Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata - Nicole's In Her Pants Era

Episode Date: November 5, 2025

Nicole and Sasheer are back in the studio to debrief Sasheer’s house project, uncover the origin story of cereal mascots, try a new quiz and answer some friendship advice questions from our gorgeous listeners.Watch this full video on YouTube and follow below!Follow Nicole: Twitter, Instagram, TikTokFollow Sasheer: Instagram, TikTokLike the show? Rate Best Friends 5 stars on Spotify and Apple Podcasts!Have a friendship question for Nicole and Sasheer to solve? Leave us a voicemail at [phone]‬ or write in at [e-mail] Friends is a production of Headgum Studios. Our producer is Allie Kahan. Our executive producer is Anya Kanevskaya. The show is edited, mixed, and engineered by Richelle Chen.This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Best Friends via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a headgum podcast. This is a headgum podcast. This is a headgum podcast. How are you? I'm good. How are you? You know, I'm okay. I didn't have my more. morning poop this morning. Do you feel stopped up? Not stopped up, but I feel full. Yeah, that's not great. No. So when I get home, I'm going to release the beast. I'm excited for you

to release the beast. I didn't want to do it here. Yeah, please don't. You know? I didn't want to leave a treat in the bathroom for somebody. One time I went to the gynecologist and I was like, I was like, there's a, I was like, there's a mask somewhere when I feel it over here. And she was like, That could be poop. And I was like, excuse me? Excuse me? No, I was like, no, there's no way. And then, yeah, it was just, I was just topped up.

Oh, no. You could feel it? Like, if I put my fingers up there, I could feel it on the other side. I'm, what? In your pussy? Like, behind it? I don't know. I don't know where it was.

but I was like here or no in front I don't know at top of it oh that was like there's a mass here and she's like probably poop interesting I you know how they're like do breast exams and whatnot and like fill your body and make sure there's no like random lumps and new stuff I don't know my body well enough to know what's new I think I I think I do because I and maybe it's because I and maybe it's because I directed the vagina mallogs in college. There we go. That's why you know. Yeah. And it was like, there's a whole section about like looking at yourself in the mirror and like knowing what's going on with your body.

So yeah, I do like tend to be like, oh, that's a new mole or like that's a new this or like, oh, you know, this is different. A new thing's happening where when my period's coming, the lymph node and my left armpit starts hurting. Oh. Yeah, I wanted to get my breast checked. And I was like, I was like, well, I wasn't concerned, but I was like, yeah, there's lumps, blah, blah, blah. Also, my armpit hurts.

And she was like, is your period coming? I was like, yeah. And she's like, that's normal. I was like, is it? That's normal? It wasn't before. This shit sucks. It sucks.

Getting older fucking blows. It does. I don't want it. I mean, I don't mind getting older. It's not like the age thing that gets me. It's just like the body starts malfunctioning like an old refrigerator. Yeah, I was like, why is this light on? Yes.

What does that mean? What does it mean? And I'm like, did bodies back in the day do this? Interesting. Or is it like the shit we're eating that breaks us down faster? Well, we're definitely living longer than we used to. So I think maybe they didn't always reach this point. And definitely food.

Yeah, I'm sure the food is not helping. No. We're eating Cheetos and shit. But I love Cheetos. Cheeto the Cheetah. Cheeto the... There he is. Cheater the Cheetah the Cheeto.

Well, Chester the Cheetah. Oh, fuck. I constantly get it wrong. And this is like the eighth time we've talked about it on this podcast. I mean, you're not wrong to think Cheeto should be in the name. But somehow it's not even. It's Chester and Cheetah. And honestly, it is a genius. name. Chester the Cheetah

for Cheetos Tony the Tiger he's not the Frosted Flakes Tiger he's just Tony That's it yeah, that's a good point And then Tucan Sam He's not the Fruit Loop bitch He's not too can fruit loop

He should be too can't root loop And I feel like all the mascots Should have the name Ish of the brand kind of in there Yeah Chester the Cheetah is the closest. Yes Which maybe they just named Cheeto after a Cheetah.

Maybe they started with the mascot first. Maybe. And then created the name. That would be insane. At Frito Lay, they were like, huh, this fun Cheetah. What could he represent? Let's bioengineer an orange treat for everybody. Call him cheat cheetahs.

Maybe like the CEO's kid drew a cheetah. He's like, I got it. I'm going to make something around this. My kid's the best. I love my fuck. I'm going to support your dreams. And then there's the rabbit, Tricks. Tricks is for kids.

Yeah. Which is the rabbit named Tricks or does the rabbit have a name? I think it's Tricks the rabbit. Yeah. Does the rabbit have a name? No, the Tricks Rabbit is not given an official formal name in the commercials. He's only referred to as the silly rabbit or the tricks rabbit. or the tricks rabbit.

Oh, silly rabbit. Tricks are for kids. Mean. They don't even ask his name. They don't ask his name and they won't give him cereal. That's rude. And he can scoop, I think.

But they're like, no, this is for children, not for silly rabbits. Whoa. Insulting him and withholding. It's speciesist. It is speciesist. And then what does Cheerios have? The honeybee?

Oh, I guess it's Honeynut Cheerios. Yeah. specifically. But do the other chirios have things? I don't know. I like the honeybee. I don't think I know what the honeybee looks like. It's like a big yellow head.

And kind of like a reddish body, even though I think. Am I thinking of it? Am I right? So the bee is named Buzzbee. Had no idea. And before he flew on to the series. scene. Cheerio's had a little boy and girl as their brand mascots. Never knew. And they were named the Cheerios Kid and Sue. That's so funny.

Sue has a name. But the other one is the Cheerio Kid and Sue. And his friend Sue. That's so funny. I like that Sue's a full-fledged character with a name and then the boy is just the Cheerio's kid. It's very rare that the female character gets a full development. It's fully recognized with the name and whatnot. God, that's so funny. And then child number two. What other ones are there? Captain Crunch?

Yeah. The captain? I'm assuming he's the captain. Or is he Captain Crunch? Is his last name Crunch? I think his last name probably is Crunch. Mr. Crunch. Georgie Crunch.

