you were wronged. Let me guess

they were rude to you. I don't know. Take the wind out of it because then they won't find joy, I guess. Or they'll steamroll you because they really love doing it. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. All my advice today has been be petty.

Or just be like, you know, I mean sometimes I'm also like devil's advocate, which is like not always fun for either party, like the person receiving it or a person who's doing it. But, you know, if their partner's not doing it, if they're just letting it happen, then no one's telling this person, hey,

maybe consider the other person's perspective on this. Like, maybe they weren't actually trying to screw you over. Yeah, maybe they were just having a nice time. Maybe they had no idea this was happening. Maybe there was a reason they hit you with that bat. Because we don't know what kind of stories they're telling. Yeah, but they're probably like that. I was backing out of my driveway and this lady hit me with a bat.

So then I called the cops on her and then the person writing in is like, I can't believe these stories. I actually just watch a video today where this, someone called the cops because I guess their son got in a fight at school or something like that. And a black cop showed up. This is a white family. The dad did not like that. a black cop showed up, started being like,

I don't need your services. I don't know. I need to talk to the supervisor. No, I don't need you. What's your badge number? And like, the black guy was like, I'm just, I don't know what's happening. You called?

So I'm just trying to figure out what the situation is. And he's like, someone beat up my son. And I don't, I don't want you. I want somebody else. And he's like, okay. And he walks away, but just like, hovers to be like, what's happening. And then, uh,

and the dad's still going off. And then the cop goes, I can see why your kid got beat up. And the dad was like, would you say? And started approaching him. And he's like, are you approaching me? And then he handcuffed the guy and got arrested. Wow.

That's pretty funny. It's really funny. Are you approaching me? Oh, are you approaching me now? That's wild to call the cops and being like, not that kind. I want a white cup. I mean, the racism is deep. It's crazy.

It is wild. How racist everybody seems. I don't know if you thought this, but it's pretty wild. So, shear, I've been, like, really kind of, like, losing my mind. I'm like, so, like, we don't understand that, back to bad bunny, that Puerto Rico is a part of America, the United States of America. Yeah, it is a part of America, north and South America. There's a whole thing of America. But then also, it was like, I don't know, it was like, love wins.

I think was on one of, like, the billboard. I was just like, what? Since you're right, I feel crazy. You don't like black people? You don't like Spanish people? Who do you like? You only like white people? Y'all don't season your food.

How come that's all you like? Why don't you want spice? Why don't you want rhythm? Like, why don't you want fun shit? They do want it, but they don't think about the humans behind it. They don't think like, oh, another culture has brought this to my existence. And I should appreciate that. They're like, I'll still eat out in a Mexican restaurant.

I'll still eat Chinese food. I'll still, you know, they'll partake. But they're not thinking this is a different culture. Simply doesn't make sense this year. It really doesn't. One of the Paul people. Yeah. Do you know them?

They're internet people. Jake and Logan Paul. One of them lives in Puerto Rico. I didn't know that. And he was like, he went off about Bad Bunny's Super Bowl. I was like, but you live in Puerto Rico. Mm. He repping your flag.

You live there. I'm confused. It's confusing. It sucked. Oh, anywho. Solved. Oh, yeah, solved. Well, well, that's it.

We got to get out of here. We got to get out of here. We got to fly the coop. Remember people said that all the time? Yeah. All the time they were saying that. Because it was a chicken coop, fly the coop. Yeah.

But chickens aren't really fly. No. Okay, I just heard. Okay, the joke, why did the chicken cross the road? Yes. To get to the other side. Yeah. Do you know what that means?

What? The chicken just needed to get to the other side. Allie, do you know what it means? Like heaven? Yes. Allegedly that's like I saw it online and that's what like People are like that and I was like I think it's just a non-sequitur But like to get to the other side because he like got hit by a car I assume

Oh my God But I'm like this joke you really got to fill him a fucking blanks Yeah I had no idea So he crossed over? Yeah so she what are we doing? Everyone's racist and trying to make meanings out of jokes that don't need meaning I didn't need it to be that deep No

And that was just something to say like Clock clock clock just crossed the street Damn. Well, got to fly the coop! Wait, what's another one? Let's blow this popsicle stand. That's crazy. They're going to bomb children.

I really thought about it. Let's blow. I also have no idea why it's called that. Let's blow. Yeah, why blow? It really doesn't explode. Yes, they're going to kill these kids selling popsicles. Let's make like a.

tree and leave. Well, that one I get. That one's pretty clear. Did you look at the popsicle stand in one alley? Yeah, it says that the phrase likely evolved from 1940s, 1950s slang saying, let's blow this pop stand, referring to a soda fountain. And then it evolved into a popcorn stand and eventually popsicle stand, possibly popularized by 1970s, 1980s media. Hmm. Still doesn't explain why we're blowing it up.

I guess it was just the slang of the time. I guess so. Oh, I saw a thing that said the Britney Spears song, Hit Me Baby One More Time, was like a mistranslation because whoever wrote the song, I don't know where they're from. A man who wrote all of the hits of the 2000s. Oh. From Speed and.

Okay, yeah. They thought. Max Martin? Oh, yes. I believe wrote that. Yeah. What a pool. Yeah.

That came from the recesses of your brain. He thought hit me was slang in America in the United States for call me. So it was supposed to be like, call me back baby one more time as opposed to like, but he's like, hit me baby one more time. And no one questioned it. We were just like, yep. Put a good beat on it and people don't question shit. He thought it meant like hit me up. Yeah, oh, yes.

There's a Jessica Simpson song where she's talking about, pour it over me. And it's talking about come. Yeah. She's on her knees, pouring your love all over me or something. I was like, oh, my God. Nasty. I'll never forget when I learn that song's head meaning. There's a mini Ripperton song that comes up on my Spotify.

I don't know if the title is Come Inside Me, but the lyrics are like, You Can Come Inside Me. You can come inside me. And I was like, I wonder if that means like love. Or like, is there like something? No, she wants you to ejaculate inside of her. That, yes. I love a nasty song.

Yeah. I love it. Like, be nasty. I don't want it. I don't want euphemisms. Making it clear. Come in my face. Give me a pearl necklace.

Come on my titties. Give me a cum bra. A cum bra. Make on my clothes out of a cum. Dress me. And come. Kiss me up and come. Wow, we don't want to end this.

I know. We got to end. All right. We got a. What's another? We got a scram. We got to ride this alligator. We got to ride this alligator and get out of here.

Well, that means I'm mad. Oh, no. We're not. Right? Yeah, that's what we decided. What that means? Uh-oh. Let's make.

like teeth and close-up shop. Yep. Goodbye. Close up shop. Best Friends is a production of HeadGum Studios. Our producer is Ali Khan. Our executive producers, Anya Kanafkaya. The show is edited, mixed, and engineered by Rochelle Chet.

That was a HeadGum podcast.