Yeah. Captain Georgie Crunch. If you could be a mascot for anything other than Tiva's, what would you be? I feel like it had to be some kind of chip. Maybe like, what chips would I be? I do like the Cape Cod chips. I'd just be on a boat. Oh, yeah.

Wave in from the sea. Passengers this year. Or... Sailor, says shear? Hmm. I'm trying to think of nautical terms. Or maybe captain. I could be a captain.

Yeah, no, you're a woman. That's true. You're a passenger. You know a mermaid, actually. Oh, the mermaid of Cape Cod. I don't hate it. I like it. I'm into it.

Yeah. What would you do? Well, I really like the Honeybunches of Oats lady. She's just a lady who works in the factory. Yeah. So I think I want to be like a lady, just a lady. And I think I'd want to be the mascot for goobers. Oh, yes.

I love goobers. Chocolate covered peanuts without a shell. Okay, okay. And I'll just be, I'll be the goober lady. I'll be goobie. Will you be like a lady in the factory or are you a lady in the headquarters? Are you a lady in the delivery wing? I'm a lady who's packing the boxes

and making sure that itty-bitty little peanuts get in and then big conglomerates get in because that's the fun of goobers. When you knock them out of the box, some are huge. Some are so small. Diversity. Diversity in the nut world.

I fucking love nuts. You know, nuts are so good. I understand George Washington Carver's obsession. Yeah, he made so much. Especially with the peanut. Such a versatile nut. Really versatile.

And I love that he never looked at another nut. He wasn't like walnuts. Like we haven't tapped out the full potential of this. Are there, is there walnut butter? I know there's almond butter, sunflower seed butter. I don't know if there's pecan butter. I don't know. I feel like I only heard of almond butter.

Mm-hmm. All right, do you mind looking at it? Is there a walnut butter? There is a pecan butter. I'm looking at walnut. Yes, there's a walnut butter. I'm going to have to try that. Maybe you can butter anything.

Yeah. Or at least butter any nut. You can butter any nut. You can butter any nut. If you try her. That's so funny. I have been watching a lot of shark tank clips on YouTube. And there was a woman who made date butter.

That sounds really good. It did sound good. And the sharks weren't into it. it. Yeah. And then they, like, insulted her, and I really didn't like it. So then I was like, I'll support her. I'm going to see where her nut butters are.

And then I found it on one website and it didn't take American Express and then I gave up. Yeah, you got to make it easier. Just a little bit. But I think the company went out of business. And I'm pretty bummed about it because I wanted to taste this date butter. Yeah, I'm curious. Because dates are really sweet.

So I wonder if it's like sweet butter. And she had like a date chocolate butter. And I was like, that sounds really good. That sounds really nice. I'm going to try again when I get home, if I remember. But I think we all know how that's going to go. I'll text you and be like, did you figure it out? Oh, that would be nice.

Yeah. And don't do it today. Yeah. Hold it in your heart for when you're ready. I'll put it in my calendar and say text Nicole about date. And send the screenshot. That'll make me laugh. Okay, good.

Oh, boy. I don't think there's anything in my calendar coming up that I don't know about. we'll see yeah we'll see each day is a mystery have you ever fallen asleep without looking at what you have to do the next day

and then when you woke up been really surprised I'm sure I have but since I've been using a phone calendar it's pretty like in my muscle memory of my fingers to go to my calendar

to be like, what am I doing in the morning just to make sure I know what time I'm supposed to wake up? I usually do that, but there's been times where I didn't. Yeah. And then I've like woken up and I'm like, wow, I woke up early. It's 10. And then look at my calendar and I've been like, man, I got to do something in 20 minutes. Oh, no. Oh, Lord.

Oh, Lord. Better lay here. But that's like, it feels like a level of confidence of like, like, I don't have anything to do. Like, just knowing, just believing. I'm good. let my body rise when it rises and see what happens. Sometimes I do that and I'm like, it's a Thursday. I probably don't have anything to do.

Guess what? I do. I have several things to do. I feel like I have things to do every day. Yes. Yes. And sometimes I'm like, I don't. Yeah. And I think that's me being like, maybe it's my body going. I need a rest. Yeah, for sure. I'm not even going to look because I know I don't have anything to do. I'm going to get to rest. Your body's sabotaging you. Like, just don't go. Don't go. Stay in the bed longer, please. It's because I don't go to sleep at night.

It's really tough. Yeah. Are you like in bed eyes open or is it like you're doing stuff and can't go to sleep? Sometimes I'll just be in bed, eyes closed, not on the phone, nothing. And then I'll be like maybe 15 minutes is past and I'll look at my phone. I'm like, no, an hour and a half has passed. And I've just been laying here with my eyes closed and I just will not honk you. I truly will not just go to sleep

It sucks It does suck It's a real treat though When I get in bed And then close my eyes And then when I open them It's morning And I'm like whoa

It happened Whoa I just went to sleep Yeah That's nice I lately Have been noticing that Okay I'll see if I know how to describe this

So I'm trying to fall asleep And I can feel like a wave Happening Like across my body where it's like, this is probably when my body wants to go to sleep. But because I noticed it, now I'm not going to sleep. Yep. Yeah.

What is that? I don't know. It happens all the time. I'm like, oh, this is it. I'm like shutting down. And then I'm like, but what if I think about something about what happened earlier when I said something weird? Yeah.

Why did I say that? I don't know. Well, it's passed. Now I've got to struggle again. Try to get that wave to happen again. I'm like, where's that wave? Yeah. I wonder if there's a way.

wait to notice the wave and like ride it can you ride the wave can you ride the sleep wave can you actually like follow it yeah because that happened actually the last two nights where i'm like there it is oh nope it's gone yeah i don't know here's the thing in the morning i can so okay if i wake up at like six to go pee or whatever i can fully ride that wave right back to sleep no issues and then slumber so hard for so long and it'll be like I won't hear my alarm or anything I'm like back in it yeah and I don't know how to make that happen for night time yeah hmm maybe you should go to bed at 6 p.m. much earlier and then just struggle from 6 p.m. till midnight and then when you wake up to go to the bathroom at midnight then you can go back to sleep there has been times where

I've been so tuckered out. I'm like, it's 8 p.m. It's dark out. I'm going to hit the hay. And then wake up at 3 a.m. And I'm like, well, that's all the sleep I needed. I guess I'm now up doing stuff. Yeah.

And then fall back asleep at like 6 and then wake up at noon. And I'm like, well, now I've fucked it up. I have fucked up the sleep schedule. Oh, girl. Girl. We're going to have a sleep over soon. We are going to have a sleepover soon because the circus is coming to town to your house

Yeah, circus is pitching a tent above my house Got to tent that house for termites I have termites and it's gross and feels like But I want to save my house I have to get the invaders out Yes But yeah Termites are so weird and gross

They eat your house Like don't you want to eat food? Right? Go outside Yeah, go in a tree outside. Don't eat my house. There's so many trees. Yeah. Why do you, do you think, oh my God, do you think termites like housewood better because it's like cut up for them? It's like already like filleted. There's no bark. It's like when you give a kid a P.B. And J. You cut the

off the crust off. Houses are the cuss crud of, oh my God, the crusts cut off of trees. That was tough. Yeah, I was hard. You just trying to say it. The houses with the crust cut off. I'm bad to think about it. It was tough, but we did it. We persevered. We got there. Maybe.

Or maybe there's like some sort of, maybe if the woods, like, treated, it tastes different than the natural tree wood that's outside. Maybe they're just like, the sealant on these floors is jacket in. This shit's spicy as hell. Hey, Julia. Ready?

Come on in and eat this shit. Ooh, yeah. And I don't even know what a termite looks like. I do, unfortunately. What do they look like? They look like moths, kind of. But they're just kind of like tiny. They have wings?

They have wings, yeah. Termites have, they're flying around in. They can. They're not flying in my home. I saw a carcass of one because I guess it like, you know, the pest control fumigated for ants. But thankfully, I think the fumigation also works, hopefully, for termites. But it crawled out of some hole and just died.

And I was like, disgusting. And then I asked a pest person. I was like, is that a termite? And they're like, yeah, yeah, it is. Oh. Nasty. That is nasty. I have seen on Reddit people being like, yeah, termites were flying around my house.

That is deeply fucking upsetting. Yeah. Oh, Allie, I have a question. Can you make things happen there? Yeah. I would like to see what a termite looks like. And there's two different ones. There's a subterranean termite and a, what is it called?

Wood, drywood termite, I think. What's subterranean under the ground? Underground. And then, yeah, I guess the wood one is just could be any wood. Oh. Yeah. Oh. Ew.

Yeah. Termites look nasty as hell. I think there's a The one that's like below that one. That one has like I think the different variations. Yuck! Yes, the one with wings is what I saw. Ooh, an inch?

They're big boys. Ew, ew, ew, I simply don't like them. And they, like, like, procreate by the thousands every day. By the, every day. Every day. Get off her. What are they, Rihanna? Good Lord.

Every day. Doesn't I feel like Rihanna's had a baby every day? Kind of does, yeah. I'm glad she's happy. I'm too. She looks so happy. She does look great. She's turning out looks and shit.

She's accessorizing with that belly. Boy, oh, boy. Yeah. Yikes. But that's what's happening in my floor is and walls. I'm so sorry. God bless. I know. I had to do it a couple months ago.

Yeah. And it is a lot of work because the pesticides they use is toxic to us. So you can't be in the house for, I think it's like 48 hours. They put notices everywhere that's like don't come into this house. And you have to double bag your food. Yeah. And then you, I thought it was enough to just like fold it over, but you have to, close it like twist it and uh tape it down with like duct tape oh wow um or it's like get rid of

all the food in your house so i had a a big old giveaway gave food to that nice man who's nice to me there you go i say here take this chicken take the he took so much shit that's great i mean think i rarely have food in my house so i don't have much to do you sure do never have food you sure do you sure do never have food I sure do. I love it. You'll have like a loose LaCroix. They'll be like, you can just throw that away.

You throw that right away. And then I feel like you always have lemon cello that flavor. Probably. It's like usually we're left over from a party or something. I don't drink it, but they're always there. One or two of them. I can bring them over if you want. Oh, you got some now?

I think I do. I'm pretty sure I do. Yeah, bring them on over. I'll be chugging them. Great. Glug, glug, glug. Unless it's lemoncella. That's my least favorite one.

Actually, you can bring it over. I'll drink it. Or someone else will drink it. Yeah. I always like to have different flobbers of things for people as well. Exactly. They get a choice. Yes.

And that's what we all want in life choices. Where are these jeans from? I can't remember. I think that from some shoot. They're good. I like them. Thank you. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. I was like wanting to wear a jean. and these are the loosest ones I have. You don't like being restricted. I really don't. I need to be free. I've got to be ready for anything. I got to move.

I have been going through my closet and, like, purging and getting rid of stuff. And I simply cannot get rid of my dresses that I don't wear anymore. Yeah. And I don't know why. I did see. I'm going to try this with a dress that I like and don't really want to wear anymore. I saw this video where this woman took her dresses

and got a tailor to split them so it was a crop top and a skirt so it was like a set so if you want to revamp it have a different vibe with the same dress you could do that maybe I'll try that out maybe I'll take them on over to Hamlet

I also got with Hamlet a skirt made into pants. Is it blowing your mind? No, she's not functioning. No! And I pass right away. And do you enjoy how the pants fit?

I do. It was a journey to get there. But yeah, eventually he figured out because there was a lining and the overlay of the skirt. And so we had to like alter two things. But eventually we got there and now they're cute pants.

Oh, all right. I would like to see these pants. I will show you these pants. Let's go to a break. Yes. Huff, a puff, and spin for even more ways to enjoy Golden Nugget Online Casino with the brand new Huff and even more Puff Slot.

New players download. the app use code best friends wager just five bucks and get started with 500 total spins on our player's favorite slot this fall. That's code best friends and get 50 spins a day for each of your first 10 days with puff and

even more puff's new super wheel bonus feature you can now spin for all the bacon at Golden Nugget online casino. Gambling problem? Call 1-800 gambler. Please play responsibly. 21 plus.

physically present in Michigan, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, and West Virginia only. Void in Ontario. New customers only. Non-withdrawable casino spins issued as 50 spins per day for 10 days. Valid for feature game only and expire each day after 24 hours. See terms at golden nuggett casino.com slash promos. Offer ends at 11.59 p.m. Eastern. A November 30th, 2025.

And we're back. Yeah, maybe that would be the move to maybe make them into pants. Because I am in my pants era. Yeah. But I'm like, what if I go back to my dress era? Interesting. I don't know.

Yeah. Maybe you only pants up some of them. Not all of them. Pants up. Only pants up some of them. That was a wild. You got a pants up. Hey man.

You better pants up. Pants up. Play it. Why ain't you pantsed up? Play it don't fall back on me. Too like that. We got to bring the word player. Play it back.

Why did we stop saying playa? I don't know. It's really fun. Remember in Vegas we saw a strip club called the Players Club? Oh, yes. but with an apostrophe meaning that The man's name was player? The man's name was, yeah, or it was one singular player

who owned the club. This player owns the club. It's player's club. Players club. I've been watching The Sopranos. And there's a club in it called Bada Bing. And the logo, it's Bada Bing. And the bees have nipples on it.

Oh, boy. Rocked my socks on. I was like, I got to get merch. I'm late. I'm late so I don't know they still have the merch You may have missed the winter I may have But it really blew

It was so it made me laugh so hard Yeah I mean that is And the girls who dance at Potabing Very bad There's three at a time They're just like hold the pole No one's doing any sort of trick Well it's probably because they're just like

Background actors Yeah I would imagine maybe they didn't hire actual exotic dancers. No, probably not. They should. Yeah, I should have. I think we always should.

If there's, you know, an exotic dance scene, let's get them pros in there. I just watched an episode where one of, I'm not ruining anything, but one of the men high up, he's the boss and he eats pussy. And apparently eating pussy is not like a massive. skill and trait in the community at the time, I guess, because he was like, you don't tell anyone

what I do. And she was like, oh, okay. But then she had told her nail girl that she gets eaten out all the time. And then she's like, she can't talk about that anymore. But then it gets to his nephew, Tony Sopranos, wife, Carmela. And then Carmela tells him. And then they're like laughing about it and whatnot. And then he breaks up with her in the wildest way possible. That I won't spoil. He breaks up with her in a truly, truly a wild way. And because she told people that he eats pussy. Oh, no. And he doesn't want to be seen as like somebody who's less than. And I was like, well, fellas, is a gay to eat out a woman? What? You're like, your partner? Like, what? What? What are we doing? Oh, man. But the other women who were spreading this

around were they like, I would like to be eating out. Like, were they jealous? Were they like, that sounds nice? I wish my may have to eat me out. The nail girl was like, well, you're lucky because, you know, he's always going down on you. And she's like, sh, don't talk about it. And then Carmela didn't seem like it was a thing she wanted all the time. Yeah. And then Tony's like, what happens in this bedroom, stays in this bedroom? And she was like, oh, because I'm going to talk about something that happens once a year.

And I was like, I got to say, everyone has a toxic relationship on the show. It's really wild and I love it. I'm having a nice time. I think you'd like it. I did watch the first season. And I remember that storyline too. But I can't remember why I stopped, but I liked it. It's great.

It's fun. I can't wait to see more. I can't wait for you to see more. And I love how Tony Sopranos always hitting people. His hands are oven mitts. They're so big and it's just like, da doof. And I'm like, imagine doing scenes where you've got to get hit over and over and over again by these oven mitts. It's like, I think we got it. We have it.

Al, I have a bruise. Yeah, he's so good. He was so good And I love the therapist Lorraine Brockco I don't know I think that's her name Brocko She's in Goodfellas

And she's so good and Goodfellas Have you seen Goodfellas? I haven't Oh my God It's a great movie I'm really out of the like Mob genre game Love mob shit

Love love love love I watch Mob Wives when it first aired On VH1 Big Ange is one of the best I've heard of Big Ange I love Big Ange. I love guys who just got out of prison because they want to buy your things

because they haven't been able to buy anything. That's really funny. She's great. Oh, I miss her. God rest her soul. You took one of the good ones. That's true. Have you seen The Godfather?

I have not seen the Godfather. But I've heard the Godfather's good. For good things, yeah. I've heard Godfather, too. Very, very good. Heard Godfather three, not as good as one. want and two. Oh, interesting. I want to make you a deal. I think that's from the godfather. Is it? I want to make you an offer. Oh. Hey, here's a deal. Hey, let's make a deal.

Oh, I got the deals. Should we do like a buzzfeed quiz? We've been done one in a while. It's doing. Allie, is that something we can do? A hundred percent. I feel like I have a hard time following the family dynamics and the rules of a mob? Hmm. You know? Yeah. Well, there's one boss.

Yeah. And then I think they're called consigliaries, which is underneath the boss. And the boss makes decisions. It's their job to carry them out, but they're not the ones carrying them out. The soldiers are. Uh-huh. And they're all called made men, which means that they are. like, brought into the family.

And then you have, like, associates who are not exactly made men, but they're, like, bottom, bottom tier people who are in the world, but not officially apart. Whoa. It's interesting. That is interesting. Mm-hmm. Okay. Which classic bath and bodywork scent are you?

Oh, boy. I hope I'm moonlit path. Is it purple? Yes. I can like visualize it. It is purple. Okay, you're homesick. What show are you putting on?

Nickelodeon, which is a network. That's a show. Mori, that's a show. Boy Meets World, also a show. Days of Our Lives. A different world. Young and the Restless. Law and Order.

9-210. Hmm. I am going to put on a different world. I loved a different world. Yeah. I also love Law and Order. do do do do I'm going to put um Mory I feel like that's a good like sick day kind of watch I loved Mory and Ricky Lake and Jenny Jones yeah there was one episode of Ricky Lake where

I'll never forget it it was like yeah I've got crazy hair and I'm never going to change and a lady had a working helicopter sculpted into her hair I love that with the propeller's going And I remember being like, I don't know, eight or nine being like, that's my future. That's what I want. Your teacher asks for strong boys. Your teacher has for quote unquote strong boys to help carry chairs. What do you do? Sit there.

You aren't a strong boy. Couldn't be talking about me. Me? I'm not a strong boy. Grab two chairs in each arm. Quietly admonish for sexism. Grab a chair, but only for yourself. Tell her out loud that girls can be strong.

Complain about it with your friends. Secretly wish you were a strong boy. Be a smarty pants for the rest of class to impress the teacher in a different way. I'm absolutely sitting there because I'm not a strong boy. You're very strong, though. I know, but I'm not helping. I see. I would say I would honestly probably try to grab two.

just to prove everyone wrong. I am a strong boy. I'll show you. Secretly wish you were a strong boy. Oh, boy. I wish I was a strong boy. So funny. What school stereotype were you?

The athlete slash tomboy. The prissy girl. The bully. The nerd. The class clown. The stoner slash slacker. The sensitive artist. I defied stereotypes even as a youngan.

Um, class clown i was always yammering on about something truly just a real nightmare for teachers i could see you being a class clown thank you i was not voted class clown or broadway bound or we voted nothing i didn't get a single fucking superlative oh my goodness and it really stayed with me i'm so sorry thank you i got voted most likely to be a news anchor and i'm kind of doing that Yeah, look at you. Yeah. Yeah, you're presenting the news.

This just in. What school stereotype? This just in. Which also, I was probably voted that because I did do the school news, which is like, that's a lazy one. It is. That. She does the news.

So she'll do more of that. News anchor. That's so funny. I was the nerd, for sure. Now, was it a televised news? Yeah. and everyone had to watch it in the beginning of the day. Couldn't tell you what kind of news a middle school would have, but...

They cut the lawn again. Baseball one. Baseball one. Track lost. Probably that, actually. Susan Spearmint came in first in this shot put. I don't know. Susan Spearmint.

Definitely. When purchasing lip gloss from the beauty supply store, what flavor did you get? cherry strawberry grape pinacolada slash coconut lemon peach green apple clear slash no flavor here's the thing i'd pick up the grape and then wonder what it would look like on my lips put it down and get strawberry oh because you like the flavor better and then grape is usually purple but i'm like with my tones is it going to go on clear will it have like a purpley texture yeah yeah that's a hard one I would probably say clear

slash no flavor I'm not a flavor girl you're not a flavor head on your lips I'm not a flavor head on my lips no I remember like trying lip smackers and they're always so sweet and I was like I don't know I feel like I'm eating my lips

whoa I want to eat my lips I want that flover yeah what was your signature hairstyle in elementary school A simple, no fussy ponytail. Twists or braids with ballies and barrettes. Mm.

An intricate braided style. Short cut that framed your face. French braid. Unbound curls. Long down your back. One or two puff balls. Mm-hmm. In elementary school, it was definitely twists or braids with bollies and barrettes.

Same. I think up until fifth grade. Same. Oh. Because you become a woman. woman in fifth grade. So coming of age. In fifth grade.

I begged my mom for a relaxer in fifth grade, and I think that's when I got it. It was either fifth or sixth grade. I remember my being in fifth grade, and it, of course, it straightened my hair the whole way. So it was like a helmet. It was like a puffy, like long but elevated helmet. Elevated, a long, elevated helmet. Oh, wait, you know what?

I don't think I got a relaxer until. like six or seventh grade, but my mom started pressing my hair. Oh, okay. And that would be straight in the morning and then slowly you would puff up. Yeah. Oh, my God, it would burnt the shit out of me. Yeah, same. You got a crush. What do you do?

Walk straight up and tell them. No funny business. Secretly pine and write them love poems. Get your friend to ask their friend if they know if they like anyone. Be mean to them hoping they'll get it. Only tell your closest friend. Your crush is the teacher. So you try to impress them.

by being smart. Have your friend tell them you like them. You don't get crushes. You're focused on school. I ain't get closeted. Oh my God. Oh my God. That is a reed.

Isn't it wild to have a crush on a teacher hoping that he's a criminal? Yeah, because your best case in error is that he commits a crime. Yes. You're like, oh my God, I hope that adult wants this. What? He shouldn't.

No, he absolutely shouldn't. But I've had a crush on several teachers and I'm like, why don't you like me? And it's like, what? It's like they're moral. They really shouldn't. They can't like you. It's illegal. And I'm like, they have a family?

They don't want this. They want to leave their family for me? This jobless kid? Yes, this child who will bring nothing to the table. I am. I'm going to tell. I'm going to have my friend tell them that I like them. I was always like, I'm not going to do it, but you'll do it.

Yeah. Did it ever work? No. I've done a number of these. I've definitely secretly pined. I didn't write a poem, but I did draw Foghorn, Leghorn. I don't know why I did this. I drew a picture of Foghorn, Leghorn.

And I wrote, I tried to write. right, you're my sweetie, but I spelled it like sweat with an A. So it was, you're my sweaty. And then I passed the note. I don't even know if it actually reached my target because the teacher intercepted it. And he read it and he was like, you're my sweaty. Girl, like, roasted me in front of the class class. I misspelled it.

I'm so sorry. God bless. It was so embarrassing. And did the teacher know that you had written this? I think so but I don't even know I don't even remember who I was trying to pass it to

or if it got to them or if they knew it was going to get to them but I remember that moment wow I'm so sorry that's tough so I think after that

I was like never again I'll never put myself out like that again but also like the you don't get crushes your focus on school i.e. gay closeted was most of my

school career so we can put that I once was writing a note talking about, I might have talked about this on the podcast, I don't remember, but one of my friends was like dating this guy and we were talking about it in a note and then the teacher intercepted it

and the guy she was dating had the same name as him and he like kept me after class to be like, hey, you can't talk about me like this. And I was like, you wish. No one's talking about you. We're talking about a student who has, has the same name as you. And then I said something really nasty.

I really, like, I remember this because I thought about it later. And I was like, that was mean. He had, like, a picture of a woman and a child on his desk. And I was like, you should focus on those people who probably came with the frame. Oh, no. And he was like, you can go now. Oh, no. I just sobbed for two hours.

He might have cried. I don't know, probably. Isn't that mean? It's already devastating to think that your students have a crush on you. And you're like, I got to let them down gently. I got to let them know. And they're like, not you. Not you.

We're talking about a student. Also, these fake people don't love you either. You don't even have a family. We don't want you and you don't have a family. He did not like me. Mr. Gentry, I'll never forget that name. Damn. You were.

Too talkative in class. A pleasure to have in class. Works well independently. Easily distracted in class. A hard worker. A good student. Extremely capable student. Never in class.

Yeah. I mean, if we're talking elementary school, I was too talkative in class. If we're talking high school, I was never in class. Interesting. Yeah. After my mom died, I was like, well, this is a pass. I simply won't be here. Yeah.

And then if somebody said something, I'd be like, my mommy's dead. And that feels like that's good enough. I learned so young that if you do something bad and if you then make people feel bad for you, it cancels it out. Don't work anymore. Now I'm an adult. They're like, go to therapy. We've been talking about elementary school. So I'm going to say too talkative in class.

No one ever said I was a pleasure to have. Kind of rude. Hey, you're a pleasure to have here. Hey, thank you. It doesn't hurt my feelings that teachers didn't like me growing up, because I'm like, that's on you. I was too spicy for you. Can't handle the heat and get out of my kitchen. I like that.

I wish I had that. It did affect me that teachers didn't like me. And I don't know why they didn't like me. I think because I was a smart ass, but like, I wasn't trying to hurt their feelings. I just had a little quip that I thought was funny. And I was trying to impress people And they were like, hate this. Sometimes I was too talkative.

But I guess I also was a good student. I would say I was a good student. That's the truth. Okay. Who are we? All right. Who are we? Wait, what is this? Oh, Bath and Body Works.

Oh, yes. For whatever reason, I was like, lip cloth. We're getting lip loss. Kind of. Okay, I'm cucumber melons. That's a popular one. That's the next best.

Yeah. That's fun. Yeah. Okay, crisp, cucumber, watery honeydew, summer cantaloupe, sparkling grapefruit, and sheer woods. Shear woods. You like an understated scent. Okay. Something fresh that matches your cool personality.

I like that. That is fun. That's fun. I would say cucumber melon's probably the one that I could, like, stand the most. It didn't smell too sweet. Japanese cherry blossom. I like that. I'm from Japan.

Yeah, I would have hated you in class. I'm a strong boy and a good student. Cherry blossom, Asian pear, fresh mimosa petals, white jasmine, and blushing. sandalwood you are warm and inviting and your beauty is something to be rival wow that's nice i like it wow auto stradler straddle was like you are beautiful and they were like and you got a cool personality cool personality bro that's tough man okay let's take a break oh boy the countdown is on Holiday shopping season is officially here. Uncommon Goods takes the stress out of gifting with thousands of unique, high-quality fines you won't see anywhere else. Don't wait. The most meaningful gifts get scooped up fast and now's the perfect time to cross names off your list. Uncommon Goods looks for products that are high-quality, unique, and often handmade or made in the U.S. Many are crafted by independent artists and small businesses making every gift feel meaningful and truly one of a kind.

The Uncommon Good site is so specific. You can type in anything like Tarot or Bath or Sense, and then they'll just come up with things that you wouldn't have even thought of. You're like, this exists. I love it. And I can give it to somebody in my life. Uncommon Goods has something for everyone, from moms and dads to kids to teens, book lovers, history buffs, diehard football fans, foodies, mixologists, avid gardeners. You'll find thousands of new gift ideas that you won't find. anywhere else.

When you shop by Uncommon Goods, you're supporting artists and small independent businesses. Many of their handcrafted products are made in small batches, so shop now before they sell out this holiday season. And with every purchase you make it Uncommon Goods, they give back $1 to a nonprofit partner of your choice. They've donated more than $3.1 million to date. So don't wait. Cross those names off your list before the rush. To get 15% off your next gift, go to Uncommon Goods.com. best friends. That's uncommon goods.com slash best friends for 15% off. Uncommon goods.

We're all out of the ordinary. Well, we're back. Should we answer questions? Let's do it. All right. Let's get into it with those questions and queries. Amazing. Okay. Hi, Nicole and Sashir. Me and one of my best friends. have always been on the same timeline in terms of what we do romantic. By that I mean, we'd always be experiencing the same things romantically at the same point in our lives, whether that be us wondering how the fuck people just make out and go on dates because that was a crazy concept to us that people just did that or losing our V cards. She lost hers only a few weeks after I lost mine.

We've always been able to bond over our romantic shit, but now she's gotten her first boyfriend. and I'm so happy for her, but I'm also sad because I want a boyfriend. Plus, we can no longer bond over the same experiences since I still have never been in a relationship. Maybe her getting a BF is a good thing if we stay on this pattern because it'll mean I'm going to get a BF soon too. But if the pattern stops, I'm going to be sad. Have you guys ever felt this? Hmm. Hmm.

I feel like you've always dated. more than me and we don't have like the backstory of like us like going through romantic things together but hmm i mean i didn't feel like left behind but i was like oh i wish i had a partner or like a relationship or whatever um but i still felt like i could talk to you about things and still talk about being single hmm I was going to say I do think there was a just some period because when we met we both weren't in relationships and so we were like our time was usually together and then when I did get a boyfriend it there was like a bit of a like oh okay like if I call you might be with your boyfriend or if I want to go to dinner with you you might be doing something with your boyfriend we got to figure out It was just a good change. But I feel like, well, eventually I broke up with that guy,

so it didn't really last that long. Yeah, I guess it was, I do remember this. It was a little bit of an adjustment, but he did run in the same circle, so it was kind of like we were together anyway. Yeah. And I think it was more of an adjustment when you started dating someone

who wasn't really in the improv world. Yeah. And then also I think we were, a long distance at that point. So then it was just like, well, how does this work out? Yeah. And oh, I do remember I was like, you're going to just fade away and I'll never see you. And I was shit-faced.

And you were like, what are you talking about? I was like, I'm catastrophizing. Yeah. But also, I do understand because, like, yeah, you were, you weren't in New York anymore and you hadn't met the guy. Like, you, like, I was like, I have a boyfriend. and you're like, I don't even know this person. And that is weird because it's like, yeah, you're in my life so much and you are important

to me. And yet this huge thing happened. But you weren't, you physically weren't there. Yeah, it wasn't there. Yeah. And then you met him and you threatened him. Sure did. I threatened him right up and he'd bring it up at least once a year for almost a decade.

But then we like really got along. I got to know him. And I was like, oh, he's really actually wonderful. Yeah. But I do think our friend can mourn a little bit that, like, they're on a different path than their friend. Yeah. I do think it's a little dangerous to be like, well, oh, she has a boyfriend, so I'm going to get one soon. Yeah.

Because it could be years and years, and then you start a podcast about it. Yeah. Could be a solid 15 years for me. you to get that partner. And it does feel shitty being like the single friend, but like also you get to be single and you get to love yourself and you get to explore who you are as a person. And I think that's okay. I think I think my advice is since you are now on different chapters, maybe you close

the book a little bit and keep your eyes on your own paper. Yeah But just a little bit Don't close it Oh yeah I mean like You don't have to slam it shut Yeah

Keep bookmark in there Keep a bookmark in there Open right right back up Yeah And I think maybe communicating How you feel could be helpful too And be like

Hey I love that you're in this relationship I'm excited to get to know this person I You know I want to feel like we still have like our thing too so you know I don't even know how to say it like I don't know if it's like you know can we have a regular girls night on the weekends or like a regular call or something like that but also it's like since this is a your friend's first relationship as well she'll also be stumbling

through it so it's like you're just you're gonna have to figure it out together yes and there's going to be moments where you're like, ouch, that didn't feel good or like, or vice versa, where she's like, that sucks. But like, yeah, you'll have to just like keep talking to each other about it. So you can remain close.

Yes, discard my advice. I said, close the book, close up shop, you're different people. I was like, does that mean in the friendship? What does this mean? Close the book. Close the book. Leave the library. You're not friends anymore. I think I'm coming from a space of like,

don't hurt your own feelings. Because sometimes you can hurt your own feelings when you're like looking at your friend be happy with their partner and then you're like, when's mine coming? I just don't want them to get stuck in the when's mind coming.

Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. But also when she said like, you know, maybe this means I get a boyfriend soon. I mean, I could see it being like, yeah, don't do that because you might set yourself up for disappointment. But I'm also like, that's a great way to think about it too. Yes, because then you're manifesting and you're being positive about it.

And like way better than like, I hate that she has a boyfriend. It's like, cool, she's a boyfriend. That means I might get one too. Like, that's great. Yeah, yeah. Put that energy out there. I think I'm more worried about our emailer than they are about themselves. I'm like, oh, God.

Oh, don't be upset and sad. And she's like, maybe I'll get one. too life is great i just had cotton candy and i'm like uh don't choke on it you can't choke on cotton candy you shouldn't famously it should melt it melts it melts raccoons try to wash it goes away have you seen those videos i think i have yeah this is like pretty sad they thought they're going to eat food and it's like it's gone oh so this is from amelia Bidelia?

I hope so. And she's like, how do you dress a chicken? I put a dress on it. Classic Amelia Bidelia. Hey, y'all. This year I started grad school to become the strongest, fastest, smartest teacher out there. Yippee! And it's been such a delightful surprise to have the podcast make a comeback,

although I did kind of like reading all the conspiracy theories about the hiatus. Dot, dot, dot. Anyways, at teacher school, we did an activity about having a lot of, having a motto or a mantra. And I was wondering if both of you have a motto that you use. I was thinking a cute one for my class could be, I like myself, I'm worth a lot and you can't tell me that I'm not. But I'm also open to suggestions if there's something I should have the eight-year-old say every day. Thank you so much. Best Amelia, L.O.L. Future teacher Amelia. Can you read the mantra one more time? Yes. I like myself. I'm worth a lot and you can't tell me that I'm not.

Oh, I like that. That's very cute. Oh, I have no notes. Yeah, that's great. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Because, yes, you should like yourself. You're wonderful.

Yeah. I love that. And it's like, you know, instilling, like, it doesn't matter what other people say. Mm-hmm. I like myself. Like, you have a good sense of self that cannot be shaped because it doesn't matter what people say. Mm-hmm. That's great.

Yeah, I fucking love that. I'm more interested in the conspiracy theories. Yeah, I was going to say, we have a. Yeah, look those conspiracies. We were like, yeah, yeah, yeah. But wait a minute. Conspiracy? Yeah, them kids are going to grow up good.

Well, what about us? Hey, what's the, what, uh, whatever they say? Yeah, and then like, where can we find them? Probably Reddit? Do you think they're on Reddit? Allie, will you go to Reddit? Yeah, what are the conspiracies? I don't know.

Probably that we weren't friends. Yeah, because there was once where I, during our hiatus, I, like, posted a picture of us or something and someone was like so they are still friends few and i was like oh my god you thought we weren't friends because also when we in when we took our hiatus we said we'll be back we didn't say like that's the end of the show no but maybe people were like maybe they're lied so any time over the hiatus that you guessed it on another podcast and mentioned best friends that transcript is screenshot it's and put up here saying okay they said that they're They're co-hosting best friends.

It might be coming back. Okay, Sashir went on the big flop. She said she's a host of best friends. So she's coming back. And let's see. There's a picture of both of you at Beyonce together. That's what I posted and someone's like, okay, they are still friends. Nicole and Sashir on Sashir's Instagram story.

So they're keeping track of when you guys are. Wow. This is fun. We're creating conspiracy. I love it. There's lore Yeah, no new episodes Didn't they say new episodes

Would be starting early January Assuming maybe the fires Have deleted things Oh no And burned down our studio Oh no Such a bummer We haven't had new episodes

In so long And then there's like 20 comments There's a lot There is one long thread About Nicole Like you sang on written At one point In the past

On the podcast Yes So really loved it Let the rain fall down everybody get it here I don't know I wish I could remember the way I sang it

Yeah That's pretty close I feel like it was a combination of unwritten And let the rain fall Yes because I keep saying Let the rain come in Yeah

Let's do one more question Let's do it Yeah People really like to sing Unwritten Oh but wait Do you have a motto? I don't know that have a motto

Or a mantra Um Mines just keep swimming from finding Nemo. That's nice. I really love just keep swimming. I like that. It's like you kind of just have to keep going. You could take a break, but you got to keep going. I like that.

Hi, Nicole and Sashir. I'm so excited you two are back. Listening to you, giggle together makes my week. My question is about my best friend of 15 years not coming to my wedding. We met in college as potluck roommates and quickly discovered we grew up in the same small town and somehow didn't know each other. From then on, we were in the inseparable. Roommates through college and after, road tripped, and couch served in multiple states, and moved halfway across the country not once, but twice together. I even introduced him to his now wife, who happened to grow up in the same hometown as my now husband. I was his only

wedding party member, the one there just for him, and he was the first person to support me when I came out. We've always been each other's family when our own didn't show up. But in recent years, the friendship feels one-sided. He moved back to his wife's home tax. He moved back to his wife's home town and I've flown out to see him multiple times only for him to bail after a quick brunch. When he visited my city, he didn't even tell me he was there until he said he was there with other plans. For my bachelor party, he went from excited to plan to bailing entirely. Then, during wedding planning, he told me his wife was pregnant. I was thrilled for them, but when I asked about the wedding, he got distant until finally he said he couldn't come because his priest and doctors

said no. I didn't even know he was religious, but apparently he's in seminary now and never mentioned it. Big shock your priest said don't go to the gay wedding, L.O.L. My wedding is in two months before their due date, and my whole family already decided not to come. I told him even if he could just be there for the day, it would mean everything, but still he said no. So, am I holding onto a friendship that's already slipped away? Am I being unreasonable? I'm finding myself wishing he show up for me the way I've always shown up for him. That's sad. Yeah.

Oh, boy. I do think you have to have a conversation to be like, hey, this religious journey we're going on. Are you feeling some type of way about my sexuality? Yeah. That feels like the biggest difference. It sounded like he was pretty supportive and present until she came out, maybe. Yeah. I mean, I don't know.

We don't know the timeline. But yeah, that does seem like an obvious reason. And that's tough. That sucks. Yeah. But I feel like once you know you can vent, I think that's a little bit of closure. If it is a friendship that is ending, it's like, well, I'm just going to straight up ask you, is this why we've grown distant? And if they say, yeah, and it's like, okay.

Yeah. It's tough. That sucks. It's tough. Some friendships can prevail. past huge life differences and some can't sometimes it's like yeah it's crazy my friend from elementary school voted for Trump and like it's up to you if you're okay with that or not but for all people it's like no like that and I think that's growing up I think it's growing up and you change

as a person your friend changes as a person and you start realizing your like value systems and if they don't align it's possible you can't really have this person in your life anymore yeah but yeah I agree with you have a conversation

because it could be that might be something else yeah maybe you did something that not to be like you did it but maybe something happened that you're not aware of maybe he's in love with you maybe he thought

he could get a chance at some point later in life and you then you became gay and he's like I'll never get my chance Wait, is our listener, what do they identify as? It's a little vague. Oh, okay. Yeah. They said that their pseudonym is Bob, so I'm not sure about gender.

Oh, Bob. Man gay. Man. I thought I was, I was visualizing female gay, but I guess I don't know. I don't know why I thought that. And what's a potluck roommate? I don't have no idea. Oh, yeah, they were roommates.

So, yeah, maybe. Potluck roommates. That may they host potlucks? Every day you wake up with a different stew. For whatever reason, potluck to me means everyone's bringing stew. It does sound like a stew. And not just a dish. So I like, I'm very hesitant to use the word potluck.

I'll just be like, everyone bring something. Maybe because of like a crock pot? Yeah, probably. And stews come out of crock pot. Exactly. Solved. Did it? No.

I think I think the answer is you got to just. straight up ask. Yeah. And you could be vulnerable and be like, I consider you family. Mm-hmm. And I was hoping you felt the same way, but I'd like to know your perspective on it.

Mm-hmm. Because two months before a due date, maybe she can't travel, the pregnant lady? Yeah. But this husband can. The husband sure can. Yeah. And it says the priest and the doctor said not to go. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Yeah. You just got to talk. Yeah. That's tough. And I empathize and I'm sorry. Yeah. Yeah. It's, I hope.

If this, yeah, if this is a friend breakup, I hope that you're able to find a community that also feels like family. Yeah. Yeah. Solved. Ever so quietly. Yeah. The soft is solved. Yes.

Solved. And if you would like something solved, we have an email address. No. colon, sashir at gmail.com. And you could ever so softly call us at our phone number. Yeah. 323-2-8-6-554. Sashir, this has been really nice.

It's been so nice talking with you here. I can't wait until the next time we get to leave our homes. I really look forward to it. Put on makeup and clothes. And come to the studio. It's always joy. Good night. Good night.

Best Friends is a production of HeadGum Studios. Our producer is Ali Khan. Our executive producers, Anya Khan of Skaya. The show is edited, mixed, and engineered by Rochelle Chen. That was a HeadGum podcast. What's going on? It's Lamorn Morris. And Hannah Simone. And we host The Mess Around, a New Girl rewatch podcast now on HeadGum.

Now here's the thing. Every single week, we chat about an episode of New Girl, and we really get into it. Like, we get up in there. We get up in there. You know, we reminisce about our time is on set. We share behind the scenes team. We react to rewatching episodes that we haven't seen in years. We talk about how Jake Johnson is dog.

That's not true. We talk about so many memories we have of working with the biggest stars on the planet. I'm talking Prince, Taylor Swift, Olivia Rodriguez. We're just two BFFs having a good old time, okay? Sometimes we even talk to other co-stars like Zoe. Day Chanel, Jake Johnson, Max Greenfield, and Damon Wayne's Jr. And your dad. We talked to your dad on this show as well. Make sure you subscribe to the mess around wherever you get your podcasts.

New episodes drop every single Tuesday.